Fear and Self-Loathing in ITLiving, and Thriving with Imposter Syndrome

FYI: This is NOT a how-to session!

Who is Angela?

Polaris Solutions ALM Practice Mgr since Jan ‘12

Been in the software industry since 1999

Runs the Chicago ALM User Group

ALM MVP, PSM, PSD, SPC

Has a *possibly* unhealthy love of Halloween

Polaris Solutions- http://www.polarissolutions.com/

Chicago Visual Studio ALM User Group - http://www.chicagoalmug.org/

Twitter: @OakParkGirl, @ChicagoALM, @TeamPolaris

Blog - http://www.tfswhisperer.com/

More about Angela

Angela is not a trained psychologist

Angela most definitely suffers from imposter

syndrome

Also, there is a non-zero chance that I am

terrified that you all think I am full of crap!

Are YOU a “phony”?

Imposter Syndrome

a psychological phenomenon in which people are unable

to internalize their accomplishments. Despite external

evidence of their competence, those with the syndrome

remain convinced that they are frauds and do not deserve

the success they have achieved. Proof of success is

dismissed as luck, timing, or as a result of deceiving others

into thinking they are more intelligent and competent than

they believe themselves to be.

Notably, impostor syndrome is particularly common

among high-achieving women.

~Wikipedia

Researchers believe that up to 70% of people

have felt the effects of impostor syndrome at

some point

The Test - Trigger warning!

The Imposter Test: http://paulineroseclance.com/pdf/IPscoringtest.pdf

“When people praise me for something I’ve accomplished, I’m afraid I won’t be able to live up to their expectations of me in the future”

“I’m afraid people important to me may find out that I’m not as capable as they think I am”

“I rarely do a project or task as well as I’d like to do it”

“I often compare my ability to those around me and think they may be more intelligent than I am”

“I tend to remember the incidents in which I have not done my best more than those times I have done my best”

How would you score?

40 or less = respondent has few IS characteristics

41 to 60 = respondent has moderate IS

experiences

61 to 80 = respondent frequently has Impostor

feelings

80+ = respondent often has intense IS experiences

http://paulineroseclance.com/pdf/IPscoringtest.pdf

IT Evangelist: 40

Graphic Designer: 74

Senior Developer: 67

Dietician: 69

Screen Printer: 73

Librarian: 71Agile coach: 74

Interior Designer: 55

IT Director: 77

ALM Consultant: 87

Industrial Plumber: 54

SAHM: 39Lawyer: 53

Freelance Writer: 30

IT Manager: 55

IT Consultant: 55

Scenic Painter: 71SAHM: 52

Biology Teacher: 65

Network Administrator: 39

Audio Engineer: 67

Lawyer: 89

Management Consultant: 67

Sr Developer: 70

SAHM: 69Academic Coach: 57

Kindergarten Teacher: 56

Senior ALM Specialist

FANTASY vs. REALITY

REALITY CHECK

Most “experts” had no freaking

clue what they were doing at first…

Until they DID

NO REALLY, I *HAVE* TO BE AN EXPERT!

Being an “expert” is overrated

An expert is just someone who has effedup something more than you

Being a beginner is pretty amazing!

FEAR

Fear is an emotion induced by a threat perceived

by living entities, which causes a change in brain

and organ function and ultimately a change in

behavior, such as running away, hiding, or freezing

from traumatic events.

But what are we all so afraid of?

Being wrong?

Not having ALL of the answers?

Getting Fired?

Not being “perfect”?

Being/looking vulnerable?

Perfection is the enemy of good

And maybe it’s not ALL bad

It's OK to feel like a phony sometimes. It's healthy if it moves you forward

We all feel like phonies sometimes. We are all phonies. That's how we grow. We get into situations that are just a little more than we can handle, or we get in a little over our heads. Then we can handle them, and we aren't phonies, and we move on to the next challenge.

~Scott Hanselman

http://www.hanselman.com/blog/ImAPhonyAreYou.aspx

Humility

In Judaism humility is an appreciation of oneself,

one's talents, skills, and virtues. It is not meekness or

self-deprecating thought, but the effacing of

oneself to something higher.

Humility is not to think lowly of oneself, but to

appreciate the self one has received.

~ Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks

“True humility is not thinking less of

yourself; it is thinking of yourself

less.”

~ C.S. Lewis

Acting with humility is a

RESPONSIBLE way to participate in

the IT community

ANY community

Story Time

Many of my posts are an admission

of ignorance

Putting yourself out there is HARD

For some of us, it is absolutely

terrifying to be recognized for the

awesome things that we do

Or are capable of

But what amazing opportunities do we

miss out on when we let our fear of

being seen as a phony drive our

decisions?

Benefits of occasionally feeling like

an imposter

Admitting you don’t know the answer

to something lends you instant

credibility.

I’m serious, try it…

Feeling like you don’t know all the

answers makes you more likely to

seek out new solutions

Feeling like you don’t know all the

answers makes you more likely to

embrace new ideas

So what do we do now?

Recognize how you’re feeling

Go ahead and feel it

And stop beating yourself up about it

Remind yourself that you are NOT a phony

Not working? OK, go with it…

Let it encourage you to push yourself to learn

Let it foster innovation and experimentation

Accept the humility that it teaches you

Find something you’re great at

then teach someone else about it

Nothing helps us realize just how

much we have to offer like

mentoring someone

Find someone who inspires you, get

connected, then ask for help

Chances are, they’ve been there too!

Then focus on being the best you, it really IS

enough

Be FEARLESS

Take risks

Be ok with being vulnerable

Ask for help

Be a LEADER

“A manager’s job is not to prevent risks but it

is their job to make it safe to take them.”

~@dneighbors

You don’t have to be a “manager” to be a

leader!

Be an EXAMPLE

Nothing makes you scrutinize how you

represent yourself, accept and give praise,

and react to others’ missteps like having

others look to you as a model for behavior!

Because our children are watching

Embrace Failure, It Is Inevitable

And absolutely CRITICAL to growing as a technologist

And as a human being

Recognize it in others

Recognize when others are feeling like imposters

Create a safe environment for sharing ideas and

asking questions

Shut down bad behavior as soon as you see it

Trust yourself

Imposter Syndrome

a psychological phenomenon in which people are unable

to internalize their accomplishments. Despite external

evidence of their competence, those with the syndrome

remain convinced that they are frauds and do not deserve

the success they have achieved. Proof of success is

dismissed as luck, timing, or as a result of deceiving others

into thinking they are more intelligent and competent than

they believe themselves to be.

Notably, impostor syndrome is particularly common

among high-achieving women.

~Wikipedia

Reading / Watching List

I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn't): Making the Journey from "What Will People Think?" to "I Am Enough“ ~$11

Managing Humans - $18

Getting Naked ~$20

The Art of Asking ~$18

Be a Beginner Jeff Blankenburg talk from Kalamazoo X

Referenced Feats of Strength

My Blog: http://www.tfswhisperer.com/

My Slide decks:

http://www.slideshare.net/angelabinkowski

TFS Webinar:

http://blogs.msdn.com/b/visualstudioalm/archive/2015/03

/20/alm-webinars-and-conference-and-events.aspx

TFS Radio Podcast:

http://www.radiotfs.com/Show/92/EveryoneisanImpostor