the 11 worst corporate gifts
DESCRIPTION
Corporate Gift Ideas and Corporate Gifts to avoid from "NUTS ON CLARK".TRANSCRIPT
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11The Branded Polo Shirt
• Polos are an iffy piece of clothing to begin with (Are you dressy or casual? Make up your mind!) Beyond a confused disposition, most corporate polos do not fit.
• Tolerance is an important virtue, but
that doesn't mean that the tiny sales girl and 300 pound man in accounting wear the same size.
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10The Paperweight
• Do not give someone a paperweight unless you want them to
• A) Look like a pretentious
numnutsor• B) Agonize about how to re-gift
a present that everyone hates. • Sidenote: What is the use of
"weighing down paper". Most offices are inside, correct?
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9Company Mugs
• Have you ever met a person who really wanted a mug with a company logo? Me either.
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8Gift Cards With Embarrassingly Small Amounts of Money On Them • "$5! Thank you so much"
(what comes out of my mouth versus what I'm actually thinking):
• HOW DO YOU LIVE WITH YOURSELF YOU CHEAP BASTARD! THAT ROLEX ON YOUR ARM IS WORTH 10,000 OF THESE! YOU COULDN'T HAVE SPRUNG FOR $10? REALLY?
• I feel better.
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7Calendar
• Thank you so much for this calendar with your company's logo on it. How would I ever organize myself or know what day it was without your help?
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6Cheap Pens
• Why do people insist on giving cheap pens, that inevitably break within 2 days, as corporate gifts?
• Oh yeah, they're cheap. And
they also get thrown away faster than rotting meat.
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5Laser Pointers
I had one of these once, like everybody else, and then I threw it away. Hey laser pointer, hang out with your friends Tomagachi, POGS, and slap bracelets in fad-land.
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4Frisbee
• One of the most insulting gifts to receive, especially if you are a white male who is out of college.
• It's the gift that calls you a
Dave Matthews fan, a beer guzzling slacker, a pot head, and a dead beat. The gift that just keeps on giving.
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3Stress Balls • Quite possibly the most ironic
of corporate gifts, as the giver is usually the source of the majority of the recipients' stress
• Slightly condescending as well:
"I know I've created stress in your life, but just squeeze this ball. I won't be any easier to deal with, but you'll have something to take your frustration out on besides your friends and family."
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2Personalized Sticky Notes
• Have you heard of post-its? They are just like what you are giving me, minus the gimmick and $10 cheaper.
• It may be flattering that you think
I'm like Einstein, but would Einstein ever use branded sticky notes?
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1Mousepads
• Not only does everyone already have a mousepad, but no one is in a market for a new one. Giving a mousepad to a computer user is like giving a steering wheel to a car owner. What am I supposed to do with this?
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