the 4 steps
TRANSCRIPT
The 4 Steps
Practically using NonviolentCommunication
The 4 Steps
Getting through a conflict situation in 4 steps:
• Step 1: Observing without Evaluating
• Step 2: Identifying Feelings at Play
• Step 3: Discover Underlying Needs
• Step 4: Making Requests for Enrichment
Step 1: Observation
• Situation:
– Many different things
– Observing the facts
– Don’t blame, don’t judge
– EMPATHY
Step 2: Feelings
• EMPATHY for self
– What are you feeling?
– Don’t blame yourself for feeling
• EMPATHY for other
– What are they feeling?
– Don’t blame them for feeling
Step 3: Needs
• Emotions = signs for needs (not) being met
• Universal Needs
– Non universal emotional reactions to needs
• Find the need by asking about it
Step 4: Request
• How can we meet the unmet needs?
– Request the other party for help
• What are the other party’s needs?
– Respect that those needs need to be met too
• One strategy to meet all/many of the needs
(ELC = experiential learning cycle)