the adventures of holly weird, zombie slayer

8/6/2019 The Adventures of Holly Weird, Zombie Slayer

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The Adventures of Holly Weird,

Zombie Slayer

By Nick Pawluk, Creator of the iPhone AppHollyweird

Zombies and Rusty Fischer, author ofZombies Dont Cry

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Copyright 2011 by Nick Pawluk and Rusty Fischer

All rights reserved.

This is a work of fiction. All of the names, characters, places and events

portrayed in this novel are either products of the authors imagination or, if

real, are used fictitiously.

Cover credit: Phase4Photography Fotolia

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Authors Note:

The following is a FREE living dead short story written in conjunction with the

iPhone App,Hollyweird Zombies.

Any errors, typos, grammar or spelling issues are completely the fault of the living

dead.

(Theyre not very patient with the editorial process!)

Anyway, we hope you can overlook any minor errors you may find; enjoy!

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The Adventures of Holly Weird, Zombie Slayer

I open Bliss in the dark; I dont need to see her anymore to know which

is her business end.

Shes all I have against the two of them.

Luckily, shes all I need.

They are big and lets face it, Im far from it, but with zombies its not

how big they are, but how fast they are.

These two are faster than most, but they eat too many human brains to be

human themselves.

As for me, well, Im a strict carnivore; its only animal brains for me,

and from the UCLA medical lab at that no wild animals were harmed in my

dinner, thats for sure.

It keeps me more human than most; and out here on the street, I need all

the edge I can get.

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There is an empty cigarette pack on the edge of the playground; I step on

it purposefully, just to see if these Zannibals (zombies + cannibals =

Zannibals; try to keep up, huh?)are paying attention.

The bigger one is; he turns around, dead eyes black and full of rage as he

nudges the other one with a giant, blunt shoulder.

Run, Percy, I say to the tall, bony teen clinging desperately to the

jungle gym.

The Zannibals hesitate, not sure whether to focus on dinner or dessert.

Lucky me; they choose dessert.

Fancy meeting you here,Holly, grunts the big one familiarly.

Ive heard the others call him Grinder; from the looks of his headstone

size, traffic light yellow chompers, the nickname fits.

Whered you think Id be, fellas? Having tea with the queen?

The smaller one, though hes far from small, croaks, Its not fair of you

to interrupt meal time, Holly.

I rack my brain and finally come up with a name for this one, too: Stain.

It fits as well, thanks to the garish black spot that covers half his left

shoulder and creeps nearly to his chin.

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Fair? I blurt, keeping the switchblade I call Bliss slid into my back

belt loop so they can see I have nothing in my hands. That what you call

ganging up on some homeless Sapien in the middle of the night?

You know the rules, Holly, says Grinder, advancing an inch without

really looking like hes moving. If no onell miss em, then theyre fair

game.

Yeah, I know thats how you Zannibals rationalize murdering innocent

human beings, but any rule that calls living people fair game is made to be

broken.

You know what else is made to be broken, Holly? asks Grinder, being

sssssoooooooo obvious.

I tense and inch forward.

Both your fugly faces, I snark, hands still on my bony hips.

The Zannibals look at each other and I take the moment to spring

forward, liberating Bliss from the small of my back and grabbing her fiercely

in my left hand.

Stain lifts his hand up instinctively; its big and blotchy and gray and all

kinds of huge.

Huge enough for me to slice off the first three fingers the blade touches;

it doesnt stop there his ear goes next.

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Stain growls; thats what Zannibals do.

The minute theyre faced with a foe, or even something they like, such

as eating some random homeless kids brain, for instance they growl; pure

animal behavior.

Not sure why Im still surprised at this point.

I tumble just beyond them, right hand gripping the jungle gym and

swinging up to the top.

Thats the good thing about being a small zombie; you can go where the

big zombies cant.

Its just out of reach for the Zannibals, and doubly so for poor Stain who

can only point at me with his two remaining fingers.

Grinders face is a mask of anger and rage; the two primary Zannibal

emotions.

I walk above them, stepping carefully from rusty metal bar to bar in my

ratty black hi-tops and keeping Bliss handy.

Grinder steps on the far side, Stain the left; God, theyre so stupid!

The minute theyre halfway up I slip down between the middle bars,

landing safely on the tarmac and rushing Grinders legs as he quickly begins to

descend.

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Before he can hit the ground I slide Bliss through both his Achilles

tendons; slice, slice, like a warm knife through butter.

Sure, my life might be more fun if I didnt spend two nights a week

sharpening Bliss for hours on end, but then I couldnt do things like that now,

could I?

He doesnt groan, but he drops like a lead balloon and cant stand up;

even though it doesnt hurt him, it cripples him.

Stain growls, howls is more like it, and rushes me with all the force of a

marble pale freight train.

I stand just out of Grinders swiping, massive paws and crouch, waiting

for just the right moment.

As Stain approaches, faster and faster now, building up steam and

momentum, I juke just slow enough to the left for him to readjust his course;

then I zag to the right and, when hes turning his head to find me, slice through

his neck with the razor sharp blade.

His head falls with a dry thump, and nothing more.

There is no blood to avoid or stain my smoky gray hoodie; only the soft,

sad sighing of trapped air escaping a lidless white neck.

Grinder looks up at me, giant fingers clawing in the pavement as he

crawls my way.

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He was probably only talking trash anyway, I figure, sliding one arm out

of my backpack and unzipping it.

Inside is one of those fold-up shovels like the Army uses; I unfold it and

start digging a grave big enough, and deep enough, to hold these two without

attracting every stray dog in the neighborhood.

At least not for another few weeks, anyway.

Percy shuffles over about halfway through the dirty, dirty job and I

smirk, handing him the shovel and stepping out of the three-foot by five foot

hold.

Tag, I chuckle, rubbing his curly blond hair and watching him smirk.

Youre it!

I would have stayed away longer if Id known you werent through

yet, he groans, making quick work of another two feet of ground with his

long, muscular arms.

I stop him when its deep enough and sit on the edge of a nearby merry-

go-round, patting the space next to me.

He lopes over on his long, gangly legs and does what hes told.

Hes a good kid, Percy is; just a little lost.

How longs it been since youve eaten? I ask as I unzip my backpack

and slide out two candy bars.

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This morning? he asks/answers as I offer him the second bar.

He pauses before taking it shyly.

You sure? he asks even as he unwraps.

I wink and say, Youre going to need your energy, Percy; our jobs only

half done.

Still, the night is young and Im in no hurry.

From the looks of it, neither is Percy.

What were you doing out here anyway, Percy? You know its past

curfew at the shelter.

He shrugs and looks down at his own battered sneakers, the candy bar

already halfway gone.

Im not staying there tonight, he admits.

He avoids my eyes as I ask, Somebody harassing you?

Not somebody, he grunts, kicking at dirt with the toe of his shoe.

Somebod-ies.

I flick open my switchblade, making a big show of clacking the butterfly

ends together and flashing them under the moonlight, just to make him feel

better.

You want me to sick Bliss on em, Percy?

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He snorts and says, Why do you call it that, anyway?

I shrug, flip her closed again and slide her back in my pocket. Because

thats how it makes me feel to kill those guys, Percy; blissful. Now, come on;

finish up your Zonker bar and lets get back to work.

* * * * *

You decent? asks Percy as he pads out of the shower stall on bare feet,

a dingy gray towel wrapped around his concave waist.

As decent as Im getting for you, I snark, boiling two packets of

Ramen noodles over my hot plate.

He slips into a clean wife beater and a pair of baggy boxers from my

Lost and Found box and slinks over to me in his flapping purple flip-flops, also

from the L & F.

Yumm, he says, sitting on a barstool and draining half the soda Id

poured for him while he was in the shower. Is that the spicy kind?

Would I serve you anything less?

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He yawns and puts his sharp chin on one rosy palm.

Hey, he says as I dish the noodles and water into the giant black bowl

in front of him. Can you stand in front of me? I like to read while I eat?

Hes referring, of course, to the tableau of tattoos that cover 85% of my

body.

Half of them are visible now, even with my black yoga pants and

matching sports bra on.

I sigh and stand there while he eats, giant green eyes exploring the

colorful ink splashed across my pale skin.

Whats this one, here? he asks, pointing a plastic chopstick at my left

shoulder blade.

I dont have to try and look over my shoulder to know which one hes

referring to.

My boyfriend at the time liked classic literature. Thats Moby Dick.

And this one? he asks while slurping up another mound of steamy

white noodles and pointing to my right bicep.

Thats Edgar Allen Poes headstone.

He shakes his head and says, I know youre a zombie, Holly, but just

how old ARE you?

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A woman never tells, I sigh, cracking a can of generic soda and

drinking half of it down in a slug.

I pace the warehouse loft as he eats, wired from the run-in with those

creepy Zannibals.

Youll have to be extra careful from now on, Percy, I say as he washes

his plate in the kitchenette sink. Theyll want retribution.

Well, cant I stay here Holly? Youll protect me.

You can stay tonight, Percy, I say apologetically, patting the single cot

in the middle of the vast warehouse space. I wish you could stay longer but

in case those Zannibals ever track me down one day, I dont want them to find

you here along with me.

He shrugs, but doesnt look too broken up about it.

Then again, hes used to disappointment.

He slides under the covers, all 6 3 and 150-pounds of him, his

borrowed boxer shorts practically sliding down his pale legs.

Why do you have such a bug up your butt about those guys anyway,

Holly? he yawns, fluffing the starchy white pillow beneath his curly blond

hair as if hes waiting for a bedtime mint.

Besides the fact that they prey on the homeless kids of Hollywood, you

mean?

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He nods, yanking the covers up to his bony, pimply chin.

Did I ever tell you how I became a zombie?

He shakes his head and I say, for about the 100th time to the 100th

homeless kid on the streets of Hollywood, My mom took me to a casting

agents office, high in the Hollywood Hills. His name was Frost, just one word;

like Madonna or Cher. At the time, we thought it was charming. Frost. It

sounded so cool, you know? We were new in town, this was ages ago, and we

didnt know any better. We never told my Dad about it; he would have warned

us against it. Anyway, the address was this grand old mansion. It was terribly

derelict, no water in the fountain, weeds overgrown, but that only added to the

charm.

Frost said I was beautiful, but too young for the role he was looking to

fill. He asked Mom to read for the part instead, but insisted she do it in

private. That was okay; sure, I was disappointed but also I was so excited for

her. And she was beautiful, too. Anyway, I stayed behind. There were all these

creepy bodyguards around, dressed in black

Like tonight, Percy croaks, eyes half-lidded with a fully belly and a

warm bed. With those creepy Zannibals who were going to suck on my brain

if you hadnt showed up when you did.

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Just like tonight, I nod. Anyway, we stayed outside Frosts den, the

bodyguards and me, and he took my mom inside. I was bored, started walking

around the grand ballroom a while. The bodyguards followed. I hadnt strayed

too far when I heard screaming; I ran for my mom, but the bodyguards caught

me. They they

They werent bodyguards, were they Holly? Percy asks, eyes closed

but brain wide open.

I shake my head but he doesnt see so I say, No, Percy, they most

certainly were not.

He hears the tone in my voice, the fear still fresh after all these years,

and opens his big green eyes wide. They were zombies?

They were Zannibals, Percy. Im a zombie, and you dont need me to

tell you the difference after all this time on the streets.

He nods and the stiff white pillowcase rustles against his curly blond

hair.

After a pregnant pause he says, What happened to your Mom?

I passed out, after they bit me; that happens, for a few minutes or so

after they turn you. Its kind of like your bodys switching over from manual to

auto-pilot, you know?

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He smiles, softly, revealing crooked, yellow teeth. Or like when your

computer has to shut down to reboot itself.

Exactly, I beam, as if hes my star student and just earned another A+

+. Anyway, when I came to again, they were dragging Mom off; in pieces. I

never saw her again, but I saw the Zannibals again.

What do you mean?

Once I figured out who I was, or what I was, I haunted that old

mansion. Turns out it was the Zannibals hideout. Theyd place ads in the trade

papers, and stupid young girls like me would step right off the bus and head

into the Hills for their big shot at fame and fortune.

The Zannibals either ate them, like my Mom, or turned them, like me.

Anyway, I followed Frost and the bodyguards for weeks; there were no

movies, no producers, no introductions. One night I went up into the

Hollywood Hills, carrying two cans of gasoline. I started one fire in the four-

car garage and, while the Zannibals were fighting that, another in Frosts

office; the mansion went up in flames. It was on the news and everything since

it was right near the Hollywood sign!

Really? Percy asks, like this is the best part of the story for him!

Yeah, really; the Zannibals have been after me ever since.

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Percy snorts, no doubt recalling the run-in with Grinder and Stain from

earlier that night.

So now you have it, Percy, my whole sordid

But Percy isnt snorting; hes snoring.

I rise from the hard back chair next to his cot and begin pacing the

perimeter of the warehouse, watching over him as he sleeps.

* * * * *

I feed Percy some generic Pop Tarts when he gets up the next morning,

hand him a few crumpled bills and one of the individually wrapped

toothbrushes I keep by the warehouse door.

Check in with me tonight, I say, following him out into the harsh LA

sunlight.

Same place as usual?

Chairman Chows on Sunset, I wink, watching him disappear into the

heavy brush that surrounds the abandoned warehouse.

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I listen carefully in his wake, eager for the sounds of footsteps other

than his.

Like me, Zannibals dont need sleep; but that doesnt mean they like to

come out in the daylight, either.

Of course, its harder for them to blend in; they look like zombies.

Me?

Well, with the ink and the makeup and the Goth wear, I pretty much

look like just another Hollywood Boulevard tramp, trolling the boulevard for

her next hot meal.

Instead I hit up the usual spots, checking on my kids as I like to call

them.

I find a few at Francos Deli, sharing a plate of pancakes cause they

cant afford more than that or, if they can, theyre saving up their money for

smokes and beer later on.

Theyre a ragtag bunch, one boy and three girls, all ripe with street sweat

and nicotine fumes, all in clothes either way too big, or way too small for them.

Whats up, Holly Weird? says one of them, the tallest, a towering

street girl with chipmunk cheeks and legs for miles.

I wrinkle my nose and slug her playfully on the shoulder.

Why do you call me that, Chipmunk?

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Same reason you call my Chipmunk, Holly Weird, she explains.

Because it fits.

Yeah, says another, a short, plump kid called Raver. Youre cool, but

theres something off about you, too. Like, cool off, but still off. So

Holly Weird just fits.

I snort; it kind of makes sense, if you think about it.

Besides, better to be thought of as weird than, you know, an actual

zombie.

Only Percy knows my real secret; and the less these kids know, the

better!

The better for them, that is.

I make sure theyre okay, ask them if theyve seen any weirdoes dressed

in black lately and, when theyre all smiles and shaking their heads no, order

them another round of pancakes chocolate chip this time and move on.

They bang their appreciation with greasy hands on the big window by

their booth as I pass.

Even through the glass I can hear them shouting, Thanks, Holly Weird

in unison.

There are more stops on the way as noon switches to afternoon, and

afternoon to evening.

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Next up is the liquor store, where I catch a few of my regular kids

hustling bums to buy them booze.

Then theres the crowded, hustling bodega on Vine Street, where I buy

them all Slim Jims and Red Bulls just to make sure theyve eaten something

today.

I find my last few gaggle of homeless kids in front of Manns Chinese

Theater, hustling the tourists while pretending to be pirates from the latest

Johnny Depp movie.

Only thing is, theyre not dressing up; they just generally look like little

scamps 24/7/365.

They look to be doing okay, despite their rowdy appearance, so I dont

buy them anything; just ask if theyve seen anything thats strange you know,

even for them.

When they smile and shake their heads, running after a Japanese couple

before any of the other comically-clad superheroes can get to them, I turn

and walk away.

I have one last stop before nightfall.

Stained is the grubbiest tattoo parlor on Hollywood Boulevard, and

thats really saying something!

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A blinking neon sign spells out S-T-A-I-N-E-D one letter after the other,

night or day.

I walk inside, hearing the blare of heavy metal music on the cheap radio

over the cash register as I marvel, once more, at the thousands of snapshots of

satisfied customers and their artful tattoos covering the walls.

An old man, 79 if hes a day, sits over a series of half-empty ink pots,

refilling them with trembling hands in anticipation of the long, busy night

ahead.

You never came home last night, I tell him, grabbing a soda from the

dorm fridge in the back.

I grab something for him, too; he looks a little shaky if you know

what I mean.

He gives me that lurid wink of his and says, What can I say, darlin?

When the last customer of the night insists on making you breakfast the next

morning, what are you gonna do?

Dad, I sigh, handing him a tall can of cheap, domestic beer to steady

his nerves. How am I supposed to protect you if I dont know where you are?

Protect me from what? he croaks, opening the can as foam sprays one

of his trademark Hawaiian shirts.

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Its unbuttoned over a stained wife beater tank top, bulging at the middle

over his sizable beer gut.

Dad came back from Vietnam, but it was like he never left.

Mom says between the Army surplus hand grenades, flame throwers and

rifles he kept in the shed out behind our humble Hollywood apartment, she was

always afraid of getting blown up every time she reached for the potting soil!

The Zannibals have beef with you, Holly, not me.

His skin is leathery from the sun, a salt and pepper beard scratchy over

his wattled neck and his own string of tattoos, stretching from his neck to his

toes.

His thinning hair is greasy and short, but his skin like mine tells the

sad, storied tale of his long, miserable life.

For whatever reason, the ladies find him irresistible.

Me?

Ill never be able to figure it out.

Hed remained faithful for as long as he could after Mom left.

Held a steady job inking cells for some downtown movie studio that

specialized in adult cartoons, whatever those are.

Then, one day, he just started drinking and never stopped.

I called it his delayed reaction to Moms death.

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He called it moving on.

Either way, he moved on in a big way.

He quit his job, sold the house and opened Stained.

He was an artist, he said; time to start showing his art.

I was his first customer; and his second and his third.

Since then, hes never looked back and Ive pretty much been on my

own.

I sigh and sit down in his chair, waiting for him to fill his ink pots.

Another one? he asks, hands still trembling but less so now.

Two, I say, giving him time to finish his beer so he doesnt flub up my

latest tats.

I roll up my black yoga pants, revealing a long, white leg filled with

names; cursive names, all of them inked by Dad, all of them commemorating

one less Zannibal in the world.

He sighs, crumples up his empty beer can and tosses it in the trash by his

cluttered work station; it falls on top of several other empties.

Names, he grunts, just as hes done a hundred times before.

Grinder. Stain.

And, just like that, he gets to work.

I dont feel the pain of the needle, only its vibrations in my very bones.

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In a way, getting a tattoo that piercing, buzzing, trembling feeling is

the only time I really feel anything at all.

As he tackles one leg, I look at the other, covered in faces, in pictures, in

names that resonate through my long, desolate life.

The hidden meanings of this rose or that quote, of this face or that

butterfly, are nearly lost to me now.

They meant so much at one point; enough to permanently etch into my

thick zombie hide.

Now they mean only that I look like half of Hollywood; dark and

twisted, sleek and a little bit sexy.

Whoever thought my own obsession with recording my zombie

existence would make me look as human as anyone else in town?

Thats still my favorite, Dad croaks, and only then do I realize his

needle has been silent; perhaps even for some time.

His thick finger is surprisingly gentle as it traces the deep, dark tribal

ring that surrounds my wrist; only he could spot it, so entwined is it with the

skulls and barbed wire and bright red rose tattoos that litter my forearm and the

upper part of my hand.

And to think, he admires, voice surprisingly gentle as the sun gently

sets outside his open shop door. Its a birthmark, not a tattoo.

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I smirk. Mom always said shed tell me what it meant when I got

older.

His eyes get moist, if not exactly watery as he looks away, suddenly.

Who knew shed be the one to never grow old, Holly?

He stumbles away from his table, limping slightly as he crosses the

cramped and acrid tattoo parlor to get to his precious fridge.

It hides another steel gate, this one sealed tight with a lock all day, all

night, long.

Inside is his weapons stash; some sawed off shotguns, boxes of bullets,

the odd flame thrower or machine gun.

Most of them are relics, all of them necessary in this part of town.

(Okay, so maybe not the flame thrower, but Waddya gonna do, right?)

Dad says all Vietnam vets have a stash; Mom said they all had a

footlocker, only Dad had a stash.

He brings back a beer for him; a soda for me.

Just as I go to pop the top the door fills with a tall, thin shadow; Percy.

Holly, he wheezes, asthma acting up again as his chest heaves and I

notice the ring of dark sweat around his faded collar. Come quick! The

Zannibals are at the playground again.

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What? I stammer, standing up as Dad shifts slightly to avoid spilling

his beer. I thought I told you to stay away from there, Percy.

I was going to, he says, standing in the doorway, antsy to leave. But I

stashed my backpack there before the Zannibals cornered me last night and I

wanted to get it back. Theres, like, 30 dollars in there!

I look back at Dad and he waves me off, a wry smile on his face as I

follow Percy out onto the Hollywood Boulevard and the ebb and flow of

human traffic.

Dad knows what Im up to; hes happy someones there to look out for

the kids, but not so happy Im still chasing the Zannibals all these years after

what they did to Mom.

What are they doing? I ask, hot-footing it after Percy, which is no

small feat seeing as his legs are about twice as long as mine and, you know,

actually have blood and adrenaline pumping through them.

It was just a few of them, he says, expertly passing through the short

cuts and dark alleys behind the faade of Hollywood Boulevards scenic hot

spots. They were digging up their pals, you know, Grinder and Stain, but then

they went away to bring back some reinforcements.

How many Zannibals does it take to dig up a few body parts? I ask.

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Were almost there and I pause when he says, I dont think the

reinforcements were just for a few zombie heads, Holly. I think I think

they were worriedyou might come back.

The playground is sad and angry at the same time; dead trees and rusty

swing sets, a place no good mother would ever take her child.

Thats why its so popular with homeless kids like Percy and, of course,

Zannibals looking for a quick and easy midnight snack no good mother would

ever miss.

Here, I grunt, stopping him by the water fountain near the restrooms.

This looks like a good spot.

Good spot for what? he asks, resisting only barely when I drag him

into the ladies room.

A good spot to wait them out.

* * * * *

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Go already, I hiss, standing on top of a sink and staring out a thin,

grimy window at the still deserted gravesite of Grinder and Stain. Its not like

youve got anything I havent seen before.

Yeah but Percy wavers, one foot in the nearest stall, one foot out.

Its the ladies room.

I roll my eyes and turn back away as he finally relieves his bladder in a

symphony of disgusting male noises that dont end until he flushes some two

minutes later.

(God, how I so do NOT miss dating!)

When hes through, and Im thoroughly grossed out, he joins me, feet in

the other sink.

He opens his mouth to say something when I shush him.

I hear crinkling, in the woods surrounding the perviest playground on

earth.

Suddenly Percy hears it, too, and leans in close to his own grimy

window for a better look.

From the brush emerge five Zannibals, two on lookout, three with

shovels hoisted over their bony shoulders.

Told you, Percy whispers, but then says no more.

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We watch as the Zannibals spread out, looking high and low for me, or

Percy, or perhaps just some random homeless kid too strung out or hungry to

run.

When theyve sniffed around long enough thank god this bathroom

smells like the bowels of hell to begin with and they cant get a good whiff of

Percys pumping blood the three Zannibals begin digging up their long lost

friends.

How can we not have killed this witch by now? asks one of the

lookouts, pacing restlessly in his black cargo pants and matching hoodie.

Several of them grunt, and if I still had hackles theyd be raised by now.

She still blames us for killing her stupid mother, cackles another,

tossing a spade full of dirt over his black-clad shoulder.

One of us should tell Frost, grunts one more, shovel resting in the

dark, loamy soil. Hes gonna be ticked when he hears what happened to

Grinder and Stain.

You tell him if youre so brave. You want him to think some chicks

been wiping us out one by one all year?

Percy snickers quietly, shifting his big green eyes my way. Thats you

theyre talking about, he says so quietly even I can barely hear him.

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At last the Zannibals have dug up their friends, bagged them in giant

canvas sacks and begin carting them away.

I tap Percy on the shoulder and have him follow me back down onto the

tiled bathroom floor.

You go back to Stained and spend the night with my Dad if youre not

feeling great about the shelter, I say urgently, inching toward the door.

What about you? he asks, face concerned and gaunt.

I want to see where theyre going. See what my old friend Frost is up

to. Now; go, I dont have time to argue.

He scuffs his feet on the damp bathroom floor but Im already off and

away, clutching Bliss in my left hand and grateful Id worn my sneakers for my

rounds visiting the Orphans today.

The Zannibals make a lot of noise disappearing through the underbrush,

and are slow enough for me to catch up without much trouble.

I hang back far enough to make sure that all five are clustered together,

weighed down by their canvas bags, and that none have slipped behind me for

a tidy ambush.

They tramp through the brush, the sound of traffic on distant Hollywood

Boulevard a steady and constant rush below us.

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They emerge in a dusty culvert with no trees for cover, but cross it

quickly and inch into the Hollywood Hills, disappearing into another tree line

that begins to ascend even more steeply.

I dart across the dry scrub land and follow them once more as they skirt

some of the finest houses in Hollywood.

I inch forward, careful to avoid potholes or rocks to give myself away.

Bliss is eager and ready but its not the Zannibals Im after this time; its

Frost himself.

I follow them to another abandoned mansion, this one in slightly better

repair than the first but still clearly on the downswing.

I wonder how long theyve been at this one and, more importantly, how

long before they move on again.

It is cavernous and crawling with Zannibals, at least two dozen of them,

with no Frost in sight.

They are large and hulking, dressed all in black, making their pale,

deadly faces stand out all the more as they cluster, slack-jawed.

They gather in the courtyard, sliding a decrepit fountain to one side and

digging beneath it to reinter their fallen comrades.

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I roll my eyes and lean against a crooked tree trunk, glowering as at last

the man himself strides from two French doors that open onto the main

courtyard.

The entire affair is walled for privacy, but the hills around afford me an

eagles eye view as I peer down past the nearest wall and into the tiled

courtyard.

Frost is tall and angular, old but not elderly; his silver mane is long and

flowing, as if he has it done at a beauty parlor twice a day.

It was short when he killed my mother; short and neat, and he didnt

look quite so eccentric.

Of course, back then, neither did I.

He wears all black, natch, save for a midnight blue silk shirt under his

flowing black top coat.

In his hand is a long, black cane with a silver tip; beneath his hand is

more silver, this in the shape of a large, round snowflake.

Seeing him would make my heart race, if it still could.

Instead I fondle Blisss handle and prepare for the moment I can slice his

hamstrings and watch him beg for forgiveness.

Not yet, though; right now, I am hungry for more than vengeance.

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I feel drained and slightly weak from another long week of watching

over the homeless kids of Hollywood.

But after scrounging for sugar in my backpack I find only breath mints

and gum.

I down them all quickly and then sniff out the nearest squirrel.

I sit quietly, two gumballs in the crook of a branch and wait until its

within striking distance; Bliss severs its head cleanly, quickly, so the poor

bugger feels no pain.

Like an egg cracked in half, I suck its brain through the base of its skull.

Its not much, but the night is young and the forest is full of squirrels.

I feel bad; I usually dont eat brains on the half skull like this, but when

youre stuck and need some power to save a human life, better to off a few

squirrels or whatever little forest animal is around in order to do so.

Ive had four squirrel brains and two blue jays cerebellums by the time

most of the Zannibals have left for their nightly rounds of picking on the weak

and powerless of LA.

Usually I would follow a group of them and try to stop them, or warn

their victims, but tonight I force myself to stay behind and keep my eyes on the

bigger prize.

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Frost paces as several of his remaining goons return the fountain over

their now buried comrades, and Im about to reach for a fifth squirrel and

continue fueling up when movement in a distant window catches my eye.

There is no electricity at the mansion, but dozens of candelabras flicker

inside the vast room into which I peer.

There is something recognizable about the shadow limping to and fro

just behind frilly white curtains that billow in the evening breeze.

I inch along the top of the courtyard wall, careful to keep low and out of

sight while vying for a closer look inside the dramatically lit room.

Frost is behind me now, barking orders in his bass voice and scraping in

the courtyard with his fine leather soles.

The window is just out of reach now, the curtains flickering as the shape

paces across the floor once more.

Its a woman, clad in black as if from a different era; the 60s, maybe

or the 70s.

She limps to and fro, her jet black hair tied back away from her face;

away from her shoulders.

The curtain flaps again, she turns and I gasp, barely able to contain my

arched perch atop the courtyard wall.

Mom? I whisper, so low I can barely hear myself.

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She pauses, just for a moment, and peers out the window.

I flinch, tempted to flee, but dont.

She stops, inches forward and throws back the curtains; its her.

It.

IS.

Her.

Frosts had her all this time!

How many years now?

25?

30?

And shes been here, in LA, right under my nose?

Lydia? calls Frost, clamoring forward in his high leather boots as if he

can read my mind; or perhaps even Moms. Something wrong?

She lets loose the curtains as they billow once more.

Frost advances, cane in hand, the silver tip tap-tap-tapping across the tile

with every step.

There are French doors that face the courtyard and by the time hes

whipped them open he holds the cane aloft, heavy handle up over his head as

he slams it into Moms skull with a vengeance.

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I crouch, Bliss in hand, but by now the rest of the Zannibals have

followed, quietly urging Frost away.

He turns, and in a flash of freedom Mom looks my way, tired, sad, black

eyes begging me to leave, to save myself once again.

(Been there, Mom; done that not doing it again!)

I leap from the wall instead, landing on the nearest two Zannibals with a

vengeance, slicing through the tendons of ones arm, rendering it useless as he

flails at me impotently while I efficiently behead the second.

His head lands, face first, at Frosts feet.

Frost sees me, not recognizing me with all the new ink.

Theres not much time to get reacquainted anyway, since his Zannibal

reinforcements come hard and heavy.

They flank me, two by two, and Bliss gets a workout.

In minutes there are fingers and toes, arms and legs surrounding me; its

like a fort of dead limbs, gradually rising to my knees.

Zannibals stagger or crawl, limping off in the wrong direction or groping

for me with two fingers attached to a severed arm.

Im not saying its easy, but I have Bliss on my side; and vengeance.

And still they come, one by one, as I crouch and juke and jive and flit

about.

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I can feel Bliss growing dull from all the slicing of bone and tendons and

thick Zannibal hide; its like an eight-hour shift at a slaughterhouse.

When I have a few moments to look at anything but another rushing

Zannibal coming my way with froth on his lips and rage in his dead, black

eyes, I see Frost staying true to his name; observing everything coolly,

watching me, wondering who I am and what Im doing here.

I dont see Mom, but then Ive got my eyes and hands full at the

moment.

At last there are only a few Zannibals left, giant men in all black whove

been watching carefully from the sides.

They advance, not two by two where theyre manageable, but four at a

time.

Im good, but not that good.

I crawl and I clamor, using limbs and headless bodies to scale the

courtyard wall.

The remaining Zannibals try to follow but theyre huge, and its a

challenge.

While theyre trying I pick them off, one by one, Bliss slicing through

shoulders and knee caps until more Zannibals stack like cordwood at my feet.

Then I see Frost smile, at something; not me.

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I turn to follow his eye and hear him before I see him, Im sorry, Holly!

Im sorry!

Four more Zannibals surround Percy, who looks like theyve already

tried to pull him limb from limb.

He is limping between them, one eye black, nose bloody and bent, lips

puffy, shirt torn.

Holly, is it? asks Frost as the Zannibals bring Percy straight to him.

So thats whos been turning my soldiers into cordwood? Always nice to put a

face with a name.

Percy is feisty and yanks himself free of one of the Zannibals.

Frost silences him with a swift slap across the jaw from the snowflake

end of his cane.

Percy yelps but remains defiant.

Its him, isnt it? he shouts up to me as I crouch on the wall, willing

his tongue to be still. The Casting Director who killed your

Another swift slap of the silver Snowflake silences Percy once and for

all; I hear the crack all the way on the courtyard wall.

Percy slumps to the courtyard tile as Frost eyes me scrupulously.

So its you Ive been hearing about for the last few years. Stopping my

boys from their nightly dinner?

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Theyre feeding on my friends, Frost, I spit, still angling atop the

courtyard wall and slightly out of the reach of his giant minions.

Who else should they feed one, Holly? You have such delicious,

anonymous friends.

They shouldnt be feeding on anyone; they should be feeding on things,

like other good monsters do.

Frost waves a gloved hand and seems distracted, until two more

Zannibals emerge from the mansion, each bearing one of Moms arms.

I gasp as she shakes her head, teeth gnashing as she tries to yank herself

free.

But theres something off about Moms arms; and legs.

I peer closer as they drag her into the pale moonlight and see why;

theyve been patched together, hand sewn almost, like Franken-Mom.

And not in a good way; its like Frost did a rush job, on purpose, to keep

Mom in her place.

To make sure she never saw the light of day or walked in public again.

Right then and there, I pledge to kill him; even if he takes me down with

him.

Holly! Mom gasps now that the cat is out of the bag, thanks to Percy.

Thank God youre alive!

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You too, I whimper, but Im not sure if she hears me.

It wouldnt matter anyway; Frost drags her close, she stumbles to her

knees and he leans down and says, Get her down here, Lydia, or Ill have to

kill you all over again.

I slip Bliss behind my back and drop, effortlessly, to the floor.

Within moments several Zannibals surround me; then several more.

They rip off my hoodie, tear apart my black yoga pants and find Bliss;

leaving me half-naked and defenseless.

My, my, says Frost, admiring the blade as he circles me. I dont know

which to be more impressed with; this switchblade or your artwork.

He touches the tip of the blade to each tattoo, peering closely with his

intense black eyes as I hear Percy grunt back to life behind me.

Holly! he gurgles before I hear the slap of skin on skin as a Zannibal

quickly silences him.

I turn but Frost uses Bliss to yank my face back to his; hes within reach

now, dark eyes alive as he leans forward and hisses, Im all you need to worry

about tonight, dear.

I smile and open my mouth to say something, whispering so lightly he

has to peer in just a little closer.

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The minute he does I head butt him, the sound of his nose cracking

against my forehead as Bliss clatters to the floor; I slip from the Zannibals and

snatch it just as Frost brings his cane down, hard.

I slice the ancient wood in half with Bliss, both pieces clattering to the

courtyard floor.

The Zannibals rush me but I have Bliss back now, cutting them down to

size one by one.

Then I hear a whimper, a reluctant groan of pain and turn to find Frost,

sticking the shattered end of his beloved cane in Moms ear.

One strong thrust from Frost and the jagged, wooden edge will pierce

her brain; and no amount of sewing will bring her back from something like

that.

Leave my men alone, Frost hisses, or this will be the last time you

see your mother alive again.

Leave my wife alone! shouts a surly voice from the darkness.

I smell gasoline and hear the faint flicker of something being ignited;

suddenly an arc of flame shoots from the top of the courtyard wall and engulfs

the three Zannibals to my side.

Their tough hide sizzles like dry firewood, engulfing them instantly in

their own sizzling, bubbling skin.

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I roll away from the heat, from the flame and stumble into the room

where Mom was pacing.

As the Zannibals run from the flames Dad leaps to the ground, his Army

surplus flame thrower strapped to his back and a fountain of flame shooting

from the nozzle in his old, trembling hands.

Frost crouches, literally shoving Mom and the other Zannibals in front of

him as he flees.

I follow instinctively, despite the fact that Frost could be setting a trap.

Still, from the look on his face, he seems too panicked to be planning

ahead.

Then again, Ive been wrong before.

Turns out, Im wrong this time, too.

Frost runs, just slow enough for me to keep up.

He is not like the other Zannibals; he is loose and limber and more like

me.

I wonder about that, but not for too long.

Too soon we are in a clearing surrounded by dense brush; another lonely

and desolate outcropping amidst some of the citys finest homes.

Even with millions of dollars of prime real estate all around, I know Im

too far away for anyone to hear me scream.

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Not that Id give Frost the satisfaction, of course.

Just at the edge of the clearing he pauses, looking left, then right; then

stops.

I stop, too, because suddenly I realize this is too easy.

He turns and smiles, leaning against a towering oak now that Ive

snapped his iconic cane in half.

I open my mouth to confront him when, out of nowhere, a giant hand

slaps me to the ground.

I land in dirt and dust and grab two hands full, turning around and

tossing it in a giant Zannibals face.

He sputters and spits and spins wildly, but hes not alone; three more

inch from the trees, each one bigger than the last.

Like Frost, these move more quickly than the rest; they seem smarter,

too.

Im barely able to scramble to a crouching position before one knees

from the left and another pile drives me from above; I land in a crunching pile

of bone and dirt and scamper, reaching for Bliss.

I find her, but too late; one of the Zannibals kicks her into a nearby tree

where she lands, her butterfly case quivering as it bobs up and down like

something out of a cartoon.

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One of the Zannibals tries stepping on my fingers but I yank them out

from under his steel-toed boots at the last minute, grabbing his ankle from

behind and literally ripping his Achilles tendon from the back of his leg.

He stumbles in the dirt and I leap onto his neck, snapping it as I duck

low to avoid another blow from the next Zannibal.

I roll away, reaching for my Bliss but stopping just a few inches too

short; I grab a small branch and snap it in half, holding it like Bliss and waiting

for the next Zannibal to lunge.

When he does I jab it into one ear; it sticks in halfway and, leaning up on

one foot, I kick it all the way in with the other.

Even I hear his brain pop from two feet away as he falls onto his side,

spasming as the remaining two watch him in awe.

I dont wait for the applause; I grab Bliss and grip her tight, the feel of

her handle comfortable in my palm as I slice off the fingers of one Zannibal

and the forearm of another.

And still they come, with no Frost in sight.

He has disappeared, and left me to deal with his henchmen.

By the time Ive left them lying in pieces next to their comrades, I can

only hear Frost crunching away in the dry underbrush.

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I follow in the general direction of his branch braking, but feel like Im

still too far behind.

Then I hear a rustle, a snap, a crack and someone or something

gurgling.

Mom! I gasp, but its not her thats gurgling.

Shes smiling as Frost turns, a branch about wrist thick sticking out of

his Adams apple.

Hurry, Holly! she urges as Frost reaches out and grabs her long,

graying hair.

She gasps but doesnt give up as Frost yanks her to the ground, still

dangerous until his brain is destroyed.

I lunge for him but miss by an inch, slicing only his fancy blue silk shirt

as he tries to stamp Mom out like a campfire.

I forget Bliss for a moment and reach for the end of the branch sticking

out just to the left of his spine; I yank it, turning him like a rudder and forcing

him away from Mom.

He lashes out with his closed fist and I hear something click in my ear;

by the time I look away Im on the ground, Bliss nowhere to be found and

Frost leering over me, pulling the branch from his throat.

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When hes done he holds it aloft, ready to bring it down over my head

when I hear a slice of steel on skin and watch when his neck disintegrates as

the weight of his head drags it clean off his body.

When his torso follows, I see Mom standing cockeyed behind him, Bliss

in hand!

Mom! I grunt, standing from the forest floor and embracing her

tightly.

Holly! she snuffles, unable to cry.

We embrace as the sound of more breaking branches and cracking

timber signal another round of Zannibals to deal with.

But flames flicker at the end of a flame thrower and Dad stands, staring

down at Frost and then Frosts head.

Dad? I question, but I know that look in his eyes.

With a simple flick of his wrist Dad lights Frost on fire, then his head,

then the rest of the Zannibals and their body parts.

Soon were standing around a pile of smoking, flickering Zannibals as

Percy emerges from the forest, wheezing as only a human can and dabbing his

eyes from the smoke.

Is that is that her? he asks, wiping his broken nose on one long

black sleeve.

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It is, I say, keeping her close. Can you believe it, Percy? After all

these years, Ive finally found her.

Mom clings close but offers a hand to Percy.

He takes it, smiling when her dry palm is cool to the touch.

Just like Hollys, he says, and finally Mom smiles.

Come on, Dad, I urge, yanking him away from the crackling pile of

cannibal zombies. Lets get out of here before the fire department comes!

He shrugs but turns, looking at Mom shyly out of the corner of his eye.

We walk out of the clearing until we find the nearest street, Dads flame

thrower still flickering in case anyone follows.

Mom limps next to me, our arms linked just as they were that fateful day

she led me into the hills and never came back.

How did you find us, Dad? I ask as he smiles, proudly, at last dousing

the flame and dumping the thrower in the woods as we climb, carefully, back

down to the constant sounds of Hollywood Boulevard.

All I had to do was follow Percy here, Holly. Hes not exactly a stealth

ninja, if you know what I mean.

But why, Dad? Why follow Percy at all?

He winks at me and says, I had a feeling tonight might be special,

Holly.

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How have you been, Herbert? Mom interrupts, linking arms with him

as well.

Herbert? snorts Percy as the old man shoots him the evil eye.

Turning to Mom he winks and says, As you can see, darlin, Holly and

I have had a rough time without you. But now that youre back, my dear;

things look a whole lot better!

I smile, and walk with my family toward our home.

The home where tattoos are mandatory and family is so important if

youre going to survive.

Now that mine is back together, the grimy street looks a whole lot

prettier, the smoggy air a lot more peaceful.

And just try to let anyone mess with that

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About the Authors:

Nick Pawluk & Rusty Fischer

Nick Pawlukis a Southern California native, born in East Los Angeles

and working in television production. He is an entrepreneur who has had many

successful businesses.

Nick is currently developing fun and exciting new iPhone and iPad game

applications through his company, Zombie Active Games. The first app

released by his company isHollyweird Zombies.

Rusty Fischer is the author of several YA supernatural novels, including

Zombies Dont Cry: A Living Dead Love Story (Medallion Press, 2011),

Ushers, Inc. (Decadent Publishing, 2011),Detention of the Living Dead

(Quake Books, 2012) and Vamplayers (Medallion Press, 2012).

Visit his blog, www.zombiesdontblog.blogspot.com, for news, reviews,

cover leaks, writing and publishing advice, book excerpts and more!
http://www.zombiesdontblog.blogspot.com/http://www.zombiesdontblog.blogspot.com/

the adventures of holly weird, zombie slayer

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