“the all new planet’s funniest animals”– show #601 – 1/2

“The All New Planet’s Funniest Animals”– Show #601 – 1/2 hour 11/16/05 Pg. 1

ACT 1(1)COLD OPENING (VTPB-SOT)

VTPB: COLD OPENING CLIP

A. 29712 – MAN RIDING HORSE GALLOPS INTO CAMERAMAN

ANNOUNCER VO

Tonight’s lost episode of “Fabrizio, Apprentice

Jockey” will not be seen so we can bring you

this special entertainment program.

INTRO: OPENING MONTAGE


(2)OPENING MONTAGE(Announcer V.O.)

VTPB: OPENING MONTAGEGRFX: LOGOMUSIC: UNDER

ANNOUNCER V.O.

Welcome to The All New Planet's Funniest

Animals…

starring the funniest animals on the planet.

So pull up a seat and get ready to meet…

America’s Most Wanted Animals Caught on

Tape…

Our Optimist/Pessimist Quiz… Is the dog half

in…or half out?

The premiere of the hottest new show in the

Animal Kingdom, Desperate Housepets…

Animals in the News with an unsuspecting

correspondent under attack…

And a young woman who speaks duckish.

Searching the planet… From Aardvarks to

Zebras and everything in between. It’s the

zaniest zoo on television, “The All New Planet’s

Funniest Animals”

and now, the host of our show…

Keegan-Michael Key.

INTO: INTRO THAT’S USING YOUR HEAD


(3)INTRO THAT’S USING YOUR HEAD(Keegan-Michael Key)

KEEGAN-MICHAEL

Welcome to the only show in Hollywood where

the stars are not currently on trial.

(BEAT)

Not only do people watch our show for the

funny animal clips, but they also tune in to

catch the latest fashion trends. Once again it’s

okay to wear fur… as long as it’s on your

head… oh yeah, and still alive.

INTO: (VTPB) - THAT’S USING YOUR HEAD


(4)THAT’S USING YOUR HEAD(VTPB [SOT])

VTPB (SOT): THAT’S USING YOUR HEAD

A. 30146 - CAT DOES TAI CHI W/WOMAN WHILE SITTING ON HER HEAD

KEEGAN-MICHAEL (V.O.)

In addition to impressing the Tai Chi class with

her extreme balance, she’ll also be the envy of

them all with this Yin-Yang kitty headpiece.

This Eastern philosophical kitty even helps

correct her form. Now let go, use the force.

Excellent.

B. 29683 - DOG SWIMS TO WOMAN IN SEA – CLIMBS ON HER HEAD - SHE WALKS OUT OF WATER


Wearing a hat into the water is always a good

way to shield sensitive scalps from the sun’s

powerful rays. For extra protection…

(DOG CLIMBS ON) let your dog help you out.

This dog has an SPF rating of 40.

C. 28391 - WOMAN PLAYING PIANO W/BLACK & WHITE CAT SITTING ON HER HEAD


Here’s a woman with a hat that matches her

piano keys, but just because she has a cat on

her head, doesn’t make her Cat Stevens.

(MORE)


(4) CONT’DVTPB: THAT’S USING YOUR HEAD(CONT’D)

D. 24989 – YOUNG PET SQUIRREL CLIMBS ALL OVER MAN & WOMAN IN KITCHEN


The squirrel toupee is great, it fools everybody,

it matches your natural hair color and drives the

chicks crazy. The only problem… keeping it on

your head.

E. 29698 - GOAT ON MANS BACK NIBBLES ON HIS BASEBALL CAP


Hey look at that old goat. (BEAT)

He appears to have some kind of animal on his

head.

INTO: INTRO DESPERATE HOUSE PETS


(5)INTRO DESPERATE HOUSE PETS(VTPB)

VTPB (SOT): DESPERATE HOUSE PETSA. 20040 – BLACK DOG CHASING SPRINKLERS

B. 27864 – FAT ENGLISH BULLDOG SITTING UP IN GRASS, ROCKS BACK & FORTH TO SCRATCH HER BUTT AS SHE STICKS HER TONGUE OUT

C. 27857 – BLACK & WHITE DOG AGGRESIVELY DOG ATTACKS SPRINKLERS

D. 31166 – DOG DRIVING TRACTOR AROUND FARM W/3 KIDS IN TOW

E. 21893 – DOG TURNS, SPINS IN CIRCLES AS THE CAR LEAVES

F. 25523 – DOG SWIMMING IN POOL – DOG IN KIDDIE POOL TRYING TO SWIM WHILE STANDING

ANNOUNCER V.O.

Ah suburbia. Well-manicured lawns, chain link

fences and backyard pools. But might they all

just be masking the lives of “Desperate House

Pets.”

GRAPHIC: “DESPERATE HOUSE PETS”

INTO: (VTPB) – DESPERATE HOUSE PETS


(6)DESPERATE HOUSE PETS(VTPB [SOT])

VTPB (SOT): DESPERATE HOUSE PETS

A. EXTERIOR SHOT OF PEACEFUL SUBURBAN NEIGHBORHOOD

B. 30054 - PERSISTENT SEAGULL WHO VISITS DAILY FOR FOOD, BANGS ON GLASS DOOR IN ACCORDANCE WITH ITS FEEDING SCHEDULE

ANNOUNCER V.O.

Things started to heat up on Wisteria Lane

when Tiffany decided to pay an unexpected

visit to her boyfriend, Phil.

C. 27942 - MAN & YELLOW LAB DOG LAY ON BACKS, BESIDE EACH OTHER ON BED

ANNOUNCER V.O.

As it turns out, Phil was making a new friend of

his own.

D. 30054 - PERSISTENT SEAGULL WHO VISITS DAILY FOR FOOD, BANGS ON GLASS DOOR IN ACCORDANCE WITH ITS FEEDING SCHEDULE

E. 27942 - MAN & YELLOW LAB DOG LAY ON BACKS, BESIDE EACH OTHER ON BED (REPEAT)

ANNOUNCER V.O.

If Tiffany finds out what’s going on in the

bedroom,

F. 30054 - PERSISTENT SEAGULL WHO VISITS DAILY FOR FOOD, BANGS ON GLASS DOOR IN ACCORDANCE WITH ITS FEEDING SCHEDULE (REPEAT)

ANNOUNCER V.O.

it’s going to get ugly.

(MORE)


(6) CONT’DVTPB: DESPERATE HOUSE PETS(CONT’D)

G. 27942 - MAN & YELLOW LAB DOG LAY ON BACKS, BESIDE EACH OTHER ON BED (REPEAT)

ANNOUNCER V.O.

In the meantime…

H. 25960 - FERRET WRESTLING WITH DOG

ANNOUNCER V.O.

…Klaus was putting the moves on that little

weasel down the street.

That is until the little weasel’s husband got

home.

I. 21888 – TABBY KITTEN SLEEPING, NURSING

ANNOUNCER V.O.

Meanwhile, Maria was asleep and having that

same recurring nightmare…

J. 29658 – GARFIELD, THE CUTE ORANGE TABBY SUCKLES ON LITTLE GIRL’S CHIN

ANNOUNCER V.O.

…you know, the one where she’s eating a

child’s face.

(MORE)



K. 20120 – GARFIELD THE CAT EATING ROSE SITTING IN A VASE

ANNOUNCER V.O.

Awakening from her dream, Maria decided to

find out if Brad had feelings for her. He loves

me… he loves me not. He loves me… he

loves me not. (BEAT)

He loves her not because Brad…

L. 30082 - DOG AND VACUUM CLEANER

ANNOUNCER V.O.

Found something else to suck face with.

Tune in next time and find out if…

M. 30054 - PERSISTENT SEAGULL WHO VISITS DAILY FOR FOOD, BANGS ON GLASS DOOR IN ACCORDANCE WITH ITS FEEDING SCHEDULE (REPEAT)

ANNOUNCER V.O.

Tiffany discovers Phil’s romp in the sheets.

N. 20251 - FERRET WRESTLING WITH DOG (REPEAT)

ANNOUNCER V.O.

Will Klaus ever win over that little weasel?(MORE)



O. 30082 - DOG AND VACUUM CLEANER (REPEAT)

ANNOUNCER V.O.

Will Brad ever learn there’s more to a

relationship than just physical attraction?

P. 29658 – GARFIELD, THE CUTE ORANGE TABBY SUCKLES ON LITTLE GIRL’S CHIN (REPEAT)

ANNOUNCER V.O.

And can Maria stop that nightmare? All this

and more…

On the next “Desperate House Pets.”

INTO: INTRO QUICK HIT #1


(7)INTRO QUICK HIT #1(Keegan-Michael Key)

KEEGAN-MICHAEL

Right now we’re going to the gold medal round

of the Couples Competition live from the

Equestrian Center.

.

INTO: (VTPB) – QUICK HIT #1


(8) QUICK HIT #1 (VTPB [SOT])

VTPB (SOT): QUICK HIT #1

A. 30689 – HORSE ACROBATIC: MAN FALLS ON FACE


Here the Uzbekistan team of Nadia Chipinski

and Uri Nepsenoff are wrapping up the

freestyle competition. So far their routine has

been flawless.

It’s their competition to lose as Nadia prepares

for her dismount.

Oh, that’s gonna cost them some points.

It all now rests in the hands of Uri.

He’s in position… Do you believe in miracles?

Somewhere horses whinny, and somewhere

children shout, but there is no joy in

Uzbekistan… Mighty Uri’s been knocked out.

By the way, Uzbekistan is worth over 6

thousand points in Scrabble.

INTO: INTRO ANIMAL HELPERS


(9)INTRO ANIMAL HELPERS(Keegan-Michael Key)

KEEGAN-MICHAEL

Not only are dogs man’s best friend, but they’re

often man’s best employee. You’ve got your

police dogs, seeing eye dogs, medical assist

dogs, guard dogs. But not all dogs get the

good gigs.

INTO: (VTPB) – ANIMAL HELPERS


(10)ANIMAL HELPERS(VTPB [SOT])

VTPB (SOT): ANIMAL HELPERS

A. 22418 - DOG LICKS SLIDING DOORS – THEN SMILES


Here’s a dog that washes windows. This isn’t a

fulltime thing. He’s just working his way

through obedience school. Hey, you missed a

spot. A lot of people don’t know this, but dog

saliva doesn’t streak.

B. 29913 – A BABY REGURGITATES & A DOG LICKS THE BABY CLEAN


Dog’s don’t just do windows. They’ll lick your

dishes clean, they’ll lick your floors clean,

and…they’ll even lick your baby clean. The

good news – baby drool is on the Atkins Diet.

C. 27889 – WELL TRAINED BLACK LAB FETCHES: BEER FROM FRIDGE, PRETZELS FROM PANTRY, NEWSPAPER, PHONE, REMOTE, TISSUE BOX, SLIPPERS FROM UPSTAIRS, PUTS EMPTY BEER BOTTLE IN TRASH


So, if babies aren’t your dog’s thing, maybe

landing a job as a personal assistant is right for

him.

This dog is so proficient around the house, this

guy hasn’t even noticed his wife left him three

months ago… and took the kids. (MORE)


(10) CONT’DVTPB: ANIMAL HELPERS(CONT’D)

D. 25483 – GOAT (DOG) GETS OWNER TISSUE & TOSSES IT AWAY


Let’s face it: this job blows!

E. 30066 - DOG TAKES ICE OUT OF THE WAY


This entrepreneurial pooch owns his own mini

mart. Here he is outside gathering ice for the

Slushie Machine. Between you and me, don’t

order the yellow flavor.

F. 20208 - DOG WALKS ON HIND LEGS IN POOL HALL/MEETS ELVIS


Some dogs make honest livings…while others

are just hustlers. Here, Fast Eddie racks his

own balls while waiting for an easy mark. He

usually goes two bucks a ball. Ya’ know, just to

make it interesting. The only question is,

where does he keep his quarters?

G. 30075 - DOG SWEEPS THE GRASS


Event though this dog can’t tell the difference

between a broom and a rake, his uncle got him

a job as a groundskeeper. Proving once

again… It’s not what you know, it’s who you

know.

INTO: TOSS TO COMMERCIAL #1


(11)TOSS TO COM’L #1(Keegan-Michael Key)

KEEGAN-MICHAEL

All our pets are housebroken and trained…but

the director’s a little worried that I’m not. So

give me a minute and we’ll be right back.

INTO: TEASE—SHOW BUMPER #1


(12)TEASE—SHOW BUMPER #1(VTPB [SOT])(Announcer V.O.)

GRFX: LOGO

VTPB: LOGO

MUSIC

ANNOUNCER V.O.

Coming up,

A chicken who likes to goose-step to his own

beat…

A dog that's sort of in between things…

And a morning run that gets to be a real drag…

When we return to The All New Planet's

Funniest Animals.

INTO: COMMERCIAL #1


(13)COMMERCIAL #1BLACK SLUG

COMMERCIAL #1

INTO: REJOIN/TITLE BUMPER


ACT 2(14)REJOIN/TITLE BUMPER

GRFX:

MUSIC

INTO: INTRO STUCK


(15)INTRO STUCK(Keegan-Michael Key)

KEEGAN-MICHAEL

I hate being stuck… so far today I was stuck in

traffic… stuck in the elevator… and stuck with a

two hundred dollar dinner bill. And it was at a

99 cent buffet. (beat) Anyway, here are some

animals that are stuck in situations… not nearly

as bad as mine.

INTO: (VTPB) – STUCK


(16)STUCK(VTPB [SOT])

VTPB (SOT): STUCK

A. 29773 – A DOG GETS STUCK IN CAT FLAP


Here’s the world’s smallest doggie door and the

world’s second smallest doggie. (BEAT) Every

time this little guy wants a drink of water he has

to re-experience puppy birth.

B. 27894 - RACCOON CAN’T SQUEEZE BETWEEN WOOD STAIR BANISTER IN HOUSE BECAUSE OF ITS FATT BUTT


Before the holidays Rocco was able to make it

all the way through with ease. Uh – oh. (CAM

PANS AROUND BACK) All the vertical stripes

in the world can’t make that butt any smaller.

C. 28461 – A WOMAN IS RUNNING NEXT TO ICELAND PONY. SHE TRIPS & FALLS & IS DRAGGED AFTER THE HORSE


Look at the bond between these two.

Wild horses couldn’t drag them apart.

What did I tell ya?

(MORE)


(16) CONT’DVTPB: STUCK(CONT’D)

D. 30136 – CAT INSIDE A BOTTLE


Ever see one of those teeny, tiny ships in a bottle?

Well, this cat just saw a teeny, tiny ship in

there, and the teeny, tiny people on the ship

were fishing, and they caught a teeny, tiny fish

and the cat wants it. Simple as that.

E. 29596 – GOLDEN LAB ESCAPES FROM KITCHEN OVER THE BABY GATE & GETS STUCK AS HE TRIES TO GET OVER IT


Remember to bring your pet in to be spade or

neutered… or you could just buy a baby gate.

F. 29481 - YOUNG POLAR BEAR DIVES INTO HOLE OF ICE & GETS STUCK WITH BUTT IN THE AIR


This polar bear will do anything to get a laugh.

Even if it means being the butt of the jokes.

Unfortunately mom doesn’t want him to go into

show business and hates when he shows his

bare behind.

INTO: INTRO ANI-MAIL (PART 1)


(17)INTRO ANI-MAIL (PART 1-A)(Keegan-Michael Key)

KEEGAN-MICHAEL

Well, it’s time once again to check our mailbag.

INTO: (VTPB) – ANI-MAIL (PART 1)


(18)ANI-MAIL (PART 1-B)(VTPB [SOT])

GRFX: ANI-MAIL!

VTPB: ANIMALS PLAYING W/COMPUTERS-KEYBOARDS, MONITORS, ETC.

MUSIC: ANI-MAIL THEME SONG


INTO: INTRO ANI-MAIL (PART 2)


(19)INTRO ANI-MAIL (PART 2-A)_(Keegan-Michael Key)

KEEGAN-MICHAEL

Here’s a letter that reads…

“Dear Keegan,

My grandfather recently had knee replacement

surgery. The operation was a tremendous

success and although he’d been cooped up for

quite a while, he’s now scratching around the

backyard like a man half his age. My question

is this, can you tell me where the doctors get

the knees they use for this procedure?” Just

curious,

Ryan Collins –

Cracked Knuckle, Alabama.

Wow, Ryan, I’m glad to hear everything went

well with gramps.

INTO: (VTPB) – ANI-MAIL (PART 2)


(20)ANI-MAIL (PART 2-B)(VTPB [SOT])

VTPB (SOT): ANI-MAIL (PART 2)

A. 17173 – FLAMINGO DANCES

KEEGAN-MICHAEL VO

Originally knees were donated from pink

flamingos, but as it turned out, their knees bent

the wrong way.

B. 27944 – A HEN WITH A FUN WALK

KEEGAN-MICHAEL VO

These days, knees are donated from generous

chickens all across the United States who as it

turns out, seems to get around just fine without

them.

INTO: INTRO CAUGHT ON TAPE


(21)INTRO CAUGHT ON TAPE(Keegan-Michael Key)

KEEGAN-MICHAEL

I’m KEEGAN-MICHAEL KEY and welcome to

“America’s Most Wanted Animals,” so far,

thanks to your phone calls, we have captured

three fugitive house pets and countless others

doing unthinkable acts.

We never really know what our pets do in the

house when we are gone. They might sleep all

day, watch TV or maybe even have wild parties

with the other pets from the neighborhood. It

makes you wonder. Leonard and Michelle

Thompson of Labuddah, Tennessee wondered

why their goldfish kept disappearing. The local

authorities rounded up the usual suspects, but

even under brutal interrogation, no one would

confess. So we set up our spy cam to catch

the culprit in the act.

The Thompson’s were shocked to discover the

culprit was Mister Jingles, their 7 year old

housecat.

INTO: (VTPB) – CAUGHT ON TAPE


(22)CAUGHT ON TAPE(VTPB [SOT])

VTPB (SOT): CAUGHT ON TAPE

A. 29621 – BASIL, THE CAT LOVES TO FLUSH TOILET & WATCH THE WATER SWIRL. BASIL LIKES A CLEAN BOWL BEFORE HE LICKS IT. HE DOES THIS REPEATEDLY.


This video clearly shows Jingles trying to

dispose of the goldfish by using the guest

bathroom.

Thanks to their evidence local law enforcement

could move in and now Mister Jingles is

flushing in a four by seven cell.

Mr. Jingles scam is down the drain.

GRFX: CAUGHT ON TAPE

INTO: TOSS TO COMMERCIAL #2


(23)TOSS TO COM’L #2(KEEGAN-MICHAEL KEY)

KEEGAN-MICHAEL

If jellyfish are made up of 95% water, I’m

guessing the other 5% is boysenberry jam.

We’ll be right back.




GRFX: LOGO

VTPB: LOGO

MUSIC

ANNOUNCER V.O.

Coming up,

A news reporter, under attack, loses her

composure…

And a young woman who talks to the animals…


Funniest Animals.


INTO: COMMERCIAL #2



COMMERCIAL #2




GRFX:

MUSIC

INTO: INTRO PHOTOS - ANIMALS IN THE NEWS


ACT 4(27)INTRO PHOTOS - ANIMALS IN THE NEWS(Keegan-Michael Key)

ANNOUNCER VO (FAUX JAMES EARL JONES)

It’s time once again Animals in the News

report. (BEAT)

With anchorman, KEEGAN-MICHAEL KEY.

KEEGAN-MICHAEL

Welcome, and here now the news…

INTO: (VTPB) PHOTOS - ANIMALS IN THE NEWS


(28)PHOTOS - ANIMALS IN THE NEWS(Keegan-Michael Key)

A. 30321 – SINGING LEOPARDS

KEEGAN-MICHAEL

With the success of “American Idol,” a major

TV network has decided to produce an animal

version of the show. Here, a sexy singing

group calling themselves “The Real Cheetah

Girls” warm up before the audition. Producers

expect the show to go through the roof due to

the singing talent, the beauty of the animals

and the fact that a contestant may very well

maul and eat Simon Cowell.

B. 30240 - RAM GETTING SOME SHADE AND A TAN

KEEGAN-MICHAEL

Ovine Optics, a Sylmar, California company

that, oddly enough, only designs eyewear for

Big Horn Sheep, unveiled its latest line of

sunglasses this week. Whether you are head

butting in the Rocky Mountains or just kicking

back and checking out the ewes these Sheep

Shades will guarantee you are the coolest ram

of the herd.

(MORE)


(28) CONT’DPHOTOS - ANIMALS IN THE NEWS (CONT’D)

C. 30323– RAK MARAM A THAI ELEPHANT TRAINER, DEMONSTRATES CLOSE RELATIONSHIP WITH ELEPHANT BY PLACING HEAD IN ELEPHANTS MOUTH

KEEGAN-MICHAEL

Emily Aaron, the forgetful zookeeper of the

Serengeti Animal Refuge, still can’t find her

keys despite, as is evident here, having looked

literally everywhere for them. Anyone finding

Miss Aaron’s keys are urged to turn them into

the lost and found.

D. 30238 - BUDDY ON HIS FROG BIKE

KEEGAN-MICHAEL

Sturgis, South Dakota, long known as the

motorcycle capital of the world, welcomed a

group of amphibian enthusiasts for its Frog on

Hogs parade. Buddy, seen here on a vintage

police XL 883 Sportster, said he has dreamed

of this day ever since he was a tadpole.

(MORE)


(28) CONT’DPHOTOS - ANIMALS IN THE NEWS (CONT’D)

E. 30326 - CHIPMUNK W/ TRUMPET, “REVEILLE”

KEEGAN-MICHAEL

Camp Minniehonkatonka on beautiful Lake

Minniehonkatonka in, of all places,

Minniehonkatonka, New York, made history

this week by becoming the first sleep-away

camp run entirely by chipmunks. From the

moment the young campers are awakened by

this counselor’s soulful rendition of reveille they

spend their days authentically scampering,

climbing and foraging like pros. As the

Minniehonkatonka brochure exclaims, “To go to

any other camp would be nuts!”

INTO: INTRO FIELD REPORTER – ANIMALS IN THE NEWS


(29)INTRO FIELD REPORTER – ANIMALS IN THE NEWS(Keegan-Michael Key)

KEEGAN-MICHAEL

Interactive bird aviaries – where patrons get in,

touch and feed the birds – are all the rage in

zoos around the globe. Nesting with a group of

lories is our own crackerjack reporter Carol

Smillie. Let’s go there now.

INTO: (VTPB) – FIELD REPORTER – ANIMALS IN THE NEWS


(30)FIELD REPORTER – ANIMALS IN THE NEWS (VTPB [SOT])

VTPB (SOT): FIELD REPORTER – ANIMALS IN THE NEWS

A. 24266 – NEWSCASTER HAS TROUBLE W/BIRDS IN HER HAIR – AFRAID OF BIRDS

KEEGAN-MICHAEL (ON CAMERA/SPLIT)

Calm down Carol.

Come on Carol, focus.

Can you relax just a little. You’re acting as if the

birds are carrying thousands of parasites and

diseases or something.

I’ve seen embedded reporters in battle with

more composure.

INTO: WRAP FIELD/INTRO FEATURE STORY – ANIMALS IN THE NEWS


(31)WRAP FIELD/ INTRO FEATURE STORY – ANIMALS IN THE NEWS(Keegan-Michael Key)

KEEGAN-MICHAEL

Well, I guess we sent the wrong reporter to

cover that story. (BEAT)

And now for our feature of the day.

A young woman in Little Walthampton-Shire

England is claiming to be the long lost daughter

of Dr. John Doolittle.

INTO: (VTPB) – FEATURE STORY – ANIMALS IN THE NEWS


(32)FEATURE STORY – ANIMALS IN THE NEWS (VTPB [SOT])

VTPB (SOT): FEATURE STORY – ANIMALS IN THE NEWS

A. 30222 – TALKING W/GEESE – EVERYBODY KNOWS THE ‘HORSE WHISPERER.’ A HEART-WARMING PLOT… TO FIND OUT THE SECRET OF HENNISH, GOOSEISH & DUCKISH


While waiting for DNA results that will prove her

heritage Delores Doolittle is doing exactly what

her daddy did… She is talking to animals.

And she joins us live, via satellite, from her

home in England.

Hello Delores. You know some people claim

that in addition to looking really stupid talking to

animals doesn’t work. How do you respond to

them?

GIRL RESPONDS….

So how many bird languages are there?

GIRL SAYING “FOR GOOSE YOU’VE GOT GOOSISH; FOR CHICKEN YOU’E GOT HENNISH; FOR DUCKS YOU HAVE DUCKISH.”

That’s funny…you don’t look duckish. Earlier

our cameras followed you around as you spoke

to some birds. Let’s take a look.

CLIPS OF HER SAYING: “HE’S SAYING THREAT BUT SHE’S SAYING EVERYTHING IS OK.” CONTINUES- GIRL SAYING “AND HE’S REPLYING.”CONTINUES- GIRL SAYING: “AND SHE’S SAYING SHUT-UP.”

(MORE)


(32) CONT’DFEATURE STORY - ANIMALS IN THE NEWS (CONT’D)


Well, I’m ready to learn, Delores. How would I

be able to tell a bird I was hungry and how

would they know I meant I wanted food and not

that I already had food?

GIRL EXPLAINING HOW TO SAY “I’M HUNGRY” & “I’VE GOT FOOD” IN BIRD TALK

Wait, I want to make sure I’ve got it. One more

time.

REPEAT THE SECOND HALF OF CLIP - “I’VE GOT FOOD” NOISE.

Delores, you may be the only person who can

answer this age old question. Ready…What

came first, the chicken or the egg?

GIRL CLAIMING SHE WILL HAVE AN ENTIRE CONVERSATION W/ A CHICKEN.

INTO: FEATURE WRAP/TOSS TO COMMERCIAL #3


(33)FEATURE WRAP/ TOSS TO COM’L #3(KEEGAN-MICHAEL KEY)

KEEGAN-MICHAEL

Thank you, Senator.

Delores Doolittle, you get my vote anytime.

And that’s the animal news… straight from the

horse’s mouth.




GRFX: LOGO

VTPB: LOGO

MUSIC

ANNOUNCER V.O.

Coming up...

A horn tootin’ kid with a dog that hates music…


Funniest Animals.

INTO: COMMERCIAL #3



COMMERCIAL #3




GRFX:

MUSIC

INTO: INTRO SOLO CLIP


(37)INTRO SOLO CLIP(Keegan-Michael Key)

KEEGAN-MICHAEL

Music historians always bring up the fact that

Mozart composed his first symphony at the age

of four. While that is pretty impressive, I would

argue that it probably wasn’t his best work.

When was the last time you heard an orchestra

play “Mozart’s: Ode To Diaper Rash in C

Major?” But every prodigy has to start

somewhere. Like this little guy.

INTO: (VTPB) – SOLO CLIP


(38)SOLO CLIP(VTPB [SOT])

VTPB (SOT): SOLO CLIP

A. 30047 - LITTLE CHILD IS PLAYING ON A TOY TRUMPET. THE DOG SITTING NEXT TO THE CHILD HOWLS


OK, Dawg, let’s do a blues riff in B. Watch me

for the changes and try to keep up.

I’m feelin’ ya. A little pitchy in spots. But I’m

definitely feelin’ you.

Let’s try it again.

Sooner or later all bands part over creative

differences.

INTO: TAPE SOLICITATION


(39)TAPE SOLICITATION(Keegan-Michael Key)

KEEGAN-MICHAEL

How would you like a million dollars and a new

wardrobe? It is easy. Just send us a funny

video of your pet doing something hilarious and

if we use it, we’ll get you started on your way to

wealth and fashion by sending you a hundred

dollars and a “Planet’s Funniest Animals” t-

shirt. Just take the hundred bucks to Vegas,

wearing our t-shirt for luck, and bet on

something with 10,000 to one odds. If you win:

you’ve got a million bucks. If you lose: at least

they didn’t get the t-shirt off your back. Send

your funny stuff to:

INTO: SOLICITATION ADDRESS


(40)SOLICITATION ADDRESS (Announcer VO)

GRFX: LOGO/ADDRESS

ANNOUNCER VO

The Planet’s Funniest Animals

P.O. Box 2904

Toluca Lake, CA 91610-0904

Make sure no animals were harmed in the

making of your video and please include your

phone number.

Remember, if we use your tape, we’ll send you

a hundred bucks and a “Planet’s Funniest

Animals” tee shirt.

INTO: GOODBYE


/ CREDITS


(41)GOODBYE / CREDITS

KEEGAN-MICHAEL

Think of the past hour as an animal version of

”The Apprentice” except no one got fired.

Goodbye, everybody.

# # #

“the all new planet’s funniest animals”– show #601 – 1/2

Documents

new planets funniest

vtpb desperate house

head vtpb sot vtpb sot

vtpb thats

contd vtpb

pool dog

dog turns

head contd