the attributes of conversation

7/27/2019 The Attributes of Conversation

1/18

THEATTRIBUTES

OF

CONVERSATION


2/18

also by fisayo adeyeye:

a bible of apologies

noirandnostalgia.tumblr.comcopyrighted 2013


3/18

this is unimportant maybe

Eating ice cream with you on the roofof your house and

thinking that humans are such flimsy things.

The moon is a pupil-less orb aboe your mouth.!"m wondering why you didn"t stay away from me

when you found out how loud my brain was.

!"m wondering what chemistry ! concoctedwith my lips to make you stay.

#ou"re telling me about your day and!"m listening

but really thinking about how $and then! woke up$

can mean two different things%

if you"re talking about a nightmareor a dream.


4/18

formicidae

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

&ometimes ! don"t let it get to me.

! don"t sit up wonder how manyautobiographies your lips could write.

! sit up breathing breathing ! holdmy hand oer your mouth to see if you arebreathing too.

&ometimes ! watch the news until twele oruntil one or until maybe three.Tonight% there is something on onThe 'iscoery (hannel.

)nts hear by ibrations in the groundthrough their feet. )ntsdon"t hae lungs. They get air though holesin their heads.

! press my chest against your headand my heart listens to yourbrain beat.

! breathe into your ear and wonder ifit"s possible to fill your whole head

with o*ygen.


5/18

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

! felt you behind me and you lay yourneck into the crook of mines.

+orning.

! felt your hands around my bicepswondered how many fingerprints you wereleaing on my skin. ! remember the first coupleon my stomach and thinking% okay.&o !"e been coloni,ed.

! pick them off when you aren"t looking now

! only wear you in the simplest of ways.

#ou feel my arms weaken and you don"t smilelike your mouth forgot.


6/18

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

&omeone is on the phone and it is youre* loer but it"s your fatherand ! am a ealous pig.

#ou are slamming doors until ! come to my sensesuntil then we are breaking things.

! press two hands against the side ofmy head and breathe breathe and thinkof eeryone who eer loed you and feelmostly insignificant.


7/18

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

The suare root of si*ty three is you and meall the differing number of ways we could

fall apart.

!/m outside your door waiting for my mouthto say somethingbut it gets some lousy reception sometimes.

! watch the news until twele until oneyou let me in at maybe three.

#ou are curled up on your sidebreathing softly.

! dip my neck into the crook of yoursrun my fingertips along your back.Eery fingerprint you leae you lose!"m pretty sure ! do not wantto lose you.

! am here. ! hope that it is enough.

! hope that we are awake forthe autopsy.! wonder where your eyes go when! am kissing you sometimes.


8/18

!/m worried they are not actually with me.

ow do you kiss someone and still feel lonely

ow do you pull sentences from people andstill hae nothing left to say

!/e been so burrowed into your mouth !/m stilltalking like you do%!/m still finding comas on the end of your lips!/e neer een noticed before.

!/m still seeing pieces of salt on your teethfrom where you lapped open mouthedat the sea.


9/18

There is something about methat makes me want to be impressie to you

een though mathematically you don"t

make any sense.

#ou"re watching netfli* in your underwear.#ou say flowers always pray beforethey die.

hen !"m feeling like whateer ! make coffeeust so ! can hae something warm

in my hands.

#ou say you wish you could grab mines forthe ery same reason.


10/18

termitoidae

!.

etween the $!$ and $+$ ! found thehigh school diary inside your ribs.

#ou are fourteen and you are neer going toforget this.

e"s got hands like letter openers% pullinglanguage from your lips and reconstructing

dead ones

you feel old enough for anything.

#ou close your eyes while he makes shipsout of your skinand starts sailing to places that you can/t see.

!!.

#ou"re si*teen and you know when people leaethey leae foreer.

There is a fallen tree that looks like a placeyou grew up in you"re sitting on it

watching your father throw bags in the cab.

#ou tell yourself he looks backbecause he misses you already notbecause he feels guilty about sharing a home with peoplehe doesn"t think he understands.

#our mother stands in the window and says nothing


11/18

and she doesn"t een cry.

!!!.

#ou"re twenty and you know when people saythey"re leaing they neer really do.

e touches you and you think of all the reasonsto say sure and say sure% feeling old enough nowfor anything.

e asks you when to stop and you stay neer

you close your eyes imagine yourself floating away at seaand forget for a second the fossili,ed fault linesyour family left in you.

#ou remember yourself like a person whose skin is notperpetually adapting itself toadolescence.


12/18

! think there is nothing better than watching yourun your fingers through your hair.

There are only a couple people ! talk to who

can make my brain stop dying for a momentand ! think you/re one of them.

! think you are a sunflower! am photosynthesis sometimes.

There is a lipstick stain on the outside of your styrofoam cupand you hae no knowledge

about the way you leae things.

! pick the cup up and crush it between my fingertips.! want to keep it! don/t want to be weird.


13/18

The unierse isn/t returning my phone calls.! guess the silence is an answerunto itself.

!/m floating past 4upiterbut ! feel pretty insignificant right now.

! used to see all our conersation in binary.! used to feel eerything you said collapsingagainst my mouth like my bones seem to

when they are tired of standing up for me.

! put down the phone and it collapsed into nothinglike a dying star.

! wondered if ! would land somewhere nice.


14/18

! woke up and said $010010010010000001101100011011110111011001100101001000000111100101101111011101010000110100001010$and you said $what.$

)nd ! said neer mind.

! loe the feeling of you and is thata concept or is that real.! can listen to you breathe for hours.

! wonder what our cells would look likesuspended in infinity.

Three hundred gala*ies from now ! couldbe floating past a star shoutingyour name and you wouldn/t een hear it.


15/18

(an we say irl in real life

#ou say that makes you feel insecure! ask you why.

#ou say it ust does.

e eat pancakes in silence.

#ou wonder if we are anybody"s miracle.ow many realities we"d hae to go though till

we got to people like us.5nly worse.

!"m trying to deconstruct the way you say 6people7so ! don"t answer.

#ou say that we are walking billboardsfor precaution.

! wake up in middle of the night and stare at

the ceiling.! ask you why our bodies are always dying.

! hear you yawn ne*t to me in the dark.! feel your leg pressed into the spacebetween mines.

#ou tell me to go to sleep.


16/18

#ou tell me there is nothing scientificabout sadness.


17/18

!"m talking around a mouthful ofgraeyard.

&ometimes when ! want to sleep forten thousand days !

try to remember !"m not really going tochange eerything all in one go.

!"m always going to wake up and feel likean incalculable number of words hae diedin my throat.


18/18

8or you on a day where you find yourself saying all of the wrongthings.

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