the baby schedule ruler

8/14/2019 The Baby Schedule Ruler

1/144

THE BABY

SCHEDULE

RULER


2/144


3/144

THE BABYSCHEDULE

RULER

Dee Rule


4/144

Copyright 2008 by Dee Rule

All Rights Reserved

Dee Rule Publishers, New York

No part o this book may be copied or reproduced, transormed

or stored in any orm or manner including recording, retrievable system,

or electronic storage without the authors written permission.

ISBN-13 978-0-9801261-0-5


5/144

Cntents

Testimonials 7

Acknowledgments 11

Introduction Why Start Your Baby on a Schedule? 13

Chapter 1 Why the Majority o Babies Ive Worked with

Sleep through the Night 19

Chapter 2 What Can a Baby Do or Its Parents? 27

Chapter 3 Creative Parental Imagination 33

Chapter 4 The Parental Persistence: Feeding Times andSchedule Formation 47

Chapter 5 Ways to Calm Down a Fussy Baby 61

Chapter 6 Proper Swaddling and Putting Baby

Down to Sleep Rule 73

Chapter 7 Baby Bath Ruler and Daily Activities 83

Chapter 8 The Baby Burping Ruler 93Chapter 9 Good Habits/Bad Habits Ruler 97

Chapter 10 Breasteeding Woes Cure Ruler and

the Daddy Blues Ruler 105

Conclusion 123

End Notes 129


6/144


7/144


8/144


9/144

The Baby Schedule Ruler 9

In short, we love Dee and would keep her til the kids

were o and married. But we know there are other babies

and moms out there who need her more than we do now.We recommend her to you with all our heart

Diane and David Sel

Screenwriter and Producer

She entered our home when we were completely raz-

zled and immediately brought order and serenity. Our

babies began to sleep longer and eat better through herintroduction o a more structured bedtime routine and

are now sleeping six hours at a stretch through the night.

As a new mother, I really appreciated her ability to be a

great source o expertise and help without being pushy or

controlling. Equally important, her presence allowed me

to get enough rest and recuperate much aster.

Sara Allan

It is with great pride and enthusiasm that we write a

letter o gratitude and appreciation in recognition o the

outstanding work.

Dr. Philip J. Weintraub

Internist and Cardiologist

Dee is one o the kindest, most wonderul people I haveever met. I trusted Dee Rule with the most precious trea-

sures, my children. I am endlessly grateul or all her help

and support.

Elizabeth Brady


10/144


11/144

11

Acnwledments

T

HE Baby Schedule Rulerprovides raw inormation or all

to use to help achieve a satisying lie with a newborn

or toddler. I thank Erinn and Oliver Hudson or theuse o baby Wilders photo or the cover design. About eighty

percent o this book was written in the nursery, in the dark on

my Palm Pilot phone.

I used a helpul editing network to deliver to all people

true insights and eelings without strict outside intererence.

Also, I wanted to keep the contents o the book secure. I didnt

want to risk great exposure o these techniques until the book

was completely published. My goal in writing this book is to

provide a simple and ast way or parents to eel comortable

taking care o their newborns.

Certain parts o The Baby Schedule Ruler, was written to

highlight or communicate to dierent social backgrounds. I

didnt want to leave out any type o liestyle living. It would be

so wrong to give more attention to a single parental idea.

It has become like a renewal o lie, and it gives me greatjoy to express some o these special moments. I hope you will

nd the inormation inside to be very powerul and exception-

ally helpul. I wanted to keep the fow o language as i I were

in your home working as your personal private-duty helper.

Thank you or welcoming me into your home and trusting my

crat and art.

I have the utmost respect or my celebrity clients and orall the good times weve spent together. I respect their lives

and honor their amilies. Also, all o my clients are stars in


12/144

12 Dee Rule

my heart meaning all amilies I took care o who are just like

you. Thank you or all your support and love. No inormation

inside speaks about my clients in any negative manner. Theyall have been wonderul and loving to me.

All o the three schedule divisions oThe Baby Schedule Ruler

are made to t in your lie. I you need to push an hour orward

or backward, please do so; The Baby Schedule Ruleris fexible or

your busy day.


13/144

13

Introduction

Why Start Yur Baby

n a Schedule?

I one eels the need o something grand, something in-

nite, something that makes one eel aware o God, one

need not go ar to nd it. I think that I see something

deeper, more innite, more eternal than the ocean in the

expression o the eyes o a little baby when it wakes inthe morning and coos or laughs because it sees the sun

shining on its cradle.

Vincent van Gogh

Ihave more than eighteen years o experience caring or

preemies, newborns, and children. Ive seen it all, but I

must say you can never stop learning how to make thingsbetter. For the amilies whose babies Ive taken care o, learn-

ing has become an art. I specialize in twins and triplets, and

Ive seen new perspectives in this area o childcare. By getting

involved in multiples cases, I took a massive and very impor-

tant turn in my proession. I have elt a strong elevation o

skills, love, respect, and insight that my hospital experience

could not have delivered. But working at a New York Hospitalhelped constructed a solid ground or me to leap rom and

growto go to the next level in inant care.


14/144

14 Dee Rule

Ive mastered my art. For so many years, Ive struggled and

ought to dissect my work.

I want to share with all people my advice or helping newparents release the stigma or judgment o others, Youre a

rst-time parent. Its not easy. I want to share with all people

my advice or helping parents who can or cannot aord my

private at-home services as an independent traveling baby

nurse to become, as Ive grown to become, an insider to their

newborns peace and a guardian o their babys ull and restul

sleep and happiness.

The best way to make children good is to make them

happy.

Oscar Wilde

Yes, you can be happy now by changing the way you take

care o your new baby or by incorporating a better way to

accomplish this. Just make sure when youve made up your

mind to do The Baby Schedule Rulerthat you know that you are

doing the best service you cannot only or your baby, but

also or your whole amily.

How do parents get through the day with their new

responsibilities? I will discuss the important things to do to

accomplish this main task. Parents will gain condence in

everything they do. I will express most o what is lacking ina lot o childcare books, and that is the insider knowledge. I

will share the wisdom and experience o being with newborn

single babies, twins, and triplets twenty-our hours a day, seven

days a week with only occasional breaks (two to three days o

a month, and sometimes just one day o a month, depending

on a amilys needs). Every amily and newborn is dierent,

and this dierence always requires a new way or me, the babynurse, to diagnose and adapt to the amilys needs. We all have

a unique liestyle. By writing The Baby Schedule Ruler, I can share


15/144


with all parents a way to go about their days according to their

liestyles. I want all people to view the schedules and practice

all the Baby Schedule Rulerchapters one diaper at a time and besuccessul!

We will develop proper skills like daily eeding times and

amounts, breasteeding, taking walks with your baby at least

once a day, activities, baths, massages, proper burping, and

most o all, scheduling. I will teach you the truth about being

exible with a babyand how to use fexibility or the advance-

ment o your child as well as how to be infexible and reap thesleep rewards. Its normal or babies to be ussy, and sometimes

the best eorts cannot work.

I you could live night and day in a babys world, you would

be astonished at its delicacy and surreality; to be a part o it

all will make you eel so blessed. Being here to learn all you

can to advance your awareness o your newborn is wonderul.

I you remain true to this road map, you will nd that like

many amilies, it will give you overwhelming success and peace

o mind. To all whove trusted my judgment and reaped all

the great benets that these skills provide, please know I have

loved your little one with all my heart and studied him or her

to the ullest to write and nish The Baby Schedule Ruler. Thank

you or listening with trust. To make this book possible, you are

the true rulers.

The one thing I ask o you is to read the book twice toenhance your understanding o some o these new techniques.

I also ask you to go out and teach these skills to loved ones,

riends, and amily. Also, I realize we understand more when

we express and show the type o care we want or our children.

People will not eel alienated because o the course o care

you hope to accomplish or your amily. Sometimes it can be

dicult to get people to see it your way. But its good to teachriends and amily all what you want them to understand.


16/144

16 Dee Rule

A book is a garden, an orchard, a storehouse, a party,

a company by the way, a counselor, a multitude o

counselors.Henry Ward Beecher

American politician (18131887)

I asked mysel the other day: who do you love? Without

the things and people I love, where would I be, how would

I live, and what job would I have? I would certainly eel very

depressed i I was separated rom the things I love, like musicand the arts, going to the Metropolitan Museum in New York,

being with riends, going to shows, reading a book, enjoying

the spa, singing my avorite songs, telling hysterical jokes to

riends, and creating something worthwhile. I asked, Who do

you love? to parents, took it to the streets o New York, and

charted the responses.

Most parents who have children in schools rom daycare

to high school answered that they loved their cars, homes, last

vacations, children, athers, pet Oscar, or simply themselves.

These answers were not so amazing, but what I noticed was the

order people gave me. Most o the parents (ve out o ten)

spoke o their children second, third, or ourth. This is not

to suggest they dont love their children, but what intrigued

me was that when a newborn has become a part o amilies

Ive worked or, theyve put their inants rst. Theyve told me,Dee, my child is rst and oremost in my lie, and everything

revolves around him. I wondered what could have possible

happened over the years or some parents to see things a little

dierently. Maybe they got tied up in all society wants every

day, the needs o loving something material, or just ollowing

a trend they see others ollowing like buying homes, cele-

brating with riends, or going to the blow out sale o the week.I thought o what happens to some new parents who put away


17/144


those things they loved to do requently beore their babies

were born.

The rst year o lie is ull o new adventures and activi-ties directed to the baby. We get comortable with our little

ones growing up, and we gradually begin to care about or

pay attention to those things we so used to love doing. What

in the world happens to un times and creative involvement

when a baby comes home rom the hospital? I have seen that

it almost comes to a stop in some amilies and causes much

hardship. But Ive witnessed that i we can combine the dailylove o things we enjoy doing, being a part o it all (society),

and getting creative ater just having a baby, we as humans can

certainly be happy again. This is the ountain o youthto

love onesel while being a parent, keep the mind moving to

improve, and to be the unique you.

Put on your best, look good, and keep up your hygiene.

Being a mother doesnt mean orgetting about yoursel. Look

good every day, not just when its important to wear makeup.

Even on a walk, let your hair blow in the air. Youre alive, not

about to be committed in the psychiatric department o a

hospital. No more complaints o not having timemake time.

Call a riend over or an hour, tell your amily to stop in, and

hit the shower, go to the spa, have a pedicure, and visit the hair

dresser and tell her youre having a good day. I personally love

the book Making Facesby Kevyn Aucoin. He teaches you howto be glamorous, because youre the only one that can create

a positive you. Oh yes, stop listening to horrible opinions rom

nosy people who need to mind their own business. We dont

need adult babies to host.

Putting on make-up is not the only way to look or eel posi-

tive, doing good deeds are ar more important. We can help

out our avorite charities or volunteer in our communities.This gives a great eeling o hope and purpose, a respect o

lie. Being handy to riends by listening and expressing your


18/144

18 Dee Rule

opinions sometimes can be stressul depending on the topic

but is also healing.

Keep those encouraging riends or amily around you.With all the dicult times youve endured, you need peace.

This peace can only start in your mind and around you. Taking

good care o yoursel is the same as taking good care o your

baby. Why would you want to treat yoursel worse than your

baby?


19/144

19

Chapter 1

Why the Majrity f

Babies Ie Wred with

Sleep thruh the Niht

The line between ailure and success is so ne that we

scarcely know when we pass it; so ne that we are oten on

the line and do not know it.

Elbert Hubbard

IvE worked or a lot o amilies who are very educated.

Success is a must. They are all celebrities and stars to

me. Ive lived their lives or a portion o time, residing in

homes o beauty, elegance, peace, and solitude.

What a time or themto embrace me when I walkedthrough their doors at almost the same time their newborns

arrived at home. For some o my clients, it was their rst child

and or some it was their second, third, or ourth. No matter

how many children they had, what was so dicult or all my

clients is letting me, Dee Rule, the baby nurse, inside rom

the outside. Ive arrived like the delivery o twins, but the big

dierence is that I am a stranger whom they can ask or adviceon inant and child care. What trust they have had in me to

deliver nothing but the best with respect to their amilies and


20/144


21/144


I realized that there was something dierent about my

approach to these babies and amilies that nobody else could

gure out. Thereore, I went about taking notes o my dailyand nightly lie with babies and saw how dierently I would

approach each amily. The reality that I deciphered was in the

applications and theories o patience and the step o converting

my liestyle to their liestyles. By doing these things, I all o

a sudden became like another newborn baby. By observing

the amilies as a child, I learned to come to some conclusions

about the way the baby wanted to live with its parents and theway these amilies could adapt to their newborns journey in

this world.

Many o my clients gave me huge bonuses and incentives

when the job was over. They even told me, You deserve more,

You should charge more, or Your worth is almost price-

less. But it was worth more to me to learn rom the amilies.

They taught me how to live and understand their liestyles

how they wanted to live and behave in their homes. With this

helpul knowledge, I wanted even more inormation on babies

with amilies and about everyones personalities and wants. It

gave me the willpower to see and be with more amilies and to

continue being the Baby Schedule Ruler.

This knowledge came rom within mysel as much as it

came rom the babies and their loved ones. Tapping into the

deep cares o my amilies amplied the joy o having a newamily addition. My amilies became less worried knowing that

I came to help them understand their little ones better. They

were patient with me and were so happy to hear my insights

and interpretations. All along I steered them to leap into this

new baby world by listening and see the results they craved, or

its almost a miracle to people to get to know their babies as

they grow.I believe babies hold a special git or mankind. This git is

deepness o need, want, care, comort, love, charity, and the


22/144


23/144


your baby, then you need to change the rules so they give the

response you want.

Put into practice these rules by scheduling, and you will behappy and satised with this new beginning.

Some proessionals cannot teach you about baby sched-

uling or having a routine or babies because they have not

lived or eighteen years with newborns, twins, and triplets,

observing their habits nonstop like I have. Some medical proes-

sionals preer to tell you something negative about scheduling

because they do not know how to direct you and your babyinto a routine; thereore, saying scheduling is not good gives

them a way out o trying to answer or their lack o exposure.

God orbid they might lose you as a client and the money they

will collect rom the insurance company or years o service to

you. However, there are many truthul people in the medical feld, and

we should all be grateul or their service.

Ive ound that successul people Ive worked or and other

dominating personalities in sports, science, the arts, politics,

business, theater, acting, and other innovative areas all have

achieved their goals in lie by setting rules that gave them a

positive eeling. Through these rules, they obtained greatness.

Success can never be achieved by having conficting rules. Ive

ound that by being persistent at practicing schedules and

enjoying the positive results, you can strengthen the amily

structure. At the end o all my jobs, I can only hope to obtainthis by leaving a happy, sleep-tight-at-night, loving baby.

Every amily is dierent and interprets things dierently,

just like their babies. I saw that these dierences detract rom

getting the babies to sleep in the night; these dierences gave

me the solutions o how to best manage, develop, and interpret

things in a way they could eel comortable without orceully

changing their visions o what they expected or wanted todo with the new amily addition. Here is my key to success. I

developed this key by constantly asking mysel, What i I was


24/144

24 Dee Rule

the baby? What would I need to happen during the days to

make me eel happy?" I would need a lot o patience rom

my parents; I would need sleep and ood. I would need loveand discipline in order to live in peace with everybody. I would

need a map, like The Baby Schedule Ruler.

Through the benets o the baby and amily ollowing

this advice, the amily entity becomes more solid. Mommy

and Daddy can have time or each other. They can return to

romantic moments, go on dates with one another, see a movie,

or go on an adventure, and when they return home, they knowthat they can sleep all night and love their little one in the

morning. The parents Ive worked or can tell by seeing what

time it is i it is time or the baby to eat or sleep. By knowing

the time through scheduling, the parents can organize their

business aairs, hair dresser appointments, gym workouts, rest

time, important phone conversations, grocery store visits, and

as a matter act, any type o visit or personal responsibility. Lie

continues at a manageable pace.

Through The Baby Schedule Ruler, I wanted to show all ami-

lies the path Ive taken to accomplish the goals that my past

amilies have achieved through my guidance o their parental

instincts. There was something very special about the hands-

on care I gave and the cooperation that I received rom my

amilies that was very important or me to write about. The

amilies were very pleased with the progress I made or themin establishing a routine so they could have some fexibility,

and it amazed them, their riends, and their amilies.

There are a ton o books on baby and child care, and they

were made with good intentions, but none can reveal the

consistent results Ive obtained. I always wonder how many o

these writers have lived in the homes o amilies or twenty-

our hours a day or months on end. I wonder how many othese experts sleep in a babys room to hear and respond to his

or her needs twenty-our hours a day. I guess that some are just


25/144


writing a book that serves the purpose o a reerence guide that

will help many amilies understand and correlate many o the

experiencesgood or badthat they are going through. Butmany cannot give a schedule that will get the results amilies

desire rom their little ones, like sleeping through the night

and gaining the right attention span to communicate or just

to look around and respond to all the stimuli the environment

contains. Giving more to the masses is my delight. I love to tell

everyone that there is a sound way to go about your day and be

happy with a new baby. This book is or youenjoy.Today I went to central park or my aternoon walk with

the baby. She was asleep, and I parked the stroller next to a

bench that another little baby and her mom sat on. We looked

at each other, and the mother said, What a cute baby. How

old is she?

I replied, Ten weeks old. And your little one?

She is ve months. Is your baby sleeping through the

night?" she asked.

She has slept all night long since she was eight weeks old,

I said. You could imagine her aceit was as i I were exag-

gerating. I continued, She goes down at 8:00 PM and doesnt

eed until six or seven in the morning. Her mouth hung open

like a whales. You would think she was going to bite a shark.

She wanted to know the secret, and I replied, With proper

routine night and day, you can achieve anything. The babybegan to uss a little, and I continued my walk. One week later,

the same mother saw my employer and mysel walking happily

in the park with the baby. She could not help hersel, and she

stopped us and introduced hersel.

Hi, Im Cassie. I met your baby about a week ago, she

said. Is it true your baby sleeps through the night?

Without a peep!" said my boss.This time without catching sharks in her jaw, she said,

What? Thats so nice!


26/144


27/144

Chapter 2

What Can a Baby D

fr Its Parents?

BABIES can give us a purposeto live a better lie. They

can put us onto the track o perection and help us

to become unselsh. Having a little one pulls us into

reality. We can really think o whats best rst. Situations are

resolved or the sake o the baby. Think o the joy you will eelwhen your baby comes home or the moment your doctor says

you have a boy or a girl. The key words are you have. Youre

a loving person. Just learn rom the baby.

A baby is here to help the parents see reality. The truth

through a babys eyes is so blunt and direct. It will hit hard and

should help make you the best you can be. I youre not ready

to be awakened to this truth, then dont start, because you willonly go backward in sel-development. You wont learn a thing.

You might be thinking, What do you mean?" A child is an

ospring o you and an inant has its own personality as well.

You have something like you with its own habits and wants to

deal with now. This is what it means to be a parent.

I just heard the announcer calling my fight to Los Angeles.I have to go, but I will continue on this critical topic.


28/144

28 Dee Rule

7:30 AM: I am on the plane. I just want to get a ew words

down beore takeo.

I realize as a parent you become less judgmental o other

peoples children. You possess more patience. Things that used

to bother youlike a crying baby on an airplane or children

playing loudly outside or insidewill not phase you anymore.

Driving a little more saely and a lot less recklessly is some-

thing that oten happens when a baby enters a amily and is

achieved in dierent ways. Some parents will put up a sign(Baby On Board or Drive Saely). We become more aware

o other peoples saety and our own. Parents will purchase

a bigger cara van or SUV in place o their small sedans

or major voyages. Some car manuacturers have even taken

advantage o the amily expansion trend. They did more or

parents by introducing new gadgets like rearview cameras so

you can see as you move your vehicle backward.

Its a good thing to have a baby around. Something has

happened to our thinking. We nally get itwere not teen-

agers anymore! Risky business will have to wait! What happened?

Did lightning strike? Maybe! Just maybe we needed a knockout

to realize its not only about us!

When you have a baby, youll also have a little more patience

with your ellow adults. At least or a while! Rushing to go out

the door is nearly impossible because getting through thatdoor to run errands takes a long time when you have a baby.

No matter how hard you try to be on time, time seems to move

aster than you realize. Its not all about you anymore. I can

attest to the act that mothers get to this point way aster than

athers, maybe because they carried the baby or nine months

as it grew inside the womb, its home. As the days and the weeks

pass by, mothers are always concerned about the baby. Is itgrowing properly, and how much does it weigh? Is it a boy or

a girl? Where is it located? Besides these constant questions,


29/144


mothers can eel the baby move inside themit can kick and

have a lot o hiccups.

Some dads go about their business without a physical,consistent, emotional attachment to the baby. The baby

doesnt send them to the bathroom constantly or move inside

them randomly. For nine months o growth in their mommies,

these babies dictated space and movement and spawned eel-

ings o curiosity like, what is the baby going to look like? Then

the baby arrives, and it becomes time or Daddy to start eeling

all o the growth pains. Silently they go through some depres-sion (but not all dads). It hits them almost like a tackle on the

ootball eld by the deensive linebacker. As athers become

conscious, reality becomes evident. The game is onget up

and win! The baby is here to be loved always. Watch it grow.

Participate and youll eel better. I am so happy that all o my

clients have connected with their babies rom conception. Its

important or all amily members to come and help out in

some way as well. Call them, and they will be very happy to do

something or you.

We get emotionally attached to our babies, leaving us a

small margin o error to mess up without pain. But pain allows

growth and rejuvenation o our minds. We then think o whats

best or the baby. We start asking ourselves i were doing things

right. Is there a better way to take care o him? Am I a good

parent? Sel analysis will take over our lives, pushing us to bebetterorcing us to grow up.

Historian Arnold Toynbee wrote In the Law o Challenge and

Response. He believed i civilization met a lie-threatening chal-

lenge and overcame it by using all o its greatest eorts, will,

zeal, or strength, we would advance our very lives and every-

thing around us. Trouble has a way o liting us up when we

take it on and overcome all obstacles by removing problemsand acting to solve them. When all is settled and at peace, our


30/144

30 Dee Rule

civilization will advance art, music, architecture, and all aspects

o lie.

Ive seen people write books on their troubles and howthey managed to come out o despair or depression. The

Greeks overcame the Persian Empire centuries ago and devel-

oped theater, philosophy, art, and crats. It made them better

people and an advancing race. They ought hard or many

years, and when it was all over, the most incredible things had

happened.

Let incredible things happen or your amily. Do not loveproblems, but nd ways to get out o them besides complaining

and being down. Be creative and your worries will heal. Having

a new baby helps us to see lie overfowing with opportunities

and hope o survival.

Ive seen the spirit grow up in new parents. And by spirit I

mean responsibility and the will to take note o other peoples

needs. The baby is this needy being who wants us to take

responsibility or it to grow up loved. Thats why peace and

love starts at home.

What i we became babies again; wouldnt we want the

same rom our parents? Its that deep look at things that will

bring about a reality check on lie. The newborn has brought

us much lie in bundles o awareness and carenot just or

the newborn but also or ourselves. Its the best chapter in our

lives.

Intuition in Action3:40 AM

I woke up and sensed something was wrong. I picked the

baby up and thought, This is not the same baby I let a day ago. Heis pale and seems dehydrated. I went to get the mother as I prayed


31/144


and said, We need to go to the hospital right now! She got

the car, and we called the pediatrician and proceeded toward

the hospital. The newborn was admitted or a month. Hisdoctors didnt know what was wrong in the beginning, but it

turned out to be an allergy problem. He could not have wheat

products, poultry, or dairy products.

Charlie is a twin and was born a preemie. We were lucky.

The mom had another set o twins that were eighteen months

old at the timethats no typing error, eighteen months old.

They had just moved to a new big home to accommodate alltheir needs. One morning, the mother said, I dont think hes

ready or circumcision. Take a look at him, Dee!" She didnt

know what brought her to say that. It was just a eeling she had.

I had just returned rom a day break when she told me this.

We had the Bris. The very next day we took him to the hospital

because he didnt look like the baby we knew so well. He was

pale and just not looking healthy. He drank well throughout

the day and previous night, but something just wasnt right.

Beore the ceremony, she asked the doctor to look at him

because he looked sick to her, but she believed we had nothing

to be worried about. He looks ne. Hes a preemie, and he

is ready or circumcision today. We had the circumcision and

went home. We trusted the doctor, but something was both-

ering us deeply. It bothered me, and I watched him careully

that night. I couldnt wait until the morning. He ate well, but Iwanted to see him in the morning sunlight that comes through

the window. Looking at him as the daylight refects o his ace

in the nursery, I said to the mother, Charlie is very sick. We

have to take him to the hospital. He had no ever and ate very

well. But that thing named intuition pricked at our guts like a

surgeons knie and kept on digging deeper. We thank God or

it, because Charlie overcame and is doing well.I am so grateul or the mother who was in tune to the

situation. Ater all, Charlie is her son. Whatever you want to


32/144

32 Dee Rule

call intuition, at least recognize that it is real. The existence

o this spirit is so underrated in our society. Schools should

teach more about this git. Its beyond common sense. There isnothing greater than a message that is right on. Denial might

delay its eectiveness. But doing what your soul eels can reap

better results than some educated intelligence.


33/144

33

Chapter 3

Creatie Parental

Imainatin

We dont like their sound, and guitar music is on the way

out.

Decca Recording Co.

Rejected the Beatles, 1962

WoRkINg as a baby nurse or all types o people

and cultures, Ive learned a tremendous amount

rom the parents Ive worked or. I would tell all

o my amilies that they are my greatest teachers. When I ex-

pressed this to them, they could never see the deep meaning

in what I said. I really meant this. I didnt just say it to show

them I am very humble and conscious o their likes and dis-likes while living in their home. I speak candidly about this be-

cause it has elevated me as a helper by allowing me to observe

the moment-by-moment decisions a parent o a newborn must

make day in and outat night, on weekends, with riends and

amily, while driving a car, or on vacations. Making decisions

in very cold emotional climates in the ace o strangers, am-

ily, and older children who dont want to share Mommys andDads attention is dicult.

A parent is the most powerul human being on this earth.


34/144

34 Dee Rule

They rule this universe and ll it with diversity, compassion,

patience, un, joy, and goals to accomplish. They are amazing!

They take on the responsibility o getting to know anotherhuman being who is usually made out o some portion o them-

selves. Its so miraculous or me to witness history repeating

itsel when Im called to be the contract baby nurse or a set

time period. The eeling is so good and to put this on paper

makes me quiver inside. I am so touched at this moment to

share this private eeling. It is this insight that has made me all

in love with what Ive been doing or a living all these years.The creativity in loving parents can solve some or all o

the daily problems in raising a baby. A baby can be ussy or

countless reasons, and the soothing cure is in your hands. O

course i you think that your little one is ill, then you must call

a medical proessional or help. Thats parenting! Be deeply

aware o strange behaviors in your child and never eel embar-

rassed to call or help.

The mind-bending evidence in this chapter is very deep

and real. Ive observed the acts over my eighteen-year career,

month ater month with parents o twins and triplets. What

Ive observed is that your child will usually like what you like.

Think o and write about all the things you love, enjoy, and

dream about, because you have made another human being

almost as perect as yoursel. He even looks like you or a amily

membermaybe your ather or mother. You, the parent, knowyour little one better than anybody. Teach yoursel to learn as

a child, starting with your newest amily member. Be a child!

Be a newborn!

Whats your denition o love? One thing I know is that

love starts with you!

Nobody can take care o your little one better than you

once you read and study these chapters and review the dierenttypes o daily activities you need to do to get through the day.

You can achieve sound sleep and still be connected to all o


35/144


your relationships with other people and yoursel. Your over-

whelming success will convince you and all those who thought

you could not be a good parent that you can be one.Maybe you or others thought or eared you would leave

all the parental work to the caregivera baby nurse, nanny,

or babysitter. They will be proved more than wrong when you

show the world, riends, and amily you learned to develop

creative parental imaginationto rise above ear and worries with

the help o your doctor, who will reassure you on the progress

o your childs development. As the weeks and months fy past, youll become stronger, aster, and more alert to changes in

your newborns behavior, and you will not be petried. You

know what to do and what you do you do extraordinarily better

than anyone else.

Success is oten provided by the exception to the rules

or success. People who have broken though color and

gender lines, class and culture bias, have done so despite

an array o reasons as to why they shouldnt de able to do

so. In this way, success may ultimately have more to do

with your own personality, ocus, and optimism than your

gender, race, or background. Put blinders on to those

things that conspire to hold you back, especially the ones

in your head. Guard your good mood. Listen to music

every day, joke, and love and read more or un Meryl Streep, actress

Dr. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi states in Creativity, Most o

us assume that artistsmusicians, writers, poets, painters

are strong on the antasy side, whereas scientists, politicians,

and businesspeople are realist. This may be true in terms o

day-to-day routine activities. But when a person begins to workcreatively, all bets are othe artist may be as much a realist as

the physicist, and the physicist as imaginative as the artist. He


36/144


37/144


the right o her. We t in the seat perectly. I didnt mind her

peculiar nature until her head began to lean on my shoulder.

I nudged her a little to make her aware o the closeness. She woke and apologized and went back to sleep. Once again I

became a pillow her conscious mind didnt see. Thats the great

power o touch! Here I was thinking she didnt want my leg to

touch hers, yet my shoulder came in handy. She then awoke

and apologized again. I smiled and said, No problem!

Some scientists have said Harry Harlow only discovered

what was common sense, but we all know common sense is nottoo common or some people. Its a git to be on a common

sense level with the world; not all people understand what

common sense is. All inants and children must be close to you

and emotionally connected to the care you give.

Give your child an emotionally warm experience. Enjoy any

creativity you have developed throughout the years o growing

up, going to elementary school, going to high school, and

attending college or through experience with comedy shows

youve watched and laughed at. Be expressive! Be yoursel! A

child wants to see you be you; then he can start being himsel.

You can tell the oundation o a house is strong by rst standing

on it. Showing that experience to your child rst will send the

emotional signal to your babya eeling o security wrapped

up in emotions so he will eel comortable to stand up and test

the houses oundation. Visual experiences can make a dier-ence or your child. Experience is a priceless teacher. Talk is

truly cheap sometimes!

No matter how many times you say no to toddlers, somehow

they will not obey unless they experience the meaning o no.

We hope they listen, but listening is a hard thing to expect

rom a toddler. I give a special name to toddlers; I call them

The First Human Innovators. They will take a risk and keepon risking until they have learned a better solution or a better


38/144

38 Dee Rule

way to do something (or until they gure out they just cant

do it!).

Youre the leader; go rst, and your child will ollow.Remember the game we played as children called Follow the

Leader? The leader perorms rst and all the kids must do

whatever the leader is doing. I he puts his hands on top o his

head, then all must ollow. Those who dont will be out o the

game. Do what you would preer your little one to take, and

he/she will ollow your movements. I you dont move, he/she

will ollow that too.In The Naked Truth, Desmond Morris strongly expresses,

The naked ape is a teaching ape. As humans, we learn by

practicing or taking the direction o another. We gather all the

aspects we want to learn, learn them to the ullest, and perect

them to our own taste or sense o style. Humans can be taught

anything and grow at a rapid pace. He Morris states, We

acquire quickly by ollowing the example o our parents.

As we get older and, I hope, wiser, it is to our benet to lit

our souls upward into creativity and not hesitate advance the

spirit we inherit. We can develop the spirit weve passed on to

our children. Convince yoursel that you are the best parent.

Tell others o the great advancement your little one has made,

whether it is communicating better with you, reaching or

objects sooner than other children his age, rolling over, or

giggling at an early age.Being creative can get rid o ear and low sel-esteem. All

people can benets rom this. It must be put into practice.

There are benets o the parent taking charge creatively. To

me, to be called a parent doesnt mean that you are genetically

attached to the baby; it means you understand and take care

o your little ones needs on a creative plane. It means evolving

and expanding into the depths o a new beings mind. It meanslearning to use the right distraction, touch, speech, or song to

awaken our senses. It means to know the right time to rerame


39/144


and go orward, to love and let go. I love these parents who just

love their little one or being unique and ull o art. Parents

can keep up with the involvement o their baby.Maybe you think you are not creative, that your mind

cannot think o dierent things to enjoy. Please take note

o the things you dream about and then make these dreams

come true with your little one. For example, i you enjoy opera,

mimic the sounds o Plcido Domingo and Luciano Pavarotti,

do the hand gestures, and imitate the enjoyment o being the

entertainer. Clap your hands in applause, and the baby willrespond in some way to the new action you are displaying.

I saw a documentary on MSNBC called Lock Up: San Quentin,

which is a state prison or the worst criminals. These people

have limited resources and do not have enough space to move

around or to construct anything that comes into their minds.

Everyday materials are not accessible. In these very small

spaces, one inmate created miniature bicycles or display out

o soap, toilet paper, oil, and water. Others have developed a

hobby o making fowers out o toilet paper or Mothers Day

cards. Two inmates got to play chess every day because they

created chess pieces out o Kool-Aid, a piece o tissue paper,

and water. All they wanted to accomplish was to keep them-

selves busy until it was time to be paroledthey were serving

ve years, twenty-two years to lie, orty-ve years to lie, or

other long sentences. Some began to love tennis and taughtthis sport that they normally would not have played when they

were out on the streets being criminals. These criminals ound

ways out o boredom to help speed up the everyday conne-

ment. As one inmate put it, You have to keep busy or youll

go crazy.

One guy loved to paint murals on the wall. He got in touch

with art inside o him and got out o touch with the enemy (thecriminal) within that brought him there. How did he paint

the murals in his cell without a paintbrush? He clipped o


40/144


41/144


least once a day or some period o time. Why is it important

or inants or children to have a little time in the day or inde-

pendent play? Having your little one simply sitting in the chairalone or in a play gym helps builds the oundation o their

constructive interpretive mind. Let her play alone until she

calls you with a squawk. The most powerul thing a human

possesses is the imagination. Being alone can kick it in. You

will see a very bright personality coming out o your baby. She

will seem to become highly active in what she is paying atten-

tion to. Try it and see. It is an eye-opening experience.Today is a great time to be a dad. Many dads are working

rom home and getting more daily hours to play and just cuddle

up with their children. In, My Dad, American Inventor, in

the New York Timeson August 16, 2007, Stephanie Rosenbloom

showed how dierent dads are dealing with getting through

the day with their amilies. Dads are around the home and

amily much longer than at any time in history. Its great to see

strong dad involvement. Through long days and nights being

home spending time with their children, these dads began to

see how they can make things better.

One dad, Mr. Bacon, mentioned in the article invented a

car seat adaptor that hooks onto the rolling luggage people

carry when traveling. This all came about because he wondered

i there could be a better way to transport his child through

the airport and help ree up his wie rom pushing a stroller.Mr. Bacon began to sell his Tote Totthe car seat adaptor

or luggage. We as a society change because we look or what

people need. We improve our daily lives because we can change

our situation through solving problems using imagination and

creativity. This happens through a simple thought. I we eel

passionate enough about our cause, to our surprise, we can

oten nd the solution to the problem. I Mr. Bacon had notbeen involved with his amilys needs every day and had just

gone along that day without any thought o making lie better,


42/144

42 Dee Rule

he might not have discovered this useul adaptor or not just

his amily to use but also or all amilies. You can go to www.

toteatot.comto get this magnicent adaptor.Babies can copy all our gestures, speech, diction, walks,

and singing tones by putting their own images together inter-

pret their parents and amily members. Free yoursel rom the

cant door the cannot be donevoices o people around you but

inherit the attitude that you can do all things and be successul

always. Repeat the positive and disregard all negative. All good

creativity is brought about through positive thoughts o lettingchange happen or our benet. I just cant repeat this enough.

Communicate with yoursel rst and dish out the desires o

your heart to be the greatest parent to yoursel rst and to

someone else, like your little one, second.

Youre amazing, and by being this amazing creature, you

are ar above anything normal. You are worthy o creating your

own ideas that will work or your newborn and yoursel. Thats

what incredible means! This sets you apart rom all parents and

peopleto nd out or yoursel that niche or your newborn

or childthe one and true thing that works to calm him down

and make him smile and laugh or be just gooy. There is no

communicator like you. Your neighbors might think you are

not so dierent, but youre dierent enough to satisy your

intentions, goals, dreams, and most o all, attain peace with

your new amily.The reason I totally support this type o technique is

because Ive seen many parents do this and reap many bene-

ts, such as:

One

They stay positive and have less ear o bad

things happening.


43/144


Two

Parents can gain a conscious edge in expecting

only the best or the expectation o an advancinguture and start living and believing ahead o

the curve.

Three

Positive and creativity builds relationships. Also,

riends will want to hear about more improve-

ments in your lie instead o negative gossip, orwe know bad talking and negative conversations

can hurt the most condent and strong-minded

person. We all need positive thinking to lit us

up every day, especially when things do not go

our way.

Four

The Baby Schedule Ruler will sculpt your little

one into expecting new abilities by rst concen-

trating on what it will eel like or be like to

become just like you. They are listening to your

every conversation. As they grow to see and

ocus on people and things, they will ollow your

success. It works!

It is so un to write this chapter because I saw an impor-

tant act in the years o my experiences. A caregiver must know

when to allow the parents time with their babywhen to get

out o the picture. I thought, what would happen i I did every-

thing or the parent? What would the uture be like without

me there? How depressing it would be or these parents to take

on a job they were not ready or. But they would be ready ithey can consistently use creative parental imagination.

Thereore, I always encourage all parents to be themselves


44/144


45/144


perection cant be beat by any advisor. I hope you will let lie

be lived with explorations o yoursel. I personally eel so stuck

and let down i I am not thinking o a way to create a lot o joyor mysel and everyone else.

Learning how inants and children appreciate creativity

amazed me to the point o being in this proession day and

night. I am oten asked how I did it or so long and how am I

still doing this line o work. One o my answers is that there is no

other love in lie than to know and love your little one. To help

comort that amily whose liestyle is ar dierent rom what itwas beore is my motivation or being creative, and it kept me

eeling alive and peaceul. I I only could express to you the

super joy I have elt and the tears I have cried when leaving my

cases when my contract was up to move onto the next celebrity

client or successul business amily. I can proudly say that the

tears Ive shed were ull o love, because all my clients saw a

way out o ears by having the right help, and most o all, the

person who brought out a lot o creativity and sound advice.

To help elevate the whole amily and to lit up the hearts and

souls o every amily member is my goal.

All o my amilies have been perect. They have taught me

more about knowing not to be so earul. Love must be devel-

oped and trusted. Love is ar beyond and is well identied

through actions. By acting in a certain way, I saw the love my

amilies gave to their newborns, and this love is beyond inter-pretation. When my parents mixed up the day with creativity,

lie became so easy to live. Creativity is the recipe or living the

best lie.

Lie can be good i you develop something dierent and

entertaining. Lets say creativity is almost as great as love. It is

a eeling that cannot be taken awaya unique entity. This is

lie worth living; its just good and eels great. I thank all thedierent people who have taken me or my word and lived this

good lie.


46/144

46 Dee Rule

Do something. I it works, do more o it. I it doesnt, do

something else.Franklin D. Roosevelt

(18821945)


47/144

47

Chapter 4

The Parental Persistence:

Feedin Times and

Schedule Frmatin

Nothing in the world can take place o persistence. Talent

will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessul

men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is

almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is ull o

educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone

are omnipotent.

Calvin Coolidge

The thirteenth president o the United States

IN this chapter, Ive mapped out some schedules Ive usedor many clients, and it helped put their days together in

a manner that was not too crazy. These schedules were

ormed according to the babys personality and the needs o

the parents and according to the parental or amily liestyle.

These schedules produce a constructive day that will help

bring about a happy, peaceul, restul baby and amily. It is one

o the most helpul pieces o advice I can put down on paper.


48/144

48 Dee Rule

Consider the postage stamp, my son. It secures success

through its ability to stick to one thing till it gets there.

Josh Billings

The liestyles o the parents matters. Having a baby should

not change your liestyle until you are just miserable.

Misery is avoidable i you develop a plan that you can live

with and that will give you a happy ending. Knowing what your

day is going to be like is important. Also, knowing what youre

going to accomplish by scheduling your baby as soon as possibleis worth as much as your inner peace. I am not saying that you

must do make a schedule, but i all has ailed when trying to

have a sane day, you can try scheduling. In William Condons,

Study o Cultural Micro-rhythms, he looked over lms o people

communicating, and he broke this communication down into

blocks o 1/45th o a second and analyzed all gestures, looks,

and speech and concluded that conversations had a rhythm

a synchrony like a dance.

*****

I can hear the baby Im taking care o. Ill be back. She is

okay; I just gave here a burp. She was a little ussy, but now

I have her playing in her gym. Lets continue!

*****

Perhaps scheduling a routine or children and newborns

can be seen as a dance o gestures or movements in the rhythm

o the day that produces positive resultsresults in commu-

nicating. It can be easy to understand or people who are

enjoying the dance (what is next or what can I have?). It can

also be rustrating but can be xed with learning communica-

tion techniques to understand rhythms o lie. It can be a gatewaythat leads the mind to create and understand a natural sequence o


49/144


time. The baby will know what time is without knowing what a

clock is.

Many proessionals have no idea how to make a routineor schedule or babies and toddlers. A xed schedule equals

a routine. What I provide is a routine, or schedule, that is

fexible according to the needs o the developing baby and

parental instincts o both the mom and the dad, because they

know best. From experience with some medical proessionals,

in order or them to keep your business, they have put money

rst and the truth last, or they just keep it quiet. Maybe theydont want to oend you in any way by giving you permission

to look or some other way. I love to give you the heads up on

all o this. Do what you like and what is good or your amily!

I that means going to another doctor or medical practice, just

do it! Those parental instincts have kicked in and told you it is

the right thing to do.

Not all o your decisions will be correct. None o us is

perect. But i you get into the habit o making decisions,

experience will develop your judgment to a point where

more and more o your decisions will be right. Ater all, it

is better to be right 51 percent o the time and get some-

thing done because you ear to reach a decision.

H. W. Andrews

The one most powerul expression o the way we live is

time. Time is an arbitrary measurement that helps people

divide the years into months, the months into days, and the

days into hours, minutes, and seconds. Humans saw this need

and thereore developed this mechanism o order. Now lets

divide up time or your baby in hours. We can show and teach

your baby about time, and time can produce actions. Timeis actionand actions are divided in time. These actions in time

can be ood, hugs, playtime, daily walk time, talking time, no


50/144

50 Dee Rule

talking time, music time, riends and amily time, bath time,

bed time, aternoon nap time, and burp time.

We must learn to view change as a natural phenom-

enonto anticipate it and to plan or it. The uture is

ours to channel in the direction we want to go we must

continually ask ourselves, What will happen i ? or

better still, How can we make it happen?

Lisa Taylor

Order helps us see reely and sometimes hinders us rom

some expressions. There is even a time where expressions

need to take a break. In other words, I have encouraged all my

amilies to have structure but retain some fexibility too.

It is so beautiul or me to see and nd a way to help please

everyone. I had great joy when I let the amily knowing they

did not always have to live in a box but could sometimes divert

rom the routine one or two times a week to enjoy themselves

in various ways, like going to a restaurant with their baby or

having riends over or dinner, showing o the most precious

thing in their lives and socializing with their colleagues.

Having a baby leads us into a new dimension o time and lie.

Were reproducing another orm o ourselves. As Ive watched

these wonderul humans, Ive witnessed that babies want to be

involved in their amilies lives and outings. They like to enjoylie like us. They want to listen to sounds o chirping birds.

Think about i they might want to eel the summer breeze on

their aces or hear you laugh and converse on the phone or

just be social at a party. They want these things in modera-

tion just like adults. They want to be up and looking around

because they do not want to miss a thing. Ater they have seen

or loved that particular thing or gesture, they begin to uss toshow us that they want to be put down to rest.

Lets celebrate outside o sleep time. Go to the beach, to


51/144


the park, or shopping. But be infexible sometimes and have

a solid schedule where eeding times are the same and bath

time, walk times, and playtimes are the same. I you live a lieo long days o working at the oce or working rom home,

you need to implement this structure every day. Having an

infexible schedule doesnt mean you have to be in an insti-

tutional environment. But you can reach your goals or your

baby aster by having a solid, persistent schedule. I know this

or a act because it has helped many amilies Ive worked with

to obtain peace and comort.For some babies, it will take a longer time to get used to

a schedule due to their personalities, but others will adapt to

the schedule much sooner. Because o gassiness and spit-ups,

the babys weight can be a actor as well. Severe changes in

the nursery rooms temperature can also be a big problem.

I the temperature fuctuates too much and i the newborn is

not monitored throughout the days and nights, it can cause

problems. You dont want your little one to be hot or cold but

comortable.

FEEDING TIMES AND

SCHEDULING FORMATIONS

When a baby comes home rom the hospital, start eeding

him every three to three and a hal hours and breasteed or

hal an hour i you can. You should only do this i the baby is at a

normal birth weight and the doctor okays the baby to go home.

You can give ormula as a supplement, at least once or twice a

day in the beginning i needed until you have enough breast

milk. Remember that the baby needs to always be hydrated.Thereore, your little one should look pink and day-by-day, his


52/144

52 Dee Rule

skin should appear uller and meatier. Also, you should see

some orm o spit-up, and the baby should void (urinate) clear,

not yellowish or gold-colored, urine. Contact your doctor i you seeany signs o sickness or dehydration. Always keep in contact with your

pediatrician because he or she is physically evaluating the progress o

your newborn or child.

Keeping the baby hydrated is very important and needs to

be highlighted in our minds. The next group o instruc-

tions will escalate your progress in achieving a long nightssleep or your baby. Please go over these instructions until

youve created a proper plan that works consistently.

Please be patient.

SPECIAL NOTE

Rulers A, B, and C can be adjusted according to your

answers in The Liestyle Clocking Day, but keep true to the

intervals laid out in the schedules.


53/144


The Lifestyle Clocking Day

Place your answers to the ollowing ve questionson the clock lines!

1. What time would you like your little one to go tobed

at night and begin quite time?

2. What time would you like your little one to get up

in the morning?

3. What time would you like you little one to start

her midday nap?

4. What are the best times or your morning walks?5. What time can you walk with your baby in the late

aternoon?


54/144

54 Dee Rule

Now we have an idea when were going to start quiet time. To

do this, turn on the sound machine, close the blinds, prepare abottles or breasteed as usual, swaddle the baby, burp a couple

o times, and nally put the baby down to rest. The baby might

give a little uss, but wait two minutes beore comorting him

and see i he needs another burp or more ood. Then put him

down to rest! -Tap out a rhythm i the baby begins to uss again.

Turn your head away to exhale because babies associate your

rhythm with being awake and will want to be picked up. But iyou tap a new rhythm o beats, they will go down to sleep, drit

away, and rest. Youre the messenger!

I encourage top-os. Top-os are extra eedings given

to the baby between eeding times. Its good to give your

little one a top-o at least once a day within the rst three

months. Remember, your baby is still growing rapidly. She

is going to be hungry! For breasteeding mothers, the

top-o should last ten to teen minutes. For bottle-ed

babies, two to three ounces o ormula is good.


55/144


The Baby Schedule Ruler A (The Starter)

Ruler A is or babies who are between one and six weeksold.

FeedingTimes:

You should eed every three hours during the

day at 8 or 9AM(FOR FELXABILITY), 12:00

PM, 3:00 PM, 6:00 PM, 9:00 PM, and at our- tove-hour intervals at night, but i the baby is

very hungry, you should eed the baby anytime

beore the ourth or th hour, but not beore

three hours. Ater the top-o eeding, go

another our to ve hours beore eeding again.

Try to eed your baby between eight and nine

oclock in the morning i you can. Also, a goodopportunity or a top-o is the late morning.

But try to get back on schedule by giving the

12:00 PM eeding on time.

I you get o the routine, thats okay. Just give

an early eeding or a later eeding to get back on

schedule or that day. Also, you can be a day o

schedule/routine but get back on your routine

as soon as possible or the next day.


56/144

56 Dee Rule

The Baby Schedule Ruler B

(Thestarterhasadvanced):

Ruler B is or babies between six to twelve weeks

o age.

FeedingTimes:

You should eed the baby at 9:00 AM, 12:30 AM,4:00 PM, 7:30 PM, and at ve- to six-hour inter-

vals at night. Try to not give anything until at

least ve hours ater the last eeding. The last is

the ghost eeding. I your baby is not hungry

or six- to seven-hour stretches ater the 8:00

PM or 8:30 PM eeding, you do not need to give

ghost eedings. Your baby can have a nighteeding, but put the baby down immediately

ater burpingno talking or rocking. Also, try

to eed close to 9:00am in the morning, but i

you cannot, then start eeding at 8:00 AM i the

baby is very hungry. As the baby grows, you might

need to give him an early-morning eeding at

6:00 or 7:00 AM. But get back on schedule by

9:00 AM. Flexibility is also needed or a growing

baby.

Some babies who tend to be big spit-uppers

need to be held upright or a period o time

beore you put them down to rest. Wait at least

teen minutes beore you put them down to

rest. Their heads need to be supported at aorty-ve-degree angle in bed.


57/144


What Are Ghost Feedings?

I received a text message when I was in working in LosAngeles, Caliornia, rom a very sweet mother. I took care o

her rst child, but I couldnt help her out with the second

baby due to my commitment to my present client. She wanted

to know what she could do to help her son, Gary, to sleep

through the night just as well as her rst child, Mark, who was

now three years old and had been sleeping through the night

since he was two and a hal months.She had hit a wall trying to make it happen and wanted

to know what the secret was to achieving the same results or

Gary, who was now three months old. I text messaged her back

and wrote, Ghost eedings are the best way to accomplish

stretches o sleep. I told her how to go about this, and she

called me back ater two days and was elated by the results. She

told me, Gary used to sleep or our hours at the most andwould have at least two eedings during the night. My ghost

eedings helped train him to sleep or six to eight hours. She

always keeps in contact, and its been a pleasure helping her

out.

I you are not successul in having long stretches like ve

or more hours at this time, I encourage you to start ghost eed-

ings. These are eedings that are done two hours to two and

a hal hours ater the bedtime eeding. You tiptoe into the

nursery armed with about three to our ounces o ormula or

breast milk, and you say nothing. Begin to eed your baby in

dim light, burp him, and put him down to sleep again. Then

make your exit quietly. The sound machine should be on, and

you should have shades on the windows or dark curtains to

block out a lot o the morning sun.


58/144

58 Dee Rule

The Baby Schedule Ruler C

(The Advanced Baby)Ruler C is or babies rom twelve weeks o age until they are

sleeping through the night.

FeedingTimes:

You should eed the baby at 8:00 AM or 9:00

AM, 11:30 AM or 12:30 PM, 4:00 PM, and 7:30PM. Then the baby can sleep as long as ten or

eleven hours.

It is good to be in a very quiet place beore putting your

baby down to sleep. Also, you the parent must decide the cut-o

point when you would like your baby to all asleep, and this

time must be enorced nightly. Eight oclock or eight thirty areexcellent goodnight times, but you must keep to the schedule

as strictly as you would like the baby to observe it.

The baby gets a bottle as soon as she wakes up ater ten

or more hours counting rom the time she goes down

to sleep at night until the morning. Always give the baby

some time beore you enter her room to comort her withpity-pats or turning her on the right or let side. Try not

to breathe on her or talk because this will only rouse her

more. Then the baby gets her morning eeding.

As time goes by, the 9:00 AM eeding will be the breakast

eeding with solids, but you can give your baby a bottle

i she is ussy ater 6:00 AMthen give her that 9:00 AM

breakast eeding.


59/144


Do not be araid o ussiness or crying; they are two dierent

things and can be interpreted wrongly by us. Fussiness is done

in a rhythmic manner like talking and crying is expressed in anall-out bawl, it is much louder and arrhythmic. Letting a baby

uss a little is ne. It clears the lungs and gets rid o unwanted

gas. It orces out all stress. But do not let your baby cry or a

long period o time without some comort. Your baby might be

telling you something is wrong. Always check your little ones

temperature i you see a dierence in acial color. Knowing

what your baby looks like normally is an advantage in accom-plishing early awareness o any problems, and you must contact

your doctor immediately i you suspect a problem.

As your little one gets to the age o six months and older,

parents can decide how long to allow their babies to uss or cry

or periods o time beore giving some comort, but I would

advise parents to never allow any ussiness beyond ten to teen

minutes at a time. The baby will eventually give up and all

asleep. But use this only at bedtimebedtime is the strictest

time o the day. Night is or rest, and so are your babys daily

naptimes. Rest time is the number one time or your baby to

sleep and reuel and or you, its parents, to have time together,

socialize, make phone calls, have lunch or dinner, throw your-

selves on your bed and make more babies, or just rest your

souls.

Can you imagine driving a car with no uel? This is the way you will eel i you continue without sound rest. Implement

this program and abide by it daily. I you do, youll have a great

sense o ulllment that you are doing the right thing or your

baby and your amily. Do not overwhelm yoursel with count-

less or unmindul things that will throw the success you are

reaching or o track, but remember what it will mean or you

to have a productive day with restul sleep. Pace yoursel!People will want to know the ormula or your success and

will need every detail rom you. Just tell them about it. Be open


60/144

60 Dee Rule

to the great thing you have come across and eel ree and giddy

again like a teenager. Be ree to express your joy at every great

thing in your lie.


61/144

61

Chapter 5

Ways t Calm Dwn

a Fussy Baby

BABIES can mix the sweet ormula or persuasion with

their acial expressions, cries, and the innocent, small

shape o their unique human bodies. This lure is inec-

tious and cunning to our emotions. Politicians use persuasion

to win votes and nance elections. They achieve this with theplacement o TV advertisements and hot orum debates host-

ed by a mediator (a known personality who will provide them

the questions o the day on social, economical, ethnical, and

international topics). When babies use persuasion to be loved

by us and to have their needs satisedit works! Theyre our

baby candidates!

Those acial expressions melt the soul. They can convinceus to act more quickly than we would without them. Its great

to see the body language o presidential candidates and their

plan to get our votes. It can make one agree or disagree on

the subjects they are debating. Children posses this power o

persuasion and grow up mastering it through practicing on

their parents and riends and in their proessional adult lives.

It is vital that inants eel the importance o their persua-sion. It allows them to eel they have dominion over us. Give

as much attention as possible to these little ones; this attention


62/144

62 Dee Rule

will enorce the idea o their important position in the hier-

archy o your amily.

Here are some keys to the puzzle o newborn crying.Soothing the newborn is not an easy task. When I started my

nursing career, I thought, This is an impossible task! I wanted

to quit; where was the door? My lord, I thought, because o the

amount o work I have in ront o me, I cannot do this or lie! I

better start looking or that new jobanything that doesnt include

the sound o crying. Soothing the newborn child, twins, and trip-

lets was an out-o-body experience and a challenge. To read allthe signals a child gives when it is ussing, crying, miserable,

and in need o something like sleepits an enormous task

because every human being is dierent. Ive never seen two

sets o twins, whether identical or raternal, alike in personality

and crying style.

The scream, the whimper, the laugh, the roar, the moan,

and the rhythmic crying convey the same messages to

everyone everywhere. Like the sounds o other animals,

they relate to basic emotional moods and give us an

immediate impression o the motivational state o the

vocalizer.

Crying is not only the earliest mood-signal we give, it is

also the most basic. Smiling and laughing are unique andrather specialized signals, but crying we share with thou-

sands o other species.

The Naked Ape

by Desmond Morris

A ussy babys crying can be sotened by positioning your

little one in the way he wants to be soothed. Soothe him inthat position where he will orget all the gassiness, hiccups,

and spit-ups. Yes, your baby has a comort zone. This comort


63/144


zone can be ound by trial and error. I can tell you this because

Ive seen mothers and athers nd ways to soothe their babies,

which results in peace or the whole amily.These parents are indeed creative. They will try to gure

out how to soothe their babies on their own, positioning

their little ones in dierent spots. Imagining the possibilities

o coping with the newborn can help these parents become

better people in general.

Intuition is the subconscious analysis that will bring about

the remedy to the childs ussiness. What parents eel is usuallyright. I you question yoursel oten enough and use your

answers, presto, you will solve the problem. Great solutions are

gathered in silence and translated in talk. Its so nice to have

a parent solve the problem like solving a crossword puzzle,

lining everything up and seeing the results. Creative problem

solving results in beautiul communication. Its an adventure

or the growing adult. But watch out or the growing baby! He

or she knows you almost better than you know yoursel. Your

baby spends all day being close to you and listening to your

conversations and the rise and all o your voice, and she sees

you turning your attention back to her every need. What can

I do to become a baby again? Scientists need to work harder

on this!

I begin to try to ease the newborn by rst understanding

the personality o the baby and, most important, the liestyleand personalities o the parents. Lets have more winners than

losers. The Baby Schedule Ruler begins with these techniques

and the positive eect you can have on your baby. Always ask

yoursel what positive eeling the newborn is searching or.

Maybe something in his environment, such as an odor, is

disturbing; it might be that the room is too hot or too cold.

Were going to search together by trying these techniques.


64/144

64 Dee Rule

Try This And That, But It Will Take

Parental Imagination And Creativity ToMake Our Days Better

Learn how to be optimistic even in the ace o large and

intimidating challenges and it will revolutionize your

lie.

Donald Trump

One:

Fullyswaddleyourlittleoneifheisunderfour

weeks old, and swaddle the newborn halway i

he is our to twelve weeks old.

Hold the baby upright and facing outward,

placing your arms across the tummy. Hold the

baby comortably as you give her a tour o her

new home.

Letyourbabyseehimselfinthemirror.Talkto

your baby or sing a avorite lullaby. Return to

this position as needed. It helps to release a lot

o gas.

Two

Swaddleyourbabyhalfwayandplaceheracross

your lap on their side. Pat your little ones back

as i youre burping her. You can sway a little so

your baby can enjoy the movement.

Three Holding the baby over your shoulder, pat his

back gently until a big burp comes out.


65/144


Four

Sing your favorite song to your newborn orplay your avorite song while bouncing your

newborn.

Five

Usearattletodistractthebabyfromcrying.

Six Use a baby play mirror to distract her from

crying.

Seven

Fullyswaddleyournewbornandholdhim.

Eight

PutyourbabyinaBabyBjornandwalkaround

with her in the home or outside.

Nine

Dance with your newborn when he is fully

wrapped or hal swaddled. This oten works, but

do not dance too much ater a eeding because

the baby might spit up.

Ten

Rockinginarockingchairisokay,butdonot

rock too oten or too vigorously. You should

always take note o whether you are establishing

good habits or bad habits or your baby. I will

talk more about good and bad habits or yournewborn later. The main question I am trying

to ask is can you live with any habit your baby


66/144

66 Dee Rule

develops? You must be able to live with the

babys habits comortably. I a habit bothers you,

you will have to change that habit. I it is harm-less, the baby might just grow out o it. It might

take some time.

Parenting requires all o our patience and none o our

experience.

Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Onlythrough experience o trial and suering can the soul

be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired, and

success achieved.

Helen Keller

Eleven

Ifthebabyisovertiredandhasbeenuncomfort-

able or a long time, and you have reached your

limit o trying, then the solution is to give your

baby a two-minute cry.

Fully swaddle the baby if she is under two

months old or hal swaddle the baby i she is

older. Never ull swaddle longer than our

months or a preemie.

SpecialNote:

Somebabiesliketobefullyswaddle

longer than four weeks, its just

there personality and preference.

Itsokwithmeifitsokwithyou.


67/144


Putthebabydowninthecriborbassinet.

Turnoffthelightsandturnonasoundmachinethat has many selections i sounds. I always

recommend the white noise selection or the

waterall.

Returntotheroomaftertwominutestopatthe

baby i he is not calming down or alling asleep.

Repeat the two-minute cry or one more timecycle. I the little one is still going on, give him

a top-o. A top-o is a little extra breast milk or

ormula given outside o eeding time to help

satisy your babys hunger.

Give the baby two to four ounces of formula

i the she is between ve and eight pounds, or

breasteed up to teen minutes i you have a

good fow, but add an additional ve minutes i

the fow o milk is a little low. Do not be araid to

try bottle o milk every now and then because it

takes longer or the body to digest ormula, and

ormula might give your baby a uller eeling

over a longer period o time i used only one

time or the day.

Everybodysbreastmilkhasdifferentamounts

o nutrients. The morning fow o milk is higher

in nutrients than at any other time o the day.

Twelve

If its very nice outside, take your little oneout or a walk. I believe walking your little one

twice a day is wonderul or the baby and or


68/144

68 Dee Rule

the parent. The sun and wind wear babies out;

it exhausts all their energy and relaxes them.

Make it a ritual to go out on requent walks. Iyou can do this once a day or one to two hours,

you have done a lot or your newborns aware-

ness o the world.

Yes,getinvolvedwithotherparentswhocangive

you positive eedback, not negative comments.

We do not need opposition at this time.

Manytimesyouwillndyourselfhearingalot

o bad things rom other parents; please do not

be upset or too long. There is a better way out i

things are not so great. Lets avoid stress. Other

peoples comments can be very hurtul, but your

job is to disregard the negative comments and

engage yoursel in peace and happiness with

your baby every day.

Speaking about this is very important to me and

all the amilies Ive spoken with. I someone out

thereon the phone, in the park, at the grocery

storeis giving you an upset stomach, get out o

there sooner rather than later, especially i thatperson is rambling on saying stressul and bad

things you do not agree with.

Feelcondentinyourdecisionsifyouandyour

loved one agree to change any way that you take

care o your baby. Thats your business. Do not

make a walk with your baby a stressul time.


69/144


Babieslovethebumpinessofthepavementand

the beat o being outside, but sometimes a walk

will not work to calm the baby down. Just swaya little or take your baby out in the stroller or

a burp or two. Babies love to see everyone out

there, as well as trees, neighborhood dogs, chil-

dren, squirrels, cats, cars, fower beds, gates, and

you.

Thirteen Play a lot of music! And please do not listen

only to one particular kind o music. There is

a whole world o very entertaining selections

rom every country in the world. Let your heart

and your babys soul be entertained with the git

o music.

Some programs advocate only one type o music,

but your child will love any music you love.

Babies love to listen to rhythms and bass beats.

This is what they were exposed to in the womb.

Why take it away rom them now that theyre

outside the womb? Its best to let them eel as

i things have not changed very much and to

revisit the good things they did when they werecarried by Mommy.

When all is said and done, soothing your baby comes down

to nding your own niche with your newbornwhatever

you discover while being active during the day. I this unique

discovery soothes the baby in a pleasing way, then you have

discovered something new to be used over again, that is theniche o soothing youve achieved with your little one

Keep on going and eel comortable enjoying this


70/144

70 Dee Rule

experience. Growing into parenthood is the greatest expe-

rience you will ever eel. Youre being productive while

understanding your babys reasons or crying. I know I soundlike Im encouraging you to become a marketing executive,

but we as parents in a very unique way must sell ourselves to the

newborns mind. They in turn seek understanding just like us.

Theyre thinking, What can you do or me? Why am I naked?

Who the hell are you? Whats that?" or, How can I be you?

Sometimes a baby is bored and just does not know what

he wants rom you. We can give suggestions: toys, unny acialexpressions to get them involved, and so on. The change o

environment will produce a ne

the baby schedule ruler

Documents