The battered mother’s The battered mother’s dilemmadilemma

Evan Stark, Ph.D, Evan Stark, Ph.D, MSWMSW

Rutgers University-Rutgers University-NewarkNewark

the italian woman

henri matisse

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GoalsGoalsRecognize the gap between how women and Recognize the gap between how women and children experience abuse and how it is children experience abuse and how it is understoodunderstood

Reframe woman battering as Coercive ControlReframe woman battering as Coercive Control

Apply to child welfareApply to child welfare

Ms. NicholsonMs. Nicholson

Charged with Charged with ““neglectneglect”” though though the couple was separatedthe couple was separatedher son was in school her son was in school her daughter asleep, her daughter asleep,

New York City Child New York City Child ProtectionProtection

–ChildChild’’s exposure per se s exposure per se neglectfulneglectful

–Danger so high, no court Danger so high, no court order before removalorder before removal

– When there is When there is ““ambiguity,ambiguity,”” REMOVEREMOVE

Judge Jack WeinsteinJudge Jack Weinstein

It is unconstitutional for CPS It is unconstitutional for CPS to charge a non-offending to charge a non-offending parent with neglect and parent with neglect and remove a child solely because remove a child solely because she was a victim of domestic she was a victim of domestic violenceviolence

Appellate DecisionAppellate Decision

Domestic Violence is Domestic Violence is not not presumptively neglectfulpresumptively neglectful

Background to NicholsonBackground to Nicholson

Overlap of DV and CAOverlap of DV and CA

New Understanding of DVNew Understanding of DV

New Knowledge about Resilience New Knowledge about Resilience and the dynamics of abuseand the dynamics of abuse

History of DV InterventionsHistory of DV Interventions

REFUGE/SHELTER REFUGE/SHELTER MOVEMENTMOVEMENT

The Legal RevolutionThe Legal Revolution CPS ReformCPS Reform Presumptive Custody StatutesPresumptive Custody Statutes Cultural ChangeCultural Change

The Revolution has The Revolution has StalledStalled

no one goes to jailno one goes to jail BIPs Make Little DifferenceBIPs Make Little DifferencePresumptive Custody may be backfiringPresumptive Custody may be backfiringCPS is punitiveCPS is punitive

U.S. INTIMATE PARTNER HOMICIDE U.S. INTIMATE PARTNER HOMICIDE RATE DECLINE 1976-2000RATE DECLINE 1976-2000 FBI (SHR, 1976-FBI (SHR, 1976-

2000)2000)

U.S. INTIMATE PARTNER HOMICIDE U.S. INTIMATE PARTNER HOMICIDE RATE DECLINE 1976-2000RATE DECLINE 1976-2000 FBI (SHR, 1976-FBI (SHR, 1976-

2000)2000)

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FEMALE

MALE

THE DE-GENDERED MODELTHE DE-GENDERED MODEL

Incident BasedIncident BasedViolence FocusedViolence FocusedCalculus of HarmsCalculus of HarmsIntimate Relationships Intimate Relationships Economy of Victim/Perpetrator Economy of Victim/Perpetrator - - doesndoesn’’t fit woment fit women’’s experience -s experience -

IS DV ABOUT SEVERE IS DV ABOUT SEVERE INJURY?INJURY?

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emergency police military

MINOR

SEVERE

Women and ChildrenWomen and Children’’s s RealityReality

““OngoingOngoing”” Cumulative effectCumulative effect Multiple tacticsMultiple tactics Crosses Social SpaceCrosses Social Space ““HelpHelp”” often makes things worse often makes things worse ““Violence isnViolence isn’’t the worst part.t the worst part.””

When Abused is Viewed When Abused is Viewed through the De-gendered through the De-gendered

Framework:Framework:Abuse is Trivialized Abuse is Trivialized

No one goes to jailNo one goes to jailNo injury, no crimeNo injury, no crime Abuse is only recognized when Abuse is only recognized when violence is severeviolence is severe

Victim fears appear exaggeratedVictim fears appear exaggerated Victims themselves minimizeVictims themselves minimize

In the absence of compelling In the absence of compelling evidence of physical injury.....evidence of physical injury.....

FearFear PersistencePersistence Protective TacticsProtective Tactics DocumentationDocumentation Witness Witness

IntimidationIntimidation

ParanoiaParanoia UncooperativeUncooperative PASPAS ObsessionObsession ExaggerationExaggeration

Health ConsequencesHealth Consequences Alcohol AbuseAlcohol Abuse Drug AbuseDrug Abuse Suicide AttemptsSuicide Attempts Mental IllnessMental Illness Child AbuseChild Abuse HomelessnessHomelessness HIVHIV

Cause or Effect?Cause or Effect?

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SA AA DA Psych

Non BWPre BWPost BW

Why do psychologically normal Why do psychologically normal women become entrapped in abusive women become entrapped in abusive relationships and develop a dramatic relationships and develop a dramatic health profile seen among no other health profile seen among no other population of assault victims? population of assault victims?

TYPOLOGY OF ABUSETYPOLOGY OF ABUSE

FIGHTSFIGHTS PARTNER ASSAULT PARTNER ASSAULT COERCIVE CONTROL COERCIVE CONTROL

COERCIVE CONTROLCOERCIVE CONTROL

Coercive Control is a strategy for Coercive Control is a strategy for retaining gender as the basis for retaining gender as the basis for privilege, personhood, autonomy, privilege, personhood, autonomy, and liberty in a world where sex and liberty in a world where sex discrimination is largely obsolete. discrimination is largely obsolete.

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Coercive ControlCoercive Control

Assault Assault

Intimidation Intimidation

Isolation Isolation

Control Control

DEGRADATIONDEGRADATION

ritual enactments associated with ritual enactments associated with sex, bodily functions or obediencesex, bodily functions or obedience

TARGET AREAS OF GENDER IDENTITY TARGET AREAS OF GENDER IDENTITY FROM WHICH PARTNERS GET THEIR FROM WHICH PARTNERS GET THEIR SELF-RESPECT, ESTEEM AND POWERSELF-RESPECT, ESTEEM AND POWER

Link to OwnershipLink to Ownership

CONTROLCONTROLwhat to cookwhat to cook

no friendsno friendswhen to sleepwhen to sleep

no personal moneyno personal moneywhat to wear what to wear no transportationno transportationwhen to have sexwhen to have sex no contraceptivesno contraceptives

Targets WomenTargets Women’’s Default Roless Default Roles

HomemakerHomemakerSexual PartnerSexual Partner MotherMother““WifeWife””

Control Prevalence US/GBControl Prevalence US/GB Took her Money (.54) Took her Money (.54) Monitored Time (.85) (.66)Monitored Time (.85) (.66) Kept from Medical Care (.29) (.22)Kept from Medical Care (.29) (.22) Did Not Allow to Go to School (.62) (.52)Did Not Allow to Go to School (.62) (.52) No Socializing with Friends (.79) (.71)No Socializing with Friends (.79) (.71) Kept from Seeing Family (.60) (.50)Kept from Seeing Family (.60) (.50) Restricted Car Use (.54) (.31)Restricted Car Use (.54) (.31) CanCan’’t Leave House (.62) (.47)t Leave House (.62) (.47) Threatened to Take Children (.44) (.40)Threatened to Take Children (.44) (.40) Did Not Allow to Work (.34) (.40)Did Not Allow to Work (.34) (.40) Tried to Make Crazy (.89) (.75)Tried to Make Crazy (.89) (.75)Sources: Tolman,l989; Rees, Agnew-Davies & Barkham, 2006; Buzawa et al. l999Sources: Tolman,l989; Rees, Agnew-Davies & Barkham, 2006; Buzawa et al. l999

Why does she stay?Why does she stay?

She DoesnShe Doesn’’tt Separation is dangerousSeparation is dangerous Ending abuse as a processEnding abuse as a process She loves him and/or thinks the She loves him and/or thinks the

children need himchildren need him No resourcesNo resources

Why does HE Stay?Why does HE Stay?

Privileges & OwnershipPrivileges & Ownership Exploitation (work, money, sex)Exploitation (work, money, sex) DependencyDependency Fear of being alone (Fear of being alone (‘‘abandonment abandonment

anxiety)anxiety) ““Doing Masculinity.Doing Masculinity.””

– BECAUSE HE CANBECAUSE HE CAN

Coercive ControlCoercive Control Harms to LibertyHarms to Liberty Harms to EqualityHarms to Equality Harms to Physical SecurityHarms to Physical Security Harms to PersonhoodHarms to Personhood Harms to FamilyHarms to Family Harms to CitizenshipHarms to Citizenship Harms to Community and EconomyHarms to Community and Economy

ChildrenChildren’’s exposures exposure

VisualVisual - - as as ““eyewitnesseyewitness”” AudioAudio - - hearing the violencehearing the violence

Tool of PerpetratorTool of Perpetrator - used in - used in eventevent

AftermathAftermath - - the impact of the impact of violence and male dominanceviolence and male dominance

WomanWoman’’s Resiliencys Resiliency

““Ordinary magicOrdinary magic””– competence in – competence in the face of adversitythe face of adversity

Mothering through domestic Mothering through domestic violenceviolence

98% Emotionally available to 98% Emotionally available to childrenchildren

9l% …..Appropriate Discipline9l% …..Appropriate Discipline

Within the CPS Within the CPS caseloadcaseload

Compared to Non-battered Compared to Non-battered Women, battered women are:Women, battered women are:Half as likely to abuse Half as likely to abuse drugs (20% v. 11%)drugs (20% v. 11%)

Half as likely to abuse Half as likely to abuse Alcohol & drugs Alcohol & drugs

ABUSE vs. NEGLECTABUSE vs. NEGLECT

Battered MotherBattered Mother

Few Problems in Few Problems in ChildhoodChildhood

Few Secondary Few Secondary ProblemsProblems

Not BatteredNot Battered

Multi-Problem Multi-Problem ChildhoodChildhood

““OverwhelmedOverwhelmed”” with problemswith problems

ChildrenChildren’’s Resiliency…….s Resiliency…….

Only l child in 40 requires Only l child in 40 requires medical attention or merits medical attention or merits charge of risk of injurycharge of risk of injury

Most children exposed to dv Most children exposed to dv have no mental health or have no mental health or behavioral effects (60-75%)behavioral effects (60-75%)

Risk of exposure vs. Trauma of Risk of exposure vs. Trauma of removalremoval

Children from dv homes may be Children from dv homes may be more vulnerable to removal more vulnerable to removal traumatrauma

Foster care system has risk of Foster care system has risk of abuse and disruption of contacts abuse and disruption of contacts (5% v. 2%)(5% v. 2%)

Woman is isolated: battering may Woman is isolated: battering may escalateescalate

The battered motherThe battered mother’’s s dilemma: The abuserdilemma: The abuser’’s strategys strategy Caught between protecting child and Caught between protecting child and

being hurtbeing hurt Ongoing facet of abusive Ongoing facet of abusive

relationshipsrelationships An explanation for why women may An explanation for why women may

hurt or neglect their childrenhurt or neglect their children

Child Abuse as Tangential Child Abuse as Tangential spouse Abuse….spouse Abuse….

When the batterer hurts, When the batterer hurts, intimidates, isolates or intimidates, isolates or controls the child to controls the child to hurt/control/isolate or hurt/control/isolate or intimidate the motherintimidate the mother

Contact & Custody

FAMILY COURT

Domestic Violence: Criminal Charges;

TRO-

CRIMINAL COURT

Child Protection

Coercively Controlling Male Partner

Mother Failing to Protect

Planet I

Planet 3

‘Good Enough’ Father

Planet 2

Life on Three Planets

Adapted from Radford & Hester, 2006

The battered motherThe battered mother’’s s dilemmadilemma

““if I donif I don’’t do something, my child and I will t do something, my child and I will be hurtbe hurt””

““If I report, my child will be removed and I If I report, my child will be removed and I will be hurt. To keep my child, I have to will be hurt. To keep my child, I have to keep the secret.keep the secret.””

““If I do what family court wants, I put If I do what family court wants, I put myself and my child at risk. If I donmyself and my child at risk. If I don’’t, I lose t, I lose my child.my child.””

““If I do what child welfare wants, I put If I do what child welfare wants, I put myself and my child at risk.myself and my child at risk.””

Tangential Spouse AbuseTangential Spouse AbuseWhen the court, police, health When the court, police, health

or child welfare system uses or child welfare system uses the child as a way to harm or the child as a way to harm or control the parentcontrol the parent

Reframing in the context of Reframing in the context of CCCC

Explore Multiple Sources of AbuseExplore Multiple Sources of Abuse Build a Narrative of OppressionBuild a Narrative of Oppression Reframe Client as Woman with Reframe Client as Woman with

Constrained OptionsConstrained Options

Reframe FEAR as a Reasonable Reframe FEAR as a Reasonable Response to Multiple ConstraintsResponse to Multiple Constraints

PRINCIPLES OF ADVOCACYPRINCIPLES OF ADVOCACY

END UNCONSTITUTIONAL PRACTICESEND UNCONSTITUTIONAL PRACTICES MAKE WOMEN SAFE TO MAKE MAKE WOMEN SAFE TO MAKE

CHILDREN SAFE (Janet Reno)CHILDREN SAFE (Janet Reno) REDRESS THE IMBALANCE IN POWERREDRESS THE IMBALANCE IN POWER MAKE IT POSSIBLE FOR WOMENMAKE IT POSSIBLE FOR WOMEN’’S S

VOICES TO BE HEARD?VOICES TO BE HEARD? HOLD PERPETRATOR ACCOUNTABLEHOLD PERPETRATOR ACCOUNTABLE

‘‘AinAin’’t I a Woman?t I a Woman?’’ women have needs in their own rightwomen have needs in their own right From From ““problem womenproblem women”” to women with to women with

problemsproblems Reliance on criminal justiceReliance on criminal justice Start with evidence of strength– ask: Start with evidence of strength– ask:

what has happened to bring this woman what has happened to bring this woman low? low?

Balance safety with liberty and Balance safety with liberty and empowermentempowerment

Principles of InterventionPrinciples of Intervention

ALL FAMILY MEMBERS HAVE A RIGHT TO ALL FAMILY MEMBERS HAVE A RIGHT TO BE SAFEBE SAFE

CASE SPECIFIC ASSESSMENTCASE SPECIFIC ASSESSMENT

RESPECT MEANS PARTNERING not RESPECT MEANS PARTNERING not PATRONIZINGPATRONIZING

““Your honor, the mere fact Your honor, the mere fact that my client and her child that my client and her child are here tells you she has are here tells you she has taken significant steps to taken significant steps to

protect herselfprotect herself””