Hampton Roads Crossfire

2 About “The Bench”

3-5 Advertisements

6 Schedule.Scores.Standings

7-11 Team Write-Ups

12 Skeeball Tournament

13 Picture Captions

14 The Hookup

15 Double Pitcher Contest

16 Sponsor Bar & Charity

17-18 Pictures

Tom Zuppke

Please direct any comments or

questions to your league representative.

The BenchWinter 2013: Issue 6

Coming Soon To “The Bench” Near You

Then email them to me at backyardsportsclub@gmail.com

backyardsportsclub@gmail.com

Double

Pitcher

Contests

Every team will be offered a space every edition of theNewsletter to submit something funny... write abouttheir game... whatever...and since we’re doing anewsletter every Wednesday of every week, you haveplenty of time to come up with something! If yourteam doesn’t submit anything, and isn’t in thenewsletter, talk to your captain!

Ideas for Team SubmissionsWhen I say, submit something for your team, here are some ideas:• Play by plays of the game• Document the debauchery at the bar - i.e. describing someone’s

amazing acting skills hobbling across the bar with a “sprained ankle” just to Ice a teammate. ]

• Draw pictures!!!!!• Favorite quotes, poems, song lyrics, movie scripts, YouTube

video, or motivational speeches!• Email chains from the morning after .• Funny pictures of you, your team, or something random on the

internet• Give your team member awards - drunkest, loudest, person

with the least shame, best off the face catch, etc.!• Anything. Really. Someone on your team is creative.

Submissions are due EVERY Wednesday by 7 p.m.

Backyard Sports Club’s email is backyardsportsclub@gmail.com. I look forward to

working with all of you!

** If you need extra time, email me and just let me know.

DISCLAIMER: if you have problems with keeping your language in check,not bashing refs, being overly nasty to other teams, and other no-no’s,the Editor does have the right to not include your write up in thenewsletter if the content is deemed inappropriate or out of line. We willtry to screen write ups as they are received, will try to let teams know sothat they have time to resubmit, but there is no guarantee. The easiestthing to do is to keep it clean, be nice, and remember this is all in goodfun.

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Please send any requests for “Announcements” to backyardsportsclub@gmail.com

Hour Escape Massage Therapy3500 Virginia Beach Blvd, Suite 304, Virginia

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Everything from relaxation massages to injury rehabilitation.Swedish to Deep Tissue. We are all about customizing yourmassage to fit your specific needs. You deserve an "Hour Escape",you're worth it!

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BYSC Tournament ScheduleFor ALL Leagues

Dodgeball March 22Powder Puff March 24Wiffleball March 10Volleyball March 20

Hair Graphics

Owner and MasterStylist, Joy Godfrey hasbeen creating avant-garde looks for over 10years. Educated by someof the leadingcompanies in the salonindustry; Vidall Sasson,Bumble &Bumble, Wella and PaulMitchel, to name afew. She has a acquireda multitude of skills togive clients the exactlook they want. Herwork is inspired by thelove of art and designspecializing in texturecuts and creative colortechniques. Joy believesthat your hair is a veryimportant part of yourlife, as well as your self-image and personalityand looks forward toworking with you.

WANNA ADVERTISE?If you have a business or an event that you want to

get out to the league, email me with details.

Cornhole TournamentSaturday, March 23rd

Let's all ban together and help raise money for one of our players! OnFeb. 10th, Sam Flowers from Touchdown My Pants, tore her MCL,ACL and partial LCL. She is a struggling college student, whounfortunately, has no insurance. We've all been there! Since she is awaitress at Outback, she has been unable to work.

Please join me and Backyard Sports Club in a Skeeball Tournament.ALL money raised will go towards Sam's medical bills. Let's help asista out!

This event requires pre-registration.backyardsportsclub.com/tournaments/13750-we-skee-for-sams-knee

Teams consist of two players/$20 per person

BYSC Spring LeaguesREGISTRATION IS NOW OPEN

• Recess Kickball – Weds.• Skeeball – Weds.• Blue Diamond Wiffle Ball – Thurs.• VB Surf Wiffle Ball (Sand) – Suns.

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Please send any requests for “Announcements” to backyardsportsclub@gmail.com

Tropical Smoothie211 25th Street

Virginia Beach, VA

Eat Better. Feel Better. If you’re looking for a healthy bite to eator looking to cater your next party, go to Tropical Smoothie at theOceanfront! Our very own, Nikki Rivera from Long N’ Hard Ballsowns this joint, so lets show her some love! Tropical Smoothieoffers high quality, great tasting food and smoothies that willleave you refreshed, not sluggish!

Backyard Sports Club SpecialAny person wearing their Backyard Sports Club shirt will receive 10% off your order. So I suggest you keep an extra BYSC shirt in

the back of your car!

This offer only valid at Tropical Smoothie at the Oceanfront!

Pembroke Chiropractic

Holly Hickson and MarcieMasterman from HoleyBalls in Your Mouth work atPembroke Chiropractic forDr. Mark Soccio. Allow yourbody to “Fall Into GoodHealth” this season withoutthe use of harmful drugs orsurgery. Our holisticapproach goes beyond themedical approach. Our firstgoal is to help you get outof pain as quickly aspossible by assisting yourbody’s inborn ability toheal. Discover Chiropractic!

Don’t forget to like us on Facebook!

Happy Healing!

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Funding Factory Recycling Rumble

It’s Grassfield High vs. Clay County Schools, WV in the2013 Funding Factory Recycling Rumble, and you’ve gotwhat it takes for us to “out-recycle” the competition!

If you have any empty laser and inkjet cartridges, used cellphones, iPods, MP3 playrs, GPS devices, digital cameras,or any of the sort, drop them off at Grassfield High SchoolMain Entrance or with Stella Solorazano from DodgieStyle. NOW THROUGH APRIL 15th. With each item youcontribute, Grassfield High School will be closer to earninga 25% fundraising bonus and winning an Apple iPad!

Let’s help out one of our local schools to achieving one oftheir many goals!

MAKE SURE TO READ DETAILS FOR THE DOUBLE PITCHER CONTEST FOR NEXT WEEK!

Thanks for helping to bring the recycling title to Grassfield!

8:00 Games• Ballsagna vs. Anywhere But the Face Court 1 Ref: Nicky LeBlanc• Dodgeballs in YOUR Mouth vs. Clown Babies Court 2 Ref: Jon Reyes• Not Your Average Joes vs. Dodgie Style Court 3 Ref: Will Buker• Silent Assassins vs. Long N’ Hard Balls Court 4 Ref: Shaun Stauffer9:00 Games• Sloppy Seconds vs. Rings Around Uranus Court 1 Ref: Katy Battista• Stranger Danger vs. Snack Pack City Court 2 Ref: Gabe Harrington• Ballsagna vs. Sons of Pitches Court 3 Ref: James Salgado• Long N’ Hard Balls vs. You’re Killin Me, Balls! Court 4 Ref: Joe Equitan

Stranger Danger 7 7 0 0Dodgeballs in YOUR Mouth! 7 6 1 0You’re Killin me, Balls! 7 6 1 0Dodgie Style 8 5 2 1 Not Your Average Joes 8 4 3 1 Sons of Pitches 7 4 3 0Clown Babies 7 4 3 0 Sloppy Seconds 7 4 3 0Anywhere But the Face 7 4 3 0Silent Assassins 7 2 5 0 Long N’ Hard Balls 6 1 5 0Snack Pack City 7 1 6 0Ballsagna 6 0 6 0Rings Around Uranus 7 0 7 0

Week 5 Score Board

Standings

Week 6 Schedule, Friday March 15th

Teams ScoreBallsagna vs. Stranger Danger 4-9Not Your Average Joe’s vs. Silent Assassins 8-3Snack Pack City vs. Sons of Pitches 1-12Rings Around Uranus vs. You’re Killin Me, Balls! 1-15Clown Babies vs. Sloppy Seconds 8-3Long N’ Hard Balls vs. Not Your Average Joe’s 1-9Anywhere But the Face vs. Rings Around Uranus 14-5Dodgeballs in YOUR Mouth vs. Snack Pack City 10-3

Team Name GP W L T

Team write-ups

Charm said keep it short so here goes:

• Started season 0-3• Last Week, Beat Snack Pack City with only 4 guys

(luckily our women are good)• Also, only having 4 guys sucks• But had to ruin J-Smoove's Birffday (sorry man)• Meow we've won 4 in a row• Next Up: Ballsagna (face)

- Will Buker

Promoting Ball Awareness...Since 2008

The night started out looking a little grim… With only twogirls and four guys for the start of the game, we wereroughing it. Thankfully, RAU let our short-staffed teamplay and did not call for a forfeit! Once the game actuallystarted, we didn’t even have anyone to grab balls and putthem back into play on our side until finally Tardy to theParty Ed showed-up!! The beginning of the game wasback and forth with us winning a game and RAUretaliating with a win of their own. Finally, half waythrough the game we got into a rhythm. Biancasurprising everyone with a couple of game-winningcatches and the guys pegging their prey left and right, wepulled out the win! All-in-all though, definitely one ofthe best games we’ve played. RAU was fantasticallysports-man like, the refs (SOP) were fair and let us play agood game of dodgeball, and the jokes were rolling onboth sides. Great game guys!!!

- Anonymous but I’ll give you a hint! Her name rhymes with Habrina!

Team write-ups

Last week Not Your Average Joe's partook in our first double-header of the season. I don'tknow if it was a blessing or not to have a DH so late in the season but whatever concerns wehad going into our first game of the night were quickly dispelled a few games into our battlewith Silent Assassins. As it turned out many a Silent Assassin were harmed during thiscontest, but I'll get to that in a bit. Going into the game we had our concerns about the arms,Robbie, Brett and Baham just to name a few, Silent Assassins had. Those concerns however,were rapidly extinguished as NYAJ's took a lead after the first couple games and never lookedback. Our fearless leader, Joe "I wish I was a little bit taller" Equitan (It's a song) had whatwas the probably the comeback of the night. Down to just himself, Joe was able to, withsniper precision, or luck (that's what I'm going with), pick off the three Assassins he wasgoing up against, I think it was Charm, a three month old baby and Clint Eastwood's chair,one by one and end up putting a W for NYAJ's in the left column.

Our second game was against Long 'N Hard Balls but I gotta tell ya, there was nothing long orhard about them, unless of course you account for what one of their did to me on the dancefloor but that is neither here nor there. Anyways, back to dodgeball. If participation trophiesexisted then LNHBs would get a trophy. But they don't and the only thing they left with wasa couple concussions (Hi Dom) and some destroyed egos. I guess when you're thinking moreabout getting a cupcake shoved in your face later on in the night you kind of forget aboutdodgeball for a bit right Terrance? Miss youuuuuuuu xoxoxo The highlight of the match camewhen Joe and Eddie came up with yet another one of their patented and mesmerizing plays.They deemed it the "alley-oop," whatever that means. I myself did not see it, because I waslooking at just how awful the ladies LNHBs looked in yoga pants, but if Dickie V was presentat the game he would have called both Joe and Eddie PTP'ers and their alley-oop play"SUPER, SCINTILLATING, SENSATIONAL!!!" (I'll go ahead and ask either Joe or Eddie toelaborate further on what is an alley-oop in dodgeball.) In the end the score had one ratherlarge number, I think like 30-something in favor of us, to a rather minuscule number forthem, -2 perhaps? Side note: What Terrence & Co. lack in dodgeball prowess they more thanmake up for it on the dance floor, especially the ladies.......what happened? I blacked out.

All in all it was a great night for NYAJs. Whether it be the power of the sleeve (which I don'tneed but wear anyways because it makes me look cool), Joe and Eddie's uncanny ability tocome up with plays on the spot, our impeccable skeeball skills or just playing against crappyteams, NYAJs showed just how dominant we can be in a plethora of different areas.

No douchebags were harmed or created during the making of this thread.- Jamie Hopkins

Team write-ups

So another great week for YKMB!!! Yet again ourladies kicked butt and took names. They seem to berunning marathons while the rest of us are done afterthe 5k:) It was pretty one sided but I have to give it toRings Around Uranus for stopping the shutout...finalscore being 15-1. We seemed to hit a few more girlsin the face than usual this week so please accept myapologies, our guys just seem to throw the high curveball alot. Oh yeah and I have to give the Mega Manaward to Mike P. because he seemed to have ablaster for an arm friday night. I think he at one pointgot 3 out with 3 throws in under 5 seconds. All in alleveryone on both sides seemed to have a really goodtime.

- El Capitan Shaun

My hats off to Ballsagna for being good sportsand playing even though they didn't have enoughplayers. Not sure exactly what to say about thegame. We weren't at our best, but we weren't atour worst either. Probably have to kick it in gearthis week and bring our A game against SnackPack City to finish out the seasonundefeated...whooooooooop deeeeewhooooooop....

- Tom Zuppke

Team write-ups

Clown babies, stimulating the Chesapeake economy onepitcher at a time...

In our quest to reach the one millionth pitcher mark by the endof the season, the Clown Babies gathered early for some freeskee ball and cheap beer prior to reffing the 8 o'clock game.After missing a few obvious calls because of our beer-inducedpoor judgment (sorry Snack Pack City), we went on to win ahard fought battle against Sloppy Seconds. The opponent wasformidable, but the Clown Babies’ girls were able to outlast,outwit and outplay the opponent's almost equally fierce girls.Back at MOB, BYSC's most eligible bachelor Clown Baby G withthe help of clown Baby J secured our team yet another pitcherin the skee ball tourney for having the best looking contestants.Because one night of drunken debauchery was not enough, theclown babies rallied Saturday night well into Sunday morningfor Clown Baby J's birthday bash. While Duke was dominatingUNC in basketball, one Clown Baby was putting on a clinic onthe beer pong table.

- Dan Youngsma

And lastly, we have Smooth Operator’s Dirty 30summarized in hashtags (cuz I can):

#MrCupcake #bib #bowties #Joshsballsinyourmouth#mmmmmeatballs #Jenmakesfunnysigns #bowties #NOredwine #fireball #morefireball#donttakepicsofurselfatthegym #bowties #the90swantsitsshirtbackChrisSnyder #Texasisnotanexuseforowningthatshirt #bowties #remembertorenewyourID #welostJeff#Keaganssucks #bowties

You’re welcome, Charm. This is my shortest write-upof all time J

Balls, Brannon

Team write-ups

We were missing our big guns, but that still is noexcuse for not brining it to the Clown Babies. TheBabies played hard and were ready to take us downone by one. I felt like I was the first one outeverytime. I could neither duck or dive away fromthe ball. I think I might of brought some bad luck bywearing a carolina blue long sleeved shirt before thegame...i don't know. We need to get back onplaying team ball. Overall it was a fun game. Noarguements and everyone played fair. It was apleasure playing the Clown Babies and can't wait fora rematch.

- Jon Reyes

Dodgeballs in your MOUTH did a greatjob last Friday. Even though I came 20minutes late, Dodgeballs were up 4-1.We did a good job targeting people oneby one and knocking out their bestplayers early. The girls, again, were thelast ones standing and won a fewmatches for the team. Great gameeveryone!

- James Salgado

Charity Skeeball

T O U R N A M E N TWHEN & WHEREMarch 23 ▪ 1 pm - 5 pmMillions of Beers 1701 Parkview DriveChesapeake, VA 23320

The DEETS$20 per person. You must go to www.backyardsportsclub.comto register under the “Tournaments” tab.

WHOYour team will consist of 2 players. There is no gender requirement.

SCORINGThe scoring works as follows: Players will alternate turns. At the conclusion of eachplayers turn, their score will be applied to the total score for that set. At the end ofthe set, the team with the highest cumulative score will win. The winner of the matchwill be the first team to win 3 sets.

PRIZESThe top two teams will receive trophies. There will be a 50/50 raffle and lots of greatprizes will be raffled off. Team costumes are strongly encouraged and prizes will begiven to best team costume.

ALL money raised will go to Sam Flowers medical bills!

Analyze THIS!

We can all thank Jamie Hop for no Analyze This section. Since he decided to complain about the last one I did, I am no longer doing

this section. So everyone put your hands together for the infamous loud mouth that doesn’t know when to stop….Jamie

Hopkins! Good job bud!

Just kidding….I just didn’t have time to do a write-up this week and there weren’t many pictures to select from. So hopefully I’ll have

one up next week! So instead of captions, I’ll just put up some pictures, and hopefully that will suffice.

The HookupGentlemen (and some ladies) let me present to you, Ms. Lily Castillo. She comes froman enchanted kingdom far far away the ancients called Me-hi-ko which is Latin for "tacobell". Its lands are blessed w rice, beans and opium. Lily is currently with the U.S. AirForce, which is hard to believe since scholars believe shes a decendant of GeneralAntonio Lopez de Santa Anna; the infamous general who captured the Alamo andmurdered Billy Bob Thornton. Maybe she's a spy? Or a Federale? Who knows..

All insensitive jokes aside, Lily is a great catch. She is a lover of wine, great food andAntonio Banderas movies. She is super smart too. I know since shes on my trivia teamand she can answer any Friends' related questions. She was also my partner once inCatch Phrase and we owned like a BOSS. Her brain size is equal to that of an averagemale, but still much larger than her other female counterparts. That's a scientific fact!Guys, please don't hesitate to ask this chica out. As long as you don't mistake her for aPuerto Rican as I once did, you won't get punch in the coccyx.

--by Joe Equitan

PS. She's got big boobs

DOUBLE Pitcher Contest

Congrats to Team Not Your Average Joe’s for winning in Skeeball. Good Job Megan and Joe! P.S. You’re spending too much time at Chuck E Cheese’s!

The Parents are gonna start to think ya’ll are creepers! Just sayin

“Thrift Shop King & Queen”

Each team will nominate 1 guy and 1 girl to represent their team.That couple will need to puts together their BEST Thrift StoreOutfit. The team that the judges deem best will win NOT ONLY thedouble pitcher contest, BUT ALSO the crown and title of “ThriftShop King & Queen.”

Friday March 15th Contest

7

Charities & Sponsor Barwww.backyardsportsclub.com

Drink Specials• $2.50 Pint Domestic Drafts

• $9 Domestic Pitchers

• $3.50 Well Cocktails

Provided to Each Winning Team• 1 pizza with 2 toppings at Eagles Nest

Or

• 20 wings at Million’s of Beers

CARPE FREEZUM at the coolest event of the year!

The Polar Plunge® Winter Festival is Special Olympics Virginia’s largest fundraiser, attractingmore than 10,000 people to an otherwise deserted beachfront in February. Individuals andteams, alongside our athletes and thousands of community members, experienceheartwarming and bone chilling extremes as they take the plunge into the icy Atlantic Oceanin the height of winter!

About Special Olympics

Special Olympics Virginia is a year-round program of sports training and athletic competitionfor children and adults with intellectual disabilities. We serve more than 10,000 athletesthroughout the Commonwealth. Thanks to a statewide volunteer network of more than20,000 and the support of generous partners throughout Virginia, athletes pay nothing toparticipate. And with nearly 2,000 events annually, including seven state-level competitionsand numerous extreme fundraisers like the Polar Plunge, we invite everyone to join us inour mission to open hearts and change minds about people with intellectual disabilities.

Chesapeake, Virginia Backyard Sports Club, Hampton Roads Crossfire League