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By email to all members of Swindon Phoenix Rotary Club, and some members of Foothill Highlands Rotary Club USA, Tappahannock Rotary Club USA, also Rotary Club Members in Australia, Indore and Bhopal

India and special supporters elsewhere The comments expressed in this newsletter, if not credited to someone else, are the thoughts & opinions of the Editor and

therefore may not be the opinions of all the members of the Rotary Club of Swindon Phoenix.

“eIヴetaヴ┞; P.P. Johﾐ Flaﾐagaﾐ

DistヴiIt Go┗eヴﾐoヴ P.P. Toﾐ┞ Horﾐ PHF

The Rotary Club of Swindon Phoenix DistriIt ヱヱヰヰ Eﾐglaﾐd

The ┘eekl┞ Hulleiﾐ ふaptl┞ ﾐaﾏedぶ

’The Birdy’ Pヴesideﾐt Geof Beale

Issue ﾐuﾏHer ヱΓヴ Voluﾏe ﾐuﾏHer ヴ

NuﾏHer ンヴ of this Rotar┞ Year ふe┝Iludiﾐg speIial issuesぶ

Ne┝t ┘eeks host is

PP Peter Collis

Editor; P P Peter Editor; P P Peter Editor; P P Peter Golds┘orth┞. Golds┘orth┞. Golds┘orth┞. P.H.F. “apphiヴe P.H.F. “apphiヴe P.H.F. “apphiヴe

“uH Editor ヲ; PP Peter ふGruﾏp┞ぶ Ne┘soﾐ PHF

Froﾏ PP Peter aHout NEXT WEEK — Would ┞ou please He kiﾐd eﾐough to ad┗eヴise iﾐ さThe Biヴd┞ざ foヴ ﾏe that oﾐ ﾏ┞ host ﾐight, ンヰth MaヴIh, ふﾐe┝t ┘eekぶ I ha┗e aヴヴaﾐged foヴ Bヴeﾐdaﾐ aﾐd Natasha Ball to gi┗e a pヴeseﾐtaioﾐ oﾐ deli┗eヴiﾐg theiヴ ﾐe┘ deﾐtal IliﾐiI to the Ukヴaiﾐe last ┞eaヴ – see photo.

I e┝peIt ┞ou ヴeﾏeﾏHeヴ Bヴeﾐdaﾐ fヴoﾏ the da┞s of Thaﾏesdo┘ﾐ ┘heﾐ he ga┗e a talk aHout the deﾐtal pヴoHleﾏs foヴ Ihildヴeﾐ iﾐ the Ukヴaiﾐe. I thought it ┘ould He iﾐteヴesiﾐg to heaヴ ho┘ thiﾐgs ha┗e pヴogヴessed. Would ┞ou also please iﾐIlude iﾐ さThe Bird┞ざ for ﾏe that Jaﾐ aﾐd I ha┗e a ﾐe┘ hoﾏe telephoﾐe ﾐuﾏHer ┘ith iﾏ-ﾏediate efeIt – ヰヱΑΓン ΒΒΑヵヰΓ.

Partﾐers are of Iourse as usual ┗er┞ ┘elIoﾏe to ateﾐd aﾐd I kﾐo┘ that Pegg┞ ┘ill He ┘ith ﾏe ふEditorぶ

Pヴesideﾐt EleIt NiIole PriIe

Pヴesideﾐt Noﾏiﾐee Nigel Caustoﾐ

Iﾏﾏediate Past Pヴesideﾐt & CluH Tヴeasuヴeヴ

Da┗id Coe

“uH Editor; PP Paul ふSIoopぶ Parfre┞ PHF

“┘iﾐdoﾐ Phoeﾐi┝ Rotar┞ CluH Hoﾐoured ReIipieﾐt;

ヲヰヱヶ Pride of “┘iﾐdoﾐ Teaﾏ A┘ard

“uH editor ン; Rtﾐ Chris ふSuper SIriHeぶ “iﾏs

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members attend as possible to meet David. He already knows Chris Simms because apparent-ly they used to meet on the train a lot! Well that has to be better than at the loo in the park I guess!!

This year’s Bruce Trust barge week has now been paid for and PP Paul Parfrey is working on the schedule for the week so more infor-mation is to follow.

Well, that’s it from me so not too much to report but what there was is all very good

PP David

Editor adds: Next week both Grumpy and Hap-py (me) will be attending with respective lady partners and will then present the holiday gifts for the next charity Barrel as the ladies do play a large part in what we are allowed to purchase (shopping with them is funny really - it’s one of those wonderful partnership things … a bit like going to the supermarket with them and finding the treats we chaps had surreptitiously popped into the trolley are somehow mysteriously no longer there and have been placed back on the shelf by the time we get to the checkout!)

On another matter I would like to thank our Almoner Gail for the nice ‘accident’ card I have received after the little mishap during our holiday with Alan & Gill in Indonesia and I now eagerly await the case of red Malbec wine that I am sure the club must have ordered for me to aid my recov-ery!!!! Thank you too, to all of you who emailed me text us and also phoned us when we got home, your concern was very much appreciated and I have to say that I didn't send the picture for that reason just that if Kevin Brown could get a get well card I thought I should too. Both Peggy and I are well on the mend and re-alise we have been so very lucky. Thank you again The Golds!

Meeting March 23rd Council followed by Business and Felowship

Host IPP David Coe

Our meeting this week was opened with, as host, my memories of Grace for which I am sure all present will be eternally grateful and ever mindful of the needs of others but par-ticularly Grace!!

We all enjoyed a hot and spicy carrot and coriander soup followed by a very hot plate of Turkey and trimmings – not a squeaky bean in sight. Not too much to report this week as it was council followed by B&F. However, some key points were discussed during the meeting with the great news that Dick Lovett BMW Swindon will be our main sponsors for the Dragon Boat day this year in June. Hopefully this relationship can con-tinue for some time to come. PP John Fisher confirmed that posters and leaflets are being printed now and we hope, on a date to be agreed, to have as many of our members and partners available to meet up in a local pub, then do a mass leaflet drop and meet up again in the same, or different, pub! Many hands make for light work and importantly more time in the pub.

It is important that all members help to dis-tribute posters and leaflets across Swindon in shop windows and business’ since promo-tion of the event is essential to the continued success of such a fantastic event which is growing year on year.

President Geoff has decided with the support of council to hold the next two council meet-ing during the normal B&F meeting. This is to try and engage more non council mem-bers with what goes on in Council so we hope that as many members as possible will but the 20th April & 18th May in your diaries early.

Later in April we will have a guest joining us, David Owen, who is looking to join our club and he is attending our meeting on the 20th April so it would be nice to see as many

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All MeﾏHers - Yes, this ﾏeaﾐs YOU!

As ┞ou kﾐe┘ ┘e ha┗e aﾐ eﾐ┗iaHle IolleIioﾐ of IluH eケuipﾏeﾐt iﾐ-Iludiﾐg Maヴケuees, GazeHo’s, a “aﾐta “leigh, taHles, Ihaiヴs, CluH Flag & Pole, plus featheヴ Haﾐﾐeヴs aﾐd ﾏuIh ﾏoヴe!

NOW ┘e ﾐeed a plaIe a ﾐe┘ ┗eﾐue to stoヴe it URGENTLY -ヴaIk

┞ouヴ Hヴaiﾐs foヴ a dヴ┞ gaヴage ┘e Iaﾐ ヴeﾐt oヴ ha┗e doﾐated oヴ soﾏethiﾐg siﾏilaヴ…. PLEA“E do ﾐot lea┗e it to aﾐother ﾏeﾏHer theﾐ IoﾐtaIt PP PAUL Parfre┞ ┘ith ┞our IoﾐtaIt iﾐfo forth┘ith. Thaﾐk ┞ou!

B┞ the ┘a┞, this is URGENT!

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“aturda┞ ヲンrd April

Ha┗e ┞ou eﾐtered this iﾏportaﾐt date iﾐ ┞our diaries? The IluH ﾐeeds

YOUR support.

If ┞ou REALLY Iaﾐﾐot ﾏake it, ho┘ aHout seﾐdiﾐg a frieﾐd aloﾐg to ill iﾐ for ┞ou?

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Geof,

Iaﾐ has asked ﾏe to foヴ┘aヴd this eﾏail oﾐ to ┞ou.

Golds, ha┗e Iopied ┞ou iﾐ just iﾐ Iase ┞ou ┘aﾐt it foヴ the ﾐe┝t Biヴd┞.

Thaﾐks NiIole

From: Ian Price <Ian.Price@sjp.co.uk>

Subject: RE: Pride of Swindon Awards 2016

Date: 20 March 2016 07:42:27 GMT

Deaヴ NiIole ,

I ┘ould He gヴateful if ┞ou Iould pass this oﾐto Geof .

さI ┘ould like to Ioﾐgヴatulate e┗eヴ┞oﾐe iﾐ ┘iﾐﾐiﾐg a teaﾏ Pヴide of “┘iﾐdoﾐ a┘aヴd .

I kﾐo┘ as a Rotaヴ┞ CluH ┞ou do so ﾏuIh to ヴaise ﾏoﾐe┞ foヴ LoIal Chaヴiies aﾐd ha┗e ﾏade a ヴeal difeヴeﾐIe to so ﾏaﾐ┞ loIal Ihaヴiies . I also kﾐo┘ that ┞ou do ﾐot go out to get ヴeIogﾐiioﾐ aﾐd it is faﾐtasiI that the IluH has had this aﾏaziﾐg ヴeIogﾐi-ioﾐ , I Helie┗e that ┞ou aヴe the oﾐl┞ Rotaヴ┞ CluH iﾐ “┘iﾐdoﾐ to ha┗e e┗eヴ ヴeIei┗ed this a┘aヴd ┘hiIh ﾏakes it e┗eﾐ ﾏoヴe speIial .

I aﾏ pヴoud to He iﾐ soﾏe sﾏall ┘a┞ IoﾐﾐeIted to the IluH Hut it is do┘ﾐ to all ┞ouヴ ﾏeﾏHeヴs foヴ the ┘oヴk that the┞ do oﾐ a ┞eaヴ H┞ ┞eaヴ Hasis .

Well doﾐe to e┗eヴ┞oﾐe .

Kind Regards

Ian

Ian Price

Heヴe’s a iﾐk to the Ad┗eヴ just Ioﾐtヴol IliIk it oﾐ ┞ouヴ PC

htp://┘┘┘.s┘iﾐdoﾐad┗eヴiseヴ.Io.uk/ﾐe┘s/ヱヴンヵヲヴヱヶ.Pヴide_of_“┘iﾐdoﾐ_A┘aヴds_IeleHヴate_the_toast_of_the_to┘ﾐ/

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I changed

my car horn to gun-shot sounds. People move

out of the way much faster now!

Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers.

I don't like making plans for the day because then the word "premeditated" gets thrown around in the court-room.

I didn't make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row.

I decided to change calling the bathroom the John and renamed it the Jim. I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.

Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven't met yet...

I don't need anger management. I need people to stop irritating me!

Old age is coming at a really bad time!

When I was a child I thought nap time was a punish-ment. Now, as a grown up, it just feels like a small va-cation!

The biggest lie I tell myself is: "I don't need to write that down. I'll remember it."

My people skills are just fine. It's my tolerance of idiots that needs working on.

If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would've put them on my knees.

My kids text me "plz" which is shorter than please. I text back "no" which is shorter than "yes."

I'm going to retire and live off of my savings. Not sure what I'll do the second month.

I've lost my mind and I'm pretty sure my wife took it!

Even duct tape can't fix stupid, but it can muffle the sound!

Why do I have to press one for English when you're just gonna transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?

Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice

Thanks Andrew Whiting

As I was driving home and worrying about all the stuff going on in my life, my family's lives, my friends' lives and what's happening in Paris, Wash-ington, Moscow, Ukraine, the Middle East, Justin, Trump, CBC News, the downgrading of our mili-tary, 25,000 Syrian refugees, the terrorists infiltrat-ing our border, the illegals, and how our country is rapidly losing its sanity and its Christianity, I saw a

Jokes

‘on the Birdy’s wing’ yard sign that said:

NEED HELP? CALL JESUS 1-800-555-3787

Out of curiosity and desperation, I called the number.

A Mexican showed up with a lawnmower

Thaﾐks Lilliaﾐ iﾐ Oz

A ﾏale paieﾐt is l┞iﾐg iﾐ Hed iﾐ the hospital, ┘eaヴiﾐg aﾐ o┝┞geﾐ

ﾏask o┗eヴ his ﾏouth aﾐd ﾐose. A ┞ouﾐg studeﾐt ﾐuヴse appeaヴs aﾐd gi┗es hiﾏ a paヴial spoﾐge Hath. "Nuヴse,"' he ﾏuﾏHles fヴoﾏ Hehiﾐd the ﾏask, "aヴe ﾏ┞ tesiIles HlaIk?"

EﾏHaヴヴassed, the ┞ouﾐg ﾐuヴse ヴeplies, "I doﾐ't kﾐo┘, “iヴ. I'ﾏ oﾐl┞ heヴe to ┘ash ┞ouヴ uppeヴ Hod┞ aﾐd feet. He stヴuggles to ask agaiﾐ, "Nuヴse, please IheIk foヴ ﾏe. Aヴe ﾏ┞

tesiIles HlaIk?"

CoﾐIeヴﾐed that he ﾏight ele┗ate his Hlood pヴessuヴe aﾐd heaヴt ヴate fヴoﾏ ┘oヴヴ┞iﾐg aHout his tesiIles, she o┗eヴIoﾏes heヴ eﾏ-Haヴヴassﾏeﾐt aﾐd pulls HaIk the Io┗eヴs. “he ヴaises his go┘ﾐ, holds his ﾏaﾐhood iﾐ oﾐe haﾐd aﾐd his tes-iIles iﾐ the otheヴ. “he looks ┗eヴ┞ Ilosel┞ aﾐd sa┞s, "Theヴe's ﾐothiﾐg ┘ヴoﾐg ┘ith theﾏ, “iヴ. The┞ look iﾐe."

The ﾏaﾐ slo┘l┞ pulls of his o┝┞geﾐ ﾏask, sﾏiles at heヴ, aﾐd sa┞s

┗eヴ┞ slo┘l┞, "Thaﾐk ┞ou ┗eヴ┞ ﾏuIh. That ┘as ┘oﾐdeヴful. No┘ listeﾐ ┗eヴ┞, ┗eヴ┞ Ilosel┞. Aヴe - ﾏ┞ – test - ヴesults - HaIk?" Thaﾐks Thilo Koヴk

Barack Obama, at a recent rural elementary school as-sembly in South Carolina, asked the audience for total quiet. Then, in the silence, he started to slowly clap his hands once every few seconds, holding the audience in total silence. Then he said into the microphone, 'Children, every time I clap my hands together, a child in America dies from gun violence.' Then, little Darrell, with a proud South Carolina drawl, pierced the quiet and said: "Well, dumb ass, stop clap-pin'!” I sorta doubt that is true Golds!

This is Lexi, she’s an 8 week-old German Shep-pard, I bought Lexi as a surprise for my wife but it turns out she is allergic to dogs so we are now looking to find her a new home.

She is 39 years old, a beautiful and caring woman who drives, is a great cook and keeps a good house.

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Saturday ヲンrd April ふSt Georges Dayぶ

Kﾐow Your Blood Pressure Day Bruﾐel Ceﾐtre

Suﾐday ヲ6th Juﾐe Our ヴth Dragoﾐ Boat RaIe

ヲヰヱ6 Coate Water

The OHjeIt of Rotar┞ is to eﾐIouヴage aﾐd fosteヴ the ideal of seヴ┗iIe as a Hasis of ┘oヴth┞ eﾐteヴpヴise aﾐd, iﾐ paヴiIulaヴ, to eﾐIouヴage aﾐd fosteヴ:

ヱぶThe de┗elopﾏeﾐt of aIケuaiﾐtaﾐIe as aﾐ oppoヴtuﾐit┞ foヴ seヴ┗iIe;

ヲぶ High ethiIal staﾐdaヴds iﾐ Husiﾐess aﾐd pヴofessioﾐs, the ヴeIogﾐiioﾐ of the ┘oヴthiﾐess of all useful oIIupaioﾐs, aﾐd the digﾐif┞iﾐg of eaIh Rotaヴiaﾐ’s oIIupaioﾐ as aﾐ oppoヴtuﾐit┞

to seヴ┗e soIiet┞;

ンぶ The appliIaioﾐ of the ideal of seヴ┗iIe iﾐ eaIh Rotaヴiaﾐ’s peヴsoﾐal, Husiﾐess, aﾐd Ioﾏﾏuﾐit┞ life;

ヴぶ The ad┗aﾐIeﾏeﾐt of iﾐteヴﾐaioﾐal uﾐdeヴstaﾐdiﾐg, good┘ill, aﾐd peaIe thヴough a ┘oヴld fello┘ship of Husiﾐess aﾐd pヴofes-sioﾐal peヴsoﾐs uﾐited iﾐ the ideal of seヴ┗iIe.

ふIt is ﾐot usual to read the ﾐuﾏHers aloud wheﾐ reIiiﾐg the oHjeItぶ

That’s all Folks !- but remember,

we are a

Rotary Club of the 21st Century

Find more information on Swindon Phoenix Rotary on your pc;

Just control + click on these hyper links below

swindonphoenixrotary.org.uk

Previous bulletins thephoenixbulletin.weebly.com

Our Santa Run swindonsanta.org.uk

Dragon Boat Event www.dragonboatswindon.org.uk

Ffind us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/SwindonPhoenixRotary?ref=hl

On twitter https://twitter.com

Fri ヱst Jul┞ ヲヰヱヶ

Presideﾐt’s

Eﾐd Of Year Ball

details TBA