Now stop complaining and finish your bingo.

GRUMPY CAT

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CRYSTAL ‘Meh’

EU and whose Army?

By Natascha EwertUNODC Sketch Writer

Straight after the mock debate, the delegates of the UN-ODC voted for the agenda of yester-day’s session: crystal meth, the new power drug. It’s cheap, ef-fective, and provides supernatural powers – exactly what this committee is lack-ing at the moment (apart from a few ex-ceptions: there two smart candidates).

Candidate 1: Czech Republic: What the hell am I doing here?

Even though, in yes-terday’s morning session, he gave the impression that he had no clue what the chairs were talk-

ing about when they went through the rules of procedure, a metamorphosis occurred over the course of the day. The annoying, but Clau-dia Schiffer-like del-egate of Spain (who might be responsible for the huge coloni-zation of Spaniards currently dominating the hostel), defends the idea that “pros-ecution prevents traffickers to other countries the market of crystal meth.” Ap-parently influenced by the mock debate’s topic on punish-ment, the delegate of Spain insists on it strongly. However, the representative of the Czech Republic intervened, and ex-pressed clearly that prevention proce-

dures are important because prosecution can’t work effective-ly without public awareness. Other-wise, the campaign couldn’t be realized. Education, my dele-gates is therefore the basis for everything. Well, done honoura-ble delegate of Czech Republic!

Candidate 2: The DPRK against the rest - their working pa-pers are just a waste of time and energy.

The Democratic Peo-ple’s Republic of Ko-rea has another tactic to provoke discussion in the UNODC. How? By using telepathic powers , of course. Being offended by the outspoken dele-gate of the US (which

he describes as being “blinded by capitalist greed”) the delegate for North Korea had the courage to an-nounce that the dis-tribution of crystal meth and other drugs isn’t present in his country.

However, his passive, but aggressive behav-iour during the whole session is a model for other delegates.

So here’s the ultimate advice by your fellow journalist: just sit around, pretend that you know nothing, and you will succeed!

For more of Na-tascha’s scathing reports, visit bna.berlinmun.de

Battle group or Peacekeeping group? Green berets or blue helmets? This is the question the Europe-an Council has been trying to answer.By Arturo Sanchez BarbadoEuropean Corre-spondent

This intense debate originated as a result of the deadly Ukrain-ian situation. Nerv-ous Poland, the UK, and Sweden believe the latest events to be enough excuse to divert forces from Africa and other re-gions, and put them into Eastern Europe to defend the mem-ber states from Rus-sia. Belgium, Spain, and Croatia showed their opposition to this idea, insisting that the focus should

remain a peacekeep-

UNODC IN APATHY ROW OVER WORLD’S MOST DANGEROUS DRUG Frustrated: Czech Republic remains one

of the few motivated debaters

Blue Helmet on patrol Source: Frea Kama Juno

All the latest news, photos, and gossip from BerlinMUN 2014 at bna.berlinmun.de

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By Alessia PascazioCourt Reporter

4pm Nuremberg Courtroom – At the end of the day the Prosecution finally made it: they deliv-ered their opening speech.

After waiting for al-most the whole day, the Court heard the Prosecution charge Hermann Göring with war crimes, crimes against hu-manity, and crimes against peace.

Declaring that in-dividual, not State, responsibility is to be taken into ac-count during the Trials, the Prosecu-tors obviously sup-ported their speech mentioning the Nazi

German state’s viola-tion of the Treaty of Versailles and of the Briand-Kellogg pact. Not really a good co-herent start – anyway very different from the Defence’s open-ing speech. They ad-dressed the Court to ask for a fair trial that should “bring justice. Nothing less, nothing more.”

The Defence Coun-sel reminded all the parties that all De-fendants on trial are among the few who did not cowardly commit suicide after the end of the World, like Hitler himself did. Defendants at the Nuremberg Tri-als will face the con-sequences of their responsibilities – yet they are not guilty in

the sense the Prose-cution suggested.

Göring’s addiction to morphine and the influence Hitler’s personality had on German population must be kept in mind to understand the Defendant’s altered rationality. The De-fence recognised that of course Göring was not completely una-ware of what he was doing during World War II, but there are mitigating factors to be considered.

Her Excellency Tereza Kureckova for the Defence con-cluded the speech by stating that “the Court cannot punish the fact that one set of international prin-ciples was broken by breaking other inter-national principles.”

Undoubtedly the Na-zis did violate many international conven-tions, but that does not mean that the IMT or the London Charter should forget about the fundamen-tal legal principle that goes: no crime without a pre-exist-ing law.

EU and whose Army? - continued from p. 1be the Balkans and Eastern Europe, as well as the Mediter-ranean.

Baltic countries stressed that their situation is not ideal, since the only securi-ty organisation they belong to is the Euro-pean Council - even though their own neutrality policies means they wouldn’t help any non-defen-sive strike anyway! Northernmost Fin-land pointed out that common assistance should be enough for the EU, as long as it doesn’t obey the interest of a select group of countries trying to push their own agenda, and of-fers equal security to all member states.

Protecting member states from Russia seems to be the main

focus of the discus-sion, and the repre-sentatives have put economical matters aside in order to dis-cuss whether peace-keeping should be enforced, or if Europe needs a battle group that is ready for war. The only mention of funding during the session was Croatia’s proposition of invest-ing in common train-ing for the troops, thus increasing their efficiency. This meas-ure was criticised by Bulgaria due to the tactical, linguistic, and technological differences among armies.

However, as noted by the Czech Repub-lic, there seems to be agreement on one matter: all countries support the creation of a common training center for the battle groups.

NUREMBERG TRIALS OPENING SPEECHES: WARNING, YOU MAY BE PAINFULLY DIS-APPOINTED

Mr Nice’s Gossip CornerAfter an extended period of hiberna-tion in the Arctic, Mr Nice is back with all this conference’s gossip!By Mr Nice

Hello my lovelies! Good to be back, spreading lies, slander, and deceit amongst everyone’s favourite MUN! For example... Quote of the day:“Will you be going hard tonight?”“Of course! At conference, you go hard or you go to the HRC.”

The delegate of the US in the Security Council has been quoted as saying “We don’t need to listen to the African Union. They are all African dictators anyway.” Them’s fighting words!

Get more gossip online! Feeling the heat: The prosecution needs to step up or step out.