the brant advocate, issue 4, december 2011

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  • 7/28/2019 The Brant Advocate, Issue 4, December 2011

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    www.brantadvocate.com Facebook: The Brant Advocate Twitter: @BrantAdvocate

    December 2011

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    When we began working on The Advocate six monthsago, I knew that we were creating a publication that couldbecome a vehicle for positive and productive discussion in acommunity that needed it. That was our intention from themoment we began assembling our faculty of writers, and thatcontinues to be our intention now.

    There was also a second component to the discussionthat we also wanted to add, and that was to both create andsponsor events that would help move things forward. Bringpeople to Brantford whocould add to the dialogue of positivity, and sponsor eventsthat were doing the same.

    On November 3rd, wetook our first step in providing

    events for our community bypresenting Craig Cardiff at theBrantford Station Gallery.Cardiff has strong family tiesto Brantford, and he has written songs about memories that hehas of Brant. Craig has performed in Brantford several timesbefore, but this appearance gave him the opportunity to

    promote his newest album, Floods and Fires. For more aboutCraig, check out an excerpt of Bethany Schultzs interviewwith him on page 11.

    I was overwhelmed when I walked in to a packed houseat the Brantford Station Gallery. I had expected to see manyfriends and colleagues that evening, but instead found a roomfull of people that I had never seen before. They knew of Craigs music, and they knew about The Advocate, but most of the faces were

    incredibly unfamiliar. In thespirit of moving forward, this wasthe crowd I was really hoping for.

    The Craig Cardiff show representedthe start of something great. Itrepresented the start of living up

    to our expectations by providingour community with entertainingevents that would help create apositive dialogue. Its a dialogue

    that talks about Brantford as a place where fun things happen,where good people live, and where cool stories are told. This isthe dialogue in our community that The Advocate works to create.

    In 2012, The Advocate plans to support the communityin many different forms. We plan to continue to find entertainingevents that will reach out to different parts of our community inthe hopes of promoting positive and productive discussions inour community. We will look for opportunities to help shine thelight on existing events that serve to create a sense of prideabout where we live, work, and play. We want to reach out toour community to encourage everyone to tell the stories thathave made, and will continue to make, our community a greatplace to be.

    We are going to do what we can to continue to createthe community we want to live in by providing a voice for thestories of Brant. Now its your turn

    Over the coming months, we want to hear from you.We want to know what you have to say about how to continue

    to create a better community for everyone. Bring us your ideas.Share your thoughts with us. Tell us your stories. Advocate forsomething positive.

    Just The BeginningEditorial by Andrew Macklin

    I weigh 283 pounds. My weight is creeping back up tothe highest it has ever been in my adult life - 297 pounds.

    Ive almost always been big. Ive found ways to maskit, hide it, make jokes about it, deal with it and move on. But Idont believe I should move on. Its time to do more about it.

    Its not something I admit to everyone. Ive alwaysstruggled with my weight. Its more than a little embarrassingand it has a personal effect. It is a confidence sapper and notbecause of other people. In my adult life my weight hasntstopped me from any job, relationship or achievement. I justdont like it. I dont like it and thats enough. I know there aremany other readers out there who can relate.

    As a kid it wasnt always the case. When your lastname can be so easily changed from Laferriere to La-fat-der-rire its going to be an impediment. And yes, its ok to laugh at

    that last line.

    Being anywhere close to 300 pounds scares me. Thehealth complications can be intense and while I may be young,the consequences will catch up to me if not corrected. Evennow, as a thirty-year-old, it is beginning. Im starting to feelknee troubles. I have an unrelated back injury that is no doubtmade much worse by my weight. That constant pull from thestomach is no good for any lower back. I know it affects mysleep too and my energy levels.

    People are big for all kinds of reasons. I know there aregenetic pieces (I come from a big family), and societal pieces(seriously, how many commercials for food can there be), andmany other learned and psychological reasons. I had an oddepiphany the other day followed by a phone call that I thinkwill help. I go to the Farmers Market a lot. Yet every week ortwo I find myself throwing out fruits and vegetables. Not a ton

    but enough that it bugs me. I love these foods so why am Ithrowing them out? I grew up a welfare kid. I know it has acleaned up name now and I respect that but it didnt back then.You were a welfare kid, or you were not. I definitely was. Acheque once a month, no car and no accessible grocery storesnear our Eagle Place home meant we went for groceries once amonth. In a situation like that you buy your food very carefully.It has to last a month and you cant spend too much. Needlessto say fresh fruits and vegetables were sacred and relegated toabout a 3 or 4 day window of post-grocery shopping bliss.

    As an adult, I still think like that 9 year-old boy and tryto save the good stuff. Its sick. I know better. Im an adult nowbut the lean towards thatkind of thinking remains.The still-too-fresh scars of having lived without. I havemuch to unlearn when it

    comes to fitness and nutri-tion.

    Of course its hardand I have all the excuses inthe world. Im a therapistand sitting is the norm. I got used to poor eating habits as achild that that haunt me still. Im busy with work. Im busywith community events. Im busy with The Advocate. Im justbusy.

    At the end of the day while true they are just excuses. Ican re-prioritize. I can drop some of the things I do for the sakeof my health and quality of life and I can learn new things. Itwill be hard. I dont want to make a lot of lifestyle changes.Truth be told, I really like my life except for this one thing thathas always been in the background. But that one thing is prettymajor; I weigh 283 pounds and its simply not healthy.

    Recently, Steve Kostoff, one of my old universityroommates gave me a call. Hes a great friend and has been atrainer for years. Steve is a natural athlete who has gonebeyond his given gifts to learn so much more about fitness,sports, psychology and nutrition. He had seen a music videoIda Adamowicz and Evan Champagne did for The Advocate.Im in it briefly. He saw it, saw I was getting bigger and calledme to tell me something I frankly needed to hear. Marc I sawthe video you posted. Im worried about you. Let me help.

    Thats the kind of honesty you can have between goodfriends. And the words let me help can be a very big deal insomeones life. Im tired of not being able to figure out how to

    do this on my own and Imgrateful to have a friend willingto help.

    Over the next 6 months

    we will be documenting the journey online at the KhaoticTraining website, Facebookpage and our twitter feeds(@MarcLaferriere &@SKostoff) and offering tips

    on conditioning and nutrition along the way from the point of view of both the trainer and the novice who has no idea whathe is about to get himself into. It promises to be a bit embarrassing,wholly interesting and we hope educational and motivational tothose on a similar journey.

    We want to help others and at the end of the next 6months I might just be able to write a column that wont startwith the opening line I weigh 283 pounds.

    The Thing That Scares MeBy Marc Laferriere

    1100 Clarence Street South Suite 102 Brantford, Ontario N3S 7N8 P: 519 751 HELP (4357) F: 519 751 0810 E: [email protected] ad is proudly sponsored by King & Benton.

    CRS Employment Services. Start working now! Community ResourceEmployment Services provides free individual and job search support tohelp you find the right job. No scheduled appointment is needed just walk in!

    CRS Foodbank and Distribution. It could happen to any of us. Manypeople in our community live with just enough money to make it throughthe month, having to choose between buying groceries or paying the rent.

    CRS Advocacy. Our Advocacy Service is a free service provided to assistindividuals needing support with government benefit programs. This servicewill help you if you have been denied benefits, or if your benefits havebeen discontinued.

    CRS Christmas Baskets. Its a simple goal. To ensure that no child goeswithout a toy at Christmas, and that no family goes without ChristmasDinner. The Christmas Baskets Program provides Christmas Dinner andtoys to eligible individuals, families and children within the our community.

    Thats the kind of honesty you canhave between good friends. And the

    words let me help can be a very bigdeal in someones life.

    The Craig Cardiff show representedthe start of something great. Itreprsented the start of living up

    to our expectations.

    December 2011www.brantadvocate.com Facebook: The Brant Advocate Twitter: @BrantAdvocate Page 2

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    December 2011 www.brantadvocate.com Facebook: The Brant Advocate Twitter: @BrantAdvocate Page 3

    Carefully unzipping a narrowopening, so as not to wake my family, Icrawled out of our simple tentwhich wouldbe our home for the next little while. Myfeet were greeted with sharp dry grass, myface with a cool gentle breeze and my first

    morning breath had a hint of the fadingcampfire that had burned all night. I openedmy eyes to see the sun rising over the animaldotted horizon of the Massai Mara in thesame majestic way it set over the solitaryacacia tree the night before.

    This was the center of the earth. Thiswas the place where man and animalco-habitate freely as it was since thebeginning of time. This was Africa.

    For the next three weeks, my wife,our two children and I would have the privilegeof being a part of a medical /dental missionto the Massai Mara area of Kenya. We

    joined an international team, gathered fromCanada, the United States and the UnitedKingdom to travel to the remote areas of the

    region and service its amazing people.

    We would rise at the crack of dawn,break down our camp if needed and quicklybe on our way. Some days we were just awalk away from the MASH unit we wouldset up to serve as the clinic for a day or two.Other days our commute was a 3 hour drivealong carved out dirt roads that were so rough,our Canadian pot holes were mere divots bycomparison. Morning traffic consisted of wildebeest, gazelles and zebras. A traffic

    jam was due to the crossing of a herd of ele-phant and one would always stop at thesighting of a pack of lions.

    No matter where or when we arrived,we would always be greeted by a sea of inquisitive and happy people of all ages.They would look like a painters palate withall the vibrant colors of their dress adornedwith their native beaded earrings, necklacesand anklets.

    Wed quickly get the clinic organizedand start to make our way through triagingthe never ending line of people that wouldappear from as far as your eye could see.

    I was one of six dentists providing a servicefor which many of these people had neverseen. So one by one we would take care of their immediate dental needs.

    A tribal Massai elder who hadwalked over 30km to be seen sat on a two byfour makeshift bench outside of the dentalarea. He was dressed in a traditional, vibrantred cloth and had chiselled, stone-face fea-tures. No one, including himself, knew howold he was or how long he had had a dentalproblem but he was none the less happy tobe finally seen. Regardless of the lack of spoken word, we were able to communicate.He laughed at my attempt at Swahili butamused me all the same. With the aid of alocal translator we agreed that he wouldrequire a tooth to be extracted. He nodded tome in acknowledgement, his eyes giving mehis consent and trust. After his treatment hesat for a while, got up, turned to me andplaced his hand on my shoulder. We lookedat each other silently and exchanged smiles.He nodded to me once again, picked up his5-foot branch that had been shaped into awalking stick, turned and walked away. Hishunched body hobbled into the mass of richcolor and was soon lost amongst the crowd.

    As much as I wanted to take in thewhole experience of the last twenty minutes,there looking up at me with her sparklingeyes and expressionless face was a beautiful

    little girl anxiously waiting her turn. Behindher an African woman with her infant slungaround her shoulders and her other twochildren sheepishly being pushed in front of her. The line continued like this all day,every day.

    Over the years I have been on manyother dental missions to various parts of theworld. This was unlike any other.

    Never had a place or people continuouslytouched on so many emotions; each dayliving out of a page of National Geographic.Experiencing all the beauty of the sights,sounds and smells of the country, yet hearingand touching those affected by the underlyingsocial injustice that is still so prevalent. Thisagain was Africa.

    My wife and I bring the childrenalong to show them first hand that there is awhole world out there filled with amazingpeople who have far less than us, but areequally as happy. We also want to exposethem to great people who can come togetherregardless of race, creed or nationality, allwith the same common basic goal of wantingto help people in need.

    The experiences that I walk awaywith from being on these trips far outweighany of the time, money, and service that Iprovide. I always thank the people of these

    countries for allowing me the privilege andentrusting me to serve them. Unfortunatelyit gets lost in translation, but we all walkaway with a smile on our faces.

    People are always saying how they

    wish they could go on one of these missiontrips. I truly wish they could, as it puts awhole new perspective on appreciating whatwe have and not taking things for granted.

    In this December edition I find itfitting to advocate for the spirit of giving.One does not need to go overseas to help.People in our own country, people in ourown city, are in need. Giving comes in manyforms, all equally as important as the next.Whether it is monetary, food, clothing, onestime or even a simple smile, we all have it inus to help someone.

    So whether it is a remote village inAfrica or our home in Brantford, my Christmaswish will remain to be peace on earth andgoodwill to all.

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    December 2011www.brantadvocate.com Facebook: The Brant Advocate Twitter: @BrantAdvocate Page 4

    Inglorious HeroesIts 2 a.m. when he lays down his hammer. Aside

    from the scattered hubs of nightlife, the city is quiet. Afterthe short drive home, he crawls into bed beside his wife andtries to sleep away the exhaustion. Hes not a big shot or aguy you see out much. He doesnt have a fancy title or evenincome security. On the outside, he is a pretty regular man,but he is one of Brantfords many superheroes.

    For the last month, Trevor Beecraft, the regional di-rector of Why Not City Missions, has been working feverishlyto finish the renovations on Why Not Youth Centres newbuilding on Colborne Street so that its services could resume.Its not glorious work by a long shot.

    We dont often juxtapose wrestling old beams anditchy pink insulation out of basements with the deeds of childhood favourites like Spiderman and Wolverine. Maybeits the fact that superheroes like Trevor wear ratty jeans andpaint-splattered tees while on the job instead of fancy tightsand cool capes. Or maybe, according to the less fun but morerealistic argument, its because comic books simply arentwritten about guys like Trevor.

    The fact is that comic books arent written about anyof the Trevors out therethe teachers who go above andbeyond, the leisure-sacrificing moms wanting to bring theirkids up right, the jaded mentors, the volunteer coaches or thekids who take care of their grandmothers property.

    Comic books feature buffed up dudes in action at epicscenes getting wide attention that they usually claim to neverhave sought. But our heroes, the ones in our community whochange lives, who change cities, dont get credit. Theres nodazzling uniform, and no exclamation marks appear at theend of caps-locked sentences in bubbles beside snazzycaricatures on the pages of colourful leaflets. Nope. Itsworking away in ratty old jeans to the tunes that screechfrom static-filled radios at two in the morning while nailingin baseboards.

    And dont get me wrong. Hats off to Captain Kindnessfor being such a nifty manifestation of proactivity in theBrant community. We all need reminders to show neighbourlylove. I hope that kindnesss red and black mascot serves as acatalyst for the births of more and more inglorious heroes.

    That said, there are an incredible number of peopleIve met during my years in Brantford who deserve to put theword hero on their resumes. I raise my battered green waterbottle in their directions. Cheers to the selfless communityadvocates, the politicians and family folks, the idealisticyouth and the hardworking adults. To the individuals and togroups, I pray that your efforts never become a reward-seek-ing endeavour, but that you continue to do things simplybecause they are good. Right now though, I present to you asincere thank-you for the devotion you give to your causes. Itwas meeting people like you that had a huge impact on mylife and the way I live it today. Dont ever underestimate thevalue of your work.

    Think about the people who have had profoundimpacts on your life. How many of them have you actuallythanked? Chances are, a lot of people probably should havethanked you, even for doing tasks as tedious as nailing inbaseboards.

    Those of you who are Trevors out there, keep yourfigurative tights on, because you are making a worldof difference.

    It's easy to look the other way when there's aproblem. It's easy to assume someone else will fix it. It's easyto turn a blind eye to those in need. What isn't easy is to takethe time to change it. If you are the kind of person who canlook a wrong in the face no matter how challenging or how

    much it pulls on you r heart strings and makes that wrong aright than you are someone like Tina Weicker.

    For 12 years, Tina has been adopting and lovingGreat Danes. Her first Dane wasacquired through Danes in Distress, anon-profit organization run by a handfulof wonderful caring people who sharethe same passion as Tina. So when Tinadecided it was time to volunteer to helpa cause that she was passionate about,Danes in Distress was the perfect fit.

    For over a year now Tina hasbeen responsible for helping to rescueGreat Danes. The dogs are brought in tothe fold for many reasons. Some are abusedand rescued by other caring soles. Some areneglected and just abandoned. Some are

    simply surrendered to DID because theowners have come upon hard times andcannot afford a pet any longer. All situationsare heart breaking but the ability to help dosomething about it is where the not so easypart begins.

    Volunteering with DID means gettinga call, sometimes late at night, to take care of Great Danethat needs an immediate home and vet care. That was thestory with Sara.

    Sara was a 3 year old Great Dane, who sat in anempty house waiting for her owner to come home. The sadpart is the owners where never coming back.

    She was left behind with no food or water. A beautifulgirl left to die alone. Sara was left behind like garbage. Sarasat for two weeks crying in an empty house for someone tocome home.

    A neighbour heard Saras cries for help. When theyrealized that the people that had moved out two weeks beforeleft the dog behind, they where mortified.

    The neighbour broke through the back door of the

    house to find Sara starving & dehydrated. They tried feedingSara and to help her but soon realized they were in over theirhead. They went online and contacted Danes in Distress.Thats when Tina got the call.

    She drove north of Barrie at 10:00 p.m. on a Saturdaynight in September through a bad thunderstorm to rescueSara. When she met up with the neighbor, she didnt know if Sara was going to make it. Tina and Danes in DistressPresident Jim Wood spoke on the phone while she was intransit. Jim gave Norfolk Vet Clinic a heads up that Tinawould be arriving late with Sara. She was starving to death.

    After examining Sara, the veteranarian decided thebest thing for her was for Tina to get her home and care forher slowly. She would need to be fed every two hours to gether tummy stretched back to size. Tina stayed by her side fortwo weeks. They slept together, went to work together and

    more importantly bonded together. It was Sara's first taste of loving human companionship.

    During the first two weeks, she had many issues. Shewas afraid of strangers, she was terrified of being left aloneand all she wanted was food. From the time Sara was pickedup, her main focus was food.

    Everything was new to Sara; going for walks, playingwith toys, everything. To see Sara learn all of these everydaythings dogs do brought tear to our eyes.

    Tinas day job is running a small company inBrantford called The Print Shoppe Inc. She wears many hatsin running her company each day: sales, caring for clients,

    managing employees, production scheduling,shipping and receiving, finances and day today operations. In addition to that, she maintainsher household and property, and cares for her

    own pets. I am her partner in all aspects andstands with her through it all. Their sharedpassion gives them strength on the hard daysand much joy on the great days!

    So maybe youre saying, "Why wouldsomeone do this? I mean I like dogs too but togive up all your free time and not get paid."The answer is simple; someone has to do thehard stuff. Tina does the hard stuff, as do

    many others in the organization. There is an upside to all thiscommitment though. It's hard to put in to words. Perhaps if youre a dog owner you'll understand. It's those moments intime when those big brown eyes stare at you and in a fractionof a second a thousand words are conveyed and the securityof a bond that can never be broken is reaffirmed. That is thereward and sharing it with other families as they welcometheir new Great Dane in to their lives isn't hard at all. It's Easy.

    By Becca Vandekamp

    MORTGAGES PURCHASESREFINANCES LOW INTEREST RATES

    519.304.5480www.mortgagesinbrantford.com LICENCE #10907

    - Stephen DostalMortgage Broker

    Its Easy to CareBy Dave Weicker

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    December 2011 www.brantadvocate.com Facebook: The Brant Advocate Twitter: @BrantAdvocate Page 5

    A Story of My DadBy Lorrie Gallant

    Arthur Donald Anderson was born May 17th, 1925 on the Six Nations of the Grand. Hismother died of tuberculosis when he was just a young boy and he never got to meet hisfather. His grandparents raised him as their own. His sister said they spoiled him becausehe had no parents, and he would prove this over and over again by getting into mischief that he never got into trouble for. I know that must have been true from stories he sharedabout putting syrup into his piano teachers hair and driving a thing called an auto-tractorwhen he was only 10 years old.

    My dads memory seems to be failing him. He knows it and it frustrates him. I hateseeing him struggle with trying to remember his pin code for his bank card, whether helocked the door and if he ate that day. He seems to be able to remember things thathappened 50 years ago better than 50 minutes ago. I thought it would be nice for him if we could sit and talk about things he had clear memories of. Each weekend, I would takemy dad to dinner and ask him a question that would begin stories of him growing up onthe reserve. He told me what his first job was and about the day he kept war prisonersfrom running away from a farm he was working on by acting like a wild man. He told me

    sometimes the Grand River froze over so thick that he would drive a car on it. I said,Wow werent you afraid that your car would fall through? He said Naw, I never drovemy own car on it!

    I remember the very first question I asked him. What was your first car dad? He wasso excited to share the story with me. He was only 15 years old and his older brotherElwood sold him a 29 Pontiac. Because he was only 15, Elwood told him he had to promisenot to drive off the reserve. The next day, dad said he was driving down the QEW at topspeed. He was driving so fast that the steering wheel was shimming and he was angry,thinking his brother sold him a lemon. We both laughed as I described my vision of himas a little boy driving down the QEW barely able to see over the steering wheel.

    The one story that I had heard variationsof over the years was the one Iwanted to hear from my dad. So Iasked, Dad, do you remember the

    first time you saw mom? This was a story that heknew well as he smiled, closed his eyes and nodded.I was riding around in my car with my brother-in-

    law, Jack. We ended up in Caledonia and parkedon the side of the street. We were just talking and Iwas relaxing with my feet up on the dashboard.All of a sudden the coach bus from Hamiltonpulled up. There were people getting out and thenall of a sudden this girl got off. My feet hit thefloor and I said Wow, who is that? Jack said,Thats Tommy Bomberrys sister. A few weekslater I was at the Simcoe Fair, and I saw mybrother Elwood and his girlfriend Geraldine sittingin a car. There were 3 girls sitting in the back so Iwent over and asked Elwood who they were. Hetold me that they were Geraldines cousins,Tommy Bomberrys sisters, Kathleen, Florenceand Laurene. That's when I saw that it was the girlthat I had seen getting off the bus. I asked Laureneto go on the Ferris wheel with me and she saidyes. The next day I asked her to go to themovies and that was the beginning of theromance.

    When my dad shares his stories, Isee him as a little boy and a silly

    teenager, like a character in a book. He stillhas his sense of humour and I know Ive onlygotten to hear a few of the hundreds of storieshe has to tell. He really misses my mom whopassed away in January 2007. The two of them had been through a lot of challenges intheir life together. My dad has wondered manytimes what his life would have been like if hehad known his father. I tell him that he would

    have never seen that beautiful girl get off the bus from Hamilton, he would have nevermet and married her, and none of us kids would have been born. I tell him that life hastwists and turns that we cant always control. We dont have the choice of who we areborn to if its First Nations, Scottish, Irish, Italian or any other race. We dont get to orshouldnt get to choose when we die. The only thing we have control over is how welive our lives between these two events.

    There is only one small nursing home on Six Nations. I think its because ourculture has taught us to honour, love and respect our elders. We keep them close to usfor as long as we can. There is still a lot of wisdom to be received from my dad. I willmake sure he doesnt need to know his pin number, I will double check the doors forhim and I will always make sure hes eaten. I will celebrate with him the stories of hisyouth and teach by example to my children that this is how we treat our elders. Gpa, asthey affectionately refer to him, has been a part of their lives since the day they wereborn. And like their grandmother, he will continue to contribute joy and laughter totheir lives until the day he joins that beautiful girl that stepped off that bus.

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    December 2011www.brantadvocate.com Facebook: The Brant Advocate Twitter: @BrantAdvocate Page 6

    Why We Shouldnt Stop Giving GiftsBy Dave Carrol

    "Christmas is a necessity. There has to be at least oneday of the year to remind us that we're here for somethingelse besides ourselves." ~Eric Sevareid

    I'm sure you've heard, said, or even thought thisduring the Christmas chaos: We all already have everythingwe need. I don't need your gift and you don't need mine.Let's stopgiving gifts."

    It's hard not to be tempted to think thissometimes because of the cultural rut we've gottenourselves into. But I don't believe that stoppinggiving is the remedy to the ailment. It's merely avisceral reaction. Dig deeper. Giving is integrallywoven into Christmas. The verse in the Biblethat almost everyone can recite is John 3:16:

    "For God so loved the world that he gave his oneand only Son, that whoever believes in him shallnot perish but have eternal life."

    Giving. But not JUST giving. Givingextravagantly, intentionally and sacrificially to aculture of people who thought they already hadeverything and didn'tneed this gift. This giftwas so good, and was soconfrontational to mansperceived self-suffi-ciency and pride, thatculture has never beenfully able to process it.This season is ALL aboutgiving and it's always

    comes with the temptationto treat giftsincorrectly.

    Even The Magicame to celebrate thebirth of a peasant babyinto a cows food troughby bringing expensive,impractical gifts. Illogical,but the beauty of theirstory continues to bepassed down and still opens hearts.

    Years ago, U2's Bono was comingback from a very long tour. On ChristmasEve, he went to St. Patricks Cathedral in

    Belfast. He recalls the revelation he had thatday about the value of the Christmas gift.

    "It had dawned on me before, but itreally sank in: the Christmas story. The ideathat God, if there is a force of Love andLogic in the universe that it would seek toexplain itself is amazing enough. That itwould seek to explain itself and describe itself by becoming a child born in straw poverty, inshit and straw... a child, I just thought:Wow! Just the poetry. Unknowable love,unknowable power, describes itself as themost vulnerable. There it was. I was justsitting there, and it's not that it hadn't struckme before, but tears came down my face, and

    I saw the genius of this, utter genius of picking a particularpoint in time and deciding to turn on this. Its actually logical.Essence has to manifest itself. Its inevitable. Love has tobecome an action or something concrete. It would have tohappen. There must be an incarnation. Love must be madeflesh."

    Incarnation. An ethereal feeling or belief expressed as aTHING. Hope coming alive. Here are a few ways I think we makegift giving and receiving a little more effective this Christmas:

    1) WANT to give: In our culture we spend too much timeignoring and disregarding each other to let a season of GIVING goby and not let it change our hearts. Don't think of people as lists. Think

    of them as they really are. An important person inneed of an incarnation of love. It's not about rich orpoor. A human is a human is a human.

    2) Think about your gift: It does the soulwrong to just pick out some random, insignificantpiece in a store and give it because you have to.Really think about what would tickle someonesfancy. Something that would really communicateyour feelings for them. It doesn't have to be expensive.

    It could be words that you've never spoken. It couldbe time. OR it could be a Macbook. The thingdoesn't matter; the spirit of it does.

    3) Humble yourself to really receive: You'relikely going to be getting a gift this year fromsomeone who can't afford to give you something,but they will give because they love you. Don't say"oh you didn't have to" and feel guilty. They haveintentionally given you a gift that cost them something.Humble yourself and receive it. Acknowledge thewarm feeling you get as divine and let it inspire you.

    4) Give to someone who doesn't deserve it: This one is powerful .Think about how The Grinch warms your heart and makes you tearup a little. The Whos were totally robbed blind on Christmas Eve.But they heaped love on someone who didn't d eserve it. It broke The

    Grinch's heart and caused it to grow. THIS is what a Christmas giftcan do.

    It's not about what we deserve. It's about what we don't.Culturally we're out of whack with how we function in giving.

    Minuscule percentages of people give more than10% annually whilepeople go hungry aroundthe world, and yet, we gointo debt at Christmasmindlessly. This is nogood. But the answer isnot to STOP giving. Theanswer is MORE giving.The answer is givingmore of yourself. Time,

    Talent AND Treasure.The answer is beingintentionally and extrava-gantly generous on alloccasions!

    Id like to invite you toThe Living Nativity, twoshow nightly December16-18th in HarmonySquare. Come and see foryourself the greatestexample of generosityour world has everexperienced and let itinspire you to fullyparticipate in the spirit of

    the season.

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    December 2011 www.brantadvocate.com Facebook: The Brant Advocate Twitter: @BrantAdvocate Page 7

    My Relationship with ChristmasChristmas and I have run hot and cold over the years.

    By this I mean the whole Christmassy part of the holiday.My own religious affiliations and beliefs aside, the seasonhas run the gamut from being super exciting to being nothingmore than a huge anxiety attack. From fun seasonal crafts(cmon, making Christmas crackers can be fun!), to gettingwhat some might call interesting gifts (dont ever give yourwife the gift of utility shoes, trust me), Christmases havebeen a personal symphony of good and bad.

    However, the last couple of Christmases have been

    different. I experienced an epiphany: starting with my daughterbecoming more interested in Christmas, bolstered by mypartner Adams personal faith and love of the season, andseriously questioned after the death of my mother just 10days before Christmas in 2009.

    In one catastrophic blow, my step-father lost his bestfriend and wife, my siblings and I lost the woman we wereclosest with, and the grandchildren lost their beloved Nana.Continuing to make nice and keeping Christmas for the kids,we adults realized that we were not interested in celebratingwithout my Mom. We decided to hold our own Christmasover until June of the next year since none of us could handlebeing holly-jolly without her.

    So we got through Christmas. And the rest of themonth. And then New Years Eve came and went. We foundthat after spring passed, in the middle of summer, we werelooking forward to the event we forfeited six months before.Although, and perhaps maybe because of, the deep mourningwe were still in, we craved to be together as much as wecould. A summer Christmas was simply another reason to do

    just that.

    It was then that I realized something very important.Although I loved being with my family, I hate Christmas in

    the summer! Okay sure, I know people who celebrate theirChristmas in the summer, and good for them. But I needsnow, and cold, and frost, and the threat of a storm that couldmake driving difficult, in order to truly appreciate the wholeChristmas package.

    I love the smell of an evergreen wreath in the house(although I must admit to deeply appreciating the fake treewith the built in lights we bought last year). I like seeing thepresents under the tree and tree lights twinkling in the windowsof the houses as we drive down quiet, snowy streets. I likethe crunch of snow under my boots and I have rediscoveredhow much fun it is to go tobogganing on Boxing Day. I evenrealized that I dont hate the crazed-out shoppers and the bad

    drivers and everything that the holiday season could entail.And, in liking it all I remembered something else - my Momdid too. She adored the decorating and the shopping andhaving family dinner. She would light up when we walkedthrough the door at Christmas-time. She had an extensivecollection of Christmas bric-a-brac, and brought the wholelot out each year.

    My love for Christmas always there, clearly inherited, just hidden. Getting lost in the hustle and the bustle of whatit is to live in the twenty-first century. Sadly, I didnt realize

    it until the person responsible for my true love of Christmaswas no longer able to enjoy it with me.

    Although it is unlikely that I will ever become one of those folks that are gonzo with the Christmas experience, Iwill certainly take the time to enjoy it a little more. I willrevel in the opportunity of family being together. I will alsomake a better effort to give to others less fortunate than I.Perhaps helping them realize Christmas is great not becauseof what you get, but because of who you are with. Havingseen the worst, I truly understand the best. For me the best isfamily, friends, and snow. Lots and lots of snow. MerryChristmas and Happy Holidays!

    By Tina Draycott

    A Symbol of The HolidaysWhile in university, I lived in a very multiculturalenvironment, so come the holiday season, there were multipleevents in celebration of almost every holiday imaginable. Asa result, it wasnt until my graduation, upon entering theworkforce, where I first encountered the debate; the all-serious issue of whether to call it a Christmas tree or a Holidaytree. I immediately jumped on the Holiday tree bandwagon.After all, I dont subscribe to a particular religion, so notassociating a materialsymbol with areligious holidaydid not bother mein the slightest.Furthermore,having grown upin such an environ-ment of learningabout and under-standing others, Ithought the use of a term which wasall-encompassing would foster feelings of tolerance andacceptance within a community. I could not have been sowrong.

    The debate, which is sparked when one decides tocall a tree a Holiday tree, can bring out such fury in people toa point which has even, at times, led me to question if theyunderstand the religious values for which theyre arguing indefense of. Regardless of which side of the debate one maybe one, many of those who are so passionate about this are

    arguing blindly in defense of their own opinion, while notconsidering the rationale behind other points of view. Thereis so much more to this debate than religious vs. not religious.

    In 2010, I embarked on a journey in which I thought Iwould see the world. I spent Christmas (the holidays, if youwill) in London, England, in an unfurnished flat. The roomhad nothing in it other than a blanket on the floor and a small

    dollar store blow up tree.My friend and I sat on ourblanket and ate take outIndian food as our Christmascelebration. While it wasboth an experience and amemory I cherish, it didntrepresent the holidays to me.

    As we approach theChristmas season once againand I am home to celebrateit with family and friends,

    Im already overwhelmed at how much this time with themis going to mean to me. Im spending time contemplatingwhat I can get that will mean something to them and touchtheir heart. Im planning dinners and surprises, and anythingthat could help put a smile on the face of someone I love. Imlooking forward to the feelings Christmas instills in me, anddoing what small bit I can to maybe help someone else feelthe same. It is with this reflection that I have learned themeaning of what a Christmas tree is to me. It is that feelingof walking in my house, or friends houses, and smiling at a

    symbol that brings those feelings out again. It is a symbol of my upbringing, of times of happiness, and memories of spending time with loved ones, some of whom are no longeraround. While it does not have any religious significance tome, it represents something else of being surrounded byloved ones and expressing that love which the chaos-which-is-life doesnt always allow year round. In this, I have experiencedhow Christmas can have meaning well beyond the typicalreligious/materialistic discussion which so often occurs. Forall intents and purposes, Christmas, to me, is a feeling, whichis almost impossible to convey in writing.

    To those who argue it is a holiday tree for anti-religious reasons, and to those who argue its a Christmastree in blind religious fury over alternative views/beliefs, Ichallenge you this season to step back for a moment, andevaluate where your passion is coming from. Is it in the spiritof love or in the spirit of intolerance? Are you capable of acknowledging that while something can mean so much toyou, it may mean something different to someone else?

    Over time, I have decided that to me, it is a Christmastree. To those who also call it a Christmas tree in religiousbelief which they genuinely hold dear in their heart, morepower to you. To those who call it a holiday tree, in the spiritof community and acceptance of all, more power to you aswell. Because no matter what we decide to call it, if we findno other common ground other than to all agree it is still atree, then we have found common ground.

    By Steph Paige

    Upon entering the workforce,I encountered the debate; the

    all-serious issue of whether to call ita Christmas Tree or a Holiday Tree.

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    December 2011www.brantadvocate.com Facebook: The Brant Advocate Twitter: @BrantAdvocate Page 8

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    The Kitchen TreeI love to savour all of the sights, sounds and tastes of

    the Christmas season. For me each year, there is one traditionthat I anticipate the most; it is the unwrapping of the ornamentsthat adorn my Christmas Kitchen Tree.

    Since my children were very little Ihave been collecting these tiny trinkets thatresemble gingerbread men, kitchen gadgetsand holiday treats. I lovingly hang each oneon its branch as I reminisce about how Iacquired each precious one. You may wonderhow it came to be that I started this tradition.In fact, I had nothing to do with it. When mydaughter was about 4 years old, she startedgoing to the Christmas bazaars with herGrandma Farrant. Sarah was the sweetestlittle girl; she would get all dressed up in hervery best. This was a very exciting outing forher. I still have ladies from town make mention of her littlebrown faux fur coat with matching hat and muff that shewore on her Christmas shopping excursion.

    Each year, Sarah would tuck some money into herlittle purse, so that she could purchase special presents forfamily members. When Sarah would come home from her

    outing with Grandma, she would be far too excited to waituntil Christmas morning for me to unwrap her gift. Sarahthen began the ritual of my pre-Christmas present.

    I would unwrap the parcel as she watched with anticipationof what I was about to receive. To my surprise it would be anornament. I remember the first year there were two cinnamon

    scented ornaments in the shape of a rockinghorse and a ginger person. From then thetradition began. As my collection of kitchen-themed ornaments grew, I decided to part themfrom the main Christmas tree and start mykitchen tree. Over the years I have had familyand friends thoughtfully add to my collection.Each ornament holds a special meaning.

    My children are now grown but Sarah,Spencer and Alex still look forward to thesight of my kitchen tree to appear in its placeof honour on the counter. As the tree isadorned, we can reflect on the memories thatwere made and envision the new ones to come,

    knowing that there are still some branches yet to be filled.

    I was 34 years old, and a single mother of two childrenages 6 and 7. I had been working four part-time jobs in orderto make ends meet. With that many part-time jobs and twosmall children, I found child-care a real challenge. I had amuch younger friend (20) who was out of work and needed aplace to live. We worked out a deal that gave her a place tolive, gave me a live-in helper, and provided the security thatmy kids needed.

    During this time I was diagnosed with breast cancer.Because of the responsibility of my kids, and because I hadto keep working, I opted for the least invasive option. Iwould have surgery to remove what they could get, and thenI would go for check-ups every three months. If there wereany changes in my condition, then I would need to havetreatment. The surgery was in February, and by the time thefall rolled around, there had been no issues. There seemed tobe no reason for alarm.

    I had eventually been able to get a full-time job andmake better money. At my full-time job, I was working shiftwork and still needed help with childcare, so my friendcontinued to live with us. At the end of October that year, Igot laid off.

    I had used up all of my resources by the end of November and I had not been able to get a full-time job. Ihad been able to find part-time work, but the income fromthat was not enough to provide what we needed. It wasbecoming clear to me Christmas was going to be tough.

    At this point I made a decision that my kids wouldhave a Christmas, but it would be about making traditions,being together, and above all else an attitude of gratitude.

    We didnt have a tree, and I only had ten dollars. Wemade getting the tree an adventure. We got out our wagonand hiked over to the tree place. I had explained that weneeded to find a tree that would fit in the wagon because thatwas the only way to get the tree to our house. When we gotto the tree place, every tree on the lot was more than $10.00.We picked a tree anyway, and the man said that because thetree was so small we could have it for ten dollars! How didhe know? There, now we had a tree. We got it set up and

    ready to decorate the next night. With Christmas music, hotchocolate, fresh baked cookies and decorations covering theliving room floor we had started a new tradition.

    A friend of mine was running the Christmas basketsprogram that year. He had encouraged me to apply for onemyself. I explained that, in comparison, we had so muchmore than others. We had a place to live, we were able tostay together, we were all healthy, and I had a very supportivefamily. So, instead of receiving a Christmas basket, wevolunteered to help pack them. It allowed my kids the opportunityto appreciate how lucky we were. It allowed them to see thatyour experience in life is largely based on attitude.

    Our assignment was to count packets of powderedcoffee whitener into baggies and pack the baggies into theboxes. The first day we made a game of it and imagined thatthe box in the middle of our group was a campfire, so we sataround our campfire counting packets into baggies, singingChristmas Carols. We had such a good time that the next daythe kids wanted to take their friends with them. Their friendscame with us and we repeated the campfire of the previousday. The kids still remember that adventure.

    At the time they

    had no idea what theywere doing. They hadno idea that we weremaking new traditions.The Christmas traditionsthat were developing asmy young children and Itried to survive thehub-bub of the season were not based on electronic gadgets,expensive adventures or lavish gifts. They were based onpersonal commitment, investments of time, and giving whatwe could each personally manage. Because of these prioritieswe have been able to maintain our traditions despite circumstances.

    The next day we got up, had breakfast, opened presents,and then went for a four-hour walk. I took my camera andmany rolls of film. That Christmas I got some of the bestpictures of my kids doing kid stuff in the snow. We had such

    a great day. Each year we do the same thing. We wake up,have breakfast, open presents, and then bundle up (mostyears) and head out for a long walk. Our family has changedover the years. We have added some, some moved away,some come back, but everyone that knows us, knows that onChristmas day we are heading out for a long walk and momwill have her camera snapping at everything anyone is doing.

    Because of that Christmas my family has been able togrow up understanding the true meaning of this amazingseason. Each year we find an opportunity to do somethingkind for someone else. Most times the people that we havebeen kind to have no idea who we are, why we are doing this,or the satisfaction and reward that we get from the experience.

    Each year it seems that we are able to do a little bitmore to help someone else through the season. Each year mykids seem to become more generous and excited about makingour special Christmas Plan. They are both working now sothey take great pride in sharing some of their earnings tocarry out our plans. They are surprisingly generous with theirhard-earned money.

    I dont thinkthat my two friends

    will ever fully knowthe difference thatthey have made inmy life, the lives of my kids, and the livesof the people that wehave had the opportunityto include in our

    Christmas tradition. We will continue this tradition as long aswe can, and we will also be out walking on Christmas day,no matter the weather. We are thinking about how great theseason is, how thankful we are to have each other, and beable to live in this world, country, city, community, that isfull of great people.

    By Stacey Farrant

    Christmas TraditionsBy Sylvia Collins

    At this point I made a decision that my kidswould have a Christmas, but it would beabout making traditions, being together, and

    above all else an attitude of gratitude.

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    What Love Really IsOn paper, I suppose, Id be the last person youd look

    to for love advice. Being single and proud for the past twoyears, one could assume love is the last thing on this lowlybachelor's mind. In my 22 years of experience, I have mademy fair share of mistakes and will likely make many more.Im not writing this to teach you, this is not a guide. Maybeitll make you think; maybe youll learn something,maybe not.

    I was raised in a loving family. Not a perfect family,but a loving family. I was also raised in a loving community.Some people think Brantford is a little rough around theedges but home will always warm your heart. I have lived,loved, worked and learned a lot while attending Camp Kin-tail on the shores of Lake Huron between Kincardine &Goderich. The love I felt there is what inspired me to writethis.

    They taught me to love in an entirely new way. It wasthe last week of summer in my third year of counselling.Senior co-ed was an especially long camp lasting ten days,accompanied by all the joys, drama and raging hormones 1316 year olds bring. Being in charge of 9 high school boys Iwas well aware of the young love in the air. Constantlydistracted by member of the opposite sex, even walking fromthe cabin to the mess hall was a challenge. Over the courseof 10 days we laughed, learned, pranked, sang, swam andworshiped together. It was a safe place where each of themcould be themselves without worrying what others thought. Idont know how it happened, or if it was even something myco-counsellors or I could have predicted.

    On the very last night we stayed up talking. Remi-niscing about the fun we had, dreading the long ride homeand the beginning of school. One camper said hed misseveryone. Another chimed in and said Uh, Im not sure howto say this and dont take it the wrong way but I love you

    guys. I was flabbergasted and flattered. In a world where thegreatest insult on the playground is calling someone afaggot, love was the last thing I expected boys to say toeach other. It wasnt taken the wrong way; there wasnt theslightest homophobic hum. We all understood it, and we allfelt it. It wasnt a romantic love but its the love you have foryour brother.

    Ancient Greek has four words for expressing love:agpe (unconditional love), ros (passionate love), phila(love between family or friends), and storg (affection). Itmakes me think that us English folk are at a disadvantagewhen it comes to expressing love as contentment, appreciation,longing, arousal, frienship, excitement, fondnessor caring. Expressing love takes more thanwords; love motivates us and moves usforward, love is the most powerful force.

    Brantford is bursting with creativity& culture fuelled by love. It is especiallyimportant as we enter the holiday season weexpress our love for one another. Love selflesslyand fearlessly.

    By Oliver Gaskin

    I dont think so. You are not going to spend an afternoonat an intro class for your camera when wecan hangout and Ill teach you all the samethings.

    I now had 2 days to watch as many YouTubevideos as possible so I could to learn thebasics of my camera. I really didnt make a

    fool of myself in front of my new friend, Paul,on our photo adventure hiking by Wilkes Dam.

    Photography: an art form that most appreciate,many attempt, and few succeed. I have fallen intothe appreciation category for most of my life untilI got up the courage to buy a decent camera andattempt to learn how to take a good photo insteadof leaving it to chance. This new purchasehappened around the same time I moved toBrantford, and there have been plenty of trial anderror photos of varying events around the city thepast couple of months. There are many skilledphotographers in town, and Ive been fortunateenough to chum around with a number of them.Ive been trying to

    figure out what makes that brilliant photo, so when PaulSmith of Photohouse Studio asked me to go on a photoadventure with him, I was incredibly excited. I was goingto finally get in on the tricks of the trade.

    It was slightly disappointing to be reminded thatphotography, as anything, is a fine balance of science andcreativity. Even though I had the right F-stop set, my photos

    were of the river and some trees, and Pauls told a story of the forest across the way. I hadnt even noticed one tree inparticular until I had looked at his photo.

    As we hiked through the trails, with Paul stopping totake a picture and me stopping to try and figure out what of,we spent just as much time talking shop as we did sharingstories and building a friendship.

    After stumbling off the trail, we decided to make ourown way up to the bike path and head back to the car. Paul,snapping pictures of me goofing around, and I, snapping anincredible action shot of Paul. This was an excellent exampleof where the professional photographer is able to take a numberof great shots in a moment, and the amateur snags the beautyone-timer. Im sure it wasnt pleasant for Paul to have abranch smack his face, but it served as a fantastic opportunityfor me use a few of my skills with a lot of luck.

    We then made our way to the Brantford StationGallery for a Roots Revival Sunday afternoon with thetalented Ian Reid. With a number of scenic photography tipsin my pocket, I was up to the challenge of switching gears tocandid portraits.

    At the end of the day, I had learned a pile of newinformation about photography, my cameras varying capabilities,proper settings for different scenarios, and so on I had alsofound a new place to hike only a 5 minute drive from myhome, a new friend to spend time with and hopefully steal acouple more photography tricks from.

    Im looking forward to see where the next photoadventure takes me through the winter. Where to next?

    By Bekah PittsBeks in the City

    Photographs courtesy of Photohouse Studio, c/o Paul Smith.

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    Wow, that ad is huge.We have the largest ads in the area & we design them for free.

    10,000 copies delivered to 250 businesses each month across Brantford, Brant & Six Nations.Email [email protected] or call 226 922 0228 for details.

    Power TalkThe power of choice is the one thing we all have.

    How you choose to use this gift will determine the outcomeof your life.

    The choices you make everyday are what shape yourdestiny. If you want proof of that, look back on some of thechoices you have made in the past, and here is where it gotyou. The Power of Choice, or for that matter the Power of Decision, can sometimes be the most difficult part of anyequation.

    Time to Decide

    We have all uttered the phrases "I can't decide" or "I just don't know what to do." More often than not, failing todecide has greater consequences than making a difficultchoice ever will. For a choice or a decision to be real it has tobe acted upon and, more importantly, it has to be lasting andconsistent. If you choose to quit smoking, and then return toyour old habit, weeks, months or years later, you haven'ttruly decided. The Power of Choice, like goal setting, createsthe blueprint for the future in advance. Knowing how to usethe Power of Decision is the fundamental quality for leadership.

    In our lives, change is automatic. Progress is not. Progress isdriven by choice and decision. I have always said thatchange can happen in an instant. But for that change to belasting and consistent you have to take action every day. Insome cases you need a massive action plan to validate yourdecisions.

    Whats Driving You?

    To make choices that are going to serve you, youmust first understand the driving forces behind them.There are four major forces that determine how we makeevery decision in our life. The first two are Inspiration vs.Desperation. The second two are Pain vs. Pleasure.

    In my seminar Life Mastery Live, I examine thesefour principals in detail. Inspiration is pretty self-explanatory.We make choices based on events that have moved us orresonated with us to our core. For example, if you areoverweight and meet someone who has been overweight likeyou, lost it, and managed to keep it off; meeting such aperson would no doubt inspire you to change.

    Success Leaves Clues

    Keep in mind that success leaves clues. All the informat ionyou need is out there. Model yourself after people who havealready achieved what it is you want to do. The opposite of inspiration is desperation, when you find yourself in a placewhere you need to make a choice to survive. Pain vs. Pleasureis the most common driving force behind the choices wemake on a daily basis. Our need to gain pleasure and avoidpain is the leverage that fuels our decision. Poor choices canoften lead to pain and desperation which, in turn, leads torepeating the process all over again.

    The power of choice and decision will be with youuntil the day you die. I suggest you choose wisely and reflecton the driving forces behind your choices.

    Remember, change can happen in an instant.

    Until next time, live strong and always live with passion.

    By Mark Gaylard

    The Power of InterventionThere has been much talk about bullying on TV and

    in the newspaper. Recent legislation that was passed wasabout protecting people in the work place and education of our youth. This is my take on the situation. Many times inmy life I have been involved with bullying situations. Theway I see it, there are five positions to be in when bullyingoccurs. The obvious two are the bully and the victim. Theless talked about, but the most impactful, are the bystanderswho stay quiet, and the bystanders who speaks up. Last arethe others who have to deal with bullying; the parents, theteachers and the various other authorities. I have playedevery role in my life, although I bet very few of us can sayweve never bullied someone.

    The bully has been studied and studied, and it hasbeen proven that it isnt an effective strategy for climbing thesocial hierarchy. The question that has been studied is whydoes a bully bully? Theanswer is simple. Bullies arehuman and, like the rest of us, they want to feel good,wanted and needed. They

    just dont know how to do

    it. It has also been proventhat every bully has beenbullied themselves, so whenthey were being bullied theyhanded over the control totheir aggressor. So, now they know that they have the controlover that person they are bullying. Therefore, they shouldfeel good, wanted and needed and they do, but only in themoment. After it has been all said and done they go back tofelling bad, worthless and lonely until there next victimcomes along and they can attack. Do they lay awake at nightfeeling regretful of what they did that day like I have thetimes that I didnt make someone feel nice that day, or dothey plan their next attack?

    The victim of a rage-filled bully is one of the worstpositions to be in at school because not only do you feel thatthe person who is standing in front of you is bullying you but

    everyone else around you is as well. As you stand therelistening to the vicious words and taking the painful abuse,you slowly look around through the blur of tears in your eyesand you see all of your friends standing there. Why arentthey doing anything? Then your mind shifts back to thebully. Why are they saying that? Why do they hate me somuch? You try to come up with a comeback but its too latebecause they have already taken the power and walked away.

    The bystander is the easiest way to come across abullying scenario. You try and reason your acts of notspeaking up with words like I shouldnt be stepping intotheir business, or, if I step in, the bully is going to startbullying me? The bystanders role is the most importantbecause they have a chance to stop it before the rest happens.They have a chance to spare the victim of a few more wordsof hate, they have the chance to show everyone else that their

    voice matters. The sad part isthat, in most cases, nobodytakes that chance. They standthere mesmerised by the evilbully and the helpless victim.

    I have chosen to speakout. I believe that standingthere not doing anything is justas bad as the bully standingnext to me. In hindsight, when

    I look at all the times I have let it pass, it stings. It stings thatI could have risen above the rest and spoken out; it stingsthat I didnt do the right thing. Although, when I look backon the times that I did speak out in the moment, I did feelawkward but after the fact, I felt awesome. Singlehandedly,this is where the educators need to beef it up because thereare too many scenarios where the kids could step in andself-regulate. The kids dont though because no one hastaught them how.

    Although, the education system cannot totally eliminatebullying, they sure as heck can decrease it. I have had theprivate school experience, the public school drama and the

    special class treatment and it all d epends on the schoolsattitude. The one year I spent in private school I hadabsolutely no problems. It was a different environment whereeveryone seemed to get along and all we did was play withour dolls and laugh. The public school drama was the toughest.They let the kids run wild, bullying one another making theweak kids weaker and the strong kids stronger. My friendsand I were all bullied by students but every time we went toeither to the teacher or the principal (with or without ourparents) they did nothing. They would act as if their handswere tied or that they would monitor the situation whichreally meant sorry kid, you are on your own. The next schoolI went to has been more helpful but still not good enough. Ihave had a few mean words said to me but they were immediatelytaken care of, but there is still the Queen Bee and the dronesand they havent even given it a second look. There is a boxthere that no one talks about where you are supposed to putin pieces of paper that tell the teachers if you saw any bullying,but quite frankly it looks so deserted I dont even think theyever check it. Great idea must be talked about and celebratedto be effective.

    I compare different environments to the school

    system such as the YMCA where I have attended camp andthere must simply be a zero tolerance policy that is enforceablebecause when an incident did occur, it was actually dealtwith. I for one was amazed. I dont know why someenvironments dont act on the first incident and wait untilthings build up until it starts to affect that childs life. I havea friend who has been bullied for years and the school hasdone nothing but stand there and watch it happen. Thiscannot be a habit anymore.

    I have seen many of these scenarios but the ones thatI remember the most are the ones that I made an impact in.The most powerful statement that I used was Stop being somean to my friend, you are being a bully. Simple enough words.

    By Madte Brown

    I have chosen to speak out.I believe that standing there not

    doing anything is just as bad as thebully standing next to me.

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    On November 3rd, Craig Cardiff celebrated therelease of his 18th album, Floods & Fires, at the BrantfordStation Gallery. The intimate venue was packed, with peopleliterally turning away at the door because they could not fitinto the place. The audience cheered, laughed, sang along,and even slow-danced. Craig kept the audience engaged andentertained from the first song, right to the very last.

    After the show, I had the unique opportunity to interviewCraig about his new album, his career as a musician, as wellas some of his experiences playing in Brantford. Here is anexcerpt from that interview:

    Q: Could you tell me about some of your experiencesplaying in Brantford?

    A: Well, I've only had a few, a handful. The first one was

    playing a show that had been set up, and I didn't know ituntil the last minute, at a hotel. They kept selling tickets, andso they ended up taking it out in their backyard. The fellowwas here tonight, he was wonderful. He was like, "That wasmy first and last show. It was too stressful to organize. It wasso much work." He didn't say it in a bad way. He was

    juggling a number of things, and it's personal. It's not likeyou can have a poor night and not take it personally.Anyway, it was just nice to see him here. He's like, "Man Iwould love to do another show with you, but that was myfirst and last. I retired after that one."

    Q: Can you tell me about your song Dance Me Outside, and how it relates to Brantford?A: Oh, just my mom growing up. She talked about growing

    up in Brantford as a teenager. She went to Pauline Johnson,and she's just talking about what it was like to grow up inreference to this First Nations woman who was outside of town. She was trying to hitchhike, to catch a ride back in,and couldn't. She ended up passing from exposure. The worstpart is that it's all over. It's Winnipeg; it's lots of communities.Each community has a story like that, it's difficult. So therewas that story that existed, and then there was the BruceMcDonald film Dance Me Outside. I hadn't seen the film,but it just had this idea that even in hard things, still havingdignity, still standing up tall, even to a very bitter, sad end.That was the idea.

    Q: What should fans expect from this new album?

    A: Some of the songs I've been playing for quite awhile. Twoyears of recording, but some of those songs I've had for

    years. Now looking back on it, it feels like the album is aboutchoosing to be happy. If anyone had said that to me a fewyears ago, I would've punched them. It's just silly, it soundslike a really nonsensical thing to say, but I think that's whatit's about. You know, just to choose joy. Not a joy that'spurchased, but just to be joyful. I feel like every song istrying to hold up a little bit of the dark, or the blind spots thateverybody has, just to say, "Thats fine". That's what I feelthe album's about. It's my little Graceland.

    Q: Floods & Fires was released November 1st. Whereand how can fans get a hold of it? At what cost?

    A: You can get it everywhere. You can get it directly from

    Craig Cardiff.com, or you can get it from iTunes, which isgreat, except that Apple gets 40% of it. If iPods cost a bitless, I'd feel better about sharing, but I think they do okay, Ithink they've got it down. So, you can buy it directly fromCraigCardiff.com, also at shows, cdbaby.net does distributionin the US so if you request the physical album they can getthat, and you can buy the physical album from the website.

    Q: If you had to listen to one artist for the rest of yourlife, who would it be?

    A: A good cellist doing the Bach cello suite. It's funny, Ibought a bunch of different versions and there's some prettybad cello playing out there. Not that I'm like, a great cellist oranything, I can barely play the guitar, but when you hear areally good person doing it, it's like when they're playing areally good instrumental and you're like, "Whoa, that's awesome."

    Q: Is there anything you would do differently in your career?

    A: No, I'm really lucky, and I'm happy.

    Craig is currently touring across Canada, with countlessupcoming shows over the next several months. Brantford,and the Station Coffee House and Gallery will enjoy anotherlive performance when Craig returns in the spring. Staytuned for more details!

    For a look at Bethanys entire interview with Craig Cardiff, visit ourwebsite at www.brantadvocate.com

    Craig Cardiff By Bethany Schultz / Photos by Paul Smith

  • 7/28/2019 The Brant Advocate, Issue 4, December 2011

    12/12

    www.woodland-centre.on.ca 519.759.2650 184 Mohawk Street, Brantford ON, N3T 5V6

    Woodland Cultural Centre is a First Nations educational and cultural facility. It was established in 1972to protect, promote, interpret and present the history, language, intellect and cultural heritage of theAnishinaabe and Onkwehon:we. With over 35,000 artifacts Woodland Cultural Centre represents

    one of the largest sums of living indigenous history in North America and the world.

    As we approach our 40th anniversary we invite you to visit us at the centre. Take a guided tour of themuseum and the residential school or particpate in one of our many classes, seminars and events.

    Tradition, Heritage & Culture.

    Woodland Cultural Centre / Residential School c.1973. Photograph courtesy of Woodland Cultural Centre.Wampum Bead photograph courtesy of The Photohouse, c/o Paul Smith.