the broken hearted

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  • 8/14/2019 The Broken Hearted

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    DedicationTo all of those who have had their hearts broken.

    IntroductionThis is a series of a collection of poems and prose created by Victoria Chen and close friends, and many

    others, who have all had their hearts broken. Listen to their pleas they cry out for the only thing they

    want to be loved again, by the ones they adore and admire.

    Table of Contents1. Lament of a Broken Heart

    by Victoria Chen

    2. Silent Tears

    by Rachel Tay

    3. Save me from your pain

    by Victoria Chen

    4. The Storm

    by Victoria Chen

    5. The Snowby Victoria Chen

    6. Calls of the World

    by Victoria Chen

    7. Under the Apple Tree

    by Victoria Chen

    8. Summers Day End

    by Victoria Chen

    9. You were

    by Victoria Chen

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    Lament of a Broken HeartBy Victoria Chen

    I thought he was different someone who could see below the surface, someone who had a caring

    nature, someone who selflessly cares for those around him.

    But I guess I was wrong. He turned out to be just like all the other guys.

    I cared for him because he cared for me. I smiled whenever he was happy because after everything

    hes done for me, its the least that I can do. I had to go through a lot of pain and stress in order to get

    where I was but once I got there,

    He turned out to be just another guy.

    Everything I do for him, I feel like its not enough to give him in return for what hes given me,

    regardless of how he feels about me or I him. I didnt care if he hated me to the very depths of his being

    I would have still liked him because I saw the pure goodness in him, something that no one could see.

    Some girls may be searching for a hunk to look good with, or a guy regarded hot by the standards of

    everyone else, in which he fit into both categories, but I? I was searching for a guy who was kind at

    heart, a good person, a caring person, someone who could love me for who I am, not what I am on the

    surface, someone who would care for me, no matter what happened between us. I didnt care if we did

    or didnt look good together.

    And when I finally found him the one who fit into all of this,

    He turned out to be just like all the others.

    I cry, not because Im lamenting of what has been lost, but rather, I cry for him, because he doesntrealize what passed him by was something that comes once in a lifetime. I cry, because he will never

    realize that you cant judge a girl by how well she returns his attentions with flirts, kisses, or the way she

    holds him close, but rather, by her character. I cry because I believed that I could be all of this for him,

    but I turned out to be wrong;

    He was just another guy.

    By God, I still like him, more than he will ever know. Even though he thinks were just back to friends,

    he doesnt realize that you cant just talk these things away. But if he insisted that I dont see him any

    more, or talk to him, I would do so, if it made him happy. If he insisted that I remove myself from the

    country, I would do so, if it made him happy.

    As long as he was happy, I wouldnt care whether or not he liked me the way I do for him. I care for him

    too much for that. If he broke my heart into a dozen pieces, I would leave them where they fell, until he

    decides to pick them up for me and piece them together again.

    Ive never felt this way about a guy and he doesnt realize this, because to him, girls are judged by

    how well they flirt back, not how their character is. I want to teach him what the meaning of love is. I

    want to teach him that love is about when you care for someone more than you care for yourself. Love is

    what I feel for him its whats kept me going all these years, even if my love for another hasnt been

    returned.

    He may just be another guy, but I still care about him.

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    Silent TearsBy Rachel Tay

    The days fly by when Im with you, though they slow to a crawl when Im alone.

    What more can I do for you? Im still wishing, waiting.

    I wont stop. I cannot stop.

    Not now, when all I have is being held tight by only a single strand of something.

    A thread of friendship.

    A single silver of hope.

    Once I thought you were my friend, and regardless would stand by me.

    Or at least have some conscience not to hurt me.

    Turns out, the star I wished on faded away just minutes later.

    They do not understand how I feel.

    No one does. Why?

    Is it just me? Am I strangely malfunctioning in comparison to the rest of Natures devices?

    I still do not care.You had me at the beginning.

    Why do you listen to the rumors of the jealous?

    They have turned you against me, and theres nothing I can do about it.

    Maybe sometime in the near future you will see how clearly they rail you against me.

    But for now you are colder than the coldest enemy I could ever have.

    So they think it is unsuitable. For one so young and the other much more mature.

    But the things I feel for you are nothing to be disgusted or frowned upon by the strict vultures of our

    society, preying on the despair and agony of the laws of conformity in our world.

    In another life, maybe.Another world.

    Another dimension.

    Another time.

    Another chance.

    Why do I adore thee?

    Let me count the ways

    Alas but I cannot do so, for once I start, I cannot stop.

    Your flaws I adore and your perfections even greater.

    The others around you are so superficial.

    They look at you on the outside and pretend to view the new clothes that you wear.I percept your mind, yet the villagers turn their noses up in ignorant arrogance.

    Me, the young child who shrieked the truth into your ears, praying some sort of angel would guide

    you, was left isolated and disappointed.

    Disappointed in you or them you ask?

    Both I gather.

    More you than them.

    They are forgiven for this behavior

    I would have not done any different were I them.

    But I am not, and you are not.

    There is no excuse for the way someone I thought to be my close friend and mentor to treat me.While they cast disparaging glances down their hooked beaks at me, I had withstood them. Stared

    straight ahead in silent determination.

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    While they scoffed and pantomimed a fraction of my feelings inside, I had withheld. Though this time,

    with less confidence.

    Why had you interfered then? I guessed you were more worried about your own prospects then.

    I understood.

    But soon it became apparent you would care what they thought more than what I would feel by your

    actions.

    The coldness you shown me could break even the Ice Queens heart.But I can only suppose you are an Oscar-worthy actor, or else just not who I supposed you were.

    When I was sure you had the worst possible heart, I could not resist a little background checking

    When I found some shreds of happiness littering your aura, I was ecstatic.

    Even one you were obliged to.

    They way you looked at me sometimes when we were alone, I thought maybe I was imagining them, so

    I cast them aside, and firmly locked up my heart and forbade it to ever think of such a possibility.

    Yet when you demonstrated the slightest possibility of a yearning for more than just friendship, not

    while we were alone, but in front of tens of people, all claiming the same things I knew, I finally decided

    I was not dreaming.

    Not once, but many times.Not a bit, but a lot.

    I finally gave my struggling heart the key to burst out of its protective shield.

    Yet I was too hasty in that decision.

    And my heart was succumbed to the poisons I was hoping to save it from.

    Once bitten twice shy.

    Will I ever learn?

    An empty space in your chest filled with icicles.

    Thats what you posses

    But perhaps I am mistaken.

    Perhaps you do not mean to hurt me such.

    Are you putting on a masquerade for them? Or it this truly how you feel for one as helpless as I?

    Is this how you would treat a baby kitten, being mauled by schoolboys who were relentless in the task of

    such torture? Knowing there was absolutely nothing I could do about it?

    In my minds eye, you would have been the school headmaster, upon noticing what distress I was in,

    have hauled them off by the ear and given them a good lashing, before coming back to nurse me back to

    health. I had stood strong then, knowing, or assuming that you would be wiser than that.

    But I was wrong.

    Yet again.Instead reality came crashing down upon me when you took the wrong fork in the road and joined their

    ranks of destruction to ones heart.

    I gather you most likely know of my heart now.

    No more secrets.

    Unless you have not, and had a sudden personality transplant.

    I wish.

    I wish I could blame all this pain on something you had no control over.

    But it seems to be that you were fully in control of what you were doing.

    My friends are torn between their loyalty to me and harsh reality.They fluff me up and cushion me with looks of sympathy and murmured words of reassurance.

    But when my back is turned, they cast strange and confused glances at me, as if to try and figure out

    exactly what I was feeling.

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    They have no idea.

    No idea.

    And they never will.

    Now Im alone, struggling to find a way off the ground.

    Will I see the future in time? Can I fore see the cliff before I gain to much speed and fall off into the

    bottomless abyss?

    Or will the chasm swallow me up and leave me to wander the darkness for an eternity?I need closure. If nothing else.

    Something to reason with my heart.

    Something strong enough, to drag the reluctant soul it possesses back into the prison of doubt and

    cynicism.

    Something equal to the miniscule amount of hope I feel.

    So maybe Im searching for your straight out answers to my questions.

    I need answers from you.

    I need the questions to stop coming.

    I need to stop myself from careening off the edge of the canyon.

    But it is like Im in a nightmare.One where I am watching from a third persons perspective,

    And unable to do anything to help myself.

    I treat you as a friend, a mentor, a person to have a few memories with.

    Id rather see you happy with her, the other one.

    Than to see you unhappy with me.

    The silent sighs, the knowledge I cannot do anything for you anymore.

    If you ever choose her above me, I will smile and congratulate you from the bottom of my heart.

    But from a distance, behind my eyes, the silent tears will fall.

    The feelings I feel will remain, a scar for the longest time ever.

    Ive never had my heart broken before.

    I dont want you to be the first.

    But I suppose you just might be.

    I cannot bring myself to hate you or the other.

    She is my good friend, maybe more so than you are. Or were.

    Unrequited love.

    Truly, the pain of a knife is much more bearable.

    I feel as though you have stabbed me with a hot iron, and every time you smile at another, the rod is

    withdrawn and plunged in again.

    Release me from this perpetual cycle of torture.Give me something to breakaway.

    A rope.

    A hand.

    Something.

    Anything.

    Everything is falling into place now

    I can see two roads to choose.

    One to continue my feelings and suffer more.

    Or the other to finally let you go.

    If you love something, set it free. If it was meant to be, it will come back to you.These words have never been more perfect for me.

    But I cannot.

    Perhaps its the fear you might never return.

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    Somehow I am willing to forget you. To try to turn you into the monster of my heart

    Convincing myself you hurt me and should be punished by never knowing what you would have in me.

    But then my masochistic heart whispers the painful reminders of your rare moments when I can see in

    your eyes you look at me more than you would to any other.

    That you look into me.

    And see what I truly am on the inside.

    It scares yet thrills me equally.

    A friend once told me:

    If you grasp onto a handful of sand too tightly, it will trickle away through your fingers, and nothing

    will be left. But if you loosen your grip slightly, the sand will instead rest on your palm, safely.

    Maybe I should take her advice.

    But what if the sea breeze comes and blows you away?

    I am too timid to release my fingers from its desperate clutch to keep you in there.

    So for these three weeks I am forced to part from you.

    I will reflect and wait.

    Wait. Wait. Wait.Thats all I can do now.

    The cards are in your hands.

    Your turn to deal.

    ~end~

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    Save Me From Your PainBy Victoria Chen

    My love, you yearn, you care,

    It hurts to see you so lost, wandering;

    Every moment that passes

    Reminds me of the time I could be with you.But you, my love, are lost, wandering.

    Wandering the snowy lands of the doldrums;

    Life goes by, and Im sitting there, with you,

    Beside you, reaching out, calling

    But you do not hear me.

    You turn away from my calls, unconsciously;

    Stumbling blindly, through the blizzard.

    Oh, my love! How my heart aches for your pain,

    It hurts me more to see you this way than any other man.

    Something grabs me.

    Help me! The greatest of my fears,

    Your anger, your pain, your confusion,

    Seizes me and drags me down into the fathoms,

    Deep inside your heart.

    I do not struggle, though you tell me to fight

    I meet your eyes, as I drown,Knowing that only you can save me.

    Save me! Why cannot you hear this plea?

    This cry to mercy, this cry to your pain.

    It is ending.

    Reach out from your heart,

    Pull me back, lovingly,

    Into your embrace, I willingly will go.

    Your arms the safest place to be,

    For all time.

    My love, I will drown for eternity,

    Until you choose to save me.

    My life is in your hands

    Save me from your pain.

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    The StormBy Victoria Chen

    The storm has come in.

    Thunder crashes on the shore

    As the fishing boats are pulled out

    Of the deep waters.

    The storm breaks

    On the houses, everything that the people have owned.

    Nothing is left.

    Splinters of what is left of the boats

    Are scattered among the shore.

    Deep within the depths,

    A young man is found, floating.

    No one knows where he came from,

    He doesnt know who he is.

    A home opens to him,

    One owned by a very plain girl,

    One they all say has a hidden beauty.

    The young man pays no attention.

    He goes inside, a white towel around his shoulders.

    She has very few to offer him,

    But yet she offered him all she had,

    He grows to appreciate her,

    And they become good friends.He begins to care greatly about her.

    The girl grows to love him,

    His selflessness, his yearning.

    She loves all that is good about him,

    But he pays no attention.

    He goes on, faith wrapped around his shoulders.

    One day, the girl wakes,

    And finds that he is gone,

    Without a note, without a word.The girls heart breaks,

    Another storm returns.

    This time, there is nothing left,

    Except a white towel,

    Wrapped around the body of the drowned girl.

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    The SnowBy Victoria Chen

    The snow, so cold, drowns

    Out the warmth and the laughter,

    In a cold embrace.

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    Calls of the WorldBy Victoria Chen

    Night, calls softly.

    Day, calls sadly.

    Your voice, calls caringly,

    My heart, calls longingly,

    My life, calls darkly,You turn away.

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    Under the Apple TreeBy Victoria Chen

    Sitting under the apple tree,

    I first met you.

    Sitting under the apple tree,

    We became the best of friends.

    Sitting under the apple tree,

    We watched the stars appear.

    Sitting under the apple tree,

    We felt the summer go by.

    Under the apple tree,

    We fell in love.

    Under the apple tree,

    I fell in love with you.

    Under the apple tree,

    You left me with a broken heart.

    Under the apple tree,

    I still wait, for you to return to me.

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    Summers Day EndBy Victoria Chen

    I lost you on a summers day end,

    It was an accident that never meant to happen.

    I was walking with you down the path,

    And suddenly you were gone.

    Without your support at my side,

    I tumbled off the sidewalk and fell into an abyss.

    My eyes closed and I let myself fall,

    Though the giddy feeling didnt replace my anger.

    My anger at myself, no, definitely not you.

    I cannot blame you for anything, no,

    I must blame myself.

    Blame myself for being so stupid,

    To support myself on you for so long.

    Now that youre not there,

    You cant catch me when I fall,

    Like you usually would have done.

    Im still falling, even to this day,

    Until you come to catch me again.

    So I lost everything, on a summers day end;

    Everything spiraled downwards from there,

    My life had no meaning,

    Without you in it.

    Catch me when I fall, as you would catch a shooting star.

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    You WereBy Victoria Chen

    You were there when I needed someone to listen to my words.

    You were the one that I turned to for advice.

    You were the one I began to love.

    You were there when I began to fall.

    You were the one to hold me up.You were the one.

    Now you are gone.

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    A ThreadBy Victoria Chen

    I grabbed too much at a time,

    I grabbed you too hard, too suddenly.

    Youre confused now, because of me,

    And it hurts to watch as you become lost,

    Despite my guiding hand on that ropeThat connects me to you.

    Youve fallen so far in these past few days,

    I want nothing more than to pull you to safety.

    But the way you wont look at me, makes me hesitate.

    Maybe I should leave you there until you are ready.

    However long you wait, however far you fall,

    Ill always be there at the top, waiting for you,

    Holding your rope securely, keeping you from falling any more.

    For now, Ill hold onto a thread.

    When youre ready, you can give me the whole rope,

    Slowly, inch-by-inch, fiber-by-fiber.

    It doesnt matter how long you wait,

    Ill always be here for you until the end.