the canadian family

8/3/2019 The Canadian Family

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THE CANADIAN FAMILY

The Inuit are one of the indigenous groups in Canada, which also includes FirstNations, like the Haida, the Lingit, the Lnu, and the Innu. They all have different names

for themselves, but they all mean the same thing in their respective languages, people.

The strangest invention humans ever made is words. Words try to give reality a

name, but always seem like an incomplete reflection of truth. The meaning of words is at

the mercy of whoever uses them, and altering their definition is like changing reality. Forexample, sombrero simply means hat in Spanish, but most gringos have taken it to

mean something a little more specific. Likewise, words like Inuit are now used to label

groups that are too exclusive to mean all of humanity.

Categorizing people based on things like skin color has been one of the simplest

and most problematic ways of sorting people out. I have tried to tell myself that we were

all one people and each of us individuals and that is all that mattered.

We should be honest however, and admit that anyone who says they dont see

color is probably lying to themselves. Most of us who claim to be colorblind have nothad our perceptions challenged. Most of our day to day interactions are probably limited

to people who do not look very different from ourselves.

We could be correct in stating that we are all one people, but our faith in that

belief might not be solid. We are often spared experiencing on a personal level the ethnic

conflict that others have to face every day. And unless you know what its like to spend an

extended time around people who look different than you, stop claiming to be colorblind.

I still want to believe that we are all part of one big family, but first we have todefine family. If we are all children of Eve then we must be family, though adysfunctional one. Usually we see family as a limited group where we can know

everyone on a first name basis. If I were to choose a definition, I would call family the

living, breathing, example of the potential for the bond between souls manifest as reality.

We could also end up seeing all of humanity as a world of strangers. We can

support every person in the world, the way you might for a blood sibling. Beingoverwhelmed by how large the human population is can make us feel more alone than

ever. It threatens to erode our compassion, because of the faceless dead.

There is a reason wolves are more predisposed than their dog cousins to bemistrusting. It is survival trait to help limit the size of wolf packs. This takes into account

the laws of nature, which is not all against all, but finding the most ideal group size to

find a healthy balance between the needs of one and the needs of many. Families can besimilar to this, although it is important to realize that like domesticated dogs, we do not

live in the wilderness, and can find it easier to extend our inner circle to newcomers.


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Another way to imagine family is like New Years Day. It feels like a new

beginning, even though it is no different than any other day. But when the sun rises on

January 1st it is a chance to start anew. The reality is that every sunrise represents such achance, but most days we forget this truth. If you see New Years as just another day, it

should only be because you know it is not an illusion, but a reality that is rarely seen.

That is how family should be. If shared history, blood-lines, and familiarity with

others can help us to see the ties that bind us to each other that is great. There is no

illusion in seeing that as a family. But as any foster parents should know, family is notlimited by genetics. The bonds in a traditional nuclear family are not an illusion, but a

rarely seen reality. It is that reality that should be extended to others.

Aristotle noted the whole is more than the sum of its parts. It is completelynatural to find camaraderie among people who are the same as you. As a part of human

nature it explains, but does not justify, our habits of tribalism. But as with all aspects of

human nature, this need for acceptance among peers can manifest itself in unacceptable

forms. The popularity of street gangs, like the Bloods and the Crips, shows our inherentdesire to join together, something that should help us achieve global brotherhood, but

instead often leads us to organized crime and turf wars.

How do we determine who is the same as us? Most organisms rely on shared

genes. Animals will sometimes extend their sense of self-preservation to their closest

relatives. This is not too dissimilar to the basic tribal rule of me and my brother againstmy cousin, me my brother and my cousin against the stranger.

Whoever is judged to be different remains an outsider, but difference is alwaysrelative. People see a division between Christians and Muslims, but on a smaller scale

you could see divisions between Catholics, Protestants, and East Orthodox on one side,

and Sunni and Shiite on the other. What seem from the outside as unified groups oftenhave internal strife. There are almost an infinite number of potential subdivisions. Among

all people there are both similarities and differences, and we choose which to

acknowledge. Therefore, whether you see someone as the same as you, or you see themas being different than you, you are right.

No matter where you draw the line between us and them, you are being

selective about which similarities and differences you acknowledge. Drawing lines can beuseful in helping see those on your side as being the same as you, just as provincial

boundaries help the Quebecois see the reality of their nation. But consider the possibility

that you can find people beyond that line that you can consider your own.

In college I took an interest in Israeli dancing. The ties I forged with others got

me invited to activities put on by the Jewish Student Union. It felt like a warm blanket ofbelonging that I didnt get just from defining myself asHomo sapiens. I now knew why

people invested pride in more specific labels, like Jewish, Irish, or whatever.


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There is the ageless question who is a Jew? Some people think that Christians

are actually Jews, because Jesus was a rabbi, and the Last Supper was actually Passover.

However, when considering that Christians outnumber Jews by over a hundred to one, toclassify all of them as Jews would overpower the Hebrew identity. It would be like trying

to see the glow of a candle flame in front of a flood light.

This doesnt mean that the line between Christianity and Judaism cant become

fuzzy. Early Christianity started out as just another Jewish sect. Some churches remember

these roots, so they decorate their stained-glass church windows with Hebrew letters andthe Star of David. The Seventh-Day Adventists keep the Sabbath on Saturday. The most

Jewish of all Christian groups calls itself Jews for Jesus, although they arent really

viewed as Jewish by anyone other than themselves.

If it werent for their attempts to make all Jews accept Jesus as the Messiah I

might accept the Jews for Jesus as part of the Jewish tribe. But once you start practicing

exclusion it is hard to stop. Some Jews do not accept members of the Reform movement

as being Jewish. The ultra-Orthodox, who represent only a fraction of the Jewish people,dont consider any Jews other than themselves Jewish.

Some Jews mistake Jewish people as being limited to specific ethnic composition,

seeing someone as being more Jewish based on genetics. That almost sounds like

Slytherins thinking they are better than any wizards with Muggle parents. It also fails to

recognize diversity among the Jewish people. Ethiopian Jews have been targeted bydiscrimination in Israel, and even Sephardic Jews deal with Yiddish ethnocentrism. When

we try to make the division lines of our tribes too rigid, they can be like cracks in a

windshield that might start small but can just get bigger and bigger.

I have heard ultra-Orthodox Judaism described as being like the skeleton of a

body. It is hard and rigid, and it does not make up the complete body, but it helps to giveit form. This does not mean that all parts of the body must closely conform to the

skeleton. One might not usually consider a Christian to be Jewish, if for no other reason

than to avoid confusion, but that doesnt mean that there are no possible exceptions.Although it was only in a movie, I was impressed by the story of a priest who insisted

that he be taken hostage by terrorists who were abducting all of the Jewish passengers on

a plane. I think anyone who shows that kind of a commitment can be counted among the

people, without diluting them.

We dont have to say that we are all of one tribe. But realize that our tribal

solidarity represents a sentiment that we should extend wherever we possibly can.Working to realize the brotherhood and sisterhood of all humanity would help fulfill the

Hebrew ideal ofTikkun Olam, which means repair the world.

Language has helped divide us. Sometimes even different pronunciation of

names, like Acadian and Cajun, can make us forget our shared roots. If we think

about how confused language has made us, hopefully we can start to see that there is a

truth that we have long since forgotten. That truth being, that we are all still one people.


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ON BEING A BETTER HUMAN, CANADIAN, AND (INSERT LABLE HERE)

For millennia our tribes were only aware of a small fraction of humanity, but they

could easily believe that they represented the entire species, and that their ways were the

ways of the world. Even in the information age, all of us have only experienced a smallsample of humanity. Yet we all think we know definitively what it means to be human,

assuming that whatever habits we possessed were natural human habits.

What an amazing coincidence, thinking your norms should be what everyone

should adhere to. After all, it is always simply everyone except yourself who has to

change isnt it? To believe that we ourselves represent the golden standard of humanity is

as foolish and nave as when we assumed that the Earth was flat. In the name of betteringthe species we try to change, subjugate, or exterminate those who seem different.

Human habit is often mistaken for human nature, and human nature is often

mistaken for human habit. Just as we are quick to mistake our customs for beinguniversal, we often mistake universal human traits for being unique for certain types of

people. This is known as stereotyping, and it helps make the illusionary differences ofrace ethnicity seem real in our minds eye. It has made us assume that we could

determine from birth what a persons capabilities were, and thus there lot in life.

Stereotypes are not always dictated from the top down however. Cultural groupsform their own stereotypes about themselves, which can make them limit perceptions of

their potential. Groups like the Crunchy Cons know this pressure. They might be

politically conservative, but they still manage to integrate an organic lifestyle into theirlives. Most conservatives dont follow their lead, because this is seen as lefty.

Mainstream conservatives limit themselves by assuming that the traits embraced by the

Crunchy Cons are exclusively the domain of their sworn enemies. Most people are notcomfortable enough with their sense of identity to feel free to be this genuine in their

expression of self. They let others set the standard for them. This is true of politics, and

can be true of ethnicity as well.

Even when we identify with a specific tribe we can find it easy to forget how

much diversity there can be in that tribe. Our tribes can be like a microcosm of the world,

and can face the same problems of members trying to push their specific traits as theproper traits for the entire tribe. A portion of Americans, both non-Jewish and Jewish,

assume that Yiddish is universally synonymous with Judaism. However, we can not

expect Sephardic Jews who came from North Africa and spoke Ladino to identify withYiddish, but they are no less Jewish.

Sometimes we can spend so much time trying to defend ourselves from threats toour identity originating from outside of our tribe that we ignore the threats that can come

from within. By trying to avoid conformity we can fall into the trap of alternative

conformity. That is like running off a cliff to escape a fire. We emancipate ourselves

from one type of mental slavery, only to become bound to another.


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Politicos might sound like they go against the grain. But often they have their own

status quo and few are willing to be the tall poppy, for fear of being cut down. Some ofthe most extreme activist groups I have met were made up of people who only hung out

with their fellow activists, making it easy to reinforce their convictions without doubt. If

everyone you know is an extremist then there is nothing radical about extremism.

We should try to resist the pressure to conform to an over simplified vision of the

human identity. We should also resist pressure to conform to over simplified visions ofour tribal identities. If we use ethnicity as an excuse to justify conformity then we are

becoming the destructive force that threatens almost all of our human variety.

Another challenge that we face in a modern multicultural world is that ourawareness of neighbors coming from different cultural ethnic backgrounds makes it easy

for us to give certain traits we see in them a color code. Just as we can mistake many of

our habits as universally human, we can mistake some of the habits we see in others as

ethnically exclusive. Then, if someone from one ethnic group shows habits we haveassociated with another, we assume that they are not being true to themselves.

A lot of people have color coded music, so there are certain musical genres, like

rock, that are considered white, and others, like rap, that are considered black. This has

lead to the ostracizing (by both whites and blacks) of groups like the Afro-punk

community, for liking and making music considered white. People have tried to defineFefe Dobsons musical style as R&B even though she is obviously rock, because some

might consider a black girl making rock music as crossing enemy lines.

The fallacy of this argument is obvious because rock music was originally seen as

black. A lot of customs we see as color-coded have connections to different ethnic

groups. For instance, in South Africa rugby has been viewed as a white sport whilesoccer was viewed as a black one. But soccer remains popular in Europe (where it was

invented). Soccer was popular among white South Africans as well, until it became

integrated, and whites sought refuge in the still white-dominated sport of rugby.Everyones sense of identity has borrowed something from others.

As if it wasnt bad enough that we still color code music and sports, we also try to

color code peoples abilities. This is how we once justified restricting higher educationprimarily to whites, assuming they were the only ones capable of intellectual pursuits.

The worst part is how now there are many inner-city youth who see doing well in school

as synonymous with acting white, thus having internalized the poor assumptions of old,only now using a twisted sense of pride to sustain them. I am not saying that everyone

has to act white. I am simply saying that people should in no way be inhibited from

being themselves, or becoming the best selves that they can be.

***


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I was ashamed of the people rioting in Vancouver after the Canucks lost the 2011

Stanley Cup. How could they dare call themselves proud Canadians and act in such a

way? I expect Canadians to hold themselves to a higher standard of behavior.

Here I am using patriotism as motivation to encourage self improvement. These

people indeed should have higher standards for themselves because they are Canadian.But I do not mean for personal responsibility to be limited to Canadians. All the people of

the world should hold themselves up to high level of self-respect, but if using the

language of nationalism helps make that reality more real to the people then use it.

I believe that as members of the human race we possess great power that we

rarely give ourselves credit for. If learning about the good deed of a relative or a heroic

action by members of your ethnic group helps you to realize your own inner strength,there is no illusion in that awareness. It is once again a truth that is rarely seen. The only

illusion would be if we thought by recognizing this self-worth in ourselves that other

people must not possess it.

People might look to their ethnic/cultural identity to help see the truth in their

human abilities. This has lead to phrases like black is beautiful, which can be useful ifit motivates people to have a sense of self-respect that they might be lacking otherwise. It

just should never be interpreted by anyone as meaning that Caucasians are any less

beautiful. The ultimate truth we are trying to realize is that humans are beautiful,

regardless of race. Some might discover this by framing their sense of pride in terms ofethnicity. Unfortunately misinterpreting this has lead to black and white supremacist

groups. Never gauge your own worth by envisioning a lack of worth in others.

***

I tried to adopt hippie clothes and customs in college, because I assumed they allembodied the commitment to build a better world. I have never been so disappointed in

my entire life.

Most of my Jewish friends, although most of them were not hippies, got very

involved in humanitarian issues, because ofTikkun Olam. Others might take the same

actions because they see it as their Christian duty. Boy Scouts might feel motivated by

their own sense of identity to do good deeds, but I can tell you from my personalobservations that it is easy for people to wear the uniform and still be a dick. And yet

others can make the most of themselves without getting merit badges for it.

Any sense of identity we create for ourselves is a lens to try and see a bigger truth.

Whether we are trying to be a better hippie, a better Jew, a better Christian or Muslim, a

better Boy Scout, or a better Inuit, that pursuit is supposed to be perfectly in line withtrying to be a better human.

P.S. I still like tie-dyes.

the canadian family

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