______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Cntd. on page 2______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Students Warned to Behave on Final Day of Term___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Donie O Sullivan_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

IUCD

Students Crack Following Egg-ceptional Move by University____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Donie O Sullivan____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Sports 14-16Features 5-6News 1-4 Gaeilge 7 Opinion 8 April 20th 2011 | Vol. 24 No 12

The

The difference is were independent Printed in Ireland

Interview with Leinster Coach, Joe Schmidt __________________________________________________page 14 Sport

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Continued on page 5______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Rs UCD a Runaway Success________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Sinad Williams________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

UCD Students scrambled to

Facebook last week following the

disappearance of one of Belfi elds

most iconic monuments.

A Save our Egg Facebook page

was set up when students noticed

that Noahs Egg, a large cast

bronze egg sculpture adjacent to

the Veterinary Science building,

was removed.

The Save our Egg campaign, a

parody of the successful Students

Union Save our Ball campaign,

had over 1,000 followers on Face-

book at the time of going to print.

Social media speculation on why

the sculpture was removed was

rife throughout the week. Some

students suggested that the Egg

had been taken by Trinity College

Summer Music Festivals Preview __________________________________________________Siren pages 4-5

EU-IMF Analysis __________________________________________________page 8

The second annual Rs UCD took

place last Saturday with almost 400

people taking part in the 5km race

around campus, which was or-

ganised by An Cumann Gaelach,

UCD Volunteers Overseas (UCD

VO) and the UCD Athletics Club.

Over 4,500 was raised by the

event for the projects of UCD

VO, with the race attracted staff

and students from UCD, as well as

runners from around the country.

The event was set up to raise funds

for UCD VO. The organisation

was established in 2003 by former

UCD Chaplain, Fr. Tony Coote,

and now off ers students, staff and

alumni of UCD the opportunity

to participate in development

projects overseas. Projects are ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Continued on page 6______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

UCD and the Students Union (SU) have told students that misbehaviour on campus this Thursday, the fi nal day of term, could lead to the cancellation of the rescheduled UCD Ball.The annual event was rescheduled and moved to Saturday, May 23rd following negotiations between the University and the SU after it was revealed that the event could not be held on campus on the original date scheduled, Thursday, April 21st.A section of the memorandum of understanding signed by UCD President, Dr. Hugh Brady, and SU President, Paul Lynam, states, UCD Students Union will issue a communication to all students outlining the need for good behaviour in advance of and during the UCD Ball. This communication will highlight that inappropriate behaviour on April 21st will jeopardise the UCD Ball on the 23rd April.Such a stipulation exists as the SU and University fear that some students may celebrate the fi nal

day of term on campus and break University regulations.When the news broke two weeks ago that the UCD Ball had been cancelled, several thousand students expressed an interest in

attending a Facebook event called The Alternative UCD Ball, en-couraging students to congregate on the athletics track on Thursday the 21st. The event has since been removed from the social network-ing website.A UCD spokesperson reiterated the understanding on Friday, telling The College Tribune, As agreed with the UCD Students Union, a communication has been sent to all students encouraging good behaviour in advance of and

during the UCD Ball so as not to jeopardise the event.An email sent to every student in the University from the SU stated, In order for the ball to go ahead, the Students Union must comply with a set of stipulations. One of the key stipulations laid down by the university is that good behaviour on Thursday April 21st is a must. If there are ANY incidences of anti-social behaviour on the original date of the ball, the UCD Ball, now scheduled for Saturday 23rd of April will not go ahead.The statement continued, The Students Union will condemn any

Students Crack Following Egg-ceptional Move by University_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ ______________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

A communication has been sent to all students encouraging good behaviour in advance of and during the UCD Ball so as not to jeopardise the event. ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Even Collee, the UCD Soccer mascot, wonders where the egg is

2 | www.collegetribune.ie

off campus beforehand as they will not be permitted to move it on Saturday.Paul Lynam, SU President, explained to The College Tribune that students who break regular campus rules on the fi nal day of term may have their details taken by campus security, and could be refused entrance to the UCD Ball on Saturday.Jonny Cosgrove, SU Ents Offi cer

students in breach of the Student Code and will support the Uni-versity in disciplinary action. The Students Union have made every eff ort to come to an agreement with the University in order for the UCD Ball to proceed. We will condemn students who jeopardise this agreement with anti-social behaviour. [sic.]Students who live on campus will need wristbands to access resi-dences and are not permitted to keep over-night guests. Students who live on campus have also been reminded that should they wish to use their car on the day of the UCD Ball, they must park it

Students Warned to Behave on Final Day of Term

News

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Donie O Sullivan______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Continued from cover______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

said, I would tell students to enjoy themselves on Thursday, just keep it within in the rules, you can have a great time and it should be a great day in the bar. We dont want the minority ruining it all for the majority.Cosgrove also pointed out that we saved the Ball, so we dont want to lose it now. Its our Ball, so let everyone enjoy it.

YOU Shall Go to the Ball________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Donie O Sullivan________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

UCD Students are set to enjoy the rescheduled UCD Ball this Saturday with an array of national and international acts expected to perform on the Athletics Track.At the time of going to print, The College Tribune was unable to gather the information of the acts confi rmed to play the 2011 UCD Ball from UCD Students Union (SU), however news of the line-up will be available on www.collegetribune.ie when made available.The Ball, which Met ireann (at the time of print) forecast to occur on a warm Saturday with temperatures to reach 18 Celsius, is normally held on the fi nal day of term. However the event was temporarily cancelled when UCD authorities said they could not allow the event to take place on

campus on Thursday, 21st April.A successful Save our Ball cam-paign was launched by the Ball's organisers, UCD Students' Union, which eventually led to the Uni-versity agreeing to allow the Ball to take place on Saturday, 23rd.Jonny Cosgrove, UCD SU Enter-tainments Offi cer spoke about the success of the Save Our Ball cam-paign, The momentum picked up in the fi rst 24 hours, we didn't expect it to get as big as it did.Cosgrove explained that the re-scheduling of the Ball put the Ents team under pressure to organise the event in less than two weeks.Myself and Paul Kilgallon have not really stopped for a minute. We have to make sure every aspect of the event goes ahead from the line up, to the chipper vans, to the concessions.

The Ball will continue the same format as previous years with two stages and performances beginning at 2pm and fi nishing up before midnight.The Big Wheel ferris wheel which had been promised by Cosgrove for the original date is unavailable for the rescheduled Ball, but Cosgrove promises some other high adrenaline rides.

Tickets for the UCD Ball are available from the SU Library Shop and ucdents.com.

For the latest news in the run-up and in the afters of the UCD Ball, log on to www.collegetribune.ie

www.collegetribune.ie | 3

News

TICKETS on saleApril 14thTHIS THURSDAY @ 12pmfrom the Library Shop & online @ www.UCDEnts.comTickets 39.99Student card required Maximum 2 tickets per person roar / gov id

WE SAVED

UCD Ents in association with Spin 103.8 are proud to present...

23rd April 2011rd April 2011NEW DATE:

4 | www.collegetribune.ie

News

SU Executive Ocers Elected in Unconstitutional Election_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Michael Phoenix_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Voting took place last week across the faculties of UCD as next

years Students Union (SU) Programme and Executive Of-

fi cers were elected.

Four students fought it out for the two executive positions

within Arts where 1104 votes were polled, creating a quota of

365 to be reached. Michel Gallagher and Aisling Sheerin came

out on top with 35% and 31% of the vote respectively, besting

Philly McCann and Mark Stokes.

Commenting on the race, Gallagher expressed his delight at

winning a position. I think euphoric would be the word

I ran last year and came third, so it just goes to show you have

to keep trying. Gallagher, who lost the Arts election by only

sixteen votes last year, said he was looking forward to working

with Ms. Sheerin to implement the promises of their manifestos.

Aisling is a great woman, very organised, shell be excellent

to work alongside. Gallagher also praised the friendly

nature of the race, commenting It was a very clean

race I think there were a lot of friends made.

Five contested the PRO race in Science, however,

unlike in Arts, only one position was up for grabs. The

position was taken by Chris Wong who took 55% of the

vote, who said his hard work paid off . I put my best into

it, Im glad so many people supported me. He promised to

take on board the ideas of the other candidates they had

amazing ideas and Ive been discussing those with them.

Catherine Murnane, Roisin Conran and Aidan Conroy ran

unopposed in Law, Business and Health Sciences respectively.

No sizeable RON campaign was mounted against any of the

candidates with Murnane taking 88% of the vote, Conran

97% and Conroy 91%. Next years Law programme offi cer

Murnane said she was eager to get started. Im really looking

forward to getting more involved in the law school and fi nally

dealing with issues that many students seemed unhappy with.

Commenting on the peculiar situation, strangely prevalent in

these elecions, of running a campaign with the option to re-

open nominations as the sole opponent, Murnane admitted It saved me having to worry about burning a hole

in my pocket. I put my manifesto online instead of printing off countless copies and it still got a great response.

Caoimhe Seoige was elected Irish Language Offi cer in an uncontested

race with 89% of the total pole, whilst Martin Lawless was re-elected

unopposed to the post of Postgraduate Offi cer with 86%. Emma Lynch

will be next years Agricultural Science PRO after garnering 94% of the

vote from a total pole of 72 votes. In the veterinary election, 91 votes

were cast, with Becca Keefe taking 85% of the vote in the uncontested

race. The position of Gender Equality Offi cer, formerly Womans Of-

fi cer, was won by Patrick Wolohan, who will work closely with next

years Welfare Vice-President Rachel Breslin. Wolohan took 83% of the

vote with 1879 votes. The position was rechristened under its new title

following the result of the recent referendum run alongside this years

sabbatical elections.

Conrad Richardson will be the new Environmental Offi cer, after seeing

off Risn Carlos in a tight race with Richardson taking 53% of the vote

to Rosins 41%. As pointed out in The College Tribune, this years Pro-

gramme Offi cer elections were held in breach of the SU constitution.

The elections, which took place in week 11, disregarded the explicit

wording of the constitution stating they must be held no earlier than

week seven, and by week ten of semester two of the college term. Arti-

cle 23, section 1, referring to the election of Directly Elected Executive

Offi cers states, The Postgraduate Offi cer, the Irish Language Offi cer,

the Womens Offi cer and Environmental Offi cer shall be collectively be

known as the Directly Elected Executive Offi cers and shall be elected

annually in elections held not earlier than the seventh week of the sec-

ond semester and not later than the tenth week of the second semester.

When asked whether this may weaken the position of the incoming of-

fi cers, Michel Gallagher said that they would have to wait and see.

We cant be entirely sure what it will mean.

Incoming Science PRO Chris Wong pointed out that the late elections

were stressfully close to the fi nal semester exams. Unsuccessful Arts

PRO candidate, Mark Stokes, had previously voiced his concerns sur-

rounding the issue to The College Tribune. Anyone who receives the

winning vote in the election would not have a mandate that they could

follow through on. The issue, however, was put to the IAB, who in

eff ect may have had little alternative but to allow the elections as neces-

sarily valid and affi rm their results. Paul Lynam, UCDSU President said he accepted the IABs ruling and added

mistakes were made this year that will be reconciled next year.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Voting took place last week across the faculties of UCD as next

years Students Union (SU) Programme and Executive Of-

Four students fought it out for the two executive positions

within Arts where 1104 votes were polled, creating a quota of

365 to be reached. Michel Gallagher and Aisling Sheerin came

out on top with 35% and 31% of the vote respectively, besting

Commenting on the race, Gallagher expressed his delight at

winning a position. I think euphoric would be the word

I ran last year and came third, so it just goes to show you have

to keep trying. Gallagher, who lost the Arts election by only

sixteen votes last year, said he was looking forward to working

with Ms. Sheerin to implement the promises of their manifestos.

Aisling is a great woman, very organised, shell be excellent

position was taken by Chris Wong who took 55% of the

vote, who said his hard work paid off . I put my best into

it, Im glad so many people supported me. He promised to

take on board the ideas of the other candidates they had

amazing ideas and Ive been discussing those with them.

Catherine Murnane, Roisin Conran and Aidan Conroy ran

unopposed in Law, Business and Health Sciences respectively.

No sizeable RON campaign was mounted against any of the

candidates with Murnane taking 88% of the vote, Conran

97% and Conroy 91%. Next years Law programme offi cer

Murnane said she was eager to get started. Im really looking

forward to getting more involved in the law school and fi nally

dealing with issues that many students seemed unhappy with.

Commenting on the peculiar situation, strangely prevalent in

News In Brief all sides of an argument: they are then able to take decisions on what are often quite complex issues.The assembly will consist of 150 people representative of a cross-section of Irish society. The Academic team is also made up of Dr. Jane Suiter of University College Cork, Dr. Eoin OMalley of Dublin City University and Dr. Elaine Byrne of Trinity. An international board of Aca-demics will also provide advice.

UCD academic to investigate GMIT complaints procedureA UCD academic is to take part in an external investigation in to how Galway Mayo Institute of Technology (GMIT) responded to and dealt with complaints/ suspicions of plagiarism. Professor Bairbre McRedmond, UCD deputy registrar of teach-ing and learning, along with a barrister and mediator have been invited by GMITs acting president to investigate how the institution dealt with an allega-tion of plagiarism at the colleges School of Business, which has already been subject to three internal inquiries.

The incident involved a fi nal year student gaining access to a password-protected instruc-tors manual containing simple answers to assessment questions. The student was subsequently docked marks, but the School of Business had initially treated the allegation as minor rather than major.The investigation will focus on the procedure of dealing with the complaint but also as to whether any relevant matter was sup-pressed, concealed or covered up by the department, school or institute, or any member of staff and potentially may be extended . . . to cover any matter that has a direct bearing on the specifi c incident.

USPS Deliver Wrong StatueThe US Postal service has been embarrassed by revelations that their latest limited edition stamp features a Casino replica of the world famous Statue of Liberty, rather than the Liberty Island original. The stamp, 3 billion of which have already been issued, depicts the face of the half-size model currently on display in the New York-New York casino in Las Vegas, a mistake which was pointed out by a keen stamp col-lector. We still love the stamp design and would have selected this photograph anyway, said Roy Betts, a spokesman for the USPS. Mr. Betts did say, howev-er, that the post offi ce regrets the error and is re-examining our processes to prevent this situation from happening in the future.

Farrell to lead We the Citizens think-tankUCD politics Professor David Farrell is to be the academic lead of a team of political scientists tasked with devising a strategy to renew trust in public life. We the Citizens, the independent national initiative funded by Atlantic Philanthropies, will hold a national assembly in June to consider methods of making

political institutions better serve the people of Ireland. Professor Farrell, head of the School of Politics & International Relations in UCD, said at the launch of the programme last week, that [Citizen assemblies] are a new and innovative way of allowing citizens to be actively involved in taking important decisions that aff ect our daily lives. Citizens are given the opportunity to be informed, to consider and debate

No Surprises at Radioheads AwardsThe second annual Belfi eld FM Ball (BFMies) produced a clean sweep of the major awards for the Student Media Awards shortlisted News show, with head of news Amy Walsh taking home Best Female Presenter and anchor Gordon OCallaghan picking up Best Male. News on Belfi eld FM was also co-awarded Best Show, along with lunchtime show UCD&U. Darragh OConnor was awarded Best Speciality show for The Wrestling Show. Speaking after the ceremony in the Belvedere Hotel, Station Manager Ciara Murphy said, It was really tough to choose [winners] this year because the standard of talent was so high. It was a really great year that wouldnt have been achievable without the volunteers. Murphy, along with assistants Dire Brennan and Danny Murray, were thanked by the stations regulars for their contribution during the year. The station is now taking applications for managerial positions in the coming academic year (see page 14).

www.collegetribune.ie | 5

News

Rs UCD a Runaway Success________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Sinad Williams________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

currently being run in India,

Haiti, Nicaragua and Tanzania;

for example, health care centres

have been built in Nicaragua and

computer education programmes

have been set up in Tanzania.

Participants paid between 8

and 15 to take part in the race,

depending on whether they reg-

istered before or on the day, and

whether or not they are a student.

Sponsorship of the event meant

that each runner received a free

t-shirt and goody bag for their

involvement. Centra and Foras na

Gaeilge sponsored the goody bags,

while Ramblers Way sponsored

the t-shirts. 2,000 was donated

by Bord na Gaeilge towards the

organisation of the race, while

further donations were received

from other sources. Runners were

treated to a free sports massage af-

ter the race and a very successful

cake sale was held.

The race was won by Emmett

Dunleavy from County Sligo,

who fi nished the race in a time

of just over 15 minutes. UCD

student Robert Corbally fi nished

in second place, while his fellow

student Laura N Sheachnasaigh

was the fastest female competitor.

The fastest person in the Under

20s category was student Killian

Mooney, with the Over 40 and

Over 50 categories being won

by Eddie McGrath and Eugene

Doherty respectively. Participants

could choose to run or walk the

fi ve kilometres, with all competi-

tors fi nishing the race in just under

50 minutes.

Founder of the race, Dnal

Hanratty, said that he felt that the

day went really, really well. He

said that people from all over the

country came along...we were very

pleased with the turn out. Han-

ratty went on to say that all money

raised would go directly to UCD

VO, as sponsorship had been found

to cover the costs of the race.

All the entrance fees that people

paid to get into the race, all of

that money went straight towards

the projects in Haiti, Nicaragua,

Tanzania and India.

Peadar Lamhna, who was

involved in registration for the

race, said that he was very happy

with how the event went, saying

that it was very well organised.

Welfare Offi cer elect Rachel Bres-

lin took part in the race, stating

that it was really well run, really

fun and everyone who took part

seemed to really enjoy it. She said

that she was very happy with her

performance in the race.

Richard Pyne, a fi rst-time cross-

country runner, also participated

in the Rs.

He said that the event was bril-

liantly organised with easy

registration and a well mapped out

course. I really enjoyed because

it was organised well and there was

no pressure.

Chairman of the Rs UCD com-

mittee, Tim Grummell, was also

pleased with the success event. The

PhD student was head of the com-

mittee which organised the race.

This committee was made up of

members of An Cumann Gaelach,

UCD VO and UCD Athletics

Club. SU Sports Offi cer, Brendan

Lacey, was also involved in the

organisation of the event, though

only in the initial stages accord-

ing to Grummell. Lacey told The

College Tribune that the race had

unfortunately coincided with

his election campaign.

Grummell feels however that the

Rs should be promoted more

throughout the year. The Rs

UCD should be pushed on the

UCD calendar at all times. He

also said that the event should be

organised earlier. Fellow organiser,

Paul Gleeson, agreed, comment-

ing that the Rs will be bigger

next year and organised from

September.

Several sources have claimed that

UCD Students Union was not

heavily involved in the organisa-

tion of the Rs, though according

to Hanratty, they helped with

printing out posters and use of

phones and offi ces.

However, The College Tribune saw

none of the current Students Un-

ion sabbatical offi cers at the event.

Continued from cover______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Athletes start the second annual Rs UCD, Photo: Dire Brennan

6 | www.collegetribune.ie

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ahs Egg represents the beginnings

and potential of life, and symbol-

ises both the fi eld of veterinary

medicine and the scholarly pursuits

and ambitions of the Veterinary

students and staff .

The Egg was created by Kerry na-

tive Rachel Joynt, who is also re-

sponsible for Perpetual Motion,

a large sphere with road markings

which stands on the Naas dual

carriageway.

The University President, Dr.

Hugh Brady, was unavailable for

comment when contacted by The

College Tribune.

However sources in the

University say he likes his eggs

hard-boiled.

students, whilst others believed its

removal was in some way related

to the possibility of Barack Obama

visiting the University.

When contacted by The College

Tribune on the infamous eggs

whereabouts, the University in-

sisted it was safe.

A UCD spokesperson said, In the

interests of good care, Noahs

Egg was placed into storage to

facilitate ground works in the area.

Once the works are completed, it

will be returned to public display.

The sculpture, which was unveiled

in 2004, was a gift to the UCD

Faculty of Veterinary Medicine

from racehorse trainer Dermot

Weld, a former student of the

University.

The sculpture is covered with

sperm-like shapes of various crea-

tures including man, bull, rabbit,

rat and hamster.

It is also decorated with small

holes, which create a planetarium-

like eff ect when viewed from the

pointed end.

According to the University, No-

Students Crack Following Egg-ceptional Move by University_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Donie O Sullivan_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Continued from cover______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

In the interests of good care, Noahs Egg was placed into storage to facilitate ground works in the area.______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

www.collegetribune.ie | 7

Gaeilge

Tar is an Chreatha__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Maria N Shthigh__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

T traidisin lidir ag muintir na

Seapine thart ar an am seo den

bhliain. Chomh luath is a fheictear

an chad bhlth ar chrann siln

bonn gach orlach de thalamh i

mbeagnach gach pirc sa tr pl-

daithe le daoine ag ithe, ag l agus

ag ceiliradh teacht an Earraigh.

Go hiondil ironn daoine leis

an ngrian chun spota deas a fhil

d gcisir ach i mbliana t clocha

i bhfad nos m ar phaidrn na

ndaoine.

Mar gheall ar an gcrith taln a

bhuail oirthuaisceart na tre ar an

11 Mrta fuair breis is 13,500

duine bs, t nos m n 14,500

fs ar ceal agus fgadh beagnach

140,000 gan foscadh gan ddean.

Ba an tr crith taln is m a

ndearnadh taifeadadh air riamh ar

domhan agus tgfaidh s tamall

fada dul i ngleic le himpleachta

na tubaiste. Ach is dream lidir,

crga iad na Seapnaigh agus ar

fud na tre t daoine ag danamh a

ndchill dul ar aghaidh leis an saol

mar is gnth.

I dTiceo, mar shampla, n dhear-

nadh aon damiste struchtrach

agus mar sin an t-aon chomhartha

gur tharla tragid mr millteach

n iarrachta an rialtais leis an

leictreachas a chaomhn. Mar sin

nl na scilein mhra fgraochta i

Shibuya ar sil agus an rud canna

leis na soilse a lasann na crainn

siln istoche. Cinnte is fidir

maireachtil gan na ruda seo.

Ar an taobh eile den bhd t

bagairt ann i gcna maidir le

fadhb niclach Fukushima agus

nos prinn n sin bfhidir, na

hiar-chreathanna mra a bhuaile-

ann an phromhchathair ar bhonn

laethil, nach mr, agus cathracha

thuaidh nos minice fs. Dar

le hOifi g Meitareolaochta na

Seapine rinneadh taifeadadh ar

nos m n 400 iar-chrith sa mh

tar is an 11 Mrta, agus sin iad

na cinn nos m n 5.0 ar an scla

Richter. Nuair a bhonn t i do

shu i gcaife agus cloiseann t 20

guthn soghluaiste ag bualadh ag

aon uair amhin tuigeann t gur

rabhchn at ann agus go mbeidh

crith-taln mr leat faoi cheann

20 soicind agus bonn dthain

ama agat dul faoin mbord chun

nach ngortfa t m thiteann

rud icint. T s sin scanril

agus tuigeann t cn fth ar fhg

an-chuid gaijin n eachtrannaigh

an tSeapin dreach i ndiaidh

an chad chreatha. Cineadh

na daoine seo, na fl y-jin n bye

bye-jin mar a thugtar orthu, go

mr sa mein Sheapnacha mar

dradh gur thrig siad an tSeapin

in am a gtair. N aontam leis seo

in aon chor ach tuigim meon na

ndaoine a scrobhann ruda mar

seo, go hirithe nuair a chloiseann

t faoi ard-fheidhmeannaigh

eachtrannacha ag bogadh a n-

oifi g go hiteanna eile san is

ar ns Hong Cong n Singeapr.

T siad buartha go gcasfaidh an

domhan a dhroim ar an tSeapin

thaobh gn agus infheistochta de.

Dreach i ndiaidh an chad chrea-

tha thinig na cadta tairiscint

cabhrach isteach gach cearn den

chruinne ach ansin dirt na tortha

canna d saorlaithe an tSeapin

a fhgil, rud a dhanfaidh i

bhfad nos m dochair don tr go

fadtrimhseach. Rinneadh scal

mr de nuair a dhiltaigh rialtas

na Seapine cabhair ireannach

i ndiaidh an 11 Mrta. Ach an

rud a chaithfear a thuiscint n gur

tr bhhrdil an tSeapin. N

carthanacht at uaithi ach cabhair.

M leanann daoine ar aghaidh ag

ceannach earra Seapnacha agus

ag teacht anseo, bfhidir n d-

reach anois, beidh s in ann cabhr

li fin ach m chaileann daoine

muinn in easprtil na tre beidh

s i bhfad nos deacra ar an tr dul

i ngleic lena cuid fadhbanna agus

dul chun cinn a dhanamh amach

anseo. I bhfocail Trcaire, n mr

dinn cabhr leo cabhr leo fin.

M dhanaimid seo faoi mar a

rinneamar leis an gcrith taln i

Kobe i 1995 nl aon dabht ach go

dtiocfaidh an tSeapin sln as an

ngarchim seo gan mhoill.

Galair an Toridigh - An baol dinn iad?__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Eoghan Murchadha__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

T struchtr beag sa mhuinel

darbh ainm an fhaireog thoride-

ach, agus is ioma hormn a

chuireann s isteach sa chras fola.

Faireog , s sin gur grpa ceall a

thlann leacht n hormin at inti

agus taistealaonn siad seo trd an

bhfuil le hifeacht a bheith acu

ar chuid eile den cholainn (fs n

meitibileacht a chur i bhfeidhm).

M tharlaonn neamhord leis an

bhfaireog is fidir go dtarlidh

galar d bharr. Feictear na galair

nos minice i measc na mban agus

iad sid at dulta in aois. Don

chuid is m beidh an mac linn

comhaimseartha sln ach go

bhfuil nos m mac linn aosta ag

freastal ar an ollscoil n mar a bh

le tamall de bhlianta, bfhidir gur

mhaith againn sil a chaitheamh

ar na galair seo. Ceann acu, Galar

Graves, bonn s ar dhuine n

beirt as thart faoi gach mle duine.

An fhoirm is m ina bhfeictear

an galar seo n in ainglis n meall

mr a ghobann as muinl daoine.

Faireog ar chruth fileacin at

lonnaithe chun tosaigh sa mhu-

inel, dreach faoin ll brd, an

fhaireog thorideach, a thlann

hormin thbhachtacha a mbonn

tionchar acu ar mheitibileacht na

gceall inr gcolainn. Baineann s

sid as an iaidn le torocsan(T4)

agus tr-iadaitorinn(T3)

(hormin) a chruth, agus is iad

seo a dhanann rial ar chuid

thbhachtach de fhs is de mheiti-

bileacht r gcolainneacha. T an

fhaireog thorideach faoi stiir

an hipeatalamais agus na faireoige

piotta (faireoga san inchinn

a thlann hormin a mbonn

ifeacht acu ar an bhfaireog

thorideach.)

T dh phromhchinel galair

a ironn as na faireoga seo, ar

an gcad dul sos t an hip-

irtorideacht, n ina bhfgtar

go gcruthatear an-iomarca de na

hormin thorideacha seo. Mura

gcruthatear a dthain hormn

torideach, is hipitorideacht a

bhonn i gceist. An d ghalar is m

a tharlaonn d mbarr seo n Galar

Graves (as Robert James Graves

dochtir ireannach a ainmnodh

seo) agus Toridteas Hashimoto

faoi seach.

M chuirtear isteach ar feidhmean-

na an toridigh tr easpa hormn

a chur ar fil, san hipitorideacht,

is fidir bheith ag sil go mbeidh

daoine traochta, go mbeidh siad

mall thaobh luas na hintinne.

San hipirtorideacht bonn daoine

ag brcadh allais, cailleann siad

mechain, ironn siad rthe

go hasca, is bonn siad suaite is

neirbhseach. Is fidir fadhbanna a

bheith ann chomh maith le cruth

an toridigh fin. Sa chs seo

bheadh cist(mla neamhghnch a

bhfuil bhar leachtach, gsach n

leathsholadach ann) n

ailse i gceist.

Dantar galar sa torideach a

dhiagnisi le tstil fola do na

leibhil T4 agus T3 at san fhuil

a fhil amach. Dantar omh

ar an bhfaireog ar ns scanadh

ultrafhuaime le mid is cruth

na faireoige a fhiosr. Dantar

bithipse (Nuair a bhaintear cuid

de fhochn duine agus iad beo ar

mhaithe leis an diagnisi) chomh

maith, ach go hirithe i gcsanna

ailse. Breathnidh paiteola ar an

sampla fochin seo.

thaobh cir leighis tugtar cgas

leis an oiread hormn a scaoiltear a

laghd n cuirtear hormin shin-

tiseacha ar fail do dhaoine

de rir mar is g.

Titear i muinn na minliachta

nuair a bhonn an fhaireog

rmhr. Chomh maith is fidir

radaocht a sid leis an bhfaireog

a scrios m t s rmhr.

GluaisMeitibileachtna prisis cheimiceacha a tharlaonn sa chill is san orgnach a choinnonn beo iad.scanadh ultrafhuaimesid na dtonnta ultrafhuaime le scanadh a dhan-amh ar an gcolainn(an corp).Scanadh - omh.paiteola dochtir a dhanann staidar ar phrisis na ngalar.fochn cuid den cholainn a bhfuil cealla ann a bhfuil an struchtr is an fheidhm channa acu. (tissue)hormin shintiseacha hormin a cruthaodh go saorga(go neamhndrtha).Ainglis meall neamhghnch sa mhuinel.ll brd gnthstruchtr a ghobann as an muinel.

8 | www.collegetribune.ie

News

this debt would not be reduced, but instead only the interest is paid with debt being rolled-over as it falls due.A further agreement of receiving additional funds from the EU & IMF seems inevitable as it appears unlikely that Ireland will be able to return to the interna-tional markets in the medium term as the risk of an Irish default is still seen as a likely possibility.In ten short years, Irish banks more than tripled their total lend-ing to the Irish economy. This splurge in cheap credit produced a bubble in the property market and also in the Irish public fi nances. Revenue from indirect taxes, such as VAT and Stamp Duty from property, increased substantially during this period allowing the Irish Government to reduce taxes and increase spending more than any other country in the EU. When I have it, I spend it, was how one Irish Minister for Finance described budgetary policy at the time. That bubble is now burst and will not be returning. The subsequent collapse in government

For the fi rst time since this state was founded, the Irish Govern-ment has lost its ability to borrow on international markets. Globally, the reputation of this country has suff ered serious damage by hav-ing to resort to funding from the EU & IMF. Unfortunately, few options exist that will make this situation that much better in the short term.Ireland currently suff ers from three problems; an insolvent bank-ing system, a fi scal crisis and an uncompetitive domestic economy. Separately, each challenge would be strenuous for any new govern-ment, but all three will require equal consideration by the new Fine Gael/Labour Government. It is most unfortunate for Ireland that defaulting on unguaranteed bank bondholders is not being countenanced within the EU.To do so would greatly reduce the burden of debt on Irish taxpayers, however opting for unilateral options in contravention of the EU-IMF deal is not an attractive option when one considers the consequences. In negotiations, it is common to predict and consider the opponents alternative options. So would Ireland have a Plan B?The renegotiation by the new government on the EU-IMF deal has been compared to a game of poker by those wishing to criticize the governments eff orts.According to proponents of this analogy, the Irish Government should play a better hand in at-tempting to bluff and should use

its trump card - the threat of bringing down the entire Euro-pean fi nancial system (including Irelands) if all else fails. The kamikaze option threatens just that; self-destruction for the Irish economy should it be considered. Manageable problems may be a consequence for the stability of the European fi nancial system but rejecting assistance would be the fi nal nail in the coffi n of the Irish economy. Other critics have proposed that Ireland should strike out unilaterally, defaulting on bank bondholders and, if required, choose to leave the Euro zone. A unilateral default on bondholders would threaten the funds from the EU-IMF. These are Irelands lend-ers of last resort. Currently neither the Irish state, nor the Irish banks, can borrow at all on international markets. An immediate funding crisis for the Irish state would not be out of the question in which case larger cuts in public sector pay and social welfare would be imme-diate and automatic.Perhaps, unilaterally defaulting on bank bondholders was an option for the Fianna Fil/Green Govern-ment, as last year Ireland could borrow on international markets. However that is a debate for eco-nomic historians to consider, not for policy makers. That unilateral option is certainly not open to Ireland now though, we are bor-rowing from the EU-IMF as there is no one else to borrow from.Ireland adopted the euro currency as legal tender in 2002. A new

currency would have the benefi t of enhancing our competitiveness through devaluation against other currencies. However there are no examples in history of countries abandoning strong currencies in order to adopt weaker ones. This policy would cause an immediate collapse of the Irish banking sys-tem as depositors rush to withdraw and convert savings for stronger currencies before their deposits are changed for An Punt Nua. The Irish banking system is currently under-capitalised and as such, for the past two years, has been unable to distribute credit adequately to the economy. However, the ATMs still operate in Belfi eld due the assistance of the ECB. Attempt-ing to launch An Punt Nua is a logistical nightmare and perhaps the easiest way to precipitate an unprecedented fi nancial crisis.Members of the new 31st Dil advocating that the government should march into Frankfurt and get tough with Europe, could do well by explaining in great detail the alternative options that are open to the Irish Government. Remember, this is not a fi rst year arts assignment. Maybe members of the People Against Prosperity Movement dont understand the challenges facing Ireland. Maybe they dont want to.For the all the public opposi-tion within Ireland of bailing out bondholders, it is important to recognise the equal public opposition in the European mainland in bailing out states on

the periphery of Europe (Ireland, Greece and now Portugal). Many mainland European governments face looming elections and their electorate appear all too ready to deliver judgement on current governments seen to be going too easy on states suff ering from weak competitiveness, fi scal indiscipline and weak fi nancial regulation. It is entirely unfair that Irish taxpayers should be expected to face the entire burden for reckless decisions made by European institutions in lending to Irish banks, however this is the position we are in. Polit-ical rhetoric and emotion will have no bearing on the outcome as the government prepares for numerous future rounds of negotiations.Since late last year, international chat shows have hosted com-mentators, stating it is a question of when, not if Ireland will default entirely on all its debts; sovereign and banking. This also has been put forward as a potential silver bullet solution to our large debts that we are continuing to build up. It is projected that if the EU-IMF

deal succeeds by 2014, we will have a Debt to GDP ratio of well over 100%. Countries that success-fully default or restructure its debts, typically receive long term benefi ts (a lower debt mountain), but incur short term costs such as an inability to borrow at reason-able rates on international markets for a period of two to three years.Countries usually have their own independent currency to devalue the support of their economy and, subsequently, apply for funding from the IMF. Ireland would be unique though in not having an independent currency and having already applied for funding from the EU & IMF. Restructuring sov-ereign debt may become an option in the future, time will tell, but to default on the offi cial lenders of last resort (EU & IMF) would be the ultimate policy leap into the unknown.A more likely scenario would be for Ireland to exit from the EUIMF program with a large stock of external debt at similar levels to Italy or Belgium. The principal of

Nice Country, Bad Balance Sheet_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Few easy options exist regarding debt sustainability for our new Fine Gael/Labour Government, writes David McManus_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

revenue has meant Ireland is now borrowing 10% of GDP each year to bridge the gap between low tax revenues and high levels of spend-ing. The bubble revenues are gone and as a consequence, Ireland will have to reverse many of the tax cuts and spending increases as they were unsustainable. The previous government started this adjustment in 2008, however even with the large increases in taxes and cuts in expenditure, Irelands level of borrowing hasnt fallen.The benefi t of making this adjust-ment quickly is the saving on interest costs. To highlight the problem of extending the inevita-ble fi scal adjustment, Ireland faced an interest bill of 2 Billion on its national debt in 2008, before the budget ran into large defi cit. By 2014, that interest bill will be 8.4 billion. Our national debt stood at 25% of GDP in 2007, and it will be in excess of 100% of GDP by 2014. Increasing taxes and reducing expenditure will certainly defl ate the Irish economy, however as our increasing interest bill shows, there

are no non-defl ationary options available in budgetary policy.The new government will have to focus on reducing costs by ensuring adequate competition in all areas of the economy. Due to the cost increases during the bubble period, costs will have to be reduced in areas such as energy, local authority charges and profes-sional fees. Labour and property costs have already fallen however it will take an additional two/three years for our economy to recover competitiveness adequately for an export-led recovery.In conclusion, governments can only choose from options that are realistically available. A unilateral option that further threatens the stability of our fi nancial system and put our public fi nances at risk is thankfully not an option that the Fine Gael/Labour Government have considered. Alternative op-tions that are at our discretion and will benefi t our economy include improving our competitiveness and restoring our public fi nances to a sustainable position.

www.collegetribune.ie | 9

10 | www.collegetribune.ie

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www.collegetribune.ie | 11

Editorial Positions Available for 2011/2012 Academic YearThe College Tribune is now advertising the position of Editor(s) for Volume 25 of UCDs only Independent newspaper.

Job Description:

This is a full time and extremely demanding job which requires the publication of at least ten issues of The College Tribune during the academic year. This involves highly unsociable hours under a pressurised environment. The candidate should have experience in journalism, as well as being a highly motivated individual. External applications outside the current College Tribune staff are encouraged.

Responsibilities

The College Tribune is a completely independent newspaper and receives no source of regular income. Therefore in addition to and edition of the newspaper every fortnight, the Editor(s) are responsible for sourcing efficient advertising to fund the print run of the publication. The Editor(s) are responsible for the appointment and management of an editorial staff in addition to the recruitment of the new contributors during Freshers Week and throughout the year.

Wages

The Editor(s) will be paid depending on the surplus amount of income raised from advertising for each issue once printing and other costs have been met.

Experience

As Editor of The College Tribune, you will gain important experience in the world of journalism and the year is an excellent stepping stone for anyone hoping for a professional career in journalism and the media. Previous editors have gone on to have successful careers in carious national media outlets. In addition to this, the experience of running a self sustaining business is important to anyone going forward in a professional career in many different sectors.

Applications

All interested applicants should submit a detailed proposal to the editor; including their experience and suitability for the job, how they would improve each section of the newspaper and any new ideas or suggestions they have for The College Tribune.

Applications should be handed into our office LG18, lower ground of the arts block or sent to:

Colman Hanley,The College Tribune,Box 74,Students Centre,UCD,Belfield,Dublin 4.

Applications should be sent in no later than 5:30:59pm on Friday 22nd of April 2011.

The College Tribune is also advertising the following positions for next years editorial staff:

Designer

News Editor

Web Editor

Music Editor

Fashion Editor

Arts Editor

Eagathir Gaeilge (Irish Language Editor)

Turbine/Satire Editor

Sports EditorAll applicants for editorial positions should contact the current editor,

Mr. Colman Hanley, by emailing editor@collegetribune.ie

12 | www.collegetribune.ie

EditorialEditorialClarificationThe College Tribune would like to clarify an error that was printed in

Volume 24, Issue 11 of The College Tribune, dated April 6th 2011.

In the article titled Apathy, Affluence and Administration, a

reference made to The University Observer was incorrect when stating

that the paid staff of the publication receive a wage of 500 per

week.

Editor:Colman Hanleycollegetribune@gmail.com

Designer:Emmet Farrellemmet.tribune@gmail.com

News Editor:Donie O'Sullivannews.collegetribune@gmail.com

Deputy News Editor:Amy Walsh

Sports Editor:Mark Hobbssport.collegetribune@gmail.com

Co-Music Editors:Joseph Conroy Ciarn Leinster & Aonghus McGarrytribmusic@gmail.com

Fashion Editor:Aoifa Smythtribune.health.fashion@gmail.com

Photography Editor:Dire Brennan

Turbine Editor:Ryan Cullen

Eagarthir Gaeilge:Eoghan O Murchadha

Copy Editor:Niamh Hanley

Cartoonist:Dan Daly

The College Tribune would like to clarify that the paid staff of The

University Observer receive 450 per issue, with the editor receiving

500 per issue.

The College Tribune apologises for this error.

EditorialThe Final Issue of Volume 24, The College Tribune Thank You

With my tenure coming to a close, it is a time to reflect on a year which has flown by. The

College Tribune has covered all sorts of stories for you, the students of UCD. The clamping of an

ambulance car, the November Student Protest, the fiasco of the UCD Ball a wide range of

issues have all been reported on. A lot of time and effort has been given to cover these stories

and publish this paper. A lot of sleep has been lost and sacrifices have been made in order to try

and provide a free service to the students of UCD. The aim has always been to inform people of

all the news relating to this university, with no hidden agenda or any body or authority having

control over what we print. However in order to do this, it takes the effort of a lot of people.

Firstly, Id like to thank our fantastic designer, Emmet Farrell. Recruited on the back of a sug-

gestion by a friend last summer, Emmet has been a huge asset to The College Tribune this year and

is responsible for the look of the Tribune. Emmet deserves huge praise for the job he has done

this year, and I believe he has a huge future in design in years to come. Thanks for putting up

with my annoying emails and questions, and with myself and Donie harassing you over the year

on altering things!

The aforementioned News Editor has also been responsible for the success of our paper this year.

Donie is by far and away the most enthusiastic person I have ever met a quality which aids

any journalist! Signed in the pre-season of 2010 from our neighbours The University Observer,

Donie has been there every step of the way helping me through every production weekend.

Thanks a million for all the help Donie, youve become a really good friend and I know you too

have a huge future in journalism if you keep at it.

Following on from our fantastic Sports Editor last year, Mark Hobbs has done a great job at

reporting the best of UCD, national and global sport. Every weekend, Mark was out reporting

on games or pushing people to cover them. Thanks for all the work Mark, and best of luck with

next year!

Do mo chara, Eoghan Murch, go raibh mle maith agat as ucht cabhair le gach rud i mbliana.

Bh s ar intinn agam rud igin a dhanamh sa nuachtn tr Ghaeilge, agus leis an iarracht a chur

t isteach, bh m balta do leathanach seo a chur i gcl. Tim for buoch!

The wacky ravings of the Turbine can only be explained as being the work of Ryan Cullen.

Helping me with things since April last year, Mr. Cullen has been a huge help to me with just

being around an available to help when called upon. Thanks for everything Ryan!

The Siren would not be possible without the help of a few people, but particularly Ms. Aoifa

Smyth. Easily the stylish person Ive ever met, Aoifa deserves the award for being the most

organised person in this disorganised publication. I genuinely have learned a lot from reading

over Aoifas section this year, and it is a shame now that we have to go our separate ways when

I believe I was genuinely getting the hang of this fashion thing that she is so passionate about!

Best of luck with your work experience and opportunities in the industry coming up.

The job of Music Editor has been shared between a few people over the year! David Tracey

deserves huge credit for putting his stamp on the position for the first few issues, and Conor

McKenna deserves the plaudits as well for stepping in and helping out when called upon. Since

Conors appendix burst (!), Joseph Conroy, Aonghus McGarry and Ciarn Leinster have stepped

in to take the reins. Without the lads all listed, the music section would struggle to exist thanks

to everyone for their input over the year!

Niamh Hanley deserves great credit for sticking with the Tribune and doing the painful job of

reading everything that is put to print. Her commitment over the year has been second to none.

Thanks a million big sis!

I can only give the utmost praise and thanks to one Eoghan Braonin for creating the facility

for the UCD community to access The College Tribune online. A goal of mine from the start of

the year, Eoghan made it a reality after putting in a huge effort. You created a great resource not

only for me, but for the students of UCD as well. Go raibh mle maith agat mo chara!

Of course none of the section editors listed would be able to do their work without their

contributors, and so Id like to thank everyone who has contributed to the paper this year. Some

may have featured more prominently than others, but the efforts of every single writer is as

important as any other. Without you all, there would be no paper. Thanks for helping make my

job easier, and encourage you (and anyone reading this) get more involved with the Tribune and

stay with us next year.

On a personal note, there are a few people I would particularly like to thank who have helped

me over the year. Former Tribune staff, James Grannell and Jim Scully have always been friendly

faces to the paper over the year and good friends to me thanks for all your support over the

year. Thanks must be also given to Daniel McDonnell and Peter Lahiff, and to Simon Ward

and Jennifer Bray, who, as my former editors, taught me so much and always were available this

year for advice or even a tea/coffee to distract my attention when it was needed. Special thanks

however goes to Philip Connolly, who has been not only a great help over the year, but a great

friend. Thanks a million buddy, I actually hope United go on to win the league just for you!!!

To my friends on campus, all of whom have been so supportive, thanks a million. Many people

have been great in saying kind things to myself and my staff, and I genuinely appreciate the

kindness shown over the year. Caithfidh m buochas a ghabhil le hEdel N Bhraonin go

hirithe, i gcna ag cabhr liom agus ag sid mo ghuthn!

To the people I love most: my family. Sometimes I would go days without seeing them due to

the paper, but still, they would always be there for me, willing to help in any way. Thanks a mil-

lion, and I hope to return the favour somehow! Within this group I include Lorraine Foy, the

woman who knows better than anyone the strain and pressure of the job. Thanks for putting up

with me during the tough times. I couldnt have done my job without you in my life, and I love

you very much. X

Finally, to you, the readers of The College Tribune. Thank you for sticking with us this year. If you

are reading this piece, you are likely to be one of our dedicated followers! This year the Tribune

has undergone another face lift, and one, I hope, which has made the paper stronger. I believe

we are more accessible and relate to the students a lot better than we previously have, through

both our paper and our website, www.collegetribune.ie which has received over one million hits

since being launched in February.

The College Tribune is undergoing its most exciting phase since its foundation in 1988 by one

Vincent Browne. I genuinely believe that we have the ability to be a crucial facet in the lives of

UCD students. However in order to achieve this, we need your continued support. Whether

it is simply picking up the paper, or expressing your interest in writing for the paper, this all

contributes to help the Tribune become stronger.

Whoever my successor(s) will be, I wish them the best of luck. The job that I leave behind me

is in better condition than I received it in, and I can assure the readers of The College Tribune, the

students and the staff of UCD, that The College Tribune is here to stay and to continue for many

years to come.

www.collegetribune.ie | 13

Tomorrow Never Dies

Last night Rupert Murdoch sen-sationally bought The University Observer in the hope of turning it into Irelands leading media cen-tre. His company News Corpora-tion bought all shares and assets owned by the paper, changing the initial 50,000 funding to just over 730 million. In a brief statement, Murdoch claimed, I dont want to report the news, I wanna make the news. His company plan to create the news and report on it seconds after occurring, making it Irelands fastest and most reliable source

Controversy Rises from UCD Ball

Its Satire Stupid!

Lyn-ham unable to deliver on election promise of campus wide halal food

Rare breed of mushrooms spotted growing from UCD restaurant food

Cosgrove runs naked through campus covered in lubricant, to the sound of pounding techno

Im free from all forms of racism, I hate chatting to foreigners From Lynams Seanad election leafl et

Cellulite from Harneys thighs to pebble-dash 40% of docklands.

Inside

Negligence is the word being chanted by thousands of students as they take to the campus of Irelands largest University, in protest that Macy Gray is the only headline act announced for this years much talked about UCD Ball. The died out singer, once famous for her husky voice, spoke of her delight saying The students were missing a ball and I decided to give them one, since I have at least three more in here.

In a press conference, Jonny Cosgrove spoke off their troubles in securing acts for what was once Europes largest private party, stat-ing that initially I tried my best to secure Joe Dolan to headline the UCD Ball, but to my dismay I found out that he had died, this

of media. With many claiming that Rupert is slowly turning into Elliot Carter from the James Bond fi lm Tomorrow Never Dies, queries remain over the legal obli-gations and complications that he must overturn in his conquest to be the ultimate media guru.

If you type Rupert Murdoch into google, the suggestions are evil and jew (go ahead and try it), making the students of UCD and the Irish public wary of the inten-tions of the Aussie born freak. After becoming the new CEO of The University Observer, he quickly purchased the new student centre turning it the largest media complex on the island, intend-ing to supply over 900,000 jobs. He aims to supply every student

within the ranks of UCD a job by the end of their degree a job regardless of speciality, turning UCD into a holding pen for, what he calls, Murdoch-ians. Hugh Brady welcomed the change saying I have achieved guaranteed work for every student and I welcome Murdoch into our fi ne institution. Now, if youll excuse me, I am currently late for my private jet which is setting off to Barbados shortly. The 80 year old is due to unveil his new building at the start of June, with the promise of a tour around the complex. After being spotted fl oating around the UCD library on his Segway, he was asked So what do you wanna do tonight, Rupert?, he replied Same thing we do every night, try to take over the world.

process took up two weeks of our time. OH me Oh my. Acts such as Radiohead, Bright Eyes, The Athens eff ect and Bon Iver turned down lucrative off ers to showcase their talents due to the grounds that they actually contain artistic integrity.

Apart from Macy Gray taking to the stage, Barry Manilow and Gary Glitter are set to perform in front of thousands of young-sters with The UCD Gospel choir to perform the sounds of Deadmau5. Many students feel genuinely disappointed by the Students Union, feeling that they took the cheap and easy way out. One student even felt the need to set fi re to himself inside the Astra Hall, Tibetan monk style, but with more screaming. Although the SU still have not fi nalised the line-up, rumours are spreading about who is to make up the numbers with acts such as the Cartoons, Ace of Base and Belfast based punk band Wankers Cramp.

14 | www.collegetribune.ie

The College TribuneApril 20th 2011www.collegetribune.ie SportSport

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Greg Acton ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Leinster Roaring Under Reign of Schmidt________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

With Leinster facing a Heineken Cup semi-final against Toulouse, and looking set to compete in the Magners League end of season play-offs, coach Joe Schmidt talks to Colman Hanley about his exciting first season to date________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Its a Friday afternoon and with only around 24 hours to go till Leinsters crunch Magners League clash with Ulster. Should Leinster suff er a defeat to their provincial rivals, their hopes of claiming the Magners crown, and a possible domestic double (not achieved since London Wasps in 2004), will be fast fading away. However despite the pressure of preparations for the big match, The College Tribune phone rings its Joe Schmidt on the line.Luckily, the brief conversation appeared to have little or any negative eff ect as Leinster subsequently go on to notch a bonus point win on a scoreline of 34-26, which almost secures them a home Magners League semi-fi nal. A showdown with Munster looks likely to be on the cards for Leinsters New Zealand born coach.Recent high profi le victories has earned Schmidt much praise, however this is a huge change to the criticism received earlier in the season, with many so-called experts quick to criticise Schmidt after one win from the opening four games of the season. But a 13-10 win over bitter rivals Munster in the Aviva Stadium, followed up by a fi ne start to the Heineken Cup, silenced the doubters and kick started Leinsters season.Schmidt admits to having found the adjustment in coaching to have been diffi cult quite a diff erence to his previous tenure at French side Clermont Au-vergne, where he worked as the backs coach. How-ever the move was not his fi rst foray into Irish life having having moved here with his family to work with Mullingar Rugby Club previously, a contrasting job to his current one.It was a lot diff erent to be honest with you. It was a small town lifestyle there which was fantastic, and I come from a small town in New Zealand. The Mull-ingar people really adopted us and we had a fantastic time; it gave us an opportunity to see most of Ireland and travel all around the country. We then moved to Europe, had a look around and it was a fantastic time

This is it folks. This seasons very last Superleague report. Ill try not to get emotional.Congratulations to H-Bam, Just Jeff and Bean FC who were all crowned champions of their respec-tive leagues. Just Jeff sealed the Premier Sunday title with a comprehensive win over We Like Young Boys, H-Bam conquered the Premier Saturday with a whopping 16 goals in their last two games, and Bean FC romped home in Division 1 Saturday with a 6-1 drubbing of Virgin Orient.Forget Arsenal in 03/04, this years Superleague produced a team truly deserving of the name The Invincibles. Division 1 Saturday champs, Bean FC went the entire season without losing a game. And unlike Arsenal, they were forced to deal with major setbacks, like hangovers and a severe lack of fi tness. If Bean now go on to do the double and win the Bank of Ireland Cup, might they go down as the best Superleague team of all time?The league championships may all be decided but its still all to play for in the two Superleague cups. LM Mountaineers will contest the League Cup fi nal with The Absolute Gents or Special Olympiakos. Mean-while, the Bank of Ireland Cup is into the semi-fi nal stage with Sauce Pan Celtic, ABCDE FC, Bean FC and the brilliantly named AC Alittlesiluettoofmilan, making up the fi nal four.The following are my totally unoffi cial Superleague awards 2011. There are no prizes. First off , Keeper of the Year goes to Conor Kenny of Virgin Orient. Despite the amount of unwarranted abuse he has received in this column every week, Defender of the Year has to go to Beans rampaging left-back Paul Geraghty. Neil Cowzer of Sauce Pan Celtic, whos goals and assists have often been wrongly credited to the fi rst person that popped into my head, is my pick for Midfi elder of the Year. Forward of the Year is without doubt, Beans Conor Foley. Team Name of the Year was a close call but Im giving it to Exither Quickly, although Murder on Zidanes Floor defi -nitely deserve a mention! Finally, Jersey of the Year has to go to the campest team in football, the Back Door Bouncers for their outrageous luminous pink at-tire. FAB-U-LOUS!And so ends another season of the UCD Superleague. With real football fi nished, well all be forced to turn our attention to the Champions League. YAWN! As a wise person once said though, dont cry because its over, smile because its happened. Can anyone hon-estly say, they have found a better hangover cure than running around the GAA astro fi xated by 21 other glow-in-the-dark-jerseys. Broken bones, vuvuzelas, and crossbar challenges. Its been quite a journey people!Long live the Superleague!

uperleague

for us. We were pretty young at the time, and Im an old man now. Its a lot diff erent to come back with four kids in toe, and the responsibilites of a position which is somewhat more visible than in Mullingar.Leinsters quarter-fi nal victory over Leicester showed similar glimpses of class that was seen in their run to winning the Heineken Cup in 2009. However while that may be the case, Schmidt cited poor fi nishing from his side as an area which they must improve, citing three try opportunities missed in the game, commenting for us not to fi nish them, was pretty disappointing.The Leinster defence however, an aspect of the sides game which has been consistently solid, was praised by Schmidt. The one big strong point for us was that we were really happy with our defensive work, they had a number of times where they got to twelve and fourteen phases of play, but didnt really get mas-sive gains in yardage gain. We worked really hard off the ball.So how about Leinsters semi-fi nal opponents, Tou-louse? Had Schmidt any master plans he wished to reveal? Not really.We havent really looked at that game yet well start to have a look at the game and decipher where we think we can attack them. I know with Toulouse, they are a very strong counter attacking side, they work very strong up front, were going to have to be competitive at scrum time, while their line-out is very good with Bouilhou and Albacete.The list of Toulouse players which Schmidt went on to make reference to, particularly their prominent French international players, would rightly scare most sides across Europe; Poitrenaud, Dusautoir, Fritz, Jauzion, and Servat are all world class play-ers. However during his time at Clermont, Schmidt encountered these players regularly. Looking at his record in the South of France, four top 14 fi nals in the last four years he was there (claiming victory in his fi nal season), there is little doubt that Schmidt has

the expertise and astuteness to know how to plan the demise of Guy Noves side.However the downfall of many Irish sides, both at provincial and international level, has been the traditional weakness in the scrum and set-piece area. Before linking up with Leinster last summer, Schmidt openly talked about the diff erence between Leinster and Toulouse in last years Heineken Cup semi-fi nal, a game which the province lost 26-16 in Le Stadium. Commenting at the time, Schmidt spoke of Leinster being unable to access the game and having been shut out by the French sideset piece.Fast forward a year, and Schmidt went on to explain the importance of the scrumage area in the French game and the dignity they have for it, before high-lighting the improvement that Leinster have made in the scrum this season. Culturally, I think with the French, you can lose the game, but if you win the scrum, the prop walks off the pitch with a smile on his face. They take a massive amount of pride in the scrum and see it as giving a heck of a lot of confi dence to people on the fi eld.For us to compete with that, I think Greg Feek has been pivotal and hes brought some scrum nous to what were doing. In the games weve played this year, Leicester had a very strong scrum. They have an English International tighthead, Italian international tighthead, they have a quality of player at an interna-tional level across the board in their pack, and I think we stood up pretty well to them.With approximately 90% of the Aviva stadium set to be in blue for the April 30th clash, due to Toulouse taking up only 4,000 of their ticket allocation, the Leinster scrum is sure to get a bit more strength and energy from the noise that the strong home support will make. As for one Josef Schmidt, he could be on the cusp of making history from the sidelines in just his fi rst season as coach.

www.collegetribune.ie | 15

Sports

UCDs Perfect Season Denied by Determined Trinity_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Patrick Fleming_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Dublin University 31UCD 22

With an unbeaten season, the

Division Two title, and the pride

of defeating old rivals all on the

line for UCD in Saturdays annual

Colours Match, it was the team

from Trinity tha