the contents - hacettepeyunus.hacettepe.edu.tr/~uras02/hacettepe/4.sinif/negotiation/acti… ·...

THE CONTENTS

THE CONTENTSiLISTENING1

WHAT IS LISTENING1LISTENING VERSUS HEARING1WHAT AFFECTS LISTENING2ADVANCED EMPATHY3EMPATHY AND LISTENING SKILLS3EMPATHIZING4

ACTIVE OR EMPATHIC LISTENING5ACTIVE LISTENING7WHAT IS ACTIVE LISTENING7WHY LISTEN ACTIVELY9IMPORTANCE OF ACTIVE LISTENING9KEY CONCEPTS OF ACTIVE LISTENING10BENEFITS OF ACTIVE LISTENING11ACTIVE LISTENING (4 STEPS)12

STEP 1LISTEN12STEP 2QUESTION15STEP 3 REFLECT-PARAPHRASE18STEP 4 AGREE21

BARRIERS TO ACTIVE LISTENING22CHARACTERISTICS OF A GOOD ACTIVE LISTENER24

ACTIVE LISTENING AND NEGOTIATION28CONCLUSION29REFERENCES31

i

LISTENING

WHAT IS LISTENING

If you ask a group of people to give a one word description of listening some would say hearing however hearing is physical Listening is following and understanding the sound---it is hearing with a purpose In the other word listening is the process of receiving constructing meaning from and responding to spoken andor nonverbal messages to hear something with thoughtful attentionListening is the absorption of the meanings of words and sentences by the brain Listening leads to the understanding of facts and ideas But listening takes attention or sticking to the task at hand in spite of distractions It requires concentration which is the focusing of your thoughts upon one particular problem

LISTENING VERSUS HEARING To better understanding how and why the listening process can be at times so ineffective

you should know that listening and hearing are not the same Instead hearing is actually just one stage of listening which occurs when your ears pick up sound waves and transmit these waves to your brain On the ather hand listening is a whole communication process By understanding of process and utilizing the right tools you can improve your listening skills ensuring you do more than just hear the words

bull Hearing - physical process natural passive

bull Listening - physical amp mental process active learned process a skill

As we said listening is not the same as hearing Listening is a conscious activity based on three basic skills attitude attention and adjustment

Maintain a constructive Attitude

A positive attitude paves the way for open-mindedness Dont assume from the outset that a meeting is going to be dull And even if the speaker makes statements you dont agree with dont decide he or she is automatically wrong Dont let reactive interference prevent you from recalling the speakers key points

Strive to pay Attention

You cannot attain concentration by concentrating on the act of concentration Your attention must focus on the meeting When you hear a statement the words enter your short-term memory where they have to be swiftly processed into ideas If they arent processed then they will be dumped from short-term memory and will be gone forever Attentive listening makes sure the ideas are processed

Cultivate a capacity for Adjustment

Although some speakers clearly indicate what they intend to cover in their subject you need to be flexible enough to follow a speaking regardless of the direction it may take If

1

however you are thoroughly lost or if the speakers message is not coming across and you need to ask a clarifying question do so

WHAT AFFECTS LISTENING

What do you think of the subject matterIs it new or have you a lot of experience with itWill it be difficult to understand or simpleIs it important to you or just fun

Is the speaker experienced or nervousWhat are the non-verbal cues of the speakerWhat frame of mind is he or sheHow personable threatening intelligent etc

Is the space conducive to listeningor to interaction or exchange with the speakerAre there avoidable distractions

Is the message illustrated withwith visuals or examplesIs technology used effectivelyAre concepts introduced incrementally or with examples

ADVANCED EMPATHY

What is it reflection of content and feeling at a deeper level

Purpose To try and get an understanding of what may be deeper feelings

eg I get the sense that you are really angry about what was said but I am wondering if you also feel a little hurt by it

You said that you feel more confident about contacting employers but I wonder if you also still feel a bit scared

Since empathy involves understanding the emotions of other people the way it is characterised is derivative of the way emotions themselves are characterised If for example emotions are taken to be centrally characterised by bodily feelings then grasping the bodily feelings of another will be central to empathy On the other hand if emotions are more centrally characterised by combinations of beliefs and desires then grasping these beliefs and desires will be more essential to empathy

EMPATHY AND LISTENING SKILLS

The use of empathy and listening skills sometimes leads to good relationships and emotional intimacy The combination of empathy and listening skills is also known as empathic listening

2

Heres an example of how empathic listening differs from another type of listening Im listening to a computer instructor explain how to use a new word processing program She is delivering her explanation with enthusiasm

One type of listening focuses on understanding the program in order to learn how to use it While listening I might be having thoughts such as

This new version doesnt differ much from the previous one I dont understand the new way of formatting a page I have many questions to ask during the question period

Another type of listening empathic listening focuses on understanding the instructors enthusiasm in order to learn something about her While listening I might be having thoughts such as

She certainly enjoys teaching this word processing program I think she would enjoy teaching any subject She seems very impressed with the usefulness of this new version

To summarize the difference between the purpose of the two types of listening understanding the information the instructor is presenting as compared with understanding the meaning to her of presenting the information The meaning to her would consist of items such as

her feelings about teaching the importance to her of teaching this particular program her evaluation of the program

One type of listening focuses on the program and the other focuses on her Another term for focuses on her is listens to empathize

EMPATHIZINGEmpathizing means that you have the ability to put yourself in your partner To

empathize you must ignore your own adult perception of the situation for the moment and accept your partnerrsquos feelings thoughts and ideas of the situation as yours See it through your partners eyes--during your discussion

Empathizing does not mean you need to agree with your partner

Empathizing does not mean you need to give in to your partner or allow her or him to set her or his own rules to avoid confrontation

Empathizing means you do not dismiss what your partner says as ridiculous or silly Your acceptance of your partners thoughts ideas and feelings increase the chance that your partner will talk to you about the problems and issues that he or she is facing

It is easy to know when you are being empathic because

1 Your body language and tone match

3

2 Your tone and your feelings match

3 You are focused on what your partner is saying and meaning You are trying to see things from your partners point of view which requires that

You do not impose your feelings thoughts and ideas throughout the conversation

You refrain from immediately giving advice You are tired after listening because it takes a great deal of energy You ask yourself if you would make that same statement to an adult If

not then think twice about making it

ACTIVE OR EMPATHIC LISTENING

Active or empathic listening stresses putting ones self in anothers place The goal is to effectively understand and accurately interpret anothers meanings The authors identify three problems with this sort of approach

First we cannot actually get inside anothers mind or occupy their perspective Nor can we actually set aside our own perspective Second paraphrasing under this approach can become a mere parroting back of the others words which tends to frustrate the other person Third these approaches focus each participants attention on the others internal psychological state rather than focusing on the joint process and interaction of communication

Listening is an active process that has three basic steps

1 Hearing Hearing just means listening enough to catch what the speaker is saying For example say you were listening to a report on zebras and the speaker mentioned that no two are alike If you can repeat the fact then you have heard what has been said

2 Understanding The next part of listening happens when you take what you have heard and understand it in your own way Lets go back to that report on zebras When you hear that no two are alike think about what that might mean You might think Maybe this means that the pattern of stripes is different for each zebra

3 Judging After you are sure you understand what the speaker has said think about whether it makes sense Do you believe what you have heard You might think How could the stripes to be different for every zebra But then again the fingerprints are different for every person I think this seems believable

Listening is needed everywhere

Listening skills form the basis of Continued learning Teamwork skills Management skills

Negotiation skills Emotional intelligence

But not practiced effectively 70 of all communication is

4

Misunderstood Misinterpreted Rejected Distorted Not heard

Most communication experts agree that poor listening skills are the biggest contributors to poor communication There are four basic types of listening Which one do you think most people practice

1 Inactive listening The definition of this is the old adage ldquoIn one ear and out the otherrdquo You hear the words but your mind is wandering and no communication is taking place

2 Selective listening You hear only what you want to hear You hear some of the message and immediately begin to formulate your reply or second guess the speaker without waiting for the speaker to finish

3 Active listening You listen closely to content and intent What emotional meaning might the speaker be giving you You try to block out barriers to listening Most importantly you are non-judgmental and empathetic

4 Reflective Listening This is active listening when you also work to clarify what the speaker is saying and make sure there is mutual understanding

ACTIVE LISTENINGHearing is a physical act of the ear It is involuntary and done unconsciously

Listening is a conscious activity that takes active participation from the listener to achieve Active listening is a learned communication technique as most communication skills are To become an active listener takes patience and practice

Good listening skills are important both in the workplace and in day-to-day living In todays workplace good listening skills are considered to be one of the most important managerial skills - an interesting concept when you consider that listening skills arent usually taught in the educational system

Did You Know Most of us have not been taught to listen but we spend about half of our time

listening About 50 of misunderstandings occur because people do not listen effectively Some of us believe that being heard is more important than listening to another

person People believe that just because a person has hearing ability then he or she can also

listen actively Many of us have never heard that active listening is important Eighty percent of interpersonal communication is non-verbal

WHAT IS ACTIVE LISTENING Active listening is a way of listening and responding to another person that improves

mutual understanding Often when people talk to each other they donrsquot listen attentively They are often distracted half listening half thinking about something else Individuals in conflict often contradict one another This has the effect of denying the validity of the other personrsquos position This can make one defensive and they may either lash out or withdraw On the other hand if one finds that the other partly understands an atmosphere of cooperation can be created This increases the possibility of collaborating and resolving the conflict

5

Active listening is a structured form of listening and responding that focuses the attention on the speaker The listener must take care to attend to the speaker fully and then repeats in the listenerrsquos own words what he or she thinks the speaker has said The listener does not have to agree with the speaker--he or she must simply state what they think the speaker said This enables the speaker to find out whether the listener really understood If the listener did not the speaker can explain some more

This type of listening is called active because it requires certain behaviors of the listener These behaviors include listening carefully not interrupting using words and body language (like eye contact and sitting forward) to convey a genuine attempt to understand what the other person is saying

And in other description the active listening is giving undivided attention to a speaker in a genuine effort to understand the speakers point of view

Active listening is catalytic in the sense that it provides the conditions for the speaker to reveal important information and achieve the goals of the dialogue Active listening sends a message of willingness to listen

Active listening is used in a wide variety of situations including interviews in employment counseling and journalistic settings In groups it may aid in reaching consensus It may also be used in casual conversation to build understanding

The benefits of active listening include getting people to open up avoiding misunderstandings resolving conflict and building trust

In active listening You listen with an ldquoopen mindrdquo You take responsibility for your own learning and tell your brain to rdquopay

attentionrdquo You relate to and find examples for what is said to your own life experiences You compare and contrast ideas that are stated to things you already know You silently work at challenging questioning wondering about and

understanding what is being said You ask a question when you donrsquot understand or when you want to know

moreActive listeningbull Itrsquos a communication skill that involves both the speaker and the receiverbull In active listening the receiver tries to understand what feelings thoughts amp

beliefs are being communicated and accepts it as the personrsquos ownbull The listener feeds back only what they believe the senderrsquos message meant -

nothing more nothing less It involves feedback (verbal and nın-verbal) and verification that the receiver correctly understood the senders message

bull The active listener avoids getting stuck in another personrsquos ldquohelplessrdquo feelingsActive Listening means that you seeking to understand You make sure that you are

getting the correct message without passing judgmentActive listeners can be detected from their body language ndash eg leaning toward the

speaker nodding and making eye contact Active listeners may increase their pulse rate and even perspire They may tire easily

WHY LISTEN ACTIVELY Our brain works four times the speed that someone can speak You have to

actively focus on listening so that your mind doesnrsquot wander It enriches you and those around you and guides other areas of your life It can build trust and respect between people and prevent misunderstandings that

can lead to conflict frustration or hurt feelings

6

While listening to other peoplersquos point of view you may just learn something new and fascinating

IMPORTANCE OF ACTIVE LISTENING The process of communication requires not only effective speaking but active

listening with purpose and intent Only by combining active listening with effective speaking is it possible to gain understanding and promote open communication

Active listening involves more than hearing the words someone says It takes effort to understand the ideas and feelings that another person is trying to communicate Active listening means paying attention to a personrsquos words and body language (facial expressions eye contact posture voice tone and gestures) If the listener lacks interest has a closed mind becomes distracted or interprets the message incorrectly the communication is ineffective The listener and the sender are equally responsible for effective communication

Think of a time when you felt that someone was not really listening to you What let you know that the other person was not listening and how did that make you feel

Reflecting on your own experiences may help you understand the importance of active listening Trying to communicate with someone who is not listening attentively can be frustrating and unproductive and can lead to misunderstanding conflict or impaired job performance

Active listening is important because it can help you understand other people This can make you more successful in the workplace and help you have better relationships with friends and family When other people feel you really listen to them they can be much easier to deal with because they feel you understand their position

Active listening is important becausegt it is the best way to get good-quality informationgt it makes you feel good ndash you have the full attention of another persongt it stimulates openness and creativity easy to formulate own ideas and opinionsgt you feel respected and valued personally and professionallyThe Main Goals to Active Listeningbull Maximize your understanding of the otherrsquos perspectivebull Minimize their defensiveness (and your own too)

KEY CONCEPTS OF ACTIVE LISTENINGListening can mean simply hearing what was said Active listening is a learned

behavior that requires skill and practiceThese suggestions can promote active listening1 Display involvement in what the person is saying Show interest verbally by

encouraging the speaker to say what is on her mind Show interest nonverbally by focusing on the person who is speaking Use body posture that shows that the person has your full attention (eg lean forward in the chair with hands in your lap donrsquot lean back in the chair with arms crossed over your chest)

2 Carefully observe the person speaking Observe his words and body language to learn more about how he feels about the situation he is describing

3 Resist distractions Stay focused on the conversation and avoid doing anything else (answering the phone starting another conversation) other than listening to what is being said 4 Try to stay focused on what is being said Notice the speakerrsquos behavior (eg nervousness or anger during the conversation) but work at not being distracted by it

5 Ask for clarification of anything that you do not fully understand Ask questions regarding meaning or intent Restate or paraphrase what the other person said

7

6 Avoid making judgments about what is said Expressing personal views or biases can cloud the communication

Active listeners speak 30 of the time and listen 70 of the time Sometimes we have to try hard not to interrupt ndash the only acceptable reason is to clarify or confirm what has been said

Why is active listening difficult A number of feelings and circumstances can get in the way of active listening and

make it difficult When people are preoccupied with current life stresses or difficult situations it

is hard for them to listen Anxiety can make it hard to listen For example children who are anxious at

school often have a difficult time learning Being angry at the person who is talking also makes it hard to listen especially

if the person is blaming you or talking about something he or she feels is your fault Having an idea in mind of what a person should do makes it hard to listen to

that persons point of view This is particularly true if the feelings he or she is expressing do not seem logical to you

When to Use Active ListeningInappropriatemiddot Routine interactionsmiddot Physical emergenciesAppropriatemiddot Organizational Crisesmiddot Conflict situationsmiddot Giving and receiving feedbackmiddot Brainstorming problem solvingmiddot Seeking peersrsquo cooperation

BENEFITS OF ACTIVE LISTENING

Active listening has several benefits First it forces people to listen attentively to others Second it avoids misunderstandings as people have to confirm that they do really understand what another person has said Third it tends to open people up to get them to say more When people are in conflict they often contradict each other denying the opponentrsquos description of a situation This tends to make people defensive and they will either lash out or withdraw and say nothing more However if they feel that their opponent is really attuned to their concerns and wants to listen they are likely to explain in detail what they feel and why If both parties to a conflict do this the chances of being able to develop a solution to their mutual problem becomes much greater And the other benefits are

Shows empathy Builds relationships

ACTIVE LISTENING (4 STEPS)Have you had the experience of really needing to talk with someone - needing them to

listen support understand - and coming away feeling confused angry sad disillusioned in short feeling worse than you did before talking with that person Consider the following

Nothing feels so good as being understood not evaluated or judged When I try to share some feeling aspect of myself and my communication is met with evaluation

8

reassurance distortion of my meaning I know what it is to be alone (Carl Rogers psychologist)

Listening is hard work Active listening is more than just skill its also a matter of attitude

Active listening has four steps1 Listen2 Question3 Reflect-Paraphrase4 Agree

STEP 1LISTEN bull To Feelings As Well As Words

ndash Words ndash Emotions -- Implicationsbull Focus on Speaker

ndash Donrsquot plan speak or get distractedbull What Is Speaker Talking About

ndash Topic Speaker Listener Othersbull Look At Speakerbull Use Verbal amp Non-Verbal Encouragers

As the speaker talks listen for the main ideas Look for feelings and pay attention to the speakerrsquos body language Do not interrupt the speaker Simply listen empathically with the goal of fully understanding what the speaker is saying Try to set aside your own feelings and opinions

Opening door to good conversation shows an interesthellip But it must be done sincerely without judgment

As we indicated above the listen step has the active listening techniques which are verbalampnon-verbal encourages and non-verbal behavior

1Encouragementbull The purpose is to convey interest and to keep the person talkingbull The simplest technique is encouraging someone to continuebull Concentrate attention upon the speakerbull To do this donrsquot agree or disagree Use noncommittal words in a positive tone

of voice Use neutral wordsbull Use varying voice intonationsCan you tell me moreldquoI seehelliprdquo ldquouh-huhhelliprdquo ldquoThatrsquos interestingrdquo ldquoWhat did you say thenrdquo ldquoWhat did he

say when you said thatrdquo ldquoRightrdquo ldquoOkayrdquo ldquoSurerdquo ldquoYeahrdquo ldquoYesrdquo ldquoWowrdquo ldquoReallyrdquo

bull You may simply repeat one or two words of the persons previous statementExample of Encouraging

Speaker I feel uneasy about eating this food Encouraging uneasy or hmmmbull Be aware of your body language 2Non-Verbal BehaviorUse nonverbal behaviors to raise the channel of interpersonal communication

Nonverbal communication is facial expressions like smiles gestures eye contact and even your posture This shows the person you are communicating with that you are indeed listening actively and will prompt further communications while keeping costly time-consuming misunderstandings at a minimum

Non-Verbal Active Listening Techniques(1) Maintaining appropriate eye contact with the interviewee

9

(2) Occasionally nodding affirmatively to display understanding and interest(3) Using expectant pauses to indicate to the interviewee that more is expectedNon-verbal communication (NVC) sometimes referred to as lsquobody languageNVC which can be either intentional or unintentional is more likely to be believed

than the spoken word Words alone are often not enough to communicate all that we want to say NVC is used as an aid to speech or to replace it altogether NVC provides information about the emotional state and attitudes of a speaker or

listener First impressions of people are often related to NVC NVC is often an indicator of whether a situation is formal or informal Successful speaking and listening depends on feedback and this is a major use of

NVCThe various forms of NVC that we all use touch ndash greetings farewells relationships sound ndash volume tone stress accent timing and speed of delivery of speech smell ndash controlled (eg perfumes) proximity ndash distance between people personal territory posture ndash the way someone stands or sits the position of arms legs back and

shoulders dress ndash clothes hair and appearance are controlled eye contact ndash indicates attention and regulates conversations gestures ndash to aid or replace the spoken word some are universal some are

peculiar to certain cultures facial expressions ndash express emotions and provide feedback during conversations hellip use of silenceNonverbal attending is physically signaling that you are listening The use of

nonverbal attendingbull Sets a comfortable tonebull Encourages the speaker to keep talkingbull Demonstrates your concern amp interestbull Signals to the speaker that you are interested in what they have to say and thatyou are following the conversationExamplesbull Maintaining eye contactbull Leaning slightly forwardbull Allowing pausesbull Raising eyebrowsbull Smilingbull NoddingCommunication through Eyes Nonverbal communication is always revealed through the eyes Normal eye contact means communication is open Looking down indicates rejection Avoiding eye contact suggests that the person is not comfortable with the

conversationrsquos topic or the other person Stares can indicate dislike A person may be sincere if the eyes move upward when discussing stories

about the past Eyes move upward to retrieve information

10

However if the eyes move side to side when recalling information the person is likely to be lying

Non-verbal attending assists you in staying focused on what is being said so that you donrsquot risk missing key points Itrsquos physically telling your mind - donrsquot wander ndash this is important ndash stay tuned

STEP 2QUESTIONbull 3 Purposes

ndash Demonstrates you are listeningndash Gather informationndash Clarification

bull Open-endedndash Tell me morendash How did you feelndash Then what happened

The Question step is the process of bringing vague material into sharper focuseg Irsquom confused let me try to sate what I think you were trying to say Yoursquove said so much let me see if Irsquove got it allYou can ask questions until you are both confident that you have understood Since

your goal is to understand what is being said you may need to get more historical information to accomplish that objective Doing this also lets the other know that you are truly interested in understanding himher Active listening questions are non-leading and non-judgmental

When you asked some questionsndash Show interest (Irsquod like to hear your opinion on thisrdquondash Encourage more explanation (What do you think the problem is) ndash Keep the person talking (Tell me morehellip)ndash Ask questions but not too manyThere are several types of questions that are useful in clarifying your understanding of

your partners experience They are YESNO QUESTIONS OPEN-ENDED QUESTIONS PROBING OR FOLLOW-UP QUESTIONS and LEADING QUESTIONS But the open-ended questions are best

1YESNO QUESTIONS (Closed questions)This type of question involves asking a question that requires only a YES or NO

response If you use this type of question you can expect to get a very short answer It will NOT encourage your partner to elaborate although sometimes heshe may do so anyway Once you have used this kind of question you may want to follow it up with an open-ended question

Closed Questionsbull Pros Useful when answers require little or no explanation saves time and

makes it easy to tabulate resultsbull Cons Limits information that can be obtained makes it easy to lie can make

people feel like they are on witness stand

11

2OPEN-ENDED QUESTIONSThis type of question DOES NOT seek a YES or NO response Instead it elicits

more information from the speaker Open-ended questions begin with words like ldquoTell me abouthellipWhyhellipHowhellipDescribehellipExplain This type of question might include

What happenedWhat else happenedWhat do you mean by __________How did you feel when that happenedWhat did you likedislike about what happenedldquoCan you tell me more abouthelliprdquoldquoWhat did you mean when you saidhelliprdquoYour choice of which questions to use will depend on the situationOpen-ended questions suggesting areas for exploration without anticipating specific

content of the speakerrsquos response The cycle-of-experience model provides areas for open-ended questions

Observation What happened Meaning What do you mean Affect How do you feel Motive What do you want Action What will you do bull Pros Useful when yoursquore not sure of what information you need or if you want

to know how someone feels about an issuebull Cons Can take a lot of time and require ore note taking more difficult to

control and interviewee may not be sure what you want Limit why-questions to inquiries about meaning Why do you believe that Why-

questions about other areas of experience may seem challenging for example Why wonrsquot you do that or they may not be readily answerable for example Why are you depressed (To which people may answer I donrsquot know) Another type of open-ended question which may not be productive is the ritual question Ritual question like How are you may signal that you are being polite and people are inclined to respond in a superficial way

3PROBINGFOLLOW-UP QUESTIONSbull Asking another question to clarify or obtain further information about a

intervieweersquos responsebull Pros Useful when the interviewee provides inadequate answers stimulates

discussion and can be used to resolve inconsistenciesbull Cons Can make interviewee become overly defensive

4LEADING QUESTIONSbull Phrased to indicate a preferred responsebull ldquoYou donrsquot still use that process do yourdquobull Indicates the auditor asking the question isnrsquot objectiveBenefits of questions

bull OPEN-ENDED QUESTIONSndash Provides additional informationndash Probes for deeper understandingndash Encourages the speaker to open upndash Allows the speaker to expand on the subject in a free-ranging comprehensive

wayndash Lets the speaker know that hisher thinking matters to you

12

ndash Loosens up quiet or reticent peoplendash bull Helps vent anger or negative emotions

bull CLOSED QUESTIONSndash Focus discussionOther Questioning Tipsbull Avoid asking multiple questions at oncebull Generally itrsquos best to start with open questions (go from general to more

specific)bull Best questions are short clear objectivebull Ask questions in logical orderbull Allow for quiet thinking timebull Take notes

STEP 3 REFLECT-PARAPHRASEIn that step listeners will use some other techniques for active listening process

1 Reflecting 2 Paraphrasing 3 Reframing

4 Acknowleding5 Summarizing

1REFLECTINGReflection or reflective response technique borrowed from certain types of counseling techniques is designed to elicit as full a sense as possible of the speakers thoughts and especially feelings It is a way of helping someone explore her own personal meanings This technique involves reflecting back to the speaker what you believe she has said in order to verify (or clarify) your understanding and to encourage the speaker to continue elaborating on her point of viewWHY YOU DO IT

to show you understand how the person feels to reflect what you are observing rather than what you are hearing to help the person evaluate their own feelings after hearing them expressed by

someone elseHOW YOU DO IT

listen to voice tone and watch for non-verbal cues that indicate feelings listen to what the person tells you about what they feel state back your sense or hunch of what they are feeling

An active listener is already using aspects of this technique but reflection requires taking even greater care in the following areaReflect the speakers thoughts and feelings Restate what you believe the speaker has said to check for the accuracy of your understanding (eg So you couldnt finish the assignment on time Then you think the time allotted was inadequate) Even more importantly reflect back the speakers feelings as you have heard or inferred them (eg You seem to feel anxious because you couldnt finish the assignment on time) This interpretation of feelings is of course more tricky in that it often requires you to read between the lines to infer feelings underlying what has been said (eg You seem angry about the reorganization rather than So the department was reorganized) Thus you may want to use wording or voice tone make your inferences into questions rather than statements (eg So you feel anxious because you couldnt finish the assignment on time Do you feel anxious because you couldnt finish the assignment on time)

13

2PARAPHRASING Check the accuracy of your understanding what the speaker is saying by paraphrasing

back to them what they just said using your own wordsWHY YOU DO IT

to show the other person you have been listening to what they are saying to check meaning and interpretation

HOW YOU DO IT restate basic ideas and facts in your own words

Introduce your paraphrase with such comments as So if I understand you right yoursquore saying hellip(repeat what they just said in your own words) hellip Do I have it right Let me see if I get what you mean Yoursquore suggesting thathellip Is that it OK your point is thathellip Correct Use your paraphrasing to separate factual content from feelings by saying something like

ndash The factual situation is hellip (repeat their facts) hellip and the way you feel about that ishellip (empathetically describe how you think they feel) Is that right Move toward problem solving

3REFRAMEWe can defineldquoreframingrdquo as ldquopreserving the content of a communicationrdquo but altering

its form so it can be heard and possibly result in a solutionWhy You Do It

to help the other person see their concerns in a new light to broaden the meaning of an issue to identify needs or interests to diffuse negative feelings to establish the focus for resolution

How You Do It recognize underlying needs re-word concerns from past rarr futureproblem rarr opportunityinterpersonal rarr systemrightswrongs rarr impactspositions rarr interestssingular rarr multiple

Concern ldquoShe always talks to everyone else but me when there is a problemrdquoReframe ldquoIt sounds as if you would like more direct communication to resolve concernsrdquo

4ACKNOWLEDGINGDemonstrate an understanding of their perspective and their feelings

Why You Do It to convey that you appreciate the other personrsquos perspective to acknowledge the worthiness of the other person Note this is not the same as agreement

How You Do It acknowledge the value of their issues and feelings show appreciation for their efforts and actions

Example ldquoThat must have been very frustratingrdquo

14

5SUMMARIZEBring together the facts and pieces of the problem to check understanding

Why You Do It to review progress to pull together important ideas and information to establish a foundation for further discussion

How You Do It restate the central ideas and feelings you have heard

Example ldquoLetrsquos see if I have a clear understanding of your experience at this pointhelliprdquoldquoSo basically what is most important to you ishelliprdquo

STEP 4 AGREE

bull Get Speakerrsquos Consent to Your Reframingbull Speaker Has Been Heard and Knows Itbull Solution Is NearRemember that the objective of all of this is increase understanding of the otherrsquos

point of view not necessarily to agree with it or support itldquo Good listener tries to understand thoroughly what the other person is saying In the end he may disagree sharply but before he disagrees he wants to know exactly what it is he is disagreeing withrdquo Kenneth A WELLS

BARRIERS TO ACTIVE LISTENING While listening to someone there are many barriers that can prevent a person from really

hearing what is being said These barriers come from both the outside as well as the inside 1048707 External Barriers These are the various things that happen around you such as noises

clutter and other interruptions that act as barriers to active listening Before you start to actively listen to someone try to eliminate as many of these external barriers (eg turn off your cell phone put down another task that you are doing etc)

1048707 Internal Barriers Within the Listener There are also many barriers to active listening that come from within the listener They include things such as past experiences prejudices assumptions made certain attitudes and personality traits etc that affect how well you truly hear what is said Here are some samples

- Comparing Trying to figure out how what is being said is betterworse than something else (eg ldquoDoes she think that she is the only unhappy person My problem is so much bigger than hersrdquo) - Personal Experience Your own past experience can leave ldquoemotional cottonrdquo in your ears This can cause you to misinterpret what someone is saying based on your own personal experiencemdashnot therersquos - Automatic Talking Listener responds to the first recognized word speaker says not to the overall meaning of what the speaker has said

15

- Mind-Reading Thinking in advance that you know what someone is going to say This can lead to mentally ldquotuning outrdquo before the speaker is finished talking or worse yet interrupting the person to finish their sentence In either case this leads to misunderstanding frustration and possibly even anger - Rehearsing Trying to figure out what you are going to say in response Instead of listening to the person you are thinking about your response to them - Judging Discounting or judging the speakerrsquos values and therefore writing off what the person is saying This distorts your ability to really hear their message (eg ldquoLook at that haircutrdquo or ldquoHersquos loud and obnoxiousrdquo) - Day Dreaming Something the speaker says has triggered your own thought process and you start to day dream - FixingAdvising This is the tendency to only listen initially to the speaker then begin to search for a fix or advice to offer the person Note People overall do not want to be ldquofixedrdquo and most suggestions will be disregarded (unless specifically asked for) and may result in anger toward the fixer - Sparring You focus on things that you disagree with and will verbally attack the person when they are finished speaking You fail to take into consideration that this personrsquos experiences are unique and that only heshe is the expert on themselves - Filtering Twisting the Message You only hear what you want to hear and ignore everything else You do not really hear what is being said - Making Assumptions This is the process of coming to some kind of conclusion about someone or something with incomplete information Assumptions about people are made constantly and can severely limit your ability to communicate effectively and honestly with other people - Perceptual Errors Perceptions of people and events are often distorted due to the failure to consider important information You can overemphasize certain things while downplaying others This process is affected by a number of factors age health sex culture social roles previous experiences and even self-concept People tend to judge others on the basis of how they view ourselves

1048707 Barriers Within the Speaker Sometimes the barriers come from the speaker themselves which can make true communication difficult They include

- Expectations Speakers may sometimes have certain expectations of the listener and these are often not expressed to others This is where clarifying what the speaker has said and asking pertinent questions is important - Risk Taking Taking risks in communication can be scary but necessary Often the speaker has this silent question ldquoIf I risk myself and this is all Irsquove got what will happen if I am rejectedrdquo That is why it is very important as a listener to accept and respect the person for what heshe is - Avoidance A speaker may avoid certain subjects or disclosures if they feel it might be unsafe to talk about for a variety of reasons That is why it is important to let speakers say what they want without fear of being judged ridiculed or verbally attacked - Speaking in Code This refers to speaking in a language or jargon that is only understood by some people--not all Even though it is usually done with realizing it itrsquos not polite and keeps understanding low This can be overcome by the listener asking open-ended questions for clarification - Boundary A boundary is something you have developed that defines what is good or bad for you These are accumulated during our lifetime for protection and can become a learned method of existing Some people have no boundaries and it often

16

gets them into trouble They may offer far more information than what is asked for and may become a turnoff to others

CHARACTERISTICS OF A GOOD ACTIVE LISTENER

To listen actively is not a simple activity The following are important characteristics of a good active listenerBe there

Be present in heart mind and spirit with the person Begin with a clear intention to understand the other person before you seek to have himher understand you because you really need to hear what she has to say first If you dont have the time or dont want to listen wait until you do Displaying the proper attitude with open body language is important as well as matching your tempo and tone with the tempo and tone of the person you are listening toListen carefully to the person

Dont plan what you are going to say Dont think of how you can interrupt Dont think of how to solve the problem how to admonish how to console or what the person should do Refuse to be blinded by your own prejudices Dont think or struggle to react just listen Also watch for what will never be said out loud Read the nonverbal signals of othersAccept the person and hisher feelings

The meaning of what the person is trying to say is in a combination of content and feeling Accept the person and their feelings without judgment or reservation Dont stereotype the person even though she may be very different from you Also accept whatever the persons feelings may be or how they may differ from what you think a person should feel Dont be afraid that just because the feeling is expressed the person will always feel that way Remember that feelings are neither right nor wrong they just exist and can change tooStay with the other persons point of view without becoming that person

Put yourself in the other persons shoes at hisher point of reference Dont become that person but understand what she is feeling saying or thinking For clarification try translating what the other person is saying into your own words without being repetitious Stay separate enough to be objective but involved enough to helpTrust the person enough to keep out of it

Trust the persons ability to handle hisher own feelings work through them and find solutions to hisher own problems Stay Objective Refrain from offering solutions in order to keep yourself removed Dont intrude on what the person is trying to say Most people spend roughly 70 of their waking hours in some form of verbal communicationAre You a Good Listener

Do you frequently think of other things when others are talking to you Do you doodle shuffle papers look at the clock or out the window read the

newspaper or watch TV Do you silently argue with the talker Do you only selectively hear ideas that fit your beliefs Do you feel most people have little to talk about that is interesting or important Do you listen passively without any facial expressions Do you frequently interrupt others as they are speaking Do you complete sentences or ideas for people when they pause to think Do you silently criticize characteristics of the speaker voice looks manner of

speaking Do you have to ask people to repeat what they said because you have forgotten

17

Yet how many of us have ever had any formal training in the art of listening Here are some things you can do to improve your listening skills

1 Stop Talking You cannot listen if you are speaking2 Approach the listening experience from a state of calm To be centered is to be

calm at a very deep level to be without agendas or predispositions as to the outcome and to be open to experience Centeredness is a prerequisite to truly open listening It sets the stage for the points below

3 Help put the speaker at ease ndash try to remain open- minded accept the person and hisher feelings and show that you trust the person enough to avoid interfering Create a relaxed environment

4 Never rule out any topic of discussion as uninteresting Creative people are always on the lookout for new information While some conversations may be inane itrsquos wise to make sure the subject is not worthwhile before tuning out

5 Demonstrate that you want to listen ndash stay alert by standing or sitting straight if sitting lean forward slightly and maintain eye contact Show the speaker you are interested

6 Accept the speakerrsquos message On the face of it this would seem to be an argument for gullibilitymdashfor believing almost anything anyone tells you Itrsquos not The point here is to suspend judgment during the immediate experience of listening In accepting ldquoas isrdquo yoursquore not making a determination as to the truth or falsity of the statement yoursquore simply acknowledging exactly what the speaker is sayingmdashright or wrong good or bad true or false This capacity for total acceptance frees the mind to listen for other clues for example

7 Remove distractions ndash this includes your preoccupations daydreaming and presumptions as well as environmental distractions Dont doodle tap shuffle paper use the computer Shut the door turn off the television

8 Listen for the whole message One estimate has it that 75 of all communication is non-verbal If you take away the words whatrsquos left Plenty it turns out Beyond the words themselves is a host of clues as to what the speaker is communicating Some examples posture (rigid or relaxed closed or open) facial expression (does it support the words) hands (clenched open relaxed tense) eyes (does the speaker maintain eye contact) voice tone (does it match the words) movement (are the speakerrsquos movements intense relaxed congruent (with the message) or conflicting do they suggest that the whole speech is ldquostagedrdquo) What yoursquore looking for here are inconsistencies between what is said and what is really meant clues that tell you the spoken message isnrsquot really genuine Get the idea

9 Practice Active Listening ndash ask questions seek clarification reflect the speakerrsquos feelings and periodically summarize Ask questions This encourages others amp shows you are listening while developing ideas further

10 Donrsquot get hung up on the speakerrsquos delivery Then there are factors that simply reveal an awkwardness in delivery rather than any attempt to mislead The key is being able to distinguish between the two Itrsquos easy to get turned off when someone speaks haltingly has an irritating voice or just doesnrsquot come across well The key to good listening however is to get beyond the manner of delivery to the underlying message In order for this to happen you have to resolve not to judge the message by the delivery style Itrsquos amazing how much more clearly you can ldquohearrdquo once yoursquove made the decision to really listen rather than to criticize

11 Empathize ndash seek first to understand the speakerrsquos words intent and feelings Try avoiding autobiographical responses aka relating the information to your self because it has a tendency to make others feel like their message isnrsquot unique Try to see the other persons point of view

12 Avoid structured listening Itrsquos popular among some communications teachers to recommend a format for listening either in the form of questions (ldquoWhat is the speakerrsquos

18

main point What is heshe really saying) or key words (eg purpose evidence intent) The problem with this approach is that it creates a dialogue of noise in the listenerrsquos mind which interferes with clear reception Better to operate from the openness of the centered state (above) and receive the information just as it comes without any attempt to structure or judge it Think of your mind as similar to the central processing unit of a computer in which the data comes in and is stored without change available for subsequent access

13 Be patient ndash Do not interrupt Allow plenty of time do not interrupt do not ever walk away If the conversation becomes heated reschedule another time to sit down

14 Hold your temper15 Tune out distractions Poor listeners are distracted by interruptions good

listeners tune them out and focus on the speaker and the message Itrsquos a discipline that lends itself to specific techniques for maintaining onersquos focus Here are some things that will help Maintain eye contact with the speaker lean forward in your chair let the speakerrsquos words ldquoringrdquo in your ears and turn in your chair if necessary to block out unwanted distractions

16 Acknowledge Criticism but donrsquot React ndash if the speaker offers criticism seek to absorb it and acknowledge that it has been offered but avoid becoming defensive or angry If you decide in advance not to become defensive then there is no need to think about your own plan of attack (ie counter arguments excuses denial) and there is more time to listen to the speaker

17 Go easy on arguments amp criticism This attitude will put others on the defensive making communication difficult

18 Be alert to your own prejudices This goes along with 3 above but itrsquos so important that you may want to think specifically about the impact of your prejudices on your ability to really hear whatrsquos being communicated Often we are unaware how strongly our prejudices influence our willingness and ability to hear The fact is any prejudice valid or not tends to obscure the message

19 Resist the temptation to rebut Why is it that when we hear someone saying something with which we strongly disagree we immediately begin mentally formulating a rebuttal Many reasons but one of the most common is our natural tendency to resist any new information that conflicts with what we believe Keep in mind you can always rebut later when yoursquove heard the whole message and had time to think about it

20 Take notes sparingly The world seems to be split between those who take prolific notes and those who take few or none with each side equally strong in its position I come down toward the latter view for this reason the more focused you are on writing down what is being said the more likely you are to miss the nuances of the conversation There are two good ways around this dilemma You can write down only key words and then after the conversation meeting etc go back and fill in or you can take notes pictorially that is by diagramming what the speaker is saying Itrsquos a technique called ldquomindmappingrdquo and it was first popularized by a writer named Tony Buzan well over a decade ago in a book entitled ldquoUse Your Headrdquo You may want to look up his books hersquos written several

21 Stop Talking First amp last this is most important

ACTIVE LISTENING AND NEGOTIATION

Active listening is important for identifying and creating negotiating goals because listening helps to orient the negotiator to the environment When they listen negotiators have an opportunity to learn about the other parties the issues and the situation The key is to listen for needs on the other side for opportunities to meet those needs and for ways to adapt proposals to the needs of the other side Listeners gain bargaining power talkers often exhaust

19

it Because people do not learn much while they are talking negotiators should attempt to talk less than 50 of time

In negotiation there are four major reasons to listen1 to discover the needs of constituents and teammates2 to learn the other sidersquos proposals and strengths3 to discern subtle position changes and openings and4 to show other side that their proposals are understoodThough self-explanatory neither of the first two objectives is easy to accomplish

Misunderstandings occur even in the best communication circumstances Good paraphrasing skills help to produce better listening results in negotiation The act of repeating back the other sidersquos general statement reduces misunderstanding but it also imposes a valuable discipline on the listener

Listening for the subtle signs from the other side requires the same sharp concentration but the payoffs are high for those who understand the message hidden in the speakerrsquos words Speakers who take a hard line may find it nearly impossible to admit they were wrong Negotiators who are alert and sensitive to small signals showing a shifting position are in a position to find agreements

When the talks become personal negotiators tend to rationalize their behavior and justify their positions even as they project undesirable characteristics on the other side Hostilities can harden because each side has difficulty retreating from the harsh accusations and characterizations it has made To break these patterns it may take someone who can carefully listen for minuscule movement in the position of the other side Those who have learned to listen well can make great contributions to reaching agreements

The last major reason for active listening is that it demonstrates to members of the other side that the negotiator has a strong desire to know what they are saying This holds true whether negotiations are friendly or hostile initimate or formal It is desirable for the other side to see that the negotiator is listening Good listening helps to promote greater communication from the other side

In addition to the other substantial gains listening and the image of being a good listener have an interpersonal payoff Negotiators respond to warmth and empathy of listening behavior with reciprocal feelings Accurate restatement of the negotiatorrsquos position produces a greater willingness to reach agreement Listening behavior can demonstrate a sense of both understanding and caring to the other side

Good listening skills are useful for discovering the needs of constituents for understanding the case the other side is presenting for detecting subtle movement in the other side for demonstrating a sense of understanding and concern to them

CONCLUSION Listening is a critical communication skill for managers and consultants as well as for

all of us in our personal lives Advising someone well on a career personal or organizational issue requires that you understand that persons point of view You cant negotiate effectively until you understand what the other person wants Effective persuasion depends on a clear understanding of the other persons perspective In all of these situations active listening is crucial to achieving your ultimate communication objectives

Active listening is a skill that like other communication skills must be developed It does not come naturally to most of us By practicing you can develop these skills and then integrate them with your other communication skills

20

REFERENCES1 Cushman Donald P Cahn Dudley D Communication in Interpersonal Relationships

Newyork Pres (1985)2 DeVito Joseph ACommunication Concepts and Processes Prentice-Hall(1971)3 Fisher Aubrey Interpersonal Communication Mc-Grawhill (1994)4 Johnson Ralph A Negotiation Basics SAGE Publications (1993)5 Karrass Chester L GiveampTake (1974)6 Nierenberg Gerard IThe Complete Negotiator Perkins Associations (1973)7 John Stewart 6th edition (New York McGraw- Hill 1995)

httpwwwccsfeduServicesLAClern10listeninghtmlhttpwwwcambridgeesolorgteachbecbec_vantagelisteningaboutthepaperwhat_is_listeninghtmhttpwwwhrmvideocomitemscfmaction=viewampitem_id=2814amptype=ampsearch_keywords=real20characterhttpenwikipediaorgwikiEmpathyDefinitions_of_empathyhttpwwwpsychological-hugcom httpneurocriticblogspotcom200610misery-and-empathyhtmlhttppbskidsorgmayaandmiguelenglishparentsteachersactivitiesempathyhtmlwwwtheneutralzonecadownloadscomskillspdf csuemsueduconf2005presentationsTopic_3_Institutional_Resourcespdfclauniv-fcomtefrenglishsitesvideohtmwwwfamilysamhsagovtalklisteneraspxwwwmindtoolscomCommSkllMind20Tools20ListeningpdfwwwpbsorgwnetwideangleclassroomhandoutApdfwwwaelwebvcueduprojectsobservationlisteningpdfwwwukyeduGetInvolvedLeadershippdfActive20ListeningpdfwwwcusteducubccawprojectsschooladvisorstudywwwasainstituteorgadvisoryppSkill-ActiveListeningpptwwwifuworgtrainingpdfconflict-participant-2001pdfwwwutceduAdministrationStudentSupportServicesPowerPointFilesListening_and_Notetakingpptwww2kuedu~kunrotcacademics401Lesson20x1320Classppthttpwwwessentialschoolsorgcsresourcesviewces_res31httpchangingmindsorgtechniqueslisteningactive_listeninghtmhttpwwwcsufresnoedumediatormentorstrainingmaterialslistening-techpdfhttpwwwlorobercomFOLDocumentsActiveListeninghtmhttpwebsrvewuedugroupsstudentlifeActive_Listeners20pdfhttpocwmiteduNRrdonlyresSloan-School-of-Management15-281Spring2004369F673A-374C-42F8-8C42-F917567010C10yates_listenpdfhttpwwwlawumkcedufacultyprofilesglesnerfinescalilistenindexhtmhttpwwwmediaedorghandoutspdfsActiveListeningpdfhttpwwwgeocitiescomathensagora7076listenhtmlhttpenwikipediaorgwikiActive_listeninghttpwwwusueduarcidea_sheetsactivecfmhttpwww2stlucomcatalogcatalog_item_naspugid=dmlhZ3JhZml4amppid=1748httpwwweazhullorguknlcactive_listeninghtmhttpwww2hawaiiedu~bgaston340Lecture12ppthttpwwwbelfastbiblecollegecomfilesWeek_2_-_WorldviewsppthttpwwwpnlgovedodocumentsNyden_presentationppt

httpwwwetsueduedcEDC20Training20HandoutsCommunicationSkillsforManager_M_PWppthttppsycqueensuca~craigwcommunication_with_teens1ppthttpwwwacfhhsgovprogramscsepubstrainingcustomer_servicetrainer_guidecs_module_slides_3ppthttpusscoutsorgventuringPresentationsCommunicationppthttpwwwvcuedugraduatepdfsOrientation_Mentoring_2005ppthttpspaamericaneduexecutivempaagppthttpwwwnercomporgdatamediaPerformance20Management20PPHandoutsppthttpgroupscitadeledukrausefilesCommunication20Skills_part201_v3ppthttpccrwebccructaczafileadmintemplateElectronic_Training_ManualppthttpwwwnebhandsnebraskaedufilesMod720-20Deescalation2005ppthttpwwwstatetnuseducationspecedTEIStrainingmodule2ppts2920rev20Skills20to20Ease20the20Journey20LRppthttpwwwetsueduedcEDC20Training20HandoutsThe20Power20of20Listeningpowerpoint2ppthttpalamodeminesedu~qhanresearchtalkicdcs04ppthttpwwwnoycefdnorgmathdocumentsMathNetworkMeeting102506ppt

WHAT IS LISTENING


ADVANCED EMPATHY


EMPATHIZING


ACTIVE LISTENING

WHAT IS ACTIVE LISTENING

WHY LISTEN ACTIVELY

IMPORTANCE OF ACTIVE LISTENING

KEY CONCEPTS OF ACTIVE LISTENING


ACTIVE LISTENING (4 STEPS)

STEP 1LISTEN

STEP 2QUESTION

1YESNO QUESTIONS (Closed questions)

2OPEN-ENDED QUESTIONS

4LEADING QUESTIONS

STEP 3 REFLECT-PARAPHRASE

1REFLECTING

2PARAPHRASING

3REFRAME

4ACKNOWLEDGING

5SUMMARIZE

STEP 4 AGREE

BARRIERS TO ACTIVE LISTENING



CONCLUSION

REFERENCES

LISTENING

WHAT IS LISTENING

If you ask a group of people to give a one word description of listening some would say hearing however hearing is physical Listening is following and understanding the sound---it is hearing with a purpose In the other word listening is the process of receiving constructing meaning from and responding to spoken andor nonverbal messages to hear something with thoughtful attentionListening is the absorption of the meanings of words and sentences by the brain Listening leads to the understanding of facts and ideas But listening takes attention or sticking to the task at hand in spite of distractions It requires concentration which is the focusing of your thoughts upon one particular problem

LISTENING VERSUS HEARING To better understanding how and why the listening process can be at times so ineffective

you should know that listening and hearing are not the same Instead hearing is actually just one stage of listening which occurs when your ears pick up sound waves and transmit these waves to your brain On the ather hand listening is a whole communication process By understanding of process and utilizing the right tools you can improve your listening skills ensuring you do more than just hear the words

bull Hearing - physical process natural passive

bull Listening - physical amp mental process active learned process a skill

As we said listening is not the same as hearing Listening is a conscious activity based on three basic skills attitude attention and adjustment

Maintain a constructive Attitude

A positive attitude paves the way for open-mindedness Dont assume from the outset that a meeting is going to be dull And even if the speaker makes statements you dont agree with dont decide he or she is automatically wrong Dont let reactive interference prevent you from recalling the speakers key points

Strive to pay Attention

You cannot attain concentration by concentrating on the act of concentration Your attention must focus on the meeting When you hear a statement the words enter your short-term memory where they have to be swiftly processed into ideas If they arent processed then they will be dumped from short-term memory and will be gone forever Attentive listening makes sure the ideas are processed

Cultivate a capacity for Adjustment

Although some speakers clearly indicate what they intend to cover in their subject you need to be flexible enough to follow a speaking regardless of the direction it may take If

1







ADVANCED EMPATHY








2
















3

















4
















5



















6















7
















8


















9










10















11















12












13
















14





STEP 4 AGREE








15




16












17














18













19












20





WHAT IS LISTENING


ADVANCED EMPATHY


EMPATHIZING


ACTIVE LISTENING


WHY LISTEN ACTIVELY





STEP 1LISTEN

STEP 2QUESTION



4LEADING QUESTIONS


1REFLECTING

2PARAPHRASING

3REFRAME

4ACKNOWLEDGING

5SUMMARIZE

STEP 4 AGREE




CONCLUSION

REFERENCES







ADVANCED EMPATHY








2
















3

















4
















5



















6















7
















8


















9










10















11















12












13
















14





STEP 4 AGREE








15




16












17














18













19












20





WHAT IS LISTENING


ADVANCED EMPATHY


EMPATHIZING


ACTIVE LISTENING


WHY LISTEN ACTIVELY





STEP 1LISTEN

STEP 2QUESTION



4LEADING QUESTIONS


1REFLECTING

2PARAPHRASING

3REFRAME

4ACKNOWLEDGING

5SUMMARIZE

STEP 4 AGREE




CONCLUSION

REFERENCES
















3

















4
















5



















6















7
















8


















9










10















11















12












13
















14





STEP 4 AGREE








15




16












17














18













19












20





WHAT IS LISTENING


ADVANCED EMPATHY


EMPATHIZING


ACTIVE LISTENING


WHY LISTEN ACTIVELY





STEP 1LISTEN

STEP 2QUESTION



4LEADING QUESTIONS


1REFLECTING

2PARAPHRASING

3REFRAME

4ACKNOWLEDGING

5SUMMARIZE

STEP 4 AGREE




CONCLUSION

REFERENCES

















4
















5



















6















7
















8


















9










10















11















12












13
















14





STEP 4 AGREE








15




16












17














18













19












20





WHAT IS LISTENING


ADVANCED EMPATHY


EMPATHIZING


ACTIVE LISTENING


WHY LISTEN ACTIVELY





STEP 1LISTEN

STEP 2QUESTION



4LEADING QUESTIONS


1REFLECTING

2PARAPHRASING

3REFRAME

4ACKNOWLEDGING

5SUMMARIZE

STEP 4 AGREE




CONCLUSION

REFERENCES
















5



















6















7
















8


















9










10















11















12












13
















14





STEP 4 AGREE








15




16












17














18













19












20





WHAT IS LISTENING


ADVANCED EMPATHY


EMPATHIZING


ACTIVE LISTENING


WHY LISTEN ACTIVELY





STEP 1LISTEN

STEP 2QUESTION



4LEADING QUESTIONS


1REFLECTING

2PARAPHRASING

3REFRAME

4ACKNOWLEDGING

5SUMMARIZE

STEP 4 AGREE




CONCLUSION

REFERENCES



















6















7
















8


















9










10















11















12












13
















14





STEP 4 AGREE








15




16












17














18













19












20





WHAT IS LISTENING


ADVANCED EMPATHY


EMPATHIZING


ACTIVE LISTENING


WHY LISTEN ACTIVELY





STEP 1LISTEN

STEP 2QUESTION



4LEADING QUESTIONS


1REFLECTING

2PARAPHRASING

3REFRAME

4ACKNOWLEDGING

5SUMMARIZE

STEP 4 AGREE




CONCLUSION

REFERENCES















7
















8


















9










10















11















12












13
















14





STEP 4 AGREE








15




16












17














18













19












20





WHAT IS LISTENING


ADVANCED EMPATHY


EMPATHIZING


ACTIVE LISTENING


WHY LISTEN ACTIVELY





STEP 1LISTEN

STEP 2QUESTION



4LEADING QUESTIONS


1REFLECTING

2PARAPHRASING

3REFRAME

4ACKNOWLEDGING

5SUMMARIZE

STEP 4 AGREE




CONCLUSION

REFERENCES
















8


















9










10















11















12












13
















14





STEP 4 AGREE








15




16












17














18













19












20





WHAT IS LISTENING


ADVANCED EMPATHY


EMPATHIZING


ACTIVE LISTENING


WHY LISTEN ACTIVELY





STEP 1LISTEN

STEP 2QUESTION



4LEADING QUESTIONS


1REFLECTING

2PARAPHRASING

3REFRAME

4ACKNOWLEDGING

5SUMMARIZE

STEP 4 AGREE




CONCLUSION

REFERENCES


















9










10















11















12












13
















14





STEP 4 AGREE








15




16












17














18













19












20





WHAT IS LISTENING


ADVANCED EMPATHY


EMPATHIZING


ACTIVE LISTENING


WHY LISTEN ACTIVELY





STEP 1LISTEN

STEP 2QUESTION



4LEADING QUESTIONS


1REFLECTING

2PARAPHRASING

3REFRAME

4ACKNOWLEDGING

5SUMMARIZE

STEP 4 AGREE




CONCLUSION

REFERENCES










10















11















12












13
















14





STEP 4 AGREE








15




16












17














18













19












20





WHAT IS LISTENING


ADVANCED EMPATHY


EMPATHIZING


ACTIVE LISTENING


WHY LISTEN ACTIVELY





STEP 1LISTEN

STEP 2QUESTION



4LEADING QUESTIONS


1REFLECTING

2PARAPHRASING

3REFRAME

4ACKNOWLEDGING

5SUMMARIZE

STEP 4 AGREE




CONCLUSION

REFERENCES















11















12












13
















14





STEP 4 AGREE








15




16












17














18













19












20





WHAT IS LISTENING


ADVANCED EMPATHY


EMPATHIZING


ACTIVE LISTENING


WHY LISTEN ACTIVELY





STEP 1LISTEN

STEP 2QUESTION



4LEADING QUESTIONS


1REFLECTING

2PARAPHRASING

3REFRAME

4ACKNOWLEDGING

5SUMMARIZE

STEP 4 AGREE




CONCLUSION

REFERENCES















12












13
















14





STEP 4 AGREE








15




16












17














18













19












20





WHAT IS LISTENING


ADVANCED EMPATHY


EMPATHIZING


ACTIVE LISTENING


WHY LISTEN ACTIVELY





STEP 1LISTEN

STEP 2QUESTION



4LEADING QUESTIONS


1REFLECTING

2PARAPHRASING

3REFRAME

4ACKNOWLEDGING

5SUMMARIZE

STEP 4 AGREE




CONCLUSION

REFERENCES












13
















14





STEP 4 AGREE








15




16












17














18













19












20





WHAT IS LISTENING


ADVANCED EMPATHY


EMPATHIZING


ACTIVE LISTENING


WHY LISTEN ACTIVELY





STEP 1LISTEN

STEP 2QUESTION



4LEADING QUESTIONS


1REFLECTING

2PARAPHRASING

3REFRAME

4ACKNOWLEDGING

5SUMMARIZE

STEP 4 AGREE




CONCLUSION

REFERENCES
















14





STEP 4 AGREE








15




16












17














18













19












20





WHAT IS LISTENING


ADVANCED EMPATHY


EMPATHIZING


ACTIVE LISTENING


WHY LISTEN ACTIVELY





STEP 1LISTEN

STEP 2QUESTION



4LEADING QUESTIONS


1REFLECTING

2PARAPHRASING

3REFRAME

4ACKNOWLEDGING

5SUMMARIZE

STEP 4 AGREE




CONCLUSION

REFERENCES





STEP 4 AGREE








15




16












17














18













19












20





WHAT IS LISTENING


ADVANCED EMPATHY


EMPATHIZING


ACTIVE LISTENING


WHY LISTEN ACTIVELY





STEP 1LISTEN

STEP 2QUESTION



4LEADING QUESTIONS


1REFLECTING

2PARAPHRASING

3REFRAME

4ACKNOWLEDGING

5SUMMARIZE

STEP 4 AGREE




CONCLUSION

REFERENCES




16












17














18













19












20





WHAT IS LISTENING


ADVANCED EMPATHY


EMPATHIZING


ACTIVE LISTENING


WHY LISTEN ACTIVELY





STEP 1LISTEN

STEP 2QUESTION



4LEADING QUESTIONS


1REFLECTING

2PARAPHRASING

3REFRAME

4ACKNOWLEDGING

5SUMMARIZE

STEP 4 AGREE




CONCLUSION

REFERENCES












17














18













19












20





WHAT IS LISTENING


ADVANCED EMPATHY


EMPATHIZING


ACTIVE LISTENING


WHY LISTEN ACTIVELY





STEP 1LISTEN

STEP 2QUESTION



4LEADING QUESTIONS


1REFLECTING

2PARAPHRASING

3REFRAME

4ACKNOWLEDGING

5SUMMARIZE

STEP 4 AGREE




CONCLUSION

REFERENCES














18













19












20





WHAT IS LISTENING


ADVANCED EMPATHY


EMPATHIZING


ACTIVE LISTENING


WHY LISTEN ACTIVELY





STEP 1LISTEN

STEP 2QUESTION



4LEADING QUESTIONS


1REFLECTING

2PARAPHRASING

3REFRAME

4ACKNOWLEDGING

5SUMMARIZE

STEP 4 AGREE




CONCLUSION

REFERENCES













19












20





WHAT IS LISTENING


ADVANCED EMPATHY


EMPATHIZING


ACTIVE LISTENING


WHY LISTEN ACTIVELY





STEP 1LISTEN

STEP 2QUESTION



4LEADING QUESTIONS


1REFLECTING

2PARAPHRASING

3REFRAME

4ACKNOWLEDGING

5SUMMARIZE

STEP 4 AGREE




CONCLUSION

REFERENCES












20





WHAT IS LISTENING


ADVANCED EMPATHY


EMPATHIZING


ACTIVE LISTENING


WHY LISTEN ACTIVELY





STEP 1LISTEN

STEP 2QUESTION



4LEADING QUESTIONS


1REFLECTING

2PARAPHRASING

3REFRAME

4ACKNOWLEDGING

5SUMMARIZE

STEP 4 AGREE




CONCLUSION

REFERENCES





WHAT IS LISTENING


ADVANCED EMPATHY


EMPATHIZING


ACTIVE LISTENING


WHY LISTEN ACTIVELY





STEP 1LISTEN

STEP 2QUESTION



4LEADING QUESTIONS


1REFLECTING

2PARAPHRASING

3REFRAME

4ACKNOWLEDGING

5SUMMARIZE

STEP 4 AGREE




CONCLUSION

REFERENCES