T H E D A Y I R E A L I Z E D I W A S N O T ( Y E T ) A N A G I L E C O A C H

T H E J O U R N E Y A N D T H O U G H T S O F A N A G I L E

P R A C T I T I O N E R W H O D I S C O V E R E D H I S PA S S I O N

F O R C O A C H I N G

Sylvain Mahe

WHO AM I?

• Entreprise Agile Coach

– Publishing, Telcos, Industrial Property, Banking...

– Startup companies and MNCs

• Leads the largest team of Agile coaches in Singapore at Palo IT, a boutique Innovation consultancy

• Life Transformation Coach (ACC - International Coaching Federation)

• Explorer, seeker, salsa dancer and cheese lover

Twitter: @mahe_sylvain

LinkedIn: https://sg.linkedin.com/pub/sylvain-mahe/2/275/8b0

COACH

CIRCA 2010

CIRCA 2010

AND THEN I MET A REAL COACH…

POSTURESYou could

do X

I’ve done

X

Try Y,

because…

What else

could you

try ?

X, Y, Z…

X is…

Consultant Coach

Mentor Trainer

3 THINGS THAT MAY HELP BRING YOUR COACHING TO THE NEXT LEVEL ( T H A T W O R K E D F O R M E )

1. Know yourself

2. Go beyond the words

3. Hold the frame

LET’S HAVE A CHAT!

• Form triads: observer, story teller, listener

– Story teller: recall a good memory and share it with the listener

– Listener: engage in this conversation as you would normally do

– Observer: well… observe

• 3 min

• What kind of questions did you ask?

– Open / closed

– Leading

– Did you make good use of the silence?

• Were you fully present?

– Did you catch yourself wanting to speak?

– Did you interrupt the story teller?

– Did you hijack the conversation?

• Internal state

– Listening? Judging?

– What was your intention?

(telling a diving trip story) - I was maybe 10m deep and could barely see.- Oh, that was scary, wasn’t it?

- I was maybe 10m deep and could barely see.- Oh yes, that reminds me of my diving trip last year…

DEBRIEF

MY JOURNEY

• My realizations

– I talk too much – silence is key

– I want to convince

– My presence is on and off

– I’m the smartest and the world needs to know what I

have to say

• From now on

– I will know myself better

– I will try to be a role model

PRESENCE > NON JUDGMENT > SILENCE

”“

TIP 1: SELF AWARENESS

Self-awareness is one of the rarest of human commodities. I

don't mean self-consciousness where you're limiting and

evaluating yourself. I mean being aware of your own patterns.

COMMUNICATION ICEBERG

Facts

Emotions / Feelings

Values, beliefs, frameworks

• Chit chatCosmetic

• Self centered

• I (…feel the same, …want to ask, …want to know…)

Conversational

• Mirroring, paraphrasing

• Physical posture

• Body language, tone of voice

Active

• Keywords

• UnsaidDeep

GO DEEPER

• Rotate roles in the triad

– Story teller: think of a topic that you need help with.

– Listener:

• Set your intention = be like water, explore

• Open questions

• Presence

• Be curious. Really. As much as you can. Make it artificial. Fake it. Play it. Focus on the

person. Let your curiosity guide you asking questions.

• Mirror

– Observer: well… observe

• 3 min

• 2 min debrief

MY JOURNEY

• My realizations

– I’m Intellectual, Emotional

– I’m at ease with emotions

– I’m not (always) truly curious

– I (sometimes) take things personally

• From now on

– I’ll go out of my comfort zone and

experiment

FEEL > LISTEN > MIRROR > EMPATHIZE

Physical

EmotionalIntellectual

“

TIP 2: GO BEYOND THE WORDS & FACTS

”If you change the belief first, changing the action is easier.

C OAC H I N G

M O D E L S

• GROW

• Diverge / converge

• Many others…

HOLD THE FRAME

Reality Goal

Barriers

Options

Source: Executive Coach International

C O A C H I N G C A N V A S

• By Martin Alaimo

PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER ( H O M E W O R K )

• Coaching dojo: initiating significant conversations

• 6 ppl

– 1 person is the Seeker

– 4 are coaches

– 1 is an observer

• Try

– Have the model in mind. Connect questions with model.

– Ask open questions

– Be curious: Rephrase, Mirror, Explore

– Don’t provide solutions

– Use silence

– Feedback: True, Helpful, Inspiring, Necessary, Kind (THINK)

MY JOURNEY

• My realizations

– I get lost in people’s stories

– I’m good at opening perspectives

• From now on

– I’ll bring more structure to the conversations

– I’ll improve my questioning: powerful questions

EXPLORE > ASK > STEER

convergediverge

TIP 3: HOLD THE FRAME

“

”

Empty your mind, be formless. Shapeless, like water. If you put water

into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it

becomes the bottle.

Be like water making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but

adjust to the object, and you shall find a way around or through it. If

nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves.

AGILE COACH, A STRANGE BEAST

Consultant

Coach

Trainer

Change Leader

Expert

Mentor

Facilitator

Source: Agile coaching institute

COACHING?

I have a

problem

What are

your

options?

I pay you to give

me answers, not

questions

C O A C H I N G O R G A N I Z AT I O N S

• Is the client willing to be coached?

• Is coaching what the client need?

• What the client needs and wants are

2 different things

• Does the client know what coaching

is?

• What’s your preferred posture?

• Is it the right time for coaching?

THE RIGHT POSTURE AT THE RIGHT TIME

And you, in which organization do

you want to work?Source: Peter Green – Agile For All

ASK > APPRECIATE

• Marshall Goldsmith

– “What Got you here won’t get you there”

• Feedforward

– Think of something you would like to change in your life

– Find someone

• A: Say your name

• A: Tell your issue (“Here is something I would like to improve in my life”)

• B: Offer 2 suggestions

• A: Say “Thank you”

– No explanations, no comments

– Rotate

– Shake hands

– Do the above with as many people as possible in the next 5 minutes

TAKEAWAYS

• Mantras

– Presence > Non judgment > Silence

– Feel > Listen > Mirror > Empathize

– Explore > Ask > Steer

• Go further

– ICAgile, Agile Coaching Institute

– Coaching course

– Communication patterns: Non Violent Communication,

Transactional Analysis, Toltec Agreements, Core

Protocols

– Personalities: Process Communication, MBTI, 16PF,

Enneagram

THANK YOU

“ ”Be the change that you wish to see in the world.

FURTHER READING