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What a beautiful sunny day outside!
I’ll probably end up getting a sunburn.
The glass is always half full!
But, the ice is always melting.
I feel like a million bucks!
Which means I must be incredibly in debt.
The grass is always greener on the other side!
That means it will be harder to mow.
The long cold winter is !nally over!
I suppose the mosquitoes will be back soon then.
The !owers I picked today are so pretty!
As soon as I picked them, they started dying inside.
I just got a cute new puppy!
I’m actually more of a cat person.
She said she loves me!
It’s probably out of pity.
Today will be an amazing day!
Tonight will be a complete failure.
Babies won’t stop laughing at me!
I’m probably the strangest thing they’ve ever seen.
I promise to give today my best!
My best is never good enough.
That random cute guy boughtme a drink!
He must think I’m a slut.
I can hear opportunity knocking!
It must have the wrong house.
I’m on top of the world!
I’ll have a great viewof my downward spiral.
I never cry over spilt milk!
I must be lactose intolerant.
There is always a silver lining!
It’s probably made of cancerous materials.
My dreams are coming true!
What a nightmare.
Pain is only weakness leaving the body!
Except if you’re a paraplegic.
I’ve been chosen to lead my team!
The thought alone is exhausting.
Life gave me lemons, so I’mmaking lemonade!
These lemons don’t look ripe enough.