the epicurean mom

Our TownConcerts at MUS, Elmo, and the YMCA

wrap up Christmas and end-of-year musical celebrations, p. 29

Leaving It All BehindLily and Kate Mazza wonder “How will

Santa find us?” as they explore the jungle near the Thai-Burma border, p. 17

Trail TalkMany of Santa Barbara’s finest took

their last trail ride in 2011; Lynn Kirst remembers some of them, p. 22

The Voice of the Village S SINCE 1995 S

The best things in life are

FREE29 Dec 2011 – 5 Jan 2012Vol 17 Issue 52

COMMUNITY CALENDAR, P. 10 • CALENDAR OF EVENTS, P. 32 • GUIDE TO MONTECITO EATERIES, P. 34

Montecito-based former Monaco spymaster Robert

Eringer pens “Cloak & Corkscrew: Where CIA Meets Hollywood,” p. 6

Mineards’ Miscellany

Katie Koonce began blogging as Epicureanmom.com; now her clear and easy-to-follow recipes (along with temptingly crisp photos) attract an international audience (story on page 20)

THE EPICUREAN MOM

– Matt Middlebrook, Caruso Affiliated (full story on page 6)

– Matt Middlebrook, Caruso Affiliated (full story on page 6)

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5 Editorial Profile of Dr. Paul Hansma, inventor of the Reference

Point Indenter6 Montecito Miscellany Robert Eringer publishes sixth novel; Tom Wathen takes

friends for a ride on DC-3; Ivan Arroyo opens own restaurant; David Zaslav asks OWN viewers to hang on; Katy Perry and Russell Brand head to India; Santa Barbara Revels’ Bavarian Celebration; Jude Bijou’s book bash; Sandringham House packed; launch of a million dollar perfume; Kate Middleton’s hairstylist quits salon

8 Letters to the Editor Bob Largura thanks Richie; gift recommendation from

expert Dale Lowdermilk; Tim Werner advises on what Montecito needs; Daniel Seibert captures the lunar eclipse

10 Community Calendar New Year’s Eve in Montecito; Pops Concert at Granada;

YMCA open house; MBAR and MA meetings; San Ysidro Pathway opening; MERRAG meets; ongoing events

Tide Guide Handy guide to assist readers in determining when to take

that walk or run on the beach12 Village Beat Montecito Rotarians volunteer in the Congo; MERRAG to

celebrate 25 years of service 14 Seen Around Town Ribbon cutting ceremony for new Friendship Center

location; Mental Health Association fundraiser luncheon; Antioch University Santa Barbara event at University Club

17 Leaving it all Behind The Mazzas figure out how to reach Santa from a jungle in

Thailand20 Life•Style Santa Barbara native Katie Koonce combines motherhood,

her love of food, and healthy meals on her blog22 Trail Talk Remembrance of those who “left the trail” this past year

23 Book Talk Ian Rankin’s latest thriller has a new protagonist: Inspector

Malcolm Fox24 Sheriff’s Blotter Auto theft on Butterfly Lane; residential burglary on Hill

Road; public intoxication arrest; theft in Summerland 26 Montecito Diary Local eye doctor Dr. Dante Pieramici takes his family on

humanitarian mission to Honduras29 Our Town MUS, ELMO, and YMCA holiday concerts32 Calendar of Events Wanda Jackson brings rockabilly to SOhO; Kenny

Loggins and Lois Mahalia ring in the new year; Fishbon’s New Year’s Eve; Ojai Concert Series; Jim “Kimo” West plays SOhO; Hot Tuna and David Bromberg rock the Lobero; Sara Bareilles at Granada; Kamatana at SOhO; NECTAR at Yoga Soup; SOS season kicks off

33 Ernie’s World Ernie’s artificial Christmas tree somehow doesn’t make

things easier 34 Guide to Montecito Eateries The most complete, up-to-date, comprehensive listing of all

individually owned Montecito restaurants, coffee houses, bakeries, gelaterias, and hangouts; some in Santa Barbara, Summerland, and Carpinteria too

36 On Entertainment Robert Bernhardt conducts Santa Barbara Symphony on

New Year’s Eve; Picasso at the Lapin Agile at Museum of Art; SBIFF announces opening film

38 Classified Advertising Our very own “Craigslist” of classified ads, in which sellers

offer everything from summer rentals to estate sales39 Local Business Directory Smart business owners place business cards here so

readers know where to look when they need what those businesses offer

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“Holiday Glamor”

UCSB: A Hot Bed Of Invention and Research

During the holidays I’ve had occasion to attend a series of events that featured a number of UCSB professors. To a man and woman, they have proven to be a highly intelligent, curious, really interesting, and

sometimes even slightly whacky, group of industrious and inventive people. Over the course of the next few months, Montecito Journal (and I in particular) will introduce readers to some of them, their ideas, philosophies, inventions, passions, and quirks. We hope you’ll find them as fascinating as we have.

Reference Point IndenterWe were at the hillside home of Lad Handelman, where a small group of

supporters and potential investors gathered recently to hear UCSB Professor Dr. Paul Hansma, inventor of what he and his business partner Davis Brimer, Founder and CEO of Active Life Scientific, Inc., are calling a Reference Point Indenter under the trademark BioDent. Dr. Hansma, a physicist, is also cred-ited as a principal inventor of the atomic force microscope (AFM); his research group has been working with, developing, and building them for the past twenty years.

Dr. Hansma began his most recent research using his microscopes to study various things, most especially abalone shells, with Professor of Environmental Science and Management Dan Morris and Galen Stucky, Professor of Chemistry & Materials in the Biomolecular Science and Engineering Program.

“Dan was interested in abalone shells as a biologist. Galen Stucky was inter-ested in them,” Dr. Hansma explains during our casual conversation, “because an abalone shell has only three percent protein by weight and ninety seven per-cent crystal and calcium carbonate, but it is three thousand times more fracture resistant than pure calcium carbonate, so somehow that three percent of protein made it three thousand times more fracture resistant.”

One of the things they found was that protein molecules had qualities called sacrificial bonds and hidden links, “which turned out to be ways of incredibly toughening material. It is a mechanism we discovered,” Dr. Hansma continues, “which was a secret to the abalone’s amazing fracture resistance.” After that discovery, he and his cohort looked at other marine minerals and bio-minerals, but Hansma understood that the bio-mineral that’s really important to people is the human bone.

“Might there be some of the same kind of molecules we found in the abalone shell in bones?” Dr. Hansma wondered. “Might fracture resistance in bone come from the same reason that the abalone has its fracture resistance?” he asked. “Sure enough,” he says, “there were such molecules in the bone: human bone, mouse bone, bovine bone, any bone.” He speculated that perhaps these protein molecules were part of the secret to bone fracture resistance. The team began looking for those secrets with their atomic-force microscopes.

Dr. Hansma began talking about the subject of fracture resistance at various international bone conferences, and about six or seven years ago, after giving a talk, a physician named Adolfo Diaz Perez – “a real thought leader in the

Editorial by James Buckley

UCSB Physics Professor Dr. Paul Hansma and his former pupil, now business partner in Active Life Scientific, Inc., Davis Brimer

EDITORIAL Page 194


Prince Albert of Monaco’s nemesis, Robert Eringer, whose battle royal with His Serene

Highness over more than $500,000 in back salary as his spymaster continues to wend through the U.S. courts, has been putting his background in the Mediterranean principality to good use.

Next month he publishes his sixth book, Cloak & Corkscrew: Where CIA Meets Hollywood.

“I first had the idea for this about five years ago when I was running the intelligence service for Albert,” explains Robert. “A liaison partner from another intelligence service con-veyed to me a funny story about the CIA’s office in Los Angeles. It stuck with me.”

While visiting Washington, D.C. two years back, Robert met with a retired friend from the CIA’s operations direc-torate and learned a lot about the agen-cy’s connection with Hollywood.

“What I learned became the basis of my novel. As with most novels, the gestation period – mind mulching – took longer than the actual writing, about two months. At one point, I got fed up with espionage and stopped. Over a year later, I picked up the unfinished manuscript, read it, loved it, and I completed it in a week.”

Robert, 57, says the CIA has an intriguing relationship with Tinseltown, which even leads to turf wars between the agency and the FBI.

“For decades, a division called Domestic Contacts ran the CIA’s U.S. operations. A few years ago, its name was changed to Foreign Research Division. Today, the operatives of Foreign Research cultivate foreign

nationals that attend trade shows and universities in the U.S., recruiting them to spy in their spheres of exper-tise upon returning home.

“Officers from this division also recruit U.S. citizens traveling abroad, using them for special ‘access’ to peo-ple and to places of interest that are otherwise hard to reach. Some recruits go mostly unpaid, willing to cooper-ate purely for patriotic reasons.”

Robert describes Los Angeles as the agency’s “most unique” domestic sta-tion, as it is from there that agents cul-tivate and recruit Hollywood celebri-ties to spy for them abroad.

His new tome is a fictionalized ver-sion of how the CIA operates, with box office star Josh Penner meeting Venezuela’s Hugo Chavez as an agent, and the ensuing entanglements.

Cloak & Corkscrew will be available globally on Amazon, with an e-book Kindle edition in due course...

Living the High LifeWhen Montecito’s Tom Wathen

takes friends out for a spin, he does it in quite splendid fashion.

Tom, 82, who used to head the Pinkerton National Detective Agency, has been an accomplished flyer for 53 years, even buying his own airport, Flabob in Riverside, a year after his retirement in 1999.

Since the ‘50s he has owned 15 planes, but one of his favorites is a DC-3 – a former World War II C-47 – built in 1943, which he has restored.

So the other day Tom and his wife, Carol, invited fellow Montecitans, Jane and Jim Burkemper, and Hope Ranch couple, Diana and Paul O’Keefe for a high flying tea, leav-

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New Novel for Eringer

Monte ito Miscellany

by Richard Mineards

Richard covered the Royal Family for Britain’s Daily Mirror and Daily Mail before moving to New York to write for Rupert Murdoch’s newly launched Star magazine in 1978; Richard later wrote for New York magazine’s “Intelligencer”. He continues to make regular appearances on CBS, ABC, and CNN, and moved to Montecito four years ago.

Robert Eringer puts his spy background to good use in new novel


ing from Atlantic Aviation at Santa Barbara Airport and flying up to the Vandenberg Air Force Base area.

“It was the most enormous fun,” says Jane. “The plane is still pretty basic, but very well preserved. It was the oldest plane we’ve ever flown in and quite massive. But, given its pro-pellers, it’s amazingly quiet.

“Tom flew quite low and it couldn’t have been a more perfect day, although it was quite windy. The views were spectacular. It was one of life’s magic little moments!”

The high life, indeed...

Like Father, Like Son Ivan Arroyo is following in his

father Alfredo’s culinary footsteps.Alfredo has worked at the popular

nosheteria, Café Del Sol, for near-ly four decades and is now general

manager for owners, Jack and Emilie Sears.

Ivan, 26, started working at the eat-ery by the bird refuge at the age of 10 during his summer vacations, helping in the kitchen.

“I’ve grown up in the restaurant business, but I had to really earn my job,” he says. “I became a busboy and then a waiter, but I always wanted to open my own place.”

That dream came true last year when Ivan and his fiancée, Ashton Falchi, a student at cosmetology school, opened their 100-seater res-taurant, Las Aves Café on Bath Street in Santa Barbara, which he describes as having continental cuisine with a Spanish flair.

“My father has, of course, given me

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Paul and Diana O’Keefe, Jane Burkemper, Carol and Tom Wathen, and Jim Burkemper in front of Tom’s impos-ing DC-3


If you have something you think Montecito should know about, or wish to respond to something you read in the Journal, we want to hear from you. Please send all such correspondence to: Montecito Journal, Letters to the Editor, 1206 Coast Village Circle, Suite D, Montecito, CA. 93108. You can also FAX such mail to: (805) 969-6654, or E-mail to [email protected]

LETTERS TO THE EDITOR

Shave and a HaircutRecently, two young U.S. Marines

enjoyed a wonderful experience at Richie the Barber’s. Two

marines enrolled in Special Operations were in need of a haircut. While their hair was only a quarter-inch long, their heads needed to be shaved. Richie immediately invited the two of them to sit down with his very attractive young lady barbers, Loran and Emily, and served refreshments while the men were getting cleaned up. When it came to pay, Richie said it was his pleasure and no payment would be accepted.

Thank you Richie from the U.S. Marines. You made their trip to Santa Barbara an unforgettable experience.

Bob LarguraMontecito

Experts At “Work”Thank goodness the “experts” at

the National Transportation Safety Board are targeting “distracted” drivers. For years, our organization has pushed for more regulation over what goes on in moving vehicles… and this is only the first giant step towards total safety. It’s also good to see how few people are resist-ing or questioning the “it’s-for-your-own-good” attitude that drives most bureaucrats… and our insatiable dependence upon “experts.” This addiction may be more dangerous than all the text-messages ever sent.

In the July-Aug 1981 issue of the Journal of Irreproducible Results, we suggested that to prevent distracted driving, all radio and stereo equip-ment be removed from cars and that stun-gun-like devices within the car seat be automatically acti-vated when any passenger becomes obnoxious, uppity, rowdy or argu-mentative.

As pointed out in several other issues of the JIR (2001 & 2006), some experts believe senile drivers are just as dangerous as drunks. Or that an “angry” driver can be as reckless as someone trying to inhale a cheese-burger, sipping a double-latte-crap-pachino or multitasking with a hand-kerchief in their nose.

While everyone is in the “safety-first-last-and-always” holiday mode, please be sure to read why CPSC experts recommend Bloat Balls as the “World’s Safest Toy.”

Remember, real experts may not know your phone number, or Social Security number, but they’re certainly

willing to take a guess.Dale LowdermilkMontecito(Editor’s note: Mr. Lowdermilk is

founder and publisher of the Journal of Irreproducible Results and notsafe.org; he claims to be the World’s Foremost Expert on “experts” – J.B.)

Montecito y’s Wherefore

Dear fellow Montecitans. An excit-ing time for our community is at hand. Our YMCA is embarking on a Capital Campaign to remodel its outdated, obsolete facilities to address the current needs of our whole community.

Over the past four years the YMCA has embarked on an arduous process surveying current members, program participants, neighboring schools and even hiring an outside firm that con-tacted six hundred residents in our service area to find out exactly what “our community” would like the Y to provide. This master planning process has provided the YMCA with a blue-print for our community’s needs.

You may ask, what does Montecito need? The answer is that while Montecito is a fantastic community in so many aspects, it also fails to provide many basic community needs. What our research has shown us is there is a need for expanding our pool space to service our active aquatic program. Public feedback has also shown a need for a warm pool that could be used for teaching our young to swim while also assisting our elderly with reha-bilitation in therapeutic warm water. Research has also shown that there is no gymnasium in our community for our youth to participate in basketball, volleyball and other indoor sports, regardless of the weather conditions (which are currently only offered in other communities).

Because Montecito is a community with such diverse interests and extreme-ly active lifestyles we need to provide more for our residents. Now is the time to rise to the occasion, and invest in our future. Our community needs these facilities. This year, the YMCA enters its 125th year servicing the Santa Barbara area, so please support the Montecito YMCA Capital Campaign as we look forward to provide for our community for the next 125 years.

Tim WernerParent, Volunteer andCapital Committee ChairMontecito YMCA

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Associate Editor Bob Hazard • Lily Buckley • Associate Publisher Robert Shafer

Advertising Manager/Sales Susan Brooks • Advertising Specialist Tanis Nelson • Office Manager / Ad Sales Christine Merrick • Moral Support & Proofreading Helen Buckley • Arts/Entertainment/Calendar/Music

Steven Libowitz • Books Shelly Lowenkopf • Business Flora Kontilis • Columns Ward Connerly, Erin Graffy, Scott Craig • Food/Wine Judy Willis, Lilly Tam Cronin • Gossip Thedim Fiste, Richard Mineards • History Hattie Beresford • Humor Jim Alexander, Ernie Witham, Grace Rachow • Photography/Our Town Joanne A. Calitri • Society Lynda Millner • Travel Jerry Dunn • Sportsman Dr. John Burk • Trail Talk Lynn P. Kirst

Medical Advice Dr. Gary Bradley, Dr. Anthony Allina • Legal Advice Robert Ornstein

Published by Montecito Journal Inc., James Buckley, PresidentPRINTED BY NPCP INC., SANTA BARBARA, CA

Montecito Journal is compiled, compounded, calibrated, cogitated over, and coughed up every Wednesday by an exacting agglomeration of excitable (and often exemplary) expert edifiers at 1206 Coast Village Circle, Suite D, Montecito, CA 93108. How to reach us: Editorial: (805) 565-1860; Sue Brooks: ext. 4; Christine Merrick: ext. 3; Classified: ext. 3; FAX: (805) 969-6654; Letters to Editor: Montecito Journal, 1206 Coast Village Circle, Suite D, Montecito, CA 93108; E-MAIL: [email protected]

The best little paper in America(Covering the best little community anywhere!)

29 December 2011 – 5 January 2012 MONTECITO JOURNAL 9I cannot trust a man to control others who cannot control himself – Robert E. Lee

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Occupying Camp FourI hope you will consider the fol-

lowing letter for the Montecito Journal. Your paper is very well respected and as I understand it from Montecito resi-dents, everyone reads it!

Who will get the signatures: Congressman Gallegly, Santa Barbara County Supervisors, or Governor Brown?

The Santa Ynez community is abuzz with the latest regarding “Camp 4,” the 1,400 acres in the heart of the Santa Ynez Valley owned by the Chumash Casino tribe (Santa Ynez Band of Mission Indians). Apparently, the Chumash Casino tribal government is using new tactics to resist residents’ opposition to their plans to take the 1,400 acres under their control.

Supposedly they have collected 2,500 petitions.

At this time we do not know what politician(s) will receive these peti-tions. Remember, it takes a politician to sell out a community. And also remember the following: according to a 2005 letter from the Office of former Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, “in pre-contact times there was no Santa Ynez Band of Mission Indians or any single independent political entity constituting a collection of the many different villages in the Santa Ynez Valley,” and per the 2009 United States Supreme Court “Carcieri Decision,” there is a question if the Chumash Casino tribe (Santa Ynez Band of Mission Indians) is a tribal govern-ment eligible for expansion of land into federal trust.

In addition, when the expansion plans came up a few months ago, Santa Barbara attorney Barry Cappello sent a letter to the Supervisors stating that their participation in moving the 1,400 acres into trust would be illegal unless they first went through the Santa Ynez Valley Community Plan amendment process.

Last week, Congressman Gallegly’s Solvang staff said that the Congressman had received virtually no letters of support for the Chumash Casino tribe’s plans on Camp 4. He said that our community should be grateful that we have an honorable Congressman who will listen to our community.

What lucky politician will get these 2,500 signatures? It will be enter-taining to see if he-she-they think this document provides the politi-cal cover to ignore the United States Supreme Court, the facts document-ed by the Office of former Governor Schwarzenegger, the established pro-cess for amending the Santa Ynez Valley Community Plan, and the resi-dents of Santa Barbara County living in the Santa Ynez Valley, and over the hill in Santa Barbara and Montecito, who stridently oppose the removal of this 1,400 acres from local and state

jurisdiction into trust. To view the Office of former

Governor Schwarzenegger’s letter, contact information for your elected officials, and to donate go to: www.polosyv.org. To donate to the Camp 4 and related expenses account, send your check to Preservation of Los Olivos. Under the memo section of your check write “Camp 4.” Send your donation to PO Box 722, Los Olivos, Ca. 93441. P.O.L.O. is a 501 c 4 non-profit corporation. Check with your tax advisor for deductibility.

Kathy ClearyLos Olivos(Editor’s note: Kathy Cleary is president

of Preservation of Los Olivos (POLO), a grass roots citizen group)

A Matter Of PrincipleIn 1952, Armon M. Sweat, Jr., a

member of the Texas House of Representatives, was asked about his position on whiskey. What follows is his exact answer (taken from the Archives of Texas):

“If you mean whiskey, the devil’s brew, the poison scourge, the bloody monster that defiles innocence, dethrones reason, destroys the home, creates misery and poverty, yea, liter-ally takes the bread from the mouths of little children; if you mean that evil drink that topples Christian men and women from the pinnacles of righteous and gracious living into the bottomless pit of degradation, shame, despair, helplessness, and hopeless-ness, then, my friend, I am opposed to it with every fiber of my being.

“However, if by whiskey you mean the lubricant of conversation, the phil-osophic juice, the elixir of life, the liquid that is consumed when good fellows get together, that puts a song in their hearts and the warm glow of contentment in their eyes; if you mean Christmas cheer, the stimulating sip that puts a little spring in the step of an elderly gentleman on a frosty morning; if you mean that drink that enables man to magnify his joy, and to forget life’s great tragedies and heartbreaks and sorrow; if you mean that drink the sale of which pours into Texas treasuries untold millions of dollars each year, that provides tender care for our little crippled children, our blind, our deaf, our dumb, our pitifully aged and infirm, to build the finest highways, hospitals, universi-ties, and community colleges in this nation, then my friend, I am absolute-ly, unequivocally in favor of it.

“This is my position, and as always, I refuse to compromise on matters of principle.”

Forwarded byRandolph SiplesVentura

LETTERS Page 114


When: 7 pm to 10 pmInfo: 969-8500

MONDAYS

Story Time at the LibraryWhen: 10:30 to 11 amWhere: Montecito Library, 1469 East Valley RoadInfo: 969-5063

Connections Early Memory Loss ProgramWhere: Friendship Center, 89 Eucalyptus LaneInfo: Susan Forkush, 969-0859 x15

TUESDAYS

Boy Scout Troop 33 Meeting Open to all boys ages 11-17; visitors welcomeWhen: 7:15 pmWhere: Scout House, Upper Manning Park, 449 San Ysidro Road

THURSDAYS

Pick-up Basketball GamesHe shoots; he scores! The Montecito Family YMCA is offering pick-up basketball on Thursdays at 5:30 pm. Join coach Donny for warm-up, drills and then scrimmages. Adults welcome too.When: 5:30 pmWhere: Montecito Family YMCA, 591 Santa Rosa LaneInfo: 969-3288

FRIDAYS

Farmers’ MarketWhen: 8 am to 11:15 amWhere: South side of Coast Village Road

SUNDAYS

Vintage & Exotic Car DayMotorists and car lovers from as far away as Los Angeles and as close as East Valley Road park in front of Richie’s Barber Shop at the bottom of Middle Road on Coast Village Road going west to show off and discuss their prized possessions, automotive trends and other subjects. Ferraris, Lamborghinis and Corvettes prevail, but there are plenty other autos to admire.When: 8 am to 10 am (or so)Where: 1187 Coast Village RoadInfo: [email protected] •MJ

to preserving, protecting, and enhancing the semi-rural residential character of MontecitoWhen: 4 pmWhere: Montecito Hall, 1469 East Valley Road

THURSDAY JANUARY 12

MERRAG Meeting and TrainingNetwork of trained volunteers that work and/or live in the Montecito area prepare to respond to community disaster during critical first 72 hours following an event. The mutual “self-help” organization serves Montecito’s residents with the guidance and support of the Montecito Fire, Water and Sanitary Districts. This month: flooding and winter weather preparedness.When: 10 am Where: Montecito Fire Station, 595 San Ysidro RoadInfo: Geri, 969-2537

ONGOING MONDAYS AND TUESDAYS

Art ClassesBeginning and advanced, all ages and by appt, just callWhere: Portico Gallery, 1235 Coast Village RoadInfo: 695-8850

TUESDAYS AND THURSDAYS

Adventuresome Aging Where: 89 Eucalyptus LaneInfo: 969-0859; ask for Susan

WEDNESDAYS THRU SATURDAYS

Live Entertainment at CavaWhere: Cava, 1212 Coast Village Road

SATURDAY DECEMBER 31

NYE Pops ConcertThe Santa Barbara Symphony invites the community to ring in the New Year with the New Year’s Eve Pops Concert. Special guest conductor Robert Bernhardt will energize this joyous concert celebration with the Santa Barbara Symphony as they perform toe-tapping favorites from Broadway to the Classics. The evening will also feature award-winning soprano, Mela Dailey. Party hats and noisemakers will be available for all. Come celebrate the last night of 2011 with the Santa Barbara Symphony’s New Year’s Eve Pops Concert – it’s always a sell-out! When: 8:30 pmWhere: Granada Theatre, 1214 State StreetCost: $35 to $100Tickets: 898-9386 FRIDAY JANUARY 6

Open HouseMontecito YMCA holds open house weekend for prospective members to try out the facilitiesWhen: January 6 through January 9

(If you have a Montecito event, or an event that concerns Montecito, please e-mail [email protected] or call (805) 565-1860)

Community Calendarby Kelly Mahan

Montecito Tide ChartDay Low Hgt High Hgt Low Hgt High Hgt Low Hgt

Thurs, Dec 29 1:07 AM 4.2 6:24 AM 2.4 12:07 PM 4.4 07:00 PM 0.4Fri, Dec 30 1:55 AM 4.2 7:40 AM 2.4 01:02 PM 3.7 07:40 PM 1Sat, Dec 31 2:45 AM 4.3 9:15 AM 2.3 02:22 PM 3 08:23 PM 1.6Sun, Jan 1 3:40 AM 4.5 10:54 AM 1.9 04:20 PM 2.7 09:19 PM 2Mon, Jan 2 4:30 AM 4.7 12:02 PM 1.4 06:06 PM 2.7 010:19 PM 2.3Tues, Jan 3 5:16 AM 4.9 12:49 PM 0.7 07:14 PM 2.9 011:16 PM 2.4Wed, Jan 4 5:57 AM 5.2 01:26 PM 0.3 07:59 PM 3.1 Thurs, Jan 5 12:06 AM 2.5 6:34 AM 5.4 01:59 PM -0.1 08:33 PM 3.3 Fri, Jan 6 12:48 AM 2.4 7:10 AM 5.7 02:30 PM -0.5 09:03 PM 3.5

SATURDAY DECEMBER 31

New Year’s Eve EateriesRestaurants in Montecito are preparing specials for the big night, but make sure you have reservations!Bella Vista at the Biltmore, 1260 Channel Drive, 969-2261, appetizers, five-course prix-fixe menu with champagne toast and live band, $250Stonehouse and Plow and Angel, 900 San Ysidro Lane, 565-1724, four-course menu, two seatings, $165, $220 with wine pairingsCava, 1212 Coast Village Road, 969-8500, prix-fixe dinner with champagne and live music, prices varyStella Mare’s, 50 Los Patos Way, four-course prix-fixe menu; call for price at 969-6705Lucky’s, 1270 Coast Village Road, 565-7540, reservations required Montecito Wine Bistro, 516 San Ysidro Road,

969-7520, Sparkling Wine Flights featuring Cristal are $15 per person; normal menu will be served

WEDNESDAY JANUARY 11

San Ysidro Pathway OpeningLocal community leaders, neighbors, and Montecito Union students, parents, teachers, and administrators will formally celebrate the new safe route to school pathway on San Ysidro RoadWhen: 8 am to 9 amWhere: 385 San Ysidro Road

Where: 591 Santa Rosa LaneInfo: 898-YMCA

SUNDAY JANUARY 8

Laguna Blanca Open HouseProspective students and parents are invited to tour the lower campus of Laguna Blanca school for grades K-4 When: 1 pm to 3 pmWhere: 260 San Ysidro RoadContact: [email protected]

MONDAY JANUARY 9

MBAR MeetingMontecito Board of Architectural Review seeks to ensure that new projects are harmonious with the unique physical characteristics and character of MontecitoWhen: 3 pmWhere: Country Engineering Building, Planning Commission Hearing Room, 123 E. Anapamu

TUESDAY JANUARY 10

Montecito Association Annual MeetingThe Montecito Association is committed


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Howling at the MoonI was up at 3 am on a Saturday

morning to watch this lunar eclipse. This one had to be better than the one last year, which was blocked by rain and clouds. So I was hoping for clear skies. At 5:15, I drove up to the Mission. Everything was silent. As luck would have it I was the only person out on that big lawn. That lasted about five minutes. From then on I kept hearing more people arrive, although I couldn’t see anyone. At the same time, the show was per-fect. Here’s a few photos from Friday evening moon rise and sunset. Then the eclipse, from the Mission early Saturday morning.

Daniel SeibertMontecito

LETTERS (Continued from page 9)Sunset on the eve-ning of the lunar eclipse brought forth an eerie mix of fireball red and smoky black (photo by Dan Seibert)

The scarlet sun is reflected on the moon behind the mission on the evening of the lunar eclipse (photo by Dan Seibert)


Two Montecito Rotarians took part in a humanitarian mission in the Democratic Republic

of the Congo in central Africa over the summer. Mark Magid and Dr. Victoria Bentley from Montecito, as well as a Rotaract member Courtlin Stoker, spent four weeks in the Congo doing various service projects, including building an open-air market that has the potential to service 30,000 visitors annually.

“We are very proud of the work we did,” Magid told us during a

recent interview. Dr. Bentley, a Rotary board member, began working in the Congo two years ago, when she start-ed a school, Empower Congo Women (ECW), to help young women learn to sew and embroider. The need for a covered market for women to sell their wares and trinkets became clear, as the former “market” in the village of Mumosho consisted of women sit-ting in the heavy dust during the summer or huddling together during the torrential downpours of the win-ter. “Many of these women are selling

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Congo liaison Amani Mataboro, Montecito’s Dr. Victoria Bentley, interpreter Rose, and Montecito Rotary’s Mark Magid in the Congo

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food, and the conditions are not sani-tary,” Magid explained.

With help from local liaison Amani Mataboro, Montecito Rotary was able to secure the political leverage and necessary supplies to build the 125-ft by 42-ft market. The $23,000 price tag was raised by the Montecito Rotary, as well as other Rotary clubs. The mar-ket, which holds 150 stalls for sellers, will be self sustaining, as sellers pay a small rent to use the facility. Magid says it could potentially service 30,000 people a year, as it is located in the center of many small villages. “Much pride should be taken for the work

that took place and for this market, which is a sustainable structure that will bring flourishing and hygienic open-trade and commerce for years to come,” Magid said.

While Magid oversaw the building of the market, Dr. Bentley was busy in the town of Bukavu, working at ECW. During her trip, 20 women and 10 girls graduated from the school. Stoker, a young American on a vol-unteer mission, joined the Montecito Rotarians for two weeks of the stay, teaching English classes to African children.

Montecito Rotary, of which Magid

is the head of the International Committee, is involved in other humanitarian projects in the Congo. While there this past summer, Magid was able to check up on other projects, including visiting the site of a new agriculture farm that is being used to raise seeds into seedlings, which then get distributed to local women to plant their own vegetable gardens. This helps them eliminate the need to pay for vegetables. The seeds, shov-els, and watering canisters used in the farm were paid for by Montecito Rotary grants.

“Also,” Magid explained, “We vis-

ited the site of a non-profit spon-sored Sewing Center in Mumosho, where Montecito Rotary Grant funds have helped to purchase embroidery machines,” he said. “These machines give the women an opportunity to provide a higher quality of clothing, therefore putting themselves in a strong position to be successful.”

Magid says he left Mumosho feeling great about the Rotary’s accomplish-ments. “The people there are extreme-ly grateful and proud of their new market,” he said.

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Before: local women would sell their vegetables and wares in dusty conditions After: a new open-air covered market allows sellers to get out of the elements

VILLAGE BEAT Page 244


do or see plus being able to socialize.Tony Parham gave kudos to the

Center because when she came to care for her aunt, she knew no one. The Center made them feel welcome. Her aunt’s little Maltese dog Missy frequently visits the members and will soon be a therapy dog.

There to help cut the ribbon was

Goleta’s mayor and vice president of the Friendship Center board, Roger Aceves, 2nd District County Supervisor Janet Wolf, Friendship Center board president Marty Moore, Reverend Erika Hewitt, President of Live Oaks board of trustees Carrie Topliffe, and Goleta council member and former mayor Margaret Connell.

The committee that made this event happen was Kathy Marden,

Melissa Alvarado, Karolyn Hanna and Sue Adams. Marty and Heidi want the community to know that now that there is a new facility in Goleta, it has opened up space for more attendees in Montecito and Goleta, and perhaps even those liv-ing in Carpinteria. No one is turned away due to lack of funds. Call 969-0859 if you know someone that would benefit from the Friendship Center.

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Ms Millner is the author of “The Magic Make Over, Tricks for Looking, Thinner, Younger, and More Confident – Instantly!” If you have an event that belongs in this column, you are invited to call Lynda at 969-6164.

Seen Around Town by Lynda Millner

Friendship Center Ribbon-Cutting

The Friendship Center in Montecito has opened an additional facility in Goleta

and there was an open house and a ribbon-cutting to celebrate the new digs. The new building is located just north of Cathedral Oaks on Fairview and is shared with the Live Oak Congregation, much as they do in Montecito with All Saints By-The-Sea.

Wine, tapas and a harpist added

to the ambience. Executive Director Heidi Holly told the group, “The real heroes of the Friendship Center are the family caregivers. The num-ber one priority of the elderly is to remain at home as long as possible. That is our purpose.” The Friendship Center gives the caregiver a respite. The Center will pick up your loved one and keep them all day in a healthy surrounding with interesting things to

Margaret Connell, Heidi Holly, Carrie Topliffe, Roger Aceves, Marty Moore, Reverend Erika Hewitt and Janet Wolf all helping cut the ribbon at the new Goleta Friendship Center

The Friendship Center Goleta committee for the ribbon cutting ceremony, Kathy Marden, Melissa Alvarado and Karolyn Hanna

Toni Parham with her aunt’s dog Missy – who will soon become a therapy dog – at the ribbon cut-ting party for the Friendship Center in Goleta

Executive Director of Friendship Center Heidi Holly with Goleta mayor Roger Aceves and board presi-dent Marty Moore at the new location

29 December 2011 – 5 January 2012 MONTECITO JOURNAL 15Action may not always bring happiness, but there is no happiness without action – Benjamin Disraeli

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Mental Health MattersThe Mental Health Association

(MHA) in Santa Barbara County packed the El Paseo Restaurant with supporters for their fundraiser lun-cheon. Board President Nancy Chase welcomed all and showed us slides of the Mental Health Arts Festival. The artists were all mentally challenged and they loved the opportunity to shine with their art.

As lunch was served, the Executive Director Annmarie Cameron told of the three areas of the MHA’s programs. The first is recovery, where the ill need a safe place to live, a job and rela-tionships. One of these places where MHA can be very proud is the 70-unit Garden street apartments for the men-tally ill and low income. I was at the opening and the facilities are lovely.

My table Captain Shandra Campbell told me, “My daughter has a place there and she loves it. Especially the fellowship club on the main floor.” There they can socialize as well as take all sorts of classes.

The second program is education so the stigma of mental illness can be broken. There is a 6th-grade pro-gram that is presently in 14 schools where 500 kids each year learn that mental health matters. As Karlise L. (age 11) from Monte Vista School says, “It made me realize that people with mental health disorders deserve respect.” And Kelsey W explains, “It made me think. I will always make sure that I treat people with disorders like everyone else and I won’t even think about them being different.”

The third program is recreation and education. Research indicates that one in four families is affected by mental health problems and they are more common than cancer or heart disease.

Ramona Winner, who is a parent of an MHA client, shared the tearful story of her son who began having mental health issues as a teen. He couldn’t stand to be touched, so she couldn’t even hug him. Fortunately they met with MHA. He’s now 25 and with medication is able to keep the negative voices away.

Lynn Sarko, an MHA volunteer, introduced the Mental Wellness Giving Society. He explained, “Our funds were cut by fifty percent in 2009 so there is more need than ever for public support.” Table captains col-lected many envelopes with signed pledge cards inside.

Toni Amorteguy, Laurie Ashton, Tracy Beard, Annmarie Cameron, Nancy Chase, Patricia Collins, George Kaufmann, Ann Lippincott and Lynn Sarko put the event togeth-er. They want people to know MHA’s mantra is “Creating Hope Through Understanding.”

Holiday CelebrationAntioch University Santa Barbara

(AUSB) took over the University Club so that alumni and friends could cele-brate, engage and reunite. The affable president Nancy Leffert, PhD greeted everyone. When we commented on the good wine, she grinned broadly and said, “My son, Jeremy, made that.

Board president of the Mental Health Association Nancy Chase with executive director Annmarie Cameron and Dr. Ann Lippincott at the fundraiser luncheon

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He’s a winemaker for Hearst Ranch Winery.” I was surprised to learn that there is a tasting room across from the castle in the Sebastian store.

Some of the folks enjoying Jeremy’s wine were Joe Medjuck, John and Mary Romo, Deborah Schwartz, Mary Ellen Tiffany (Antioch trustee), Steve Caputo and Allan Ghitterman.

Nancy spoke briefly to the guests, explaining, “We just moved into our new building at 602 Anacapa Street in October. The new campus dedication will be on March 15, 2012. There is a new vitality and we got a matching grant of $500,000. Every dollar given will be doubled into one million dol-lars.” The three-story, 28,000 square-foot campus also has large patios and courtyards with space for everyone.

Antioch has an interesting histori-

cal snapshot. Horace Mann, its first president, founded it in Ohio in 1852. The learning model blended practi-cal work experience with classroom learning. It was the first college in the United States to grant a tenured pro-fessorship to a woman and the first to offer the same curriculum to male and female students. It was one of the first coeducational colleges and one of the first white colleges to eliminate race as an admission requirement, even recruiting black students.

There are five campuses spread across the United States. In addition, there are 5,000 online adult students. AUSB has 4,000 alumni and there are 30,000 cumulative AU grads. For more information, call 962-8179 ext. 5176 or check out www.antiochsb.edu/sup port. •MJ

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SEEN (Continued from page 15)

Antioch University Santa Barbara chair of the board Victoria Riskin, President Nancy Leffert, PhD and trustee Bob Kupiec, who was the architect of the new campus renovation

Hannah Beth Jackson and acting superintendent-president of Santa Barbara City College, Jack Friedlander, PhD at the Antioch Christmas party


“But how is Santa going to find us, Daddy?”

It was a reasonable question given the circumstances.

Both girls looked up at me sheepish-ly, with a certain innocent desperation that perhaps only exists in little girls wearing pajamas and getting ready for bed. Sort of sad puppy-dog meets Cindy Lou Who. I had to think fast.

“Well… we’ll send him a letter. Just like we would back in California.”

“But Daddy,” Lily carefully consid-ered, “you keep saying we are in the middle of the jungle in Thailand.” (Damn that homeschooling.) “How will Santa get our letter?”

I was a litigator for some fairly sophisticated clients for a good num-ber of years, effectively trained to think clearly and remain calm on my feet while under pressure. But we’d been traveling for six months and I was emphatically not in what you might have called top form.

So I panicked.

“Don’t worry you guys,” I stam-mered, “Mommy and I will figure something out.”

Lily was right, of course. We’d been

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Leaving It All Behind

A Christmas Story

by Matt Mazza

Lily and Kate find a buffalo skull on a hike on the banks of the Lang River in the middle of the jungle near the Thai-Burma border

Matt was a lawyer up until June 2011, when he closed up shop and left Montecito with his wife and kids to travel around the world. Read his (and his family's) full story in the newest edition of the Montecito Journal (glossy edition), on newsstands now.

LEAVING Page 354


that doesn’t exist and then deliver something that is meaningful, you can create a big business. CNBC did it. We think we can do it with OWN.”

Stay tuned...

Romance Rekindling They’ve hardly been together in

recent months, kept apart by busy work schedules, leading to much speculation about the state of their marriage.

But Santa Barbara warbler Katy Perry and British comedian Russell Brand are planning a romantic trip back to where they tied the knot in a bid to spice up their relationship.

The tony twosome are said to be returning to India, where they were married more than a year ago.

Brand, who has been working on back-to-back film projects since the summer, has reportedly booked a hol-iday to the Aman New Delhi Hotel in the New Year to get their marriage back on track.

Meanwhile, Katy has been traveling around the globe on her “California Dreams” tour.

Watch this space...

Busted MovesSanta Barbara Revels’ Bavarian

Celebration of the Winter Solstice at the Lobero had an unexpected addi-tion to the colorful cast when yours truly was chosen from the audience, along with two other hapless ‘vic-tims,’ to try our hands at Schuhplattler dancing.

Literally meaning “shoeslapper,” dancers, dressed in their lederhosen, rhythmically slap their thighs, knees and shoes to music in three quarter time.

After the briefest of demonstrations, we were left to our own devices to thoroughly embarrass ourselves in front of a much amused audience.

For our efforts, St. Nicholas, wicked-ly played by UCSB drama professor, Simon Williams, presented us with lumps of coal, a souvenir to treasure.

This was the fourth annual event under founder and producer Susan

Keller, with Ken Ryals as the very capable music director and Maggie Mixsell running the stage.

One of the highlights is the singing of The Twelve Days of Christmas, with a full cast of young audience members acting out the various char-acters, under the amusing direction of Ryals.

Great fun, but I feel, after my decid-edly feeble efforts on stage, Dancing with the Stars won’t be calling me any time soon!..

Attitude ReconstructionIt took 21 years for Montecito fam-

ily therapist Jude Bijou to write her first book Attitude Reconstruction.

Jude, whose late father was a pio-neering behavioral child psycholo-gist at universities in Washington, Arizona and Illinois, says it took so long because “I wanted to make an order of things.”

“I went to India in 1972 to study meditation and worked with transcen-dental meditation with the Maharishi, who famously worked with the Beatles, in France and Switzerland in the seventies. I also visited an ash-ram in the 1990s, but I didn’t find the answers I needed. Meditating cer-tainly helped as I got glimpses of myself... I certainly had pure good experiences.”

Jude, who threw a small launch bash at Tecolote, the bustling biblio-phile bastion in the Upper Village, says her 320-page tome is a guide to going from sadness, anger and fear to joy, love and peace in less than five minutes.

A quick fix, indeed...

Royally Close QuartersChristmas would appear to

have been decidedly cramped for Queen Elizabeth and her family at Sandringham House, her Majesty’s stately pile in Norfolk in the east of England.

The 20,000 acre estate was bought by Queen Victoria for her son, the future King Edward VII, and the mon-arch traditionally spends Yuletide and the New Year there.

With a record 27 royals staying there this year, one of the biggest gather-ings of the Royal Family in decades, it caused a major headache for staff at the Jacobean-style mansion, with roy-als at the “lower end” of the pecking

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MISCELLANy Page 284

MISCELLANy (Continued from page 7)

guidance and often drops by to see how I’m doing when he’s not at Café Del Sol,” adds Ivan, who graduated from San Marcos High School and attended City College.

The perfect pairing...

Stick With HerDespite disappointing ratings and

increased costs, Oprah Winfrey’s year-old eponymous cable chan-nel, OWN, still has the backing of Discovery Communications honcho, David Zaslav, who is asking viewers to give it time to establish its footing.

“My job, Oprah’s job, is to create a meaningful audience for OWN over the next two years,” he told a media conference in New York. “That’s what you should watch for and I think

we’re on our way.”Discovery launched OWN last

January amid much fanfare, but despite a big ratings gain in its first week – it averaged 505,000 viewers – viewing figures since then have been a ratings disappointment.

In November, according to Nielsen Media Research, prime-time total viewers were down 16 percent from 240,000 to 202,000, and women 25-54 declined three percent from 78,000 to 76,000. Total day viewers were down 22 percent from 144,000 to 113,000 and women 25-54 were off eight percent from 48,000 to 44,000.

The network has also been costly.Discovery committed $189 million in

funding for the network at its launch, but as of September, its investment in OWN had ballooned to $254 million, according to financial statements.

Zaslav says advertisers remain sup-portive of Oprah and her network.

“We’re just getting going,” he says. “They’re excited about the mission. If you can create a network in a niche

Alfredo Arroyo with his restaurateur son, Ivan, outside the Las Aves Café

Oprah’s cable TV channel gets full back-ing from Discovery

Katy Perry and Russell Brand to rekindle romance on India trip

Jude Bijou’s 21 year book project


point of fracture.”Other possible uses of the Osteoprobe

include better and easier diagnosis of soft tissue pathologies. Sometimes, for example, when a surgeon wants to do a knee surgery and there’s some scarring from a previous injury or surgery, the surgeon would like some way to mea-sure the properties of the scar so they’d know if this was something that would heal or whether they have to call in a plastic surgeon to do a skin graft.

“In breast cancer, of course, the tissue stiffens, you look for bumps; you have hardening of the arteries, plaques that build up in various places in the body, and you have the whole problem of car-tilage going bad. There’s a lot of tissue mechanical properties” Hansma sug-gests, “that would be worth measuring in addition to bone material strength, so we’re starting to look at some of those.”

Later, Dr. Hansma makes his pitch to the small group assembled: “I’m an inventor; I like to be in the lab,” he says somewhat apologetically, “but right now what with the Mayo Clinic wanting an instrument and then in Europe, Adolfo Perez wants to do a ten-center eight-country study; we need to have ten instruments that are all the same and we’d like to have a made-in-a-standardized-manufacturing facility so that we could get the European equivalent of FDA approval of these instruments.”

The company needs the money to finance the construction of a batch of instruments made in a certified facility and also to make an important fix to the BioDent instrument before they make any more of them. “The demand is huge,” says Hansma.

In case someone wants to contribute to this effort, they should contact: activelifescientific.com, or call Davis Brimer at: 805-624-5633. •MJ

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EDITORIAL (Continued from page 5)

Dr. Paul Hansma demonstrates the use of his lat-est invention, the Osteoprobe during an informal gathering at the home of Lad Handelman

bone community,” according to Dr. Hansma – came up to him and said he too believed that bone material properties were very important for fracture resis-tance, but that those properties were clinically irrelevant.

Hansma disagreed, but Perez explained that since there was no way to mea-sure bone material properties in a living human, there was no way to diagnose a patient, consequently no way to develop a course of treatment.

Currently, doctors measure the extent of osteoporosis by looking for bone loss. “That’s just half the problem; the other half of the problem,” Hansma sug-gests, “may be this bone material property.” He figured it was not only a ques-tion of how much bone one has, but also how good the material properties of the bone are. Right now, the medical profession is only able to deal with bone loss. All of the diagnoses, all the therapy, is focused on how to recreate bone mass. “Until now,” Dr. Hansma says, “there’s been no way to measure its material properties, whether the bone is supple or brittle.”

He took it as a challenge to develop such an instrument, because, he says, “I like to build instruments.” Twenty-two prototypes later, he has one. “It took a couple of years trying to think about how you would measure the bone mate-rial properties inside a human. You can’t cut out test bits and mount them in your test apparatus,” he says, half-jokingly. “But then, an idea came to me and started me on a path.”

That path began with a trip to a supermarket where he bought two soup bones. “I baked one in the oven to degrade the organic molecules so that it would be more easily fractured. I verified that it was; then I said, okay, I’ve got good bone, bad bone. Now, what could I do to distinguish good bone from bad bone that would be possible in a patient? The first thing that worked was an automatic center punch. They work in creating a pilot hole. You press down and they go ‘pop,’ and make a little indent. At any rate, what I noticed was that it would make a bigger indent in the bone that was more easily fractured. Which makes sense, because the tip went in further. And then, I thought, well we couldn’t do that because you couldn’t see the indent you made anyway.”

Eventually, Dr. Hansma determined that if he had a hypodermic needle that went down through the skin and if the outside of the needle rested on the sur-face of the bone, the probe could go down the center of it. Then, the probe could make a little indent and could measure how far into the bone he was going, creating a “reference point indentation.”

The OsteoprobeThat ended up working very well. In clinical trials, it turned out it could dis-

tinguish between the bone of patients who have bone fractures and the bone of age-matched patients who did not have fractures but were in hospital for other reasons.

Dr. Hansma is an old-school inventor-researcher, and so had the test done to himself “about a hundred times by now. I’ve been tested with four different instruments along the way. The first one we made worked,” he explains, “but it was hard for physicians to use. It had to be kept stationary for ten seconds over the patient’s leg. You can’t hand-hold it, you needed to have a special arm coming across it, so you have to wheel a pretty big thing into the patient’s room and set up this arm to lift down this scary-looking thing with a needle at the end of it. It was just cumbersome.”

Additionally, the team wanted to examine horses’ bones, and horses won’t stand still.

They went back to the drawing board and came up with a new instrument called an Osteoprobe that takes just one-thousandth of a second for the mea-surement, so nobody has to stay still.

The earlier instrument is called the Bio Dent, suitable for small animal stud-ies; the Osteoprobe needs a bigger bone, such as that for a human.

Word is getting out. The Mayo Clinic, for example, wants one to help deter-mine if the material strength of the bones of people with diabetes is worse than the bones of people without diabetes, and if that’s why diabetics get so many more bone fractures.

In Norway, researcher Erik Erickson wants to see if poor bone material strength is the reason why Norwegians have twice the fracture rate of Spaniards (and Americans), even though they have the same bone mineral density.

Several hundred people have been tested in Norway, in Barcelona, and in Oregon. “The Osteoprobe was only invented last year. To have it going into clinical trials one year later is pretty amazing, but it shows the need for this instrument,” observes Dr. Hansma.

Animal studies are taking place to try to understand how to improve bone material strength. Horses are the biggest example of that. People would like to sell supplements to improve the bone strength of horses, and until now, there’s been no way of knowing if those supplements work; the only way of determin-ing that after the fact was fractures. “Now, you’ll be able to feed them various things and measure them again and see if it works, and you don’t have the end


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What does a busy mom and wife who likes to cook do with her free time when

(and if) she has some? If she were Katie Koonce, she might write a blog about her life as a mother and highlight her favorite recipes. Katie, a self-professed foodie, initially posted all her recipes on her family blog, and then noticed they were being viewed by many others and not just family members. To maintain the privacy of her family, she launched Epicureanmom.com, a public blog to highlight her love of food, along with her love of photography and most importantly, her love of motherhood.

Katie, along with her sister, Sara Dorman, was born and raised in Santa Barbara and attended Dos Pueblos High School. Their father, Dr. John Dorman, was an ER sur-geon and currently operates the Test America Medical Center in Santa Barbara. “Although my father ’s vocation was in medicine, his avo-cation, which also turned into a peripheral vocation, was photogra-

phy. I learned my photography skills from my father. I photograph all my food on my blog,” enthused Katie. She learned how to cook by being her mom’s helper in the kitchen. On some days her mother would come home to dozens of cookies, all made by a young Katie.

Katie met and married her husband,

Life•Style

Meet The Epicurean Mom

Lilly resides in Montecito with her husband, Read, daughter Teddy, and furry, four-legged companion, Moxie

by Lilly Tam Cronin

Dr. Bill Koonce, an internist, and the couple now have two daughters: Kyla, five years old, and Lola, fifteen months old.

Katie reflects that becoming a moth-er has forced her to cook more health-ful foods. “We grow food in our gar-den and my kids can see the process of food coming from our garden onto their plate. It also makes them want to eat the food too,” she adds. If they couldn’t grow it, she and her husband have been known to actually scat-ter fruit for their daughters to find. Katie’s first experiences in the kitchen with her mother were so enjoyable that her desire is to give her daugh-ters the same sense of enjoyment by involving them in the cooking process.

Katie’s Macaroni & Cheese

Katie puts extra effort into prepar-ing healthy meals for her family using organic and local fruits and vegetables. But what about the less-healthy com-fort foods? She understands that kids will want macaroni and cheese. Rather than making it from a box, however, she writes in her blog how to make it more healthful by using fresh cheese, crisped breadcrumbs and baking it all in a casserole dish. “It’s actually as easy as making it from a box, but defi-nitely better for you and much tastier,” says Katie. “Macaroni and cheese,” she adds, “is one of those dishes that doesn’t need exact measurements. I just eyeball the ingredients and add or delete as preferred. The handful of breadcrumbs makes it more hearty and gives it texture; bake it in the oven for about twenty minutes at three-hun-dred and twenty-five degrees and you get a grownup macaroni and cheese that kids will devour too.”

Desserts are Katie’s favorite dishes to make and photograph. Her family and friends have all benefited from her enthusiastic experimenting of dessert recipes. A blog favorite has been her adaptation of Chef Tyler Florence of Food Network’s Blueberry Cheesecake Lemon bars. Its main ingredients were her family’s favorite fruits, but it was too complicated to make. She decided to tweak it and simplify it so it would suit moms who want to make a quick and easy dessert. “I take advantage of Santa Barbara’s local fresh fruit avail-ability and use fresh organic blueber-ries. I usually get most of my fresh fruit and vegetables from Lazy Acres,” explains Katie.

As she continues to update Epicureanmom.com, Katie is also in the middle of designing and rebuild-ing their home that was burned down by the Jesusita Fire. They have moved close to a dozen times since the fire. Despite the many moves and the vari-ety of kitchens, she still finds the time and motivation to make healthful and

appetizing meals for her family and continues to blog about it.

You will find on her blog that her recipes are categorized by: small bites, salads, soups, entrées, desserts, refreshments and wine. With easy-to-read menus and photographs of the finished product, readers can grab the ingredients the same day as postings.

Epicurean Mom’s Lemon Blueberry Cheesecake barsButter, for greasing 2 tablespoons sugar 1/8 tablespoon ground cinnamon 9 graham crackers 1/2 stick unsalted butter, melted For the Filling: 16 ounces cream cheese, room tem-perature 2 eggs 2 lemons, zested and juiced ½ cup sugar 1 ½ cups fresh blueberries

Directions: For the Base: Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Grease the bottom of a 9 by 9-inch baking pan with butter. Then place parch-ment paper over the top, pressing down at the corners. In a food pro-cessor, process the sugar, cinnamon and graham crackers until you have the consistency of breadcrumbs. Add the melted butter and pulse a couple of times to fully incorporate. Pour into the lined baking pan and firmly pat down with the bottom of a glass. Bake for about 12 minutes, or until set.

For the filling: Add cream cheese, eggs, lemon zest, lemon juice, and sugar to the food processor and pulse until well combined. It should have a smooth consistency. Pour onto the cooked graham cracker base and then sprin-kle with blueberries. They will sink slightly but should be half exposed. Bake in the oven for 35-45 minutes, or until the center only slightly jiggles. Remove from the oven and cool com-pletely before refrigerating for at least 3 hours. Once set, remove from pan using the parchment lining and slice into 10 rectangular bars. •MJ

Katie Koonce, the Epicurean Mom, combines her love of food and family in her blog, which high-lights healthy recipes and colorful photos

The end result: Epicurean Mom’s lemon blueberry cheesecake bars


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Don’t Bury Their Memorystory by Lynn P. Kirst

TRAIL TALK

A museum and travel professional, community volun-teer, and lifelong equestrienne, Lynn Kirst is a

fourth-generation Californian who grew up in Montecito; she can often be found riding or hiking the local trails

Don’t bury me in this prairieTake me where the cement growsLet’s move down to some big town Where they love a gal by the cut o’ her clothesAnd I’ll stand outIn buttons and bows*

•••

“Buttons and Bows,” a popular tune with music by Jay Livingston and lyrics by Jay Evans, was sung by Bob Hope (1903-2003) in the 1947 film “Paleface,” also starring Jane Russell. It won the Academy Award that year for Best Song. It was again used in the sequel, “Son of Paleface,” when Jane Russell and Roy Rogers sang it, with comic interjections by Bob Hope.

•••

It’s that time of year again, one that comes around all too soon. It has become my tradition to make the last “Trail Talk” column of the calendar year a roundup of remembrance for folks who “left the trail” over the last twelve months. Inclusion in this col-umn is for those who were in some way tied to the world whose qualities I espouse: either through horses or trails or simply because they influ-enced those interested in the Western way of life. No doubt this list is incom-plete, but the following people deserve our special remembrance.

James Arness (1923-2011)Although his name was James

Auerness when he was born in Minneapolis, Minnesota, most people remember him as Marshall Matt Dillon on the long-running television series “Gunsmoke.” The role was initially offered to John Wayne (1907-1979), but Wayne rejected it and recommended Arness instead, supposedly telling his friend, “Go ahead and take it, Jim. You’re too big for pictures. Guys like Gregory Peck and I don’t want a big lug like you towering over us.”

Arness (who changed the spelling

natural causes, leaving a wife, two sons and six grandchildren.

Clark Beckstead (1948-2011)

Santa Barbara’s most popular far-rier, Clark Beckstead, died suddenly at the age of 63 doing what he liked best. It was a Monday – March 14 – and Clark was just starting to shoe his fourth horse of the morning when he collapsed and died, ostensibly of a heart attack. Clark’s sudden death was a terrible shock to the Santa Barbara horse community, where he had many friends and clients.

Clark Beckstead was born on a hay and dairy farm in Riverton, Utah, the second of eight children. He achieved the rank of Eagle Scout and was a member of Future Farmers of America, before enlisting in the U.S. Navy and completing a tour of duty aboard the U.S.S. Ajax during the Vietnam War. After attending Oklahoma’s Farrier College, he established his horseshoe-ing business in Santa Barbara. Over the course of 35 years, Clark gained a reputation as being a particularly gift-ed farrier, helping many horses with specialized foot and leg problems. He was a contributor to the book enti-tled “Equine Podiatry,” and served as a farrier for the Japanese Olympic equestrian team in 1996 and 1997.

Clark will always be remembered as one of the founders of Equine Evac, after helping to rescue dozens of horses during Santa Barbara’s Painted Cave Fire in 1990, as well as a faithful supporter of Old Spanish Days Fiesta Rodeo and the Santa Barbara Riding Club. His wife, Karen, and three chil-dren survive him.

Jo Couch (1942-2011)Another person who died doing

what she loved best was Jo Couch, who left this world while riding her horse at home on her own ranch in Los Alamos. Jo’s many friends (myself included) are still mentally “scolding” her for heading out on a trail ride on January 25 without her cell phone in her pocket, which would have pre-

vented a simple accident from turning into a fatality.

Jo was a California native, born in Los Angeles and raised between Palm Springs and Catalina Island. As smart as she was beautiful, Jo studied at UC Berkeley and UCLA, where she also earned her M.A. in Education. For the next 24 years, she taught French in the Beverly Hills school system.

Jo and her husband, Jeff, established their ranch home in Los Alamos nine years ago, where they hosted many friends and trail rides. Jo was an active member of The Fillies, a local wom-en’s invitational riding group. She was also a painter, pianist, avid reader and adventurous outdoorswoman. In addition to her husband and son, Jo leaves behind a large extended family and numerous friends who still miss her every day.

Hattie Feazelle (1911-2011)

September 11, or 9/11 as it’s com-monly referred to, has now taken on additional significance, as it’s the date that Hattie Feazelle went to the great “Fiesta in the Sky.” Hattie’s passing after a short two-day illness occurred just a little over a month after she served as Grand Marshal in the 87th annual Old Spanish Days Fiesta Parade. The only centenarian on this year’s list, Hattie witnessed amazing things during the 100 years of her life. She was already 30 years old when the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor!

Hattie, a beloved local horsewoman,

TRAIL TALK Page 304

of his last name to accommodate show business) was indeed a “big lug,” standing 6’7” in height. His younger brother, Peter Graves (1926-2010), also enjoyed a successful television run in “Mission Impossible.”

Arness earned a Purple Heart in World War II when he was wound-ed in the leg during the invasion of Anzio, Italy in 1944. After a year in the hospital, he eventually made his way to California where he worked his way into the movies. After small roles in nearly twenty films, he hit the jackpot with “Gunsmoke.” From 1955 to 1975, Marshall Dillon kept the peace in Dodge City, along with other memorable characters such as Miss Kitty (the saloon keeper played by Amanda Blake) and his deputy, Chester Goode (played by Dennis Weaver). Arness died at age 88 from

James Arness, in his “Gunsmoke” role of Marshal Matt Dillon

Local farrier Clark Beckstead plying his trade

Hattie Feazelle, who participated in every parade since 1924, will always be known as the “Queen of Fiesta”

Jo Couch, whose untime-ly death leaves a hole in the hearts of her many friends

29 December 2011 – 5 January 2012 MONTECITO JOURNAL 23A man who has been the indisputable favorite of his mother keeps for life the feeling of a conqueror – Sigmund Freud

If you use sales figures as a standard for making comparisons, it is fair to claim that a successful

author does not necessarily have an agreeable, compelling prose style. The mystery-suspense writer, James Lee Burke, gives lie to this thesis, but mystery-suspense writers Michael Connolly and Patricia Cornwell bear it out with some regularity.

Back in the reaches of time, when I was head of the West Coast office of a major mass market reprint publisher, I had the opportunity to persuade another such writer – big on story and sales, only so-so on narrative style – to leave his then publisher in order to join us. Louis L’Amour has been dead since 1988. Nevertheless, his works continue to sell in the tens and hundreds of millions of copies. In addition to learning L’Amour’s enormous loyalty to his publisher, I learned the following: “Most writ-ers,” he told me, “even those whose works enjoy brisk sales, begin their stories too soon.”

By this, he meant the need to explain, supply backstory and moti-vational data. My subsequent experi-ences as editor, teacher, and reviewer well validate L’Amour’s thesis. The results often produce the kind of book you will never hear about in blurb or review, “the put-down-able book.”

Unless.Unless you happen to chance upon

the latest work of Ian Rankin or, hearing that he has formally parted with his longtime detective protago-nist, John Rebus, you were curious to see where he could possibly go after having for so long been the standard to which writers of any genre are held.

In The Impossible Dead, Ian Rankin gives us the opportunity to discover whether there can be life after John Rebus, if it has any chance at all of making us want to revisit the streets of Edinburgh, and if he has in any way begun to become repetitious or come apart at the stylistic seams.

Rankin introduced us to Malcolm Fox, an Edinburgh cop who, were he with an American police force, would be considered that extreme outsider characterized by Internal Affairs. In The Complaints, his entry into the even darker world of who’s investigating the investigators, Rankin gives us another character whose status and experience reflect the scars and genomes of contempo-rary living.

The Impossible Dead begins with an apparently ho-hum Internal Affairs Department investigation of dirty and compromised cops in Kirkcaldy, a smallish town in Fife, perhaps an hour’s drive from Edinburgh.

The term “Complaints,” was already outdated. “Complaints and Conduct had been their official title until recently. Now they were sup-posed to be Professional Ethics and Standards. Next year they’d be some-thing else again: the name Standards and Values had been mooted, to nobody’s liking. They were The Complaints, the cops who investi-gated other cops. Which was why those other cops were never happy to see them.”

Let’s get this out of the way quick-ly: Rankin’s characters come off as persnickety and stubborn as long-haired cat fur on a dark sweater. Even the most menial or shadowy has some outstanding presence and symbiosis with the others you scarce-ly find outside of an acting ensemble. Rankin’s cops reflect the age, gender, and culture specifics you’d expect to find – and do find – anywhere, thus

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BOOK TALK by Shelly Lowenkopf

Leader of the Pack

they impinge upon your awareness while Malcolm Fox leads his team of two into all the places they are least welcomed, most suspected.

One cop in particular, Detective Paul Carter, has been accused of mis-conduct. His uncle, Alan Carter, once on the force but now retired, was the one to bring charges against his nephew. Then there’s Teresa Collins, who pressed the charges against Paul Carter. When Fox and his men go to interview her: “She spun away from the window. ‘What if I say it’s all a lie? I made it up to get him into bother?’”

Soon Teresa Collins has a major

meltdown, attempting suicide. Soon thereafter, Alan Carter, uncle of the suspected dirty cop and a man Fox had come to like, is dead of appar-ent suicide. Both these events are the equivalent of Yo-Yo Ma essaying a ukulele concerto. Even among ama-teurs, suicides in mysteries are never what they seem. In Rankin narratives, they are rich, speculative themes.

In fact, all in The impossible Dead are themes, resonant and search-ing, seeking resolution. “Fox hadn’t encountered too much violence or tragedy during his years on the force. A few drunken fights to break up when he’d been in uniform; a couple of bad murder cases in CID. Part of the appeal of the Complaints had been its focus on rules broken rather

than bones, on cops who crossed the line but were not violent men. Did that make him a coward? He didn’t think so. Less of a copper? Again, no. But it was in his nature to avoid con-frontation, or ensure it didn’t well up in the first place – which was why he felt he had failed with Teresa Collins. Every moment of his time with her could have been played differently, and with better outcome.”

Interesting to speculate whether Rankin could have “sold” this begin-ning to The Impossible Dead without the enormous effect of the 19 Rebus novels before it. I’d vote a resound-ing yes. Malcolm Fox takes us into

a police station, which is symbolism enough on its own. He shows us the immediacy of opposition to inquiry, which is going on about us on so many levels throughout the world as this is written. He presents us with conspiracy theories, hidden agendas, paranoia as evangelism, and evan-gelism as paranoia. He – Fox – and his creator are given to thinking in sentences that require semicolons, of itself a serious no-no for the copy-editor of this newspaper and one literary agent/former editor in Hope Ranch.

Malcolm Fox and Ian Rankin make us care; they cause us to turn the pages of The Impossible Dead slowly, with deliberation, to make sure we have not missed a single nuance. •MJ

Even among amateurs, suicides in mysteries are never what they seem. In Rankin narratives, they are

rich, speculative themes.

Ian Rankin’s most recent thriller, The Impossible Dead, strays away from his usual protagonist and instead focuses on Inspector Malcolm Fox from the Office of Complaints and Conduct


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SHERIFF’S BLOTTER

Theft From Auto on Butterfly LaneFriday, 9 December, 12:15 pm – Deputy DeOrnellas was dispatched to Butterfly

Lane to investigate a burglary report. The deputy contacted the victim, who reported her that vehicle was broken into the night before. The victim last saw her vehicle at 6 pm the previous day when she left it locked. She returned to her vehicle at 10:30 am on December 9 and discovered the driver’s side door was open. The victim noticed that her company gas card and company “fleet card” were missing from the vehicle. DeOrnellas dusted the vehicle for prints and picked up a set from the driver and passenger side doors; the prints were submitted to a forensics team for processing. A report was taken.

Residential Burglary on Hill RoadWednesday, 14 December, 9:35 pm – Deputy McSkimming was dispatched

to a studio apartment on Hill Road based on report of a burglary. When McSkimming arrived at the residence, the deputy contacted the victim who reported several valuable items missing from her home; items include a flat screen TV, desktop computer, and ladies’ wrist watch. The victim told the dep-uty that she left her home at 1:30 pm that day, and returned from work at 9:30 pm when she discovered the burglary. McSkimming observed that the suspect entered the residence from an open bathroom window. A report was taken.

Public Intoxication and Possession of CocaineSaturday, 17 December, 11:50 pm – Deputy Bordon was patrolling San Ysidro

Road when a man was seen standing in the northbound lane; Bordon contacted the man to investigate. When the deputy approached, there was a strong odor of alcohol coming from the man. Bordon observed that the man’s speech was “thick and slurred,” and that the man could not stand without swaying from side to side. Based on the man’s signs of public intoxication, Bordon placed him under arrest. Bordon transported him to Santa Barbara County Jail, where the Custody Deputy found a small folded piece of paper containing a white powder in the man’s pants’ pocket. Bordon identified the substance as cocaine. A report was taken.

Fine Jewelry Stolen in SummerlandSunday, 18 December, 7:11 pm – Deputy McSkimming was dispatched to a resi-

dence on Shelby Street regarding a burglary. Upon arriving at the home, the dep-uty contacted the victim, who reported several pieces of fine jewelry stolen. The victim told McSkimming she last saw her jewelry on December 12; she noticed the items missing on December 18. On December 15, the victim told McSkimming that she left her residence unlocked for a brief time at 9 pm. McSkimming noticed there was not any sign of forced entry into the victim’s home. There were $2,150 worth of items taken from the victim’s home. A report was taken. •MJ

Montecito Rotary will continue with projects in the Congo, Magid says. There is talk about joining forces with the local government to bring water to the village of Mumosho, a project Magid, a Santa Barbara contractor, says is feasible.

Montecito Rotary meets once a week. The community service-based club has 42 members with a dozen board members. For more informa-tion, visit www.montecitorotary.org.

MERRAG to Celebrate 25 years

As 2011 winds to a close, Montecito Emergency Response and Recovery Action Group (MERRAG) recently discussed their accomplishments over the last year at their annual meet-ing. Phyllis Marble, president of MERRAG, filled us in on the latest MERRAG news, as well as what the group’s goals are for 2012.

MERRAG is a network of trained volunteers prepared to respond to a community disaster during the first 72 hours following an event. The year 2012 marks the group’s 25th year of service, which Marble says is a big accomplishment. “We are looking for-ward to celebrating,” she said. Over the last year, MERRAG has certified several people as nationally-recog-nized disaster service workers, and

the group participated in several train-ing and alert exercises to test their skills. They also completed build-ing a garage storage facility for their response van, located on the grounds of Montecito Water District.

Marble says MERRAG’s 25th anni-versary will bring high expectations from Montecito residents. It is the group’s collective hope that all homes in Montecito will have an emergency kit, as well as an exit plan in case of emergency. Marble also noted the importance of having a battery-oper-ated radio, to get the latest emergen-cy information from Montecito Fire Protection District’s AM station 1380.

Next year, MERRAG will be on the lookout for new volunteers to run the operations center and be in the field during emergencies. Currently there are 30 fully-trained MERRAG members, who in an emergency can assist local agencies. Fifteen MERRAG members are partially trained. “There are several levels of involvement,” Marble said, explaining there are doz-ens of other MERRAG members who are kept abreast in emergencies but are not trained volunteers.

Marble says the threat of wild-fires, earthquakes, windy weather and other emergent conditions keeps MERRAG’s importance to Montecito intact. “We hope the Montecito com-munity knows and respects our group, and has confidence in our training,” she said.

For more information about MERRAG’s 25th year, as well as what you can do to get involved, go to www.merrag.com. •MJ

Dr. Bentley gives a diploma to a gradu-ate of her ECW school

VILLAGE BEAT (Continued from page 13)


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It was the case of a 6-year-old Honduran boy with a wide grin and retinoblastoma, an inherited

cancerous tumor in the eye, which really affected Dr. Dante Pieramici, who happens to be my husband. The child’s sister had died two years prior of the same disease, and Dante, a vitreoretinal surgeon with 20 years’ experience knew all too well that, if left untreated, this boy would die of the same illness. In the U.S., 98% of the treated children survive.

This was just one of many cases that Dante, a partner of California Retina Consultants, evaluated during a recent humanitarian retina surgery mission to El Progresso, Honduras. Accompanied by Melvin Rabena, research director of California Retina

Research Foundation (CRRF), and traveling on behalf of Surgical Eye Expeditions (SEE) International and CRRF, he traveled to Centro Cristiano de Servicios Humanitario de Honduras (CCSHH) health clinic in an effort to expand medical care to patients suffering from diabetes-related retinal diseases, and to estab-lish a sustainable center to continue

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Montecito Doctor Restores Sight in Honduras

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treatment for future patients. “There are only two surgical retina

specialists in the entire country of eight million people, and they primar-ily treat private, paying patients,” said Pieramici. “Meanwhile, the majority of Hondurans can’t afford specialized healthcare and it’s estimated that a substantial and growing percentage have diabetes related retinal diseases.”

In the past, SEE International focused on cataract surgery, however the organization recognizes the grow-ing burden of blindness associated with diabetes, which is a retina issue, and one of Pieramici’s specialties at California Retina Consultants, his Santa Barbara-based practice.

When the team arrived at the clinic Thanksgiving week, the waiting room was filled to capacity. One woman traveled from Tegucigalpa, a four-hour drive, and slept outside the clinic awaiting the U.S. doctors’ arrival. Due to the clinic’s scheduling process (all patients were given a 7:30 am appoint-ment time), many waited more than six hours to be examined. Fifty-five year old patient Suyala Gonzalez arrived at 6:30 am, remarking, “It’s a great opportunity to see a doctor from the United States. I would never

be able to afford this type of care.” Kelbim, a tall, thin 14-year-old boy from San Pedro Sula said he has had a problem with his left eye for one year, but couldn’t afford treatment. Unfortunately, by the time Dante saw his detached retina it was too advanced to operate. The good news: his vision and the ocular condition of his other eye were excellent.

“We are seeing a lot of cases that have progressed to an untreatable level,” remarked Rabena, who said the window of opportunity for treating patients is limited and therein lies the challenge. Proper and early screening is paramount, and local doctors and nurses need to be trained to detect problems before they escalate, however, most patients don’t seek out care in a timely fashion. Dr. Ramirez, a general ophthalmologist at CCSHH, observed Pieramici in the operating room and hopes to continue ongoing training.

A Family AffairWhile Dante was treating patients

in the clinic, our daughters were help-ing people in the community. CCSHH has a charitable division that is dedi-cated to improving the quality of life for the Honduran poor by providing education and promoting a healthier lifestyle. Arin (11) and her sister Lily (9), both students at Crane Country Day School, were able to assist Lorena Tejada, who oversees the clinic’s Good Samaritan efforts, by packaging and delivering gift bags and food to El Progresso’s neediest families. The girls distributed toothbrushes and tooth-paste, donated by Global Grins, to 90 boys at ProNino orphanage. They also distributed school supplies and toys to a dozen extremely destitute children, and delivered fruit, new sheets and towels to nursing home seniors. Arin said she was most moved by the story of a pretty 16- year-old paraplegic. “She lives up a garbage-filled, dirt road high on the hill, and her mom has to carry her daughter on her back to take her to school. But the mom got a hernia

Full disclosure: The author of this article, Ann Pieramici, is Dr. Pieramici’s wife. She accompanied her family to Honduras, equipped with a notepad, a camera, and a certain nervousness that only a mother can understand.

Carmen, nurse at CCSHH; Melvin Rabena, research director California Retina Research Foundation; Dr. Ramirez, Dr. Pieramici and Melvin Tejada, Executive Director, CCSHH

Patient Suyala Gonzalez waited more than six hours to be examined by Pieramici and his team

Arin and Lily Pieramici, students at Crane Country Day, visit some of the most destitute families in El Progresso, Honduras during their Thanksgiving break, delivering school supplies, clothing and toys


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so now she can’t carry her daughter,” explained Arin. Lily, who was visibly moved by the experience, was happy to be helping the children but says she also wished she had food for all the “sad dogs,” many of which are mal-nourished, mangy, and homeless.

According to Dr. Pieramici, bring-ing us along on the trip was a way to widen our girls’ scope of the world and show them the meaning of giv-ing, “I hope my daughters gained a greater appreciation for what they have and more compassion for those less privileged.”

Ongoing Programs Honduras is one of the poorest coun-

tries in the western hemisphere, with approximately 65% of the population living in poverty. Healthcare is unreli-able and specialized care is unobtain-able for most. The goal of CCSHH is to treat everyone regardless of ability to pay. Pieramici claims the clinic has a well-trained, dedicated staff but the equipment is not up to U.S. standards.

This is the first of many diabetic treatment programs around the world for SEE International. Future expedi-tions include Vietnam, Panama and Bolivia. Pieramici, a SEE Board mem-ber and Rabena, hope to return to Honduras with a larger staff and bet-ter equipment. And though humani-

tarian care is becoming more difficult in Honduras due to increasing crime, Pieramici and Rabena are intent on returning. “We had to turn away many patients who traveled a distance to see us,” said Pieramici, who worked at the clinic for four days. “We wish we could have helped more people,” agreed Rabena.

Of course that includes the memora-ble 6-year-old boy Pieramici met on his first day at the clinic and who, despite his best efforts, continues to have lin-gering problems. He was referred to a larger hospital in Honduras and Pieramici is also looking into options to fly him to Miami for specialized care.

The California Retina Research Foundation is a nonprofit, research-oriented division of the California Retina Consultants that offers clinical trial research to a variety of patients along the Southern Coast and Central Valley of California. It is paid for by private donations. Visit www.califor niaretina.com for more information or call 805-963-1648.

Santa Barbara-based Surgical Eye Expeditions (SEE) International was founded in 1974 as a humanitarian medical nonprofit organization. It has completed more than 400,000 sight-restoring surgeries worldwide, with a record 15,463 surgeries, performed in 2010. For more information, visit www.seeintl.org or call 805-963-3303. •MJ

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MISCELLANy (Continued from page 18)order being relegated to the servants’ quarters, known as the Bachelor Wing because it normally houses many of the single men on staff.

The servants who were there had to pack up their belongings and move into the footmen’s bedrooms, prompt-ing much grumbling among those staff members who had to double up and share.

“It’s a large country house by any standards, but, given all the new hus-bands, wives and children, they were crammed in like sardines this year.”

Oh dear...

Kris’s Rose-Colored GlassesThe family of basketball star Kris

Humphries had reservations about his relationship with reality TV star Kim Kardashian from the day he started dating her, it would seem.

They were “surprised” by the speedy intensity of the union between Humphries, 26, and Kardashian, 31.

And, according to RadarOnline.com, they suggest Humphries had no time to remove his rose tinted glasses before Kardashian hit him with divorce papers just 72 days after their publicity-saturated wedding in Montecito.

“We expressed concern to him about his relationship with Kim,” a close family member tells the website.

“We were quite surprised that it was as serious as it was with them. But he was just taken away by her, and you can’t tell someone in love to open their eyes a little wider. He just saw what he wanted to see.”

Although Kardashian has been accused of staging the marriage and divorce for publicity, Humphries was genuinely in love – then authentically heartbroken, says the source.

In the meantime, I note the latest Us Weekly, in its “Best of” for 2011, lauds the Royal Wedding between Prince William and Kate Middleton, while blasting the Kardashian nuptials as “the worst,” calling it “a waste of time and money!”

Interestingly, as you know, I did commentary on both for national TV.

From one extreme to the other!...

Diamond in the Rough As the gap between the rich and

the poor has never been more pro-nounced, the launch of a million dol-lar perfume is set to really divide the haves and have nots.

Encrusted with diamonds and rare gemstones, the luxury bottle is, fortu-nately, being sold in aid of charity.

Beverly Hills celebrity jeweler Martin Katz has teamed up with designers at DKNY to create the glit-tering masterpiece, which is set to go on a world tour before being sold off for the humanitarian organization, Action Against Hunger.

The apple-shaped bottle is carved

from yellow and white gold and spar-kles with 2,700 round brilliant white diamonds weighing 15.17 carats.

On the side the Manhattan skyline is shaped out of 183 golden yellow sap-phires, while the cap is embellished with a 2.43 carat flawless vivid yel-low canary diamond, with yet more diamonds making up the DKNY logo.

Katz, who is famed for decorating the stars at the Oscars and Golden Globes, spent 1,500 hours with his team making the bottle.

The sweet smell of excess...

Chafed CoiffeurIt’s curling tongs at dawn over the

Duchess of Cambridge.HRH’s longtime crimper, James

Pryce, who accompanied her on the royal trip to Santa Barbara and Los Angeles in July, has just quit the Chelsea, London, salon of Richard Ward, where he had worked for the past eight years.

It seems the work led to a series of clashes at the celebrity salon, cul-minating in his departure as creative director last month.

The final straw came when Ward allegedly discovered Pryce was giv-ing his personal details to clients, in breach of his contract.

Both men will now be eager to retain the future queen as a client, alongside her mother, Carole, and sister, Pippa.

Royal observers believe Kate will remain with Pryce, who has become a good friend.

All too hair raising for words...

Sightings: Emily Blunt and hus-band, John Krasinski, chowing down at Olio e Limone... Stuart Whitman getting his Java jolt at Pierre Lafond... Comedian David Spade’s father, Sam, checking out Café Del Sol

Pip! Pip! for now - and Happy New Year!

Readers with tips, sightings and amusing items for Richard’s column should e-mail him at [email protected] or send invita-tions or other correspondence to the Journal •MJ

Royal flap over Kate’s hairdresser


land at the YMCA preschool at 7 pm for their Holiday Concert. Julie Henley’s Room 1 students dressed as the 10 Little Angels and sang “Christmas Star,” Ruth Ambriz’s Room 2 kids were dressed for Hanukkah and sang “This Little Light of Mine.” Annie Fischer’s Room 3 kids stole the show with a four-act play of the Christmas story. They constructed a theater in the Y’s gym, with a stage curtain made out of four white shower cur-tains with gold stars. All the kids made their costumes, learned their lines and memorized song lyrics. The finale song was “Feliz Navidad,” during which the students played tambourines, maracas, and bells and danced for joy. •MJ

Santa and I continued our annual date for the coverage of the holiday concerts at MUS,

El Montecito Early School and the YMCA.

We headed over to Montecito Union School on the morning of Friday, December 16 for Pam McClendon’s Annual Winter Sing in the school’s auditorium. I would be remiss if I did not mention that Pam announced her retirement from MUS. She mentioned she has been there 40 years, and I retorted, “So... how about forty more!” As she proceeded to direct the concert, she remained, as always, smiling at her students the entire time.

The chorus sang holiday favorites from “Season’s Greetings” to “The Cookie Baking Song,” Hanukkah Celebration songs, and “Silent Night” in both English and Spanish. MUS accompanist Anna Abbey was also smiling at a pitch-perfect concert. Students played various drums and xylophone instruments and the school band led by Ron Zecher, conducting from his piano, was also a fine treat,

sounding tight in the sax and clarinet sections. The show concluded with the annual visit from Santa Claus, who came skipping through the audi-ence and stopped to dance with Pam on his way to the stage.

Immediately following the MUS concert, we scooted down to the upper village to El Montecito Early School’s 20-plus year annual Las Posadas – which means “the Inn” in English – ceremony. For the ceremony, all the students “travel” through the school with a candle, looking for a “room at the inn” to emulate the journey of Mary and Joseph. They found room at Parish Hall, where they were wel-comed by the school’s director, Suzy Dobreski. The children were then led to the stage to sing a Christmas song, accompanied by music director, Dr. Mike Eglin. They sang “Christmas in the Manger,” “Christmas Christmas,” and “Happy Birthday Baby Jesus.” Parents and teachers decorated the hall in traditional holiday fashion, and a celebratory luncheon was enjoyed.

Santa and I were happy to finally

MUS kindergarteners performing the “Cookie Baking Song”

ELMO Early School students singing Christmas songs for their teachers and parents

YMCA preschool students perform the Christmas story

The entire YMCA preschool with director Annie Fischer on the far right

MUS band director Ron Zecher, conducting the band and playing the piano for the Winter Sing

Montecito Union School music direc-tor, Pam McClendon, with her students per-forming at the Winter Sing

Our Town by Joanne A. CalitriJoanne is a professional international photographer and journalist. Contact her at :

[email protected]

School Holiday Concerts, Part Two


was often referred to as “Queen of Fiesta.” The subject of my August 11, 2011 Trail Talk column, Hattie par-ticipated in every Fiesta parade since the very first one, way back in 1924. This August, the parade will simply not be the same without the familiar, tiny figure in the blue dress waving to the crowd, urging them to “Viva la Fiesta.”

Hattie served as Grand Marshal of El Desfile Historico three different times: in 1983, again in 1999, and for the last time in 2011. She was also a member of The Fillies, as well as other women’s trail riding groups such as the Saddle Skirts and the Sage Hens.

Hattie was born in 1911 in Cottage Hospital. She is survived by her son, John, and daughter Teresita (Cita) Mainer, as well as their respective families.

Fred Foy (1921-2010)News of Fred Foy’s death on

December 22, 2010 arrived after last year’s press deadline (no pun intend-ed), hence his inclusion on this year’s list. While the name of Fred Foy may not be readily recognizable, his most famous radio lines are, especially when heard against the background of Rossini’s “William Tell” overture: “A fiery horse with the speed of light, a cloud of dust, and a hearty Hi-Ho, Silver! Away!”

Fred Foy served as the announcer for “The Lone Ranger,” making American history with the beloved show that began on the radio, then continued on television starring Clayton Moore as the “Lone Ranger” and Jay Silverheels as his Indian sidekick, “Tonto.”

Although Foy was not the first announcer for “The Lone Ranger,” which debuted on the radio in 1933, he joined the show in the late 1940s and kept the position until it went off the air in the late 1950s. He also served as the announcer on the television version for its entire run, from 1949 to 1957.

Foy was born in Detroit, Michigan, and served in the U.S. Army during World War II, during which time he was an announcer for Armed Forces Radio in Cairo. His post-war career also included jobs as announcer for “The Green Hornet” (the grandneph-ew of the Lone Ranger) and “Sergeant Preston of the Yukon.” In 2000, Foy was inducted into the Radio Hall of Fame. When Fred Foy died of natural

causes, his wife of 63 years, Frances, and three children survived him.

Clarence Minetti (1918-2011)Clarence Minetti was born in

Cayucos, but grew up in the small community of Guadalupe where he will always be immortalized, now that West Main Street within the city limits has been renamed Clarence Minetti Memorial Road. He married his wife of more than 70 years, Rosalie, in 1940, and the following year went to work for her father as a ranch hand on his Corralitos Ranch. When his father-in-law died in 1947, Clarence took over the dry farming and cattle operation. In 1958, he and his lifelong business partner, Richard Maretti, opened the Far Western Tavern in Guadalupe, famous to this day as the place to go for authentic Santa Maria-style Barbeque. But Minetti’s success as a rancher, businessman and restaurateur pale in comparison to his civic involve-ment and extensive dedication to the Central Coast community, which is far too lengthy to list here. Minetti was chosen as Honorary Vaquero of the 1988 Old Spanish Days Fiesta, and was a revered member of the men’s trail riding groups Vaqueros de los Ranchos and Rancheros Visitadores. The list of honors he received through-out his lifetime would fill several more columns.

Clarence Minetti died at age 93 from injuries sustained when the vehicle in which he was riding was hit in a head-on collision last March, when a car driven by Elvia Tello made an unsafe attempt to pass a slower big-rig (the District Attorney’s office charged Tello with vehicular manslaughter with gross negligence charges, but the case is ongoing as of press time). Manetti’s wife, Rosalie, their three children, as well as their extended families, survive him.

Jane Russell (1921-2011)Anyone who has seen Jane Russell’s

comedic talents while singing “Buttons and Bows” with Roy Rogers, “The King of the Cowboys,” while fending off the fraternity-boy antics of Bob Hope in the 1952 film “Son of Paleface,” knows why she is on this list.

Legend has it that Bob Hope, famous for his one-liners, once introduced her as “the two and only Jane Russell,” of

TRAIL TALK (Continued from page 22)

Fred Foy, whose voice was familiar to millions as the announcer for “The Lone Ranger”

Clarence Minetti was a stalwart fixture of the Central Coast ranching community

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course referring to her famous bust-line. With measurements of 38D-24-36, Russell was, in her prime, one of the sexiest and most beautiful of any woman in show business. Everyone talks about her breakout role in the Howard Hughes film “The Outlaw,” which was literally held up from gen-eral release for years due to censor-ship issues related directly to Russell’s sexy appearance. But Bob Hope’s witty introduction could also refer to Russell’s “double life,” as what she accomplished off-screen was so last-ing and profound. As the founder of World Adoption International Fund (WAIF), Russell helped facilitate the adoption of over 50,000 orphaned children. That’s an entire city!

During the years that Jane Russell was a resident of Montecito, she gen-erously opened her home for worth-while fundraisers, often for her favor-ite Republican candidates. Her death in March at age 90 resulted in thou-sands of pages of ink with the details of her life, which are easily accessible on the web. But she was personal-ly beloved to many locals, some of whom spoke at her funeral. Anyone who doesn’t remember what a talent-ed force she was should invest some time on You Tube, where many of her best moments live on in cyberspace.

David Wells (1915-2011)When David Wells died in March

of this year at age 95, we lost another member of the “greatest generation.” David was a Southern California boy, raised in Santa Monica where he became an Eagle Scout. His fas-cination with the ocean led him to continue in the Sea Scouting program, and he became an avid sailor. In the 1930s, he participated several times in the Transpacific Race, which cov-ers more than two thousand miles of open ocean between California and Hawai’i. When World War II broke out, Wells joined the U.S. Navy, and eventually achieved the rank of Lieutenant Commander. He served primarily on the U.S.S. Gwin, and was involved in the battles of Midway and Guadalcanal. Wells was then assigned to the Naval Torpedo Station in Newport, Rhode Island, where he taught torpedo weaponry for the duration of the war.

In 1947, David Wells and his new bride settled in Goleta on the prop-erty they called Harvest Hill Ranch. In

addition to producing avocados, lem-ons and walnuts, Wells and his fam-ily raised Welsh ponies. Harvest Hill Ranch became a nationally recognized name as one of the top breeding farms of Welsh ponies, which were shown at horse shows in several states.

David Wells was a popular mem-ber of several local men’s trail rid-ing groups, including Rancheros Visitadores, Los Pobres Rancheros, and Santa Barbara Trail Riders.

Robert James “Jim” Westwick (1931-2011)

A third-generation Barbarano, Jim Westwick was born in Cottage Hospital. An avid tennis player in his youth, he played on the tennis team at both Santa Barbara High School and UCSB. After serving three years in the U.S. Army during the 1950s, Jim went to San Francisco to study at Hastings College of Law. He established his law practice in Santa Barbara after being admitted to the Bar in 1959.

Jim was a trail enthusiast who loved exploring the Santa Barbara backcountry, often on horseback. He was a member of the Paisano camp of Rancheros Visitadores, and also belonged to Los Pobres Rancheros and Santa Barbara Trail Riders.

A longtime Director of Old Spanish Days, Jim served as El Presidente in 1982. The Fiesta Parade parties held on the balcony of his offices over-looking State Street were a tradition for many years, when friends would gather to enjoy the festivities and Jim’s hospitality.

Jim Westwick’s booming voice and jovial demeanor are missed by his many friends, and his wife, Phyllis, who survives him. •MJ

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Jim Westwick in his role as El Presidente of Old Spanish Days Fiesta in 1982

David Wells became a nationally-recognized breeder of Welsh ponies


SATURDAY, DECEMBER 31

Fishbon Chrysalis – Searching for a creative way to spend the final night of 2011? Fishbon’s annual New Year’s Eve celebration of the collaborative arts community is called “Chrysalis” this time around, and the wild & wacky folks at the Funk Zone warehouse are transforming the Pescadrome into a magical wonderland complete with a 1920’s Swan Club New York Speakeasy theme. Events include the “Occupy Swan Lake” cabaret play, the Red Queen’s Lounge, aerial acts and acrobatics, live and interactive art installations, Tray Girls, several DJs, and much more from the merry mayhem members. WHEN: 9pm WHERE: 101 S. Quarantina Street COST: $50 (pre-sale only) INFO: www.fishbonsb.ning.com

New Year’s in Ojai – Skip the Irish whiskey and ring in 2012 with Irish music, courtesy of Molly’s Revenge! The Ojai Concert Series – the folks who present a wonderfully down-home music series at their ranch home during the warmer months – are bringing the dynamic, acoustic Celtic band known for its unique and infectious enthusiasm back to town for the big night. The band boasts a classic combination of bagpipes, whistle, fiddle and guitar spicing up the sound with bouzouki, bodhran and mandola, a combination that has landed them gigs at many of the top folk festivals and performing arts events across the country, and across the pond in places like Australia and

China. Their arrangements of traditional Celtic jigs and reels bring the dance tunes up to date with a driving, hard-edged accent. And when the band stops playing at 11pm, the recorded music takes over, with elegant and romantic waltzes playing until past midnight. The whole affair is also a a dessert and finger-food potluck party, so bring something to share (the promoters got the the party favors and the bubbly covered). WHEN: 8pm WHERE: Ojai Valley Woman’s Club, 441 E. Ojai Avenue COST: $25 general, $12 for children under 14, free under 6 (if you can keep ‘em quiet) INFO: 665-8852 or www.ojaiconcertseries.com

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 4

Slack key sans parody – Hawaiian slack key guitarist Jim “Kimo” West is best known for working with the comedy singer-songwriter “Weird Al” Yankovic, appearing on a great many of the parodist’s albums, videos and concerts. But he’s also released four solo slack-key guitar albums and it’s in that guise that we’ll hear him on Wednesday, in the little Santa Barbara haven for Hawaiian artists otherwise known as SOhO. West, who lives in Los Angeles and also writes and produces music for film, TV and commercials, travels regularly to the islands to brush up on his Ki’ Ho’alu (slack-key) technique, at which he’s considered a master. WHEN: 8pm WHERE: SOhO, 1221 State Street, upstairs in Victoria Court COST: $15 INFO: 962-7776 or www.sohosb.com

C ALENDAR OF EVENTSNote to readers: This entertainment calendar is a subjective sampling of arts and other events taking place in the Santa Barbara area this week. It is by no means comprehensive. Be sure to read feature stories in each issue that complement the calendar. In order to be considered for inclusion in this calendar, information must be submitted no later than noon on the Wednesday prior to publication. Please send all news releases and digital artwork to [email protected] and/or [email protected]

by Steven Libowitz

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 30

Kinda fonda Wanda – She briefly dated and sang with Elvis Presley. She basically popularized rockabilly as a genre for women. She hit the Top 40 as a country singer, and gave pianist Big Al Downing and guitarist Roy Clark their early exposure as members of her band. She was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 2009 as

an early influence. And at age 74, Wanda Jackson continues her 50-year-plus rein as the “Queen of Rockabilly” with yet another tour of fiery performances, full of vim and vigor and take-no-prisoner singing. The “Fujiyama Mama” returns to SOhO for a rollicking New Year's Eve roll through a treasure trove of her hits – from “Hot Dog! That Made Him Mad,” “Right or Wrong” and “Let’s Have a Party” to selections from The Party Ain’t Over, her 2011 album recorded with Jack White that included Dylan’s “Thunder on the Mountain,” and charted as high at No. 58 on the Billboard Top 200, making Jackson the oldest female artist ever to accomplish the feat. Rockabilly boogie, indeed! WHEN: 9pm WHERE: SOhO, 1221 State Street COST: $22 INFO: 962-7776 or www.sohosb.com

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 31

Loggins & Lois – There’s plenty of reasons to ring in 2012 at SOhO besides the fact that the musical entertainment comes from the aptly-named Midnight Band. Like, for example, lead vocalist Lois Mahalia, the supremely gifted Caribbean-born singer named after gospel great Mahalia Jackson who does R&B and jazz like nobody’s business. Or maybe special guest Kenny Loggins, the ‘70s and ‘80s rock icon who called Montecito home for a long time before moving to Hope Ranch. The two – along with band-mates George Friedenthal, Randy Tico, Maitlin Ward, Donzell Davis – have made New Year’s Eve at SOhO an almost annual tradition, and pretty much a must-see event. Celebrate ‘em home as we celebrate the new year. WHEN: 9pm WHERE: SOhO, 1221 State Street COST: $110 with dinner INFO: 962-7776 or www.sohosb.com

SATURDAY, JANUARY 7

Kamatana. Come again? No, Kamatana – The obokano is a large bass lyre played by the Gusii tribe of Western Kenya. Dubbed “the double bass of East Africa, the obokano has has eight strings which produce a deep buzzy sound reminiscent of a bass saxophone. When combined with vocals and percussion, it provides a strong rhythmic accompaniment. That’s just what you’ll hear with Kamatana, a duo from Kenya who are dedicated to promoting the music of the obokano to new audiences. Mid-thirty-year-olds Domonic Ogari and Samwel Osieko are Gussis who offer folk songs not only in their native Gusii language, but also tunes from other tribes in Kenya including the Luhya and Luo in the west and the Kiswahili-speaking peoples of the coast. Which makes sense, since Kamatana means “togetherness”. WHEN: 6pm WHERE: SOhO, 1221 State Street, upstairs in Victoria Court COST: $15 ($3 discount with dinner) INFO: 962-7776 or www.sohosb.com

The essence of dance – NECTAR, choreographer-dancer Cybil Gilbertson’s three-year-old and very bold creative forum that challenges artists in a variety of media to investigate a theme and create something new, kicks off 2012 on a notion that we’ve all been sharing for the past two weeks: “Home.” This quarter’s culminating performance-forum takes place tonight at Yoga Soup, the wonderfully intimate and spiritually-sparked palace of

healing arts behind the Roasting Company on lower State Street. The specific list of artists and performers wasn’t available at our early press time, but be assured you’ll be amused, entertained, confronted and impressed. WHEN: 7:30pm WHERE: 28 Parker Way COST: $20 INFO: 965-8811 www.yogasoup.com or www.cybilgilbertson.com

SUNDAY, JANUARY 8

SOS season starts – If you’re depressed over already having broken half of your New Year’s resolutions only a week into to 2012, here’s some help: Speaking of Stories kicks off its new season with “Nothing But Laughs,” an evening of stories selected to tickle your funny bone and at least make you smile if not laugh out loud. It’s a Montecito bookend, too, as village-based actress Christina Allison reads her own Renaldo and the Early Bird Special to get things going, followed by Tony Miratti and Rich Hoag teaming up for David Mamet’s Duck Variations and Meredith McMinn reading Padgett Powell’s The Winnowing of Mrs. Schuping before Bob Lesser winds up the night with Respect by Montecito writer T.C. Boyle. As always, SOS artistic director Maggie Mixsell directs the show, which will be followed by cookies and milk on the patio as part of a reception with the artists. WHEN: 2pm Sunday, 7pm Monday WHERE: Center Stage Theater, upstairs in Paseo Nuevo COST: $25 general, $15 students INFO: 963-0408 or www.centerstagetheater.org •MJ

29 December 2011 – 5 January 2012 MONTECITO JOURNAL 33I’ve been in love with the same woman for forty-one years; if my wife finds out, she’ll kill me – Henny Youngman

Ernie’s World by Ernie Witham

Ernie’s latest book, A Year in the Life of a ‘Working’ Writer. A Memoir to the Best of the Recollection of Ernie Witham, is now

available for Kindles and iPads on amazon.com

A few years ago we bought a co-op Christmas tree. The idea was that one year it would be at our

house and the next year it would be at Carl, Christy, Leila and Charlie’s house. It was pretty expensive and I probably would have objected had I known anything about it. But I didn’t find out about it until I came home from work one day and it was all set up in our dining area.

“Merry Christmas!” they all yelled.I looked up at the ten foot tall behe-

moth with its pre-attached lights and perfect branches. A giant ominous-looking white box sat on the floor next to the forever-green. It had Chinese writing on the side.

“Carl put it up. It was easy.”I glanced at my son-in-law, but I

didn’t exactly see “easy” in his eyes.“After Christmas, we simply take

apart the easy-to-assemble sections and pack it away for next year.”

There was that word “easy” again.Christy and the kids started singing

Christmas songs. I felt a bit nauseous, er nostalgic.

“We’ll never have to buy another real tree and watch it die.”

I do have to admit, I have had some less-than-joyous experiences with real trees. One year in New Hampshire, my buddy Del and I offered to cut down trees for everyone who gave us money. Del brought a chainsaw. Being a logical thinker, Del figured it wasn’t worth fir-ing the thing up unless we were going to cut trunks the width of a telephone pole. Quickly we had cut four trees that were exactly twice as long as my K5 Chevy Blazer. I drove home with one hand on the wheel and one arm around the ends of two trees that were resting on my dashboard. I couldn’t even see Del. Surprisingly, people were not all that pleased with their eighteen-foot tall trees that they had to make special tree stands to accommodate. Plus my Blazer smelled like pine sap for months.

Another time I cut a perfect tree, but the bottom was uneven so it wouldn’t fit in the stand. I trimmed a bit, then a bit more, then a bit more, until I ended up with a tree that was six feet wide and three feet tall.

So maybe this tree was a good thing.

Especially seeing as how just after Christmas – again while I was at work – Carl took the tree down, packed it up and put it in the garage.

Two years later, Carl put it up and took it down again. Great guy that Carl.

Then a few weeks ago it was our turn for the tree again. I called Carl.

“Sorry,” said Christy, “Carl’s away on business. Should be pretty easy though.”

“This one must go next,” I said as I hefted the metal section up the steplad-der. I felt a twinge in my lower back.

“No, that one is larger than this one so it’s nearer to the bottom.”

“Is this the top?”“That’s the part that goes in the

stand.”“I already put a piece in the stand.”“That one may be upside down. See

how the branches are pointing toward the floor.”

“#$@%$#@!”“Did you just curse me?”“No, that was aimed at the Republic

of China’s tree manufacturing divi-sion.”

Somehow we finally got it assembled then we connected the cords that ran from section to section and plugged in the lights. Just the bottom lit up.

“Seems darker than usual,” my wife said.

I climbed the ladder and switched plugs. This time the middle lit up.

I switched them again. This time the top lit briefly then they all went out. I kept switching them. Top Middle or Bottom. Top Middle or Bottom.

Finally, some four hours, three extension cords, and a roll of duct tape later, most of the lights were lit. We put on the decorations and that was that.

Until today.“I think it’s time to pack away the

easy-to assemble pieces,” my wife said.I called Carl. He was away on anoth-

er business trip.“How about we just throw a giant

sheet over it until next year? We can tell people it’s a piece of modern art.”

“I’ll get the box,” my wife said.Carl, if you’re reading this, you have

less than two years to find a new job that doesn’t involve traveling. •MJ

Artificial Unintelligence

I trimmed a bit, then a bit more, then a bit more, until I ended up with a tree that was six feet wide and three feet tall

FRIDAY, JANUARY 6

Hot Tuna & cool blues – The acoustic concert of the year might just be happening in the first week of 2012, as two veterans whose careers date back to the 1960s team up for a tantalizing tour. Both Hot Tuna and David Bromberg have played the Lobero before, but this tandem show is a tantalizing treat of folk-rock and Americana from guys with about 150 years of combined experience. Hot Tuna’s Jorma Kaukonen and Jack Casady – who first got together as teenagers in Northern California and have played together on and off ever since – present a much-copied but never topped blend of bluegrass, blues

and folk. The same description could apply to Bromberg, as the multi-instrumentalist can play anything with strings while also adding country-swing, ragtime, R&B and jazz to the mix. Kaukonen & Casady are also members of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, courtesy of their long association with just about every iteration of Jefferson Airplane (later Starship). Steady as She Goes, the duo’s spring 2011 release, is an apt if clichéd title, as the boys just keep deliverin’ the goods, time after time after time. Bromberg, who will appear with his quartet, began his career on the East Coast, basically busking in Greenwich Village’s “basket houses” before winning jobs backing up Tom Paxton, Rosalie Sorrels and Jerry Jeff Walker, among others. Later, his chops earned him gigs as a hired gun for the likes of Bob Dylan, The Eagles, Ringo Starr, Willie Nelson and Carly Simon, to name just a few, but it was his association with Walker that led to his rendition of “Mr. Bojangles,” a seven-minute song that lifted Bromberg above the fray for good in 1972. Bromberg’s ability for spinning quirky, humorous yarns is as prodigious as his instrumental prowess; How Late’ll Ya Play Til remains one of the greatest live albums of all time (check out “Will Not Be Your Fool” for some riotously funny venom-spewing in perhaps the best break-up song in history). 2011’s Use Me, his latest album, proves he’s still got it, too. WHEN: 8pm WHERE: Lobero Theatre, 33 W. Canon Perdido Street COST: $32 & $42 INFO: 963-0761 or www.lobero.com

SATURDAY, JANUARY 7

Kids Helping Kids – There’s something particularly heartwarming about beginning the new year at the Granada with the sort of pay-it-forward event that gives one hope for the future. Kids Helping Kids is an economics-business program run as a nonprofit at San Marcos High School that culminates with an annual concert programmed, promoted, publicized and presented in every facet (including

white gloved, suit-wearing ushers and assistants) by the advanced students in the program. The students have raised more than half a million dollars since KHK was founded in 2002; all proceeds go directly to charity, including causes such as the Unity Shoppe, the Ubumwe Center Pre-School in Rwanda, and their San Marcos Fund, which helps pay for students’ school and test fees. For their fourth year at the Granada, the students have once again found an appropriate headliner (following SMHS alum Toad the Wet Sprocket, Five For Fighting and Mat Kearney) in Sara Bareilles. The singer-songwriter-guitarist-pianist, only a decade removed from college herself, hit the big time in 2007 with the hit single “Love Song,” which topped Billboard’s Pop 100 chart and earned the first of her three Grammy nominations.The wholesome Bareilles has sold more than a million records in the United States alone and is currently serving as a celebrity judge on the third season of NBC’s The Sing-Off, alongside Ben Folds and Shawn Stockman of Boyz II Men. As in every previous year, LA-based soul singer-songwriter Tyrone Wells opens the show, which also features a performance by the winner of Royals Got Talent, the American Idol-style show put on by Kids Helping Kids at San Marcos High School, plus a bountiful selection of silent auction items. WHEN: 7pm WHERE: Granada, 1214 State St. COST: $33-78 INFO: 899-2222 www.granadasb.org or www.kidshelpingkidssb.org


Bella Vista $$$1260 Channel Drive (565-8237)Featuring a glass retractable roof, Bella Vis-ta’s ambiance is that of an elegant outdoor Mediterranean courtyard. Executive Chef Alessandro Cartumini has created an inno-vative menu, featuring farm fresh, Italian-inspired California cuisine. Open daily for breakfast, lunch and dinner from 7 am to 9 pm.

Cafe Del Sol $$30 Los Patos Way (969-0448)

CAVA $$1212 Coast Village Road (969-8500)Regional Mexican and Spanish cooking combine to create Latin cuisine from tapas and margaritas, mojitos, seafood paella and sangria to lobster tamales, Churrasco ribeye steak and seared Ahi tuna. Sunflower-colored interior is accented by live Span-ish guitarist playing next to cozy beehive fireplace nightly. Lively year-round outdoor people-wat ching front patio. Open Monday-Friday 11 am to 10 pm. Saturday and Sunday 10 am to 10 pm.

China Palace $$1070 Coast Village Road (565-9380)Montecito’s only Chinese restaurant, here you’ll find large portions and modern décor. Take out available. (Montecito Journal staff is especially fond of the Cashew Chicken!) China Palace also has an outdoor patio. Open seven days 11:30 am to 9:30 pm.

Giovanni’s $1187 Coast Village Road (969-1277)

Los Arroyos $1280 Coast Village Road (969-9059)

Little Alex’s $1024 A-Coast Village Road (969-2297)

Lucky’s (brunch) $$ (dinner) $$$ 1279 Coast Village Road (565-7540)Comfortable, old-fashioned urban steak-house in the heart of America’s biggest little village. Steaks, chops, seafood, cocktails, and an enormous wine list are featured, with white tablecloths, fine crystal and vintage photos from the 20th century. The bar (separate from dining room) features large flat-screen TV and opens at 4 pm during the week. Open nightly from 5 pm to 10 pm; Saturday & Sunday brunch from 9 am to 3 pm. Valet Parking.

Montecito Café $$1295 Coast Village Road (969-3392)

Montecito Coffee Shop $1498 East Valley Road (969-6250)

Montecito Wine Bistro $$$516 San Ysidro Road 969-7520Head to Montecito’s upper village to indulge in some California bistro cuisine. Chef Nathan Heil creates seasonal menus that

$ (average per person under $15)$$ (average per person $15 to $30)$$$ (average per person $30 to $45)$$$$ (average per person $45-plus)

M O N T E C I T O E AT E R I E S . . . A G u i d e include fish and vegetarian dishes, and fresh flatbreads straight out of the wood-burning oven. The Bistro offers local wines, classic and specialty cocktails, single malt scotches and aged cognacs.

Pane é Vino $$$1482 East Valley Road (969-9274)

Peabody’s $1198 Coast Village Road (969-0834)

Plow & Angel $$$San Ysidro Ranch 900 San Ysidro Lane (565-1700) Enjoy a comfortable atmosphere as you dine on traditional dishes such as mac ‘n cheese and ribs. The ambiance is enhanced with original artwork, including stained glass windows and an homage to its namesake, Saint Isadore, hanging above the fireplace. Dinner is served from 5 to 10 pm daily with bar service extend-ing until 11 pm weekdays and until midnight on Friday and Saturday.

Sakana Japanese Restaurant $$1046 Coast Village Road (565-2014)

Stella Mare’s $$/$$$50 Los Patos Way (969-6705)

Stonehouse $$$$San Ysidro Ranch900 San Ysidro Lane (565-1700)Located in what is a 19th-century citrus pack-inghouse, Stonehouse restaurant features a lounge with full bar service and separate dining room with crackling fireplace and creekside views. Chef Jamie West’s regional cuisine is prepared with a palate of herbs and vegetables harvested from the on-site chef’s garden. Recently voted 1 of the best 50 restaurants in America by OpenTable Diner’s Choice. 2010 Diners’ Choice Awards: 1 of 50 Most Romantic Restaurants in America, 1 of 50 Restaurants With Best Service in America. Open for dinner from 6 to 10 pm daily. Sunday Brunch 10 am to 2 pm.

Trattoria Mollie $$$1250 Coast Village Road (565-9381)

Tre Lune $$/$$$1151 Coast Village Road (969-2646)A real Italian boite, complete with small but fully licensed bar, big list of Italian wines, large comfortable tables and chairs, lots of mahogany and large b&w vintage photos of mostly fa-mous Italians. Menu features both comfort food like mama used to make and more adventurous Italian fare. Now open continuously from lunch to dinner. Also open from 7:30 am to 11:30 am daily for breakfast.

Via Vai Trattoria Pizzeria $$1483 East Valley Road (565-9393)

Delis, bakeries, juice bars

Blenders in the Grass1046 Coast Village Road (969-0611)

Here’s The Scoop1187 Coast Village Road (lower level) (969-7020)Gelato and Sorbet are made on the premises. Open Monday through Thursday 1 pm to 9 pm, 12 pm to 10 pm Friday and Saturday, and 12

pm to 9 pm on Sundays. Scoopie also offers a full coffee menu featuring Santa Barbara Roast-ing Company coffee. Offerings are made from fresh, seasonal ingredients found at Farmers’ Market, and waffle cones are made on site everyday.

Jeannine’s1253 Coast Village Road (969-7878)

Montecito Deli1150 Coast Village Road (969-3717)Open six days a week from 7 am to 3 pm. (Closed Sunday) This eatery serves home-made soups, fresh salads, sandwiches, and its specialty, The Piadina, a homemade flat bread made daily. Owner Jeff Rypysc and staff deliver locally and cater office parties, luncheons or movie shoots. Also serving breakfast (7am to 11 am), and brewing Peet’s coffee & tea.

Panino 1014 #C Coast Village Road (565-0137)

Pierre Lafond516 San Ysidro Road (565-1502)This market and deli is a center of activity in Montecito’s Upper Village, serving fresh baked pastries, regular and espresso coffee drinks, smoothies, burritos, homemade soups, deli salads, made-to-order sandwiches and wraps available, and boasting a fully stocked salad bar. Its sunny patio draws crowds of regulars daily. The shop also carries specialty drinks, gift items, grocery staples, and produce. Open everyday 5:30 am to 8 pm.

Village Cheese & Wine 1485 East Valley Road (969-3815)

In Summerland / Carpinteria

The Barbecue Company $$3807 Santa Claus Lane (684-2209)

Cantwell’s Summerland Market $2580 Lillie Avenue (969-5894)

Corktree Cellars $$910 Linden Avenue (684-1400)Corktree offers a casual bistro setting for lunch and dinner, in addition to wine tasting and tapas. The restaurant, open everyday except Monday, features art from locals, mellow music and a relaxed atmo-sphere. An extensive wine list features over 110 bottles of local and international wines, which are also available in the eatery's retail section.

Garden Market $3811 Santa Claus Lane (745-5505)

Jack’s Bistro $5050 Carpinteria Avenue (566-1558)Serving light California Cuisine, Jack’s offers freshly baked bagels with whipped cream cheeses, omelettes, scrambles, breakfast bur-ritos, specialty sandwiches, wraps, burgers, salads, pastas and more. Jacks offers an ex-tensive espresso and coffee bar menu, along with wine and beer. They also offer full ser-vice catering, and can accommodate wedding receptions to corporate events. Open Monday through Friday 6:30 am to 3 pm, Saturday and Sunday 7 am to 3 pm.

Nugget $$2318 Lillie Avenue (969-6135)

Padaro Beach Grill $3765 Santa Claus Lane (566-9800)A beach house feel gives this seaside eatery its charm and makes it a perfect place to bring the whole family. Its new owners added a pond, waterfall, an elevated patio with fireplace and couches to boot. Enjoy grill op-tions, along with salads and seafood plates. The Grill is open Monday through Sunday 11 am to 9 pm

Sly’s $$$686 Linden Avenue (684-6666)Sly’s features fresh fish, farmers’ market veg-gies, traditional pastas, prime steaks, Blue Plate Specials and vintage desserts. You’ll find a full bar, serving special martinis and an extensive wine list featuring California and French wines. Cocktails from 4 pm to close, dinner from 5 to 9 pm Sunday-Thursday and 5 to 10 pm Friday and Saturday. Lunch is M-F 11:30 to 2:30, and brunch is served on the weekends from 9 am to 3 pm.

Stacky’s Seaside $2315 Lillie Avenue (969-9908)

Summerland Beach Café $2294 Lillie Avenue (969-1019)

Tinkers $2275 C Ortega Hill Road (969-1970)

Santa Barbara / Restaurant Row

Andersen’s Danish Bakery &Gourmet Restaurant $1106 State State Street (962-5085)Established in 1976, Andersen’s serves Danish and European cuisine including breakfast, lunch & dinner. Authentic Danishes, Apple Strudels, Marzipans, desserts & much more. Dine inside surrounded by European interior or outside on the sidewalk patio. Open 8 am to 9 pm Monday through Friday, 8 am to 10 pm Saturday and Sunday.

Bistro Eleven Eleven $$1111 East Cabrillo Boulevard (730-1111)Located adjacent to Hotel Mar Monte, the bistro serves breakfast and lunch featur-ing all-American favorites. Dinner is a mix of traditional favorites and coastal cuisine. The lounge advancement to the restaurant features a big screen TV for daily sporting events and happy hour. Open Monday-Friday 6:30 am to 9 pm, Saturday and Sunday 6:30 am to 10 pm.

Chuck’s Waterfront Grill $$113 Harbor Way (564-1200)Located next to the Maritime Museum, enjoy some of the best views of both the mountains and the Santa Barbara pier sitting on the newly renovated, award-winning patio, while enjoy-ing fresh seafood straight off the boat. Dinner is served nightly from 5 pm, and brunch is offered on Sunday from 10 am until 1 pm. Reservations are recommended.

El Paseo $$813 Anacapa Street (962-6050)Located in the heart of downtown Santa Bar-bara in a Mexican plaza setting, El Paseo is the place for authentic Mexican specialties, home-

29 December 2011 – 5 January 2012 MONTECITO JOURNAL 35I like whiskey; I always did, and that is why I never drink it – Robert E. Lee

. . . E AT E R I E Smade chips and salsa, and a cold margarita while mariachis stroll through the historic restaurant. The décor reflects its rich Spanish heritage, with bougainvillea-draped balconies, fountain courtyard dining and a festive bar. Dinner specials are offered during the week, with a brunch on Sundays. Open Tuesday through Thursday 4 pm to 10 pm, Friday and Saturday 11:30 am to 10:30 pm, and Sunday 10:30 am to 9 pm.

Enterprise Fish Co. $$225 State Street (962-3313)Every Monday and Tuesday the Enterprise Fish Company offers two-pound Maine Lob-sters served with clam chowder or salad, and rice or potatoes for only $29.95. Happy hour is every weekday from 4 pm to 7 pm. Open Sunday thru Thursday 11:30 am to 10 pm and Friday thru Saturday 11:30 am to 11 pm.

The Harbor Restaurant $$210 Stearns Wharf (963-3311)Enjoy ocean views at the historic Harbor Restaurant on Stearns Wharf. Featuring prime steaks and seafood, a wine list that has earned Wine Spectator Magazine’s Award of Excel-lence for the past six years and a full cocktail bar. Lunch is served 11:30 am to 2:30 pm Monday-Friday, 11 am to 3 pm Saturday and Sunday. Dinner is served 5:30 pm to 10 pm, early dinner available Saturday and Sunday starting at 3 pm.

Los Agaves $600 N. Milpas Street (564-2626)Los Agaves offers eclectic Mexican cuisine, us-ing only the freshest ingredients, in a casual and friendly atmosphere. Serving lunch and dinner, with breakfast on the weekends, Los Agaves fea-tures traditional dishes from central and south-ern Mexico such as shrimp & fish enchiladas, shrimp chile rellenos, and famous homemade mole poblano. Open Monday- Friday 11 am to 9 pm, Saturday & Sunday 9 am to 9 pm.

Miró $$$$8301 Hollister Avenue at Bacara Resort & Spa (968-0100)Miró is a refined refuge with stunning views, featuring two genuine Miro sculptures, a top-rated chef offering a sophisticated menu that accents fresh, organic, and native-grown in-gredients, and a world-class wine cellar. Open Tuesday through Saturday from 6 pm to 10 pm.

Olio e Limone Ristorante $$$ Olio Pizzeria $ 17 West Victoria Street (899-2699) Elaine and Alberto Morello oversee this friendly, casually elegant, linen-tabletop eatery featuring Italian food of the highest order. Of-ferings include eggplant soufflé, pappardelle with quail, sausage and mushroom ragù, and fresh-imported Dover sole. Wine Spectator Award of Excellence-winning wine list. Private dining (up to 40 guests) and catering are also available.Next door at Olio Pizzeria, the Morellos have added a simple pizza-salumi-wine-bar inspired by neighborhood “pizzerie” and “enoteche” in Italy. Here the focus is on artisanal pizzas and antipasti, with classic toppings like fresh moz-zarella, seafood, black truffles, and sausage. Salads, innovative appetizers and an assort-ment of salumi and formaggi round out the menu at this casual, fast-paced eatery. Private

dining for up to 32 guests. Both the ristorante and the pizzeria are open for lunch Monday thru Saturday (11:30 am to 2 pm) and dinner seven nights a week (from 5 pm).

Pierre Lafond Wine Bistro $516 State Street (962-1455)The Wine Bistro menu is seasonal California cuisine specializing in local products. Pair your meal with wine from the Santa Barbara Winery, Lafond Winery or one from the list of wines from around the world. Happy Hour Monday - Friday 4:30 to 6:30 pm. The 1st Wednesday of each month is Passport to the World of Wine. Grilled cheese night every Thursday. Open for breakfast, lunch and dinner; catering available. www.pierrelafond.com

Renaud’s $ 3315 State Street (569-2400) Located in Loreto Plaza, Renaud’s is a bakery specializing in a wide selection of French pastries. The breakfast and lunch menu is composed of egg dishes, sandwiches and salads and represents Renaud’s personal favorites. Brewed coffees and teas are organic. Open Monday-Saturday 7 am to 5 pm, Sunday 7 am to 3 pm.

Rodney’s Steakhouse $$$633 East Cabrillo Boulevard (884-8554)Deep in the heart of well, deep in the heart of Fess Parker’s Doubletree Inn on East Beach in Santa Barbara. This handsome eatery sells and serves only Prime Grade beef, lamb, veal, halibut, salmon, lobster and other high-end victuals. Full bar, plenty of California wines, elegant surroundings, across from the ocean. Open for dinner Tuesday through Saturday at 5:30 pm. Reservations suggested on weekends.

Ojai

Maravilla $$$905 Country Club Road in Ojai (646-1111)Located at the Ojai Valley Inn & Spa, this upscale eatery features prime steaks, chops and fresh seafood. Local farmers provide fresh produce right off the vine, while herbs are har-vested from the Inn’s herb garden. The menu includes savory favorites like pan seared diver scallops and braised beef short ribs; dishes are accented with seasonal vegetables. Open Sun-day through Thursday for dinner from 5:30 pm to 9:30 pm, Friday and Saturday from 5:30 pm to 10 pm. •MJ

staying at the Cave Lodge outside of Soppong in the Thai jungle near the Burmese border for a few days, deep in opium country. Christmas was just over a week away at the time. There was no post office, no messenger service, no meaningful way to communicate with the outside world. And email just doesn’t work for some-thing like this. (Imagine the barrage of questions from a hostile gang of tech-savvy and inquisitive six- and four-year-old girls…”Why hasn’t he responded, Daddy?” or “How did you get his email address, Daddy?” or “Why don’t we just Skype him, Daddy, like we do with Grandma and Papa?” I may not be in top form, but I’m not walking into that one.)

Incidentally, the Cave Lodge is a fantastic place. On the outskirts of a remote Thai village and surrounded by beautiful country and a host of caves, it is a backpacker-type place consisting of a series of huts on the Lang River and a lodge that provides a nice place to relax, with simple but tasty food and drink. There’s exten-sive kayaking, trekking and (not sur-prisingly) caving, and Aussie-owner John Spies is connected and knowl-edgeable, having lived in and exten-sively explored the area for nearly three decades. John and his wife are also great hosts, quick with tall tales about their many (wild) years build-ing and running the Cave Lodge. (John has even written a book about his experience that is great to pick up and peruse… but it is presently only available at the Lodge.)

We spent one day on a bamboo raft floating through Tham Lod (“Through Cave”) and stopping with our guide to explore the inner sanctums of what is a massive and frankly stunning cave network. The river cave is teem-ing with fish inside and was a real hit with the kids. The same evening, we watched several hundred thousand

swallows circle lower and lower in the sky, finally flying at mach speed into Tham Lod at sunset; then we hiked back through the jungle to the lodge in the oily darkness. Another day, we set ourselves up on a secluded rocky river beach on the Lang and read and talked and played in the water. (Then we treated ourselves to a rustic but fantastic herbal sauna.) Simple, and a real treat for all of us.

Wendi and I stayed up late one night on our creaky porch, listening to the river and the sounds of the jungle and staring at a close moon and bright stars. We hadn’t talked for some time when a couple Kongming lanterns – aka “sky lanterns,” effectively mini-hot air balloons constructed from rice paper and wire (for those of you with young kids, think of the floating lights in Tangled) – floated into view down-river. They glowed brilliantly against the night sky.

We turned to each other and smiled. It turns out that my wife and I think quite a bit alike.

The next day, Lily and Kate wrote their note to Santa. That night, just before bed, we stood on the bank of the river with our very own sky lan-tern, waiting for a shift in the warm, gentle breeze. When it came, we made a wish and watched as our lantern floated north, burning brightly, with the handwritten dreams of two little girls securely fastened inside.

Peace and love and happy holidays to everybody. •MJ

LEAVING (Continued from page 17)

A sign just outside a Thai campground near Tham Lod, about a half-mile from Cave Lodge

Lily and Kate sending their note to Santa by way of Thai sky lantern


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From Baseball to Boston Pops

On Entertainmentby Steven Libowitz

Steven Libowitz has reported on the arts and entertainment for more than 30 years; he has contributed to Montecito Journal for over ten years.

If his hands were a little faster, his bat speed a little quicker and/or his move to first a little snappier,

Robert Bernhardt might be polishing relics in a trophy case and enjoying the spoils of his baseball income instead of conducting the Santa Barbara Symphony in its annual New Year’s Eve Pops concert. As it turns out, however, his skills were better suited to a rectangular concert stage than a baseball diamond, although his love for the game remains to this day. Indeed, even though hitting the twisty pitch was his ultimate undoing, he likes to toss a few curves at audiences by way of programming quirks, as evidenced by some of the selections for the concert that are off the base path if not quite out of left field.

Bernhardt – who would have been another Bobby B if he made it in baseball – shared his view on Pops concerts, sports, and rock ‘n’ roll in a laugh-filled, self deprecation-sprin-kled conversation over the phone from his home in Chattanooga earlier this month.

Q. This is your first time with the Santa Barbara Symphony, right?

A. That’s actually a trick question. It is my first time with the Pops, but around twenty – let me think – twen-ty-five years ago, I did guest conduct the symphony as part of a conductor search. That was way back in the day, in the Jurassic period. I think that’s when they hired Varujan Kojian. I did love my time with the orchestra, though. Don’t ask them, but I had a good time (laughs).

So you’ve forgiven them for not hir-ing you?

Everything all worked out the way it’s supposed to. It was a wonderful experience and I enjoyed it a lot. Now I’m wondering if any of my old col-leagues from USC are still there.

Okay then. How did your current con-nection to Santa Barbara come about?

Recently I’ve been working with the Baltimore Symphony, and there was a connection with a staffer. My wife knows Santa Barbara from earlier in her life, and I do too. What better place to spend New Year's. And a chance to do a really fun program.

I couldn’t pass that up. I like doing Pops concerts, especially when I can make some kind of connection with the audience. It’s a lot of fun for me.

Speaking of fun, I understand that you played baseball as a youngster and that you believe that had an influence on you as a conductor. Care to explain?

I played four years of varsity base-ball and soccer in Division 2 at Union College in Schenectady, New York. I got an invitation to rookie camp with the Kansas City Royals in Florida. I was there for a few days and they suggested I might consider music as a career.

Do you still follow baseball?Yeah, actually I do. Despite all the

trials and tribulations of the profes-sional ranks, I do follow the game. It’s still important. I was a big Dodger fan for my years in L.A., and I do remain somewhat loyal to the team that has been decimated by the owner. But mostly now I just like great players in the game... And I get tested for ste-roids before every concert.

You’ve spent a long time at both Louisville and Chattanooga. How do audi-ences in the south compare versus other locations?

Not to be too serious, but in these cities where I’ve had a long run, the thing that connects it all is that the audiences have allowed me to be myself. It’s a very natural and com-fortable thing for me. The connection to the community and musicians has to be solid, of course, but the opportu-nity to not be someone different when I’m on the podium is a real gift. It’s given me a very happy life for quite some time.

Can you talk about comparing Pops versus “more serious” classical concerts?

I’ve been doing symphonic music, opera, pops and education programs – all of them mixed up every year, all the time, for thirty years. So for me, it’s a great joy to be able to move from “Rigoletto” to a Beatles concert (with the Classic Mystery Tour) to a Mahler symphony to conducting behind Ben Folds. When I was a kid, I played in a rock band. I grew up with the music of the sixties simultaneous with my awakening to world of classical music. So it’s always been part of the same cloth for me.

So why didn’t you pursue rock ‘n’ roll? It was just like third base. I wasn’t

good enough. No, really, in my early twenties I stopped doing it actively. I was a singer-songwriter guitarist, and wrote some songs. I’d been in coffee houses and clubs, but when I went to grad school I found where I really needed to go. But it all becomes part of who you are, and it’s been signifi-cant in terms of influence later on. I’m not playing rock now, but it’s still hap-pening to me.

So wait, you still have the songs you wrote? Do you play them at home?

If they exist anymore, I don’t know. They were wonderful in my memory – and they should stay there so they stay that way. I do still have my Martin acoustic, and I play it once in a while, but I don’t have a lot of time.

Okay back to classical music: you’ve conducted the Boston Pops, the biggest and baddest of them all, many times.

I had my first invitation in 1992 from John Williams, who is one of my heroes. That meant the world. I’ve been going back ever since, and I’ve conducted thirty concerts over the years. I recently took the Esplanade Orchestra on a mini-tour of New England and I’ll be there again in May.

Can we talk about the New Year’s Eve program? What’s most exciting for you?

It’s a combination of a traditional New Year’s Eve concert and an espe-cially American version. So there’s some Strauss, and there’s a new suite of Dimitri Tiomkin music he wrote for It’s a Wonderful Life, which has only been available for about ten years. It’s somewhat dated but very, very charming, and ends with singalong of “Auld Lang Syne” to end the first half. We also play Leroy Anderson, lots of John Williams, an arrange-ment of the music of Duke Ellington that has eight or nine of his most famous melodies in a fantasy. Mila Daley (the guest soprano) will sing some operetta and Broadway songs. She’s trained in both opera and musi-cal theater and feels really at home in crossover concerts like this. We’re playing Alan Silvestri’s music from Polar Express and we’re closing with Williams’ Olympic fanfare from Seoul in 1988 – it’s both American goose-bumpy and international at the same time. The best aspiration of the human condition.

Is playing on New Year’s Eve extra special?

It is only in that it’s all celebratory. For me it’s just about being fun and entertaining, and if you’ll pardon the champagne analogy, effervescent.

Tickets to the 8:30pm Symphony Pops concert at the Granada Theatre on December 31 cost $35-$100. Call 899-2222 or visit www.granadasb.com

Robert Bernhardt returns to Santa Barbara on New Year’s Eve to conduct the Santa Barbara Symphony at the annual Pops concert at the Granada

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Picasso Meets EinsteinMuseums aren’t just for art any-

more. At least not here in Santa Barbara, where the Museum of Art basically blew apart its staid image several years ago with the advent of “Nights,” the popular happy hour gatherings that brought lots of folks to the downtown space for the first time. More recently, the gallery space has become a venue for live music and theater, the latter of which will happen again next Thursday, January 5, when Westmont theater professor Mitchell Thomas directs a dramatic reading of excerpts from Steve Martin’s Picasso at the Lapin Agile, to coincide with the tail end of the current “Picasso and Braque” exhibition. The reading features an 11-strong cast of talent-ed Santa Barbara thespians includ-ing Brian Harwell, Andrew Fromer, Vicki Finlayson and Jeff Mills in Martin’s imaginative fantasy about a fictional meeting between Einstein and the painter.

Thomas talked about the piece and the production recently.

Q. You’re really only performing this once, at the museum?

A. Yes, but because it’s a staged reading it’s not a fully memorized, fully staged performance. The actors will have scripts in hands. There will only be a couple of rehearsals, and the whole thing will be fast and dirty... It’s such a language-driven play that it can be enjoyed in a staged reading setting. You don’t need a lot of move-ment. The text has a lot of punch to it without the actors having to do all that much.

Still, performing in galleries – as you did when you produced and directed England at the museum and in The Fever pop-up shows last year – what challenges does that present?

It has more logistical require-ments. Where does the audience go? How do they know what to do? In a normal theater space, there are ritu-als you follow: get your ticket, pick up a program, sit down and then the lights dim. Things shift a bit here, but it’s fun for the audience. The material works on you in a slightly different way because you’re defens-es aren’t up the way they normally might be.

England was a very unsettling, extremely intimate, challenging piece of theater, one that opens up huge difficult questions. This, not so much. It’s a poetic, beautiful play, the what if in a conversation between and young Einstein and Picasso. But it’s much more funny than an existential mind-blowing thing. So the plan is to set up one of the gallery spaces as the Lapin Agile, which is the bohemian Parisian bar in 1904 where the play takes place. The audience comes in, has some

drinks at the bar, mingles around and then the performance will start.

What to you is the thrust of the play? It was written in [the mid-1990s]

and when it came out it was described as a love letter to the twentieth centu-ry of what truly mattered in the midst of all that happened. In Steve Martin’s opinion, Picasso and Einstein were two of the most important parts of the century – not just as individuals, but also what they represented. There’s a line in the play that talks about the pen of the artist, the line of the musi-cian and the theory of the mathemati-cian in transforming what it means to be human.

Now, we’re looking back at first decade of twenty-first century, which has been kind of mind-bog-gling already. Even in the last year alone, the Arab Spring, the Tea Party, Obamacare, social security being chal-lenged – it’s an interesting moment to stop and think what our century will be. If Picasso and Einstein were two of the greatest contributors of last century, who do we have? Any play that opens you up to asking those questions about your culture and the world is worth doing again and again, even if it’s been presented in town before.

Speaking of the culture, Westmont has become quite the theater spot in recent years, not just the quiet little Christian college up in the hills.

There is a lot going on, especially in the arts. We have the new arts center, a fantastic twenty-first century facility and now there’s a new black box space available for us in our own theater complex... People do have some ideas about us. My goal as chairman of the department is to help theater bring people together, like gathering around the campfire and sharing our sto-ries, finding our commonalities rather than our differences. Great stories are for everyone, Christian or atheist or whatever your views might be. So I do hope we do have a big impact on the community.

Picasso at the Lapin Agile will be performed at 5:30pm on January 5, 2012. Admission is free with admis-sion to the museum; limited to 60. Call 963-4364 or visit www.sbmuse art.org

Very SBIFF-yThe folks over at the Santa Barbara

International Film Festival are usual-ly quite tight-lipped about the actual film presentations until well after New Year's, but the opening night film had already been posted on the website by mid-December, and it looks to be a real winner. The 27th annual fest will debut on January 26 with the world premiere of Darling Companion, the latest from writer-director Lawrence Kasdan, whose resume includes big-budget block-busters like Star Wars: Episode VI - Return of the Jedi, Raiders of

the Lost Ark and The Bodyguard (as writer only) as well as nifty indie-style films that he both wrote and directed such as The Big Chill, Mumford, Body Heat and Grand Canyon. Darling Companion stars Diane Keaton, Kevin Kline, Dianne Wiest, Richard Jenkins, Sam Shepard and Elisabeth Moss. The film is being released by Sony Pictures Classic, so this is a pretty sizable coup and might very well be the doing of new SBIFF president Douglas R. Stone, a Montecito resident whose compa-nies represent talent, producers and films. Bodes well for the future. •MJ

Mitchell Thomas directs a dramatic reading of excerpts from Steve Martin’s Picasso at the Lapin Agile at the Museum of Art

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