the essential enneagram: the definitive personality test and self-discovery guide

TheEssentialEnneagram

TheDefinitivePersonalityTestandSelf-DiscoveryGuide—RevisedandUpdated

DavidN.Daniels,M.D.andVirginiaA.Price,Ph.D.

OriginallypublishedasTheStanfordEnneagramDiscoveryInventoryandGuide

Contents

AcknowledgmentsForewordbyHelenPalmer

Section1:HowtoDiscoverYourType

Part1:TheEssentialEnneagram

WhatIstheEnneagram?WhatIsTheEssentialEnneagram?TheProcessofSelf-DiscoveryandSelf-DevelopmentUsingTheEssential

EnneagramEssentialEnneagramTestInstructionsEssentialEnneagramTestLinkingParagraphstoTypesTheEnneagramFigureHowtoProceedUnderstandingtheTypeDeterminationPagesDetailedExplanationoftheTypeDeterminationPagesUnderstandingtheTypeDescriptionPagesDetailedExplanationoftheTypeDescriptionPages

Part2:HowtoDiscoverYourTypeandItsKeyFeatures

TypeOne:ThePerfectionistTypeTwo:TheGiver

TypeThree:ThePerformerTypeFour:TheRomanticTypeFive:TheObserverTypeSix:TheLoyalSkepticTypeSeven:TheEpicureTypeEight:TheProtectorTypeNine:TheMediator

SummaryofTypeDiscriminators

HowtoConfirmandVerifyYourType

HowtoBuildSelf-Understanding

Section2:WhattoDoWhenYouHaveDiscoveredYourType

Part1:GeneralPracticesandPrinciplesforAllTypes

TheGuidelinesforOptimalLearningBreathingandCenteringSteps:BuildingReceptiveAwarenessFiveGeneralPrinciplesElementsofPersonal,Professional,andSpiritualDevelopment:The

UniversalGrowthProcess

Part2:SpecificPracticesforEachType

PracticesforthePerfectionist(TypeOne)PracticesfortheGiver(TypeTwo)PracticesforthePerformer(TypeThree)PracticesfortheRomantic(TypeFour)PracticesfortheObserver(TypeFive)PracticesfortheLoyalSkeptic(TypeSix)

PracticesfortheEpicure(TypeSeven)PracticesfortheProtector(TypeEight)PracticesfortheMediator(TypeNine)

AppendixA:AdditionalEnneagramResourcesAppendixB:ValidityoftheEssentialEnneagramTestAbouttheAuthorsCopyrightAboutthePublisher

Acknowledgments

WegreatlyappreciatealltheindividualswhoparticipatedinthedevelopmentofTheEssentialEnneagram,originallypublishedasTheStanfordEnneagramDiscoveryInventoryandGuide(SEDIG),especiallytheEnneagramteacherswhoparticipatedintypinghundredsofindividuals.SpecialthanksgotoJudyDanielsforhermanyhoursoftechnicalsupportandencouragement.

Majorassistanceinwriting,formatting,andeditingwasprovidedbyPeterEnemark,CarolynM.Dawn,andKitSnyder.AssistanceintechnicalanddataanalysiswasprovidedbyGhassanGhandourandMichaelMenke.

Ouroriginalpublisher,RobbMostofMindGarden,Inc.,providedinspirationandsupportaswellasguidanceindesignandmarketing.Weextendourthankstoourpublisher,HarperOne,toJohnLoudon,whohelpedusmoveforwardwithourwork;toTerriLeonard,executivemanagingeditor,whoencouragedusalongtheway;toKrisAshley,forherencouragement,upbeatattitude,andconstantavailability;toLauraLeeMattinglyandAmandaWoodfortheirworkandsupportonthisupdatedandrevisededition,andtoEricBrandtforencouragingthisupdateandrevision.

WeusedthemethodsoftheNarrativeTraditionofSelf-DiscoveryandthesubstantivewayofunderstandingtheEnneagramdevelopedbyHelenPalmer.TheEssentialEnneagramisbasedontheunderstandingsandphilosophyofHelenPalmer,whosesupport,encouragement,andguidancewedeeplyappreciate.Heartfeltthanksgotomyteachingcolleagues,PeterO’HanrahanandTerrySaracino,fortheirextensivecontributiontomyunderstandingoftheEnneagram.IamespeciallygratefultoTerryforco-creatingtheUniversalGrowthProcesswithme.

Lastly,Iameternallygratefultomycoauthorandfriend,VirginiaPrice,whopassedawaybeforethisrevisionandupdatewasenvisioned.Sheremainsaninspirationandguide.

DavidN.Daniels,M.D.

Foreword

TheEssentialEnneagramoffersagroundbreakingandoriginalapproachtoakeyprobleminpersonalitystudy.Howdoyoucorrectlyfindyourplacewithinarichandcomplexsystemwhenthechoiceitselfrequiresknowingyourselfbeforehand?Inbringingtheircombinedtalentsanddeepscholasticcommitmenttothequestionofself-identification,DavidDanielsandVirginiaPricehavemadeitawholeloteasiertocorrectlydiscoveryourEnneagrampersonalityprofile,thusopeningawealthofinformationforbothpsychologicalandspiritualdevelopment.

Theirinnovativemethodlookslikeaguidedtourtodiscovering,confirming,andverifyingyourpersonalitytype.Youareprovidedwithkeycheckpointsalongthewaytomakesureyoustayontrack,andasetofsensitive,practicalexercisestoaidyourpersonaldevelopmentonceyou’vediscoveredyourtype.DavidandVirginiaarethefirstauthorstobringbothscientificvalidityandreliabilitystudiestotheEnneagram.Theirmethodofdeterminingpersonalitytypeisbasedonsevenyearsofresearchwithmorethan900subjects.

InSection1,theyprovideyouwiththeuser-friendly,short-paragraphtestthattheirsubjectsused.Theynextshowyoutheprobabilitythatthetypeyouchoseiscorrect,andprobabilitiesaretheabsolutebestthatanydepthpsychometricinstrumentcanprovide.Youarethenshownhowtoconfirmyourchoice,andexactlywhatstepstotakeifthischeckpointleadsyoutobelieveyouarenotthetypeyouoriginallychose.

Onceyou’recertainofyourEnneagramprofile,youmoveaheadtoSection2,wheretheauthorsgiveexcellentdailypracticesthatassistyouinbecomingmoreconsciouslyawareofhowyourtypeisorganized,itspositivefeatures,andhowtobreakfreeofthelimitsyourtypeimposesuponyou.TheEssentialEnneagramisbasedonprinciplesofself-awarenessthatIhavelongadvocated.Byprovidingelegantandprecisedescriptionsofhowdifferenttypesofpeopleareorganizedandmotivated,thisbookguidesyouinexploringhowyourplacementofattentionanduseofenergyfocusesyourworldview,howyoudealwithstressandanger,andwhatyoucandotodevelopyourselfandreceivesupportfromothers.

IfirsthadthepleasureofteachingwithDavidwhenweinitiatedthe

EnneagramProfessionalTrainingin1988,usingthepanelmethodofpersonalinquiry.Duringournowmanyyearsofcollaboration,Ihaveconsistentlyexperiencedhisinspiredclinicalacumen,warmthandcare,andprofoundunderstandingofhumanbehavioranddevelopment.Heisperhapsthemostpersonallyrespectedcontributorintoday’semergingfieldofEnneagramstudies.

Virginialikewisebringsextraordinaryinsightandclinicalexpertisetothiswork.Formorethantwentyyearsshehaspioneered,andauthoredseveralworksabout,thetheoreticalandpracticalaspectsofmodifyingtypeApersonalitybehavior.Herresearchandclinicalexperience,herunderstandingofthetheoreticalbasisofpersonalityfunction,andexcellentwritingskillshavecontributedgreatlytothisfieldofstudy.

Thesectionofthisbookentitled“WhattoDoWhenYouHaveDiscoveredYourType”isrootedinDavid’sandVirginia’sextensiveclinicalexperienceandtheirunderstandingofpeoplefromtheinsideout.Theirpresentationofgeneralmethodsforpersonalchangeandtheirtype-specificpracticesareexceptionallyvaluable.

Thislong-awaitedworkisamustforanyoneinterestedineffectivecommunication,compassionaterelationships,freedomfromtheconfinementofrepetitivebehavior,and,ultimately,thefreedomtobeacompletehumanbeing.

HelenPalmerJanuary2000Berkeley,California

SECTION1:HowtoDiscoverYourType

PART1:THEESSENTIALENNEAGRAMWHATISTHEENNEAGRAM?

TheEnneagramisapowerfulanddynamicpersonalitysystemthatdescribesninedistinctandfundamentallydifferentpatternsofthinking,feeling,andacting.“Ennea”isGreekfornine,and“gram”meansafigureorsomethingwritten.Hence,theEnneagrampersonalitysystemisrepresentedbyadiagramofanine-pointedstarwithinacircle.Eachoftheninepatternsisbasedonanexplicitperceptualfilterandassociateddrivingemotionalenergy.Thisiscongruentwiththewayourneuronsoperateaccordingtotheinterwovenflowofinformationandenergy.Thesepatternsdeterminewhatindividualsofeachpersonalitytypepayattentiontoandhowtheydirecttheirenergyandbehavior.Underlyingeachoftheninepatternsisabasicproposition,orbelief,aboutwhatweneedinlifeforsurvivalandsatisfaction.

Eachoneofusdevelopedoneoftheninepatternstoprotectaspecificaspectoftheselfthatfeltthreatenedasourownpersonalitywasdeveloping.AsyoudiscoveryourEnneagrampersonalitytype,youwilldiscovermoreaboutyouroriginalwholeself.Youwillalsounderstandmoreabouttheunconsciousmotivationfromwhichyouoperate.

DiscoveringyourEnneagrampersonalitytypecanhelpyoulearnhowtobringpositivechangeintoyourlife.Itcanhelpchangethewayyourelatetoyourselfandothersaswellasgiveyouagreaterunderstandingofthecircumstancesandissuesfacingyou.Moreover,itcangiveyoupowerfulassistanceinintegratingthepersonalandspiritualaspectsofyourlife,integrationbeingthelinkageofdifferentiatedelements.

WhatIsTheEssentialEnneagram?WedevelopedTheEssentialEnneagramasasimpleandaccuratewayforindividualstoidentifytheirEnneagrampersonalitytypeandasaguideforfurtherpersonal,professional,andspiritualdevelopment.

TheEssentialEnneagramTestconsistsofnineshortparagraphsthatdescribethefundamentalsofeachoftheninepersonalitytypes.Youadministerthistesttoyourselfbyreviewingthenineparagraphsandchoosingthethreeparagraphsthatseemmostlikeyou.Next,youputthethreeselectedparagraphsinorder,beginningwiththeonethatisthemostlikeyou.Thisprocesstakesonlyashorttimetocomplete.

Youthenproceedwithanadventureinself-discoverybyfollowingtheprocessdescribedinthisbook,whichguidesyouthroughthebasicterminologyoftheEnneagram,thedeterminationofyourpersonalitytype,acomprehensivedescriptionofyourtype,thekeydiscriminatorsdifferentiatingeachtypefromeveryothertype,andaseriesofpracticesforself-development—includingpracticestailoredspecificallytoyourtype.

AdistinctivefeatureoftheEssentialEnneagramTestisitsvalidationbyextensiveresearch.Weconductedavaliditystudyofjustunderonethousandindividuals.TheresultsofourresearchshowthattheEssentialEnneagramTesthasahighlevelofvalidityandreliability.WehaveincludedasummaryofthisresearchinappendixB.

ByusingTheEssentialEnneagraminthewaydescribedhere,youcandiscover,confirm,andverifyyourEnneagrampersonalitytypewithahighlevelofconfidence.PleasebearinmindthatthepurposeoftheEnneagramandthisbookisnottolabelyoubuttoaidyouinyourjourneyofself-understandingandself-development.Rememberthatyouareahumanbeingthatjusthappenstohaveapersonalitystructureortype.ByknowingyourEnneagrampersonalitytype,youcanbecomeawareofthehabitsofyourpersonalitythatlimityou,andyoucanfreeyourselffromthosehabits.

TheProcessofSelf-DiscoveryandSelf-DevelopmentUsingTheEssentialEnneagram

TheEssentialEnneagramwillguideyoustep-by-stepthroughtheprocessoftakingtheEnneagrampersonalitytest,discoveringandconfirmingyourcorrecttypeandpursuingapathofself-developmentonceyouknowyourpersonalitytype.Hereweprovideanoverviewofthatprocess.Whenyouhavereadthisoverview,keepreadingandyouwillseehowtobegin.

TakingtheEssentialEnneagramTest

First,youwillreadtheEssentialEnneagramTestinstructionsandtakethetest,whichinvolvesreadingnineshortparagraphsandchoosing

threeofthem.ThenyouwillturntoPart1tofindouthowtheparagraphsyouchosearelinkedtotheEnneagramtypes.

DiscoveringandConfirmingYourCorrectType

TheTypeDeterminationpagesandtheTypeDescriptionpagesarethetwokeytoolsyouwillusetodiscoverandbegintoconfirmyourtype.YouwillfinditusefultoreadtheexplanationsofboththeTypeDeterminationpagesandtheTypeDescriptionpages.ThengototheTypeDeterminationpagesofthetypeassociatedwithyourfirst-choiceparagraph.TheTypeDeterminationpageswillguideyoutotheappropriateTypeDescriptionpagesandprovideinstructionsonhowtoconfirmyourcorrecttype.Youcanfurtherconfirmyourcorrecttypebyreferringtothe“SummaryofTypeDiscriminators,”beginningonPart1.Thefinalstepistoread“HowtoConfirmandVerifyYourType”onPart1.

WhattoDoWhenYouHaveDiscoveredYourType

First,readthefivegeneralprinciplesthatapplytoallnineEnneagramtypesandfollow,asdesired,thepracticesbasedonthosefiveprinciples.Thenreadandfollowthefiveself-developmentpracticesassociatedwithyourspecifictype.

HowtoBegin

FollowtheinstructionsbelowandcompletetheEssentialEnneagramTestonPart1.

EssentialEnneagramTestInstructionsFollowingarenineparagraphsthatdescribeninedifferentpersonalitytypes.Noneofthesepersonalitytypesisbetterorworsethananyother.EachparagraphismeanttobeasimplesnapshotofoneofthenineEnneagramtypes.Noparagraphisintendedtobeacomprehensivedescriptionofan

individual’spersonality.

1. Readthedescriptionsandpickthethreeparagraphsthatfityoubest.Eachofthenineparagraphsmaydescribeyoutosomedegree,butchoosethethreethatseemmostlikeyou.

2. Numbertheseparagraphsfrom1to3,with1beingtheparagraphthatseemsmostlikeyou,2theparagraphnextmostlikeyou,and3thethirdmostlikeyou.

Inmakingyourselections,considereachparagraphasawholeratherthanconsideringeachsentenceoutofthecontextofitsparagraph.Askyourself,“Doesthisparagraphasawholefitmebetterthananyoftheotherparagraphs?”

Ifyoufinditdifficulttochoosethethreeparagraphsmostlikeyou,thinkaboutwhichdescriptionssomeoneclosetoyouwouldselecttodescribeyou.Becausepersonalitypatternsareusuallymostprominentbeforewebeginworkonpersonaldevelopment,youmayalsoaskyourselfwhichofthesepatternswouldhavebestdescribedyoubeforeyoubegananysuchwork.

RecordingYourSelections

Afterreadingtheparagraphsandselectingthethreemostlikeyou,recordtheparagraphsyouselected:Firstchoice: A B C D E F G H ISecondchoice: A B C D E F G H IThirdchoice: A B C D E F G H I

3.Onceyouhavechosenthethreeparagraphsandrecordedthem,turntoPart1tofindouthowthoseparagraphsarelinkedtotheEnneagramtypes.

EssentialEnneagramTest

A.Iapproachthingsinanall-or-nothingway,especiallyissuesthatmattertome.Iplacealotofvalueonbeingstrong,honest,anddependable.Whatyouseeiswhatyouget.Idon’ttrustothersuntiltheyhaveproventhemselvestobereliable.Ilikepeopleto

bedirectwithme,andIknowwhensomeoneisbeingdevious,lying,ortryingtomanipulateme.Ihaveahardtimetoleratingweaknessinpeople,unlessIunderstandthereasonfortheirweaknessorIseethatthey’retryingtodosomethingaboutit.IalsohaveahardtimefollowingordersordirectionifIdonotrespectoragreewiththepersoninauthority.Iammuchbetterattakingchargemyself.IfinditdifficultnottodisplaymyfeelingswhenIamangry.Iamalwaysreadytostickupforfriendsorlovedones,especiallyifIthinktheyarebeingtreatedunjustly.Imaynotwineverybattlewithothers,butthey’llknowI’vebeenthere.

B.Ihavehighinternalstandardsforcorrectness,andIexpectmyselftoliveuptothosestandards.It’seasyformetoseewhat’swrongwiththingsastheyareandtoseehowtheycouldbeimproved.Imaycomeacrosstosomepeopleasoverlycriticalordemandingperfection,butit’shardformetoignoreoracceptthingsthatarenotdonetherightway.IpridemyselfonthefactthatifI’mresponsiblefordoingsomething,youcanbesureI’lldoitright.Isometimeshavefeelingsofresentmentwhenpeopledon’ttrytodothingsproperlyorwhenpeopleactirresponsiblyorunfairly,althoughIusuallytrynottoshowittothemopenly.Forme,itisusuallyworkbeforepleasure,andIsuppressmydesiresasnecessarytogettheworkdone.

C.Iseemtobeabletoseeallpointsofviewprettyeasily.ImayevenappearindecisiveattimesbecauseIcanseeadvantagesanddisadvantagesonallsides.Theabilitytoseeallsidesmakesmegoodathelpingpeopleresolvetheirdifferences.Thissameabilitycansometimesleadmetobemoreawareofotherpeople’spositions,agendas,andpersonalprioritiesthanofmyown.ItisnotunusualformetobecomedistractedandthentogetofftaskontheimportantthingsI’mtryingtodo.Whenthathappens,myattentionisoftendivertedtounimportant,trivialtasks.Ihaveahardtimeknowingwhatisreallyimportanttome,andIavoidconflictbygoingalongwithwhatotherswant.Peopletendtoconsidermetobeeasygoing,pleasing,andagreeable.Ittakesalottogetmetothepointofshowingmyangerdirectlyatsomeone.Ilikeforlifetobecomfortableandharmoniousandforotherstobeacceptingofme.

D.Iamsensitivetootherpeople’sfeelings.Icanseewhattheyneed,evenwhenIdon’tknowthem.Sometimesit’sfrustratingtobesoawareofpeople’sneeds,especiallytheirpainorunhappiness,becauseI’mnotabletodoasmuchforthemasI’dliketo.It’seasyformetogiveofmyself.IsometimeswishIwerebetteratsayingno,becauseIendupputtingmoreenergyintocaringforothersthanintotakingcareofmyself.IthurtsmyfeelingsifpeoplethinkI’mtryingtomanipulateorcontrolthemwhenallI’mtryingtodoisunderstandandhelpthem.Iliketobeseenasawarmheartedandgoodperson,butwhenI’mnottakenintoaccountorappreciatedIcanbecomeveryemotionalorevendemanding.Goodrelationshipsmeanagreatdealtome,andI’mwillingtoworkhardtomakethemhappen.

E.BeingthebestatwhatIdoisastrongmotivatorforme,andIhavereceivedalotofrecognitionovertheyearsformyaccomplishments.IgetalotdoneandamsuccessfulinalmosteverythingItakeon.IidentifystronglywithwhatIdo,becausetoalargedegreeIthinkyourvalueisbasedonwhatyouaccomplishandtherecognitionyougetforit.Ialwayshavemoretodothanwillfitintothetimeavailable,soIoftensetasidefeelingsandself-reflectioninordertogetthingsdone.Becausethere’salwayssomethingtodo,Ifindithardtojustsitanddonothing.Igetimpatientwithpeoplewhodon’tusemytimewell.SometimesIwouldratherjusttakeoveraprojectsomeoneiscompletingtooslowly.Iliketofeelandappear“ontop”ofanysituation.WhileIliketocompete,Iamalsoagoodteamplayer.

F.Iwouldcharacterizemyselfasaquiet,analyticalpersonwhoneedsmoretimealonethanmostpeopledo.Iusuallyprefertoobservewhatisgoingonratherthanbeinvolvedinthemiddleofit.Idon’tlikepeopletoplacetoomanydemandsonmeortoexpectmetoknowandreportwhatIamfeeling.I’mabletogetintouchwithmyfeelingsbetterwhenalonethanwithothers,andIoftenenjoyexperiencesI’vehadmorewhenrelivingthemthanwhenactuallygoingthroughthem.I’malmostneverboredwhenalone,becauseIhaveanactivementallife.Itisimportantformetoprotectmytimeandenergyand,hence,toliveasimple,uncomplicatedlifeandbeasself-sufficientaspossible.

G.Ihaveavividimagination,especiallywhenitcomestowhatmightbethreateningtosafetyandsecurity.Icanusuallyspotwhatcouldbedangerousorharmfulandmayexperienceasmuchfearasifitwerereallyhappeningorjustquestionorchallengethesituationandnotexperiencefear.Ieithertendtoavoiddangerortendtochallengeithead-on.Infact,sometimesIdonotexperiencemuchfearsinceIgointoactionwithlittlehesitation.Myimaginationalsoleadstomyingenuityandagood,ifsomewhatoffbeat,senseofhumor.Iwouldlikeforlifetobemorecertain,butingeneralIseemtodoubtorquestionthepeopleandthingsaroundme.Icanusuallyseetheshortcomingsintheviewsomeoneisputtingforward.Isupposethat,asaconsequence,somepeoplemayconsidermetobeveryastute.Itendtobesuspiciousofauthorityandamnotparticularlycomfortablebeingseenastheauthority.BecauseIcanseewhatiswrongwiththegenerallyheldviewofthings,Itendtoidentifywithunderdogcauses.OnceIhavecommittedmyselftoapersonorcause,Iamveryloyaltoit.

H.Iamanoptimisticpersonwhoenjoyscomingupwithnewandinterestingthingstodo.Ihaveaveryactivemindthatquicklymovesbackandforthbetweendifferentideas.Iliketogetaglobalpictureofhowalltheseideasfittogether,andIgetexcitedwhenIcanconnectconceptsthatinitiallydon’tappeartoberelated.Iliketoworkonthingsthatinterestme,andIhavealotofenergytodevotetothem.Ihaveahardtimestickingwithunrewardingandrepetitivetasks.Iliketobeinonthebeginningofaproject,duringtheplanningphase,whentheremaybemanyinterestingoptionstoconsider.WhenIhaveexhaustedmyinterestinsomething,itisdifficultformetostaywithit,becauseIwanttomoveontothenextthingthathascapturedmyinterest.Ifsomethinggetsmedown,Iprefertoshiftmyattentiontomorepleasantideas.Ibelievepeopleareentitledtoanenjoyablelife.

I.Iamasensitivepersonwithintensefeelings.Ioftenfeelmisunderstoodandlonely,becauseIfeeldifferentfromeveryoneelse.Mybehaviorcanappearlikedramatoothers,andIhavebeencriticizedforbeingoverlysensitiveandoveramplifyingmyfeelings.Whatisreallygoingoninsideismylongingforbothemotionalconnectionandadeeplyfeltexperienceof

relationship.IhavedifficultyfullyappreciatingpresentrelationshipsbecauseofmytendencytowantwhatIcan’thaveandtodisdainwhatIdohave.Thesearchforemotionalconnectionhasbeenwithmeallmylife,andtheabsenceofemotionalconnectionhasledtomelancholyanddepression.IsometimeswonderwhyotherpeopleseemtohavemorethanIdo—betterrelationshipsandhappierlives.Ihavearefinedsenseofaesthetics,andIexperiencearichworldofemotionsandmeaning.

Important:

PleasebesureyouhavecompletedtheEssentialEnneagramTestbeforereadinganyfurther.

LinkingParagraphstoTypes

Findthetypesthatcorrespondtoeachoftheparagraphsyouchose.

TestParagraphAEnneagramTypeType8TypeDeterminationPagesTypeEight:TheProtector

TestParagraphBEnneagramTypeType1TypeDeterminationPagesTypeOne:ThePerfectionist

TestParagraphCEnneagramTypeType9TypeDeterminationPagesTypeNine:TheMediator

TestParagraph

DEnneagramTypeType2TypeDeterminationPagesTypeTwo:TheGiver

TestParagraphEEnneagramTypeType3TypeDeterminationPagesTypeThree:ThePerformer

TestParagraphFEnneagramTypeType5TypeDeterminationPagesTypeFive:TheObserver

TestParagraphGEnneagramTypeType6TypeDeterminationPagesTypeSix:TheLoyalSkeptic

TestParagraphHEnneagramTypeType7TypeDeterminationPagesTypeSeven:TheEpicure

TestParagraphIEnneagramTypeType4TypeDeterminationPagesTypeFour:TheRomantic

TheEnneagramFigure

“Ennea”isGreekfornine,and“gram”meansfigureorsomethingwritten.Theword“Enneagram”thenreferstoanine-pointedstarthatisshowninsideacircle.

ThearrowsonthisdiagramindicatethestressandsecuritytypesassociatedwitheachEnneagrampersonalitytype.Thestresstypeisinthedirectionofthearrow,andthesecuritytypeisawayfromthearrow.SeePart1foranexplanationofsecurityandstresstypes.

HowtoProceed

BythistimeyouhavetakentheEssentialEnneagramTestandlinkedyourfirst-,second-,andthird-choiceparagraphstotheirrespectiveEnneagramtypes.

NowyouarereadytoreadtheexplanationoftheTypeDeterminationandTypeDescriptionpages,whicharecriticaltodeterminingyourtype.TheTypeDeterminationandTypeDescriptionpagesarethemainpartofTheEssentialEnneagramguidetopersonalitytype.Toidentify,confirm,andverifyyourcorrecttype,itiscrucialtounderstandtheterminologyandformatoftheTypeDeterminationandTypeDescriptionpages.

UnderstandingtheTypeDeterminationPages

TheTypeDeterminationpagestellyouwhattheprobabilityisthattheparagraphyouselectedasyourfirstchoiceisyourcorrectpersonalitytype.Italsotellsyouwhattheprincipalalternativepossibilitiesareforyourcorrecttypegivenyourfirst-choiceparagraph.Thisquantitativeinformationwillhelpyoudetermineyourcorrectpersonalitytype.

TheprobabilitiesthatappearontheTypeDeterminationpageswerediscoveredthroughextensiveresearchconductedontheEssentialEnneagramTest.AsummaryofthatresearchcanbefoundinappendixB.

Figure1showsyouthelayoutoftheTypeDeterminationpages.Adetailedexplanationofthesepagesfollowsfigure1.

Figure1—TypeDeterminationPagesLayout

EnneagramTypeThenumberanddescriptivetitleofeachEnneagramtype.

TypeDeterminationThesetwofacingpagesthathelpyoudeterminewhichtypesarelikelytobeyouractualtype.

ConnectedTypesThefourpersonalitytypesthatareassociatedwithyourbasictype.

Non-connectedTypesThepersonalitytypesthatmostoftenmanifestcharacteristicssimilartoyourbasictype.

ProbabilityofTypesTheprobabilitythatyoumightbeatypeotherthantheoneassociatedwithyourfirst-choiceparagraph.

MythsAboutTypeStereotypesaboutthetypesthatleadtofalsebeliefsandtoinadvertentrejectionofthetype.

AdjectivesDescribingtheTypeTheadjectivesthatserveasausefulsupplementindeterminingtype.

DetailedExplanationoftheTypeDeterminationPages

Thefollowingparagraphsrefertofigure1.

TitleofTypeThetitleofeachtypeisself-evident.

TypeDeterminationThefirsttwofacingpagesforeachtypearelabeledTypeDeterminationbecausetheyhelpyoudetermineifthetypeyouchoseasyourfirstchoiceisyourcorrecttype.Thesepagesshowtheprobabilitythatyouareinfactyourfirst-choicetype.Theyalsoshowtheprobabilitiesthatyoumightbeanothertype—morespecifically,theprobabilitythatyoumightbeoneoftheconnectedtypesoroneofthenon-connectedlook-aliketypesassociatedwithyourfirstchoice.Youmightalsobeyoursecond-orthird-choicetype.

ConnectedTypesEachEnneagrampersonalitytypehasfourconnectedtypes(thetwowingsandthesecurityandstresstypes).ThesearethefourpersonalitytypesassociatedwitheachbasicpersonalitytypeaccordingtoEnneagrampersonalitytheory.TheTypeDeterminationpagesshowthefourconnectedtypesforeachcorrespondingEnneagramtype.Rememberthatyoumaybeoneoftheconnectedtypesassociatedwithyourfirstchoice.

Wings

Twooftheconnectedtypesarecalledwings.TheyarethepersonalitytypesoneithersideofyourtypeontheEnneagramdiagram.Forexample,ifyouareaPerformer(TypeThree),thenthetwopersonalitytypesthatareyourwingsaretheGiver(TypeTwo)andtheRomantic(TypeFour).IfyouaretheMediator(TypeNine),thenyourtwowingsaretheProtector(TypeEight)andthe

Perfectionist(TypeOne).AccordingtoEnneagramtheory,yourpersonalitytypeisinfluencedbyoneorbothofthepersonalitytypesthatareyourwings.

SecurityTypeandStressType

Theothertwoconnectedtypesarecalledthesecuritytypeandthestresstype.Yourstresstypeisthepersonalitytypeyoushiftintowhenyoufeelstressedandpressuredorwhenyouaremobilizingforaction.OntheEnneagramfigure,thestresstypeisindicatedbythedirectiontowhichthearrowpoints.Yoursecuritytypeisthepersonalitytypeyoushifttowardwhenyoufeelrelaxedandsecureor,paradoxically,whenyoufeeloverwhelmedorexhausted.OntheEnneagramfigure,thesecuritytypeisthedirectionawayfromthearrow.EachEnneagramtypehasitsownsecuritytypeanditsownstresstype.Whenyoushiftintoyourstresstypeoryoursecuritytype,youmayshoweitherthehigherqualitiesorthelowerqualitiesofthattypedependingonthecircumstances.

Althoughtheexistenceofconnectedtypesinfluencingyouractualpersonalitytypetendstocomplicatetheprocessofidentifyingyourcorrecttype,theyalsomaketheEnneagramsystemofpersonalityarichanddynamicsystemandhelpaccountforthefactthateachofusisunique.

Non-connectedTypesNon-connectedtypesarepersonalitytypesontheEnneagramthatcanbearadefinitesimilarityorevenlookalikeforsomereasonotherthanthattheyarewingsorstressorsecuritytypes.WhenyouchooseparagraphsontheEssentialEnneagramTestthatseemmostlikeyou,youmayinadvertentlychooseoneofyournon-connectedlook-aliketypesinsteadofyouractualtype.TheproceduredescribedontheTypeDeterminationpageswillhelpyoudiscoverifatypeyouchooseonthetestisyourcorrectpersonalitytypeoralook-alikeofyourcorrectpersonalitytype.

ProbabilityofTypesResearchwiththeEssentialEnneagramTestshowstheprobabilitythatyouareaparticulartypegiventheparagraphyouselectedasyourfirstchoice.EachTypeDeterminationsectionincludesatablelistingtheseprobabilities.Forexample,lookatPart1,TypeOne.IfonehundredpeoplechooseparagraphBastheirfirstchoiceontheEssentialEnneagramTest,thensixty-sixofthosepeoplewillhaveTypeOneastheireventualcorrecttype.However,eightoftheonehundredpeoplewilleventuallyfindthatTypeFouristheircorrecttype,andanothereightwill

findthatTypeSixistheircorrecttype.Furthermore,someotherswilldiscoverthattheyareoneoftheirlowerprobabilitytypes,eithertheirsecondorthirdchoice,oralook-aliketype.

MythsAbouttheTypeStereotypesdevelopabouteachofthetypesthatinvolvefalsebeliefsaboutthetype.Sometimesthisleadstomisunderstandingsaboutthetypeandrejectionofthetypeasthecorrecttype.Whenyouarechoosingatype,besuretoincludeconsiderationofthefalsebeliefsormisconceptionsaboutthetype.Thenyouwillnotinadvertentlyrejectthistype.

AdjectivesDescribingtheTypeTheseadjectivescanhelpintypedeterminationifmostofthemdescribeyou,thuspointingtoagoodfit.Sincesomeare“negative”descriptors,assessinghowwelltheydescribeyourequiresbeingcandidandwillingtobenon-judgmentaltowardyourself.Weallhavesome“negative”characteristics.

UnderstandingtheTypeDescriptionPages

TheTypeDescriptionpagesprovideyouwithadetaileddescriptionofthepropertiesandcharacteristicsofeachofthenineEnneagramtypes.Thisqualitativeinformationwillhelpyouconfirmthatyouhaveselectedyourcorrectpersonalitytype.ThewealthofinformationontheTypeDescriptionpageswillhelpyouunderstandyourtypemoreclearlyandthoroughly.Thesepagesalsodescribethepathofpersonaldevelopmentforeachtype.

Figure2showsyouthelayoutoftheTypeDescriptionpages.Adetailedexplanationofthesepagesfollowsfigure2.

Figure2—TypeDescriptionPagesLayout

EnneagramTypeThenumberanddescriptivetitleofeachEnneagramtype.

TypeDescriptionThesetwofacingpagesthatprovidedetailsonthepersonalitytype.

TheBasicPropositionDescriptionoftheevolutionofthepersonalitytypeandthecorebeliefsofthetype.

PrincipalCharacteristicsDescriptionofthebasiccharacteristicsofthestrategythatthetypehasdeveloped.

Stress,Anger,andDefensivenessDescriptionofthecauseandnatureofstressandangerforthetype.

PersonalDevelopmentKeyinformationaboutpersonaldevelopmentforthetype.

DetailedExplanationoftheTypeDescriptionPages

Thefollowingparagraphsrefertofigure2.

TitleofTypeThetitleofeachtypeisself-evident.

TypeDescriptionThesecondtwofacingpagesforeachtypearelabeledTypeDescriptionpagesbecausetheydescribeeachpersonalitytypeindetail.Thesepagesalsoincludeideasabouthowtouseknowledgeofyourpersonalitytypeforself-development.EachoftheTypeDescriptionpagesfollowsalogicalsequence,beginningwiththebasicpropositionofeachtype.

TheBasicPropositionThebasicpropositionconsistsofthreeparts:

ThefundamentalprincipleIlostsightof:Abasictruthaboutlifethatmyearlyexperiencesandnaturaltendenciesledmetolosesightofwhilemypersonalitywasforming.WhatIcametobelieveinstead:Thecorebeliefthatgrewoutofmyearlyexperiencesandnaturaltendenciesthatcausedtheoriginalfundamentalprincipletofadeintothebackground.TheadaptivestrategyIdevelopedasaresultofthisbelief:TheadaptiveandcopingorsurvivalstrategyIdevelopedbecauseofthiscorebeliefinordertopreserveasenseofsecurity,love,andworth.

PrincipalCharacteristicsThesecondsectionoftheTypeDescriptionpagesdescribestheprincipalcharacteristicsassociatedwiththestrategyeachtypedeveloped.

Becauseofthisstrategy,myattentionison:Whateverisrequiredtosupportandsustaintheparticularadaptiveandsurvivalstrategyofmytype,includingmy“blindspots”—thatwhichisnotseen.Iputmyenergyinto:Whateverisrequiredbymyhabitofattention,sincebehaviorfollowsattentionandassociatedemotionalenergy.IdoeverythingIcantoavoid:Whateverwouldthreatenthebasicadaptiveandsurvivalstrategyofmytype,includingmydeepestconcernsandfears,manyofwhichareunconscious.Mystrengths:Thepositivequalitiesthatdevelopoutofandareassociatedwiththespecificadaptiveandsurvivalstrategyofmytype.Mycommunicationstyle:Thewaymytypeexpressesitself,bothpositivesandnegatives.

Stress,Anger,andDefensivenessThethirdsectiondiscussesthestress,anger,anddefensivenessassociated

witheachtype:Whatcausesmestress:Thesituationsandcircumstancesthatcausestressanddistressformypersonalitytype.Whatmakesmeangryanddefensive:Thespecificfactors,usuallyhurtfeelingsandexperiencedviolations,thatevokeangerinmytype.Thenatureofmyangeranddefensiveness:Theformthattheangryordefensiveresponsesofmytypeusuallytakes.

PersonalDevelopmentThefourthsectionpresentsinformationaboutpersonaldevelopmentforeachtype.

Theultimategoalofmydevelopment:RecallingandrecoveringthefundamentalprincipleIlostsightofduringthedevelopmentofmypersonality.HowIcanfurthermypersonaldevelopment:Thetype-specificawareness,steps,practices,andacceptancerequiredtofurthermypersonaldevelopment(seealso“WhattoDoWhenYouHaveDiscovered

YourType,”whichbeginsonPart2.)Whathindersmypersonaldevelopment:Thespecificfactorsandresistancethatimpedemypersonaldevelopment,includingthecorebeliefthathindersmydevelopment.Howotherscansupportmydevelopment:Thekindofencouragementandactionsofothersthatareappropriateformytype.

PART2:HOWTODISCOVERYOURTYPEANDITSKEYFEATURES

NowturntotheTypeDeterminationpagesassociatedwiththeEnneagramtypethatcorrespondstoyourfirst-choiceparagraph.Thereyouwillfindinstructionsonhowtoproceedindiscoveringyourtype.

Keepanopenmindasyoutakethestepstodiscoveryourtype.Trytostayawayfromprematurejudgments;thatis,waituntilafteryouhavereadalltheTypeDescriptionpagesofyourlikelytypes.WhiletheEssentialEnneagramTestishighlyaccurate,itcannotguaranteethatyouwillcorrectlyselectyourpersonalitytype.Rememberthatyourintuitioncanbeausefultooltohelpyouknowwhatyourcorrecttypeis.

Continueyourlearningbyconfirmingyourtypeforyourself,verifyingyourtypewithothers,andobservingyourownthoughts,feelings,andphysicalsensations.Theseprocessesaredescribedin“HowtoConfirmandVerifyYourType,”onPart1,andin“HowtoBuildSelf-Understanding,”onPart1.YoucanalsolearnmoreaboutyourEnneagramtypefromthebooks,tapes,andotherEnneagramresourceslistedinappendixA.

ThenbegintheworkofpersonalandprofessionaldevelopmentusingtheknowledgeofyourEnneagramtype.Thesection“WhattoDoWhenYouHaveDiscoveredYourType”suggestsanumberofpracticesthatwillhelpyoubecomemoreawareofhowyourpersonalityfunctions,takeactiontochangeyourhabitualbehavior,previewandreviewyourprogressinself-development,practiceapplicationofthe“4As”oftheUniversalGrowthProcess,andreflectontheultimategoalofyourdevelopment.

Aboveall,rememberthatyouaremorethanapersonalitytype:youarealsoahumanbeingwhojusthappenstohaveahabitofmindasanadaptiveandsurvivalstrategy.TheEnneagramisaboutdiscoveringthe“box”youareinsothatyoucangetoutoftheconfinesofthat“box”andbecomeamorewholehumanbeing.

TypeOne:ThePerfectionistTypeDetermination

ConnectedTypes

WingMediator9

WingGiver2

SecurityTypeEpicure7

StressTypeRomantic4

Non-connectedTypesMostCommonLook-alikeTypesPerformer3LoyalSkeptic6Protector8

ProbabilityofTypesTypestoconsidergiventhatPerfectionistwasyourfirstchoice66%Perfectionist18%Romantic48%LoyalSkeptic67%Giver25%Mediator9

IftheparagraphaboutthePerfectionistwasyourfirstchoice,thereisa66percentprobabilitythatthisisyourtype.ReadthePerfectionistTypeDescriptionpagesthatfollowtoseeiftheyaccuratelydescribeyourpersonality.Thesepagescanalsohelpyougaininsightintohowyouperceivetheworldandwhatyoucandotoenhanceyourpersonaldevelopment.

IfyouarenotcertainthatthedescriptionofthePerfectionisttypefitsyou,thenconsideryoursecondandthirdparagraphchoicesandtheotherprobabletypesidentifiedonthefacingpage.ComparethesetypestothePerfectionistbyreviewingtheTypeDescriptionpagesforyourotherlikelypossibilities.Alsoconsiderthemythsabouttypeandthekeyadjectivesforyourlikelytypes.

Whetheryouarereadytoconfirmyourchoiceoftype,orarestillunsure,turntotheTypeDiscriminatorpagesbeginningonPart1.Thesepagesidentifythecharacteristicsthatdistinguisheachtypefromeveryothertype.

MythsAbouttheType

Onesareoftendescribedas“neatfreaks”andasinflexible.Infact,whatOnesrigidlyadheretoandjudgeasrightorwrongdependsonthecontentofeachOne’sinternalstandards,whichcanvarygreatly.Thus,forexample,ifaOneholdsthestandardthatbeingflexibleistherightwaytobeandmaintainingneatnessandorderisawasteoftime,thenthatpersonwillnotbeparticularlyneatandwillbejudgmentalabouttheinflexibilityofothers.

AdjectivesDescribingtheType

Conscientious,responsible,improvement-oriented,consistent,self-controlled,precise,highstandards,clear,detail-oriented,andcaring,butalsosometimescritical,inflexible,opinionated,judgmental,resentful,andself-judging.

TypeOne:ThePerfectionistTypeDescription

TheBasicProposition

ThefundamentalprincipleIlostsightof:Wearealloneandareperfectasweare.WhatIcametobelieveinstead:Peoplearenotacceptedforwhotheyare.Theirgoodbehaviorisexpectedandtakenforgranted.Theirbadbehaviorandimpulsesarejudgednegativelyandpunished.TheadaptivestrategyIdevelopedasaresultofthisbelief:Ilearnedtogainloveandself-regardbybeinggood,responsible,andconscientious,doingthingsthecorrectway,meetingmyhighinternalstandards,andfollowingtherules.Isuppressedangeranddevelopedtensionandresentment.

PrincipalCharacteristics

Becauseofthisstrategy,myattentionison:Rightandwrong,whatshouldbecorrected.Therightnessandwrongnessofotherpeople’sbehaviorcomparedtomine.Self-criticismandothers’criticismofme.My“blindspots”arethegrayzonebetweenblackandwhiteandoftentobothurgeanddesire.Iputmyenergyinto:Gettingthingsright.Issuesaboutintegrity.Maintainingstandardsjudgedtobeimportant.Beingresponsibleandself-reliant.Suppressingpersonalneedsandnaturaldesires.IdoeverythingIcantoavoid:Makingmistakes.Losingself-control.Violatingsocialnorms.Atthecore,beingsowrong/badthatI’mtotallyunworthyofloveandregard.Mystrengths:Integrity.Concernforimprovement.Puttingforthalotofeffort.Idealism.Self-reliance.Industriousness.Keeperofhighstandards.Self-restraint.Beinghighlyresponsible.Mycommunicationstyle:Beingprecise,clear,direct,andorientedtowardrightandwrong.Othersmayperceivemeasoverlydetailed,judgmental,critical,limiting,orclosed-minded.

Stress,Anger,andDefensivenes

Whatcausesmestress:Notbeingabletoquietmyinternalcriticandtheassociatedanxietyandworry.Feelingoverburdenedbyasenseofpersonalresponsibilityandconscientiousness.Toomucherrortocorrect.Toomuchthatmustbedoneright.Tryingtoletgoofresentmentsandassociatedtension.Othersblamingmeornottakingresponsibilityfortheirmistakes.Whatmakesmeangryanddefensive:Unfairness.Irresponsibility.Thingsbeingdonethewrongway.Theignoringordisobeyingofrulesandstandards.Beingunjustlycriticized.Thenatureofmyangeranddefensiveness:Resentment.Self-justification.Tensionandtightness.Blamingothers.Outburstsofindignation.

PersonalDevelopment

Theultimategoalofmydevelopment:Torealizethatweareallperfectasweare(completeandwhole),thatourworthandwell-beingareinherentandnotdependentonourbeingrightorwrong.HowIcanfurthermypersonaldevelopment:ObservingthewayIconstantlymonitorgoodandbad.Appreciatingthatthereismorethanonerightwayandthatothers’“wrong”waysmaysimplybeindividualdifferences.Accepting“imperfections”inmyselfandothers.Practicingforgivingmyselfandothers,andlettinggoofjudgments.Allowingfreetimeforpleasureandrelaxation.Questioningrigidrulesandinternalstrictness.Usingresentmentasacluetosuppressedwantsorneeds.Integratingmydesiresandnaturalimpulsesintomylife.Whathindersmypersonaldevelopment:Myinternalcriticnotacceptingmyselforothersasgoodenough.Worryaboutgettingitrightleadingtoprocrastinationortoomuchattentiontodetail.Toomuchworkandtoolittleplay.Atthecore,thebeliefthatImustbegood/righttobeworthyandloved.Howotherscansupportmydevelopment:Encouragingmetogoeasyonmyselfandtotaketimeformyself.Providingmewithanonjudgmentalviewpoint.Remindingmethatthegoalinlifeistobehuman,nottobewithoutfault.

TypeTwo:TheGiver

TypeDetermination

ConnectedTypes

WingPerfectionist1

WingPerformer3

SecurityTypeRomantic4

StressTypeProtector8

Non-connectedTypesMostCommonLook-alikeTypesEpicure7Mediator9

ProbabilityofTypesTypestoconsidergiventhatGiverwasyourfirstchoice65%Giver28%Epicure78%Mediator97%Romantic45%Perfectionist1

IftheGiverparagraphwasyourfirstchoice,thereisa65percentprobabilitythatthisisyourtype.ReadtheGiverTypeDescriptionpagesthatfollowtoseeiftheyaccuratelydescribeyourpersonality.Thesepagescanalsohelpyougaininsightintohowyouperceivetheworldandwhatyoucandotoenhanceyourpersonaldevelopment.

IfyouarenotcertainthatthedescriptionoftheGivertypefitsyou,thenconsideryoursecondandthirdparagraphchoicesandtheotherprobabletypesidentifiedonthefacingpage.ComparethesetypestotheGiverbyreviewingtheTypeDescriptionpagesforyourotherlikelypossibilities.Alsoconsiderthemythsabouttypeandthekeyadjectivesforyourlikelytypes.


MythsAbouttheType

ItisoftenthoughtthatTwosjustgivetogetandunderneathareveryneedy.Infact,Twosoftengivegenerouslyandonlyappearextra-needybecausetheyrepresssomuchneedanddesire,makingthemappearextra“thirsty”orneedy.


Caring,helpful,supportive,relationship-oriented,tunedtoothers’feelings,optimistic,generous,likable,nurturing,advicegiving,andresponsible,butalsosometimesprideful,intrusive,dramatic,oftenunabletosayno,indirectregardingownneeds,andover-accommodating.

TypeTwo:TheGiverTypeDescription

TheBasicProposition

ThefundamentalprincipleIlostsightof:Everyone’sneedsareequallyandfreelymetinthenaturalflowofgivingandreceiving.WhatIcametobelieveinstead:.Toget,youmustgive.Tobeloved,youmustbeneeded.TheadaptivestrategyIdevelopedasaresultofthisbelief:IlearnedtogetmypersonalneedsfulfilledbybeingneededandbygivingotherswhatIfelttheyneededandwanted,andIexpectedthattheywouldthendothesameforme.Idevelopedfeelingsofprideinbeingindispensable.


Becauseofthisstrategy,myattentionison:Theneedsandwantsofothers,especiallyofpeopleIcareaboutandwouldliketohavecareaboutme.Relationships.Themoment-to-momentfeelingsandemotionsofothers.My“blindspots”aremyownneedsandmyintrusivenessintothelivesofothers.Iputmyenergyinto:Sensingtheemotionalneedsofothersanddoingwhatpleasesthem.Feelinggoodaboutbeingabletomeetothers’needssowell.Creatinggoodfeelingsinothers.Maintainingothers’acceptanceandapproval.Romanticattachment.IdoeverythingIcantoavoid:Disappointingothers.Feelingunappreciated.Atthecore,beinguselessanddispensable,hencesubjecttorejection.Mystrengths:Beinggivingandhelpful.Beinggenerous.Beingsensitivetothefeelingsofothers.Beingsupportive.Beingappreciative.Beingromantic.Highenergy.Exuberance.Expressiveness.Mycommunicationstyle:Beingfriendly,open,expressive,focusedonothers,andquicktosupportorgiveadvice.Othersmayperceivemeasintrusive,overlyhelpful,nagging,orcontrolling.

Stress,Anger,andDefensiveness

Whatcausesmestress:Feelingneededbysomanypeopleandprojects.Confusionaboutmyownneeds.Beingneedymyselfandhavingunmetneeds.Emotionalupheavalsresultingfrominvestingsomuchinrelationships,especiallychallengingones.Whatmakesmeangryanddefensive:Feelingunappreciatedoruncaredfor.Feelingcontrolled.Unmetpersonalneedsandwants.Peoplenotcaringforandsupportingothers.Thenatureofmyangeranddefensiveness:Intense,oftensudden,emotionaloutbursts.Sayingwhatothersneedtogive,evenblamingothers.Crying.

PersonalDevelopment

Theultimategoalofmydevelopment:Torealizethatwearealllovedforwhoweare,notforhowmuchwegiveorhowmuchweareneededbyothers.Toknowthatthereisanaturalflowofgivingandreceiving.HowIcanfurthermypersonaldevelopment:Realizingthatbeingloveddoesnotdependonchangingmyselfforothers.Gainingclarityaboutwhotherealmeisandaboutmyownwantsandneeds.UsingangerandrisingdistressassignalsthatIamneedy.AcknowledgingthatIamnotindispensableandthatthisisokay.Allowingmyselftogiveandreceivewithoutexpectations.Practicingsettinglimitsandboundariesonmygiving.Noticingwhenmyhelpfulnessseemsintrusiveorcontrollingtoothers.Whathindersmypersonaldevelopment:RationalizationsaboutwhatIhavetodoforothersbeforeIcandoanythingformyself.Pridethatpreventsmefromadmittingmyownneeds.FeelingsofguiltaboutbeingselfishwhenIpayattentiontomyneeds.Difficultyinreceivingfromothers.Atthecore,thebeliefthatIamlovedandapprovedbasedonwhatIgive.Howotherscansupportmydevelopment:AppreciatingmyindependentselfinsteadofbeingseducedbyordependentonthehelpIgive.Payingattentiontomyrealneedsandaskingaboutthem.Reinforcingmeforsayingnowhenappropriate.Expressappreciationformygiving.

TypeThree:ThePerformer

TypeDetermination

ConnectedTypes

WingGiver2

WingRomantic4

SecurityTypeLoyalSkeptic6

StressTypeMediator9

Non-connectedTypesMostCommonLook-alikeTypesEpicure7Perfectionist1Protector8

ProbabilityTypesTypestoconsidergiventhatPerformerwasyourfirstchoice54%Performer313%Epicure79%Perfectionist17%Giver25%Protector85%Mediator9

IfthePerformerparagraphwasyourfirstchoice,thereisa54percentprobabilitythatthisisyourtype.ReadthePerformerTypeDescriptionpagesthatfollowtoseeiftheyaccuratelydescribeyourpersonality.Thesepagescanalsohelpyougaininsightintohowyouperceivetheworldandwhatyoucandotoenhanceyourpersonaldevelopment.

IfyouarenotcertainthatthedescriptionofthePerformertypefitsyou,thenconsideryoursecondandthirdparagraphchoicesandtheotherprobabletypesidentifiedonthefacingpage.ComparethesetypestothePerformerbyreviewingtheTypeDescriptionpagesforyourotherlikelypossibilities.Alsoconsiderthemythsabouttypeandthekeyadjectivesforyourlikelytypes.

Whetheryouarereadytoconfirmyourchoiceoftype,orstillunsure,turntotheTypeDiscriminatorpagesbeginningonPart1.Thesepagesidentifythecharacteristicsthatdistinguisheachtypefromeveryothertype.

MythsAbouttheType

Threesareoftenperceivedascaringonlyabouttheirowngoals,efficiency,andimage,butinfact,Threescanbeextremelycaringpeoplewhobringapositive,can-doattitudetodoingforothers.Inaddition,thedeceptivenessattributedtoThreesisnotaboutdeceit,butaboutbeingoutoftouchwiththeirowntruefeelings,whichoftenarenotfarfromawareness.


Industrious,fast-paced,goal-focused,results-andsuccess-oriented,efficient,confident,enthusiastic,high-energy,caringthroughdoing,ambitious,go-getter,andoptimistic,butalsosometimesimpatient,inattentivetofeelings/relationships,competitive,rushed,self-promoting,driven,andoverextended.

TypeThree:ThePerformerTypeDescription

TheBasicProposition

ThefundamentalprincipleIlostsightof:Everythingworksandgetsdonenaturallyaccordingtouniversallaws.WhatIcametobelieveinstead:Whatgetsdoneisdependentoneachperson’sindividualeffort.Peoplearerewardedforwhattheydo,notforbeingwhotheyare.TheadaptivestrategyIdevelopedasaresultofthisbelief:Ilearnedtogetloveandapprovalbyachievingsuccess,byworkinghardtobethebest,andbymaintainingagoodimage.Idevelopedaself-driving,go-aheadenergythatmaskedmyowntruefeelings.


Becauseofthisstrategy,myattentionison:Allthethingsthathavetobedone:tasks,goals,andfutureachievements.Themostefficientsolutions.Howtobethebest.My“blindspots”arefailure,deeperfeelings,andexaggeration.Iputmyenergyinto:Gettingthingsdonequicklyandefficiently.Stayingactiveandbusy.Competing.Achievingrecognitionandcreditforaccomplishments.Adjustingtowhateverisrequiredforsuccess.Promotingmyself.Lookinggood.IdoeverythingIcantoavoid:Failingtoachievemygoals.Beingovershadowedbyothers.Losingface.Experiencinguncomfortablefeelings.Havingthedoubtsthatcanarisefrominactivityorfromslowingmypace.Dealingwithwhatevermightdistractmefromgettingthingsdone.Atthecore,beingincompetentorincapacitated.Mystrengths:Beingpersonable.Enthusiasm.Leadership.Self-assurance.Beingpractical,competent,andefficient.Inspiringhope.Poise.Mycommunicationstyle:Direct,topic-focused,fast-paced,andconfident.Othersmayperceivemeasimpatient,unfeeling,overlyefficientandrestrictive,andoverridingofothers’views.


Whatcausesmestress:ThepressurethatcomesfrombasinghowgoodIfeelaboutmyselfonhowmuchIgetdoneandonstatus,prestige,andpower.Notknowingmyrealfeelingsandvalues.Doingtoomuch.Impendingfailure.Whatmakesmeangryanddefensive:Obstacles:anyoneoranythingthatthreatensorthwartsthesuccessfulachievementofmygoals.Incompetence.Indecisiveness.Inefficiency.Criticism.Thenatureofmyangeranddefensiveness:Impatience.Irritability.Occasionaloutbursts.

PersonalDevelopment

Theultimategoalofmydevelopment:Torealizethatlovecomesfromwhoweare,notwhatwedo,andthateverythingthatneedstobedonegetsdoneaccordingtonaturallawsanddoesnotdependonourindividualeffort.HowIcanfurthermypersonaldevelopment:Moderatingmypacebypracticingpatienceandallowingthingstobeastheyare.Welcominginmyemotions.Askingmyselfwhatreallymatters.Practicinglookinginwardformyownidentityapartfromsuccessandtheexpectationsofothers.Settinglimitsandboundariesonwork.Allowingmyselftolistenandbereceptive.Developingempathyandunderstanding.Realizingthatlovecomesfrombeing,notfromdoingandhaving.Whathindersmypersonaldevelopment:Impatienceindealingwithmyownandothers’feelings.Workingandoverdoingtothepointoffatigueandexhaustion.Notslowingdown.Atthecore,believingthatloveandrecognitioncomefromdoing,notfrombeing.Howotherscansupportmydevelopment:Encouragingmetopayattentiontofeelingsandrelationships.ShowingmetheycareaboutmeforwhoIam,notforwhatIhaveaccomplished.BeingsupportivewhenItellthemwhatisreallytrueforme.Lettingmeknowwhatisreallyimportanttothem.Remindingmetoslowdownandsmelltheroses.

TypeFour:TheRomantic

TypeDetermination

ConnectedTypes

WingPerformer3

WingObserver5

SecurityTypePerfectionist1

StressTypeGiver2

Non-connectedTypesMostCommonLook-alikeTypesLoyalSkeptic6Mediator9Epicure7

ProbabilityofTypesTypestoconsidergiventhatRomanticwasyourfirstchoice61%Romantic411%Perfectionist17%LoyalSkeptic67%Mediator95%Epicure7

IftheRomanticparagraphwasyourfirstchoice,thereisa61percentprobabilitythatthisisyourtype.ReadtheRomanticTypeDescriptionpagesthatfollowtoseeiftheyaccuratelydescribeyourpersonality.Thesepagescanalsohelpyougaininsightintohowyouperceivetheworldandwhatyoucandotoenhanceyourpersonaldevelopment.

IfyouarenotcertainthatthedescriptionoftheRomantictypefitsyou,thenconsideryoursecondandthirdparagraphchoicesandtheotherprobabletypesidentifiedonthefacingpage.ComparethesetypestotheRomanticbyreviewingtheTypeDescriptionpagesforyourotherlikelypossibilities.Alsoconsiderthemythsabouttypeandthekeyadjectivesforyourlikelytypes.


MythsAbouttheType

ManypeoplebelievethatFoursaredominatedbytheirfeelingsandcan’tbecountedupon.Infact,Foursoftenstaysteadydespitetheirstrongfeelingsandaccomplishagreatdealwithdedicationaslongastheyaremovedbytheactivity.Theyevenhaveaknackformakingtheordinaryextraordinary.


Idealistic,deeplyfeeling,sensitive,empathetic,caring,intense,specialnessoriented,creativedisposition,authentictoself,introspective,andexpressive,butalsosometimesdramatic,moody,changeable,self-conscious,unsatisfied,andself-absorbed.

TypeFour:TheRomanticTypeDescription

TheBasicProposition

ThefundamentalprincipleIlostsightof:Atthecore,everyonehasadeepandcompleteconnectiontoallothersandallthings.WhatIcametobelieveinstead:Peopleexperienceapainfullossoftheiroriginalconnections,leavingthemfeelingabandonedandfeelingthattheyaremissingsomethingimportant.TheadaptivestrategyIdevelopedasaresultofthisbelief:Ilearnedtokeepsearchingforanidealloveorperfectcircumstancetomakemefeelloved,whole,andcompleteagain.Idevelopedfeelingsoflongingandenvyforwhatwasmissing.


Becauseofthisstrategy,myattentionison:Whatispositiveandattractiveaboutthefutureandthepast.WhatismissingordistantthatIlongforandfeellonelywithout.Whatisaestheticanddeeplytouchingormeaningful.My“blindspots”arewhatispresentandordinary.Iputmyenergyinto:Arangeofintensefeelingsassociatedwithwhatseemstobemissingorlackinginmylife.Findinglove,meaning,andfulfillmentthroughself-expressionanddeepconnection.Endeavoringtobeauniqueindividual.IdoeverythingIcantoavoid:Beingrejected,abandoned,notheard,orinsignificant.FeelingthatIdonotmeasureup.Feelingthatthereissomethingwrongwithme.Themundane.Peopleandexperiencesthatlackemotionaldepth.Atthecore,endinguptotallydeficientandhenceabandoned.Mystrengths:Sensitivity.Acreativeorientation.Beingattunedtofeelings.Acapacitytoempathizewithsuffering.Intensity.Passion.Romanticidealism.Emotionaldepth.Authenticity.Introspection.Mycommunicationstyle:Expressiveoffeelings,possibility-oriented,personal,andself-focused.Othersmayperceivemeasoverlydramatic,self-absorbed,unsatisfiedwithresponses,andemotionallyintense.


Whatcausesmestress:Peopleandexperiencesnotlivinguptomyromanticidealsordesireforintensity.Wantingmorethanisavailable.EnvyingwhatothershavethatIdonothaveorwhattheyarethatIamnot.Unmanageablefeelings,especiallyinemotionalcrises.Whatmakesmeangryanddefensive:Peoplewhodisappointme,letmedown,orleaveme.Rememberingsuchpeoplefrommypast.Beingslighted,rejected,orabandoned.Feelingmisunderstood.Phoninessandinsincerity.Notbeingtreatedasspecialorunique.Repeatedlyfeelingunfulfilled.Thenatureofmyangeranddefensiveness:Fieryoutbursts,sinkingintoemotionordissolvingintotears.Depression.

PersonalDevelopment

Theultimategoalofmydevelopment:Torealizethatinthepresentmomentwearelovedandcompletelywhole,lackingnoessentialqualityoringredient,andthatweareinterconnectedandatonewithalllife.HowIcanfurthermypersonaldevelopment:Focusingonwhatispositiveinliferightnowratherthanonwhatismissing.Maintainingaconsistentcourseofactiondespitefluctuatingandintensefeelings.Cultivatinghappinessinothersinordertobecomelessself-absorbed.Delayingreactiveactionuntilintenseemotionsbegintosubside.Appreciatingordinaryeverydayexperiences.Disidentifyingself-esteemfromspecialnessandtheextraordinary.Whathindersmypersonaldevelopment:Lettingmystrongfeelingsruntheshowandfallingintoinaction.Resistingchanging“whoIam”forfearoflosingmyindividuality.FeelingthatIwon’tmeasureup.Feelingthattheworldwillletmedown.Gettingself-absorbed.Downplayingimprovementthatisnotdramaticandbecomingdiscouraged.Atthecore,believingthatImustbeandfindtheultimateidealinordertobeloved.Howotherscansupportmydevelopment:Encouragingmetokeepmyattentiononwhatispositiveinthepresent.Honoringmyfeelingsandmyidealism.Revealingtheirrealfeelingsandtruereactions.Lettingmeseethattheyreallyunderstandmeinsteadoftryingtochangeme.

TypeFive:TheObserver

TypeDetermination

ConnectedTypes

WingRomantic4

WingLoyalSkeptic6

SecurityTypeProtector8

StressTypeEpicure7

Non-connectedTypesMostCommonLook-alikeTypesPerfectionist1Mediator9

ProbabilityofTypesTypestoconsidergiventhatObserverwasyourfirstchoice65%Observer511%LoyalSkeptic611%Mediator9

IftheObserverparagraphwasyourfirstchoice,thereisa65percentprobabilitythatthisisyourtype.ReadtheObserverTypeDescriptionpagesthatfollowtoseeiftheyaccuratelydescribeyourpersonality.Thesepagescanalsohelpyougaininsightintohowyouperceivetheworldandwhatyoucandotoenhanceyourpersonaldevelopment.

IfyouarenotcertainthatthedescriptionoftheObservertypefitsyou,thenconsideryoursecondandthirdparagraphchoicesandtheotherprobabletypesidentifiedonthefacingpage.ComparethesetypestotheObserverbyreviewingtheTypeDescriptionpagesforyourotherlikelypossibilities.Alsoconsiderthemythsabouttypeandthekeyadjectivesforyourlikelytypes.


MythsAbouttheType

SomepeoplebelievethatFivesarenotgiving,trulystingy,andoverlyreserved.ButFivesarenotstingysomuchasunwillingtobesharingofselfwhentheyexperiencetoomanyemotionalclaimsorintrusions.Indeed,Fivescanbeverygivingandengaged.Theyjustwanttoknowtheextentoftheclaimsontheirtimeandenergy,toknowtheparameters,sotospeak.


Self-sufficient,undemanding,quietlycaring,knowledgeable,investigative,inquisitive,objective,systematic,analytic,thoughtful,goodinacrisis,andunobtrusive,butalsosometimeswithholding,non-sharing,detached,unassertive,remote,miserlywithfeelings,andoverlyprivate.

TypeFive:TheObserverTypeDescription

TheBasicProposition

ThefundamentalprincipleIlostsightof:Thereisanamplesupplyofalltheknowledgeandenergyeveryoneneeds.WhatIcametobelieveinstead:Theworlddemandstoomuchfrompeopleand/orgivesthemtoolittle,potentiallyleavingthemdepleted.TheadaptivestrategyIdevelopedasaresultofthisbelief:Ilearnedtoprotectmyselffromintrusivedemandsandbeingdrainedofmyresourcesbybecomingprivateandself-sufficient.Ididthisbylimitingmydesiresandwantsandbyaccumulatingalotofknowledge.Idevelopedasenseofavarice,butonlyforthingsIcouldnotdowithout.


Becauseofthisstrategy,myattentionison:Theintellectualdomain.Facts.Analysisandcompartmentalizedthinking.Intrusionsordemandsonme.My“blindspots”areabundance,self-deprivation,andnaturalsupportfromothers.Iputmyenergyinto:Retractinginordertoobserve.Learningallthereistoknowaboutasubject.Thinkingandanalyzinginadvance.Dampeningandreducingfeelings.Remainingself-containedtoconserveenergy.Maintainingsufficientprivacy,boundaries,andlimits.IdoeverythingIcantoavoid:Strongfeelings,includingmyown,especiallyfear.Intrusiveordemandingpeopleorcircumstances.Feelingsofinadequacyandemptiness.Atthecore,endinguptotallydrainedordepletedandhenceunabletocopewithlife.Mystrengths:Scholarliness.Beingknowledgeable.Thoughtfulness.Calmnessincrisis.Beingrespectful.Keepingconfidences.Dependability.Appreciationofsimplicity.Mycommunicationstyle:Content-focused,unemotional,factual,clear,analytical,andterseyetsometimeswordy.Othersmayperceivemeasemotionallydisconnected,aloof,overanalytical,ordistant.


Whatcausesmestress:Failingtomaintainsufficientprivacy,boundaries,andlimits.Becomingfatigued.Havingdesires,needs,andwantsthatleadtodependency.Tryingtolearneverythingthereistoknowbeforetakingaction.Toomuchemotion.Whatmakesmeangryanddefensive:Beingconsideredfactuallyincorrect.Demands,intrusions.Toomuchemotionalinput.Nothavingenoughprivatetimetorestoremyenergy.Thenatureofmyangeranddefensiveness:Self-containmentandwithholdingorwithdrawing.Tensionanddisapproval.Shortburstsoftemper.

PersonalDevelopment

Theultimategoalofmydevelopment:Torealizethatthereisanaturalandsufficientsupplyofwhatisneededtosupportandsustainlifeandthatstayingengagedinlifewillprovideresources,nurturance,andenergy.HowIcanfurthermypersonaldevelopment:Allowingmyselftoexperiencefeelingsinsteadofdetachingandretreatingintomymind.Recognizingthatwithdrawingandwithholdinginviteintrusion.TakingactionintherealizationthatIhaveampleenergyandsupporttocarryitoff,consequentlypracticingabundance.Findingwaystoengageinconversation,toexpressmyself,andtorevealpersonalmatters.Practicingnotneedingtoknow.Whathindersmypersonaldevelopment:Minimizingneedsanddetachingfromtheongoingflowoflife.Missingopportunitiestodothingswithothers.Isolatingmyselffrommyfeelingsandfromconnectingwithothers.Notrecognizingfearorangerinmyself.Beingreluctanttodiscussandrevealpersonalmatters.Beingexcessivelyanalytical.Atthecore,believingthatImustprotectmyselffromdepletioninaworldthattakestoomuchandgivestoolittle.Howotherscansupportmydevelopment:Respectingmyneedforprivacyandspace.Makingcleardistinctionsbetweentheirrequestsandtheirdemands.Providingmoderatefeedbackabouttheirownfeelingsandconcerns.Encouragingmetobeself-disclosingandtoexpressmyfeelingsinthehereandnow.Appreciatingmysensitivity.Appreciatingmyabilitytoliveandletlive.

TypeSix:TheLoyalSkeptic

TypeDetermination

ConnectedTypes

WingObserver5

WingEpicure7

SecurityTypeMediator9

StressTypePerformer3

Non-connectedTypesMostCommonLook-alikeTypesRomantic4Protector8

ProbabilityofTypesTypestoconsidergiventhatLoyalSkepticwasyourfirstchoice66%LoyalSkeptic68%Observer58%Mediator95%Romantic45%Epicure7

IftheLoyalSkepticparagraphwasyourfirstchoice,thereisa66percentprobabilitythatthisisyourtype.ReadtheLoyalSkepticTypeDescriptionpagesthatfollowtoseeiftheyaccuratelydescribeyourpersonality.Thesepagescanalsohelpyougaininsightintohowyouperceivetheworldandwhatyoucandotoenhanceyourpersonaldevelopment.

IfyouarenotcertainthatthedescriptionoftheLoyalSkeptictypefitsyou,thenconsideryoursecondandthirdparagraphchoicesandtheotherprobabletypesidentifiedonthefacingpage.ComparethesetypestotheLoyalSkepticbyreviewingtheTypeDescriptionpagesforyourotherlikelypossibilities.Alsoconsiderthemythsabouttypeandthekeyadjectivesforyourlikelytypes.


MythsAbouttheType

Accordingtosomepeople,Sixesareshrinkingviolets,pessimistic,andnon-trusting.Infact,Sixesoftenfacehazardsanddifficultiesfearlesslytoprovethemselvescapable.Farfrombeingpessimistic,theymostlyfindpositivesolutionstothehazardstheyexperienceinlife.Andtheycanbeverytrustingandtrustworthyastheygainconfidenceinanotherpersonorasituation.


Trustworthy,loyal,responsible,inquisitive,dutiful,goodfriend,caring,collaborative,analytical,andpersevering,butalsosometimesoverlydoubtfulorskeptical,uncertain,worrying,vigilant,sometimeschallengingand/orfearful,eitheroverlycautiousoroverlyrisk-taking,andquestioningtothepointofblame

TypeSix:TheLoyalSkepticTypeDescription

TheBasicProposition

ThefundamentalprincipleIlostsightof:Weallbeginwithfaithinourselves,inothers,andintheuniverse.WhatIcametobelieveinstead:Theworldisunpredictableandhazardous,hencepeopleoftencan’ttrustoneanother.TheadaptivestrategyIdevelopedasaresultofthisbelief:Idevelopedoneoftwostrategiestoseeksecurityandcertaintyasasubstituteforbasictrustandtoavoidfeelingfear.Phobicoraccommodatingstance:WhileIbecamedoubting,vigilant,andquestioning,Ialsolearnedtoobeyauthorityandtoavoidperceivedthreatsandhazards.Counterphobicorchallengingstance:WhileIbecamedoubting,vigilant,andquestioning,Ialsolearnedtodefyauthorityandtobattleperceivedthreatsandhazards.


Becauseofthisstrategy,myattentionison:Whatcouldgowrongorbehazardous.Potentialpitfalls,difficulties,incongruities.Implications,inferences,andhiddenmeanings.My“blindspots”aremagnificationofhazardsandnegativesandinitiallynotseeingpositives.Iputmyenergyinto:Doubting,testing,andlookingfordoublemessages.Figuringthingsoutthroughlogicalanalysis.Playingthedevil’sadvocate.Showingstrength.Gainingsecuritybyobtainingthegoodwillofothers,beingloyaltoothers,anddedicatingmyselftoworthyandoftenunderdogcauses.IdoeverythingIcantoavoid:Beinghelplessornotincontrolinthefaceofdangerandharm.Succumbingtodangerorharm.Gettingstuckindoubtandcontrarythinking.AlienatingpeopleIdependonbycontradictingoropposingthem.Atthecore,endingupdependentandhelpless.Mystrengths:Trustworthiness.Loyalty.Thoughtfulness.Questioningmind.Warmth.Perseverance.Responsibility.Protectiveness.Intuition.Wit.Sensitivity.Mycommunicationstyle:Rapidorhesitant,thoughtfultothepointofover-explaining,questioning/doubting,engagingyetoftencontrary,andinformation-oriented.Othersthismayperceivemeasoverlyconcerned,challenging,doubting,controlling,andattimespessimistic.


Whatcausesmestress:ThepressureIputonmyselfinmyeffortstodealwithuncertaintyandinsecurity.Difficultieswithauthority.Tryingtomaintainthetrustandgoodwillofotherswhileexperiencingmistrustandambivalencetowardthem.Whatmakesmeangryanddefensive:Untrustworthiness,betrayal.Feelingcornered,controlled,orpressured.Interactionswithothersthatfeeltoodemanding.AuthoritiesIcan’tcounton.Others’lackofresponsivenesstome.Thenatureofmyangeranddefensiveness:Wit.Sarcasm.Bitingremarks.Accusations.Defensivelashingout.

PersonalDevelopment

Theultimategoalofmydevelopment:Torealizethatitisnaturaltohavefaithinourselvesandinoneanotherandthatwecanembraceandsupportlifewithoutdoubtandmistrust.HowIcanfurthermypersonaldevelopment:Beingandactingasmyownauthority.Reclaimingfaithinmyself,others,andtheuniverse.Acceptingthatsomeuncertaintyandinsecurityisanaturalpartoflife.Checkingoutmyfearsandconcernswithothers.Recognizingthatstayingbusyisawaytoreduceawarenessofanxiety.Recognizingthatbothfightandflightarereactionstofear.Movingaheadwithpositiveactioninspiteofthepresenceoffearandthuscultivatingcourage.Whathindersmypersonaldevelopment:Doubtandambivalence.Wantingtoomuchcertainty.Beingoverlycontrollingoroverprotective.Disbeliefinmyowncapacitiesanddecisions.Lettingworst-casescenariosdominatemythinking.Atthecore,believingImustgaincertaintyandsecurityinahazardousworldthatjustcan’tbetrusted.Howotherscansupportmydevelopment:Beingconsistentandtrustworthywithme.Beingself-disclosingandencouragingmetobeself-disclosing.Counteringmydoubtsandfearswithpositiveandreassuringalternativesthatarerealistic.

TypeSeven:TheEpicure

TypeDetermination

ConnectedTypes

WingLoyalSkeptic6

WingProtector8

SecurityTypeObserver5

StressTypePerfectionist1

Non-connectedTypesMostCommonLook-alikeTypesGiver2Performer3Mediator9

ProbabilityofTypesTypestoconsidergiventhatEpicurewasyourfirstchoice52%Epicure78.5%Protector87%Giver27%Observer57%LoyalSkeptic66%Mediator95.5%Perfectionist1

IftheEpicureparagraphwasyourfirstchoice,thereisa52percentprobabilitythatthisisyourtype.ReadtheEpicureTypeDescriptionpagesthatfollowtoseeiftheyaccuratelydescribeyourpersonality.Thesepagescanalsohelpyougaininsightintohowyouperceivetheworldandwhatyoucandotoenhanceyourpersonaldevelopment.

IfyouarenotcertainthatthedescriptionoftheEpicuretypefitsyou,thenconsideryoursecondandthirdparagraphchoicesandtheotherprobabletypesidentifiedonthefacingpage.ComparethesetypestotheEpicurebyreviewingtheTypeDescriptionpagesforyourotherlikelypossibilities.Alsoconsiderthemythsabouttypeandthekeyadjectiesforyourlikelytypes.

Whetheryouarereadytoconfirmyourchoiceoftypeorarestillunsure,turntotheTypeDiscriminatorpagesbeginningonPart1.Thesepagesidentifythecharacteristicsthatdistinguisheachtypefromeveryothertype.

MythsAbouttheType

ManypeoplebelievethatSevenscan’tkeepcommitmentsandtrytogetoutofdifficultortryingsituations.Infact,Sevenscansometimesendupstayinginrelationshipsthatarenotgoodforeitherpersonbecausetheycanalwaysseethepositivepossibilities.AndwhensomethingmeansalottoSevens,theycanbecountedontostickwithasituationorjobandtomakepersonalsacrificesandcommitmentstodoso.


Optimistic,upbeat,charming,caring,exuberant,spontaneous,versatile,joyful,possibility-andpleasure-seeking,synthesizerofideas,opportunity-oriented,quickthinker,andadventurous,butalsosometimespain-avoidant,inconsiderate,unfocused,uncommitted,impetuous,authority-rejecting,andself-serving.

TypeSeven:TheEpicureTypeDescription

TheBasicProposition

ThefundamentalprincipleIlostsightof:Lifeisafullspectrumofpossibilitiestobeexperiencedfreelyandwithsustainedconcentration.WhatIcametobelieveinstead:Theworldlimitspeople,frustratesthem,andcausesthempainthatcanbeavoided.TheadaptivestrategyIdevelopedasaresultofthisbelief:Ilearnedtoprotectmyselffromlimitationsandpainbyengaginginpleasurableactivitiesandbyimaginingmanyfascinatingpossibilitiesforthefuture.Ibecameagluttonforinterestingideasandexperiences.


Becauseofthisstrategy,myattentionison:Interesting,pleasurable,andfascinatingideas,plans,options,orprojects.Theinterconnectionsandinter-relationshipsamongdiverseareasofinformationandknowledge.WhatIwant.My“blindspots”areactuallimitsandthe“darkside”oflife.Iputmyenergyinto:Enjoyingandexperiencinglifetoitsfullest.Keepingoptionsopenandlifeupbeat.Usingmyactiveimagination.Beinglikedbybeingcharminganddisarming.Maintainingaprivilegedposition.IdoeverythingIcantoavoid:Frustrations,constraints,andlimitations.Painfulsituationsorfeelings.Boredom.Atthecore,endinguptrappedinsufferingandpain.Mystrengths:Playfulness.Inventiveness.Beingenjoyableandupbeat.Highenergy.Optimism.Loveoflife.Vision.Enthusiasm.Helpfulness.Imagination.Mycommunicationstyle:Exuberant,fast-paced,spontaneous,analytical,andidea-andpossibility-oriented.Othersmayperceivemeasoverlyquicktoshifttopics,self-oriented(indifferenttoothers’input),changeable,andpronetomakingexcuses.


Whatcausesmestress:Copingwiththeoverloadthatresultsfromtryingtosampleallthatlifehastooffer.Makingthesamemistakesoverandoverbecauseofmydesiretoavoidpain.Makingcommitmentsandthenfeelingtrappedbythem.Whatmakesmeangryanddefensive:ConstraintsorlimitsthatpreventmefromgettingwhatIwant.Peoplewhoarestuck,unhappy,depressed,orinclinedtoblameothers,especiallyiftheyattempttodragmedown.Thenatureofmyangeranddefensiveness:Briefandtothepoint.Short-lived.Episodic.Impetuous.Put-downsofothers.Actingentitledandsuperior.

PersonalDevelopment

Theultimategoalofmydevelopment:Torealizethatinordertoexperiencelifefullywemustbeconsciouslypresentinthehereandnowandthatwesupportandsustainourselvesandothersbycultivatingthisconsciouspresence.HowIcanfurthermypersonaldevelopment:Noticingwhenmyquestforpleasurableoptionsisaresponsetofearofdeprivation,adesiretoescapefromresponsibilitiesthatconstrainmyfreedom,oranescapefrompain.Practicingworkingononethingatatimeuntilitiscompleted.Livinglifemorefullyinthepresentmomentandlessinthefuture.Appreciatingmoredeeplythefeelingsandconcernsofothersandpracticingloving-kindness.Realizingthatitislimitingtoseekjustthepositiveandtoavoidpain,loss,andsuffering.Makingandkeepingcommitmentstoselfandothers.Whathindersmypersonaldevelopment:ApreoccupationwithmyselfandwhatIwant.Difficultyacknowledginganythingnegativeaboutmyself.Unwillingnesstotakestepsthatinvolvepainorconflict.Beingeasilydistractedanddivertedfromdeeperpurposesandcommitments.Atthecore,believingthattoensureagoodlifeImustkeepmyspiritsupandavoidpainandsuffering.Howotherscansupportmydevelopment:SupportingmewhenIslowdownandstickwithmycommitments.Lettingmeknowwhatandhowimportanttheirownneedsandwantsare.Encouragingmetodealwithpain,fear,andrestlessnessratherthanescapingfromthesefeelings.Helpingmekeepthingssimpleandinthepresent.

TypeEight:TheProtector

TypeDetermination

ConnectedTypes

WingEpicure7

WingMediator9

SecurityTypeGiver2

StressTypeObserver5

Non-connectedTypesMostCommonLook-alikeTypesPerfectionist1Romantic4LoyalSkeptic6

ProbabilityofTypesTypestoconsidergiventhatProtectorwasyourfirstchoice37%Protector816.5%LoyalSkeptic616%Perfectionist18%Romantic47%Epicure76%Mediator9

IftheProtectorparagraphwasyourfirstchoice,thereisa37percentprobabilitythatthisisyourtype.ReadtheProtectorTypeDescriptionpagesthatfollowtoseeiftheyaccuratelydescribeyourpersonality.Thesepagescanalsohelpyougaininsightintohowyouperceivetheworldandwhatyoucandotoenhanceyourpersonaldevelopment.

IfyouarenotcertainthatthedescriptionoftheProtectortypefitsyou,thenconsideryoursecondandthirdparagraphchoicesandtheotherprobabletypesidentifiedonthefacingpage.ComparethesetypestotheProtectorbyreviewingtheTypeDescriptionpagesforyourotherlikelypossibilities.Alsoconsiderthemythsabouttypeandthekeyadjectiesforyourlikelytypes.


MythsAbouttheType

AcommonperceptionisthatEightsarejust“outthere”—aggressive,tough,andexcessive.Infact,Eightscanbequitereservedandquietaswellasverygiving,generous,andkindhearted,inpartbecauseofEights’all-or-nothingstyleofrelating,butalsoinwomenbecauseoftheculturalmandatetotametheirassertiveness.


Justice-seeking,direct,strong,magnanimous,declarative,assertive,self-reliant,confident,intense,protectiveofothers,andtake-charge-andaction-oriented,butalsosometimesheavy-handed,intimidating,excessive,demanding,impatient,dominating,andimpulsive.

TypeEight:TheProtectorTypeDescription

TheBasicProposition

ThefundamentalprincipleIlostsightof:Everyonebeginsininnocence,comingfreshlytoeachmoment,andeveryonecansensetruth.WhatIcametobelieveinstead:Itisahardandunjustworldinwhichthepowerfultakeadvantageofothers,whichmustberesisted.TheadaptivestrategyIdevelopedasaresultofthisbelief:Ilearnedtobecomestrongandpowerfulbyimposingmyowntruthandbyhidingmyvulnerabilityinordertoprotectmyselfandothersandtogainrespectandasenseofworth.Idevelopedaforceful,big,lustfulenergyandcametorelyonmyowninstincts.


Becauseofthisstrategy,myattentionison:Powerandcontrol.Justiceandinjustice.Deceptionsandmanipulations.All-or-nothingpolarities.Whateverdemandsactionrightnow.My“blindspots”aremyimpactonothers,theirtruths,andmyownimpulsivenessandtendencytowardexcess.Iputmyenergyinto:Controlanddominanceofmyspaceandinadvertentlyofthepeopleandthingsinmyspace.Takingdirectactionandfacingconflict.Protectingtheweakandinnocent.Gainingrespectbybeingstrongandjust.IdoeverythingIcantoavoid:Beingweak,uncertain,ordependent.LosingtheregardofpeopleIrespect.Atthecore,endinguptotallyvulnerableandpowerless.Mystrengths:Courage.Persistence.Fairness.Decisiveness.Protectiveness.Self-assertion.Intensity.Friendliness.Magnanimity.Theabilitytoenergizeothers.Mycommunicationstyle:Direct/authoritative,declarative,energetic/zestful,firm,andtruth-andjustice-oriented.Othersmayperceivemeasoverlyconfrontational,intimidating,notopentoquestioning(hencediscountingoftheother),andcontrolling.


Whatcausesmestress:Beingunabletocorrectperceivedinjustice.Havingtocontainmyconfrontationalstyleandhavingdifficultycontainingit.Goingfull-outanddenyingfatigueandpain.Whatmakesmeangryanddefensive:Deceitandinjustice.Manipulation.Peoplewhowon’tstandupforthemselves.Othersnotrespondingtomeortowhathastobedone.Boundariesorrulesthatareunjustortooconstraining.Attemptstocontrolme.Thenatureofmyangeranddefensiveness:Powerfulangerexpressedinadirect,confrontationalstyleoringuardedwithdrawal.Balancingthebooks(revenge).

PersonalDevelopment

Theultimategoalofmydevelopment:Torealizethatweareallinherentlyinnocentorun-biasedandcannaturallysensetruth;thatapproachingeachsituationwithafreshperspective,freeofpersonalprejudice,enablesustorecognizetruth.HowIcanfurthermypersonaldevelopment:Noticingmyintensityanditsimpactonothers.Treatingmyintensityasanattempttomaskmyvulnerability.Treatingwhatseemslikeweaknessasprogressinlettingmyselfexperiencevulnerabilityandtenderfeelings.Practicingwaitingandlisteningbeforetakingactionasawaytomoderatemyimpulsivity.Applyingonlytheappropriateamountofforceineachsituation.Welcomingasenseofcalmandquietwithin.Seekingwin-winsolutions.Learningtocompromise.Valuingthetruthindifferences.Whathindersmypersonaldevelopment:Refusingtobecontrolledandbeingunawareofcontrollingothers.Anexcessivelifestylethatleadstoexhaustionandalienationofothers.Self-defeatingbehaviors.Denialofmyfearsandweaknesses,andvulnerability.Notvaluingmyowntendernessandsensitivity.Atthecore,believingImustbestrongandpowerfultoensureprotectionandworthinatough,unjustworld.Howotherscansupportmydevelopment:Standingtheirground.Stayingfirm.Beingforthright.Speakingtheirowntruth.Providingfeedbackaboutmyimpactonthem.SupportingmewhenIrevealsofterfeelingsandvulnerabilities.

TypeNine:TheMediator

TypeDetermination

ConnectedTypes

WingProtector8

WingPerfectionist1

SecurityTypePerformer3

StressTypeLoyalSkeptic6

Non-connectedTypesMostCommonLook-alikeTypesGiver2Romantic4Epicure7

ProbabilityofTypesTypestoconsidergiventhatMediatorwasyourfirstchoice68%Mediator97%Perfectionist16%Giver25%LoyalSkeptic65%Epicure7

IftheMediatorparagraphwasyourfirstchoice,thereisa68percentprobabilitythatthisisyourtype.ReadtheMediatorTypeDescriptionpagesthatfollowtoseeiftheyaccuratelydescribeyourpersonality.Thesepagescanalsohelpyougaininsightintohowyouperceivetheworldandwhatyoucandotoenhanceyourpersonaldevelopment.

IfyouarenotcertainthatthedescriptionoftheMediatortypefitsyou,thenconsideryoursecondandthirdparagraphchoicesandtheotherprobabletypesidentifiedonthefacingpage.ComparethesetypestotheMediatorbyreviewingtheTypeDescriptionpagesforyourotherlikelypossibilities.Alsoconsiderthemythsabouttypeandthekeyadjectiesforyourlikelytypes.


MythsAbouttheType

PeopleoftenthinkofNinesaslazy,slow,unproductive,andlackinginleadershipandeffectiveness.Infact,Nines’inertiaissimplytowardthemselvesastheyputtheirattentionandenergyintoothers’opinionsandagendas.Theyareoftenhighlyproductiveandeffectiveconsensusleaders,aswellasthoughtfulandgiving.


Adaptable,harmony-seeking,pleasing,affable,steadfast,comfortable,accepting,humble,ofteneasygoing,caring,inclusive,andsteady,butalsosometimesconflict-avoidant,resistant,self-forgetting,stubborn,andindecisive.

TypeNine:TheMediatorTypeDescription

TheBasicProposition

ThefundamentalprincipleIlostsightof:Everyonebelongsequallyinastateofunconditionalloveandunion.WhatIcametobelieveinstead:Theworldmakespeopleunimportantand/orrequiresthemtoblendin,makingcomfortandbelongingasubstituteforloveandworth.TheadaptivestrategyIdevelopedasaresultofthisbelief:Thoughinertiatowardmyownselfandpriorities,Iforgotmyselfandmergedwithothers.Isubstitutedinessentialsandsmallcomfortsformyrealprioritiesasasubstituteforunconditionallove.


Becauseofthisstrategy,myattentionison:Others’agendas,requests,anddemands.Allthethingsintheenvironmentthatbeckon.My“blindspots”:myownposition,importance,andpriorities.Iputmyenergyinto:Beingsensitivetoothersandtryingtopleasetheminsteadofmyself.Keepinglifecomfortableandfamiliar.Maintainingharmony,structure,androutinetomakelifepredictable.Containinganger.Doingthelessessentialandcomfortingactivitiesratherthanthemoreimportantandmoredisturbingones.IdoeverythingIcantoavoid:Conflict,confrontation,feelinguncomfortable.Toomanycompetingdemandsonmyattentionandenergy.Atthecore,endingupdismissedasnotworthkeeping.Mystrengths:Attentivenesstoothers.Empathy.Supportiveness.Accountability.Steadfastness.Adaptability.Beingaccepting.Receptiveness.Beingcaring.Mycommunicationstyle:Steady/easygoing,non-confrontational,amiable/friendly,other-directedorfocused,andinclusiveofbothfeelingsandfacts.Toothersthismaybeperceivedasavoidingconflict,indecisive,rambling,over-explaining,andunclearaboutownpositionandrole.


Whatcausesmestress:Takingaposition.Sayingnotosomeoneandhavingthatpersongetangry.Havingtomaketimelydecisionsandsetpriorities.DealingwithacommitmentImadethatIdidn’treallywanttomake.Whatmakesmeangryanddefensive:Beingtreatedasnotimportant.Feelingcontrolledbyothers.Beingforcedintofacingconflictandintomakingdecisions.Thenatureofmyangeranddefensiveness:Passiveaggression,manifestedasstubbornnessorresistance.Occasionally“boilingover”andexploding.

PersonalDevelopment

Theultimategoalofmydevelopment:Torealizethatweallareunconditionallyandequallyloved(acceptedandappreciatedforwhoweare)andthatourworthandwell-beingcomefromwithin.HowIcanfurthermypersonaldevelopment:Payingattentiontomyownneedsandwell-being.Usinganger/resistanceasasignalthatIfeeldiscountedandthatsomethinginsidemematters.NoticingfeelingsImaybeblockingoutwhenIturnfrommyrealprioritiestosubstitutes,suchasTV,food,errands,orchores.Noticingwhenmyruminatingkeepsmefromsettingprioritiesandtakingactiononthem.Acceptingdiscomfortandchangeasanaturalpartoflife.Practicinglovingmyselfkindlyandequallytolovingothers.Whathindersmypersonaldevelopment:FeelingthatIdon’tcount.FeelingthatIdon’tdeservetopursuemyownagenda.Givingeverythingequalimportanceand,consequently,missingmyrealpriorities.Avoidingthediscomfortanddisruptionrequiredforchange.Atthecore,believingthattobevaluedandlovedImustblendinandgoalongtogetalong.Howotherscansupportmydevelopment:Encouragingmetoexpressmyownposition.AskingmewhatIwantandwhatisgoodforme,andgivingmetimetofigureouttheanswer.SupportingmewhenIactresponsiblytowardmyself.Allowingmetoacknowledgemyanger.Encouragingmetosetandkeepmyownboundaries,limits,andpriorities.

SummaryofTypeDiscriminators

Followingarethesharedcharacteristicsandkeydiscriminatorsforeachpairofconnectedandnon-connectedtypesontheEnneagram,thirty-sixinall.Theconnectedtypesarethosethatshareawingwitheachotherorthathaveasecurity-stressconnection.Non-connectedtypesoftensharecertaincharacteristicsthatcanmakethemlookaliketoo.

Thetwotypesarewings.

Thetypesaresecurityandstresstypesofeachother.

Thetwotypesarenon-connectedtypesthatcanlookalike.

TypesOneandTwo.PerfectionistsandGiverslookalikebecause,aswingsofeachother,theypossesssomeofthesamepersonalitytraits.Bothcanhavehighstandardsofgiving,focusintenseenergyontheimprovementorwell-beingofothers,andknowwhatisbestforothers.Bothtypesdefinitelysuppressorrepresstheirownneedsanddesires.TheydifferinthatPerfectionistsconcentrate,ofteninflexibly,onothers’needsbasedontheirowninnerstandards,whileGivers,intheirfocusonothers’needs,oftenalterthemselvesinordertomakeothershappy.Althoughbothtypesstriveforself-sufficiencyandindependence,Giversareveryrelationship-orientedandoftenfindthemselvesoverconnectedandevenindispensabletoothers.

TypesOneandThree.PerfectionistsandPerformerscanbeconsideredlook-aliketypesbecausetheyarebothachievers.Bothcanbegoal-oriented,competency-oriented,andsuccess-orientedwithworkaholictendencies.The

differencesarethatPerfectionistsaremorelikelytobehoundedbytheirinnercritic,whichmotivatesthemtodowhatisjudgedrightbythehighstandardsofthecritic,whilePerformersaremoredriventosucceedandtochangetheirimageandapproach,evencuttingcornersifnecessary,togettothegoalandberecognizedfortheiraccomplishments.

TypesOneandFour.PerfectionistsandRomanticssharesomepersonalitytraitsbecausethePerfectionististhesecuritytypeoftheRomanticandtheRomanticisthestresstypeofthePerfectionist.Bothoftenexpressidealism,intensity,sensitivity,integrity,authenticity,self-reproach,andaconcernforself-improvement.Perfectionistsinstressbecomediscouragedandfeeldeficient.Romanticsinsecuritycanexpressacriticalidealismanddemandperfectionorexactness.TheydifferinthatPerfectionists’idealismconcernscorrectbehaviorand“gettingitright,”whileRomantics’idealismrevolvesaroundpossibilitiesforultimatefulfillment.Furthermore,Perfectionistsgenerallyareself-restrained,suppressingpersonaldesires,whileRomanticsexperiencestronglongingsanddesires,sometimestothepointofself-absorption.PerfectionistscannotexpresstheirdesiresasreadilyasRomanticsdo.

TypesOneandFive.PerfectionistsandObserverscanbeconsideredlook-aliketypesbecausetheybothareintellectual,competency-oriented,andcanbecomeretractedorinternalizedwhentryingtofigurethingsout.Perfectionists,however,arequiteintense,suppresstheirdesires,andseektoimprovethemselvesandothers,whileObserversdetachfromfeelingsinordertoprotectthemselvesfrombeingintrudeduponandtoconserveenergy.Ingeneral,Observershave“alive-and-let-live”attitudeandrestricttheirjudgmentstointellectualmatters,knowledge,andcompetence,whilePerfectionists’judgmentsextendtotheentirerangeofhumanactivitycoveredbytheirinternalstandardsofrightandwrong.

TypesOneandSix.PerfectionistsandLoyalSkepticscanbeconsideredlook-aliketypesbecausebothtypescanbeverywatchful,anxiousandworried,andintentonfiguringthingsout.Whatdistinguishesthesetwolook-aliketypesisthatLoyalSkeptics,bydoubting,trytofigureoutwhatcouldgowrong,whattheworst-casescenariomightbe,andhowtogainasenseofsafetyandcertainty.Perfectionists,byjudgingandcomparing,trytofigureouthowtopreventmistakes,howtocorrectwhatiswrong,andhowtoavoidself-criticismandcriticismfromothers.Perfectionists’onerightwaybringsclarity,whilethedoubtingandquestioningmindofLoyalSkepticshindersclarity.

TypesOneandSeven.PerfectionistsandEpicurespossesssometraitsincommonbecausethePerfectionististhestresstypeoftheEpicureandtheEpicureisthesecuritytypeofthePerfectionist.Bothareidealistswhowantabetterworld,whoshowintensityandhelpfulness,andwhovalueself-reliance.Perfectionistsfeelingsecureoftenreleasethemselvesfromtheirfeelingsofresponsibility,relaxingintopleasure,personaldesire,andplayfulness.Epicuresinstresscanbecomequitecritical,exacting,anddetermined.However,whilePerfectionistsdonotseekpleasureandarequiteaustere,Epicuresdefinitelydoseekpleasureandareevenhedonistic.Thus,Perfectionistsareseriousandself-restrainedandlimittheirdesires.Incontrast,Epicuresarefun-lovingandexpansiveandspurnlimits.

TypesOneandEight.PerfectionistsandProtectorscanbeconsideredlook-aliketypesbecausebothareBodyCentertypesandareconcernedwithrightness,justice,truth,andfairness.Protectors,however,statetheirtruthopenly,expresstheirangerdirectly,andgofromimpulsetoactioneasily.Perfectionistssuppressangerandimpulse,becomingresentfulandtenseuntilasenseofrighteousnessallowstheirangertospillout.

TypesOneandNine.PerfectionistsandMediatorslookalikebecauseaswingsofeachotherandasBodyCentertypes

theysharesomeofthesamepersonalitytraits.Theyeasilyforgetorsuppresstheirownneedsanddesires.Theyvaluesteadiness,organization,androutine,andtheyworkhardforotherswithcareandaconcernforharmony.However,Perfectionistsholdtotheirpositionsandstandards,oftenrigidly,wantingotherstochange,whileMediatorsreadilyadaptandaccommodatetoothers’positions,oftenlosingsightoftheirown.Thus,Perfectionistsappeartenseandpressforchange,whileMediatorsgoalongwiththeagendasofothers,adaptingmorereaditytotheirrequestsandclaims.

TypesTwoandThree.GiversandPerformerslookalikebecauseaswingsofeachotherandasHeartCentertypestheysharecertainpersonalitytraits.Bothhaveactive,“doing”energy,andbothareorientedtowardaccomplishmentandhelping.Theyareexuberant,practical,andapproval-seekingandoftenalterthemselvestofitwhateverimageisrequired.WhatdistinguishesthesetwotypesisthatGivershabituallyfocusonrelationshipsandonothers’feelingsandneeds,incontrasttoPerformers,whopushasidefeelingsandhabituallyfocusontasksandgoalsandgettingrecognitionfortheiraccomplishments.

TypesTwoandFour.GiversandRomanticshavesomepersonalitytraitsincommonbecausetheGiveristhestresstypeoftheRomanticandtheRomanticisthesecuritytypeoftheGiverandbothareHeartCentertypes.Bothareattunedtofeelings.Botharesensitive,relationship-oriented,helpful,andemotionallyintense.Bothhavearomanticflareandareconcernedwithimage.Giversfeelingsecurebecomemoreinternalized,self-oriented,nostalgic,anduniquelycreative.Romanticsinstressbecomemorepleasing,outer-directed,focusedonothers,andgiving.TheydifferinthatGiversaremoreouter-directedandother-referencing.Giversfocusonothers’needswithactiveenergyandalterthemselvesasnecessarytomeetthoseneeds.Incontrast,Romanticsaremoreinner-directed,self-referencing,andsubjecttofeeling“down.”Romantics

focusontheirownspecialnessorauthenticityandaresubjecttoexperiencingfeelingsofdeficiency.

TypesTwoandFive.GiversandObserverscanbeconsideredlook-aliketypesbecausebothtypesaresensitivetotheclaimsandneedsofimportantothers,arequitegiving,anddonotattendtotheirownfeelings.However,forObserverstheperiodsofgivingandrespondingtoclaimsmadebyothersareintermittentandpunctuatedbydistinctperiodswhentheymoveawayanddisconnectinordertorechargeandprotecttheirpersonalboundaries.Givers,ontheotherhand,sustainthegivingmode,mostlymovingforwardtoconnectwithothersinordertomeetothers’needsandoftenlosetheirpersonalboundariesintheprocess.

TypesTwoandSix.GiversandLoyalSkepticscanbeconsideredlook-alikesbecausebothtypescanbewarmandfriendly,anxious,sensitivetoothers,deferringtowhatotherswantorneed,anddisarmingorseductive.(Thisisespeciallytrueofthemorephobic,oraccommodating,Six.)However,Giversmoveforwardwithactiveenergy,focusingontheneedsofimportantothersandoftenfeelingindispensable,whileLoyalSkepticswarilyholdsomethingback,doubtorquestionthemselvesandothers,andspurnindispensability.LoyalSkepticswillpleaseotherstogaincertaintyandsecurityratherthantogainloveandasenseofself-worth.Incontrast,Givers’self-identityisinvestedingiving.

TypesTwoandSeven.GiversandEpicurescanbeconsideredlook-aliketypesbecausebothtypesareactive,upbeat,energetic,charmingandseductive,friendly,selectiveinrelationships,andeagertobeliked.TheydifferinthatEpicuresmaintaintheirseparateness,andstayorientedprimarilytothemselvesandtowhattheylike,want,andneed,whileGiversmovetowardothersandstayorientedprimarilytothelikes,wants,andneedsofothers.Epicurescaneasilygetabsorbedintheirownintellectualpursuits,incontrasttoGivers,whoalterthemselvesto

meettheemotionalneedsofothers.

TypesTwoandEight.GiversandProtectorssharesomeofthesametraitsbecausetheGiveristhesecuritytypeoftheProtectorandtheProtectoristhestresstypeoftheGiver.Bothshowactiveenergy,assertiveness,intrusiveness,generosity,protectivenesstowardothers,andattractiontopower.Giversinstressbecomemoredirectandforceful,readilyexpressingangeranddeterminationthattheyknowwhatisneeded.Protectorsfeelingsecurecanbeopenhearted,expressingfeelings,softness,andsensitivitytoothers.However,Giversemploytheiractiveenergytomovetowardotherswithastrongsensitivitytoothers’feelingsandneeds,alteringthemselvestopleaseothersandrepressingtheirownneeds.Bycontrast,Protectorsusetheirbigenergytoactforcefullyinawaythatoftenchallengesandintimidatesothers,allthewhileassertingtheirownposition,senseofjustice,wants,andneeds.

TypesTwoandNine.GiversandMediatorscanbeconsideredlook-aliketypesbecausetheysharethecharacteristicofpleasingothersandmeetingothers’wantsandneeds.Intheprocess,bothorienttowardtheclaimsmadeonthembyothersandloseawarenessoftheirownneedsandpriorities.ThemaindifferenceisthatGiversmoreactivelyfocustheirattentionandenergyonwhatothersneedandalterthemselvestomeetthoseneeds,whileMediatorsaremorereactive,allowingthemselvestobepulledbywhateverclaimsaremadeonthem.Mediatorsblendinanddispersetheirenergytomakethingscomfortablewithoutchangingtheirimage.Giverscanbeintrusive,givingtoomuch;incontrast,Mediatorsarenotintrusiveintheirgiving.

TypesThreeandFour.PerformersandRomanticslookalikebecauseaswingsofeachotherandasHeartCentertypestheysharesomepersonalitytraitsincommon.Bothhaveaconcernforapprovalandrecognition,andbothfeelitisimportanttomaintaintheirimage.Bothareintenseandcompetitiveandhaveacreative,inventiveorientation.They

differinthatPerformerssustainago-aheadgoalorientation,whichrequiresthemtosuspendtheirfeelings,focusattentionoutward,andalterthemselves,whileRomanticshavedifficultysustainingagoalorientationbecauseoftheirfluctuatinganddeepfeelingsbroughtonbytheirpreoccupationwithrelationshipsandinwardfocusofattention.

TypesThreeandFive.PerformersandObserverscanbeconsideredlook-aliketypesbecausebothcanbeorientedtowardtasks,objectivity,competency,activities,andgettingthingsdone,andatthesametimebothdetachfromtheirfeelingsorsuspendtheirfeelingssoasnottobeoverlyinfluencedbythem.However,Observersarehighlymentalandareactiveandenergeticinburstsinterspersedwithdistinctperiodsofretraction—timespentrechargingandthinkingthingsover.ForPerformers,activityismuchmorecontinuous.Performerswill“keepontrucking”withgo-aheadenergyandconcernaboutpresentingagoodimage.

TypesThreeandSix.PerformersandLoyalSkepticssharesomeofthesamepersonalitytraitsbecausethePerformeristhestresstypeoftheLoyalSkepticandtheLoyalSkepticisthesecuritytypeofthePerformer.Bothtypesarepersonable,practical,highlyactive,andhardworking.Performersfeelingsecurearemorequestioning,reflective,andtrustinginotherstogetthingsdone.LoyalSkepticsinstressmoveintoaction,getconcernedwiththeirimage,andpresstogetgoalsaccomplished.TheydifferinthatLoyalSkepticsneedtogetmobilizedforaction,overcomingperceivedpitfallsanddoubts,whilePerformerssustainagoalorientationwiththeiractive,go-aheadenergy.Performersthriveonsuccess,compliments,andrecognition,incontrasttoLoyalSkeptics,whoareuncomfortablewithsuchfeedbackandtendtodoubtit.

TypesThreeandSeven.PerformersandEpicurescanbeconsideredlook-aliketypesbecausebothtypesareactive,assertive,upbeat,task-andactivity-oriented,andoften

overbooked.Bothtendtoavoid“negative”feelingssuchassadnessandsorrow.TheydifferinthatEpicuresnaturallyfocusontheirownpleasuresandinterestsandexperienceasenseofpersonalentitlement,especiallyarighttokeeptheiroptionsopen,whereasPerformersaredriventosucceedbecausetheyneedtomaintaintheirgoodimageandgetexternalapprovalforwhattheyaccomplishinordertosustaintheirself-worth.Performersstriveforefficiency,whileEpicurestendnottobeinterestedinefficiency.

TypesThreeandEight.PerformersandProtectorscanbeconsideredlook-aliketypesbecausebothareassertive,determined,action-andgoal-oriented,andwillingtotakecharge.Bothtypescanradiatecompetenceandconfidenceandmayinadvertentlysteponanyonewhogetsintheirway.However,Performersshiftgears,alterthemselves,orchangedirection,somewhatlikechameleons,inordertogettheirgoalsaccomplished,whileProtectorsholdtoaposition,getconfrontational,andexpressangerdirectlyandeasily.Performers’angermostlycomesupwhentheyfeelobstructedingettingtoagoal.

TypesThreeandNine.PerformersandMediatorspossesssomepersonalitytraitsincommonbecausethePerformeristhesecuritytypeoftheMediatorandtheMediatoristhestresstypeofthePerformer.Bothtypesarepersonable,practical,amiable(wantingtobeliked),andcompetent,andbothdependonexternalsupportandapproval.Performersinstressaremorelikelytogetdivertedintosecondarytasksandputasidetheirpersonalagendasandimage.Mediatorsfeelingsecurebecomemoresingularlyfocusedontheirowngoals,moreefficient,andmoreimage-oriented.TheydifferinthatPerformersarefast-paced,efficient,focusedonachievinggoals,andimpatientwhenobstaclesgetintheirway.Mediatorsareslower-paced,accommodatereadilytotheopinionsandclaimsmadeonthembyothers,andsubstituteothers’agendasandgoalsfortheirown.

TypesFourandFive.RomanticsandObserverslookalikebecauseaswingsofeachothertheysharesomeofthesamepersonalitytraits.Bothcanbeanalytical,introspective,internalized,sensitive,andshy(yetappearsuperior).Dependingonhowmuchtheirwingsinfluencethem,someRomanticswillappearmoredetachedandsomeObserversappearmoreintouchwiththeirfeelings.However,Romanticsarethemostfeelingandemotionaltype—theywantmorefromothersandhavedifficultykeepingtheirpersonalboundaries.Incontrast,Observersarethemostdetachedtype—theywantless,staymoreself-contained,andkeepclearerpersonalboundaries.

TypesFourandSix.RomanticsandcounterphobicLoyalSkepticscanbeconsideredlook-aliketypesbecausebothtypestendtobecontrary,questionsituationsandmagnifythem,opposeauthority,getreckless,breakrules,defydangers,andhaveperiodsofself-doubt.WhileLoyalSkepticsdon’twanttobecometrappedinfeelingsorlongings,Romanticsareattractedtofeelingsandlongings.Romanticsgetexpansiveandwanttobeaffectedemotionally.Furthermore,LoyalSkepticslookforwhatmightgowronginordertoavertorchallengeit,whileRomanticslookforwhatismissingthatcouldbefulfilling.

TypesFourandSeven.RomanticsandEpicurescanbeconsideredlook-aliketypesbecausetheyarebothintenseandidealisticandwantlifetobeadventuresomeandhighlystimulating.Theybothapproachlifebyfocusingonwhattheywant,think,andfeel.However,Epicuresarethemostupbeatandpleasure-seekingtypeandavoidpainandnegativefeelingswheneverpossible,whileRomanticsarejusttheopposite.Theytendtobecomemelancholy,tohavedeepfeelings,andtoacceptpainaspartoflife.

TypesFourandEight.RomanticsandProtectorscanbeconsideredlook-aliketypesbecausebothshowintensity,depth,anddirectnessofexpression(evenflamboyance),alotofenergyoremotion,adesireforauthenticity,and

tendenciestowardrecklessness,impulsivity,andopposition.BecauseRomanticsgodeeplyintotheirownfeelings,however,theyareofteninternallyfocusedandcanfallintoinactionandlosedirection,whereasProtectorsfocusexternally,surmounttheirfeelings,andsustainactionwithconsiderableenergy.

TypesFourandNine.RomanticsandMediatorscanbeconsideredlook-aliketypesbecausetheyarebothrelationship-oriented,caring,andempathic.Bothcangetlostorabsorbedintheircircumstances,feeldeficient,becomeself-deprecating,andlosetheirimpetusforaction.TheydifferinthatMediatorsareorientedtowardothersandliketoblendinandkeeplifesteadyinordertofeelcomfortableandavoidconflict.Romantics,bycontrast,areorientedtowardthemselves,areattachedtobeingspecialorextraordinary,andreadilygotoextremesordepthsofemotionsinordertofeelvitalandalive.

TypesFiveandSix.ObserversandLoyalSkepticslookalikebecauseaswingsofeachotherandasHeadCentertypes,theysharesomeofthesamepersonalitytraits.Bothcanbeanalytical,reflective,thoughtful,hesitanttotakeaction,andretracted(especiallythemorephobicoraccommodatingSix).TheydifferinthatObserversdetachfromordampentheirfeelings,compartmentalizecircumstances,andusuallydelaytheirresponses,whileLoyalSkepticsreactimmediatelytocircumstances,oftenintenselyandwitheitherfearoraction,andtheymagnifythedangerofthecircumstancestowhichtheyarereacting.Thus,Observerscandetachfromcircumstances,whileLoyalSkepticshavedifficultydoingso.

TypesFiveandSeven.ObserversandEpicuressharesomepersonalitytraitsbecausetheObserveristhesecuritytypeoftheEpicureandtheEpicureisthestresstypeoftheObserverandbothareHeadCentertypes.Bothareself-reliant,knowledgeable,andinventive,andbothloveideas.Thesetwotypesavoidpainfulfeelings.Observersinstressbecomemoreexternalized,social,active,andorientedtoward

possibilities.Epicuresfeelingsecurebecomemoreinternalized,solitary,observant,andinwardlyoriented.TheydifferinthatObserversavoidstrongfeelings,containtheirdesiresandneeds,simplifylife,andretracttoprotecttheirboundaries.Epicures,ontheotherhand,activelyseekpositives,expresstheirdesiresandneeds,getexpansiveandoverbooked,andspurnboundariesandlimits.

TypesFiveandEight.ObserversandProtectorssharesomeofthesamepersonalitytraitsbecausetheObserveristhestresstypeoftheProtectorandtheProtectoristhesecuritytypeoftheObserver.Bothtypesvaluerespectandtruth,resistcontrol,becomepossessiveofspaceandkeyresources,andarecurious.Observersfeelingsecurebecomemoreengagedandoutgoingandexpresstheirdesires,theirfeelings,andtheirangerandposition.Protectorsinstressbecomemorewithdrawn,restrained,andreflective.However,ingeneral,Observersarethemostretracted,contained,andmeasuredtypeontheEnneagram:theyconservetheirenergy,reducetheirneeds,andalmostalwaysthinkbeforeacting.Protectors,bycontrast,arethemostexpansive,expressive,andexcessivetypeontheEnneagram:theyexpandtheirenergy,directlyexpresstheirdesiresandtheiranger,andoftenactbeforethinking.

TypesFiveandNine.ObserversandMediatorsareconsideredlook-aliketypesbecausebothtypescanberetractedandintroverted,thoughtfulandunobtrusiveandmayevenseemtobeinvisible.Bothcanpullbackfrombeingoverlyinfluencedbytheirsurroundings.TheydifferinthatObservershabituallydetachfromothersandasserttheirboundariesinself-protection,whereasMediatorsaretheleastabletodetachfromothers;theyhabituallyblendwithothersandgoalongwithotherstokeeplifeharmoniousandcomfortable.

TypesSixandSeven.LoyalSkepticsandEpicureslookalikebecauseaswingsofeachotherandasHeadCentertypes

theysharesomeofthesamepersonalitytraits.Botharementallyquickandoftensharp-witted,analytical,imaginative,andabletoconnectdiverseideas.LoyalSkepticsputanegativespinonexperiences,however,seeingworst-casepossibilitiesandpitfalls,whileEpicuresputapositivespinonexperiences,planningformultiplepositivepossibilities.LoyalSkepticswelcomereassuringlimitsandseektogaincertainty.Epicuresabhorlimitsandseektoexpandtheiroptions.ForLoyalSkeptics,pleasureandpersonalwantsaresecondaryconcerns,butforEpicurestheyareprimary.

TypesSixandEight.CounterphobicLoyalSkepticsandProtectorscanbeconsideredlook-aliketypesbecausebothcanbeaggressive,challenging,andconfrontational.Bothcanseemfearless,andbothfightforcauses.Bothshareaviewoftheworldasunfriendlyanduntrustworthy.Differencesarise,however,inhowthetwotypestakeaction.LoyalSkepticsusuallyhavemomentsoffearorhesitationbeforetakingaction;theymaymagnifyandexperiencethehazards,andsometimestheygivewayunderpressureasdoubtsandquestionsarise.Bycontrast,Protectorsreactfrominstinct;theytakeactionwithouthesitation,minimizeordenydangers,andholdtheirgroundwhiledenyingtheirvulnerability.Sixesseekcertainty,whereasEightsalwayshaveit—asthesayinggoes,theyare“oftenwrongbutneverindoubt.”

TypesSixandNine.LoyalSkepticsandMediatorshavesomepersonalitytraitsincommonbecausetheLoyalSkepticisthestresstypeoftheMediatorandtheMediatoristhesecuritytypeoftheLoyalSkeptic.BothMediatorsandthemorephobicLoyalSkepticscanbeagreeable,accommodating,friendly,anxioustoplease,self-effacing,sensitive,andeagertoavoidconflict.LoyalSkepticsfeelingsecurearemoreatease,relaxed,andacceptingoflifeasitis.Mediatorsinstressbecomefearful,questioning,wary,andmobilizedforaction.However,LoyalSkepticskeepsomepersonaldistance,stayingfocusedonpotentialhazardsandwhatcouldgowrong,whileMediators,the

mostother-orientedtype,oftenlosethemselvesintherequestsandclaimsmadeonthembyothers.Mediatorsgoalongwithothersbeforetestingandquestioning,whereasLoyalSkepticstestandquestionbeforegoingalongwithothers.LoyalSkepticsarefast-pacedintheirthinkingandreacting,whileMediatorstakemoretimetoprocesstheirthoughtsandhenceareslower-pacedmentallyandintheirreactions.

TypesSevenandEight.EpicuresandProtectorslookalikebecauseaswingsofeachothertheysharecertainpersonalitytraits.Bothareself-assertive,expresstheirwantsanddesires,believeintheirownpowerandability,resistlimitsandcontrols,andarepleasure-oriented.Bothhavehighenergyandlittleinnerrestrainingforce.Epicuresavoidpain,explainawayorrationalizedifficulties,escapeconflicts,andgointofutureplanning.Protectors,however,acceptpain,engageindifficulties,confrontconflictsdirectly,andlivemostlyinthepresent.

TypesSevenandNine.EpicuresandMediatorscanbeconsideredlook-aliketypesbecausebothwantlifetobepleasantandupbeat.Theyareadaptableandwanttobelikedandtogetalongwithothers.Theybothavoidconflict.However,Epicuresaremorefreneticandfast-paced,whileMediatorsaremoreeven-temperedandslower-paced.Epicuresdefinitelyareorientedtowardthemselves,knowingandexpressingtheirownwants,agendas,andopinions.Incontrast,Mediatorsareorientedtowardothers,forgettingordeferringtheirownwants,agendas,andopinions.

TypesEightandNine.ProtectorsandMediatorslookalikebecauseaswingsofeachotherandasBodyCentertypestheysharesomepersonalitytraits.Bothenjoyearthypleasures,havegutreactions,seekcomfort,andarefriendlyandsteadfast.Bothcangetdivertedfromessentialpriorities.ThekeydifferencesarethatProtectorswelcomeconflictandevenanger,whileMediatorsavoidconflictandanger.Protectorsfocusontheirownopinions,often

expressinganddefendingtheiropinionsasfact.Theyaredecisive.Bycontrast,Mediatorsareorientedtowardtheopinionsandviewsofothersandcanlosetheirownpositionsindeferringtoothers.Theyareoftenindecisiveandgoalongwithotherstogetalong.

HowtoConfirmandVerifyYourType

ConfirmingYourTypeforYourselfWhenyouhavereachedapreliminarydecisionaboutthepersonalitytypethatfitsyou,considerusingthefollowingquestionstoconfirmyourdecision:

1. WhenIamunderstressorwhenImobilizeforaction,doIshiftintosomeaspectsofthestresstypeconnectedwiththetypeIbelievetobemycorrectpersonalitytype?

2. WhenIfeelrelaxedandsecureorwhenIfeeloverwhelmingstress,doIshiftintosomeaspectsofthesecuritytypeconnectedwiththetypeIbelievetobemycorrectpersonalitytype?

3. DoIexhibitsomeofthefeaturesofoneorbothofthewingsconnectedwiththetypeIbelievetobemycorrectpersonalitytype?

VerifyingYourTypeOnceyouhavediscoveredandconfirmedthepersonalitytypethatyoubelievebestfitsyou,consideraskingsomeonewhoknowsyouwelltoobjectivelyverifyyourpersonalitytype.HavethatpersonusetheEssentialEnneagramTestaswellastheTypeDescriptionpagestoreviewthepersonalitytypeyouchoseandtoreviewthealternativetypesyouconsidered.

IfyouwouldliketolearnmoreabouttheEnneagram,pleaseseeappendixA,“AdditionalEnneagramResources.”

HowtoBuildSelf-UnderstandingValueofSelf-ObservationinDiscoveringYourTypeUltimately,youdiscoveryourEnneagrampersonalitytypeandfacilitateyourpersonaldevelopmentbyobservinghowyourmindworks,whatyourheartfeels,andwhatyourbodyexperiences.Todevelopself-awarenessandself-understandingrequiresagoodself-observer.Self-observationpracticesareessentialtotheprocessofpersonal,professional,andspiritualdevelopmentandtothemanagementofpersonality.Justasphysicalwell-being,fitness,andperformancedependonregularexercise,somentalwell-being,fitness,andperformancedependonpracticingregularself-observation.

AfundamentalwaytodevelopyourabilitytoobserveyourselfistolearnandpracticethebreathingandcenteringexerciseinSection2.Self-observationpracticefacilitatesnotonlythedevelopmentofreceptivityandawareness,butultimatelyempathyandtheabilitytoreflectinthemoment.Self-observationpracticealsoisthebasicexercisefornoticingwhereyourattentionandenergygoandwhatthoughts,feelings,andphysicalsensationsyouexperience.Throughthispractice,youcandiscoveryourhabitualpatternsandpreoccupationsandyourembodiedcorebeliefs.ObservingthesepatternsandpreoccupationswillbeveryhelpfulindiscoveringyourEnneagrampersonalitytypebecausetheyarewhatdistinguishonepersonalityfromanother.Asyoudeveloptheskillofobservinghowyouhabituallyuseyourattentionandenergy,youcanlearntodirectyourattentionandenergytowhereyoureallywantthemtogo.Self-observationskillsarefundamentaltodevelopingconsciousawarenessandconsciousconduct.Developingtheseskillscangiveanyonetheabilitytoseethemselvesandothersmoreclearlyandkindly.

SECTION2:WhattoDoWhenYouHaveDiscoveredYourType

Thissectionisdividedintotwoparts.AlloftheinformationandexercisesinthefirstpartapplyequallytoallnineEnneagrampersonalitytypes.Part1beginswiththeguidelinesforoptimallearningfollowedbyabreathingandcenteringexercisetodevelopself-observationandreceptiveawareness.WethendescribefivegeneralEnneagramprinciplesthatwillaidyouinunderstandingyourself.Finally,wepresenttheUniversalGrowthProcess(UGP),consistingofthe“4As”ofawareness,acceptance,action,andadherence.*

Part2offersaseriesofsuggestedpracticesthataretailoredtoeachpersonalitytypeandprovidesapracticalmeansforpursuingself-development.

PART1:GENERALPRACTICESANDPRINCIPLESFORALLTYPES

TheGuidelinesforOptimalLearningTheseguidelinesapplytoanysituation,whetherpleasant,challenging,ordistressing.Theyareuniversal.Keeptheminmindasyoudothepracticesinthissection.

Letyourselfbeascenteredandgroundedinthepresentmomentasyoucan.Thebreathingandcenteringpracticethatfollowsprovidesahowto.Allowyourselftohaveanopen,receptive,compassionateheart,beginningwithyourself.Allowyourselftohaveanopen,receptive,andnon-judgingmindthatisnotbusyformingresponsesanddefenses.Letyourselfbecuriousandexploratory,asachildnaturallyis.Anticipatepersonalgainorvalueregardlessofthedifficulty.Becommittedtomakingthenecessaryefforttolearn,sincealllearningrequireseffort.

BreathingandCenteringSteps:BuildingReceptiveAwarenessThefollowingbreathingandcenteringpracticeisreferredtothroughouttherestofthissection.Itisakeytoolthatcanhelpyouasyouundertakethesuggestedpracticesforpersonalandprofessionaldevelopment.Thebenefitsofthiskindofmindfulnesspracticecanbefar-reachingbothmentallyandphysicallysinceithelpsyoudevelopmoreflexibility,adaptability,andunderstanding,aswellasthevitalskillofreflection,andtakesonlyafewminutesinyourday.

Thispracticeisdesignedtodirectyourattentioninward,toquietyourmind,andtofocusyourattention.Ifyouwish,youcantapethestepsoutlinedhereandthenlistentothemasyoupractice.Youcanpracticethesestepsforafewminutesorforaslongasyoulike.Inthebeginning,tentotwentyminutesofregulardailypracticeisoptimal.Ofcourse,youcandoabreathingpracticewheneveryoufeelaneedtoobserveyourreactivityanddefensiveness,reduceyourdesiretoactonit,andrecenteryourself.Whenyouusethebreathingexerciseforthepracticesdescribedlaterinthissection,wesuggestthatyoudoitforjustlongenoughtorecenteryourself.

StepstoTake

1. Sitinachaircomfortablyuprightwithyourlegsuncrossedandyourfeetflatonthefloor.Closeyoureyesorsoftenyourgazetohelpremoveyourattentionfromyourexternalsurroundings.

2. Putyourattentiononyourbreath,concentratingonitasyoubreatheinandout.Letyourmentalstatebereceptive.Followyourbreath,lettingyourbodyrelaxasyoubreathe.Yourbreathisagoodinternalreferencepointbecauseitisalwaysthereineverymoment.Andyourbreathprovidesaneutralfocusbecauseithasnocontentoragendaofitsown.

3. Asyoufollowyourbreathinanddown,letitdeepenuntilitseemstodisappearrightintothegravitationalcenterofyourbodyinthelowerabdomen.Inthisplaceofgroundingdeepinside,youhaveasolidbasefromwhichtoopenyourheartandbereceptivetoyourselfandothers.

4. Whenyourattentionshiftsawayfromyourbreathingtosomethought,feeling,orsensation,justnoticeithappening.Thenletyourattentionreturntoyourbreath.Asyoucontinuetofollowyourbreath,youcanobservethepatternofyourpreoccupationsandreactions,andthroughawarenessandreflection,graduallybecomefreeofthem.

5. Whenyouhavecompletedthispractice,bringyourattentionslowlyandgentlybacktoyourexternalsurroundings.Becomeawareofyourselfsittinginthechair,hearthesoundsaroundyou,andopenyoureyes.

FiveGeneralPrinciplesInthissection,wediscussfivegeneralprinciplesrelatedtotheEnneagram.Eachofthesefiveprincipleshasthreeinterrelatedcomponents.Inlearningtheprinciples,itmayhelpyoutorememberthateachprinciplehasthreeparts.Comingtoadeepunderstandingofthesefiveprinciplescanbeveryempoweringtoyouasyoupursueyourpersonalandprofessionaldevelopment.

Afterreadingabouteachprinciple,takeafewminutestoconsiderthewaysinwhichyoucouldusethatprincipleinyourlife.Thendothedailypracticesassociatedwiththatprinciple.

PrincipleI:ThreeLawsofBehavior

1. Whereveryourpatternofattentionandenergygo,yourbehaviorfollows.

2. Tochangeyourbehaviorrequiresself-observationofyourpatternofattentionandenergy.

3. Althoughself-observationbecomeseasierasyoupracticeit,itneverbecomeshabitual.Self-observationrequirescontinuingpractice.

Youcanobserveforyourselfthatthesethreelawsofbehaviorarecorrect.Theselawsarecentraltoyourdevelopmentandfundamentaltogivingbothyourpersonal,spiritual,andworklivesmoremeaningandfulfillment.Thelimitingnatureofunmanagedhabitualpersonalityreactionsoftenleadstoconflict,suffering,andevenfailureinyourpersonalandprofessionalrelationships.

PracticeUsingtheThreeLawsofBehavior

Onthedaysyoudothispractice,takeafewminutesattheendofthedaytoreviewthefollowingquestions.Recordyourresponsesinajournalifyoulike.

HowdidIdotodayatstayingawareofmypatternofattentionandenergy?WhenIreactedautomaticallytosomeoneorsomething,wasIabletobringbackmyawarenessandredirectmyattentionandenergy?HowcanIbettermanagemypatternofattentionandenergytomorrow?

PrincipleII:ThreeCentersofIntelligenceInWesternpsychologyandeducation,themindorheadhasbeenelevatedtoprominenceas“the”centerofintelligence.Yetthereisalsoanintelligenceoftheheart(emotionalintelligence)andanintelligenceofthebody(sensationsandinstincts).Allthreeoftheseintelligences—mind,heart,andbody—requireongoingcultivation.Recognizing,developing,andvaluingallthreecentersofintelligencearecrucialtoallofusinreachingafulfillinglife.

IntheEnneagram,theinnertriangleoftypes—Three,Six,andNine—arethecoretypesofthesethreecentersofintelligence.Eachcoretypehastwoadjacenttypes,orwings,thatrepresentvariationsontherespectivecoretype.Eachcore

typeanditstwowingsconstituteatriad.Whilealltypesrelyonallthreecentersofintelligence,eachofthetypesreliesmoreheavilyononeofthecenters—theheart,themind,orthebody,dependingonwhichtriadthetypeisin.Thismeans,forexample,thatifyourtypeisinthementalorheadtriad(Five,Six,Seven),yourelymoreontheHeadCenterofintelligencetoguideyouthanontheHeartCenterofintelligenceortheBodyCenterofintelligence.Thesecentersalsorepresentthethreebasicneedsthatweallhaveforlove(HeartCenter),security(HeadCenter),andworth(BodyCenter)andtheircorrespondingthreebasicemotionsfoundinallmammalsofdistress,fear,andangerthatoccurrespectivelywhenlove,security,and/orwortharenotmet.

1. HeartCenter.IfyouareaHeartCentertype—Two,Three,orFour—youtendtoperceivetheworldthroughthefilterofemotionalintelligence.Youstayattunedtothemoodandfeelingstateinothersinordertomaintainyourfeelingofconnectionwiththem.Youdependmorethanothertypesontheapprovalandrecognitionofotherstosupportyourself-esteemandyourdesireforloveandconnection.Toensurethatyougetthatapprovalandrecognition,youcreateanimageofyourselfthatgetsotherstoacceptyouandseeyouasspecial.AllthetypesdependonemotionalintelligencetodevelopthehigherqualitiesoftheHeartCenter,suchasempathy,understanding,compassion,andloving-kindness.HeartCentertypes,however,focusmoreontheneedforlove,connection,affection,bonding,image,andapproval.Whenthreatened,distress,panic,andsadnessoccur.

2. HeadCenter.IfyouareaHeadCentertype—Five,Six,orSeven—youtendtofiltertheworldthroughthementalfaculties.Thegoalsofthisstrategyaretominimizeanxiety,tomanagepotentiallypainfulsituations,andtogainasenseofcertaintythroughthementalprocessesofanalyzing,envisioning,imagining,andplanning.AllthetypesdependonmentalintelligencetodevelopthehigherqualitiesoftheHeadCenter,suchaswisdom,knowing,visioning,andthoughtfulness.ButHeadCentertypesfocusmoreontheneedforsecurity,safety,certainty,assurance,predictability,andopportunity.Whenthreatened,fearandanxietyoccur.

3. BodyCenter.IfyouareaBodyCentertype—Eight,Nine,orOne

—youtendtofiltertheworldthroughanintelligenceofkinestheticandphysicalsensationsandgutinstinct.Youusepersonalpositionandpowertomakelifebethewayyousenseitshouldbe.Youdevisestrategiesthatensureyourplaceintheworldandminimizediscomfort.AllthetypesdependontheBodyCenterofintelligencetobeintouchwiththeenergyneededforaction,todiscernhowmuchpowertouseinsituations,andtosupplyasenseofbeinggroundedintheworld.BodyCentertypes,however,focusmoreontheneedforworth,congruence,comfort,harmony,belonging,andrespect.Whenthreatened,angerandrageoccur.

PracticeUsingtheThreeCentersofIntelligence

Onthedaysyoudothispractice,takeafewminutesattheendofthedaytoreflectonthefollowingquestions.Recordyourresponsesinajournalifyoulike.

Givenmyleadcenterofintelligence,howdidIcultivateallthreecentersofintelligencetoday?InwhatwaysdidImanifestthehigherqualitiesofeachcenterofintelligencetoday?Basedonmyreflection,whathigherqualitiesdoIneedtocultivatetomorrow?

PrincipleIII:ThreeLifeForcesKnowinglyorunknowingly,wealloperatefromthreelifeforcesallthetime,andallofthemareinherentwithinus.

1. ActiveForce.Theactiveforcethatprovidestheenergyforactionandexpressionalsoanimatesyourthoughts,feelings,andimagination.Allthatyoudoandaccomplishinthematerialworldusestheactiveforce.Sometimestheactiveforceisreferredtoasthecreative,affirming,orpositiveforce,becauseitmakesthingshappen.Westernculturesespeciallyvaluethisforce.

2. ReceptiveForce.Thereceptiveforcetakesin,processes,anddigestsallthestimulireceivedbyyoursenses.Itisvitaltounderstandingandappreciatingtheworldyoulivein,tocommunicatingeffectively,andtotakingrightaction.

Receptivityisthebasisofempathyandcompassion.Itissometimesreferredtoastheunderstandingornegativeforce,becauseittakesinand“digests”impressionsandbecauseitcountersorreactstoactiveforce.Westernculturestendtosubordinatethereceptiveforcetotheactiveforceandeventodevalueit.

3. ReconcilingForce.Thereconcilingforceistheforceofconsciousnessorawareness.Itbringsyouractiveandreceptiveforcesintocorrectproportion—intobalanceandharmony.Inthissense,thereconcilingforceisthemasterforcethatyouneedtodevelopinordertocarryoutrightaction.Thereconcilingforceissometimesreferredtoasthepreserving,neutralizing,orneutralforce,becauseithasnopositionpersebutbalancestheothertwoforcesandultimatelysustainsyou.

TheSerenityPrayerexpressesthecentralroleofthesethreelifeforces:GodgrantmetheserenitytoacceptthethingsIcannotchange(receptiveforce),thecouragetochangethethingsIcan(activeforce),andthewisdomtoknowthedifference(reconcilingforce).

Masteringthesethreeforcesrequiresrecognizingthemandunderstandinghowtheyinteract.Youneedtouseyourcontinuingefforteverydaytobringtheactiveforceandthereceptiveforceintoawarenessandbalance.

PracticeBalancingtheThreeLifeForces

Onthedaysyoudothispractice,takeaminuteortwoatthebeginningofthedaytobecomequietandcenteredbydoingthebreathingpracticeforashorttime.Thenrepeattoyourselfoneofthesetwostatements:TodayIwillpracticebeingreceptivetothecommunicationsofothersandawareofmyowninnerexperienceasaguidetomyactions.

TodayIwillpracticebeingawareofmyactiveforceandmyreceptiveforceandworkatbalancingthem.

Periodicallythroughouttheday,reflectonthestatementyouchosetorepeattoyourself.Wesuggestthatyoualternatebetweenthesetwostatementsfromdaytoday.Journalyourresponsestothispracticeifyoulike.

PrincipleIV:ThreeSurvivalBehaviors—TheInstinctualSubtypesHumanevolutionrequiresthreebasicsurvivalbehaviors,referredtointheEnneagramastheinstinctualsubtypes:theself-preservationsubtype,thesocialorgroupsubtype,andtheone-to-oneorintimatesubtype.Becausethesearesurvivalbehaviors,eachEnneagrampersonalitytypeincludesallthreeinstinctualsubtypes.Althoughyoumanifestallthreetosomedegree,youusuallyexpressoneofthesethreeinstinctualsubtypesmorethantheothertwo.Bothenvironmentalcircumstancesandyourpersonality’stypestructureinfluencetheirexpression,especiallythecoreemotionassociatedwithyouradaptivestrategyandwhatyouputyourenergyinto.

1. Self-PreservationInstinctualSubtype.Yourattentionandenergygotoissuesrelatedtopersonalsurvival,suchassafety,security,comfort,protection,andadequatebasicresourcesoffood,shelter,andwarmth.

2. SocialInstinctualSubtype.Yourattentionandenergygotoissuesrelatedtoyourcommunityandgroupmembership,suchasrole,status,socialacceptance,belonging,participation,andfellowship.

3. One-to-OneInstinctualSubtype.Yourattentionandenergygotoissuesrelatedtoconnectioninvitalrelationships,suchasbondingwithspecialothers,sexualintimacy,attractiveness,closeness,union,andmerging.

Sincethesesurvivalinstinctsaredeeplyrootedinevolution,itisimportanttobecomeawareofthemoperatinginyourlifeandhowtheyoftendrive,evendominate,yourbehavior.Onegoalofthisawarenessistobalanceyourowninstinctualsubtypepreoccupationsappropriatelysothatnosubtypedominatesyourlife.Anothergoalofthisawarenessistobeabletoacceptdifferencesbetweenyourselfandothers.Withoutanawarenessoftheinfluenceoftheseinstinctualsubtypepreoccupations,youcanexperienceanimbalanceinwhatyourenergyisdevotedto,andyoucanexperiencemisunderstandingsandconflictwithotherswhosepreoccupationdiffersfromyours.

PracticeDevelopingSubtypeAwareness

Onthedaysyoudothispractice,setasideafewminutestoreflectonthefollowingquestionsaboutsubtypebehaviors.Rememberthatallthreeinstinctual

subtypebehaviorsarepresentinourlives.Journalyourresponsesifyoulike.

Howdotheself-preservation,social,andone-to-oneinstinctualsubtypesmanifestthemselvesinmylife,andwhichonetendstopredominate?Howdoesmymoreprominantinstinctualsubtypepreoccupationcausedifficultyinmyrelationships,andhowdoesitbenefitthem?WhatdoIneedtodo,orstopdoing,tobringbalanceintomylifewithrespecttotheinstinctualsubtypes?

PrincipleV:ThreeLevelsofKnowingandLearningWeallhavethreeinterrelatedwaysofknowingandlearning,anditisusefultobeabletodistinguishamongthem.Althoughthehigherlevelsaremoreadvancedandrequiremoreskill,eachwayhasvalue.

1. KnowingBasedonYourHabitofMind:IncrementalLearning.Thislevelofknowingandlearningisbasedonyourpersonalitytypeandisdeterminedlargelybythecorebeliefsandattentionalstyleofyourtype.Thisleveloflearningoccursalmostautomaticallythroughthefivesenses.Itrequireslittlepersonalawarenessbecauseitisbasedonthehabitualthoughts,feelings,andsensationsofyourtype.Onceyouhaveidentifiedyourpersonalitytype,youcanuseanumberofdifferentstrategiestopromoteyourpersonalgrowth.SeethePersonalDevelopmentsectionoftheTypeDescriptionpagesforalistofthesestrategies.

2. KnowingBasedonConsciousAwareness:ReconstructiveLearning.Thislevelofknowingandlearningrequiresthatyouconsciouslyobserveyourthoughts,feelings,andsensations.Maintainingawarenessofthebiasesgeneratedbyyourtype’scorebeliefs,adaptivestrategy,andattentionalstylegivesyouchoice.Thislevelofknowinginvolvesquestioningandreflectingonyourusualassumptionsandreplacingyourautomaticreactionswithconsciousanddeliberatechoices.Toworkatthislevelofknowingandlearning,youneedtointernalizethematerialontheTypeDescriptionpagesandthepracticesthatappearinthissection.

3. DirectKnowing:TransformationalLearning.Thethirdlevelof

knowingandlearningharnessesthespecificenergyofyourtypeandusesitasatransformingagenttotranscendyourtypeanditscorebeliefs,adaptivestrategy,andattentionalstyle.Directknowingisbasedonalevelofawarenessthatallowsevenactiontoprecede,notfollow,theusualthoughts,feelings,andsensationsofyourtype.Directknowing,ortransformationallearning,requiresthatyoubewillingtoexperienceyourlifefromaperspectivethatisnotbasedonafixedpositionoridentity.Itrequiresthatyoutakeanopenlyreceptivestancefromwhichpersonalitybiasescandropaway.Fromthisstance,yourintellectualcuriosityandemotionalopennessenableyoutoexperiencelifedirectlywithoutthedistortionorbiasofyourtype.TheEnneagramprovidesyouwithspecificwaystopursuethisworkoftransformation.Tomasterthislevelofknowingandlearningisalifelongendeavorandentirelyvoluntary.“Theultimategoalofmydevelopment”intheTypeDescriptionpagesandthereflectionpracticesinthissectionprovideanoverviewofthetransformationtasks.

ElementsofPersonal,Professional,andSpiritualDevelopment:TheUniversalGrowthProcessTheUniversalGrowthProcess(UGP)isapracticalandpowerfulmodelforpersonaldevelopmentthatinterweavesfourcomponentsorprocesses—awareness,acceptance,action,andadherence.Allofthese“4As”arerequiredforeffectiveandlastingchange.Moreover,theyarealwayspresenttosomeextent,andtheyaresimpletolearnandrecall,whichfurtherincreasestheirvalue.

AwarenessUsethebreathingandcenteringpracticedescribedearlieroryourownpracticetoincreaseyourreceptivityandgroundedpresence.Thisisfundamentaltoself-observingyouradaptivestrategy,withitsinterwovenpatternofattentionandenergy;toworkingwithyourstressandanger(yourreactivity);tograspingandreleasingfromnolongervalidcorebeliefs;andtoheighteningyourflexibility,adaptability,andunderstanding.Change,growth,anddevelopmentdependonawareness.Andthepracticeprovidesabasisforreflection“onthespot”whenyouarefacedwithchallenges,distress,orreactivity.

AcceptanceOpenyourhearttoyourselfandotherstoacceptwhateverarisesinthemoment.Thismeansmanifestingcompassionbyadoptingakindandcaringattitudetowardyourselfandothers.Acceptanceincludesbefriendingyourreactivityandworkingwithjudgmentsofselfandothersandwiththeassociatedfeelingsandsensations.Acceptancedoesnotmeanagreeingorcondoning.Rememberthatyoucanworkonlyfromwhereyouare,sinceeveryoneisinadifferentplaceinhisorherjourney.

ActionActioninvolvesthreeinterrelatedsteps.1.Pause.

Noticeyourreactions,upsets,anddistressandthenpause,bybreathingandcentering,tocollectyourenergybackintoyourself—intothegravitationalcenterofyourbodyinthebelly—soastocontainitwhenitwantstodischargeintooldhabitualreactionsandbehaviors.Brieflyput:Notice→pause→collectenergy→contain.

2.Inquiry.Nextpracticethoughtfulandgentlereflectionandinquiryinordertodiscover,discern,andworkwithwhateverreactivity—suchasupset,anger,ordistress—ortheme,especiallytypesturcture,thatarisesinthemoment.ThisiswheretheEnneagramunderstandingsprovideultimatevalue.Adoptastanceofgenuinecuriositytoknowthetruth.Inquiryinvolvesconsideringwhatyourusualreactivityandautomaticresponsesareabout.Theseresponsesarekeystodevelopmentandchangebecausetheymainlyinvolve:

Ourkeyidentifications,ourcorebeliefs,andtheassociatedconcernsandfeelingsdeeplyembeddedinourtypestructureOurpersonalstoriesandwounds

3.ConsciousConduct.Letyour“innercoach”beyourmentorbygentlyencouragingyouintoconsciousconduct,whichmanifestsintwointerrelatedforms:

Releasingintoacceptancebystayingwiththeexperienceorfeltsenseof→loosening→lettinggo→andreexperiencingthefundamentalprincipleyoulostsightof(seePracticeReflectingforeachtypeinSpecificPracticesectionthatfollows).Rememberthatthehigherqualitiesintheultimategoalofyourdevelopment

don’tcomeandgo—yourbeingintouchwiththemcomesandgoes.Takingactionbystayingwiththeexperienceorfeltsense→ofloosening→andmovingintocompassionateactionrespectfulofselfandother.

AdherenceAdherencesimplymeanscommitmenttotheprocessofthe“4As”andtodailypractice.Weallhavemanyopportunitieseachdaytorecommitaswegoonautomaticandgetreactive.Motivationforadherencecarrieswithitexpectationofbenefitandultimatelyahopeforgreaterhappiness.Thus,intentionisanirreducibleingredient.Adherencehonorstheprinciplethatnewlearningisacombinationofobservation,experience,andpractice,forweallhavemindsandbodiescharacterizedbyneuroplasticity—theabilitytoformnewneuralpathways.ThroughadherenceyoucaninternalizetheUniversalGrowthProcessofthe“4As”andcarryoutregularassessmentofyourgrowth.

PART2:SPECIFICPRACTICESFOREACHTYPE

Foreachoftheninepersonalitytypes,youwillfindfivespecificpractices:

Practicereceptiveawareness.Thispracticebuildsyourself-observerandfocusesonakeyaspectofyourtype.

Practicetakingaction.Thispracticefocusesonchangingahabitualbehaviorassociatedwithyourtype.

Practicepreviewingandreviewingyourprogress.Thispracticegivesyoutheopportunitytoworkonthecentralissueofyourtype.Thisisakeypracticefordevelopment.

Practicethe“4As”ofawareness,acceptance,action,andadherence.Thispracticebuildsupyouracceptanceandpersonalmasterybyhelpingyoubefriendyourreactivity,anger,anddefensivenessanddevelopconsciousconductthroughbothlettinggoandtakingcompassionateandrespectfulaction.SeethepreceedingsectionontheUniversalGrowthProcessonPart2foradetaileddescription.

Practicereflectingtoreclaimyourhigherqualities.Thispracticeleadsyoutoreclaimthefundamentalprincipleassociatedwithyourtypeandtopursuetheultimatetaskofself-developmentforyourtype.

PracticesforthePerfectionist(TypeOne)Werecommendthatyoubeginbychoosingjustonepracticetoworkonbeforeyoumoveontotheothers.Itmaytakeyouaweekorsowitheachpracticetoexperienceasenseofprogress.Youmightfindithelpfultokeepajournaltorecordyourdailyresponsestothesepractices.Andyoumaywanttorecordthesepracticessothatyoucanlistentothemashelpfulreminders.

PracticeReceptiveAwarenessPayparticularattentiontoyourinnercriticanditsincessantdemands.Stopseveraltimesadayforaminuteorsotoreflectbybreathingdownandin,allowingyourselftobecomeawareandreceptive.Thenconsiderthefollowingquestions:

HowhaveIbeenjudgingmyselfandothers?Howconstantlypresenthasthevoiceofjudgmentbeen?Howhasmyinnercriticmademefeel?Whatbodilysensationsgowithjudgments?Inwhatwayshasmyinnercriticbeenaffectingmybehavior?

PracticeTakingActionRecallthatPerfectioniststendtobedominatedbythedemandsoftheirinnercritictoalwaysdowhatiscorrectandresponsible.Consequently,theyendupsuppressingtheirpersonalneedsandtheirnaturaldesiresforpleasure.Hereisapractice:

Eachday,Iwillconsciouslyanddeliberatelyincludetimeforpersonalneeds,naturaldesires,andpleasurableactivities(atleastsomeofwhichhavenothingtodowithself-improvementperse)andIwillscheduleinviolatetimefortheseactivities.

Iwilldomybesttonoticewheninternalresistancetodoingenjoyablethingscomesupandusethisresistanceasasignaltogoaheadanddothem.

Tocheckyourprogress,noticeifyouareexperiencingabetterbalanceofworkandpleasureinyourlife.RememberthatPerfectionistscangetsodrivenbytheirsenseofresponsibilityandtheirdrivetodoworkbeforepleasurethattheynevergettothepleasure.

PracticePreviewingandReviewingYourProgress

Preview:

Whenyoufirstgetupinthemorning,centeryourselfbypracticingthebreathingexerciseforafewmoments.Thensaytoyourself:

TodayIwillpracticeacceptingmyownandothers’mistakesanderrorsaspartofthenaturalflowoflife.Iwillpracticeappreciatingdifferentpointsofview,differentvalues,anddifferentwaysofdoingthings.Icandothisbynoticingandreleasingresentmentswhentheyarise,hencepracticingforgiveness.Iwilltrytobringasenseofharmonyandbalancebetweenworkandpleasureintomylifetoday.

Whenyoudothispractice,adoptthestancethatthechangesyouarepreviewingarealreadytrueaboutyou,sincewhatyoucametobelieveandtheassociatedadaptivestrategybasicallyarenolongertrue.

Review:

Intheeveningeachday,takeafewminutestoreviewyourprogress.Askyourself,withanopenmindandheart:

HowdidIdotodayatacceptingmistakesanderrors?Atappreciatingdifferences?Atforgiving?Atexperiencingasenseofharmonyandbalancebetweenworkandpleasure?DidIgetcaughtupinfeelingresentfulaboutothers’mistakesanderrors?

Usewhatyoulearnfromthisreviewtoguideyourthoughtsandactionsforthenextday’spreviewandreviewpractice.

Practicethe“4As”ofAwareness,Acceptance,Action,andAdherenceYoucandothispracticeanumberoftimeseachday,theoreticallyasoftenasyounoticeyourreactivity.Notethatthe“4As”processisclearlyembeddedinthispractice.Itmayhelpindoingthispracticetouse“I”insteadof“you”statements.Incommittingtothispractice,youvirtuallymakelifeyourmindfulnesspractice.Hereisthepractice:

Whenyougetupsetorreactive,noticethatthesourceofyourdistressisunfairness,irresponsibility,orsomethingthatcannotbecorrected,fueledbyyourtensionandsuppressedangerandresentment.

Pausetocollectbackandcontaintheenergyofyourreactivitybybreathingdownintoyourbelly.

Throughnon-judgmentalinquiry,canyoubecomeawarethatyourreactivitycomesfromyourcorebeliefthatyoumustberight,good,andresponsibletobeworthyandthatyoumustavoidbeingsowrongandbadthatyouendupunworthy?

Withdiscernmentcanyourealizethatthisbeliefmostlikelyisjustanoldhabitofmindandgentlycoachyourselfintolettinggoandappreciatingdifferencesandacceptinglifeasitis?

Canyoualsogentlycoachyourselfintoactionthatisrespectfultoyourselfandothersandintegratespleasurewithhealthyrestraint?

Remindyourselftonoticeandabsorbhowacceptanceofselfandothersisreceivedandwelcomed.

PracticeReflectingtoReclaimYourHigherQualitiesAtleastonceaweek,takeafewminutesinaquietplacetoreflectuponand

contemplateboththefundamentalprincipleandtheultimatetaskforPerfectionists.Anaturaloutdoorsettingisanidealplacetodothis.Simplyreflectonthefollowing:

ThefundamentalprinciplethatPerfectionistslosesightofandneedtoreclaimisthatwearealloneandweareperfectasweare.Therefore,theultimatetaskforPerfectionistsistoreclaimperfectionbyregainingasensethatlifeisasitis,notdividedintorightandwrongasPerfectionistsperceiveittobe.Thisultimatetaskismoreeasilyaccomplishedwhenyouacceptdifferencesandmistakes,experiencecompassionandforgivenesstowardyourselfandothers,andallowyourselftimetorelaxandenjoylife.

Thenexplorewhatadoptingthesetruthswouldmeantoyourlife.Youarelikelytoexperienceincreasingacceptanceoflifeasitis—theinnerpeacefulnessandserenitythatnaturallyresultfromthispractice.

PracticesfortheGiver(TypeTwo)

Werecommendthatyoubeginbychoosingjustonepracticetoworkonbeforeyoumoveontotheothers.Itmaytakeyouaweekormorewitheachpracticetoexperienceasenseofprogress.Youmightfindithelpfultokeepajournaltorecordyourdailyresponsestothesepractices.Andyoumaywanttorecordthesepracticessothatyoucanlistentothemashelpfulreminders.

PracticeReceptiveAwarenessPayparticularattentiontohowmuchyourattentionandenergygototheneedsandfeelingsofothers.Stopseveraltimesadayforaminuteorsotoreflectbybreathingdownandin,allowingyourselftobecomeawareandreceptive.Thenconsiderthefollowingquestions:

Howmuchofmyattentionandenergyhavegoneintorespondingtoothers’wants,needs,andfeelings?WhathaveIdonewhenI’veseenthatsomeoneorsomethingneedsmyhelp?InwhatwayshaveIbeenadaptingmyselftomeetothers’expectations?WhathappensinsidemewhenIdon’tfeelappreciated?

PracticeTakingActionRecallthatGiverstendtobelievetheymustfulfillothers’needsinordertogainapprovalandlove.Hereisapractice:

EachdayIwillmakeaconsciousefforttoaskmyselfwhatIwantandneedfrombothmyselfandothers,anddeliberatelymakemyownwantsandneedsapriority.

IwilldomybesttonoticethatwhenafeelingofselfishnessorguiltcomesupitcanstopmefromtakingcareofmyselforfromaskingwhatIneedfromothers.IfInoticearisingemotionalintensityinmyself,IwillusethisfeelingasacluethatIamnotpayingsufficientattentiontomyownwantsandneeds.

Tocheckyourprogress,noticeifyouarereallyfeelingnurtured.RememberthatGivershaveapowerfultendencytorepresstheirownneedsandbecomeabsorbedinfulfillingothers’needs.


Preview:


TodayIwillpracticegivingandreceivingequallyasmyownneedsandothers’needsbecomeapparenttome.Iwillpracticedoingthiswithanopenandgenerousheart.Icandothisbytakingtimetodevelopmyownindependenceandautonomy,bynurturingmyowninterests,andbylookingoutformyownwell-beingasconscientiouslyasIlookoutfortheinterestsandwell-beingofothers.


Review:


HowdidIdotodayingivingandreceivingequally?HowdidIdoinbeingopenandgeneroustowardmyselfaswellasothers?DidItaketimetofulfillmyowninterestsandneeds?WhatdidIallowmyselftoreceivefromothers?DidIgetcaughtupinfeelingpridefulorindispensable?


Workingwiththe“4As”ofAwareness,Acceptance,Action,andAdherenceYoucandothispracticeanumberoftimeseachday,theoreticallyasoftenasyounoticeyourreactivity.Notethatthe“4As”processisclearlyembeddedinthispractice.Itmayhelpindoingthispracticetouse“I”insteadof“you”statements.Incommittingtothispractice,youvirtuallymakelifeyourmindfulnesspractice.Hereisthepractice:

Whenyougetupsetorreactivenoticethatyouarefeelingfrustratedinyourdesiretohelpandinyourconvictionthatyouknowbestwhatisneededinthesituation,fueledbyafeelingofprideandasenseofindispensability.


Throughnon-judgmentalinquiry,canyoubecomeawarethatyourreactivitycomesfromyourcorebeliefthatyoumustfulfilltheneedsofothersinordertobelovedandapprovedandtoavoidfeelinguselessandhencedispensable?

Withdiscernmentcanyourealizethatthisbeliefmostlikelyisjustanoldhabitofmindandgentlycoachyourselfintolettinggoofit,realizingthatinrelationshipsitisjustasgoodtoreceiveasitistogive?

Canyoualsogentlycoachyourselfintoactionthatisrespectfultoyourselfandothersandopenheartedlyintegratesyourandothers’needs?Thenyoucanengageinwhatreallyisneededfreelyfromyourownseparateself.

Remindyourselftonoticeandabsorbthatlovenaturallyflowsbothfromandtoyou.

PracticeReflectingtoReclaimYourHigherQualities

Atleastonceaweek,takeafewminutesinaquietplacetoreflectuponandcontemplateboththefundamentalprincipleandtheultimatetaskforGivers.Anaturaloutdoorsettingisanidealplacetodothis.Simplyreflectonthefollowing:

ThefundamentalprinciplethatGiverslosesightofandneedtoreclaimisthateveryone’sneedscanbeequallyandfreelymet.Therefore,theultimatetaskforGiversistorealizethatbeinglovedandreceivingapprovalarenotdependentonbeingneededanddon’tdependonhowmuchyougivetoothers.Thisultimatetaskismoreeasilyaccomplishedwhenyourealizethatpayingattentiontoyourownpersonalwantsandneedsandreceivingwhatyouwantandneedfromothersisasimportantastakingcareofthewantsandneedsofothers.

Thenexplorewhatadoptingthesetruthswouldmeantoyourlife.Youarelikelytoexperienceanincreasingsenseofcalm,freedom,andhumilityorhumblenessthatnaturallyresultfromthispractice.

PracticesforthePerformer(TypeThree)


PracticeReceptiveAwarenessPayparticularattentiontoyourfeelingsandyourtendencytoputthemasideinfavorofefficientaction.Stopseveraltimesadayforaminuteorsotoreflectbybreathingdownandin,allowingyourselftobecomeawareandreceptive.Thenconsiderthefollowingquestions:

WhatfeelingshaveoccurredinmesinceIlaststoppedtocheck?WhattaskswasIputtingmyenergyintowhenthesefeelingscameup?HowhaveIavoidedorsuspendedthesefeelings?HaveItakenanytimetoslowmypaceand“smelltheflowers”?

PracticeTakingActionRecallthatPerformersoftensuspendoravoidfeelingsbecausefeelingsseemtogetinthewayofefficientaction.Hereisapractice:

EachdayIwillmakeaconsciousefforttomoderatemypaceatworkandinmypersonallife.

Iwilldomybesttonoticemyhard-drivingenergy,mytimeurgencyandimpatience,andmypreoccupationwiththingstodo.Knowingthatmytendencyistodoeverythingfast,Iwillstopmyselfforafewmoments,andbreathedeeplyandslowly,allowingmyattentiontofollowmybreathintothecenterofmybodyandawayfromthedemandsoftheworld.Then,inthisquieterstate,Iwilldeterminetopracticeamoremoderatepace.

Tocheckyourprogress,noticeifyouaretakingthetimetobeawareofyourownfeelingsandtoreallylistentoothers.RememberthatPerformerscangetsofocusedonsettingmultiplegoalsandachievingresultsthattheyscreenouttheirownfeelingsandwhatothersaretryingtocommunicatetothem.


Preview:


TodayIwillpracticeknowingthatgettingthingsdoneisnotsolelydependentonmyowneffortandefficiency.IwillpracticelettinggoofconstantdoingandbecomemoreconsciousofwhatIreallyneedtodo.Icandothisbystayingintouchwithmyfeelingsandlettingthemguideme.


Review:


HowdidIdotodayatdistinguishingbetweenwhatIcouldletgoofandwhatIcouldaccomplish?HowreceptivewasItomyrealfeelingsandtomaintainingapaceinharmonywithmywholebeing?



Whenyougetupsetorreactive,noticethatyouarebeingthwartedinyoureffortstoaccomplishyourtasksandgoalsandtogetapprovalbydoingthings,andthatyourfrustrationisbeingfueledbyyourgo-aheadenergy,whichblocksyourheartfeltfeelings.


Throughnon-judgmentalinquiry,canyoubecomeawarethatyourreactivitycomesfromyourcorebeliefthatyougainloveandapprovalprimarilythroughwhatyoudoandaccomplishandbyhowwellyouavoidbeingincompetentandanutterfailure?

Withdiscernmentcanyourealizethatthisbeliefmostlikelyisjustanoldhabitofmindandgentlycoachyourselfintolettinggo,realizingthatlovecomesfrombeingaswellasfromdoing?

Canyoualsogentlycoachyourselfintoactionthatisrespectfultoyourselfandothersandintegratesfeelingwithaction?Noticeyourpaceandslowitdown;easeuponthepressureyouputonyourself.Letyourheartbereceptivetoyourowntruefeelingsandtoothers.

Remindyourselftonoticeandabsorbtherealitythatloveisnotdependent

onwhatyouaccomplish.

PracticeReflectingtoReclaimYourHigherQualitiesAtleastonceaweek,takeafewminutesinaquietplacetoreflectuponandcontemplateboththefundamentalprincipleandtheultimatetaskforPerformers.Anaturaloutdoorsettingisanidealplacetodothis.Simplyreflectonthefollowing:

ThefundamentalprinciplethatPerformerslosesightofandneedtoreclaimisthateverythingworksandgetsdonenaturallyaccordingtouniversallaws,notsimplybytheindividualeffortsofthedoer.Therefore,theultimatetaskforPerformersistoknowthatrecognitionandlovecomefromwhoyouare,notfromwhatyoudo.Thisultimatetaskismoreeasilyaccomplishedwhenyouacceptthatconstantaccomplishmentisnotwhatlifeisabout.

Thenexplorewhatadoptingthesetruthswouldmeantoyourlife.Thispracticeislikelytohelpyouexperienceamoderatedpaceaswellastheveracityofyourowntruefeelingsthatnaturallyresultfromthispractice.

PracticesfortheRomantic(TypeFour)


PracticeReceptiveAwarenessPayparticularattentiontohowmuchtimeyouspendmissingandlongingforthingsthatfeelimportantbutarenotpresentinyourlife.Stopseveraltimesadayforaminuteorsotoreflectbybreathingdownandin,allowingyourselftobecomeawareandreceptive.Thenconsiderthefollowingquestions:

WhathaveIbeenfeelingdisappointedabout?WhathaveIbeenfeelingthatthere’snotenoughofinmylife?Howhaswhatseemsspecialorideal,butnotavailable,beeninfluencingme?Howhasmyattentionbeengoingtowhatismissingratherthanwhatispresent?HowhaveIabandonedmyheart,mygoodfeelingaboutmyself?WhatorwhohaveIbeenexperiencingasjustfineandnotlackinginanyway?

PracticeTakingActionRecallthatRomanticsoftengetsoabsorbedinwhatwouldbeidealbutislackingthattheytendtomisswhatispositiveaboutthepresent.Hereisapractice:

EachdayIwillconsciouslyembraceandappreciatetheordinaryexperiencesofeverydaylife.Iwillappreciatethelittlethings,suchasnecessarydailytasks,ordinaryencounterswithothers,andwhateverbeautyisaroundme.

WhenInoticemyattentiondriftingawaytowhatismissingorIbegintofeeldisappointedwiththewaythingsare,Iwilldomybesttousethisexperienceasasignaltoreturnmyattentiontothepresentandtomaketheordinarymeaningful.

Tocheckyourprogress,noticeifyouareexperiencingthepresentasmorefulfillingandlessdisappointing.RememberthatRomantics,becausetheirattentionisabsorbedinpastandfutureideals,oftenfailtoappreciatemuchofordinaryeverydaylife.


Preview:


TodayIwillpracticelivinginemotionalbalanceandsustainingasteadycourseofaction,despiteanyfluctuatingfeelingsIexperience.Icandothisbynotbeingswayedbystrongemotionsordominatedbywhatisdisappointing,andbyappreciatingwhatispositiveandmeaningfulintheflowoflife.


Review:


HowdidIdotodayatappreciatingwhatispresentandfulfillinginmyliferatherthanlamentingwhatisabsentanddisappointing?DidIsustainasteadycourseofactiondespitefluctuatingfeelings?DidIresistgettingabsorbedinstrongfeelingsoflongingorenvy?DidIexperiencemoreofasenseofwholeness?



Whenyougetupsetorreactivenoticethatyouareconcernedaboutdisappointmentsandwhatyoufeelismissingfromyourlifeandthatyourfeelingsarefueledbyyourdeeplongingandenvyforwhatothersseemtohave.


Throughnon-judgmentalinquiry,canyoubecomeawarethatyourreactivitycomesfromyourcorebeliefthatinordertobetrulylovedyoumustobtaintheidealloveorsituationandavoidthefeelingthatyouarelackinganddeficient?

Withdiscernmentcanyourealizethatthisbeliefmostlikelyisjustanoldhabitofmindandgentlycoachyourselfintolettinggo,realizingthatlifeandlovearebasedonwhatispresent,notwhatismissing?Noticethatyourintenseemotionscomefromaninnersenseofloss,oflacking.Steadyyourselfinthepresentwithwhatishereandnow.

Canyoualsogentlycoachyourselfintoactionthatisrespectfultoyourselfandotherswithafocusonwhatispresent,notwhatismissing?

Remindyourselftonoticeandabsorbthatwholenessexistsinwhatyoualreadyareandinyouracceptanceofothersastheyare.

PracticeReflectingtoReclaimYourHigherQualitiesAtleastonceaweek,takeafewminutesinaquietplacetoreflectuponandcontemplateboththefundamentalprincipleandtheultimatetaskforRomantics.Anaturaloutdoorsettingisanidealplacetodothis.Simplyreflectonthefollowing:

ThefundamentalprinciplethatRomanticslosesightofandneedtoreclaimisthateveryonecanhaveadeepandcompleteconnectiontoallothersandallthings.Therefore,theultimatetaskforRomanticsistorealizethatasenseofwholenessandlovecomefromappreciatingwhatisalreadypresentinthehereandnow.Thisultimatetaskismoreeasilyaccomplishedwhenyourealizethatfeelingsofsomethingmissingareaconsequenceofidealizingthepastandthefutureinsteadoffocusingonsatisfactioninthepresent.

Thenexplorewhatadoptingthesetruthswouldmeantoyourlife.Youarelikelytoexperiencethesenseofgratitudeforwhatisandevenequanimitythatnaturallyresultfromthispractice.

PracticesfortheObserver(TypeFive)Werecommendthatyoubeginbychoosingjustonepracticetoworkonbeforeyoumoveontotheothers.Itmaytakeyouaweekormorewitheachpracticetoexperienceasenseofprogress.Youmightfindithelpfultokeepajournaltorecordyourdailyresponsestothesepractices.Andyoumaywanttorecordthesepracticessothatyoucanlistentothemashelpfulreminders.

PracticeReceptiveAwarenessPayparticularattentiontoyourtendencytolimityouremotionalinvolvementandconnectionbydetachingfromyourfeelingsanddisengagingfromothers.Stopseveraltimesadayforaminuteorsotoreflectbybreathingdownandin,allowingyourselftobecomeawareandreceptive.Thenconsiderthefollowingquestions:

HowhaveIbeenlimitingmyemotionalinvolvement?Myengagementwithandconnectiontoothers?InwhatwayshaveIbeenavoidingmyownandothers’feelings?Whenothershaveexpressedtheiremotions,haveIdetachedandwithdrawnintomymind?

PracticeTakingActionRecallthatObserversoftendetachfromtheirfeelingsanddisengagefromothersbecausetheyareconcernedthatothersmightintrudeuponthemanddemandtoomuchofthem.Hereisapractice:

EachdayIwillmakeaconsciousefforttopracticeasenseofabundance.Iwillactfromthepositionthatthereareampleresourcesandenergy.Iwillgivemoreofmyselfandreceivemorefromtheworldaroundme.

Iwilldomybesttoobserveandcountermytendencytowithdrawtoconserveenergy,andusethisasasignaltostaypresentandconnected.

Tocheckyourprogress,noticeifyouarestayingmoreconnectedtoyourfeelingsandmoreengagedwithothersratherthanrevertingtoyourinclinationtoretractorwithdraw.Rememberthatasenseofabundanceseemscounter-instinctivetoObservers,whoareconcernedaboutscarcityandthedepletionofenergyinaworldtheybelievetakestoomuchandgivestoolittle.Andallowyourselftorealizethatretractingactuallyrobsyouofenergy.


Preview:


TodayIwillpracticestayingengagedinwhatisgoingonaroundme.Iwillpracticemaintainingmyconnectiontoothersandtomyownfeelings.Icandothisbyobservingmytendencytowithdrawanddisconnectandbycounteractingthistendency.


Review:


HowdidIdotodayatkeepingmyselfengagedintheflowoflife?WhatdidIdotostayconnectedtoothersandtomyfeelings?HowdidIreversemyself-protectivetendencytoretractandwithdraw?



Whenyougetupsetorreactive,noticethatyourtendencytodetachfromfeelingsandprotectyourselffromintrusiongetsfueledbytheenergyofyourwithdrawalandbyavariceforwhatyoujustcan’tdowithoutisbeingblocked.


Throughnon-judgmentalinquiry,canyoubecomeawarethatyourreactivitycomesfromyourcorebeliefthatyoumustprotectyourselffromaworldthatdemandstoomuchandgivestoolittleinordertoassurelifeandsecurityandtoavoidbeingdrainedoflifeenergy?

Withdiscernmentcanyourealizethatthisbeliefmostlikelyisjustanoldhabitofmindandgentlycoachyourselfintolettinggo,realizingthattheflowoflifeprovidesampleenergyforyoutofullyengageinyourfeelingsandaffirmlife?

Canyoualsogentlycoachyourselfintoactionthatisrespectfultoyourselfandothersandprovidesmutualsupportandengagement?Letyourselfactincongruencewithbothheadandheart.

Remindyourselftonoticeandabsorbhowyouarefulfilled,notemptied,throughthisprocess.

PracticeReflectingtoReclaimYourHigherQualitiesAtleastonceaweek,takeafewminutesinaquietplacetoreflectuponandcontemplateboththefundamentalprincipleandtheultimatetaskforObservers.Anaturaloutdoorsettingisanidealplacetodothis.Simplyrefectonthefollowing:

ThefundamentalprinciplethatObserverslosesightofandneedtoreclaimisthatthereisanamplesupplyofalltheknowledgeandenergyeveryoneneeds.Therefore,theultimatetaskforObserversistostayengagedintheflowoflife,supplyingandreceivingenergyfreely.Thisultimatetaskismoreeasilyaccomplishedwhenyouexperiencethefactthatstayingconnectedwithyourfeelingsandwithothersdoesnotdepleteyoubutinsteadsupportsyou.

Thenexplorewhatadoptingthesetruthswouldmeantoyourlife.Youarelikelytoexperiencethefreerflowoflifeenergyandsenseofengagementandsupportfromothersthatnaturallyresultsfromthispractice.

PracticesfortheLoyalSkeptic(TypeSix)Werecommendthatyoubeginbychoosingjustonepracticetoworkonbeforeyoumoveontotheothers.Itmaytakeyouaweekormorewitheachpracticetoexperienceasenseofprogress.Youmightfindithelpfultokeepajournaltorecordyourdailyresponsestothesepractices.Andyoumaywanttorecordthesepracticessothatyoucanlistentothemashelpfulreminders.

PracticeReceptiveAwarenessPayparticularattentiontohowmuchyourattentionandenergygotoimaginingworst-casescenariosandselectinginformationthatsupportsnegative,harmfulpossibilities.Stopseveraltimesadayforaminuteorsotoreflectbybreathingdownandin,allowingyourselftobecomeawareandreceptive.Thenconsiderthefollowingquestions:

Whatharmfulorhazardousoutcomeshavecometomymind?Whathasfeltthreateningtome?Unpredictable?Untrustworthy?HowhaveIbeenwatchful,wary,cautious,orchallenging?Whatself-doubtsandworst-casescenarioshavebeenpreoccupyingme?HowhaveIbeendwellingonwhatcouldgowrong?

PracticeTakingActionRecallthatLoyalSkepticstendtoquestion,doubt,andfearorchallengewhatcouldgowrongbecauseofalossoftrustinthemselvesandothers.Hereisthepractice:

EachdayIwillmakeaconsciousefforttotakeappropriateactiondespitedoubtorfear.Iwilldomybesttofacewhatseemlikehazards,notavoidthem(aphobicresponse)orchallengethem(acounterphobicresponse).

WhenIfeelapprehensive,anxious,orfearful(phobic)—ortense,hyper,orchallenging(counterphobic)—Iwilldomybesttocenterandgroundmyselfbybreathingdeeplyandthenmoveforwardintoaction,remindingmyselfthatfeardoesnothavetogoawaybeforeIgointoaction.

Tocheckyourprogress,noticeifyouaretakingappropriateactionwithouthavingtofirstdispelfearorexcessivelytestandvalidateyourcourseofaction.RememberthatLoyalSkepticshabituallyavoidhazards(aphobicresponse)orchallengethem(acounterphobicresponse).Asawayofcopingwithdoubtandfear,phobicSixesseeksecurityandcounterphobicSixesdefysecurity.Flightandfightarebothresponsestoperceivedhazards.


Preview:


TodayIwillpracticeactingwithfaithinmyselfandtrustinothers,justasapersonwhoalreadyhasthesequalitieswouldact.IcandothisbytakingactionbeforeIhaveprooforcertaintyaboutmycourseofactionandbybelievinginmyownresourcesandabilities.


Review:


HowdidIdotodayathavingfaithinmyselfandtrustinothers?InwhatwaysdidImoveforwardintoactionwithouthavingtodispelfearorgaincertaintyaboutmycourseofaction?HowwelldidIsteadymyattentiononwhatispositive?


PracticeWorkingwiththe“4As”ofAwareness,Acceptance,Action,andAdherenceYoucandothispracticeanumberoftimeseachday,theoreticallyasoftenasyounoticeyourreactivity.Notethatthe“4As”processisclearlyembeddedinthispractice.Itmayhelpindoingthispracticetouse“I”insteadof“you”statements.Incommittingtothispractice,youvirtuallymakelifeyourmindfulnesspractice.Hereisthepractice:

Whenyougetupsetorreactive,noticethatyouarefocusedonandmagnifyinghazardsandmistrustingwhatandwhomyoucancounton,fueledbyunderlyingfearanddoubt.Ifyouleantowardthecounterphobic,noticeyourcontrarythinkingandneedtofacechallenges.


Throughnon-judgmentalinquiry,canyoubecomeawarethatyourreactivitycomesfromyourcorebeliefthatyoumustseekcertaintyandsecurityinahazardousandunpredictableworldandavoidbecominghelplessanddependentinthiskindofworld?

Withdiscernmentcanyourealizethatthisbeliefmostlikelyisjustanoldhabitofmindandgentlycoachyourselfintolettinggoofit,realizingthatyouhavelostyourfaithinyourselfandtrustinothers?

Canyoualsogentlycoachyourselfintoactionthatisrespectfultoyourselfandothersandprovidestrust-basedsupport?Allowtheenergyinyourimaginings,your“negativespin”onlife,tobeturnedintoanabilitytoseethepositives.

Andfromabaseoftrust,remindyourselftonoticeandabsorbthatthereisnosubstituteforrealfaithinyourselfandtheuniverse.

PracticeReflectingtoReclaimYourHigherQualitiesAtleastonceaweek,takeafewminutesinaquietplacetoreflectuponandcontemplateboththefundamentalprincipleandtheultimatetaskforLoyalSkeptics.Anaturaloutdoorsettingisanidealplacetodothis.Simplyreflectonthefollowing:

ThefundamentalprinciplethatLoyalSkepticslosesightofandneedtoregainisthatwecanallhavefaithinourselves,inothers,andintheworld.Therefore,theultimatetaskforLoyalSkepticsistotrustselfandothers.Thisultimatetaskismoreeasilyaccomplishedwhenyounoticeyourdoubtorfearandcalmit,whenyoumoveaheadinspiteoflingeringdoubtorfear,whenyoudon’tautomaticallychallengehazards,andwhenyouacceptuncertaintyasanaturalpartoflife.

Thenexplorewhatadoptingthesetruthswouldmeantoyourlife.Youarelikelytoexperiencetheinnerassurance,calmness,andquietermindthatnaturallyresultfromthispractice.

PracticesfortheEpicure(TypeSeven)


PracticeReceptiveAwarenessPayparticularattentiontohowmuchyourattentionandenergygotoplanningforpleasurable,positivepossibilities.Stopseveraltimesadayforaminuteorsotoreflectbybreathingdownandin,allowingyourselftobecomeawareandreceptive.Thenconsiderthefollowingquestions:

HowhaveIbeenturningmymindtonewandinterestingactivitieswhenfacedwithsomethingpotentiallynegative?HowhaveIcircumventedfrustrations?Whatvariousoptionsandopportunitieshavebeenabsorbingmyattentionandenergy?HowhaveIbeenescapingwhatmightbepainful?

PracticeTakingActionRecallthatEpicurestrytoavoidfear,pain,andlimitationsbygeneratingmultiplepositiveoptionsforthemselves.ButEpicuresactuallylimitthemselvesbyhabituallysteeringawayfromanythingthatcouldinvolvedistress,fear,orpain.Hereisapractice:

EachdayIwillconsciouslypracticefollowingthroughoneveryagreementImakeandonalltheresponsibilitiesIhaveundertaken,despitethepainsandfrustrationsImayexperience.

Iwilldomybesttorecognizemytendencytoescapewhatfeelslimitingornegative,andnoticehowIcomeupwithgoodreasonsandalternativesforgettingoutofwhatdoesn’tseemorfeelpositive.Iwilldomybesttonoticewhensomething(likethispractice)startstoseemfrustratingandlimitingtome.Iwillusethatasasignalto“holdmyfeettothefire”—tocontinuewhatIhavestarted.

Tocheckyourprogress,noticeifyouarefulfillingtheagreementsandresponsibilitiesthatyoufindtedious,frustrating,orunpleasant.Noticetoohowthisfeels.RememberthattheEpicurestrategyofkeepinglifeupbeatandboundlesscanmakeyoususceptibletothedesiretoescapefrompainfulorfrustratingsituations.


Preview:


TodayIwillpracticekeepingmyattentionandenergyinthepresentmoment,nomatterwhatfrustrationsandpainfulfeelingslifepresentstome.Iwillalsopracticekeepingothersinmind,andnotjustmyownagenda.Icandothisbyacceptingalloflifeinthehereandnowandbystayingawareofmytendencytodivertmyattentionandenergyintoplanningforpleasurableoptionsandfutureopportunities.


Review:


HowdidIdotodayatkeepingmyattentionandenergyinthepresentmoment?HowdidIdoatkeepinginmindthewell-beingofothersaswellasmyownwell-being?HowwelldidIkeepmycommitmenttodoingthispractice?InwhatwaysdidIallowmyselftoexperienceandstaywithfrustratingandpainfulexperiences?



Whenyougetupsetorreactive,noticethatyouareexperiencinglimitationsonyourfreedomandyourefforttokeeplifeupandflowingandthatyourfrustrationisfueledbygluttonyofthemindforpositiveoptions,opportunities,andadventures.


Throughnon-judgmentalinquiry,canyoubecomeawarethatyourreactivitycomesfromyourcorebeliefthatyoumustkeeplifeupandopeninordertohavethegoodandsecurelifeandavoidorescapebeingstuckinpainandsuffering?

Withdiscernmentcanyourealizethatthisbeliefmostlikelyisjustanoldhabitofmindandgentlycoachyourselfintolettinggo,realizingthatthewholenessoflifeincludespainandsadnessaswellaspleasureandjoy?

Canyoualsogentlycoachyourselfintoactionthatisrespectfultoyourselfandothersandopenheartedlyhonorsalloflife?

Deepenyourconcentrationandfocusandremindyourselftonoticeandabsorbthathonoringthefulllifemeansembracingalloflife,itssorrowsaswellasitsjoys,itslimitsaswellasitspossibilities.

PracticeReflectingtoReclaimYourHigherQualitiesAtleastonceaweek,takeafewminutesinaquietplacetoreflectuponandcontemplateboththefundamentalprincipleandtheultimatetaskforEpicures.Anaturaloutdoorsettingisanidealplacetodothis.Simplyreflectonthefollowing:

ThefundamentalprinciplethatEpicureslosesightofandneedtoregainisthatlifeisafullspectrumofpossibilitiestobeexperienceddeeplyandwithsustainedconcentration.Therefore,theultimatetaskforEpicuresistoacceptthatacompletelifecontainsaspectrumofjoyandsorrow,pleasureandpain,opportunityandlimitation.Thisultimatetaskismoreeasilyaccomplishedwhenyouacceptalloflifeinthepresentmoment,keepgroundeddespiteuncomfortableemotionsortedioustasks,andstaypresenttobothyourselfandotherswithfocusedconcentration.

Thenexplorewhatadoptingthesetruthswouldmeantoyourlife.Youarelikelytoexperiencethegreaterwholeness,acceptanceofalloflife,anddeepersenseofjoythatnaturallyresultfromthispractice.

PracticesfortheProtector(TypeEight)


PracticeAwarenessPayparticularattentiontoboththepositiveandnegativeimpactofyourenergyonothers.Stopseveraltimesadayforaminuteorsotoreflectbybreathingdownandin,allowingyourselftobecomeawareandreceptive.Thenconsiderthefollowingquestions:

WhathasbeentheimpactofmyenergyandthewayIexpressmyselfonothers?InwhatwayshaveIevokedresistanceorconfrontation?HaveIcausedotherstobackofffrommeortowithdrawintothemselves?HowhaveIbeenexcessive?Tooloud?Tooinvasive?

PracticeTakingActionRecallthatProtectorshaveabig,forcefulenergythatothersoftenexperienceasexcessive,ortoomuch,evenwhenProtectorsareholdingsomeofitback.ManyProtectorsaresimplyunawarethattheirimpactmaybeoverwhelmingtoothers.Hereisapractice:

Eachday,Iwillmakeaconsciousefforttomoderatemyurgetousedirectactiontoexpressmydesiresandmysenseofjusticeandtruth.

Iwilldomybesttonoticehowtheurgetoexpressmyselfcomesfrommygut,frommybody.IwillcontainmyinitialimpulsetotakedirectactionwhileIconsiderthepossibleconsequences,andaskmyselfifamoremoderateapproachwouldbebetter.

Tocheckyourprogress,noticeifyouarerespectingothers’boundariesandpositionsorifyouareinadvertentlyimposingyourwillonthem.RememberthatProtectorsoftentakeanall-or-nothingapproachtorelatingtoothers,whichmakesitdifficultforthemtobemoderate.


Preview:


TodayIwillpracticecomingtoeachsituationmoreopentoothers’differentpositionsanddifferentenergy.Iwillpracticebeingmoreawareandacceptingofmyownnaturalvulnerabilitiesandtenderfeelings.ItiscrucialthatIrecognizemydenialofvulnerabilityandmyownsofterfeelings,sincethisdenialresultsindeeplyembeddedhabitsthatdon’tservemewell.


Review:


HowdidIdotodayinapproachingeachsituationopentoothers’differentpositionsandenergy?HowwasIatacceptingmyownnaturalvulnerabilitiesandtenderfeelings?HowdidIdoatnoticingmyimpactonothers?



Whenyougetupsetorreactive,noticethatyouareexperiencingblockstoyoursenseoftruthandjusticeandassociatedissuesofpowerandcontrol,allfueledbyyourbig,excessiveenergycalledlust.


Throughnon-judgmentalinquiry,canyoubecomeawarethatyourreactivitycomesfromyourcorebeliefthattogainworthandrespectandtonotbetakenadvantageofyoumustbestrong,powerful,andinvulnerableandavoidbecomingweakandpowerless?

Withdiscernmentcanyourealizethatthisbeliefmostlikelyisjustanoldhabitofmindandgentlycoachyourselfintolettinggo,realizingthatyoururgetotakechargeandimposeyoursenseofjusticeisjustyourversionofthetruthandthewayyouprotectyourselffrombeingvulnerable,whichtoyoumeansweak.

Canyoualsogentlycoachyourselfintoactionthatisrespectfultoyourselfandothersandthroughawarenessapplyforceorenergybefittingthesituation?Letyourselfbevulnerabletoandaffectedbytheexperienceofeachperson’struthandworth.

Remindyourselftonoticeandabsorbthatyouareempoweredbyrespectingboundaries,moderatingyourimpactonothers,andvaluingothers’views.

PracticeReflectingtoReclaimYourHigherQualitiesAtleastonceaweek,takeafewminutesinaquietplacetoreflectuponandcontemplateboththefundamentalprincipleandtheultimatetaskforProtectors.Anaturaloutdoorsettingisanidealplacetodothis.Simplyreflectonthefollowing:

ThefundamentalprinciplethatProtectorslosesightofandneedtoregainisthatweareallinitiallywithoutguileandthatwecanallsensethetruth.Therefore,theultimatetaskforProtectorsistoreclaimtheoriginalinnocenceofcomingtoeachsituationwithoutprejudgingitoroverpoweringitandtorealizethattruthflowsfromuniversallaws,notfrompersonalviews.Thisultimatetaskismoreeasilyaccomplishedwhenyouapproacheachsituationwithanappropriateenergy,orforce,andwithanequalrespectforyourselfandothers.

Thenexplorewhatadoptingthesetruthswouldmeantoyourlife.Youarelikelytoexperiencethemoreopenheartedconnections,heightenedrespectforallbeings,andevenabidingcalmthatnaturallyresultfromthispractice.

PracticesfortheMediator(TypeNine)


PracticeReceptiveAwarenessPayparticularattentiontohowmuchyourattentionandenergyarepulledbyandthendispersedintothemanyclaimsmadeuponyou,leadingtoindecisivenessandover-accommodation.Stopseveraltimesadayforaminuteorsotoreflectbybreathingdownandin,allowingyourselftobecomeawareandreceptive.Thenconsiderthefollowingquestions:

Howhaveallthepeopleandthingsaroundmebeenpullingatandcompetingformyattention?HowindecisivehaveIbeen?InwhatwayshaveIgonealongwithothers’agendasandplans?InwhatwayshaveIbeensidetrackedintofocusingonsecondaryprioritiesorinessentials?

PracticeTakingActionRecallthatMediatorstendtohavetheirattentionpulledbyeverythingaroundthem,whichallowsthemtoblendinandfeelasenseofbelonging.ThisexperienceofbelonginggivesMediatorsasenseoftheirimportance,whichservesasasubstitutefortheirownrealvalueandimportance.Hereisapractice:

Eachday,Iwillmakeaconsciousefforttoplacemyattentiononwhatisimportanttomeandtousemyenergyformyownpriorities,despitethediscomfortorconflictthatmightarisefromdoingthis.

IwilldomybesttonoticethatIexperiencediscomfortasuneasinessinmygut,andbeawarethatgoingalongwithothers’agendasanddivertingmyattentiontosmallpleasuresorsecondarytasksonlyreducesthediscomforttemporarily.Iwillholdmyground,toacknowledgemyimportanceasanindividual,andtoexpressmyselfaccordingly.

Tocheckyourprogress,noticeifyouarefollowingyourownprioritiesandifthisishelpingtorestoreyoursenseofyourimportanceasanindividual.Evaluatehowyouarefacingpotentialandactualsituationsofconflictordiscomfort.RememberthatMediatorstendtoavoidconflictandtoseekcomfortasastrategyforcopingwiththebeliefthattheirownprioritiesandopinionsarenotimportant.


Preview:


TodayIwillpracticetrulylovingmyselfinwaysequaltomyloveofothers.Iwillpracticeappreciatingmygoodqualities.WhenIneedtomakeadecision,Iwilltrytogivemyownopinionasmuchimportanceastheopinionsofothers.Icandothisbysettingmyownpersonalprioritiesandbyrespectingmyownlimitsandboundaries.

Whenyoudothispractice,adoptthestancethatthechangesyouare

previewingarealreadytrueaboutyou,sincewhatyoucametobelieveandtheassociatedadaptivestrategybasicallyarenolongertrue.

Review:


InwhatwaysdidIexpressself-loveandself-regardtoday?HowdidIrespectmyownlimitsandboundaries?HowdidIdoinsettingandcarryingoutmyownpersonalpriorities?DidItreatmyselfasbeingequallyimportantasothers?



Whenyougetupsetorreactive,noticethatyouarefeelingpushedintoactionorconflictbeforeyouknowwhatyouwantorneedandthatthisfeelingisfueledbyaninertiatowardselfthatcausesyoutoforgetyourownpriorities.


Throughnon-judgmentalinquiry,canyoubecomeawarethatyourreactivitycomesfromyourcorebeliefthatyouaren’timportantorthatyouhavetoblendinandhencejustgoalongandgetalongandavoidconflictinordertobeofworthorimportance?

Withdiscernmentcanyourealizethatthisbeliefmostlikelyisjustanoldhabitofmindandgentlycoachyourselfintolettinggo,realizingthatyouneedtoloveandvalueyourselfjustasmuchasyouloveandvalueallothers?

Canyoualsogentlycoachyourselfintoactionthatisrespectfultoyourselfandothersandthattakesintoaccountyourownprioritiesandimportanceaswell

asthoseofothers?Letyourselfhonoryourboundariesandlimits.Remindyourselftonoticeandabsorbthatyoumustbeequallyforyourself

aswellasforothersinordertoliveinharmonyandpurpose.

PracticeReflectingtoReclaimYourHigherQualitiesAtleastonceaweek,takeafewminutesinaquietplacetoreflectuponandcontemplateboththefundamentalprincipleandtheultimatetaskforMediators.Anaturaloutdoorsettingisanidealplacetodothis.Simplyreflectonthefollowing:

ThefundamentalprinciplethatMediatorslosesightofandneedtoregainisthateveryonebelongsequallyinastateofunconditionalloveandunion.Therefore,theultimatetaskforMediatorsistoreclaimunconditionalself-loveandasenseofimportanceequaltothatofothers.Thisultimatetaskismoreeasilyaccomplishedwhenyoupayattentiontoyourownpositionandprioritiesandwhenyouactinthewaysthatareessentialtoyourownwell-beingaswellasthewell-beingofothers.

Thenexplorewhatadoptingthesetruthswouldmeantoyourlife.Youarelikelytoexperiencethenewfoundself-regard,freedomtoexpressyourself,andloveoflifethatnaturallyresultfromthispractice.

AppendixA:AdditionalEnneagramResources

TheresourceslistedherearefromtheEnneagramintheNarrativeTraditionofSelf-DiscoveryofHelenPalmerandDavidDaniels.Teachingandlearninginthistraditioninvolvesusingthepanelinterviewingmethodandtheprocessofinquiryandelicitation,mindfulnesspractices,smallgroupexercises,andlecture.Thismethodembodiestheprincipleofself-discoveryasthefirststepinpersonaldevelopment.TheEssentialEnneagramisbasedonthisprincipleofself-discovery.TheNarrativeTraditionmakesitpossibleforallindividualstospeakforthemselvesastheyaretothemselves.

OurOrganization,Classes,andTrainingsEnneagramWorldwideandtheEnneagramProfessionalTrainingProgram1442-AWalnutStreet,Suite#75Berkeley,CA94709E-mail:[email protected]:(866)366–8973(toll-freein

theUnitedStates)or(513)829–3457SanFranciscoBayAreaphone:(510)234–1600

Website:www.Enneagramworldwide.com.Featureshundredsofpagesofcontent,includingaconciseintroductiontotheEnneagramanditsvalue,the“TouroftheTypes,”allforty-fivecombinationsofrelationships,typeandinstinctualsubtypedetermination,numerousproducts,andlistingofprograms,trainings,andclasses.

Website:www.Enneagram.com.FeaturesHelenPalmer’sonlinecourse,articles,teachingschedule,andavarietyofproducts.

BooksThesetitlesareavailablethroughwww.enneagramworldwide.comor

Amazon.comandatbookstores.TheEnneagram:UnderstandingYourselfandtheOthersinYourLifebyHelen

Palmer.SanFrancisco:HarperSanFrancisco,1988.TheEnneagraminLoveandWorkbyHelenPalmer.SanFrancisco:

HarperSanFrancisco,1995.ThePocketEnneagrambyHelenPalmer.SanFrancisco:HarperSanFrancisco,

1995.TheEnneagramAdvantagebyHelenPalmer.NewYork:HarmonyBooks,1998

(limitedavailability).

DVDsTheseDVDsareavailablethroughwww.ennegramworldwide.com.BreakingOutoftheBox:DiscoveringtheEnneagram,developedforpublic

television;featuringHelenPalmer;producedbyMichaelSchwarz,apremiertelevisionproducer.Avibrantandinformativeintroduction.

NinePathstoaProductiveandFulfillingLife:AComprehensiveOverviewoftheEnneagramandTheEnneagramintheWorkplace:NinePathstoEffectiveLeadershipandPerformance,featuringDavidDanielsandCourtneyBehm.

NinePaths,whichissystematic,comprehensiveandfast-moving,providesafundamentalintroductiontotheEnneagramwithclipsofexemplars,narration,graphics,andlectures.TheEnneagramintheWorkplaceshowssuccessfulbusinessexemplarscoveringleadershipthemesandchallenges.Includestwo16-pageDiscussionGuides.

MenandWomeninRelationship,producedbyHelenPalmer,exploresmaleandfemalepointsofviewinrelationships,presentsthewaysinwhichtypeshowsupinrelationships,andisidealforshowingthedimensionsofrelationship.

TouroftheTypeswithShortCuts,producedbyHelenPalmer,presentsexemplarsofthetypesanddiscusseshabitualpatternsandthemes;italsofeaturesshortcutversionsthatareexcellentforuseinintroductoryclasses.

AudiosandCDsTheseCDsareavailablethroughwww.enneagramworldwide.com.The

Enneagram:Eight-HourIntroductionbyHelenPalmer.ProducedbySoundsTrueRecordings.

TheInstinctualSubtypes:TheEnneagram’sHiddenForce:AConversationwithDavidDaniels,featuringPeterO’Hanrahan,andexemplarsofthetypes.

ConversationswithDavid:AperiodicaudioproductfeaturingDavidDanielsandspecialguestsexploringavarietyofkeyEnneagramtypes.

OrganizationsAssociationofEnneagramTeachersintheNarrativeTradition(AET)Teachers

andparticipantsintheNarrativeTraditiontrainingsP.O.Box68Topsfield,MA01983

Website:www.aetnt.comE-mail:[email protected]

InternationalEnneagramAssociation(IEA)4100ExecutiveParkDrive,Suite16Cincinnati,OH45241Phone:(513)232-5054Website:www.internationalenneagram.orgNewsletters/PeriodicalsTALK

Newsletter/JournaloftheAssociationofEnneagramTeachersintheNarrativeTradition(AET)101ElizabethWay

SanRafael,CA94901E-mail:[email protected]

EnneagramMonthly748WaysideRoadPortolaValley,CA94082Phone:(650)851-4806E-mail:[email protected]

AppendixB:ValidityoftheEssentialEnneagramTest

WedesignedasimpleparagraphtestbasedonlogicalconstructsofthenineEnneagrampersonalitytypesderivedfromthetheoreticalworkofHelenPalmerandDavidDaniels.Eachparagraphincludes:

TheoverallworldviewofthetypeTheattentionalstyleThedominantmentalandemotionalbiasesThecentralpreoccupationsThepositiveattributesofthetype

Weaskedrepresentativesofeachpersonalitytypetoreviewandrevisetheirrespectiveparagraphstoensurethattheparagraphswerecongruentwiththeiractualexperienceofbeingthattype.Wethenreviewedtheirrevisionstoensurethattheparagraphswereaccuratefromatheoreticalstandpointandwereequallysociallydesirable.

WeestablishedthevalidityoftheEssentialEnneagramTestbytesting970individualsthroughouttheUnitedStateswhoenrolledinEnneagramclassesorvolunteeredfortypinginterviews.TheseindividualsdidnotknowtheirEnneagrampersonalitytypeandwereunfamiliarwiththeEnneagram.Sixty-fivepercentofthesamplewerewomen,and35percentweremen.

Wecomparedeachindividual’sEssentialEnneagramTestself-ratingtooneoftwo“goldstandard”ratings:

OneofthegoldstandardsusedwasadiagnostictypinginterviewconductedbyacertifiedEnneagramteacherwhodidnotknowhowtheindividualshadratedthemselves.Theothergoldstandardwastheindividual’sownreevaluationontheAssessmentInventoryaftertakingaten-weekEnneagramcourseoritsequivalent.

Thetwogoldstandardsproducedsimilarresults.TheseresultsconfirmthevalidityoftheEssentialEnneagramTest—thatis,theprobabilitythatuserswillaccuratelyselecttheirpersonalitytypefromamongthenineparagraphs.

Weanalyzedtheresultsforeachofthenineparagraphsseparately.Eachofthenineparagraphs,orpersonalitytypes,hasitsownprobabilityofbeingaccuratelydistinguishedamongthenineEnneagrampersonalitytypes.TheType

DeterminationpagesinTheEssentialEnneagramshowtheaccuracyofeachparagraph.Forexample,thePerfectionistparagraphhasa66percentaccuracy.Thismeansthattwo-thirdsofthepeoplewhoselectedthePerfectionistparagraphastheirtypewerealsoidentifiedasthistypebythegoldstandard,eitherbyanexpert’sratingthroughastructuredintervieworbytheirownreevaluationofthemselvesfollowinganEnneagramcourse.

PeoplesometimeschooseaparagraphintheEssentialEnneagramTestthatisnottheircorrectpersonalitytypebutisoneofthelook-aliketypesassociatedwiththeirpersonalitytypeorisoneofthefourpersonalitytypesconnectedtotheirpersonalitytype.Forthisreason,wealsocalculatedtheprobabilityofindividualsbeingeachoftheothereighttypesiftheirself-ratingwasnotcorrectwhencomparedtothegoldstandard.TheTypeDeterminationpagesinTheEssentialEnneagramshowtheseotheranalyses.Forexample,8percentofthesubjectswhochosethePerfectionistparagraphwereactuallytheRomantictype,8percentweretheLoyalSkeptictype,7percentweretheGivertype,and5percentweretheMediatortype.Theremaining6percentofthosewhocharacterizedthemselvesasPerfectionistweredistributedamongtheremainingfourtypes.

TheTypeDeterminationpageslisttheprobabilityofthetypethatsubjectschosebeingtheircorrecttype.Theyalsolisttheprobabilitiesofothertypesbeingsubjects’correcttypeinstead.TheTypeDeterminationpagesincludestep-by-stepinstructionsfortestingtheaccuracyofone’schoices.Theoverallpatternisameasureofvaliditybasedonthefollowingstatisticalanalyses.

WeanalyzedeachEnneagramparagraphwithrespecttosensitivity,specificity,predictivevalueofpositives,predictivevalueofnegatives,testefficiency,andCohen’sKappatestforintraclasscorrelation.WecomputedKappastatisticsforthetestacrossallninescalesasameasureofoveralltestconcordance.Testvalidityasmeasuredbycongruencyofrespondents’answerstothegoldstandardwasstatisticallyandclinicallysignificant.TheoverallKappafortheentiretestwas0.5254(p<0.0001),consideredasignificantdegreeofconcordance.Allanalysesofindividualitemsexhibitedconcordanceorintraclasscorrelationssignificantatp<0.0001.Weperformedreliabilityanalysiswithasmallnaivegroupofgraduatestudents(n=62).WegavealternativeversionsoftheinventoryfourweeksapartwithoutanintroductiontotheEnneagramandwithoutintroducinganyotherbias.Theanalysisrevealedasignificantconcordance,Kappa=0.589(p<0.0001).

AbouttheAuthors

DAVIDDANIELS,M.D.,isaclinicalprofessorofpsychiatryatStanfordUniversityMedicalSchool,andisaleadingdeveloperoftheEnneagram.

VIRGINIAPRICE,Ph.D.,(1942–2005)wasapsychologistwithaprivatepracticeinPaloAlto.ShewroteTypeABehaviorPattern,abookwidelyregardedasalandmarkinitsfield.

Visitwww.AuthorTracker.comforexclusiveinformationonyourfavoriteHarperCollinsauthor.

Copyright

THEESSENTIALENNEAGRAM:TheDefinitivePersonalityTestandSelf-DiscoveryGuide—RevisedandUpdated.Copyright©2009byDavidN.Daniels,M.D.,andVirginiaA.Price,PhD.AllrightsreservedunderInternationalandPan-AmericanCopyrightConventions.Bypaymentoftherequiredfees,youhavebeengrantedthenon-exclusive,non-transferablerighttoaccessandreadthetextofthise-bookon-screen.Nopartofthistextmaybereproduced,transmitted,down-loaded,decompiled,reverseengineered,orstoredinorintroducedintoanyinformationstorageandretrievalsystem,inanyformorbyanymeans,whetherelectronicormechanical,nowknownorhereinafterinvented,withouttheexpresswrittenpermissionofHarperCollinse-books.

AdobeDigitalEditionSeptember2009ISBN978-0-06-198569-0

10987654321

AboutthePublisher

AustraliaHarperCollinsPublishers(Australia)Pty.Ltd.25RydeRoad(POBox321)Pymble,NSW2073,Australiahttp://www.harpercollinsebooks.com.auCanadaHarperCollinsPublishersLtd.55AvenueRoad,Suite2900Toronto,ON,M5R,3L2,Canadahttp://www.harpercollinsebooks.caNewZealandHarperCollinsPublishers(NewZealand)LimitedP.O.Box1Auckland,NewZealandhttp://www.harpercollins.co.nzUnitedKingdomHarperCollinsPublishersLtd.77-85FulhamPalaceRoadLondon,W68JB,UKhttp://www.harpercollinsebooks.co.ukUnitedStatesHarperCollinsPublishersInc.10East53rdStreetNewYork,NY10022http://www.harpercollinsebooks.com

*TheUniversalGrowthProcesswascocreatedwithmyteachingassociate,TerrySaracino,MA,MBA.

the essential enneagram: the definitive personality test and self-discovery guide

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