the f word - it's not a dirty word [episode 3] wired for success tv

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    ~ Wired for Success TV ~

    Mastering the 7 Areas of Life

    www.wiredforsuccess.tv

    Presented by

    Melanie Gabriel & Beryl Thomas

    [Episode 3]

    The F word its Not a Dirty Word

    http://www.wiredforsuccess.tv/http://www.wiredforsuccess.tv/
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    The F word Its Not A Dirty Word [Episode 3] Wired For Success TV

    [0:00:20]

    Beryl: Welcome to another episode ofhttp://www.wiredforsuccess.tv. I amBeryl Thomas and this is my colleague, Melanie Gabriel. Say hello,Melanie.

    Melanie: Hello everyone.

    Beryl: Here at Wired for Success, we aim to bring you some fresh thinkingand new perspectives to help you master the seven areas of life. For more

    on what these areas are, just head over to our introductory blog atwww.WiredforSuccess.TV.

    And you may be with us today on YouTube or listening by podcast or ofcourse, watching on our site, wherever youre joining us from, wed like togive you a really warm welcome. We have great pleasure in bringing youanother special guest today, Joanna McCormick. Hello, Jo.

    Joanna: Hi, Beryl.

    Beryl:And welcome.

    Joanna: Thank you.

    Beryl: Jo is here to share with us her thoughts and experiences on thesubject of encouraging women to become more comfortable with theirfemininity. Jo describes her many roles as wife, mother, event manager,NLP trainer, and feminine energy coach. Im surprised you have time to bewith us today, Jo. Go on.

    Joanna: I was going to say, well, even though Im at home and this is myfeminine energy coach moment, I guess, the doorbell might ring and thedog might bark. Life still goes on and the mother and wife roles are alwaysthere in the background. So bear with me if that happens.

    Beryl: We will bear with you.

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    Melanie: This is actually appropriate to the topic.

    Beryl: Yes, it is.

    Joanna: Exciting.

    Beryl: So, Jo is passionate about helping every woman realize thatfeminine is not a dirty word and vulnerability does not imply weakness,quite the opposite. But this sounds like a really good juicy topic, Jo. So lets

    just head in. I would like to start by asking you why women need to reviewtheir ideas about femininity.

    Joanna: I think we can see right now in society that there is a massive

    imbalance that even not just society, even the universe itself. The planetis definitely out of balance. And its all about energy balance becauseeverything is energy. Everything just vibrates with the different energy andthats what create solid and thats what create things.

    So its all about getting that energy balance back. And I believe that oncewe as the main inhabitant of this planet that we have, once we regain ourbalance of energies then I think the earth will settle down as well. So, itsalmost like its mirroring whats going on with us. We are in financial crisis.The world is in turmoil. There are wars, theres this and the other. Andoddly enough, if you look at the weather it seems to reflect it. Its weird butthats whats happening.

    So there are tsunamis when there arent normally. There are volcanoeserupting when they dont normally. Earth moving, all the things that areunusual are suddenly happening and I believe its because there is thisimbalance of energy. So its almost like, I want to heal the world just byallowing women to rediscover their femininity. It sounds so simple but Ibelieve that to be true.

    Beryl: And its interesting, isnt it that things have gone so far one way.When I think about my parents generation, women had a very different rolebut now, weve been led to believe that we can have it all and cram it all inand go out to work and sometimes what is a very masculine workplace andit feels like its coming to work a crescendo as youre saying and something

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    needs to change. How did you come in to the story? Im interested in your what excited you about all of this?

    Joanna: I mean I think for me, it was the fact that I learned to be verymasculine woman for most of my life. And thats because my father diedwhen I was very young. My mom then stepped up into the masculine role.So she was at first, she was just a mom who was at home and takingcare of us, the archetypal stay at home mom. She did everything for us andwas amazing at it. And then my father died. And she didnt know how todrive a car and she didnt know how to balance the books and she didntknow any of that.

    Now, she was a very intelligent woman who went to university but chose tobe with her children because thats what she wanted and thats what gave

    her fulfillment. And back then, we were lucky enough that we didnt needtwo parents to be at work every hour of the day in order to get enoughmoney to actually live. So she stayed at home. When he died, I mean itrocked her universe completely.

    And I think she, at this point, was so scared to show any level of weaknessthat she protected herself from the outside world. So, she didnt ask for anyhelp. She didnt there were so many places for her to go to, so manypeople who would have taken care of her and we had an amazing family,amazing friends but she chose to do it all alone. And because of that, shehad to step into a masculine. Thats what masculine energy is. It allows youto be in control, to be focused and driven, to not allow anything to rock you.

    If we take the analogy that a woman is like a sea. Sometimes we can becalm and still and beautiful and sometimes we can be waves that arecrashing. The men are the rocks. They just stand still no matter what.Theyre solid. And thats what she became. And because she wasobviously my role model, I learned from her. And so, I became a very goodman without even knowing it. That combined with schools that just at the

    time, the only important things were the academic qualifications you walkedaway with.

    So therefore, all emphasis was on getting your O levels or A levels andgoing to university and all of that thing. Well, thats one side of your brain.

    And thats the masculine side. Thats very, very male-dominated stuff. Sothat combined with my mom, I mean I grow up and I did brilliantly well at

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    university and I went into career upon career, getting more and morefocused into the masculine work, I ended up being a computerprogrammer.

    You cant really get more masculine when it comes to a job, 100% in yourlogical brain the whole day. And I kind of discovered that it wasnt fulfillingme. And I was 36 when that happened. I was 36 when I made thatdiscovery.

    Beryl: What did you so, Im interested in that. What was that discovery?What was going on inside you? What were you feeling, Jo?

    Joanna:At the time, I was out living in Switzerland. Ive been head huntedto go out there because I was the best in my field. And I was homesick.

    And I was homesick for the connection and companionship of home. Doesthat make sense? Because my family werent here. My family moved awayby that point. My mom now lives in Canada.

    So it wasnt family I was missing but it was home. It was this idea of beingable to connect with everyone around me because the Swiss are verydifferent. If you know anything about the Swiss, theyre very insular.Theyre almost xenophobic. They dont like outsiders at all. So Im there ina situation where people dont want to talk to you, dont want tocommunicate with you. And Im very gregarious and very talkative, as youcan tell.

    So I found that really hard and I was there for two years. And by the end ofthat two years even though I had more money than sense, I absolutelydidnt I knew something was missing and thats when I kind of fell upon apersonal development program that changed my life. Thats when NLPcame into it. And it wasnt until a little bit further on than that that actuallywhen I was in all this NLP, finding out that we can make our own choices,that life doesnt have to be dictated from our past which was such a relief

    for me because I was looking at my past in a I seem to have the sameboom and bust kind of scenario when I was going in relationships, ineverything. And I was going, I dont want that for the rest of my life.

    And the fact that basically these people who I suddenly was trustingbecause they had all these knowledge said to me, It doesnt have to belike that anymore. You can choose your own future. And I was relieved.

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    And then when I found out about masculine and feminine energy throughthe guys I was working within NLP, they brought some amazing speakersto teach us more. And this incredible couple, Tanya and Nicky, who dontreally do relationship work anymore but at that time, that was their thing.They were doing relationship work. And I went to visit them in Austria andwalked away going, I need to change my life because this is fulfillment andI need it in my life now.

    Beryl: So the relationship work, Im interested in that, so are you saying, Jothat this imbalance in you was affecting was affecting your relationships?This male and feminine

    Joanna: Oh, completely.

    Beryl: OK.

    Joanna: Yes. I mean I was either having extremely short-term relationship I was being an archetypal man in that I would find meaninglessrelationships and have very short-term relationships that were fulfilling inonly one area of my life. And thats physical. That was it. And then andthe times that I mean I was married and divorced by this point. And thereason I was married and divorced was because its interesting. When wefirst met, when were dating, women naturally go into feminine. We want tobe taken care of at that point.

    Beryl: Yes.

    Joanna: There is something lovely about a man who chooses therestaurant and takes you there and does all the things for you. And insteadof that feeling like youre being disempowered, suddenly, you feel like thatsthe way it should be. But when we then step into the relationship, itsalmost like, Well now, its real. Im going to take back control. Now, itsreal. Im going to be the one who makes the decisions. Now, its real. Im

    going to do all those things that I did before you came along but I kind ofjust pretended that I could give it up. But actually, I cant.

    Beryl: Thats so true.

    Joanna:And thats what I did.

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    Beryl: Thats what you did.

    Joanna: Yeah, thats what I did. And I ruined what could have been a greatmarriage because of the fact that I didnt allow him to be a man. And if aman doesnt feel like a man, he needs to find it somewhere else. And mendo it in all different ways. They might do it by going off to play golf onweekend or they might go down the pub with their friends or they mightspend all their time on the computer or they might go and find a mistress.Its as simple as that because those things allow them to feel masculineagain and in control. Being the one who is making the decisions and doingthings.

    Beryl: Fascinating.

    Joanna: Oh yeah. So, I didnt allow him to do any of that and he foundsomebody else who did. And so, very, very quickly we went from seeminglybeing very happy to him choosing to leave me because he realized that hecould get what he thought he was getting at the beginning and didntcontinue and he knew he could get it from somebody else. So he went anddid.

    I mean I was lucky, he didnt string out over years and years because somemen do. Some men continue to have a relationship on the side or theycontinue to do this, going sex or whatever it is because of the fact that thatmakes him feel like a man and then they go back to their wife and just lether stamp all over him. Thats what I was doing. I dont do that in mymarriage now.

    But also, its kind of a two-way straight in that firstly, I understand it a lotbetter and therefore, I know when I am going into that danger zone oftaking back control. But my amazing husband who used to be so rightly sobehind me earlier, Brandon, he doesnt let me. He kind of goes, You know,thats not acceptable to me. Thats my job. So leave it for me. And

    because he does that, I go, OK. Youre right. It is. Sorry. And it just itreminds me to stay in my feminine.

    Beryl: So its like you both read the script. You know.

    Joanna: Yeah.

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    Beryl: Thats really helpful.

    Joanna: I was lucky. He already had it unpacked. When we first met, I wasdefinitely still in my masculine phase and he was not attracted to me at all.It was almost like he didnt see me. This is a very interesting point actually.Its one I talk a lot with my women when they say to me, But there isnt anydecent man out there. Theres no man I can trust. Theres no man who isgoing to take care of me like that. Theres no man who is going to treat melike a princess. And I go, Actually, there are but youre not seeing thembecause like a radio dial, youre not tuned into the right energy frequency.

    So instead of hearing them and seeing them all the time, youre actuallyignoring them all the time. And similarly, theyre not seeing you on the rightfrequency. Its just about getting that energy right and then suddenly,

    theres an attraction. And it just was like that with Brandon and I. Threemonths from when I met him, three months later, he asked me out. And heasked me out by sweeping me off my feet. He literally said, Id like to takeyou to South Africa. That was the first thing. There wasnt a, Lets go fordinner and get to know each other. He was like we were talking aboutSouth Africa, I said I always wanted to go and he basically said, Let metake you there. And I went, OK. And then ran off to my girlfriend andwent, I think he might like me.

    Beryl:Go Mel.

    Melanie: Joanna, are you saying that before you discovered your feminineself, had he made that suggestion, you would have had to what wouldyou have what would have been your response previously?

    Joanna: Sorry? Well, I think his response when he first met me was,Thats a bull breaker. Thats the kind of woman who is so masculine. Whywould I Im looking for someone to take care of. She clearly can do it allherself so she doesnt need me.

    Melanie: Right. So it would never have come up. OK.

    Joanna: Yeah, because actually, thats a really important thing for men.They want to feel needed. They need to feel needed. And when were sobusy doing it all ourselves and being super women, oddly enough, theyre

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    not attracted to that. They want us to be going, Actually, you know what? Icant do it myself. Can you help me? Will you please take care of me?

    And suddenly, its like they swell up and they go, Oh yeah, I can do that.Thank you very much. If you say just if you say to any man, I need yourhelp. It changes their life because they hear you saying, I trust you as aman and therefore trust you to be able to help me. They cant hear whatwe say. They hear what their translation is.

    Melanie: So how difficult women who are effectively women and mensclothing, how difficult is it for them to let go of this? What is actually themindset shift they need to just allow this to happen?

    Joanna: Its massive, Mel. It really is. But it can be done in an instant.

    Thats the weird thing. You need to just know that its possible for the manto be there, for that man to be there. And I think for me, I mean I got to apoint in my life where I knew that if I didnt let go of all this stuff, I was nevergoing to meet the man of my dreams and I was never going to have thefamily that I wanted.

    And there was something inside me that all my life has said, Youre goingto be a mother. Youre going to at some point be a mother in your life. Andit was almost the clock got so loud that I couldnt hear anything else. And itwas you absolutely have to get this sorted now because if you dont getthis sorted now, its going to be too late for you.

    And it was the pain thing of not being what I knew I was supposed to be onthis planet, there was something inside me that went, You are supposed tobe a mother. You are born so that you can continue the human race.Thats part of being here. And it was that driver for me that meant I literallycame home from that relationship weekend in Austria. I cut all ties to themen in my life that were not serving me. And the universe, Im sure you willknow, the universe loves a vacuum. And so, I created a massive vacuum in

    my life for the right man.

    I then did all the incantations and visualizations and all that around him andI did that until he walked through the door. I mean it was that simple but itssuch a hard mindset because the society is saying, as a woman, youshould be able to do everything. Most women at some point in their lifehave been hurt by men. And so, their own defenses come up. Their own,

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    OK, I want to take care of myself because I know that Im control and thatmeans Im OK.

    Melanie: In fact, I was going to say

    Joanna: Because for women, our place needs the security. Sorry.

    Melanie: No, its OK. Youve just said what I was going to say because Iwas going to say that in the mind of some women, its a very high price topay to allow a man to be a man.

    Joanna: Yes.

    Melanie: Yeah.

    Joanna:And thats why because in order to allow a man to be a man, wehave to trust them with our highest need which is that of security. You givea woman any level of insecure I mean if you think about these twoscenarios, a man finds you up and he says, Oh, should we go outtonight? And hes all dithery hes kind of dithery and going, Oh, wecould go here. We could go there. What about this? What do you think?

    And da, da, da.

    And you dont youre not attracted to that energy. But a man who finds upand says to you, Can you put your best frock on. Be ready at half past 7.Im picking you up. Were going out. You dont go, Oh, dont you boss mearound. Oh, bloody hell no. God, I cant stand people who do that.

    You actually go, Yeah, Brilliant. I love it. Thank you. I know what to do. Iknow when to be ready. I know the important information here. Best frock.Be ready at half past 7. I will be. And you are excited about it. And it givesyou butterflies and it makes you like a little child again. And remember,being a child is not a bad thing. Its a wonderful thing. We should all be

    more child-like. Enjoy life. Its here to live. Its here to have fun with.

    Beryl: So femininity can be light. It can be fun. It can be yeah, I can seeyour reaction there.

    Joanna: Well, it is.

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    Beryl: Yeah.

    Joanna: I mean it is.

    Beryl: It can be safe. I guess thats what Im trying to say really. It can be asafe place.

    Joanna: And for all those women out there who are going, There are nomen in my life I can trust. I dont believe you because you will have malefriends. You will have males in your family. There will be somebody thatactually you trust who is a man. But because you dont think of them in asexual way, you dont lump him in that category of relationship and blah,blah, blah. But once you get used to trusting a man, then the men who areworthy of trust will come.

    Melanie: So, in the working scenario and of course, how you do one thingis how you do everything, I expect in the working scenario, you wontnecessarily get a woman saying to you, I dont trust men. They will bebent on trying to achieve success by the old methods theyve beenbrainwashed into. Now, how do you make the breakthrough there?

    Joanna: I think for most women, certainly the ones that I work with, thereason they come to me is because they realized they cant do it allthemselves. And that is then when they need to trust on somebody elsewith it. When you see, especially with women in business, women inbusiness who are busy doing everything in their business, theyre notworking on their business.

    And thats because theyre terrified that if they ask somebody else to dothat tiny little bit, they wont do it as well as, I can do it myself. So Im notgoing to give it away. Im going to do it which means Im going to do theaccounting and Im going to do the marketing and Im going to do the adminand Im going to pick up the phone and Im going to do all my coaching

    and, and, and, and.

    We give ourselves this massive to-do list and then we beat ourselves up atthe end of the day because we didnt get any done. And those womenfinally go, I cant carry on like this. And there are women who come to meand go, Apparently, you say can do it another way. And I go, Yeah, youcan. Its much easier and it is a lovely way to do it but involves the T word

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    and the T word for most women is the one that scares them the most.Trust. But we trust the universe every day. We trust the universe to still besupporting our life. Thats a big trust but we dont even think about it.

    We trust the water company to supply us with water. We trust there istrust going on at all times of your life. But when youre not looking for it andyou dont recognize it, you can easily say, I just dont trust.

    Melanie: So I suppose borrowing some NLP terms, where you need to begoing with these women is keeping them focus on what it is they reallywant to create because that is indeed what theyll start drawing to them.

    Joanna: Yes.

    Melanie: Rather than be focused on because if youre coming from apoint of view of not trusting, by implication, youre dragging with you somenegative expectations and of course, what you pay attention to is whatyoure going to draw into your environment.

    Joanna: Exactly that. I mean as we know with NLP that it is all aboutwhere youre putting your expectations, what youre expecting to happen ispretty much always what will going to happen. I have always been anabsolutely fantastic manifestor but for a good well, a good portion of mylife, I only manifested absolute rubbish because thats where all my focuswent.

    I was just green [0:25:18] [Phonetic] at it. I could and part of that, Imanifested the end of our relationship because for three days, well, thingswerent going well. All I could I think of was hes going to leave me. Thatwas it. Three whole days, three whole days of energy going to hes going toleave me. And at the end third day

    Melanie: Not realizing you were creating it.

    Joanna: he said, Im going to leave. I went, I knew that was going tohappen. I was right. Its almost like, Yeah, clever me, clever me. And Ivedone it with exams. Ive done it with relationships. Ive done it withbusinesses. I did a business that I basically then went, Well, its not it willnever actually work. Im going to try at this business but its never actually

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    going to work. And Im going to do this but that will never work. And oddlyenough, two years later, I had no business.

    But then NLP taught me that this was a good thing because it meant thatactually I have great powers of manifestation. And since then, Ive beenable to manifest some incredible things in my life and very quicklysometimes as well. Brendan was manifested in three months. We jokeabout the fact that if ever I kind of have that, Oh God! You drive me mad.He goes, Yeah, but you manifested me this way. Thanks.

    Melanie: So, the women that you actually worked with and coached, whatkind of shifts have they been reporting to you in terms of just how theyveturned around generally? Because if youve coached them in terms of theirwork and being more feminine on the stage, theyre going to be noticing

    even more than that. So Im wondering in terms of work, what kind ofresults theyre telling you which far exceed what you both were working on?

    Joanna: Yeah. I think the one thing that is just is always I dont dorelationship stuff because that isnt where I even though its still feminineenergy things, my passion is for women on stage and helping women todiscover their feminine stage. And all of them come back and go, Myhusband is loving you. My husband thinks you are the best thing since[0:27:54] [Indiscernible]because youre exactly right. Its important thatwhat they do is obviously they live it. They dont just do this on stage. Butthey actually live this way of being.

    And so suddenly, their man is stepping up and their man is becoming moremasculine. And when you have more masculine man around you, it makesit easy to be even more in your feminine. So, its kind of its a beautifulcycle that helps women be even more in their feminine because men arestepping up around them. They end up being more masculine around them.

    So suddenly, the men are feeling empowered again and they are feeling

    like they have a job to do. If you talk to men these days they say, Oh, Idont know how to please my woman because shes so busy doing it allherself. I cant do anything without her sucking at me going, What the helldo you think you do? You think I cant do it by myself? Of course, I can doit. Its like I want to take care of this woman. I want to love her and I wantto show her how much she means to me but shes not allowing me to dothat.

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    And so suddenly, these women are letting go, trusting, and theyre doingsome surrender and thats very good for the bedroom. And all those things

    thats true. And so suddenly, their relationship is blossoming but its aside effect.

    Melanie: Yeah. I tell you what is alarming about as you described thisand youre so right. Were starting to take it for granted that we have to belike men and be seen to be independent and Im not knockingindependence but it is in a distorted way. But the alarming this is that if wecontinue like this and dont own our femininity and mothers, and we havemale children, well be rearing emasculated men of the future by being thisway.

    Joanna: Yes, its very interesting because we have generally two rolemodels as were growing up obviously and it should be a man and awoman in terms of the energy. And that doesnt mean that theres anythingwrong with same sex relationships because my sister is gay and she andher partner or her wife now, are in such good compatibility that its like theyeach take a turn at being in the masculine energy. Because masculine is inus. Its not supposed to be never used.

    Im not saying, you sit around like some pampered princess doingabsolutely nothing and just, Oh, look at me. Im so lovely la, la, la, la. Thatisnt being feminine either. There is a strength to us and there are timesthat we absolutely need to step into our masculine in order to get thingsdone because women, were about the journey and were about getting tothe destination. If we didnt ever used masculine, wed never actually getthere. Wed just be too much enjoying whats going on around us. We dontactually get anything focused and done.

    So, there are absolutely times we need to use our masculine energy. Andmy sister and her partner wonderfully do this kind of when they need to,

    one of them steps into the masculine and gets it done and then it meansthat there is harmony. There is the attraction. There are all those things.Otherwise, they wouldnt [0:31:23] [Inaudible].

    So anyway, back to when youre growing up, theres a masculine andfeminine there should be masculine and feminine energy role model.Well, if youre mom is busy being masculine, guess what happens to your

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    dad? When hes there, he has to be feminine. And as a man, exactly asyoure saying, as a boy, you look up to your father as a way of leading youto be a man in the future and all that happens is they become a completebloody wimps.

    And through no fault of anybodys because we do this by modeling. Its allabout modeling. And thats actually what kind of I believe whats happenedduring the times when we decide, women went to work. And of course,thats a great thing. And of course, if thats peoples choices, its excellent.But we only have men in the roles to model. We didnt have femininewomen in the roles to model so we modeled what was there.

    So in our jobs, we became masculine because thats the only role modelaround us. And then when we got used to it, the thing about being in

    masculine when youre in it, is it makes you feel very secure because its amasculine energy. So you go, Oh, I like this energy. This makes me feelsecure. And then you take it home and you forget to leave it at the doorand go, Actually, thats my work energy. I want to be a feminine wife, afeminine mother.

    You walk in the door going, Look at me, Im all driven and focused and Imbeing a man. You say a wrong word to me and Ill snap your head off. Andall those kinds of things. And the guy goes, What the hell? Where do I fitin?

    And in order to not be at look ahead and be constantly, constantly battlingbecause I youre both masculine then thats what happens. Its competition.Its like two stags rutting the whole time. Thats not a nice relationship to bein. So somebody has to come down. Somebody has to move towardsfeminine. And if the woman is a really strong woman, it will not going to beher so the guy does it.

    So I mean, a case in point, a very, very gorgeous friend of mine said to me

    when he met Brandon, he kind of took me aside and said, This is almostthe first man in your life Ive ever met that I havent thought might be gay.Because all the others have no other choice. In order to be in a relationshipwith me, you have to be the feminine one because I certainly wasnt giventhat.

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    So it is about that. Its about allowing men to reclaim, allowing them to stepup and not feel like theyre going to be snapped out because theyve givenup their seat on the train for a woman. Women these days, Oh no sir, Imfine. And stand up. What the hell? Im going to sit down. Thank you verymuch. Offer your seat, Im more than happy. Its fine. But its likesomehow, I dont want to be seen to be weak. Its this vulnerability thing.

    Women one of our gorgeous energies in feminine is vulnerability.Vulnerability for most people, they absolutely see as you being weak. Butthat isnt what vulnerable means. It means being allowing, youre allowingother people in. Youre allowing other people to see the real you. Thatsvulnerability. Thats not weakness. Thats incredibly strong.

    We know that when people tell the story, Oh my God! Andy Murray, bless

    him. Lovely guy clearly. When he was through to the finals, the interviewwith him, he was stony-faced. He was, oh yes, brilliant for everybody butthere was no emotion. There was nothing. He wasnt showing anything.Then after he lost the finals at Wimbledon and he cried. Oh my God! Whatdid we do? Do we all go, Oh, what a pathetic man! How completely weakand useless is he? No, all of us connected heart to heart with him. Hesshowing his truth. Hes showing how vulnerable he was at that moment.

    And it was beautiful. And thats what true vulnerability is.

    No one is going to turn around and go, Oh my God! How pathetic areyou? Theyre actually going, Thats beautiful. Youre sharing somethingthats innermost and truthful. And thats actually what we want.

    Beryl: So, this is amazing, Jo. What Im hearing is and its very emotionalto listen to this, is lets come to your work for a moment. I mean youvetouched on it. It just feels like youre spearheading this because I haventhad a lot of people doing this kind of work. Youre really spearheading this.

    And as you said at the beginning of the interview, it seemed like its theright time. Energetically, its the right time.

    Joanna: Definitely.

    Beryl: So, can you just be a bit more specific about your work? Youtouched on working with women on the stage. Would you just like toexpound on that?

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    Joanna: Yeah. What I do is there are more and more women now who arefollowing their passion and thats again, a very feminine thing to do is thatinstead of going to a normal, normal work, what we actually do is we followour passion. So we might create a business of well, it cant be anything. Itmight be a business about beauty or nails or it might be about hair or itmight be about energy. It might be about HR. I mean literally, anything,anything, anything, anything and everything that were passionate about.We will put so much energy in.

    And as you know, one of the best ways to reach a large audience is to beon the stage. Its to actually have an event or be on somebody else, atsomebody elses event where youre on stage and then able to show yourmessage with lots and lots of people. Now, I found over the years that mostof the women who were on the stage at the moment and certainly when I

    started this which for me, I started noticing this probably five years ago, fiveor so years ago, was that most of the women on stage, as soon as they areon the stage, even if there are people on stage, would stand on stage andthen take this masculine stance and go all authority and go all driven andkind of starey and scary on stage.

    Melanie: Why did they do that?

    Beryl: Weve seen some of those.

    Joanna: Exactly. And I went, Oh, why cant we be feminine on the stage?But one of the problems is that most of the teachers out there are teachingthe speaker stance or teaching the way of getting into your energy and bein your passion. But its all very masculine-driven way of speaking. Andthere arent many women who are being coached around how to stay onyour feminine on stage because youre not supposed to show weakness onstage, youre not supposed to I was going to say, you kind of do things ontap. There are moments that you are allowed to be emotional. Does thatmake sense?

    I dont mean its scripted as in you literally, right here you cry kind of thing.But at this point in the whole thing, youre allowed to be emotional.

    Beryl: OK.

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    Joanna: But the rest of the time, youve got to be authority and youve gotto be knowing your stuff and all that kind of stuff. And I just teach womenhow to let all that go and how to be a lot of more trusting and how to beopen and vulnerable on stage pretty much the whole time so that you canconnect with your audience because if you do a heart to heart connectionand you yourself are connected to your souls which is your passion, theflow through is so powerful that the people you are connecting with reallyget your message.

    Now, if thats your aim which of course it is that we want people to get ourmessage then its about standing on stage and allowing this flow tohappen. And so, thats what I do. I take women who are going to an eventand I coach them around how to get connected to their energy if theyve got

    I mean some of them are feminine already but some of them arent but

    how to also stay there.

    One of the things especially if its their event because one of the thingsabout doing your own event is that theres lots of logistics. Logistics arevery masculine, the making sure this is the right place at the right time andthe AV is right and the hotel knows what to do, and people know where togo, and where the toilets are, and where to put their coats and its all very,very its just logistics. And logistics is not feminine. Its not at all feminine.

    Its easy to do and it can be done and it can be done in a masculine way tobe efficient and get it done and out of the way but if youre a woman onstage and youre worrying about any of that stuff, youre not staying in yourflow, youre not staying in your feminine. So I help women to let go of allthat stuff, to outsource, to do a lot of asking for help. Its a very importantthing to do. And to let go of the idea that, I have to be superwoman, and

    just start being a superwoman and allowing yourself to be truly feminineand truly in touch with your souls.

    And so, thats for stages. I do a kind of exercise through swinging the

    pendulum. So we do a bit of swinging the pendulum all the way throughmasculine and swinging all the way through 100% feminine so that you getto really feel what that energy is like so you can recognize it. So you knowfirstly where you settle because no one is a 100% feminine and no one is a100% masculine but we should be as women settling somewhere on thefeminine scale and men should be somewhere on the masculine scale. Itskind of that way.

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    And so, when you just find out where you settle and what that feels like andhow that feels energetically to you, you know you can stay there. You canrecognize it and of course, most importantly, recognize when you moveaway from it. So when you go into fear, youre going to masculine becausefearful women need that sense of security and thats where you go, you goand dip into your masculine to get it. So its about being fearful and thentrusting that someone else will do it allows you to stay in your feminine.

    Beryl: And the women that you work with, what is the process? Do youstart a little bit before? I imagine you start a little bit before the event. Howdoes it quite work, Jo?

    Joanna: It depends on the woman Im working with. There is a set kind of

    way of doing it. I usually work with them for six months though. So youreright, always start before the event because obviously, the event is theculmination of that. But often its like four month before, two months after orsometimes its three months before, three months after. So that there issome follow through as well because its about the total package not justthe event. So although the event is very important part of it, its not thatsnot the be all and end all. Its not once your event happened then youredone kind of thing.

    So we do, do some and some. And I start with working with them on theirvision for the event. We do lots of meditations, lots of visualization. We dolots of the swing of the pendulum exercise and that can be anything from

    just a day in it or it can be a whole week. I can get you to just swing yourpendulum for a whole week which is really quite fun and very interesting forthose around you as they watch you do it. So all those kind of things arefun.

    And also, the actual planning so we get down to the nitty-gritty of whereyour event is at and how you want it to look in terms of the AV and how you

    want your people to be taken care of whilst youre there and all those kindsof things. So we do, do an event package if you like in terms of creatingyour amazing event.

    I dont do the marketing because thats not my side of things so you eitherdo the marketing yourself or you get somebody else who is a marketing

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    expert to do your marketing for you to get the people there. But Ill help youcreate the energy of the event.

    So when they walk in through the door, the energy that theyre feeling evenbefore youre on stage is already your message. And I think thats a bigdifference with these days you go into conference, they do exactly thesame except maybe there might be a banner thats different. But other thanthat, they all feel the same and then you walk in and then its only whensomebody is on stage that you start connecting with that energy. But I thinkas soon as you walk through the door, thats where the energy shouldbegin.

    Melanie: You would feel it.

    Beryl: Incredible. It feels like and I say it feels because it does really feellike this in me that when I listen to you, that working with you in that waywould create a really lovely synergy that male-female balance where yourmentee, your client, can be thought to be fully in their feminine becausetheyre allowing you and your business to support them, to do the male bit.

    Joanna: Exactly. Thats exactly it. So its quite interesting because of thatfact that Im doing the male bit but Im still being feminine while Im doing it.But Im allowing its exactly that. Its about allowing and its about trusting.My stage, whats the word? I would say anonym but thats not the rightword. Its an S-T-A-G-E thing. What does that mean? Im showing myignorance. Never mind.

    Beryl: We dont know either so thats OK.

    Joanna: S for surrender, T is for trust, A is for allowing, G is for grace, andE is for energy. And thats your feminine stage and if you can just get intoall of those things whilst youre on stage then actually, it all flowsbeautifully.

    Beryl:And people must feel fantastic on the stage.

    Joanna: Mnemonic [0:46:37] [Phonetic].

    Beryl: Mnemonic, thats it, yeah. You must feel fantastic and reallyauthentic. And actually, I would imagine thats going to the business side

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    because thats what theyre there to do. I imagine that the universe wouldas come as the sales go somewhat better and some rapport-building Iimagine would be going on with the audience.

    Joanna: Exactly. I mean because of the fact that when they first walk inthrough the door, the energy is already there. So theyre alreadyconnecting with the energy of your message. And then once youre onstage, your message is coming even stronger and because youreconnecting to your souls and youre connecting heart to heart with them, itliterally is a flow of consciousness, a flow of energy which means that theytotally get your message.

    Now, if that means that it touches them, if its the right message for them,they are going to make a decision to buy. They are going to make a

    decision to step up and do more with you. Thats what its about. Soultimately, youre going to get more sales when youre being like this onstage. And even if the sale doesnt happen in the room because exactly likeyou said, the rapport and the connection is so much stronger than it wouldnormally be, those people want to continue having a relationship with you.

    So it might be that they carry on dipping in and out of your website or itmight be that they check your blogs or whatever it might be, but they stay inconnection with you. And over time, we find that sales go up as well. Sothats good.

    Beryl: You are in an incredible niche there, Jo. And Im fascinated to seewhere this might go with you. Well stay in touch of course. And itsfascinating. If youve got any inkling of where this might go, any inking at allor are you just open to where ?

    Joanna: Yeah, exactly. I guess Im in the question as we say. So justhappy for it to go wherever it needs to go. And Im doing a lot of trustingthat the universe is providing me with the clients that I need to work with,

    clients are popping out that are quite, well, I think are quite big names inthe industry or personal development and theyre coming to me and saying,Ive heard that you do this and Id like to work with you.

    So over the next couple of years, I guess Im going to be working withbigger and bigger names which is very exciting for me because I get to

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    really discover the truth about femininity because I know that Ive onlyscratched the surface or at least it feels like that.

    I know so much but I also know theres such a depth to it that Im excitedbecause I think every single feminine is different. I dont think anyone were all unique in our own femininity thats why I do the pendulum swingbecause it allows women to find their where their feminine lies rather thansaying, In order to be feminine, this is what you have to do, becausethats not the truth either.

    Its about discovering your femininity. Its where is it for you? How does itwork for you? And the ease that flows when you are in your feminine truthis just so amazing. You know instantly when you hit it. You just knowbecause suddenly instead of feeling like everything is hard work and youre

    striving and youre working all the time to get things done, suddenly, itsflowing to you rather than you going out to find it.

    Beryl: I think Jo, with you, its a case of watch this space. Im kind of beingfascinated at seeing where you go with this. And I do hope that youll comeback and share more with us as all of this evolves, Jo. I really do because Iknow people are going to be fascinated.

    Joanna: I would love to, yeah. Im more than happy to.

    Beryl: Go on, Mel.

    Melanie: I just wanted to add, I suppose a final question in there becauseone thing I can certainly say about this conversation is it would have been awakeup call for quite a number of listeners about how theyve beenneglecting their feminine side. And bearing in mind the thrust of the show,we are about being wired for success and remembering that that wiring isthere. It just needs to be recognized. What would be one first or small stepthat one could start taking to rebalance these energies?

    Joanna: I think certainly the first one that I did and certainly its the one thatI kind of sometimes remember that Ive forgotten, if that makes sense andtherefore go back to, is the idea of either meditation or incantation. Itdepends on the type of person. Some people like to meditate. They like tobe still and allow things to kind of happen. And other people like to incant

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    which is you create the vision that you want and then you just say it overand over again.

    For me, Im very much an incant person and I love walking the dog in themorning and then just saying my incantation over and over again, a coupleof hundred times. And just allowing it to happen because the biggest thingaround all of this visualization and incantation and knowing what you want,you have to be OK with not getting it. You have to be able to let go of theidea that thats the only possible outcome because thats the thing that theuniverse doesnt like. It doesnt like people who are holding on to theirvisions so tightly that theres no deviation possible.

    Melanie: No wiggle room.

    Joanna: Yeah, theres no wiggle room, exactly that. So its about I thinkfor most of the people who are going to be watching this, men and womenalike, are probably very much they know what they want in their lifealready. Theyve got to that stage where theyve got their vision. Theyvegot their board on the wall or whatever it might be, their way of creatingtheir reality. And for some people, its then they just keep holding it. Its likethis is how its going to be if its not exactly like this. So its that letting it gothat things flow.

    Beryl:I think we do ourselves a disservice, dont we if we think it can only

    come packaged in one way.

    Joanna: Exactly.

    Beryl: Its a very limiting tunnel vision kind of thing. And when we actuallylet go of that and for myself, when I thought there was only one way I couldcreate a business, I close myself down to lots of other things. When I wasreally forced to wrench my head out of the sand, goodness me, theres awhole another world out there.

    Joanna: Yes, its exactly that. It is about just seeing, yeah. Sorry, Mel.

    Melanie: Yeah. No, no, no, no, its irrelevant. I was only going to commenton what Beryl was saying because having forced to head out of the sand,the thing we need to be aware of is that it can suddenly feel scary to haveall this choice which is actually what you need.

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    Beryl: Yeah. And actually, going back to your point, Jo, about

    Melanie: So, was there something

    Beryl: I was just going to say to Jo, when you were talking earlier abouthow women can start this process, the small step, what occurred to mewas and whenever you create some kind of change of which you arefrightened, you can go through a period, cant you that I would describe asvery wobbly. But Ive learned that thats not the time to run back to where Iwas. Do you want to talk about a little bit about that? Its just like keepgoing and you get through it.

    Joanna: Yes. I mean I think for me, I call it my testing

    Beryl: What do you call it? Say it again? Your

    Joanna: My testing time. Its when the universe comes and prods in thecenter of your chest and goes, Yeah, but do you really want that? Do youreally want that? And it gives you sometimes it can be just it gives youan overwhelm of other possibilities to choose from. Sometimes it can bethat it makes it so hard to move forward that you think it cant possibly bethe right way.

    But there is something about standing in your truth and going, But I knowin my heart, this is what I need to be doing. I know in my heart, this is theright thing to be doing. And then the universe actually goes, All right then,Ill give you a hand rather than stand in your way. And suddenly, its likeyou have the wind at your back. And then you just get blown away. Its justthat little bit of time where the universe is just going, But how serious areyou? Do you really, really want to do this? And its prodding you in themiddle of your chest and, Really? Are you sure? Are you sure? OK then.

    And then it gives you that lovely lift.

    And yeah, you just have to stand strong and thats a great time of trustbecause you just have to trust yourself which we havent touched upon thatlovely little demon. We say that women are all these independent, Imgoing to be do everything. But its almost like we also dont trustourselves to do it either. So yeah, it would be very interesting.

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    Beryl: I feel already this surge of feminine energy thats going to beunstoppable tsunami of feminine energies emanating from what youredoing, Jo. Youre going to create this consciousness across the world. Theworld needs to be ready I think for something very exciting.

    Joanna: I mean I think this is definitely the age for it. You touched upon itearlier, the idea that everything is shifting and we know now that the waythat the masculine way of doing business which has been to exchangemoney for nothing for a very long time. Its gone. Thats why the financialinstitutions have collapsed the way they have.

    So its very much now about the new age that Dalai Lama said himself thatthe world will be healed by the Western women. And this is what he meansthat the Western women will reconnect with their feminine and because of

    that, allow men to step up and be more masculine again. And because ofthat, we will rebalance the energies of the world. Thats what I truly thinkhes saying.

    Everyone kind of talks about it in business ways but I think he means healthe world. He means that the problems with whatever it might be, the globalwarming and all those things. And Im not saying for a second that it meanswe shouldnt care for our planet. But I think when were in our trueenergies, its part of what we do. Were going to exploit. Were not going totrust the planet anymore because of the fact that it isnt a truth for our trueenergy.

    So its like almost its as simple as lets all refined what our truthful energyis and suddenly, were going to heal the world. And I just think thatsbeautiful.

    Beryl: I heard something yesterday that in America, more people work forcooperatives now than they do for corporations. And that to me feels likecooperatives were a feminine energy as opposed to the masculine

    corporations. So its happening.

    Joanna: Thats right, it is.

    Beryl: Im mindful of your time, Jo. Weve had some fantasticextraordinary, inspiring information and just so all inspiring. So, we would

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    like to give you a very big thank you. And would like to share with peoplehow they can find you? How they can connect with you, Jo?

    Joanna: Yes. I am on and you asked me to prepare this and of course, Ihave. Im on Facebook and Im on Twitter. Both of them are McCormickand I think in both cases, Im a JJMcCormick but I might be aJoannaMcCormick so have a little look around. Ive got pictures. Youll findme. Im a true believer that youll find me if youre meant to. But yes,connect with me on Twitter and Facebook. Im much more exciting onFacebook because I do a lot more there. But now and again, I do tweet butits the old thing rather than lots. So Facebook is for me. Youre better offthere.

    Beryl: OK. And wed like to encourage people to come back and comment

    on this episode. And there will be a little box underneath. And would you bekind enough to come back and take a look at those comments every nowand then, Jo, and just share your thoughts?

    Joanna:Absolutely.

    Beryl: Fantastic.

    Joanna:Absolutely. More than happy.

    Beryl: Well, this has been wonderful. And Mel, is there anything that youdlike to

    Melanie: Well, Id just like to reinforce Beryls comments that weveabsolutely enjoyed this. We know our viewers will too. I mean I felt like wewere making some kind of a heart connection so youre living what youretalking about. And of course, as Beryl said, it would be great for you to fromtime to time answer the viewers as were going to encourage them all tomake comments on the episodes.

    If youre watching this on any kind of social media, then please feel free to

    share it with all of your friends. Were Wired for Success TV at Facebook

    and on Twitter.

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    Lastly, wherever youre listening to this episode from, if you havent done

    so already, please just shoot over to our main site

    http://www.wiredforsuccess.tv and join our newsletter for updates andcontent by adding your name and email.

    If you head over there, there will be a transcript of this episode too. We

    reply to all comments and suggestions and we would love to hear from you.

    So thank you for tuning in. Remember to tune in for the next episode of

    Wired for Success where we help you to master the seven areas of life.

    So from me Beryl and my co-host Melanie and from our interviewee Jo we

    bid you farewell and next time. So, if you would like to say good-bye.

    Copyright: Wired For Success TV 2013

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