the family & the home lesson 9: discipline in the home
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The AAP on Spanking Where We Stand The American Academy of Pediatrics strongly opposes striking a child for any reason. Spanking is never recommended; infants may be physically harmed by a parent who strikes the child. If a spanking is spontaneous, parents should later explain calmly why they did it, the specific behavior that provoked it, and how angry they felt. They also might apologize to their child for their loss of control. This usually helps the youngster to understand and accept the spanking, and it models for the child how to remediate a wrong. Whenever a parent strikes a child, it may undermine the relationship of trust that the child needs to thrive. However, infants often frustrate their parents. Here are a few alternatives: First, put your baby in the crib or another safe place while you get control of yourself. Call a friend, relative, or partner to get some support or advice. If these don't help, reach out to your child's pediatrician for advice. discipline/Pages/Where-We-Stand-Spanking.aspxTRANSCRIPT
The Family & the HomeThe Family & the HomeLesson 9: Discipline in the Home
A Lack of Discipline in the Home The many problems we see today in society
and in the church can often be traced back to a lack of discipline in the home
Many parents will not discipline due to…Laziness, selfishness, absenteeism
They were raised with no discipline themselves
Unbelief in God’s word
The AAP on SpankingWhere We StandThe American Academy of Pediatrics strongly opposes striking a child for any reason. Spanking is never recommended; infants may be physically harmed by a parent who strikes the child. If a spanking is spontaneous, parents should later explain calmly why they did it, the specific behavior that provoked it, and how angry they felt. They also might apologize to their child for their loss of control. This usually helps the youngster to understand and accept the spanking, and it models for the child how to remediate a wrong.Whenever a parent strikes a child, it may undermine the relationship of trust that the child needs to thrive. However, infants often frustrate their parents.Here are a few alternatives:First, put your baby in the crib or another safe place while you get control of yourself.Call a friend, relative, or partner to get some support or advice.If these don't help, reach out to your child's pediatrician for advice.http://www.healthychildren.org/English/family-life/family-dynamics/communication-discipline/Pages/Where-We-Stand-Spanking.aspx
The AAP on SpankingPhysical PunishmentParents often ask, "Should I spank my child?" Many parents occasionally lose their patience or, in anger or fear, may spank their youngster. For instance, if a child runs out into the street, a parent may sweep the child up and, in a mo ment of anxiety for the child's well-being, spank her to emphasize the parent's sense of urgency or worry. Actually, it is the parent's expression of disapproval that is an effective deterrent in this situation, not the spanking.Spanking may relieve a parent's frustration for the moment and extinguish the undesirable behavior for a brief time. But it is the least effective way to discipline. It is harmful emotionally to both parent and child. Not only can it result in physical harm, but it teaches children that violence is an acceptable way to discipline or express anger. While stopping the behavior temporarily, it does not teach alternative behavior. It also interferes with the development of trust, a sense of security, and effective communication. (Spanking often becomes the method of communication.) It also may cause emotional pain and resentment.http://www.healthychildren.org/English/family-life/family-dynamics/communication-discipline/Pages/What-About-Punishment.aspx
A Lack of Discipline in the Home Spoiled, ill-mannered, and unruly
adults often raise spoiled, ill-mannered and unruly children
When we truly “love” our children, we will “discipline” them; yes, “love” and “discipline” go together (Prov. 3:11-12 [quoted in Heb. 12:5-6]; 13:24; Rev. 3:19)
A Lack of Discipline in the Home“What have they seen in your house?”
Ungodly, hypocritical, permissive parents
Undisciplined, unruly, disobedient children
Little to no rules or boundaries
Discipline = TrainingThe four basic elements of discipline
1. Parental example (Ezek. 16:44)
2. Parental instruction, teaching (Gen. 18:19)
3. Parental correction (Prov. 3:11-12; Heb. 12:5ff)
4. Child obedience and honor (Eph. 6:1-4)
Four Areas of Discipline (Luke 2:52)
Wisdom: mental development – training in secular education, etc.
Stature: physical development – training in a healthy lifestyle, etc.
Favor with man: social development – training in the proper treatment of others, etc.
Favor with God: spiritual development – training to know God’s word, etc.
Bible Homes with Discipline Abraham (Deut. 18:19) Joseph and Mary (Lk. 2:51-52)
Bible Homes Without Discipline Eli (1 Sam. 2:22-26; 3:13; see Deut.
21:18) David (1 Kings 1:6)
A Home Without Discipline Respect for authority and obedience
is established early on with instructive and corrective discipline: home (Eph. 6:1), civil (Rom. 13:1), and church (Heb. 13:17)
Disobedience to parents is a sin (Ex. 21:15; Lev. 20:9; Deut. 21:18-21; Rom. 1:30; 2 Tim. 3:2)!
Review Questions1. Why is there a lack of discipline in so
many homes today?
2. What are the four basic elements of good discipline?
3. What are the four areas of good discipline?
4. What are some examples of Bible homes that were disciplined and undisciplined?