The Five Basic Brush Strokes.Absolute.Appositive.Participle.AdjectivesAction Verb

Core sentence:

The car went into the parking lot.

Adding an Absolute Brush Stroke

Engine smoking, gears

grinding, the car went into

the parking lot.

An absolute consists of a noun and an – ing word. You can add

one or two absolutes to the beginning or end of the

sentence.• Engine smoking, gears grinding,

the car went into the parking lot.• The car went into the parking lot,

wheels squeaking, bumper dragging.

•If you add three, or if you drop these absolutes into the middle of a sentence, they lose some of their power to be effective.

Absolutes from Jack London

• Hair styling mouth foaming• Lips writhing and snarling

Ears Jaws clipping togetherlaid chest panting futilelyback body flashing forwardMuscles writhing and knotting like live

things under his silky fur

The mountain climber edged along the cliff.

• Hands shaking, feet trembling, the mountain climber edged along the cliff.

• The mountain climber edged along the cliff, hands shaking, feet trembling.

• Now it is your turn. Take the following sentences and add absolute phrases either at the beginning or at the end of the sentence.

• The mummy was moving.• The diver peered once more at the

specimen.• I glanced at the clock.• The kitten yawned tiredly.• The quarterback threw the pass.• The cowboy spurred his horse.

Appositives• Appositives are defined as a noun

that adds a second image to a preceding noun.

• Like the absolute, the appositive expands details in the reader’s imagination.

Core Sentence for Appositive Example

• The raccoon enjoys eating turtle eggs.

Adding the Appositive• Enhance the first image of the raccoon

by introducing a new perspective.• Add a second image to the noun

raccoon in the sentence-

• The raccoon, a scavenger, enjoys eating turtle eggs.

Appositive Construction• Scavenger follows the noun

raccoon in the core sentence.• The appositive is set off with

commas and enriches the image.

Appositive Phrases• To add more vivid details, writers

often expand the appositive to appositive phrases.

• The appositive phrases add more details to enhance the visual image.

Appositive Phrases• Core sentence - The raccoon

enjoys eating turtle eggs.• Core sentence + appositive

phrase: The raccoon, a midnight scavenger who roams lake shorelines in search of food, enjoys eating turtle eggs.

Student Examples• The volcano, a ravenous God of fire,

spewed forth lava and ash across the mountain.

• The old Navajo woman, a weak and withered lady, stared blankly.

• The fish, a slimy mass of flesh, felt the alligator’s giant teeth sink into his scales as he struggled to get away.

Participle• A participle brush stroke is similar

to the absolute, but without the noun. It can be defined as –ing word or phrase tagged onto the beginning or end of a sentence.

• Sliding on the loose gravel, the car went into the parking lot.

The diamond-scaled snakes attacked their

prey.• Hissing, slithering, and coiling, the

diamond-scaled snakes attacked their prey.

• The participles evoke action. Now, we can see the snakes coiling and slithering and the hissing sound make us feel we are part of the experience.

You can add participial phrases, a participle along with any modifiers that

complete the image.

• Hissing their forked red tongues and coiling their cold bodies, the diamond-scaled snakes attacked their prey.

Your Turn – Add participles or participial phrases to the following sentences.

• The Olympic long jumper thrust the weight of his whole body forward.

• Melody froze.• The clown smiled and did his

juggling act.• The rhino looked for freedom.

Jack London’s Participles

Shivering YelpingSnarling and growling sinking

his – Pulling teeth into

it– Till his surging and wrestling with it– Tendons bristling– Cracked snapping like a demon

Participles can end in –ed as well

• Rugged and scarred, his hands were franticly digging for the treasure.

• Hanging upside down above the parking lot, suspended from a crane, Gessi the Great twisted and twirled in the wind.

The horse ran across the field.

• Add more description:• The large, white, muscular horse

ran across the field. • Ok, what is the effect?

Let’s enhance the image

• The large horse, white and muscular, ran across the field.

• This sentence spotlights two of the adjectives giving them more power and sophisticated feel.

This technique is called adjectives out-of-order.• Adjectives out of order amplify the

details of an image. • Professional writers avoid a three

in a row string of adjectives by leaving one adjective in its original place and shifts the other two after the noun.

The large, red-eyed, angry bull moose charged the intruder.

• The large bull moose, red-eyed and angry, charged the intruder.

• The Pavilion was a simple city, long and rectangular.

• I could smell Mama, crisp and starched, plumping my pillow.

Jack London’s Adjectives Out-of-Order• Ruthless swarthy

» Sour and introspective

» Mushy bloody

» Limp and draggled parched and swollen

» Calm and impartial ragged and unkempt

Now it is your turn. Add adjectives out-of-order to the following

sentences.

• His soiled, wrinkled, calloused hands portrayed a life of hard labor.

• The woman smiled upon her grandson with pride.

• The boxer felt no compassion for his contender.

• The cheetah stared at the gazelle, which would soon become his dinner.

Action Verbs

• Writers can energize images with action verbs.

• Verbs of passive voice communicate no action.

The image is like a still photograph with the subject of the action frozen

with the prepositions by or with.

• The runaway horse was ridden into town by an old, white-whiskered rancher.

• The grocery store was robbed by two armed men.

Change the passive verb phrase with an action verb.

• The old, white-whiskered rancher rode the runaway horse into town.

• Two armed men robbed the grocery store.

Being verbs slow the action as well.

• Being verb: The gravel road was on the left side of the barn.

• Action verb: The gravel road curled around the left side of the barn.

Action verbs replace still photos with motion pictures. Read the following two paragraphs.

• Rockwell was a beautiful lake. Canada geese could be heard across the water bugling like tuneless trumpets. Near the shore, two children were hidden behind a massive maple tree. Watching quietly, they hoped to see the first gosling begin to hatch. Tiny giggles escaped their whispers of excitement.

Final Draft

• Rockwell Lake echoed with the sounds of Canada geese. Their honking bugled across the water like tuneless trumpets. Two children hid behind a massive maple tree. They silently watched, hoping to see the first gosling hatch. Tiny giggles escaped their whispers of excitement.

How important is the use of action verbs?

• Jon Franklin, two-time Pulitzer Prize winner, says:

• “Nothing is as critical as the use of action verbs. This is absolutely-utterly, completely, with shrieking boldface and CAPITAL LETTERS-central to good writing.”

Jack London’s Action Verbs

• Sprang for his throat sniffed• Wagged his tail taunted him• Bristled his neck-hair and snarled• Whirled over shrieked• Choked him flung throbbed• Crawled to his feet growled

Now it is your turn. Change the passive verb or being verb to action.

• The meal was wonderful.• The little girl is sad.• The game was won by a long shot.• The new car was bought by my

father.• The tree is tall.

The Five Basic Brush StrokesCore Sentence: The car went into the

parking lot.

• 1. Absolute: Engine smoking, gears grinding, the car went into the parking lot.

• 2. Appositive: The car, a 1936 Ford, went into the parking lot.

• 3. Participle: Sliding on the loose gravel, the car went into the parking lot.

• 4. Adjectives Out-of-order: The car, dented and rusty, went into the parking lot.

• 5. Action verb: The car chugged into the parking lot.

Brush strokes are color-coded to match the

palette.• PARTICIPLE• ABSOLUTE• ACTION VERB• ADJECTIVES OUT-OF-ORDER• APPOSITIVE• Engine smoking, gears grinding, the car, a

1936 Ford, dented and rusty, chugged into the parking lot sliding on the loose gravel.

Combining brushstrokes

• Then it crawled in. A spider, a repulsive, hairy creature, no bigger than a tarantula, crawled into the room. It crawled across the floor up onto his nightstand and stopped, as if it were staring at him. He reached for a nearby copy of Sports Illustrated, rolled it up, and swatted the spider with all his might.

• He looked over only to see a hideous mass of eyes and legs. He had killed it. Just then, another one crawled in, following the same path as the first. He killed that one too. Then another one came, and another and another. There were hundreds of them! Hands trembling, sweat dripping from his face, he flung the magazine left and right, trying to kill the spiders, but there were too many. He dropped the magazine.

Helpless now, his eyes darted around the room. He could no longer see the individual spiders. He could just see a thick, black blanket of movement. He started squirming as he felt their fang-like teeth sink into his pale flesh like millions of tiny needles piercing his body.

Now it is your turn! Write a paragraph using the brushstrokes. Following are

sample artist’s image palette

• Movement: scudded frantically

Feet padding softly as a kittenFluttered up from her chairSitting like statuesGushed from her eyesRhythmic and flowing as a dance

Character description• Strong, gentle fingers• Glasses perched on his nose• Gleam of avid curiosity• Eyelids sagged• Hair stringing about her face• Nose a round soft bob

moods• Prickles of apprehension• Flushed with rage• Sullen fury• Merry fire• Savagely• perturbed

Parts of speech• Puny little brains• Delighted smile• Sweet autumnal smell• Tingling faintly• Jangling• grimly

• The teacher felt prickles of apprehension as she awaited the start of another year-long adventure. A heavy, sweet, autumnal smell floated through the opened window as on final survey of the room revealed a state of readiness. The polished luster of heavily waxed floor braced itself for the onslaught of the stampeding throngs of eager students. Reverberating through the halls, the jangling bell jolted the teacher from her moment of meditation.