The Five Communication Principles for a Lifetime

1. Be aware of Your Communication

Much research has been done to try to break down interpersonal communication into

a number of elements in order that it can be more easily understood. Commonly these

elements include:

a. The Communicators - For any communication to occur there must be at least two

people involved. It is easy to think about communication involving a sender and a receiver

of a message. However, the problem with this way of seeing a relationship is that it

presents communication as a one-way process where one person sends the message and

the other receives it.

In fact communications are almost always complex, two-way processes, with people

sending and receiving messages to and from each other. In other words, communication is

an interactive process.

b. The Message - Message not only means the speech used or information conveyed,

but also the non-verbal messages exchanged such as facial expressions, tone of voice,

gestures and body language. Non-verbal behaviour can convey additional information

about the message spoken.

c. Noise - Noise has a special meaning in communication theory. It refers to anything

that distorts the message, so that what is received is different from what is intended by the

speak. The use of complicated jargon, inappropriate body language, inattention,

disinterest, and cultural differences can be considered 'noise' in the context of

interpersonal communication.

d. Context - All communication is influenced by the context in which it takes place.

However, apart from looking at the situational context of where the interaction takes place,

for example in a room, office, or perhaps outdoors, the social context also needs to be

considered, for example the roles, responsibilities and relative status of the participant.

2. Effectively Use and Understand Verbal Messages

a. Make eye contact - Whether you are speaking or being spoken to, looking into the eyes of

the person you are in conversation with can make the experience much more successful.

Eye contact conveys interest, and encourages your partner to be interested in you in return.

b. Be aware of what your body is saying - Body language can say so much more than a

mouthful of words. An open stance with arms easily to your side tells anyone you are

talking to that you are approachable and open to hearing what they have to say.

c. Have courage to say what you think - Take time each day to be aware of your opinions

and feelings. When you are aware of what you believe on a certain issue, you can better

convey those thoughts to others. Individuals who are hesitant to speak because they do not

feel they have worthwhile opinions need not fear: what is important or worthwhile to one

person may not be to another and may be more so to someone else.

d. Practice - Communication skills can be practiced every day in settings that range from the

more social to the more professional. New skills take time to refine, but each time you use

your communication skills you open yourself to opportunities and future friendships.

3. Effectively Use and Understand Non-Verbal Messages

Non-verbal communication is the act of saying what's on your mind without speaking

words. Many times the tone of your voice can reflect non-verbal communication as well. For

instance, if you are saying one thing, but your tone of voice is saying another, then that

reflects how you are truly feeling without speaking a word about it (yelling and crying while

saying your okay). Many times we are not aware that non-verbal communication is a part of

the definition of communication.

a. Proxemics:- Proxemics takes into account body spacing and postures as involuntary

reactions to sensory fluctuations. According to Proxemics, the physical distance between two

people can be correlated to the relationship they share be it personal or social.

b. Chronemics:- According to Chronemics, the timing and frequency of any action as

well as the tempo of communications within an interaction contribute to the process of non-

verbal communication. Time perceptions can be expressed through punctuality, willingness

to wait, speed of speech or even the amount of time people are willing to listen.

c. Kinesics:- Kinesics studies include the study of following elements:-

i. Posture:- Body posture says a lot about a person’s degree of attention or

involvement, the difference in status between communicators, and also the level

of fondness a person has for the other one. Posture can be studied through

various indicators like direction of lean, body orientation, arm position, and

overall body movement.

ii. Gestures:- A thumbs up, or a simple wave of the hand says so much. Gestures

form an integral part of non-verbal communication. Gestures allow us to express

a variety of emotions and thoughts like contempt, hostility, approval, affection

etc.

d. Haptics:- Haptics refers to the study of touching as a tool of nonverbal

communication. The various forms of touching that can be included in non-verbal

communication include handshakes, holding, etc. The meaning conveyed from a touch is

however highly dependent upon several other factors like the context of the situation or even

the relationship between communicators.

e. Oculesics:- Oculesics is the study of the role of eyes in nonverbal communication.

Eye contact can indicate a lot of emotions ranging from interest, attention, and involvement.

A simple gaze is comprised of the actions of looking while talking, while listening, or even

while observing.

4. Listen and Respond Thoughtfully

Listening and responding skills are very important for every individual, no matter

their age or walk of life. They are essential to education, career and work-related situations,

social activities and interpersonal relationships and just as important to everyday life.

a. Listening Skills

It's one thing to hear the sound of someone talking. It's another thing to pay attention

to what they are communicating, absorb the information and respond appropriately. This is

listening vs. merely hearing. Listening skills are the first step to understanding another

person and where they are coming from. In a classroom setting, listening skills allow a

student to grasp the concepts that the teacher is trying to convey, rather than being distracted

and therefore unable to properly respond.

b. Responding Skills

i. Be Descriptive :- When responding to someone, you let them know that you have paid

attention to what they said and understand what they are trying to communicate. Formulate a

clear response and express it in an appropriate way.

ii. Be Timely :- Response should be quick and timely so that communicating parties are in sync

with each other during the entire course of communication.

iii. Be Brief :- Response should be concise and to the point

iv. Be Useful :- Response should be value add to the communication and should not be

redundant or repeated information.

v. Be Active & Confident :- Need to be active and confident throughout the course of

communication. Confidence is important to responding skills because worrying about what

you're going to say or how you'll sound is detrimental to good communication.

c. Responding With Empathy

We all want to be listened to.  It is insulting to be ignored or neglected. We all know

what it means to listen, to really listen. It is more than hearing the words; it is truly

understanding and accepting the other person's message and also his/her situation and

feelings.

Empathizing means listening so intently and identifying so closely that you

experience the other person's situation, thoughts and emotions. It shows you care and that you

understood the other person. Thus, people will enjoy talking to you and will open up more.

a. Emotional Intelligence :- Emotional intelligence is an awareness of your actions and

feelings – and how they affect those around you. It also means that you value others,

listen to their wants and needs, and are able to empathize or identify with them on

many different levels.

b. Understand Your Partner’s Feelings :- One clear way you can respond to a person

with empathy is to truly imagine what life would be like if you were dealing with their

problem.

c. Ask Appropriate Questions :- Asking the right question is at the heart of effective

communications and information exchange. By using the right questions in a

particular situation, you can improve a whole range of communications skills: for

example, you can gather better information and learn more; you can build stronger

relationships, manage people more effectively and help others to learn too. If you ask

the wrong questions, you'll probably get the wrong answer, or at least not quite what

you're hoping for.

d. Paraphrase the Content :- Paraphrasing the content involves using other words to

reflect what the speaker has said.  Paraphrasing shows not only that you are listening,

but that you are attempting to understand what the speaker is saying. The objective of

paraphrasing is to make the other person understand that you have completely

comprehended the matter.

e. Paraphrase Emotions :-Paraphrasing emotions shows the speaker that you are trying

to perceive the world as they see it and that you are doing your best to understand

their messages. This tends to encourage them to continue talking.

5. Appropriately Adapt Messages

Audience analysis involves identifying the audience and adapting a speech to their

interests, level of understanding, attitudes, and beliefs. Taking an audience-centered

approach is important because a speaker’s effectiveness will be improved if the

presentation is created and delivered in an appropriate manner.

Factors in Audience Analysis

a. Audience expectations - When people become audience members in a speech

situation, they bring with them expectations about the occasion, topic, and speaker.

Violating audience expectations can have a negative impact on the effectiveness of the

speech.

b. Knowledge of topic - Audience knowledge of a topic can vary widely on any given

occasion; therefore, communicators should find out what their audience already knows

about the topic. Never overestimate the audience’s knowledge of a topic .

c. Attitude toward topic - Knowing audience members’ attitudes about a topic will

help a speaker determine the best way to reach their goals. Imagine that a presenter is

trying to convince the community to build a park. A speaker would probably be inclined

to spend the majority of the speech giving reasons why a park would benefit the

community.

d. Audience size - Many elements of speech-making change in accordance with

audience size. In general, the larger the audience the more formal the presentation should

be. Sitting down and using common language when speaking to a group of 10 people is

often quite appropriate. However, that style of presentation would probably be

inappropriate or ineffective if you were speaking to 1,000 people.

e. Demographics -  The demographic factors of an audience include age, gender,

religion, ethnic background, class, sexual orientation, occupation, education, group

membership, and countless other categories. Since these categories often organize

individual’s identities and experiences, a wise speaker attends to them. Politicians usually

pay a great deal of attention to demographic factors when they are on the campaign trail.

If a politician speaks in Day County, Florida (the county with the largest elderly

population) they will likely discuss the issues that are more relevant to people in that age

range – Medicare and Social Security.

f. Setting - The setting of a presentation can influence the ability to give a speech and

the audience’s ability and desire to listen. Some of these factors are: the set-up of the

room (both size and how the audience is arranged), time of day, temperature, external

noises (lawn mowers, traffic), internal noises (babies crying, hacking coughs), and type of

space (church, schoolroom, outside).