The Gift of Self

Developing self-concept in kids.

Poker Chip

Analogy

The more

you have

,

the more

you’ll

risk.

Poker Chip

Analogy

And kids

need to

take

RISKS

to grow

.

Don’t worry about creating a

self-absorbed narcissist.

That’s not going to be a

problem.

of elementary school boys agree with this statement: I’m happy the way I am.

67%

of elementary school girls do.

60%

By high school, the numbers

change.

46%BOYS

29

%GIRLS

Self love, my liege, is not so vile a sin as self neglecting.Shakespeare. Henry V.

9 in 10 girls say that media and the fashion industry want them to look like her.

We can build self-concept in kids.

And it’s actually not that tricky.

Here are the keys.

Key No. 1: They must have an unshakeable belief in their inherent worth.

One needs something to believe in, something for which one can have wholehearted enthusiasm.

Hannah Senesh

““

One needs to feel that one’s life has meaning, that one is needed in this world.

Hannah Senesh“

“

Here are some ways to help

with that.

serv

e othe

rs

I don't know what your destiny will be, but one thing I know:

“

The only ones among you who will be truly happy

are those who will have sought and found how to serve others.

“albert schweitzer

Write to th

emselves

about how th

ey

overcame tough

situations.

Develop

growth

mindset

*READ CAROL

DWECK’S BOOK

HELP

THEM

FIND

THIS

WRITE LUNCH BOX

NOTES AND

GET-WELL MESSAGES

(BOTTLE OPTIONAL).

Key No. 2: Help them recognize that they accomplish things of value.

READ “THE HOBBIT”

MASTEREDALGEBRA

PARENTS READ TO ME

READ BOOKS

WITH NO PICTURES

READ CHAPTER BOOKS

LEARNED TO READ

WILL READ “WAR &PEACE”

LIKED TO SINGSILLY SONGS

STARTEDPIANO

LESSONS

GOT BETTERAT

SIGHT-READING

GOT A KEYBOARD

&PLAYED

GOT MY OWN

IPOD

WILL PLAY“TRAUMEREI” &

LEARN LEFT HANDBETTER

LIKED TO SORT TOYS AND

PLAY GAMES

BEGIN TO LOVE

FRACTIONS

MULTIPLY&

DIVIDE

LEARNED TO DO

BASIC MATH

WILL TAKEAP

CALCULUS

CREATE TIMELINES OF SKILL DEVELOPMENT

CREATE APRIDE LINE

“I WAS PROUDOF MYSELF WHEN I…”

DEVELOPPRIDEIN THINGSTHAT ARE

SPECIFIC

DEVELOPPRIDEIN ACTIONS

NOTQUALITIES

DISPLAYSUCCESSSYMOLS

KEEP IN MIND:

ONEMAN’S

ANOTHER MAN’S

=

Key No. 3: Help them connect with others.

PEN PALS*TRY POSTCROSSING.COM

KEEP PETS

(ALIVE)

HELP THEM FIND FRIENDS.

EVEN JUST ONE.

Key No. 4: Help them understand the role of practice and effort.

IT AIN’T EASY, AND DON’T LET ‘EM

THINK IT IS.

If they think it should come

easily because they are smart,

they will become discouraged and begin to doubt

themselves.

Our doubts are traitors, and

make us lose the good we oft

might win by fearing to attempt.

William Shakespeare

Measure for Measure

Teach them the role of deliberate practice.

*see work of Anders Ericcson

I can golf every

weekend and not

get better.

To get better,

I have to

be motivatedto improve

getimmedia

tefeedback

perform the sameor similar tasks.

again and again

try the samething different

ways

not expect toenjoy thepracticeitself all ofthe time

That which we persist in doing becomes easier, not that the task itself has become easier, but that our ability to perform it has improved. Emerson

““

Key No. 5: Teach themto trust their intuition.

Blink…

and you

don’t miss it.

this

paid

$10,000,000

for this.

now they

think it might be

fake.

Oops.

Trust your gut.

Key No. 6: Know the perils of praise.

DANGER! PRAISE FOR BEING NOT

DOING AHEAD!

When you praise everything, you’re really praising nothing.

If you praise, doit for things theydo, not who theyare.

Praise effort, not perceived ability.

Say, “I’m noticinghow hard you’re working on that.”

Not, “You’re so smart.”

Now you have these.

Please feel free to use them on any kid you meet.

Click here If you want toknow more.

Credit LoveThis presentation was inspired by 100 Ways to Enhance Self-Concept by Jack Canfield. Although I read the very old edition, a newer one is available. Several of the ideas contained here are tweaks of ideas in this book.

The ideas regarding Ericsson’s work and the importance of intuition were inspired by Malcolm Gladwell’s books Outliers and Blink, respectively.

Photo credits:All photos except those noted below are from iStockPhoto & sxc.hu.Slide 15 – TotallyFred (Flickr)Slide 38 – Erik Plomp: www.ervaarmarketing.nl Getty – Jelson25 (Wikipedia user)Kouros – Dorli Burge