the girl who got a second chance, an award-winning screenplay
DESCRIPTION
A screenplay about Saba, a poor girl with flaming red hair who finds her Prince Charming and becomes queen of the realm. But first, she must escape the jaws of a crocodile and kill a giant. And oh yes, like any proper fairy tale, you'll find therein all the obligatory elements of the genre: magic, monsters, demons, an evil princess, a cross dresser...TRANSCRIPT
The GIRL WHO GOT A SECOND CHANCE: a fairy tale
a screenplay by
Dale Andersen@2013
Dale Andersen
27702 Crown Valley Pkwy
Dale Andersen
27702 Crown Valley PkwySuite 117, D-4Ladera Ranch, CA 92694562-508-5820Writers Guild Reg # 1633278
ite 117, D-4 2
FADE IN
EXT. A HORSE TRAIL IN THE WOODS - DAY
SUPER: SOMEWHERE ON EARTH, LONG AGO - OR MAYBE NOT...
A hooded RIDER gallops past, splashing through puddles.
EXT. NOT FAR BEHIND - THE SAME MOMENT
Three mounted SHANKALLAHS, tall, muscular warriors, pursue.
EXT. UP AHEAD – A MOMENT LATER
A fallen branch. The Hooded Rider clears it with ease.
EXT. BACK WITH THE SHANKALLAHS - A MOMENT LATER
The lead Shankallah tries vaulting the branch. His horse lands awkwardly. The other two slow down, steer around.
EXT. A MASSIVE TUNNEL TREE IN A CLEARING – A MOMENT LATER
The Hooded Rider slows at the tunnel, then dashes in and through. The Shankallahs arrive, see prints leading to the tunnel. As they approach, a rope springs up, dumping them.
Some Woodsmen, SQUEAK, SQUINT & SQUIRRELY, rush out and clubthe Shankallahs, killing them before they stand back up. Squeak and Squirrely chase the horses. Squint walks up to the tunnel and enters it. Sound of barking.
EXT. ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE TREE TUNNEL - THE SAME MOMENT
A clearing. A DOG barks at the kicking and thrashing Hooded Rider caught in a rope net suspended from a branch. A fourthWoodsman, SQUAWK, reaches in, jerks back the hood, revealinga YOUNG WOMAN, 19, with flaming red hair. She snarls. Squintwalks up and smacks her with a wooden stick. She yowls.
EXT. A CROWDED BAZAAR - THE SAME MOMENT
SUPER: A BAZAAR, A FEW SHORT MILES AWAY
LAVELLA (O.S.)Alms! For God's love, alms!
HIGG, 39, & LAVELLA, 35, kneel in beggar’s rags and beggar’sbowls. Across the way, a SLAVE MARKET.
EXT. A CLEARING - LATER THAT MORNING
The Young Woman, still in the net, whimpers. Nearby, two piles of wood: one of uncut branches; the other of cut wood bound up. The four Woodsmen play golf on a grass strip with wooden clubs and balls. Squint putts a ball. It rims out of the hole. He utters a silent curse.
EXT. THE BAZAAR - DAY
LAVELLA (O.S.)Alms! For the Holy Virgin, alms!
The COUNTESS and her SERVANTS and ENTOURAGE approach.
LAVELLA (CONT'D)Now don’t forget - -
HIGGI won't! Always running my life.
LAVELLAAlms for the Holy Martyrs!
COUNTESS’ SERVANTBack! Let the Countess pass!
Suddenly Higg foams at the mouth, spits, rolls in the dirt.
COUNTESSOh Lord! The poor man's possessed!
Higg howls like a wolf, brays like a donkey.
LAVELLAMy husband! Demon's got his soul!
Higg barks at the Countess’ Servant, snaps at his ankles.
LAVELLA (CONT'D)Jesus blesses the merciful, Lady!
Higg ruts like a pig. The Countess gasps in horror, snaps her fingers. Five gold coins clink into LaVella's bowl.
EXT. THE CLEARING - THE SAME MOMENT
Squirrely, Squeak, Squawk & Squint play golf.
3
SQUINTWe sell her at the bazaar. That redhair's for a Lord's bed. Or a public house. But for silver, theremust be no doubt on her virtue.
SQUAWKVirtue? How would they know?
SQUINTThey take the Good Book and the.
Squint takes Squawk's hand and mimes placing it on a Bible.
SQUINT (CONT'D)Auctioneer says, "Now on pain of your soul, do ye swear she’s pure?"
Squawk jerks his hand away, looks at it as if there’s a bloton it. Squint nods authoritatively, turns, walks away.
SQUAWKHow'd he get so smart?
SQUIRRELYHe used to be a priest.
EXT. THE CLEARING – LATER THAT MORNING
Sound of a large man coming. The Woodsmen grab hatchets and get back to chopping and bundling wood as BIG JEM, three hundred pounds of solid muscle, bursts into the open.
BIG JEMI expected it to be cut an’ ready.
SQUINTSorry, Big Jem. Speed up, Lads!
BIG JEMThat a girl over there?
SQUINTSet a trap for wild pigs. She rode right in. Shankallahs after her.
Big Jem walks to where the Young Woman hangs, scrunches down. They stare at each other.
BIG JEMYou look like a border girl.
YOUNG WOMANI'm from Dekia Rasho.
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BIG JEMLots of redheads in Dekia Rasho.
YOUNG WOMANOne less now.
BIG JEMI was there at the last Shankallah war. They wanted a few good men. Still remember the chief who signedme up. Name was Dekiarasha Mamo.
YOUNG WOMANHe was my uncle.
BIG JEMWas?
YOUNG WOMANKilled.
BIG JEMSorry. He saved my life once.
YOUNG WOMANYou thinking to buy me?
BIG JEMNo. My wife’d blow her top.
YOUNG WOMANSo you’ll let them drag me off?
BIG JEMDon’t mix me in on this.
YOUNG WOMANYou know what they do at auctions. But I s'pose that’s okay with - -
BIG JEMIt’s not whether it’s okay or - -
YOUNG WOMANPlease buy me. I'm asking, please.
Big Jem stands, starts to walk away. She calls after him.
YOUNG WOMAN (CONT'D)You said my uncle saved your life. You could repay by giving his niecea second chance. You owe him that!
Big Jem stops, turns, a “why me?” look on his face.
5
EXT. A SIDE ALLEY - DAY
LaVella counting coins, Higg puffing on a cigar.
HIGGGood day. Five golds, Two coppers.
They round a bend and BUMP into the belly of SHERIFF WILLIS.
SHERIFF WILLISWell, Master Marcus Higgins. Well well. A long time it's been, Higg.
He stubs the cigar out on Higg’s hat, squeezes LaVella's wrist. Coins drop into his palm. He walks off, humming. LaVella picks up a rock, sails it past his ear. Willis stops, turns. LaVella glares back, a second rock poised in her hand. Tense moment. Then Willis blows a kiss, walks off,clinking the coins and disappears around a corner.
HIGGDid you have to insult him, pet?
LAVELLAOh, shut up!
HIGGHow we gonna eat? He took our gold.
LAVELLANot all.
She opens her palm, displaying a single gold coin.
EXT. THE CLEARING - DAY
Big Jem walks the Young Woman to her horse.
BIG JEMTold 'em if they didn’t free you, your uncle’d come with a thousand of his friends.
YOUNG WOMANThank you.
BIG JEMYou didn’t say how your uncle died.
YOUNG WOMANIt was your precious princess.
BIG JEMShe ain’t my princess.
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YOUNG WOMANHer troops were marking the border.Dragooned our men for work gangs. Uncle said no. They cut his throat.
They arrive at the horse. She unties and mounts it.
BIG JEMSorry. So what's next for you?
YOUNG WOMANI'll get work, send money home to Mum. There’s an Inn a few miles up.They hire Dekia Rasho girls.
BIG JEMRough place. I’d advise you don’t.
YOUNG WOMANI know what I'm doing.
She waves as she rides off.
BIG JEMForgot to ask! What’s your name?
YOUNG WOMANSaba!
EXT. A SPACESHIP IN EARTH ORBIT - NIGHT
A LANDER separates from the Spaceship and blasts off.
INT. LANDER CARGO BAY - THE SAME MOMENT
A young man, AMLAK, 24, holds on as the ship shudders and shakes. TIN MAN, a human-like robot, swings from a hook.
TIN MANAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
EXT. ENTERING THE STRATOSPHERE - A MOMENT LATER
The Lander powers downwards. The heat shield covering the hull bursts into flames as if it were a giant FIERY BALL.
EXT. THE DIRT PATH TO THE INN - THE SAME MOMENT
LaVella & Higg trudge toward the lights and laughter ahead.
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LAVELLAFive golds and the Sheriff takes four. One second, we're on top of the mountain, the next, we're in a pit. More proof of God's wrath!
She looks up at the starry Heavens, shakes her fist.
LAVELLA (CONT'D)God, if this be good as it’ll ever be, let fire the Earth confound!
The FIERY BALL crosses the sky followed by a SONIC BOOM.
HIGGOh, you've done it now, Pet.
EXT. THE HORSEPATH TO THE INN - THE SAME MOMENT
Sound of laughter from the Inn. PRINCE ANDREAS, 28, his bodyguards, LANK & BRICK, on horseback, pass a bottle.
LANKMaids therein be prime cuts, Sir Prince. Not a pork chop in the lot.
The Fiery Ball crosses the sky followed by the Sonic Boom.
BRICKThe rapture! The Apocalypse!
PRINCE ANDREASDo you think it was?
LANKNo. The sky's up there, we're stillhere. It's a glad omen, Sir Prince.
Prince Andreas dismounts, walks toward the door. Lank pointsto three female faces, one of them Saba, at the window.
LANK (CONT'D)I see ripe fruit ready to be plucked, My Prince.
The INNKEEPER and three ne'er-do-wells, SNORT, BELCH & TUBBS, rush out. Tubbs, 25, is fat and hideously ugly.
INNKEEPERThe thunder! And the flash!
SNORTWas a demon, was it not?
BELCHOr the Devil himself!
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The Innkeeper sees Prince Andreas. He whips his hat off.
INNKEEPERApologies, My Lord! In the chaos, Ifailed to note your noble presence.
The Innkeeper bows, rushes to hold open the door. Prince Andreas turns to Brick & Lank.
PRINCE ANDREASIf my Mum passes by, don't tell herI'm within. Say I'm incommunicado,
(Points to Saba's face)in prayer at the altar of an angel.It will sooth her saintly bias.
He takes his crucifix, kisses it, tosses it to Brick. He steps inside. The Innkeeper closes the door.
EXT. A CLEARING IN THE WOODS - NIGHT
SUPER: MILES AND MILES AWAY ON A WOODED RIVERBANK
The Lander hovers off the ground. Floodlights illuminate thearea. Two CREWMEN, human-like robots, stand in the open cargo bay. Amlak stands on the ground outside.
CREWMAN 1A message from your mother, Sir.
Crewman 2 reads from a sheet of paper.
CREWMAN 2Son. Your stepfather and I are saddened by your refusal to supportfamily interests. After much soul-searching, we determined the best course is to send you far from the distractions of the Palace to let you reflect. Use this time wisely.
They disappear inside. Sound of heavy things being shifted. A wood crate is tossed out. WHUMPPP! Then the Tin Man, his leg hitting a rock – KRRANGG! - and he rolls into a puddle. Cargo door slides shut, floodlights switch off. The Lander rumbles to life and rockets up and away. Amlak looks up.
AMLAKOkay, Mama. What else you got?
Plop! A metallic snake-like thing, two feet long, lands at his feet. It stretches itself out, slithers toward Tin Man.
INT. THE INN - NIGHT
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A PUB inside. Snort, Belch & Tubbs drink. A WENCH serves anddodges pinchers. An ARTIST, 65, sits apart doing sketches. The Innkeeper watches the cashbox. Three LADIES-OF-THE-NIGHT, the same ones seen in the window, sit by the door. Prince Andreas raises a bottle in toast. The Ladies smile.
LADY-OF-THE-NIGHT 1Such rich clothing. Who is he?
LADY-OF-THE-NIGHT 2A knight? A merchant's son?
SABAI hope he likes redheads.
The Artist hands Saba a sketch.
INSERT - The Sketch
A drawing of Saba in a provocatively erotic, nude pose.
BACK TO SCENE
She blushes in shame, shoves the sketch back at the Artist, just as Prince Andreas slaps a silver coin on the counter.
PRINCE ANDREASLet the nectar flow for the lads!
(Under his breath)Yon redhead does intrigue me.
The Wench pours a round. Snort and Belch sing "He's A Jolly Good Fellow." Tubbs does not join in. A strangely-serious look has crossed his face. The Innkeeper proffers a key.
INNKEEPER Room 2, Sir. In back, on the right.
EXT. AT THE BACK OF THE INN AT A WINDOW - NIGHT
LAVELLAI don't like sneaking in windows.
HIGGBetter than sleeping in a ditch.
LAVELLAHigg? Fire in the sky. Was it - -
HIGGNothing, pet. Just an odd light.
She takes one last look up, shivers.
EXT. BACK AT THE WOODED RIVERBANK - NIGHT
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Amlak tries putting the snake in a slot in Tin Man's back.
TIN MANYou're pushing too far in.
AMLAKI'm doing my best.
TIN MANPush in and hook it left. That so hard? There! You screwed up again.
AMLAKYou keep flinching.
TIN MANOh, no way. You're the flincher.
INT. APPROACHING A DOOR IN THE DOWNSTAIRS HALLWAY - NIGHT
SABAThis way, My Lord.
PRINCE ANDREASDon't say Lord. I'm not a Lord. Tell me of your. Ah. Business.
SABANot a sure business yet, Sir, as today's my first day.
PRINCE ANDREAS First day? I must be your first client. Hope I prove a good one.
He takes the lighted candle from the sconce, holds it up to the shiny metal "3."
PRINCE ANDREASWhat's our room? Two? Is this two?
SABANo, Sir. It's three.
PRINCE ANDREASThen it’s one to the left or right?
He sets bottle down, takes a gold coin, prepares to flip.
PRINCE ANDREAS (CONT'D)Heads, left, tails, right. Call it.
SABATails, Sir.
He flips, catches the coin.
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PRINCE ANDREASTails it is. You’re my lucky charm.
He points right. Taking a swig, he gestures Saba to go ahead. He follows, for the first time eyeing her with lust.
INT. BACK IN THE PUB
Tubbs stands, wipes his mouth, gestures toward the back.
TUBBSI'm off to see Noble Lord.
BELCHLeavin' your cup, Tubbs?
TUBBSIt can wait. When you see me next, I'll be a man of enhanced fortune.
BELCHEnhanced from one copper to two?
TUBBSLaugh if you will. I'm set to ingratiate myself with His Nobleness, amaze him with my talents, skills and abilities.
SNORTLayabout boozer like you, Tubbs?
The Artist holds up a sketch.
INSERT - The Sketch
A cartoon of a hideously fat, naked Tubbs with a pig face.
BACK TO SCENE
Everyone but Tubbs laughs.
EXT. A CAMPSITE ON A HILLTOP - NIGHT
Campfire blazes. The crate lay open, with tools and parts ofa COMMUNICATIONS DISH scattered about. Tin Man has detached his lower right leg at the knee. He shakes the water out.
AMLAKI know the drill. You’re not here as my pal. You’re Mama’s eyes and ears, spying on me.
TIN MANSo you got it all scoped out, eh?
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Tin Man starts to reattach his leg. ZAP! Electricity crackles, lighting him up. The leg part bounces off a tree. The snake shoots out his back. Amlak rushes to help.
TIN MAN (CONT'D)Don’t touch me! Don’t! Touch! Me!
Tin Man drags himself to his leg part and reattaches it, this time no zap. Tin Man points to the metallic snake, slithering in a circle, and to the slot in his back.
AMLAKWhat exactly does that thing do?
TIN MANThat "thing" has service packs, upgrades and releases to make me the best robot I can be. Okay?
Tin Man gives him a "well, get on with it" look.
INT. IN ANOTHER PART OF THE DOWNSTAIRS HALLWAY - NIGHT
Tubbs rounds a corner, nearly trips over a CLEANING LADY.
TUBBSWhere's Noble Sir and the tart?
She looks up, shrugs. Tubbs sees a stairway, goes upstairs.
INT. A DOWNSTAIRS ROOM
Higg & LaVella sit at a table. A candle burns. Higg reaches for the one gold coin. LaVella slaps the hand away.
HIGGPet, we're a team. Trust me.
LAVELLAI trust you to go to the pub!
Sounds outside the door. Higg puts a finger to his lips.
INT. AGAINST THE DOOR OUTSIDE HIGG & LAVELLA'S ROOM
Prince Andreas presses against Saba, hand up her skirt.
SABAThis isn't decent, Sir.
He paws her, presses her tighter against the door.
13
INT. THE UPSTAIRS HALLWAY
Tubbs runs down the hall, stopping to bang on a door.
TUBBSNoble Sir! Noble Sir!
MALE VOICE FROM INSIDE (O.S.)Go away!
He runs to another door, bangs on it.
FEMALE VOICE FROM INSIDE (O.S.)Harold, a thief’s at the door!
MALE VOICE FROM INSIDE (O.S.)Be off or I'll throttle ye!
He bangs on another door. Silence. He tries it. It's open.
TUBBSNoble Sir? Noble Sir?
He peers into the darkness as the contents of a chamberpot are emptied over him and the door slams. He stands dripping.
INT. THE DOWNSTAIRS HALL
SABANo, Sir! No! Not out here!
She pushes hard. She's strong. He staggers back. She gives him an “And I mean it!” glare. He hangs his head.
PRINCE ANDREAS You're right.
He throws the bottle against the wall. It smashes.
PRINCE ANDREAS (CONT'D)It’s the drink. I embarrass myself and the ones I'm with. I apologize.
He draws a jewelled blade.
PRINCE ANDREAS (CONT'D)I pledge henceforth to be your truegentleman. And you'll be my lady.
He bows, then drunkenly readies himself to kick in the door.
PRINCE ANDREAS (CONT'D)Gentleman must ensure his lady's room is clear of any foul entities.
She gasps as he kicks hard at the door. It splinters.
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INT. HIGG & LAVELLA'S ROOM
LaVella & Higg, holding a club, are at the wall by the door as it is kicked in. A hand with a jeweled blade appears.
PRINCE ANDREAS (O.S.)Come out, all you scurvy dogs!
Higg swings and misses. The club flies from his hand. PrinceAndreas bursts in, sees Higg, goes into a fighting crouch.
PRINCE ANDREAS (CONT'D)Aha! Caught a foul entity, I did!
Higg grabs Prince Andreas' wrist. LaVella picks up the club,smacks him on the nose as Higg twists his wrist, turning theblade back, driving it into his chest. Blood sprays. Prince Andreas falls, the knife deep in his chest. Saba screams.
HIGGOh Mother of God, I didn't mean it!It slipped! You saw it, didn't you?
LaVella grabs Saba, tries to cover her mouth. Saba bites her. LaVella rips her skirt for a gag.
LAVELLAHigg! Help me shut her up!
Saba kicks Higg just before he corrals her ankles. They all fall with Higg & LaVella on top of the kicking, spitting, biting Saba. LaVella stuffs a rag in Saba’s mouth.
INT. THE PUB
A ten-year-old LAD sweeps the floor.
SNORTDija hear it? Woman's cry, I allow.
INNKEEPERIt was the wind! Lad, tell the two men outside to see about Noble Sir!
The Lad drops his broom, dashes out.
INT. THE OPEN DOORWAY OF HIGG & LAVELLA'S ROOM
Saba lies, tied and gagged. LaVella & Higg kneel by Prince Andreas. LaVella pulls a thick gold coin from his pocket.
LAVELLAFine work that. Holy Virgin on one side. St Joseph on the other.
15
Prince Andreas' eyes flicker open, his lips move.
PRINCE ANDREAS Mother, I'm sorry. Forgive me.
He grabs LaVella by her blouse, pulls her to him.
PRINCE ANDREAS (CONT'D)I beg you, Mother, forgive me!
HIGGFor God's love, forgive him!
LAVELLAI. I forgive you, Son.
Prince Andreas sighs, smiles, releases her, sinks back down.
INT. THE PUB
BANG! The Front Door opens. Lank & Brick enter, swords out.
LANKWhat's happened to the Prince?
INNKEEPERWho? Did you say the? The Prince?
BRICKPrince Andreas, heir to the Crown Royal. Lad said you heard a scream.
INNKEEPERT'was the wind, far as I know.
LANKWhere is he, you sack of pig guts?
The Innkeeper points to the back. Lank & Brick dash off.
INT. THE OPEN DOORWAY OF HIGG & LAVELLA'S ROOM
Moonlight on the corpse of Prince Andreas, a smile on his face. Outside, the sound of hoofbeats. Then the sound of running down a staircase and suddenly, Tubbs stands there.
TUBBSNoble Sir! Oh no. Oh no.
He goes down on one knee, pulls the knife from his chest.
TUBBS (CONT'D)Where's the tart? Where's the redheaded girl? Did she do this?
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He wipes the blade on his tunic. He holds it up.
TUBBS (CONT'D)If I had been here, Noble Sir, I would have protected you like so!
He thrusts and parries, as Lank & Brick round the corner.
LANKThe Prince’s blade! Blood on his coat! What'd you do, you fat scum?
EXT. THE CAMPSITE - DAY
Tools lay by a partially-assembled Dish. A pig carcass hangsby a hook. Amlak starts a campfire. Tin Man takes a cutting tool, snaps it to his wrist, begins skinning the pig.
TIN MANGiven any thought to Tre'Dean?
AMLAKYou asking for Mama or yourself?
TIN MANForget your Mama. We’re just conversing. Tre’Dean’s a fine girl.
AMLAKShe may be that, but I don’t have feelings for her. Not sure why, butthe girl I seek must be one I can'tget out of my mind, someone who’s aconstant source of wonder and awe.
TIN MANWonder. Awe. Sure don't ask much.
AMLAKIf she feels something, I should feel it, too. Instantaneously.
TIN MANNow he wants telepathy. You’re a constant source of wonder yourself.
INT. A BARN – DAY
TUBBS (O.S.)I swear it! I didn't kill him!
Naked, Tubbs hangs from a beam, whip and cut marks on him. Brick takes a red hot iron and presses it to Tubbs' skin.
TUBBS (CONT'D)It was Satan!
17
LANKNice try. You're scum. When the Prince came down the hall, you saw a man brimming with all that you lacked. And you hated him!
TUBBSNo! No! I loved him. I - -
LANKAnd you snuffed his life out, didn't you? Didn't you? Didn't you?
Brick drapes a white-hot chain on Tubbs. Sizzle of burning flesh. Tubbs screams as Innkeeper enters with Belch & Snort.
INNKEEPERHis drinking chums. Fine lads all.
LANKWell, what did he tell you?
BELCHSaid, 'I'm off to ingratiate himself with Noble Sir,' Sir.
SNORTTo demonstrate his special skills.
LANKHe had one special skill for sure.Skill for ambush. Prince died with a smile. Never knew what hit him.
Tubbs' head slumps forward. Brick jerks his head up.
BRICKHe's dead.
LANKToo bad! I wanted to question him about the redheaded tart.
EXT. A FORK IN THE ROAD - DAY
One SIGN reads: "CHRYSALOPOLIS ROYAL CITY." The other: "SHANKALLAH BORDER!" Higg & LaVella have Saba tied on a horse like a sack of potatoes. Higg gets off, cuts a rope. Saba tumbles off. Higg lights a cigar, takes a puff.
HIGGLeave or stay. Your choice. If you leave, be forewarned you'll be dodging the dead man's friends, your likeness no doubt tattooed on their brain. If you stay, first time you whine, we'll dump you.
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Saba stands, dusts herself off. Higg puffs away.
HIGG (CONT'D)That man was high born. Clothes. Speech. Demeanor. Marks of distinction, potentate, a Lord - -
SABAHe said not to call him that.
HIGGNot call him what?
SABALord. Not a Lord, he said.
HIGGNot a Lord then, but a man of powerand wealth. Reward'll be posted in the Royal City. Troops'll be everywhere. We must go elsewhere.
LAVELLAWe’re not going to the Shankallahs.I’m not painting my things blue or sticking a wood plug in my nose.
Saba clears her throat. Higg and LaVella turn.
SABAWe could go to Dekia Rasho.
HIGGWhere?!
SABADekia Rasho.
LAVELLAIs that an actual place?
SABABorder town. Far from the royal sheriffs and courts and the like.
A look passes between LaVella and Higg. Higg nods.
EXT. BEHIND THE ROADHOUSE - DAY
Vultures pick at Tubbs' corpse. In a nearby meadow, Lank, Brick & The Innkeeper stand, hats off, before a fresh grave.
BRICKWe should be taking him back.
LANKAye, he should be in a royal tomb.
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INNKEEPERThat's where I'd disagree, Sir. A quick burial is right. And let's recall why the Prince came here.
Brick & Lank’s hands go to their sword hilts.
INNKEEPER (CONT'D)Hear me out! If he’s moved, there’dbe gossip. Especially from women. Leave him here and put up a grand marker. Thousands will come to pay homage and spend money and it wouldbe to everyone's interest to recall
(Takes out a coin, winks)the Prince's nobility with no loosetalk of murder or red-headed tarts.
BRICKHe's right.
LANKBut we're making you responsible!
The Innkeeper bows and walks away. Lank is deep in thought.
LANKSomehow the tart played a role.
EXT. THE HIGH DESERT ROAD TO DEKIA RASHO - DAY
Higg, LaVella, Saba on horseback. Higg rides alongside Saba,chatting her up. They laugh. LaVella smolders.
EXT. IN FRONT OF THE ROADHOUSE - DAY
Belch & Snort approach Brick & Lank, with a brace of horses.
BELCHConvey to the Queen that we, her loyal subjects, grieve her loss.
BRICKQueen, you say? Did you neglect to mention His Highness, the King?
Lank studies their faces intently.
LANKYou're aware His Majesty and the Queen are living apart?
BELCHAye and we pray daily for a speedy and joyous reconcilement, Sir.
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Lank & Brick take the reins of the Horses.
LANKTell us of the red-headed tart.
BELCHShe was new. But the Innkeeper let her sit with the regular girls.
LANKMight we get a description?
BELCHThere's an old sod who does sketches. Keen eye. Might have a pictorial representation.
LANKWhere might this graphic wizard be?
Snort points to the Inn and mimes drinking from a bottle.
EXT. THE CAMPSITE - NIGHT
The pig roasts on a spit. Amlak gnaws on a joint of meat. Tin Man works on the Dish, rotating it. The monitor displays snow. Only static comes from the audio.
EXT. APPROACHING THE FORK IN THE ROAD - DAY
Lank & Brick round a curve and pass a field where two BOYS practice putting balls into rabbit holes. The Boys wave. They ride on and halt at the two Signs. They dismount.
LANKWhen they hear about the Prince, our lives won't be worth a copper.
BRICKSo where do we go? And don't say toKing Garamanjo's Shankallahs.
A long silence while Lank thinks. Then he snaps his fingers.
LANKThere is one royal lady - -
INT. THE GREAT HALL OF THE ABBEY - NIGHT
SUPER: The Abbey of Mary Queen of Heaven
Torches burn high on the walls. Armed MONKS stand guard. Sound of a lady's heels clicking on tile. ABBOT RODOLFO, 70,and BROTHER YAKOB, 40, await as PRINCESS ANDRESSA, 28,
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beautiful in a dark dangerous way, bursts from the shadows.
PRINCESS ANDRESSAMy mother, the Queen! Where is she?
EXT. THE HIGH DESERT ROAD - NIGHT
LaVella leads. Higg and Saba, side-by-side, ride behind.
HIGGAh, pet? Saba and I have concocted a tip-top business plan.
LAVELLAHave you.
HIGGA strip tease. In Dekia Rasho, it'dbe talk-of-the-town, a sure-fire money-maker. Men'd go wild.
LAVELLAWould they.
HIGGJust imagine a soft, creamy - -
LaVella slides a short club from under her saddle.
INT. THE GREAT HALL IN THE ABBEY - NIGHT
PRINCESS ANDRESSAThe King asks why his wife, my mother, is not in her palace.
ABBOT RODOLFOHer prison, you mean.
PRINCESS ANDRESSAShe’s free to come and go.
ABBOT RODOLFOA hundred dragoons watching her?No, Lady Andressa. I'll not play inyour mud puddle. Queen is not queen, having renounced her title.
PRINCESS ANDRESSAShe hasn't the authority!
ABBOT RODOLFOShe disagrees! She wishes to be known simply as Sister Christa.
A MONK in a chef's apron enters, bows.
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ABBOT RODOLFO (CONT'D)Ah! Dinner. Join us, Lady?
Princess Andressa fixes him with a murderous glare, turns and exits in a fury. He signals Brother Yakob to follow her.
EXT. THE HIGH DESERT ROAD - NIGHT
Higg lies crumpled in the dirt. Saba kneels at his side.
SABAYou killed him!
LAVELLAOne can only wish!
LaVella dismounts, moves menacingly toward Saba.
LAVELLA (CONT'D)Get up!
SABAStay away!
LAVELLAGet up! No first-day-on-the-job whore is going to - -
Saba launches herself at LaVella. They grapple, roll in the dirt. In the distance, a point of light flares up.
HIGG (O.S.)Oh My God! Stop! Look! Stop!
LaVella has Saba pinned. She raises the club.
HIGG (O.S. CONT'D)LaVella pet! No! Stop!
Higg grabs LaVella's arm.
HIGGPet! Stop! Look!
LaVella looks, drops the club. Saba exhales.
LAVELLAOh my God! What is it?
Saba looks.
SABAIt's Dekia Rasho! It's on fire!
EXT. THE ABBEY - NIGHT
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Princess Andressa approaches her Carriage. Her COACHMEN await, among them EMAMU, a nine foot tall Shankallah. She senses she's being followed. She turns to see Brother Yakob.
PRINCESS ANDRESSAThe Abbot blames me for my parents.Long have I striven for his trust.
BROTHER YAKOBAbbot Rodolfo trusts only in God.I'm a simple monk. If I can help.
PRINCESS ANDRESSAI knew you were a man of compassion. Say to the Abbot
(Slides her ring off)You’re going to the desert to pray.Come to the palace. Show this ring.
She runs to the Carriage, stops, looks back.
PRINCESS ANDRESSA (CONT'D)You're my only hope, Brother Yakob.
She climbs in, the door closes. Her face appears in the rearwindow as the Carriage crosses the moat. Emamu flashes a menacing grin. Brother Yakob looks at the ring and shivers.
EXT. THE CAMPSITE - NIGHT
Amlak stares into the coals. Tin Man tests the assembled Dish. He gets bursts of what sounds like speech, but mostly he gets snow and static. He curses under his breath.
EXT. DEKIA RASHO - NIGHT
A moonscape of ashes. Scores of corpses lay scattered.
SABA (O.S.)Oh God! No! No! Mama! Oh God, Sis!
Saba gallops off. Higg starts after her. LaVella stops him. He dismounts, goes through the pockets of a corpse, finds a silver coin. LaVella gives him a look. He puts it back. Sound of a door being kicked in. Higg points to a BUILDING. They go down an alley. Two Men in army garb confront them. These are PLUG and STORK. Plug draws a big kitchen knife.
INT. THE PRINCESS' CHAMBERS AT THE PALACE - NIGHT
Two Shankallah WARRIORS guard the door. LORD BRANDON, 40, ata mirror, applies mascara and eye shadow. The MAID enters.
MAIDShe's coming!
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Lord Brandon curses, exits out back as Princess Andressa, with Emamu, enters. A pile of what appears to be laundry stirs and morphs by degrees into a fat Monk, BROTHER TWITCH.
BROTHER TWITCHYour Highness.
PRINCESS ANDRESSAWhere is my husband?
Brother Twitch waves at the back door. A BIRD flies through the window and lights on Brother Twitch's finger. It peeps.
BROTHER TWITCHThank you, little brother.
The Bird peeps a "you're welcome" and flies back out.
BROTHER TWITCH (CONT'D)Princess, I have momentous news.
PRINCESS ANDRESSAI could use some.
BROTHER TWITCHYour twin brother - -
PRINCESS ANDRESSAAndreas? What about him?
BROTHER TWITCHIt seems he's. Ah. Dead.
The Maid gasps. She drops a cup. It smashes.
EXT. DEKIA RASHO - NIGHT
STORK (O.S.)Put it away, Plug!
Stork takes the knife away from Plug.
STORK (CONT'D)We're on edge. Are you refugees?
SABAUh no. We're from - -
Higg steps in front of her, signaling her to shut up.
HIGGFrom Chrysalopolis! Royal city. Friends of the Queen, we are.
On the word "Queen," Stork & Plug remove their caps.
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STORKThe Queen! Bless her!
PLUGIt was King Garamanjo did this!
STORKHim an' ten thousand Shankallahs. Came in the middle of the night, they did. Liquored an' crazy-eyed.
PLUGWe're what's left, Stork and me. Bakers, we are. Had the midwatch, baking for morning chow. All heck broke loose. We hid in the oven.
STORKIt's a big oven, thank the Virgin.
INT. THE PRINCESS' CHAMBERS - NIGHT
PRINCESS ANDRESSA (O.S.)To death!
Princess Andressa & Brother Twitch clink champagne flutes, as Lord Brandon glides in wearing a flowing, flowery gown.
LORD BRANDONDid I hear the d-word?
The Maid pours champagne for Lord Brandon.
LORD BRANDON (CONT'D)My Sweet, who has shuffled off thismortal coil? Your mater, mayhap?
BROTHER TWITCHIn Paradisum deducant te angeli.
PRINCESS ANDRESSAUnhappily, Mum's fit as a fiddle.
BROTHER TWITCHTuo adventu suscipiant te martyres.
PRINCESS ANDRESSABut my footloose frater is not.
BROTHER TWITCHAeternam habeas requiem. O Lord Jesus, King of glory, deliver the soul of your servant, Andreas, fromthe pains of hell lest he fall intoeverlasting darkness. Amen et amen.
This hits Lord Brandon like a hard slap. He faints, his
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flute smashes on the tile.
EXT. THE ABBEY - NIGHT
Across the moat at the forest's edge, ROYAL SOLDIERS keep watch. At the Abbey walls, armed MONKS patrol as hundreds oflame, crippled PILGRIMS in rude tents wait expectantly. The DUKE OF RAMAPO, 60, on horseback, waits at a side gate. It opens. The QUEEN, 50, thin from fasting, rides out to him.
EXT. THE CEMETERY AT DEKIA RASHO - NIGHT
Higg, LaVella, Stork & Plug stand before two fresh graves marked by crosses. Saba kneels in prayer, crosses herself, stands. Higg lights a cigar, turns to Stork with a nudge.
HIGGHow about a walk, you and me?
They walk past scenes of desolation. Higg hands Stork a cigar. Higg smiles a salesman’s smile.
HIGG (CONT'D)Not much left but I figure if there's anything of value layin' about, you'd know where.
STORKNo, I wouldn't, Sir. An' for your information, Garamanjo's comin' back. Shankallah way is to.
Stork leans in for the light.
STORK (CONT'D)Let others do the looting, then kill the looters an' grab the loot.
Higg snuffs out the light and takes back the cigar.
EXT. THE WALLED ABBEY GARDEN - NIGHT
The Duke & the Queen ride side by side. A Monk follows. Out of nowhere, a POOR WOMAN limps up.
POOR WOMANYou do more good than you know.
The Poor Woman bows and limps off into the dark.
THE DUKEYou have uncounted friends who keepat bay those who fear you more as nun than as queen.
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THE QUEENNo one fears me.
THE DUKEThey fear you will say the word andthe simple folk will tear them to bits. They fear you have ambition.
THE QUEENMy ambition is to pray and fast.
From out of nowhere, an OLD WOMAN in tatters and her SON, suffering from elephantiasis, hobble up.
OLD WOMANPray for us, Lady.
She makes the sign of the cross. They hobble off.
THE DUKEAnd spare a prayer for your brotherto safeguard him from your daughter. She spits in my face. I've no faction, no men-at-arms. I'm not safe. I've nowhere to run.
THE QUEENRun here. You're safe here.
THE DUKEMonkery suits me not, Little Sis.
THE QUEENThen take care and when you see Andreas, say I await his visit.
THE DUKEI expect him soon. He's my one friend, the last unblemished jewel in the crown of this curséd realm.
He gallops off. She watches him, a tear runs down her cheek.
EXT. THE CAMPSITE - DAY
Tin Man tests the Dish as it rotates. It emits a ping. The snow is now replaced by solid horizontal bars. Down the hillin the grass, Amlak scans the horizon with binoculars.
EXT. A ROAD HEADING OUT OF DEKIA RASHO - DAY
A WOMAN wails over a small boy’s corpse. Nearby, a MAN digs a grave. Higg, LaVella, Saba, Plug & Stork ride past.
STORKRun, Brother. Garamanjo's comin'
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MANGot to bury me son first.
They pass gutted, burnt-out buildings. They see LOOTERS.
STORKRun, Brothers. Garamanjo's comin'
LOOTERMind your own business!
Ahead, the high desert looms.
EXT. APPROACHING CHRYSALOPOLIS - DAY
Golden domes and silver spires shimmer. A drawbridge GUARD awaits. Lank takes out a massive silver ring.
LANKWe say we've urgent business with the Princess. If the guard makes difficulties, we show him this.
BRICKYe Gods, where'd you get that?
LANKOff the Prince's big toe.
The Guard motions them to dismount.
INT. KING'S COUNCIL CHAMBER - DAY
Portraits of long-dead royalty on the walls. The ARCHBISHOP,the Duke, SIR GULF and MASTER STEVEN, in robes, enter & sit.
ARCHBISHOPWe are met for the King's business.
MASTER STEVENThe Queen's business.
THE DUKEPrincess Andressa's business.
ARCHBISHOPSir Gulf, is all in order?
SIR GULFYes, Your Holy Worship.
The door opens. Emamu enters and posts up at the door. The KING, 60 and frail, and Princess Andressa enter. They sit.
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PRINCESS ANDRESSAPapa is not well. Yet he wishes to see this matter concluded. Are the warrants and charters in order?
SIR GULFThey are, Lady.
THE DUKEShould not Her Majesty be here?
PRINCESS ANDRESSAWhatever for, Sir Duke?
THE DUKETo refute the calumnies heaped uponher by her accusers, to - -
PRINCESS ANDRESSAI am her chief accuser! She is my mother, yet my duty is to my King.
The King gestures. He whispers. All strain to hear. Then...
PRINCESS ANDRESSA (CONT'D)Papa says all know the Queen heapedundeserved honors on her brother which the Duke fears he may - -
THE DUKEI have long borne your bitter scorns! By God, were the Prince here, he'd tell a different - -
PRINCESS ANDRESSAWhat? See how he pretends not to know the Prince my brother is dead?
The Duke's face is ashen. His lips move but emit no sound.
PRINCESS ANDRESSA (CONT'D)Who gains from my brother's demise?Who is now closer to the crown? You've much to answer for, Uncle.
Emamu seizes the Duke, drags him out. The Others regard her with open fear. A smile of approval crosses the King's lips.
EXT. THE HIGH DESERT ROAD - DAY
Higg, LaVella, Saba, Plug & Stork ride in a weary line. Stork rises up in his saddle, points to a distant speck.
SABAWhat is it?
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STORKWe'll soon know.
It slowly becomes visible as a faraway grove of trees.
EXT. THE PILGRIM TENTS OUTSIDE THE ABBEY WALL - DAY
A Monk comes outside. An excited buzz among the Pilgrims.
MONKSister will soon be amongst you to lay healing hands on one and all. She asks that you open your hearts,love one another as He loved you.
INT. THE PRINCESS' CHAMBER - DAY
Out the window, the Duke's body hangs from a tree. Lord Brandon & Brother Twitch play chess. Lank and Brick cringe as Princess Andressa turns the toe ring over in her hand.
PRINCESS ANDRESSAI was thinking of hanging you both.
BRICKOh spare us, Highness!
PRINCESS ANDRESSABut you were his bodyguards and youfailed to guard his body.
BRICKWe have a pictorial representation of the killer!
LANKYes, Lady, graphical evidence!
Shaking, Brick takes a paper from inside his coat. Emamu appears from out of nowhere, snatches it, hands it to her.
INSERT: the sheet of paper
The nude sketch of Saba from the Inn.
BACK TO SCENE
Princess Andressa looks at the picture, licks her lips.
PRINCESS ANDRESSASo this is the red-headed tart.
LANK & BRICKShe and two ne'er-do-wells did the black deed, Highness.
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A long moment.
PRINCESS ANDRESSAI will spare you. For now. But there's a price. Find my brother's killers. If you fail, Emamu will turn you into roasts, filets and sweetbreads. You have forty days.
She drops the sketch on the floor, glides from the room, followed by the Emamu. Brother Twitch moves a chess piece.
BROTHER TWITCHCheck and mate!
EXT. THE OASIS - DAY
LaVella, Higg, Saba, Plug & Stork halt at a STONE WELL next to three garishly colored and gayly-ornamented WAGONS.
SABAGypsy Wagons.
LAVELLABut where are the Gypsies?
Stork points to a campfire with a pot of stew still cooking.
LAVELLA Why don’t you two scout around?
STORKScout? Us?
LAVELLAIsn’t that what soldiers do?
PLUGUh Miss LaVella, it’s like we've.
STORKNever performed as scouts. We were trained in the culinary arts.
LaVella rolls her eyes, looks at Higg.
HIGGDon’t look at me, pet.
A long silence.
SABAI'll do it.
LAVELLASure you know what you're doing?
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SABARide around, check things out. How hard can that be?
Saba rides off. They watch her go.
LAVELLANow let's secure the area and post a guard detail. Dismount! Form up!
STORKWho made you commander in chief?
LaVella gives Stork a withering glare. He swallows - GULP!- and begins to dismount. Higg and Plug follow suit.
EXT. THE DRAWBRIDGE LEAVING CHRYSALOPOLIS - DAY
A cold wind. Black clouds pass in front of the sun. Lank & Brick, cloaks wrapped tight, ride across the drawbridge.
EXT. THE OASIS - NIGHT
Higg, LaVella, Plug, Stork sit at the campfire.
STORKProbably dead. Gypsies killed her.
PLUGOr they're holding her hostage.
HIGGYou shouldn't've let her go, pet.
LaVella glares at him.
HIGG (CONT'D)Just expressing an opinion, pet.
From the shadows, Saba and twenty GYPSIES emerge.
PLUGMiss Saba, are you all right?
SABAOf course I am.
INT. A ROADSIDE PUB – NIGHT
Lank, Brick and four GAMBLERS at a table. Some MEN stand andwatch. The Gamblers lay coins down. Lank deals.
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LANKEight a'hearts. Four a'clubs. Deucea'spades. Eight a'spades.
(To Brick)Would you pass the pictorial? Let 'em look while I deal. Save time.
Brick takes out the sketch. The Men pass it around.
LANK (CONT'D)Woman's a tart, travelling with twotricksters. Reward payable in gold.
MAN AT TABLEWhat'd she do?
BRICKYou name it! Larceny, conniving - -
LANKTreason and blasphemy!
A Man steps up. It.s the Man who was burying his son.
MAN STANDINGDidn't see no blaspheming or conniving but I seen her in Dekia Rasho two days back with a man, a woman and two soldiers.
LANKCould you say where they're headed?
MAN STANDINGHow 'bout that reward gold first?
BRICKTo the point. I like your style.
Brick winks at Lank. Lank plays a card.
EXT. THE OASIS - NIGHT
The GYPSY CHIEF, 90, and a GYPSY MAN sit with Saba, Higg, LaVella, Plug and Stork. Nearby, GYPSY WOMEN prepare a meal.Higg and the Gypsy Chief puff on cigars.
GYPSY CHIEFSaw the fellas in Army shirts andI thought, "Oh Lord, those peoplecalled out soldiers." But little lady here said you meant no harm.
SABAThey were running from a lynch mob back in the town at the Inn.
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GYPSY CHIEFKnives, ropes, axes. Said to get out now or else. Ain't it right?
GYPSY MANIt's right. It's how it was.
GYPSY CHIEFBeggin' us to tell fortunes an’ next minute it's a necktie party.
STORKDid they say why?
GYPSY CHIEFDon't need a reason. They blame us Gypsies for everything! But since you asked, they said a young Royal was knifed at the Inn.
Higg gives LaVella and Saba a nervous look.
HIGGA. A knife, you say?
LAVELLADid they give the Royal's name?
GYPSY CHIEFMob comin' an' you 'spect me to say, "'Scuse me, afore you hang me,could I know the Royal's name?"
HIGGHer meaning was, seems queer for a lofty Royal to favor a common Inn.
GYPSY CHIEFTo my way a’ thinkin’ wasn't queer.Got the Queen, all virtuous with her rosaries an' father confessors.How's a young buck to get a bit a' the wild side with her shakin' her holy finger? Ain't it right?
GYPSY MANIt's right.
He takes a long puff on his cigar.
GYPSY CHIEFNot easy livin' with a saint.
(To Saba)Thanks, little lady, for settin' us at ease. Children were scared to death and there you were like an angel, sayin' not to fear. Letan old Gypsy give you a blessing.
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He lays hands on her, whispers. Suddenly he looks tired.
GYPSY CHIEF (CONT'D)Oh now! That cigar took a lot out of me! I must go, go an' lie down.
The Gypsy Man guides the Gypsy Chief away. Higg gestures LaVella & Saba to move out of Plug & Stork's hearing.
HIGGIt was a royal!
LAVELLAHigg! Keep your wits!
HIGGWe’re going to die! All of us!
LAVELLAQuick way to lose a life is act like a chicken without its head!
Stork & Plug yawn and head for bed. They watch them go.
HIGGDo you know what they do? Strip younaked and work you with chisels andgouges. We split up. Just until - -
LAVELLAOh you'd like it! Be single again! No! It'd be worse. They'd get us one by one. If they got to Miss Redhead first, she'd sell us to save her creamy strip-tease skin!
SABAI would not!
The Gypsy Chief re-emerges from the shadows.
GYPSY CHIEFOne last thing. Forgot to say it's not just us. They’re lookin’ for three more. If you know someone, bean act of selfless charity to give a timely warning. Farewell!
The Gypsy Chief fades again into the shadows.
HIGGThree others?
LAVELLAIf he knows, who else knows?
(To Saba)Have you been talking?
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SABANo!
HIGGWhat now? Where do we go?
Long silence.
LAVELLAWhat were his last words?
SABA"Forgive me, Mother."
LAVELLAIf he's Royal, who'd be his Mum?
HIGGOh no! You're not thinking - -
LAVELLAWe don't say you killed him. She needn't know every little detail.
She unfolds a hanky, revealing the Prince's gold coin.
LAVELLA (CONT'D)Our passport to Queen Christa.
EXT. THE WINDOW AT THE PRINCESS' CHAMBERS - DAY
Morning. Birds chirp. The Maid's body hangs from the gibbet.
INT. THE PRINCESS' CHAMBERS - DAY
Sound of drawers opening & closing. Brother Yakob, in bed with the snoring Princess Andressa, awakens.
LORD BRANDONShhh. Ignore me. I'm not here.
PRINCESS ANDRESSAWhat's going on?
LORD BRANDONNothing dearest.
He slides the drawer shut, guilt written all over his face.
PRINCESS ANDRESSAYou were after the toe ring!
He stares down, awaiting the coming rant.
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PRINCESS ANDRESSA (CONT'D)Would you believe there was a time when I actually loved this cypher?
He begins inching toward the door.
PRINCESS ANDRESSAYou stay right there!
(To Brother Yakob)I ignored all the warning signs. I wanted "our" love but there was no "our," no "we." And finally, what is there to say when you find your husband in bed with your brother?
LORD BRANDONFor God's sake, Andressa!
PRINCESS ANDRESSASuffice to say I've paid and paid.
LORD BRANDONAndressa! I warn you!
PRINCESS ANDRESSAHe warns me. I thought sheer willpower would suffice. But can you will a thing into its opposite?
LORD BRANDONDon't encourage her! I warn you.
PRINCESS ANDRESSAHe warns you. Well, can you, Monk?
BROTHER YAKOBThere. There are miracles, My Lady.
PRINCESS ANDRESSAYes, miracles. Turn a wench's raggedy-ann dress into a shimmeringgown. Or a pumpkin into a coach & four. But it doesn't last. At the stroke of twelve, it reverts back.
BROTHER YAKOBThere's prayer, My Lady.
PRINCESS ANDRESSAPrayer. But in the case of my in-name-only husband, what do I pray for? For the pig to be taken from the mud? Or the mud from the pig?
LORD BRANDONDon’t mock me, you satanic bitch!
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PRINCESS ANDRESSAAh! The anger. It's what first attracted me to him.
Lord Brandon smashes a cup, exits, slamming the door. Through the window, he is seen storming past, giving the hanging Maid a shove. The corpse swings wildly.
PRINCESS ANDRESSAThat reminds me. I need a new maid.
EXT. THE HIGH DESERT ROAD - DAY
Stork, Plug, Saba, LaVella & Higg ride in a weary line. Stork raises an arm. They halt. Stork stands up in his stirrups, shades his eyes, squints off into the distance.
STORKThe river valley. Soon we'll be dropping out of the desert. And on the King's Highway enroute to the Abbey and the Queen.
SABAI can't wait to bathe!
PLUGMiss Saba. Just as you are, you look like an angel from heaven.
EXT. THE CAMPSITE – DAY
Things are still not going well with the pinging Dish. Tin Man curses under his breath. Amlak lazes on a rock, scanningthe plateau with binoculars. Suddenly, he straightens up.
INSERT - What Amlak sees
Saba astride her horse. She is stunning.
BACK TO SCENE
AMLAKOh! Oh God! Look! Look at her!
TIN MANWhat was that?
AMLAKUh. Just a bird in flight.
EXT. ON A SMALL RISE BY A RIVER BANK – NIGHT
Twilight, just past dusk. Sound of a waterfall somewhere.
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Higg & LaVella unload. Saba, Plug & Stork head to the water.
SABA If I don't wash, I'll die.
LAVELLAThinks she's the Queen of Sheba. Be careful of snakes!
PLUGWe'll keep an eye on her, Ma’am.
Saba, Plug & Stork vanish in the reeds at water's edge.
LAVELLAThey'll keep more'n an eye on her.
EXT. THE SWIMMING HOLE – NIGHT
At the pool's far end, a flat ROCK juts up. Beyond the Rock,a waterfall cascades from a high point marked at the top by a grove of trees. Spray descends as fine mist. Saba wades out to knee-deep. As she disrobes, she sways, like in a strip tease. Now nude, she kicks out, swims toward the Rock.
EXT. A SHED WITH A DIRT FLOOR IN A FIELD - NIGHT
A campfire burns. The door hangs open on rusty hinges. Inside, the battered body of the Man from the Pub.
LANKSo they're coming this way.
BRICKRunning from the Shankallahs.
LANKBut where are they headed? Key information he didn’t know.
Brick takes a burning stick from the fire.
BRICKThere's your gold, lad. Enjoy.
He tosses it on a pile of golden leaves. It bursts in flame.
EXT. THE BIG ROCK IN THE SWIMMING HOLE – NIGHT
Saba swims up to the Rock. She sees Stork & Plug, twenty feet back, swimming furiously. She laughs as she lifts herself up, standing naked in the moonlight like a siren beckoning men to their doom. Stork reaches the Rock.
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SABAWhere did Plug go?
Stork turns to see no one in the black water.
SABA (CONT'D)He submerged. He’s playing a trick.
She laughs as the nose of a CROCODILE pops up. Its head breaks surface with Plug gripped in its jaws, his limp arm hanging out. Its mouth closes tight, slicing the arm off.
SABA (CONT'D)Oh God oh God! Oh God! No!
The Croc submerges. Saba screams.
SABA (CONT'D)Get out of the water! Get out now!
As Stork clambers onto the Rock, Plug's bloody arm and hand pop to the surface.
SABA (CONT'D)Oh God! No! Please no!
Higg & LaVella appear at the shore. Stork waves wildly.
STORKLook out! Crocodile!
Higg puts a hand to his ear. Stork cries louder.
STORK (CONT'D)Croc! A croc got Plug!
SABAHelp us! Please!
EXT. THE CAMPSITE – NIGHT
SABA (O.S.)Somebody! Somebody, please help us!
Amlak's eyes are open wide. He comes to a bolt upright position. He stands and starts to run.
TIN MANWhere are you going?
Amlak indicates a distant high point marked by a tree grove.
AMLAKThere! I'm going there!
Tin Man chases after him, the high grass smacking his legs
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and torso, making a plink-plink-plink sound.
EXT. ON THE ROCK AT THE SWIMMING HOLE – NIGHT
Saba lies naked, crying, convulsing. Stork stands at the edge, staring into the water at the Croc.
EXT. AT THE WATER'S EDGE - NIGHT
Higg throws stones, trying to distract the Croc.
LAVELLASee how she flaunts herself!
HIGGPet, will you please shut up?
EXT. ON THE PLATEAU ABOVE THE SWIMMING HOLE - NIGHT
Amlak screeches to a halt, turns to face Tin Man, who stops.
AMLAKI want to make a good first impression. How do I look?
Amlak grins a princely grin, strikes a manly pose.
AMLAK (CONT'D)Tell the truth. Don't lie.
TIN MANWhat do you want me to say?
AMLAKJust give me your honest first impression. How do I look?
TIN MANI'm not good at this.
AMLAKIf you were a woman, would you regard me as acceptable?
Tin Man sighs the sigh of someone out of his depth. Then...
TIN MANYou're fine. You look fine.
EXT. THE ROCK – NIGHT
The Croc glides just below the surface.
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STORKNo use. Only way out is through thewater. Which is certain death.
SABAThere must be another way! I got it! A horse! Kingdom for a horse!
STORKWhat are you talking about?
SABA(Calls out to Higg)
Plug's horse! Feed it to the Croc!(To Stork)
While the monster is busy chewing on Plug's horse, we swim to safety.
Higg and LaVella dash off. Suddenly, WHUMPP!! The Rock shakes like an earthquake. Stork falls and rolls toward the edge. Saba grabs his ankle, pulls him back. Another WHUMPP!!
EXT. UP ABOVE NEAR THE GROVE OF TREES - NIGHT
Amlak nears the crest. Sound of the waterfall overwhelms. WHUMPPP!! followed by a second WHUMPP!! Amlak sprints forward to the plateau’s edge.
EXT. AT THE WATER'S EDGE - NIGHT
WHUMPPP!! Higg & LaVella pull/prod the HORSE into the water.
LAVELLAAfter we get her out of this, we'rehaving a talk with her. And this time you will back me up!
WHUMPPP!! A scream from Saba.
STORKHelp! Hurry!
LAVELLAWhat's going on out there?
Then theyy see, in the moonlight, the Croc ramming into the Rock which now sits at a crazy angle, Stork & Saba holding onto outcroppings to keep from sliding off.
Higg pops a whip. The Horse moves out deeper. WHUMPP!! The Rock tilts more. Saba screams. Stork loses his grip and slides into the waiting jaws of the Croc. The Croc stares menacingly at Higg & LaVella as it chews up Stork.
SABAI can't hold on much longer!
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HIGGLook!
Higg points up to the crest. Amlak shines like a God throughthe mist. Tin Man stands by him, his metallic face aglow.
LAVELLAWho is that? Who are they?
The Croc spits out part of a leg. It looks up, belches.
EXT. AT THE CREST OF THE WATERFALL - NIGHT
AMLAKYou see? There she is!
TIN MANAny moment she'll slide into the monster's mouth.
AMLAKNot if I can help it!
Amlak picks Tin Man up, holds him over his head and throws him downward toward the Rock and the Croc.
EXT. AT THE WATER'S EDGE - NIGHT
HIGGOne threw the other off the cliff!
EXT. IN MID AIR - NIGHT
Tin Man tumbles wildly, trying to right himself.
TIN MANAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
EXT. THE BIG ROCK ISLAND – NIGHT
WHUMPP!! The tilt steepens. Saba holds on tight. Below her, the Croc positions himself for a fresh meal.
She slips just as Tin Man hits the Rock with a CRASH BANG BOOM and bounces into the Croc's open mouth. GLOOP! The Monster's jaws snap shut. He submerges. Saba sees her chance, slides into the water and makes a beeline for shore.
EXT. HIGH ABOVE AT THE GROVE OF TREES - NIGHT
Amlak watches Saba, her naked body shimmering in the moonlight, as she makes for the reeds at water's edge.
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AMLAKMagnificent! Perfect in every way.
EXT. IN THE MOONLIGHT AT THE WATER'S EDGE - NIGHT
HIGGLook! She's going to make it!
LAVELLAHunh! More than she deserves!
Just as the Croc breaks surface with a thunderous roar, choking, gagging, churning the water.
HIGGSomething's wrong! He's gone mad!
The Croc swims in a mad circle crashing into the Rock, smashing it to bits in a mighty explosion. The Croc shakes, shudders, rolls on its back and, slides beneath the waves.
INT. THE PRINCESS' CHAMBERS AT THE PALACE – NIGHT
Emamu stands guard at the door. Princess Andressa paces.
PRINCESS ANDRESSAUp and down the land, they talk of her healing powers, her prayers that fly straight to God in Heaven.Credulity, our national character!
BROTHER TWITCHThey idolize her. But they never ask whence she received her gifts.
A long silence as Princess Andressa digests this thought.
PRINCESS ANDRESSAThat’s right. They just assume!
BROTHER TWITCHWho knows for a fact they're from God? They could be of the Evil One.
PRINCESS ANDRESSACan one ever be sure?
BROTHER TWITCH'Tis a slippery slope, Highness.
EXT. AT THE WATER'S EDGE - DAY
Daybreak. Crack of a whip.
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HIGG (O.S.)Pull, horse! Come on, pull!
Plug & Stork's Horses, emerging from the reeds, strain on a thick rope dragging a heavy, as-yet-unseen object. Crack!
HIGG (CONT'D)Pull, horse! Pull!
The Croc's tail emerges, then the trunk, finally the head. Higg, LaVella, Saba & Amlak regard the huge reptile, feet pointed up. Saba wears Amlak’s coat to cover her nakedness.
SABAHorribly ugly. Sure it's dead?
AMLAKVery dead. Seems it choked on a certain, very chokable object.
TIN MAN (O.S.)(Muffled)
Help! Get me out!
Amlak pulls a big hunting knife from a sheath.
AMLAKYou don't have to watch this.
TIN MAN (O.S.)Get me out of here!
EXT. THE ABBEY GROUNDS AT THE 7TH STATION OF THE CROSS - DAY
Brother Yakob kneels at a bas-relief of Jesus falling under the soldiers' whips. Brother Twitch approaches, kneels.
BROTHER TWITCHI sought you in the chapel.
BROTHER YAKOBSister Christa has it as her private suite. She eats in there, sleeps in there - -
BROTHER TWITCHLevitates in there?
BROTHER YAKOBIt's depressing.
BROTHER TWITCHThe Princess wants you to know she remembers the night in your arms.She uses words like "magical," "indescribable," "breathtaking." She looks to more such nights.
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BROTHER YAKOBShe does?
BROTHER TWITCHAnd she looks to deeds from you to match your prowess in bed.
BROTHER YAKOBDeeds?
BROTHER TWITCHLet me posit a philosophic thesis. Resolved: the Queen's powers come not from God but from Satan.
BROTHER YAKOBGood Lord! Be careful, man!
BROTHER TWITCHIf Sister Christa’s name were submitted for sainthood, the churchwould apply rigorous tests. They’d ask the same: of God or Satan?
BROTHER YAKOBYes, but - -
BROTHER TWITCHSomeone needs to move the debate forward, while there is still some sanity left in this credulous kingdom. That someone is you.
Brother Twitch stands, makes ready to leave.
BROTHER TWITCH (CONT'D)She regards you as her only hope.
Brother Twitch waddles off. Brother Yakob watches him go, then turns to look up at the mosaic.
BROTHER YAKOB'S VISION
Brother Yakob, in a loincloth and crown of thorns, staggers under the weight of a heavy crossbeam. Princess Andressa, ina Roman Soldier’s armor, brings the whip down hard.
BACK TO SCENE
Brother Yakob cries out as if being lashed, then opens his eyes as if coming out of a nightmare. Two Monks staring at him. He stands, straightens his robe, scurries off.
EXT. AT THE WATER'S EDGE - DAY
The Croc's gut is split open. Tin Man, covered in slime, stands dripping as Amlak pulls out body parts.
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TIN MANLook at me! I'm covered in slime!
Amlak pulls out two legs, still joined at the pelvis.
TIN MANYou hear me? Slime!
Amlak pulls out a head, crushed, still with its hair.
TIN MANSlime! Slime and gore!
Amlak pulls out another head, this one not crushed.
TIN MANSlime and gore! And ooze! Can you believe it? Ooze!
AMLAKWill you stop it? You got a little ooze on you. Go wash it off.
Tin Man looks for support, sees none, disappears amongst thereeds, muttering. LaVella picks up a bitten and chewed head.
LAVELLAWasn't this the small one's head?
Saba snatches it and holds it as she would a baby.
SABAHe had a name! Plug! He was gentle and kind! He died horribly and unfulfilled! Can't you understand that? Can't you show some respect?
Saba bursts into tears. She runs up the hill toward the camp. Amlak watches her go. He can't take his eyes off her.
INT. THE TENT AT THE ENCAMPMENT – TEN MINUTES LATER
Saba packing. LaVella enters. Saba glares at her.
SABAWell, come on, help me pack. You want me out of here, don't you?
LAVELLAI told Higg not to bring you. I wasright. One little thing, you fold right up. Poor Redhead! Thinks she’s the only one who’s suffering!
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SABAEvery man I've been with is dead. Prince. Stork. Plug. I feel like the kiss of death. You? You don't feel anything. You're the ice lady.
LAVELLAI'm not ice.
SABAOh please! You treat Higg like a servant. You bark out commands likeyou’re a drill sergeant or - -
LAVELLASomeone has to! Higg can't. You won't. But it's not easy. Since theGypsy said they’re looking for three others, I've had nightmares of men coming with warrants. Men with hard faces and rough hands.
A look of fear crosses Saba's face.
SABAIt's your imagination. Bad dream.
LAVELLAIt’s real. I can almost touch them.
LaVella stops. A wary look crosses her face.
LAVELLA (CONT'D)I shouldn't’ve told you. Please don't tell Higg.
Higg sticks his head in through the flap.
HIGGSay girls, I was thinking - -
SABAThis is a private conversation.
Higg's jaw drops, his eyes dart back and forth.
LAVELLADidn't you hear her? We're having aprivate conversation.
He exits. Silence. Just a hint of a smile on LaVella's face.
EXT. SOLAR SYSTEM - DAY
A black sky. In foreground, MARS. The SUN, a bright star. Near the Sun, the EARTH, a blue disk. A SPACESHIP powers into view. On its hull, an official-looking insignia.
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INT. A COMPARTMENT SOMEWHERE IN THE SPACESHIP - DAY
A glowing PLEXIGLAS CHAMBER. Visible within, KRONA, 50, regal-looking. She sleeps. ALARM sounds. Overhead lights switch on. The Chamber opens. A vapor slowly rises. Sounds of sneezing, gagging. Krona's shaky hand emerges. Two humanlike robot ATTENDANTS rush up with breathing tubes.
ATTENDANTRelax, Lady Krona. Breathe.
KRONA(Through coughs)
Is my husband awake yet?
ATTENDANTCount Nadal is up and about.
KRONAAnd Amlak, my son?
ATTENDANTWe're still a day out.
Krona sits up. She takes a deep breath from the tube.
KRONAI hope time has softened his heart.
She looks toward a corner, where there's a glowing, coffin-like chamber. Visible within, TRE'DEAN, red hair, beautiful,a softer, whiter, thinner robotic version of Saba.
KRONA (CONT'D)Have the techs activate Tre'Dean. Iwant her fresh and gay for Amlak.
More sneezing. The Attendants rush up. She waves them off.
INT. THE KING'S CHAMBER – DAY
Princess Andressa enters.
PRINCESS ANDRESSAWhat's the matter, Papa?
KINGNothing.
PRINCESS ANDRESSAYou're not getting your sleep.
She sits next to him on the bed.
KINGDon't feel like sleep.
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PRINCESS ANDRESSAShall I give you a massage, Papa?
He shakes his head.
KINGThat husband of yours, what's his name? Don't like how he treats you.
PRINCESS ANDRESSAI don't think he likes me.
KINGDoesn't like you? Doesn't he care?
She draws very close.
PRINCESS ANDRESSAIt's enough I care for you, Papa.
She embraces him tightly, kisses him on the lips. They slidedown onto the bed together.
EXT. A MEADOW NEAR THE WATER'S EDGE – DAY
Two fresh graves marked by crosses. Astride horses, Higg, LaVella, Amlak, Tin Man & Saba observe silence. Then...
SABAAmen.
HIGG & LAVELLAAmen.
LaVella gives the signal. They all ride off.
INT. THE BRIDGE ON KRONA'S SPACESHIP - DAY
On a monitor, Earth and the Moon. A Man, 60, practices putting on strip of artificial turf. This is NADAL. The PILOT and FIRST OFFICER, humanlike robots, man the controls.
DISPATCHER'S VOICE (O.S.)Archangel. 367 cleared to orbit.
PILOTRoger. Copy that.
Krona bursts onto the Bridge area.
KRONAWhat was that?
NADALWe're cleared to go in. We're 367.
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FIRST OFFICER363 now, Sir.
KRONA363 ships ahead of us? What are 363ships doing here?
PILOTTourism, big game hunting, fishing,golf. Golf was invented here.
KRONAGolf? Such a waste. Tell them to bump us to the front. Say who we are and have them - -
PILOTHighness, it's first come, first served. Pretty much set in stone.
KRONA(To Nadal)
I shouldn't've listened. I said send him to an in-system venue to straighten him out. You wanted tough love. So we sent him where every bucket of bolts in the systemmakes a pit stop. God knows who he's with down there as we cool ourheels behind tourists and golfers!
Krona exits, slamming the hatch behind her. Nadal shrugs.
EXT. A RIVERBANK ENCAMPMENT – NIGHT
A campfire. Higg & LaVella keep an eye on Tin Man who works the Dish controls. The Dish emits regular pings, the Monitordisplays a test pattern. Saba & Amlak sit alone looking up.
SABAThe Morning Star.
AMLAKIt's not a star.
SABAYes, it is.
AMLAKNo, it's not.
SABAS'pose you're going to say you've been there, seen it up close.
AMLAKI actually have.
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SABATypical guy. Trying to impress. Well, guess what, Typical Guy, I’m gonna keep saying it's a star. My wishing star. I see it and wish I was there instead of here. Here I'ma sad little nobody. There, I'm a queen in a shimmering gown and a handsome beau takes me to dress balls at the palace where we dance all night. You think I'm silly.
AMLAKI don't think that at all.
SABABut I'm not stupid, I know it’s a dream, I know it'll never happen.
AMLAKIt might.
SABAReally? Well, thank you, Typical Guy. You make me feel worthwhile.
AMLAKDidn't I run across two miles of brush and tall grass to rescue you?Only do that for worthwhile girls.
SABAHow’d you know I needed rescuing?
AMLAKHeard a voice.
SABAOkay. So maybe you're not so typical. I was praying, praying "Help us, someone, please!"
AMLAKI heard.
SABADidn't think I’d get an answer, didn't think I deserved it. Just before, I'd gone to sell my body. Ifelt filthy but I needed money. So now you think I'm not worthwhile?
AMLAKI'm not thinking that.
SABAReally? OK, so do me a favor. If webecome a couple, don't die on me.
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AMLAKI won't. I promise.
For the longest time, Amlak peers into her eyes and she, into his. The Dish lights up like a Christmas tree. Higg andLaVella cringe in fear. Tin Man rushes to Amlak.
TIN MANYour Mum’s on the line.
INT. THE OBSERVATION DECK ON KRONA'S SPACESHIP - NIGHT
Tre'Dean in short-shorts and a tight cutoff. Nadal has his arms around her, guiding her through a golf swing.
NADALJust us two. We'll work on your swing, get your stroke down pat.
TRE'DEANYou're sure it's okay with - -
NADALLeave her to me, darlin'.
Krona rushes in. Nadal takes his hands off just in time.
TRE'DEANGuess what? I'm going golfing!
KRONAWe made contact with - - Golfing?!?Who says you're going golfing?
TRE'DEANUncle Nate. He said that we - -
KRONAWe're not here to golf! Now come! Amlak's on the screen!
Krona grabs Tre'Dean's hand, storms out dragging her behind.
EXT. THE DOOR TO THE ABBEY CHAPEL - NIGHT
Monks hold the door open as the Queen, in nun's habit, movespast and enters. The Monks bow, close the door after her.
MONK 1A remarkable woman. A living breathing saint.
BROTHER YAKOBAren't you being premature in your estimation of her, Brother?
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MONK 2One need only see how people - -
BROTHER YAKOBWorship her?
MONK 2Not worship. They seek her healing hands, her prayers and to bask in the radiance of her sublime aura.
BROTHER YAKOBSublime aura? Healing hands? Soundslike worship to me.
They glare at him as he scurries off. They cross themselves.
EXT. CHECKPOINT ON THE KING'S HIGHWAY NEAR THE ABBEY - NIGHT
Sign illuminated by torchlight: “ABBEY - 6 MILES” A horse-drawn CART loaded with provisions halted. The DRIVER and hisWIFE stand away as SOLDIERS inspect it.
SERGEANTCarting goods to the Monks is forbidden. It’s in the new law.
DRIVERBut I took food there for years!
The Sergeant gives a signal. The Soldiers hop onto the Cart and toss the fruit and vegetables out, stomping on them.
EXT. THE RIVERBANK ENCAMPMENT – NIGHT
Higg and LaVella watch in muted awe. Tin Man works the Dish controls. The Dish rotates rapidly. The monitor displays Krona on a green background. Her lips move soundlessly.
AMLAKWhere's the sound?
TIN MANThe Moon. It’s one huge ball of electromagnetic interference.
Tre'Dean suddenly appears on the screen. She blows kisses.
SABAMy God! She looks exactly like - -
TIN MANExactly like you, doesn’t she?
Saba stares at Amlak in shock. He avoids her eyes. The
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screen starts breaking up, as Saba's anger starts to build.
TIN MANHope we get a better link tomorrow.
SABAExcuse me. I'm tired and it's late.
Saba stands and walks toward Higg and LaVella. Amlak starts to follow her. Saba stops, does not turn.
SABA (CONT'D)Please. I just want to be alone.
EXT. THE PRINCESS' BATHROOM – DAY
Door opens. Brother Twitch, exits, nearly bowling over Lord Brandon, entering in a beehive hairdo, wearing a mu'umu'u.
INT. THE PRINCESS' BATHROOM – DAY
Lord Brandon enters. Princess Andressa is taking a bubble bath. A lovely white leg extends from the soapy foam.
LORD BRANDONYou’re not screwing that thing.
She raises herself up, fixes him with a contemptuous glare.
LORD BRANDON (CONT'D)Used to tolerate him. Can't bring myself to stand him anymore. With all his fakery and whatnot. He thinks everything's a big joke.
She pulls the drain plug. She stands and begins toweling.
PRINCESS ANDRESSAI wonder where he got that notion.
LORD BRANDONThinks he's an intellectual. Probably laughs at you and me.
PRINCESS ANDRESSAYou're half right.
LORD BRANDONDamn it! Qpen your eyes! You're thePrincess! You need to take care! You let him see you naked? People will whisper about that monk - -
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PRINCESS ANDRESSAThat monk got us a spy-agitator-agent-provocateur inside the Abbey.While you've been out playing slap-and-tickle, he's been busy and now the Abbot's Number Two is with us, dispensing doubt and dismay amongstthe devotees.
They glare at each other. Lord Brandon goes into the WC and slams the door. Silence as Princess Andressa dons a robe. A scream from the WC. He runs out, waving a sheet of paper.
LORD BRANDONThis was posted in the crapularium!
She rips it from his hand. She reads.
PRINCESS ANDRESSA“Oh Princess, your legacy will stink like excrement. Lament, for all your works will end in ruin.”
LORD BRANDONWhat does it mean?
She tears it up.
PRINCESS ANDRESSAJust someone trying to scare us.
LORD BRANDONWell, someone just succeeded!
INT. A CONFERENCE ROOM AT THE ABBEY - DAY
Brother Yakob at the head of the table, addressing ten YOUNGMONKS. He closes the Bible he has just read from with a pop.
BROTHER YAKOBUnity in mind and purpose. How apt.Even today the words speak clear. Yet some persist in going their ownway. Example. Those who ascribe Christ-like attributes to Sister Christa. Is that unity?
The Young Monks eye one another as he wags a warning finger.
BROTHER YAKOB (CONT'D)It is heresy. Only Christ is holy.
INT. OUTSIDE THE OPEN DOOR TO THE ABBEY CONFERENCE ROOM
Abbot Rodolfo, accompanied by two Armed Monks, looks in as Brother Yakob wags his finger. He frowns and walks off.
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INT. A NEARBY HALLWAY IN THE ABBEY
Abbot Rodolfo and his two Armed Monks round a corner and come face-to-face with a ROYAL OFFICIAL, a RICHLY-ROBED CLERIC, and two SHANKALLAH GUARDS. They halt.
CLERICAbbot Rodolfo, you are summoned to the Archbishop to answer charges!
The Armed Monks go up to the Shankallahs, fix them with glares. The Cleric and the Royal Official become nervous.
ABBOT RODOLFOCharges? What charges?
ROYAL OFFICIALUh, hardly charges, your holiness. More like. Uh. Ambiguities.
More Armed Monks emerge from the shadows, roughly disarm theShankallahs. Abbot Rodolfo nods.
ABBOT RODOLFOSend them back to the Princess.
EXT. AN ARMY CHECKPOINT - DAY
In the distance, the Abbey walls. A SOLDIER stands watch. Sounds of a game of dice in progress somewhere. A CART comesaround the bend. The Soldier moves into the road, raises hisarm. The TEAMSTER, hooded, hunched over, reins in the horse.
SOLDIERGet down from there!
The Teamster doesn’t move.
SOLDIER (CONT'D)Carts are subject to search. By thePrincess’ order, get down!
The Teamster doesn’t move. The Soldier draws his sword.
SOLDIERYou deaf? I said, get down!
The Teamster pulls back “his” hood. It’s Princess Andressa. Four Royal SOLDIERS hidden in the bed jump out. Emamu comes out of the brush, herding three TROOPERS ahead of him.
EMAMUPlaying dice back there, Highness.
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PRINCESS ANDRESSASo my troops think it’s a holiday. I can see why the Abbey resists.
The Soldiers take coils of rope, toss nooses over a branch.
EXT. ENTERING GURRAGUEE - DAY
SUPER: GURRAGUEE, a wide-open town on the road to the Abbey
Shops, bars, lean-tos and tents snake along a dusty main street. MONKS, SOLDIERS, TRIBESMEN, SHANKALLAHS, DRUNKS & WHORES mingle as CRAFTSMEN and SHOPKEEPERS hawk wares. A MANin a pillory, "THIEF" branded on his face. Saba, Higg, LaVella, Amlak & Tin Man ride in, in hooded pilgrim robes.
TIN MANI feel ridiculous in this.
AMLAKJust go with it.
Some ZOROASTRIANS are moving furniture out of a tent, the Men in colorful tunics, the Women in belly-dancer costumes.
LAVELLAAre you vacating this spot?
A Man steps up. He's the HEAD OF THE VIGILANCE COMMITTEE.
HEAD OF VIGILANCE COMMITTEEBy Committee order, they have one hour to get out of town.
ZOROASTRIAN 1They say tools are missing. You seeany tools, Lady? I don’t see any.
ZOROASTRIAN 2They blame us. The way it is.
HEAD OF VIGILANCE COMMITTEEShut up!
LAVELLAYou looking for a new tenant?
HEAD OF VIGILANCE COMMITTEEYou got the fee, tent's yours.
SABAI think that's so wrong.
LAVELLAWhat is your problem?
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SABAProfiting on a persecuted group.
The Zoroastrians continue loading their things onto a cart.
HEAD OF VIGILANCE COMMITTEEMake up your mind, lady!
LAVELLAWe'll take it.
Saba turns her back in disgust. LaVella holds up a coin.
LAVELLAThe tables and chairs, too. A Countess' gold coin should suffice.
The Zoroastrians nod.
LAVELLA (CONT'D) Your clothes, too. We want them.
ZOROASTRIAN 2We can’t go naked, Lady.
LAVELLAYou get ours. Even trade.
INT. THE DINING HALL AT THE ABBEY – NIGHT
A hundred Monks sit at wooden tables. A BURLY MONK raps a spoon on a tankard. Sudden quiet. Abbot Rodolfo stands.
ABBOT RODOLFOI’d hoped to find you all faithful.But there’s a malignancy here which, God willing, I must excise.
The expressions on the Monks' faces turn serious.
ABBOT RODOLFO (CONT'D)For behold, a wolf is amongst us.
Brother Yakob's face turns apprehensive.
ABBOT RODOLFO (CONT'D)Not one with bared teeth but with deft argument and mannered debate.
Brother Yakob stands, edges toward the door.
ABBOT RODOLFO (CONT'D)Brother Yakob, you stand accused!
BROTHER YAKOBMe? You mean me?
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EXT. LAVELLA'S TENT IN GURRAGUEE - NIGHT
A sign: HONEST GAME INSIDE - GENTLEMEN PLAYERS ONLY!
LaVella and Saba, dressed in belly dancer getups and head scarves, click finger cymbals and castanets. Amlak emerges, in colorful garb. He posts a “TABLE FULL – CHECK BACK LATER”sign. He smiles at Saba. She snubs him.
INT. LAVELLA'S TENT IN GURRAGUEE - NIGHT
A MONK, a SOLDIER, a SHANKALLAH, Tin Man & Higg sit at a card table. Higg, puffing a cigar, has the deal and a big stack of chips. Tin Man sits across from Higg, face hidden inside his pilgrim hood with a thin cigar sticking out, Clint Eastwood style. The Soldier glares at him.
SOLDIERYour pal gives me the willies. Doesn’t talk. Just sits there.
HIGGHe's not the garrulous type, lacks the gift for gab.
The Shankallah tosses in a chip, utters a "hit me" grunt.
HIGGTwo cards for the big fella.
The Shankallah snatches them up, peeks, throws them back.
SHANKALLAHYeebakwo! Ha mehmee fwafwagun!
SOLDIERTell that boy to talk plain!
The Shankallah reaches for his chip. Higg smacks his hand.
HIGGWhoa whoa whoa, amigo! You can't take it back after you - -
The Shankallah reaches again. THUMP! The Soldier sets a clubon the table. The Shankallah growls. THUMP! The Monk sets aclub on the table. The Shankallah stops, eyes darting side to side. Suddenly, Amlak stands behind his chair.
EXT. LAVELLA'S TENT - NIGHT
LaVella & Saba jump to the side as Amlak bursts through and hurls the Shankallah into the street, landing him in sewer water. Saba's head scarf falls off in the mêlée.
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EXT. ACROSS THE STREET FROM LAVELLA'S TENT - NIGHT
The Shankallah shakes a fist at Amlak who goes back inside. From the shadows, Lank nudges Brick, nods at Saba who's putting her scarf back on. Brick takes out the nude sketch.
BRICKBingo.
INT. LAVELLA'S TENT - NIGHT
AMLAKSorry. Shouldn't've let him in.
MONKI thought the big guy made sense. I worked at a clinic on the border.Picked up a few words. And what he was saying was, this fella
(Nodding at Higg)Who’s about cleaned us out, hasn't lost a hand since he got the deal.
SOLDIERYeah! That's right! He hasn't!
MONKWhat's the secret of your success?
He lays a knife on the table. The Soldier sees trouble a-brewing, scoops up his chips, exits as Amlak comes up.
AMLAKSomething wrong?
MONKYeah, your friend there. I can't spot how he's cheating.
TIN MANHe's not cheating.
MONKWell, what do you know? Silent partner just decided to chime in.
AMLAKLook pal, if you got a beef, why don’t you take it outside and - -
Amlak starts edging behind the Monk.
MONKStay where you are. Try doing me like you did the Shankallah, I'll feed you your dick on a plate.
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Higg reaches for the pile. The Monk slaps his hand away.
MONKMoney stays! You and me’re gonna play mano-a-mano.
Tin Man shifts the cigar in his mouth.
EXT. AN OFFICE DOWN THE STREET - NIGHT
Two MISCREANTS hang from a gibbet, twisting in the wind.
Sign above door: "VIGILANCE COMMITTEE HQ"
In a HORSECART on a bed of straw, Saba & LaVella, still in bellydancer getups, lay side-by-side hogtied and gagged.
LANK (O.S.) This warrant says we represent the interests of the Princess Andressa.
INT. VIGILANCE COMMITTEE HQ - NIGHT
The Head Of The Vigilance Committee looks up. His ASSISTANT peeks out from behind a barred window at Lank & Brick.
LANKWe just arrested two women in the stabbing death of Prince Andreas.
HEAD OF VIGILANCE COMMITTEEWomen murderers? Here in Gurraguee?
BRICKHalf block up at a poker tent.
EXT. A LARGE OPEN FIELD AT THE ABBEY – NIGHT
Chanting Monks march toward a huge cross, firewood stacked at its base. They divide into two ranks, an aisle between. Two Monks lead a third, hooded & bound, up the aisle and secure him to the cross. From the shadows Abbot Rodolfo emerges, removes the hood to reveal Brother Yakob.
ABBOT RODOLFOBrother, look to your soul. For us,you no longer exist on this Earth.
He drops a torch at the base. The cross is engulfed.
EXT. THE ARMY CHECKPOINT - NIGHT
Fire lights the sky. The distant sound of chanting Monks.
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Bodies of the four Soldiers swing from a tree. Four scared REPLACEMENT SOLDIERS stand watch under the eye of Princess Andressa. Two horses round the bend. Mounted on them are theCleric and the Royal Official, naked, tied facing backwards.
PRINCESS ANDRESSAAll right, Abbot. You win round one. But a fight is ten rounds.
INT. LAVELLA'S TENT BACK IN GURRAGUEE - NIGHT
The Monk lies dead at the wall of the tent, a hole blown through his midsection leaving a huge, gaping, bloody wound.
HEAD OF VIGILANCE COMMITTEEThis smells of the work of the two men sent by the Princess.
ASSISTANTThe Princess! Now there’s a devil!
HEAD OF VIGILANCE COMMITTEEMind your tongue, man!
EXT. THE MAIN ROAD OUT OF GURRAGUEE - NIGHT
Higg, Amlak & Tin Man drive a stolen Horsecart at lickety-split speed past the city limits sign. Higg sits in back.
AMLAKReally slick! Virtuoso performance!
TIN MANI didn't know it'd make that big a hole!
AMLAKYou're programmed to know!
TIN MANGuess I screwed up!
AMLAKYou sure did! Big time!
HIGGWill you two stop?
TIN MANI'm getting nothing on the girls.
AMLAKKid said they went this way with two men.
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HIGGMaybe they changed direction.
TIN MANIf I could just pick up the finger cymbals. The castanets. Any metal!
EXT. DEAD AHEAD IN A GROVE OF TREES - NIGHT
SUPER: Not far ahead
A blazing campfire. LaVella & Saba, naked, hanging by their thumbs, stand on tiptoes on a flat rock. Saba whispers.
SABAJust don't make them mad.
LAVELLA(Loud voice)
Oh, you mean like don't say how ugly or smelly or stupid they are?
SABAShhhh!!!!
BRICKHey! Shut up over there!
LAVELLAHey, you shut up, Jack!
SABAOh God, now you've done it!
LANKYou know the trouble you're in? ThePrincess’ll be dealing with you. Sobe nice. We’re in tight with her.
LAVELLADumb & Dumber in tight with the Princess? Don't make me laugh!
LANKListen! You zip your lip!
LAVELLANo, you listen! You made a big mistake! You're messing with the wrong chicks!
SABAOh God! Please shut up, LaVella. She doesn't mean it, Sir!
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LAVELLAAnd another thing, my man's connected with some really scary people. When he hears - -
SABAShe's hallucinating. She's making up stories. She's - -
LAVELLAWhen he hears, he'll hunt you down.You, your big dumb pal there, your whole loser family. Everyone you know'll end up on chain gangs shovelling elephant crap, capish?
LANKBurning your bridges, sister!
LAVELLAJust getting started. Want a piece of me? Take your best shot!
Lank takes a nasty-looking set of tongs, advances on them.
SABAOh please, Sir, don't hurt her! Help us, somebody! Please!
EXT. NOT FAR AWAY - NIGHT
AMLAKI heard something! Cry for help.
TIN MANWhere? What direction?
AMLAKCan’t tell. Too faint.
EXT. DEAD AHEAD – NIGHT
LANKYou first, Redhead!
Lank snaps the gripping jaws. Saba screams as LaVella balances on her toes and aims a kick. Suddenly CLINK! Lank stops, looks down. He picks up an object on the flat rock.
LANKLook what just fell from the sky.
He holds up the Prince’s gold coin.
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EXT. NOT FAR AWAY - NIGHT
TIN MANI heard a clink.
AMLAKWhere? What direction?
TIN MANDead ahead. And close.
EXT. DEAD AHEAD – NIGHT
LAVELLADang! Forgot it was there!
SABAPassport to the Queen. Gone!
Suddenly, sound of a man singing. A spectre-like being appears in the trees coming closer with what looks to be ahead of fire. Then Higg, lighted torch in his hand, burstsinto the clearing. He’s dressed like a man of means.
HIGGAh! There they are! Thank you, gentlemen! Thank you for locating my slave girls. I was worried sick.
Higg sets the torch in a holder, walks toward the Girls like he owns the place. Lank & Brick step up to block him.
LANKHold it right there! They aren't your girls. They’re traitors! They’re government property now.
HIGGTraitors? Ridiculous!
Lank holds up the gold coin as proof of their guilt.
HIGG (CONT'D)Oh double good! You found my coin. I’ve been looking high and low. (Wags finger at LaVella)Stealing your master’s gold coin. Wait till I get you home, girl!
Brick grabs hold of Higg.
BRICKThat coin was the Prince’s. Where’dthe likes of you get hold of it?
Higg jerks his arm away.
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HIGG If you must know, I got it from theCountess.
BRICKA Countess in this? I thought the Prince only fancied serving girls.
LANKWait a minute! Stop! This fellow’s feeding us a line. Weren't there three in the plot?
BRICKYeah. These two plus this one wouldmake. Uh. One plus two is. Uh.
LANKThree!
BRICKRight. Three.
Higg hangs his head.
HIGGAll right. Yes. I admit it. You win. You’re too clever for me.
Brick picks up a chain with cuffs and shackles attached. He advances on Higg, who calmly takes out three cigars.
HIGG (CONT'D) Before we get to the legalities, why not have a friendly smoke?
BRICKSmoke?
HIGG A civilized thing. I’ve these fine cigars from a Duke up north for services rendered. He said light up“when you’re with the right people.” Now’s as good as any.
Higg holds out the cigars.
LANKGuess it can’t hurt.
BRICKHe did surrender peaceably.
HIGGAnd you gentlemen are just doing your job. No hard feelings.
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LANKYou’re taking this unusually well.
Lank and Brick each take a cigar. They light up.
EXT. THE ABBEY – NIGHT
Just outside the Abbey walls, MONKS feverishly engage in sharpening swords, cutting logs into posts with sharp points, building earthwork fortifications and ramparts. Across a vast open field, ROYAL SOLDIERS man a checkpoint.Nearby, two ST. ANDREW’S CROSSES made of 4-by-4 beams.
EXT. A MILITARY PARADE GROUND – NIGHT
Torches light up a raised platform. Two canvas-covered larger-than-life STATUES on the platform.
SERGEANT’S VOICE (O.S.) Compan-NEE! Atten-HUT!
Princess Andressa, in gleaming armor, steps to the podium.
PRINCESS ANDRESSAAt ease!
Sounds of men coming to “at ease.”
PRINCESS ANDRESSA (CONT'D)We’re the ones following the rules,going by the letter of the law, turning the other cheek. What’s it got us? Resistance. Rebellion. Ridicule. Behind those abbey walls,she’s laughing, laughing at me, laughing at you. I’m at my wit’s end, boys. Tell me what you think.
SOLDIER 1 (O.S.) Strangle the bitch!
SOLDIER 2 (O.S.) You’ve been too damn easy on her!
Brother Twitch gives the ropes attached to the canvases a jerk. The coverings fall. The Soldiers behold godlike statues of Prince Andreas and Princess Andressa.
EXT. IN THE GROVE OF TREES – NIGHT
Lank & Brick are at the campfire, giggling uncontrollably.LaVella & Saba still hang by their thumbs. Higg watches.
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BRICKIt was like shink, shink, shink.
LANKNo. It was koosh, koosh, koosh.
BRICKI think I know what milking a cow sounds like. Now can I please finish the story for Mr Higg? It was St Francis Day when they bless the animals an' the Bishop's at thePrince’s estate in his robes and shepherd’s staff. He’s in the corral with the chickens and goats,having a grand old time. Now mind you, the cow’s a skittish one, loses control easily. Farmhand’s a joker. He’s milking her carefully, with the milk going shink, shink, shink in the bucket, watching out of the corner of his eye - -
LANKOh yes! This is where the bish - -
BRICKWill you not give it away? The Bishop’s chasing a nanny goat to sprinkle her with holy water and ashe runs behind the cow, the farmhand starts working the udders.
(He demonstrates)The cow’s tail goes taut, it gives out a loud MOOOO and SPLAT! His robe’s covered in wet cow - -
Brick laughs.
LANKShot out horizontal. Nearly knockedhim down. He was covered with - -
Lank laughs.
BRICKAnd then a woman shouts, “Serves you right for the shit you dish outat Mass, you old fart!”
HIGGHow’s the cigar?
BRICKOh, it went out. Forgot I had it.
Brick & Lank burst into giggles again as Amlak and Tin Man
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emerge from the shadows. Amlak begins untying Saba.
INT. THE BRIDGE ON KRONA'S SPACESHIP - DAY
Nadal putts. The Pilot & the First Officer man the controls.
DISPATCHER'S VOICE (O.S.)You're number 36 for descent.
NADALHow long before we’re number one?
FIRST OFFICERAbout seven minutes. You should getto the Lander, get strapped in.
PILOTTime to wake Her Highness.
NADALBelay that.
The Pilot takes his finger off the call button. Nadal takes a small GREEN CYLINDER, opens it, punches in the data and slides it into a tube. He presses a button.
EXT. KRONA’S SPACESHIP - DAY
Below, the blue of the Mediterrranean and Egypt’s coastline.Fwoop! The Green Cylinder launches from a tube. A tiny rocket engine ignites and powers it down toward the surface.
INT. ABBOT RODOLFO'S PRIVATE STUDY - DAY
The Monk in the chef's apron holds up four fingers.
ABBOT RODOLFO Four days. If we ration, maybe - -
The Monk shakes his head.
MONK IN CHEF'S APRONThey're not stopping pilgrims. They're not letting any leave. Number of hungry mouths increases by the hour.
The Abbot's face turns ashen.
ABBOT RODOLFO (CONT'D)Time to tell Sister Christa.
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EXT. THE HIGH DESERT - DAY
The Green Cylinder hugs the surface like a cruise missile. It passes high over the Gypsy campsite. Then it drops down, passes over the swimming hole and rockets on.
EXT. THE ARMY CHECKPOINT - DAY
A WAGON comes into view, displaying garish colors and gay ornamentation. In the driver's seat, Lank & Brick sway back and forth. Lank, in a red headband, flashes a peace sign.
LANKHey amigos! Qué pasa?
SOLDIERWhat the hell is that?!1
As it draws close, a painted sign: “MAKE LOVE, NOT WAR.”
EXT. ENTERING THE STRATOSPHERE - DAY
A LANDER powers down into Earth’s atmosphere. The heat shield covering the hull and wings bursts into flames.
INT. LANDER PASSENGER COMPARTMENT - DAY
The ship shudders, bounces, shakes. Strapped into a seat, Nadal has Tre'Dean on his lap. He hugs her close and his free hand reaches inside her hot pants. She swoons.
EXT. LAVELLA'S ENCAMPMENT – DAY
Tin Man stands, glaring at the Dish.
TIN MANIt’s not working.
AMLAKIt was fine yesterday.
TIN MANWell, it's not fine now.
Grumbling, Tin Man slides open the back panel. He stares at a jumble of wires and switches and whatnot.
TIN MAN (CONT'D)Could be anything. Heat sink. Expansion board. You name it.
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AMLAKWhat do you want me to do about it?
TIN MANYou know, I can’t wait till we get back home and your Mum assigns you some position of authority. I want to see their faces when you give them that blank stare and say, “Well, what do you want me to do?” I can just imagine the confidence that will engender in - -
Amlak, in a rage, grabs Tin Man’s neck as if to choke him.
SABA (O.S.)What the hell are you doing?
As Saba runs up, Amlak realizes he’s been trying to strangle a robot. He releases Tin Man. Embarrassed, Amlak & Tin Man turn their backs to one another.
AMLAKSorry.
TIN MANIt’s all right. No damage.
SABAWhat’s the problem?
TIN MANDish isn’t functioning.
AMLAKFirst thing he did was take it out on me.
TIN MANDid not.
AMLAKDid too.
They start pushing. Saba jumps in, separates them.
SABAStop it! Both of you!
(To Tin Man)Can it be fixed?
TIN MANProbably. It’ll take time.
SABAThen why don’t you get on with it?
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He looks at Amlak who gives him a “you heard the lady” nod. Tin Man glares and, grumbling, gets on with it.
SABA (CONT'D)As for you, Typical Guy, I’m givingyou a second chance.
She turns and walks away. Amlak watches her, dumbfounded. A sonic boom. The Dish shakes, then begins to rotate and ping. The monitor displays a “PLEASE STAND BY” graphic.
INT. THE CHAPEL AT THE ABBEY – DAY
Sunlight through stained glass. At the altar, a lifesize Mary statue bathed in light. In the center aisle, below the dome, a plank bed with broken bits of glass and sharp-edged pebbles. Sound of a door opening. Abbot Rodolfo enters. He looks up as the Queen floats just below the dome.
ABBOT RODOLFO Your Grace, we seem to be having some. Ah. Difficulties.
A sonic boom. The Chapel shakes, the chandeliers swing.
EXT. THE ABBEY GROUNDS – NIGHT
Armed Monks point at the Checkpoint. They see two “Monks” nailed to the St Andrew’s Crosses. They seem to be alive.
MONKGood Lord! The poor bastards.
EXT. ARMY CHECKPOINT – THE SAME MOMENT
We see the faces of the “Monks:” Lank & Brick. Nails have been driven into them. Emamu pulls the hoods down over their faces. He unrolls a paper, holds it to the light.
INSERT: the sheet of paper
The nude sketch of Saba.
BACK TO SCENE
Emamu smiles, licks his lips, walks to his horse.
INT. A TENT AT LAVELLA'S ENCAMPMENT – DAY
Higg asleep on a rug in the tent. He licks his lips and smiles as if having a pleasant dream. Suddenly, shadows and shuffling of feet. Higg opens his eyes. Looming over him are
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Saba, LaVella & Tin Man. LaVella nods. Tin Man stoops, gripsHigg’s lower right leg. A bone snaps. Higg screams.
LAVELLAI'm sorry, Higg. I really am.
Higg curls into a fetal position, gritting his teeth and gripping his leg. Saba & Tin Man exit the tent.
LAVELLA (CONT'D)We’ll talk later. You need rest.
LaVella exits.
HIGGOh God, it hurts. Hey! You can’t break a guy’s leg and just leave.
EXT. LAVELLA'S ENCAMPMENT – DAY
Tin Man works the controls, the Dish emitting a healthy ping. Plop! The Green Cylinder lands at his feet. He picksit up, turns it over in his hand.
EXT. A VAST GREENBELT NOT FAR AWAY – DAY
From somewhere close, a ka-chunk ka-chunk ka-chunk sound. Rolling hills stretch where FOURSOMES play golf. On eitherside of the links, HELOS and LANDERS are parked in neat rows, engines idling. WORKERS load/unload cargo.
EXT. THE THIRD GREEN - DAY
Tre'Dean, in hotpants, bare midriff tanktop and a cute hat, makes ready to putt. WITCH 1 tends the flag. Nadal sits in agolf cart next to WITCH 2, her fingers on a prayer bracelet.
NADALNarrow your stance. Point the toes in. Lock the knees. Minimize weightshift. Stabilize body movement.
TRE'DEANI can't remember all that!
NADAL(To Witch 2)
Do what I'm payin’ you to do. Tell me what you see in her.
Witch 1 throws back her head and closes her eyes.
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WITCH 2Do men seek delight in Their déclining yearsAnd take a young lassie For randy good cheer?
Oh see the young maidens, All dressed in a row They wiggle, they jiggle, They cross their legs so.
And it should be easyOr so I've been toldTo reach out and pluck one To have and to hold
To take her back home for To warm up the bed To huggle and snuggle And give you good head.
But this one’s no maiden No flesh-and-bones, she Her brain’s positronic Her heart’s PCB.
Her gut’s made of plasticHer skin’s neoprene A wire runs through her. She’s just a machine!
So walk away, Nadal Go back to your wife A robot won't cheer you Or light up your life.
NADALGet out of my cart.
WITCH 2Why? I did what you asked.
NADALDidn’t say to dash my hopes! Out!
Witch 2 scrambles out, turns to Nadal with a hateful glare, as Tre'Dean's ball rolls toward the hole. She mutters some words and the ball screeches to a halt inches from the cup.
EXT. AT CREEKSIDE NEAR LAVELLA'S ENCAMPMENT – DAY
Tin Man & Amlak come up as Saba washes. Amlak has the Green Cylinder. He stays back. Tin Man clears his throat.
SABAHow’s Higg?
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TIN MANCoping.
SABAI’m thinking maybe we shouldn’t have done that to him.
TIN MANThere’re simpler strategies for seeing the Queen besides breaking aleg to produce a crippled guy.
SABAWhat’s with your pal?
TIN MANHe wants a favor.
SABACan’t ask me himself?
TIN MANHe figures if he doesn’t ask, he doesn’t get rejected.
EXT. LAVELLA'S ENCAMPMENT JUST OUTSIDE HER TENT – DAY
Higg, his lower leg in a wood brace, tries the crutches.
HIGGI should be telling you go to hell.
LAVELLAYou’re right.
HIGGAfter all I’ve done. Putting up with your nagging, your insults, your obsession to be in charge.
LAVELLAYou’re right.
HIGGAnyone else would have dumped you.
LAVELLAYou’re right.
Higg slips, almost falls.
HIGGWhy're you standing there? Help me!
EXT. A WOODED RIDGE WITHIN SIGHT OF THE ABBEY – NIGHT
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A moonlit hillside. Distant singing, coming closer. PEASANTS, male, female, young, old, appear at the crest and descend toward the Abbey. They carry baskets of fruit, lead goats and sheep. They sing a hymn in praise of the Queen. Asthey emerge from the woods into the open field, they close ranks and march toward the drawbridge. The Soldiers at the Army Checkpoint scatter and run.
EXT. THE ROYAL OBSERVATORY – NIGHT
A domed structure. The Royal Carriage arrives. Princess Andressa steps out. Brother Twitch greets her. She turns aside to speak to an evil-looking Man. This is the DESPERADO. We can’t hear what is said. He bows and leaves.
INT. THE ROYAL OBSERVATORY – NIGHT
Occult scrawls on the walls. Princess Andressa sits, the King beside her. Lord Brandon stands behind. A clear dome opens to the sky. Directly below stand Brother Twitch and GRUPPLE, shrouded in black, seemingly in a trance.
PRINCESS ANDRESSAWhat do you have, Brother Twitch?
BROTHER TWITCHMuch, Lady. My colleague, Grupple, has studied the salient aspects. He’s discerned an impending event.
Grupple abruptly comes out of his trance.
GRUPPLEMicrones kudos ba! Sa cessna kaeding sebastie dildo cisco1! Losangel brit cardasshi - -
BROTHER TWITCHThe Queen’s. Uh, Sister Christa’s star is entering a sector of problematic complexities.
LORD BRANDONProblematic complexities? What the deuce does that even mean?
Grupple points a warning finger at Lord Brandon.
GRUPPLECrosche bigtit pardek! Bloomcou - -
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BROTHER TWITCHI'll tell it. It starts with a dream. The dreamer finds himself ina pasture of fat sheep. The moon burns like a desert sun. An ominousstillness. A skin-and-bones tigressappears. She bites the neck of a lamb. The bite turns the lamb into a hideously deformed creature. Thena voice. A snake, wrapped around a shepherd’s staff, shrieks, "Stop the darkness!"
GRUPPLEDigits! Rachmani ohwell!
BROTHER TWITCHExactly! Flock is the kingdom. No doubt. Tigress represents Sister Christa. How do we know? First, her clan totem is the jungle cat. In addition, Grupple has divined she was a tiger in a past life.
LORD BRANDONMy my. How convenient that.
BROTHER TWITCHThe deformed lamb represents the harm done by her faction. As for the snake, recall in pagan times, our kings were attended by augurs who consulted sacred snakes.
PRINCESS ANDRESSAAnd the darkness?
GRUPPLEPsycho motherof!
BROTHER TWITCHThere will be a battle. You must fight it. It's your only hope.
PRINCESS ANDRESSABut will I win?
Brother Twitch turns to Grupple. Grupple shrugs.
BROTHER TWITCHSigns point to yes, but - -
LORD BRANDONYou believe this hokus-pokus?
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BROTHER TWITCHGrupple says the next few days willbe a struggle between light
(Indicates King & Princess)And light’s absence. Between good
(Again gestures toward them)And good’s absence. The darkness will seek to embed itself deep intothe Kingdom's fabric and expunge all that is true, good and beautiful. Believe it!
Lord Brandon claps mockingly.
LORD BRANDONOh bravo! Bravo! Good show, BrotherTwitch! You had us going there.
Princess Andressa looks at the King. He nods.
PRINCESS ANDRESSATell us more.
LORD BRANDONOh now wait. You two aren’t actually embracing this quackery.
She claps her hands once. Emamu appears out of nowhere, drags Lord Brandon out. Grupple laughs like a hyena.
EXT. ON A PATH NEAR A DENSE TREELINE – DAY
A faint ka-chunk ka-chunk ka-chunk comes from beyond the treeline. Amlak halts. He takes out the Green Cylinder.
AMLAKPromise you won't leave me, no matter what.
SABAWhy?
AMLAKJust don't.
SABAThe favor's that I stand by you?
Amlak nods. He stares at the treeline, shivers.
SABA (CONT'D)Something out there scares you.
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Amlak glares at her. He takes the Cylinder, throws it away. A look of resolve on his face, he resumes walking. Saba and Tin Man follow. They approach the trees.
AMLAKWalk beside me.
Saba does.
AMLAK (CONT'D)Take my hand.
Saba does. He takes a deep breath, silently counts to three. They step into the treeline. They vanish as the ka-chunk ka-chunk ka-chunk seems to swallow them.
INT. THE MASTER BEDROOM ON KRONA'S SPACESHIP - DAY
A dimmed bulkhead light illuminates the chamber. Krona sleeps. A meal, untouched, rests on a stand by the bed.
EXT. THE THIRTEENTH FAIRWAY – DAY
The ka-chunk ka-chunk ka-chunk sound is louder as Amlak, Saba & Tin Man emerge from the treeline. Saba gasps in wonder at the Golf Foursomes, the Helos and Landers and the FLYING MEN. She crosses herself, sinks to her knees.
SABAOh Lord! It's God and His Angels!
AMLAKNot God. Just my uncle and ten thousand of his closest friends.
Amlak raises Saba as a humanlike robot ARMED GUARD floats down and blocks their way.
ARMED GUARDSorry, Sir. You’re in a secure zone. Permitted personnel only.
AMLAKI’m here to see my Uncle Nadal.
The Armed Guard does not move. Two other robot ARMED GUARDS float down.
ARMED GUARDThen you'd have a permit.
AMLAKI had it. I seem to’ve misplaced it. Can't you check with my uncle?
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ARMED GUARDSorry, Sir. Suggest you go find thepermit and return.
At which point, Saba holds up the Green Cylinder.
SABAI have it. You threw it away. I picked it up.
She hands it to the Armed Guard.
ARMED GUARDI’ll advise your uncle you’re here.
The Robots rise into the air and fly off.
EXT. ON THE MAIN ROAD TO THE ABBEY - DAY
Lavella drives the horse cart slowly. Higg lies in the bed in back, the brace on his leg. A bump.
HIGGOWWW! Careful, dammit!
LAVELLADoing the best I can!
HIGGJust be careful.
LAVELLAWe’ll be at the Abbey soon.
Lavella scans the ridge, sees SOLDIERS descending. She sees they've spotted her. She urges the horses on lickety-split.
HIGGWhat are you doing? Slow down! OWWW! THAT HURTS! OWWWWWWWWW!
INT. A SHUTTLE FLYING LOW OVER THE GOLF RESORT – DAY
A human-like ROBOT pilots the Shuttle. Saba, frightened out of her wits, grips the seat, her knuckles turning white.
TIN MANI got his blocking scheme.
AMLAKWhat?
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TIN MANPilot’s operating system is a new release. He thinks he's hot shit, he's got me on blocking mode.
AMLAKSo?
TIN MANSo I scoped him out and I’m gonna hack the bastard.
AMLAKYou're not hacking him.
TIN MANI am hacking his ass!
AMLAKWhat if you hack him and he loses control and kills us all?
TIN MANOh, so you think I don't know how, think I don't have control?
AMLAKControl? Excuse me? Like back when you tried to stun that monk and ended up blowing a hole in his gut?
Tin Man considers this.
TIN MANOK. Point taken. This time I won't.
AMLAKThank God!
TIN MANDoesn't mean I couldn't, though.
The Shuttle waggles its wings. Saba looks about to vomit.
AMLAKHanging in there, Girl?
EXT. ON THE GREEN WHERE UNCLE NADAL STANDS – DAY
A high engine whine as the Shuttle descends.
EXT. THE ABANDONED ARMY CHECKPOINT NEAR THE ABBEY – DAY
The Queen, on horseback, regards the corpses of Lank &
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Brick. She raises Lank's hood as Armed Monks rush up.
MONK IN COMMANDYou must not expose yourself so!
QUEENWho was he?
She raises Brick's hood. A Monk presses forward. It's the Assistant of the Vigilance Committee, now a Monk.
ASSISTANTI remember him. He was no monk. He came with another man. They had warrants from the Princess.
She raises Lank's hood again.
ASSISTANT (CONT'D)That’s the other. They had two women tied to the Prince's murder.
QUEENMurder? My son Andreas murdered?We were told his death was a tragicmishap. Now you say it was murder?
The Assistant sinks to his knees.
ASSISTANTBefore I defected, I clerked in Gurraguee. These men had nabbed thewomen at a gaming tent. The older had blonde hair and a hard face. The younger was a red-headed beauty. They got my supervisor’s signature. After which, they left.
MONK IN COMMANDAnd that was the end?
ASSISTANTNo. We went to the tent. We found amonk there with a hole in him big enough to push a melon through. Blood everywhere. I ran off.
Grunting and wheezing, a MAN in a pilgrim's cloak pushes up and lunges at the Queen. The Armed Monks cut him down. They pull his hood back. It is the Desperado. The Queen’s sleeve is cut. There's a trickle of blood.
MONK IN COMMANDWe need to get you to safety. There's danger everywhere.
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Just then Lavella's horse cart comes into view.
LAVELLASoldiers! Soldiers coming!
The Abbey bells ring danger. A Monk on the rampart blows the alarm. All run toward the open drawbridge.
EXT. ON THE GREEN WHERE UNCLE NADAL STANDS – DAY
Amlak, Saba & Tin Man stand at the edge of the green. The Shuttle flies away. On the green, Nadal lines up a putt.
CADDY (O.S.)Excuse me. May I help you?
A humanlike robot dressed like a CADDY appears out of nowhere. He speaks in a golf announcer’s semi-whisper.
AMLAKI’m here to see my Uncle Nadal.
The Caddy gestures Amlak to lower his voice.
AMLAK (CONT'D)He’s expecting me.
CADDYYou’ll have to wait. He’s busy.
(Indicates Saba)And who might “she” be?
AMLAKShe's with me.
The Caddy makes a big deal out of checking his clipboard.
CADDYSorry, I don't see her here. Look, sweetheart, you need a chippy, theyhave a list at the clubhouse. All certified for your protection. Someof the local girls just aren’t - -
SABAChippy? What’s he talking about?
AMLAK(Raising his voice)
Sir, I'll have you know this lady is not a quote chippy unquote. Quite the contrary, she's my wife!
SABAWife?
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CADDYWife.
Amlak nods the nod of an insulted customer.
CADDY (CONT'D)Very sorry, sir. She's not on the pre-printed guest list. I'll make apen-and-ink amendment forthwith.
AMLAKSee that you do!
Caddy exits. A shout and grin from Nadal.
NADALGlad you came, Boy. Gimme a minute to sink this and we’ll talk. Help yourself at the bar.
TRE'DEAN (O.S.)Hi, Amlak.
Amlak, Saba and Tin Man turn to see Tre’Dean, in her sexy outfit and cap, manning a portable, outdoor bar.
TRE'DEAN Coffee, tea or...?
Tre’Dean assumes a sexy pose and giggles. Saba stares forthe longest time at Tre’Dean, then turns to Amlak.
SABAUm. So as husband and wife, have wedone any serious consummating yet?
EXT. AN OPEN COURTYARD INSIDE THE ABBEY – DAY
The Monks surround LaVella's horse cart.
ASSISTANTThat's her for sure! There was the young one with the red hair and there was this one.
MONK IN COMMANDYou say she killed the Prince?
ASSISTANTNo. They say she did. They were taking her to torture and burn her.
The Monk in Command gives a signal. Rough hands jerk them out of the wagon.
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INT. KRONA'S MASTER BEDROOM - DAY
Krona’s eyes suddenly open wide. She sits up. She presses a call button.
EXT. THE OPEN COURTYARD – DAY
LaVella & Higg on their knees at spearpoint. The Monk in Command holds up the Prince's gold coin.
LAVELLASir, we have a message for the Queen, secret for her ears only.
MONK IN COMMANDSave it for the torture chamber, which is where you’re going.
Two burly Monks lay rough hands on them.
HIGGCareful of the leg, lads. OWWW!
EXT. PRINCESS ANDRESSA’S CAMP – DAY
Rows of TENTS. SOLDIERS doing tasks: sharpening swords, cooking meals, repairing wagons. A Man in stocks: “COWARD" branded on his forehead. Sound of fists on a punching bag.
GENERAL (O.S.)My Lady, I urge you to reconsider.
INT. PRINCESS ANDRESSA’S TENT – DAY
Princess Andressa works up a sweat on a punching bag. Emamu holds the bag steady for her. ADVISORS, PRIESTS, JESTERS, SOOTHSAYERS, FLATTERERS and COURTIERS look on.
PRINCESS ANDRESSANo! I want action! Direct assault!
GENERALA direct assault would cost how many dead and wounded? The troops are raw. They need more training.
PRINCESS ANDRESSAAssault it! Break it!
GENERALIf it doesn’t break? What then?
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PRINCESS ANDRESSAIt'll break. Before the assault, wesend out the Giant Emamu to issue achallenge to single combat. It willdemoralize them. You don't approve?
GENERALNot an orthodox tactic, My Lady.
PRINCESS ANDRESSANo, it's not.
She finishes on the bag. He moves to a table with a scale model of the Abbey. She follows, towelling herself.
GENERALWe'll have to cross the open space here, then ford the moat here on portable bridges, then scale the walls here. The last fifty yards are hardest, on foot,going up ladders in the teeth of a hailstorm of stones and arrows.Number of dead will be massive.
PRINCESS ANDRESSAI don’t recall hearing this talk when you took command.
GENERAL(Removes badge of office)
My Lady, if you want to lead the army, you have my resignation.
An eyeball-to-eyeball moment. The General puts his badge back on, salutes, turns to exit. Emamu blocks the way.
GENERAL (CONT'D)Lady. Kindly tell this piece of rancid goat cheese to move.
Princess Andressa nods. Emamu draws back and bows. The General exits. Princess Andressa turns.
PRINCESS ANDRESSAGet out of here! All of you!
INT. A PASSAGEWAY ON KRONA'S SPACESHIP - DAY
Krona, barefoot, hair a-tangle, rushes toward a hatch.
EXT. ON THE GREEN WITH NADAL – DAY
Nadal turns back to his golf cart, once again occupied by
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Witch 1 and Witch 2. He shakes his putter at them.
NADALI told you old prunes to git!
Witch 1 points a crooked finger at him.
WITCH 1Watch for a storm cloudUp high in the blue When Krona awakensAnd wants to see you
WITCH 2Imagine the rage thatWill build in her throat When she sees you cavorting You filthy old goat.
They snap their fingers. POOF! The cart morphs into a GINGERBREAD HOUSE. The Witches wave from windows as it launches itself upward. Saba gasps, crosses herself.
INT. THE BRIDGE ON KRONA'S SPACESHIP - THE SAME MOMENT
On the screen, image of Nadal & Amlak & Saba on the green looking up at the sky. Nadal & Amlak's voices can be heardbut what they are saying cannot be made out. Krona bursts onto the Bridge. The Pilot hits a key, switching to screensaver mode. Too late. Krona saw it.
KRONAWait! Switch that back!
EXT. ON THE GREEN WITH NADAL – A MOMENT OR SO LATER
Nadal sits. Caddy stands behind him looking officious. Meanwhile, whatever Saba does, Tre'Dean mimicks. Saba runsa hand through her hair. So does Tre'Dean. Saba puts a hand to her chin. So does Tre'Dean.
NADALNow let’s talk. 'Tween you, me 'n' the fly on the wall, if it wasn't me being there when your Daddy passed on, no telling what wouldda happened to your Ma - -
(Suddenly notices Saba)Hey, what am I? Chopped liver? Aren't you gonna introduce me?
AMLAKUh Saba, this is my Uncle Nadal.
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Nadal takes her hands, holds on, pulls her to him.
NADALExcuse me sitting. Age. Feet're always cold. Oh look at you! Spitting image of Tre'Dean. Red hair. Green eyes. This is eerie!
(Releases Saba. To Amlak) Need a minute in private, you and me, mano a mano, capish?
(Grins at Saba)No offence.
SABAUh, no, Sure. I'll uh. I'll just goover there and - -
She indicates a big shade tree. Amlak gives her a panicked“don't leave me” look as she draws away.
NADALYeah, you go and relax. Won't be long. Family stuff. You'd be bored.
Saba sits at the tree. Tre'Dean follows copying her every move. Nadal snaps his fingers. The Caddy nods, exits.
NADAL (CONT'D)Boy, you're lookin' at a man with not much time left. Sooner’n you know, they'll be doing my last rites and I'll be laid out all rigid an' stiff-like. Normal life’sall I ask for the short time left.
(Indicates Tre'Dean)A few simple pleasurable pursuits.
AMLAKWhat about Mama?
NADALDon't talk much anymore, her 'n'me.
Caddy brings with a thick tome, heaves it at Amlak's feet.
NADAL (CONT'D)Legal stuff. Need you to sign off. A formality, if you don't mind.
Amlak opens the tome, turns a few pages, frowns.
AMLAKThis is a general release. Releasing Tre'Dean to you.
NADALYep. Pretty much what it is.
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AMLAKI don't know, Uncle. Feels wrong.
Nadal slams his hand on the chair armrest.
NADALDamn it Boy! Let's cut to the chase. I'm tryin' to help get you back home with all forgiven. You scratch my back, I scratch yours.
Saba smiles and waves. Tre'Dean smiles and waves.
EXT. PRINCESS ANDRESSA’S TENT – THE SAME MOMENT
Just outside the flap, the General hangs from a gibbet.
INT. PRINCESS ANDRESSA’S TENT – THE SAME MOMENT
Princess Andressa stands at a table. Two frightened NEW GENERALS watch. She closes her hands over the scale model of the Abbey, catching it in a pincer, collapsing it.
PRINCESS ANDRESSAAssault from two sides. Questions?
EXT. ON THE GREEN WITH NADAL – A MOMENT LATER
AMLAKYou’re gonna have to gimme some time. I gotta think about this.
NADALNo time. Launch window's closing.
AMLAKI got to feel right about this.
NADALOkay, you don’t wanna be accused down the road of not doing right.
(Pulls a knife)You can say I had a knife and you had no choice. No one'll blame you.
Tin Man rushes up and forcefully inserts himself bodily between Amlak and Uncle Nadal, assumes fighting stance.
TIN MANYou will drop the weapon, Sir!
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NADALAhh! Forgot your guardian robot.
(Drops knife)Okay. Let’s try something else.
Nadal gestures to Tre’Dean.
NADAL (CONT'D)C’mere, darlin'. Let’s show nephew Amlak some things I taught you.
Tre'Dean plants herself on Uncle Nadal’s lap. He hugs her close, one hand on her breast and the other in her crotch. She swoons as if an orgasm were a-building.
NADAL (CONT'D)Turned her into a sweet little sex machine. I recall you don't like those. You're one of them old-fashioned "romantics."
Tre'Dean’s breasts heave as she bounces on Nadal's lap. Hethrusts his hand deep inside her. She orgasms loudly and wetly. She collapses against him and purrs.
NADAL (CONT'D)All I ask now is a little R & R. You know I deserve it.
INT. THE BRIDGE ON KRONA'S SPACESHIP - DAY
On the screen, Uncle Nadal in his chair diddling Tre'Dean.A visible rage builds.
KRONAQuick! Give me a weather front!
FIRST OFFICERBut Highness - -
KRONADo as I say, you bucket of worthless scrapmetal!
They begin pushing buttons and turning dials. On the screen, Tre'Dean's cap blows off.
INT. PRINCESS ANDRESSA’S TENT – THE SAME MOMENT
Princess Andressa looks up as a sudden gust causes the tent to strain against the ropes. She looks to the open flap to see the General's corpse swinging wildly.
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EXT. AT THE EDGE OF THE GREEN WITH NADAL – DAY
Tre'Dean chases after her cap. A strong gust sends the portable bar crashing. Nadal holds on tight to his chair.
NADALThe hell's going on?
EXT. THE VAST GREENBELT ON WHICH THE GOLF COURSE RESTS – DAY
Ominous rumbling. In the distance, two TWISTERS bear down.Cartloads of Golfers race in panic toward the Landers.
NADAL (O.S.)C'mon, darlin', hurry! It's every man for himself!
EXT. THE ABBEY RAMPART FACING PRINCESS ANDRESSA’S TENT – DAY
The FLAG on the battlement whips in the wind. ARMED MONKS point at the twisters and at the Landers rising en masse.
EXT. THE VAST GREENBELT ON WHICH THE GOLF COURSE RESTS – DAY
In the crowded sky, two ascending Landers collide and explode, raining burning metal on the fairway. Nadal waitsas the Caddy brings Tre'Dean. He holds a wand connected toan ominous-looking black box. The ka-chunk ka-chunk ka-chunk sound seems to be coming from the box.
NADAL Hurry!
CADDYComing, Sir!
Nadal turns to Amlak. He shouts over the wind.
NADAL Should've signed, boy. Was your ticket out. As for now, I can’t count on you. And who knows if I'llever be back this way again.
He points the wand at Amlak, squeezes. The ka-chunk ka-chunk ka-chunk gets louder. Amlak jumps aside as a small projectile grazes him. He falls. Saba kneels, presses a rag to the sudden bleeding. Tin Man moves front of Amlak.
Uncle Nadal turns it on Tin Man, squeezes. The ka-chunk ka-chunk ka-chunk reaches the high pitch of a keening bird. Tin Man turns bright red, his torso starting to sinkinto a puddle of molten ooze, followed by face and
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extremities. Tin Man raises a shaking arm, points it at Uncle Nadal, fires off a shot from his fingertip. It blasts a hole in the green in front of Nadal. After which the arm drops. Caddy and Tre'Dean rush by. Tre'Dean reaches into the Tin Man’s puddle, retrieves the snake, tosses it to Saba. It lands at her feet.
TRE'DEAN Keep it safe. You may need it.
Tre'Dean snatches up the bloody rag at Saba's feet. Uncle Nadal, Caddy & Tre'Dean speed away. Saba & Amlak watch them go. Saba picks up the snake.
AMLAKGive it here. I'll dispose of it.
SABAYou starting to give me orders?
AMLAKNo.
SABAShe gave it to me. I'm keeping it.
She stretches it out, lays it across her shoulders. It slithers to her upper arm, coils and blinks contentedly.
SABA (CONT'D)See? It likes me.
A rumble builds to a roar. A mighty wind crashes through the fairways ripping up trees. Amlak & Saba are knocked off their feet and swept up into the air.
EXT. IN THE AIR
Amlak & Saba tumble in slow motion. Objects float by: Plug& Stork laughing as they swim to the Rock; the Witches waving as they ascend; the Croc showing rows of teeth; theGypsy Chief giving a sign of blessing; Prince Andreas mouthing "I'm sorry”; the Queen in white smiling as she extends nail-pierced, bleeding hands; Tin Man melting and unmelting and melting again; Princess Andressa snarling; Uncle Nadal teeing off and shading his eyes to watch the ball. Then the sound of a rushing wind. Then all is black.
EXT. UNDERWATER
A churning torrent. Saba & Amlak swim upwards desperate toreach air. A light above. They break surface in the moat, coughing, gasping. Ominous FORMS speed toward them from the deep. Saba & Amlak swim toward the edge, but the Forms
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are gaining. A pole is extended. The snake stretches out from Saba's arm and grabs hold of it. Saba grabs Amlak by the hair. And they're pulled out just ahead of the Forms.
INT. PRINCESS ANDRESSA’S TENT – DAY
Princess Andressa, dressed like a warrior goddess, sits ona golden stool as Emamu performs the sixteen-count manual of arms with a massive, double-edged sword.
INT. THE GREAT HALL AT THE ABBEY - DAY
Saba & Amlak gasp for air. Saba looks up at Abbot Rodolfo.
ABBOT RODOLFODidn’t someone connect a red-headed woman to the murder?
MONK IN COMMANDWhy yes! I quite forgot about that.
ABBOT RODOLFOLock them with the others.
Abbot Rodolfo exits. Amlak groans, starts to get up. The Monk in Command gives him a vicious kick in the ribs.
MONK IN COMMANDYou get up when I say!
EXT. PRINCESS ANDRESSA’S TENT – DAY
Princess Andressa in chain mail on a charger. She looks down on the ROYAL TROOPERS in battle order.
BROTHER TWITCHEmamu is prepared to face any worthy opponent, Lady.
LORD BRANDONWhy are we humoring this fraud?
PRINCESS ANDRESSAShut up. You'd starve without me.
INT. A DANK DARK DUNGEON IN THE BOWELS OF THE ABBEY - NIGHT
Light enters via a barred window high up. Higg lies in a pile of straw. Amlak, in pain, is propped up at the wall.
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LAVELLATime after time, I told Higg to get rid of you. Told him you'd bring bad luck. But he has a weakness for your kind.
(Indicates groaning Amlak)Aren’t you going to go comfort yourboyfriend du jour?
Saba springs to her feet in a rage.
SABAYou take that back!
LAVELLATake back that you went to the Inn to sell yourself? Like every red-headed border slut? Seems a rite ofpassage for Dekia Rasho girls.
Saba launches herself at her. They grapple, roll in the straw, biting, kicking. Suddenly, a clanking noise.
MONK IN COMMAND (O.S.)Silence for Sister Christa!
INT. THE FIRST NEW GENERAL'S TENT - NIGHT
Spartan decor. The First New General sits at a camp table reviewing battle plans. The Second New General looks over his shoulder. A shuffling sound from the back. The Second New General points his blade at the flap. The First jerks it open. It’s Lord Brandon! His eyes are wild.
LORD BRANDONYou must delay the assault!
SECOND NEW GENERALDelay would mean death.
LORD BRANDONThe assault’s a disaster. It'll endby destroying all of us.
FIRST NEW GENERALWhat do we say to her?
LORD BRANDONSay the scouts made an error. The portable bridges built on their estimates are too short to span themoat. Say you're fabricating new bridges and it'll take a few days.
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FIRST NEW GENERALWould she accept that?
LORD BRANDONA wizard, on whose every word shehangs, foretold a battle for the Kingdom’s fate. He said it must be fought. It can’t be avoided.
SECOND NEW GENERALSo the moat must be crossed.
FIRST NEW GENERALThat’s right. The Monks aren't coming out. They're dug in with a “come in and get us” strategy. Whole place is barricaded.
LORD BRANDONBut as long as you delay and not cross the moat, there's no battle.
They think about that.
LORD BRANDON (CONT'D)She’s insane. Maybe someone'll killher. Then we can stop this madness.
FIRST NEW GENERALBut what's your stake? If the Princess loses, don’t you lose?
He sighs. He speaks in a barely audible voice.
LORD BRANDONPrince Andreas was my friend. I think she had him killed. Since hisdeath, it’s been a mad power grab.
FIRST NEW GENERALI admit the circumstances of the Prince’s death are murky.
LORD BRANDONThere’s also this. I saw her and Brother Twitch toasting his death. I'm frightened. I might be next. I've said too much. I must go back.
Lord Brandon exits out the flap and vanishes.
INT. THE DANK DARK DUNGEON – NIGHT
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THE QUEENLeave us.
(She smiles)I know what I’m doing.
The Monk in Command bows. The Monks leave.
THE QUEEN (CONT'D)You're from the border region.
SABADekia Rasho, Ma'am.
THE QUEENWhen I was first wed, I was out there. It was a Shankallah war and my husband led troops. I went alongdespite I was pregnant with Andreasand Andressa. Seemed every second or third woman was redheaded.
SABAMark of our race, Ma'am.
THE QUEENYes. Border Girls are noted for their exotic looks, in demand as concubines and for pleasure houses.
A look of anger crosses Saba’s face.
THE QUEEN (CONT'D)You're bold. I recall your kind arewont to look you in the eye.
SABASome mistake it for insolence.
THE QUEENMy daughter would.
Amlak groans. The Queen turns, looks at him.
SABAHe was kicked, Ma'am. Cracked rib.
Higg groans. The Queen turns her attention to him.
SABA (CONT'D)Broken leg. I bring him to you.
THE QUEENTo have me mend him?
SABA & LAVELLAYes, Ma'am.
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THE QUEENI tell them it's not I who heals. Isay I'm but an instrument and what happens, happens. But they keep coming and saying, "Please heal." I'll give your friends what I give the others. Normally it’s a gift. But from you, I'll want payment.
LAVELLABut we have nothing.
THE QUEENYou have secrets.
EXT. THE OPEN FIELD BELOW PRINCESS ANDRESSA'S TENT - NIGHT
Emamu stands, surveying the distant Abbey walls in the moonlight. His shin guards lay on a large flat rock.
EMAMUCan you keep a secret?
BROTHER TWITCHYou know me. Mum's the word.
EMAMUWhen I performed the manual of armsfor the Princess, I tore something in my ribs. Now it's like a knife.
BROTHER TWITCHPostpone. I’ll tell her that - -
EMAMUYou'll tell no one! Her desire is my command. Now help with the shinguards. I can’t bend down.
With a look of foreboding on his face, he picks them up.
INT. THE DUNGEON - NIGHT
LAVELLAYes, Ma'am. We’ll tell you - -
SABAWe'll tell on one condition.
Suddenly, she's not Sister Christa. She's the angry Queen.
THE QUEENYou dare set conditions?
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LAVELLAPlease Saba, don't provoke her - -
Saba raises a hand for silence. LaVella clams up.
SABACondition is we serve you. No one else, not the monks nor the Abbot.
THE QUEENWhatever would I do with you?
SABAAmlak and Higg, after you repair them, could be your escorts, keeping people from crowding you.
THE QUEENI’ve had my fill of bodyguards.
SABANot bodyguards. Crowd control managers. What do you prefer? People pressing in, fighting for your attention? Or waiting in line,waiting their turn?
THE QUEENThat does make sense.
SABALaVella could be your dietitian.
LaVella opens her mouth to speak. Saba gives her a look.
SABA (CONT'D)She's well-suited, very experiencedin running other people's lives.
THE QUEENShe won't have much work. I fast.
SABAAll the more reason to have someoneensuring you keep up your strength.
THE QUEEN(An admiring smile)
And what would you be doing?
SABAPersonal Assistant. Dictation, correspondence, appointments, minimizing the chaos, confusion, hustle and bustle, ensuring peripheral matters stay peripheral,letting you focus on core issues.
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THE QUEENYou've a way with words, girl.
SABACall me Saba, Ma'am.
The Queen takes out the Prince’s gold coin, holds it up.
THE QUEENNow tell me about my poor Andreas.
LaVella & Saba draw close, begin to speak. We can’t hear.
EXT. THE OPEN FIELD - DAY
Morning. Emamu & Brother Twitch go a short way and halt.
EMAMUHere. Now issue the challenge.
Brother Twitch brings the megaphone up.
BROTHER TWITCHAre we to conclude the men of this ancient and venerable Abbey are no better than a - -
INT. THE CHAPEL AT THE ABBEY – THE SAME MOMENT
LaVella, Saba and the Queen stare at the chapel window through which the challenge comes, loud and clear.
BROTHER TWITCH (O.S.)Pack of rats and mice scurrying to their holes whilst men such as my Lord Emamu walk on the earth, swordin hand, seeking honorable quarrel with any worthy man-at-arms?
Higg and Amlak pace about, their injuries seemingly gone.
HIGGLet me have a look at this fellow. Ye Gods! Like the Tower of Babel!
THE QUEENMy daughter's bodyguard. He's nine feet tall, well-versed in warfare.
LAVELLAWhat does he want?
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THE QUEENSingle combat. He's challenging theAbbot to send a champion out.
AMLAKGood God! Never seen such a one!
BROTHER TWITCH (O.S.)Is there no one in the Abbey who can stand erect on two legs and say, "I am a man, not a dog?!"
Amlak and Higg look at one another. They shiver in fear.
EXT. THE OPEN FIELD – LATER THAT MORNING
A pike stuck in the ground projects a shadow half its length. Emamu, in visible pain, stands in full armor.
BROTHER TWITCH We can leave. No one’s coming.
EMAMUNo. We wait for the shadow to equalthe pike’s length. Her command.
Emamu points to the shadow. Brother Twitch takes out a handkerchief, wipes sweat. He holds up the megaphone.
BROTHER TWITCH How times have changed! Years ago many warriors would have pledged their swords. But now - -
INT. THE CHAPEL – THE SAME MOMENT
BROTHER TWITCH (O.S.)Not one man of courage will take the challenge. Sad state of affairs! Cowardice reigns supreme.
The Monk In Command enters, bows to the Queen.
SABAIs what he says true?
MONK IN COMMANDNo! We have many brave fighters!
SABABut no one to shut that man up.
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The Queen & the Monk In Command stare at the floor.
SABA (CONT'D)If no one will, I will!
LaVella laughs.
EXT. PRINCESS ANDRESSA’S TENT – THE SAME MOMENT
Princess Andressa sits on her charger. A MESSENGER gallopsup with a dispatch. Long silence while she reads it.
PRINCESS ANDRESSADo you know what this says?
MESSENGERNo, Highness.
PRINCESS ANDRESSAThe scouts erred. Assault's on holddue to an error in calculating the the bridge span. What do you think?
MESSENGERMe? You want to know what I think?
PRINCESS ANDRESSAI'd be curious.
MESSENGERI'd be upset. Such an error could mean troops killed and battle lost.
PRINCESS ANDRESSAAnd if you were general, would you send a mere messenger to tell me?
MESSENGERI'd come personally, Highness. I think if you had questions, I'd want to be the one to answer them.
PRINCESS ANDRESSA(Takes off her ring)
Take this ring. Inform the cowards they are no longer in command.
MESSENGERWho's the new general, Highness?
PRINCESS ANDRESSAYou, of course.
EXT. THE OPEN FIELD – TWO HOURS LATER
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The shadow's nine-tenths the pike’s length. Emamu eyes it.
BROTHER TWITCHPerhaps I could do something to influence the shadow’s advance?
Emamu grimaces in pain as he glances over his shoulder.
EMAMUNo, she's watching. Can't risk it.
EXT. ON THE ABBEY SIDE OF THE MOAT – THE SAME MOMENT
The heavy door swings open. Saba, The Queen, The Monk In Command emerge, followed by an ARMORBEARER.
MONK IN COMMANDIt's suicide! I won’t allow it!
THE QUEENAnd yet you can’t get even one brave fighter to go shut him up.
The Armorbearer starts strapping armor on Saba.
MONK IN COMMANDSister, I’m responsible for what goes on in the Abbey.
THE QUEENWe’re not in the Abbey, are we?
MONK IN COMMANDI could arrest her. She’s a suspectin a crime. The Abbot himself - -
THE QUEENI pardoned her. She works for me.
MONK IN COMMANDI hope you know what you’re doing.
The Monk In Command starts to leave, then he turns.
MONK IN COMMANDI don’t like this one bit.
THE QUEENGo back inside.
He goes inside, slams the door. Saba tests the armor.
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SABACan't move. Cuts into my quickness.
She starts unstrapping the shinguards.
THE QUEENYou need protection. He's quick fora big man. Don't underestimate him.
SABA He's top heavy. Weight's up high.
THE QUEENHow would you fight him?
SABAKeep him moving, tire him, get close, slow him with a blow to the knee. Finish him with my knife.
Saba pats her sheath. It's empty. The Queen opens her hand.Poof! The knife appears. She hands it back to Saba.
THE QUEENMore people get killed forgetting things in the heat of battle.
SABAI'll try to remember that.
THE QUEENWe'll do it your way. If you die, we'll say your way didn't work.
The Queen goes back inside. She seems to float on air. Thedoor seems to open and shut on its own. And Saba is alone.
EXT. THE OPEN FIELD - AN HOUR LATER
The Sun beats down. The Pike's shadow nearly equals its length. Brother Twitch shades his eyes.
BROTHER TWITCHSomeone’s come out. Can't see who.
EMAMUI'm thirsty. I need water.
Brother Twitch hands the water skin to Emamu. He shakes it.
EMAMUIt's empty! Did you drank it all?
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BROTHER TWITCHThroat gets dry. Needed water to speak clear through the megaphone.
EMAMUGo fill it at the moat, you ass.
BROTHER TWITCHBut. But that's close to the enemy.
Brother Twitch hesitates. Emamu half draws his sword.
EMAMU (CONT'D)Get going! Go!
Brother Twitch starts walking forelornly toward the moat.
EXT. A RAMPART ON THE ABBEY WALLS - THE SAME MOMENT
MONKS, PILGRIMS, & ABBEY WORKERS cheer. Amlak, LaVella & Higg work their way to the outer wall.
HIGGEveryone's cheering for Saba.
LAVELLAWhy cheer? She's going to die.
LaVella grabs a Pilgrim by the scruff of the neck.
LAVELLA (CONT'D) The giant's going to kill her!
Higg pulls her away from the Pilgrim.
LAVELLA (To Pilgrim)
Sorry.(Jerks herself free of Higg)
No one has a problem seeing her diebut no one's willing to help her!
AMLAKI'm going to help!
He dashes off. Higg looks down at Saba preparing to swim.
HIGGThink I should go along, pet? Keep an eye on him? Just in case?
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LAVELLAOh, do what you want!
Higg has taken his last public rebuke from LaVella. He gives her a Bronx cheer and runs off leaving her alone.
EXT. DOWN AT THE MOAT WITH SABA - A MOMENT LATER
Saba touches toe to water. A DEMON-LIKE CREATURE pokes its head up, displaying a double row of teeth. Just then, the waters begin to part. Saba jumps back. A strip of land appears forming a path through the moat.
EXT. AN OPEN WINDOW HIGH ON THE ABBEY WALL - THE SAME MOMENT
The Queen looks down at the parted waters. She twirls an index finger. The waters move back more, widening the path.
EXT. THE OPEN FIELD WITH EMAMU - THE SAME MOMENT
Emamu drapes a cloth on his head, breathing more labored.
EMAMUWhere is my water?!?
EXT. DOWN AT THE MOAT WITH BROTHER TWITCH - THE SAME MOMENT
He lies in bushes at water's edge, slurping, splashing his face, the empty water skin by him. He sees Saba, reaches forhis blade. The waters begin to part. He gasps, runs in fear.
EXT. THE DRY PATH THROUGH THE MOAT - A MOMENT LATER
Saba walks the path with ten-foot walls of water on either side. MONSTERS & DEMONS swim up to the walls, hissing.
EXT. THE OPEN FIELD - THE SAME MOMENT
Brother Twitch is within shouting distance of Emamu.
EMAMUDo you have my water?!?
BROTHER TWITCHStrangest thing, Sir! The moat - -
EMAMUDO YOU HAVE MY WATER?!?
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He holds up the empty skin. Emamu hurls his throwing spear, piercing the Monk's gut, impaling him to the ground. Emamu sees Saba, still too far off to see clearly,emerge from the moat. He takes the pike and, using it as awalking staff, sets out, the earth shaking as he walks.
INT. THE GENERAL'S TENT - DAY
The New General (formerly the Messenger), in silver armor and gold medals, sits in thought. An AIDE approaches.
NEW GENERALThe assault begins the second the Shankallah kills the challenger. Remember, timing is everything.
The Aide salutes and exits. The New General picks up a hand mirror, observes himself, smiles and nods.
EXT. PRINCESS ANDRESSA’S TENT – THE SAME MOMENT
Princess Andressa sits on her charger. Behind her, Lord Brandon sits on his Mare.
PRINCESS ANDRESSAWhat are you thinking, husband?
LORD BRANDONThinking? I was thinking how - uh -how glorious it will be when the Abbey falls into your hands, dear.
PRINCESS ANDRESSAGlorious, you say.
LORD BRANDONYes.I always wanted a glorious clerical robes. And a green mitre.
EXT. THE RAMPART - MOMENTS LATER
LaVella watches the Monks, Pilgrims, Abbey Workers and Others pointing excitedly at the activity down below.
PILGRIMSee! Two men run through the moat!
MONKThey look familiar.
ABBEY WORKERWeren't they here with the woman?
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PILGRIMWhat woman?
ABBEY WORKERThe blonde women. Over there.
But LaVella is no longer “over there.”
EXT. THE OPEN FIELD - THE SAME MOMENT
Sound of the distant cheering crowd. Emamu strides slowly, painfully, his armor clanking. He now sees Saba clearly.
EMAMUJust a damn kid! Not even in armor!
Emamu sees two Men running to overtake her.
EXT. WITH AMLAK AND HIGG IN THE OPEN FIELD - THE SAME MOMENT
Higg stops, out of breath. Amlak stops, too.
HIGGWe watch her right and left, okay?
Amlak nods. They walk. Higg looks right, Amlak looks left.
HIGGClear on the right.
AMLAKClear on the left.
Saba turns, gives them a contemptuous look.
SABAWhat are you two up to?
AMLAKUh. Watching. Watching your flanks.
Suddenly a voice with the force of an earthquake.
EMAMU (O.S.)ARE YOU READY TO DIE, LITTLE MOUSE?
Saba turns. Emamu stands 400 yards ahead, like a tower in the sky. He tosses his broadsword up. It spins, flashes inthe sun. He catches it, swings it, slicing a tree branch.
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EXT. WITH EMAMU IN THE OPEN FIELD - A MOMENT LATER
Emamu grits his teeth. The pain from tossing the sword is excruciating. He wills himself not to show it.
EMAMUCome. Because I can't go to you.
Saba, a face of grim resolve, stands 400 yards ahead. Higg& Amlak, their faces not so resolute, stand behind her.
EXT. IN THE DRY PATH THROUGH THE MOAT - THE SAME MOMENT
BATTLE-READY MONKS await the order to attack. The Monsters &Demons in the water walls try frightening them with fierce looks. A Monk sticks out his tongue. A Demon explodes.
EXT. WITH SABA IN THE OPEN FIELD - THE SAME MOMENT
Saba stops at the impaled Brother Twitch. Suddenly his eyes open. Gritting his teeth, he grips the shaft and snaps it intwo. He opens his mouth as if to speak. Blood and saliva dribble out. His hand falls back, his eyes turn up, he goes limp. Saba turns, looks across the field at Emamu.
EMAMU Where are your friends, little mouse?
Saba turns, looks for Amlak and Higg. They're gone.
EXT. PRINCESS ANDRESSA’S TENT – THE SAME MOMENT
A NEW MESSENGER stands next to Lord Brandon's Mare.
PRINCESS ANDRESSAHe just stands there.
NEW MESSENGERMaybe he's toying with her, Lady.
PRINCESS ANDRESSAToying with my patience! Go! A goldpiece for you if he gets it done.
He rides off on the Mare. Lord Brandon emerges in a lady'sriding outfit. He sees his mare gone, stamps his boot.
EXT. SOLAR SYSTEM - DAY
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A black sky. In foreground, SATURN and her MOONS. The SUN, afaint star. Krona's Spaceship powers into view.
INT. THE BRIDGE ON KRONA'S SPACESHIP - DAY
Nadal hums as he practices putting. Krona enters.
KRONAI want to call Amlak.
(To the First Officer)Open a channel to my son.
FIRST OFFICERWe’re out of range, Lady Krona.
KRONAWhat? Why wasn't I told?
(To the Pilot)Turn the ship back.
Nadal gestures the Pilot to stay on course.
NADALDearest, I'm afraid we can't.
KRONAOf course we can! Turn the ship.
Nadal gestures the Pilot to stay on course.
KRONA (CONT'D)Are you countermanding me?
He gestures her to sit. She does. A long silence.
NADAL I wasn't going to tell you until wegot back, didn't want to upset you.
Uncle Nadal fishes the bloody rag from his pocket.
NADAL (CONT'D)Long and short of it is, he's dead.
This hits her like a slap in the face.
NADAL (CONT'D)I was waiting for the right time, considering the circumstances - -
KRONAWhat? What circumstances?
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NADALThe sudden storm that you.
(He stops himself)The swirling winds came out of nowhere. He fell, struck his head.
(Holds up the bloody rag)We tried to stop the bleeding. He said give you this. His last words.
KRONA(Presses rag to cheek)
Oh God no!
NADALDon't blame yourself.
KRONAI lost my only child.
Tre'Dean enters silently. She smiles a perfect smile.
NADALNo. You still have a daughter.
EXT. WITH THE NEW MESSENGER IN THE OPEN FIELD - DAY
With difficulty, the New Messenger keeps the mare upright. He now sees, on close inspection, that the open field is notflat but criss-crossed with shallow ditches hidden by tall grass. He steers the Mare onto a raised bank.
EXT. AT THE QUEEN'S HIGH OPEN WINDOW - THE SAME MOMENT
The Queen's extended arm shakes. A strain on her face.
EXT. IN THE DRY PATH THROUGH THE MOAT - THE SAME MOMENT
The water walls shake as if straining to hold their shape.A Demon slides through, tumbles onto the path. A Monk kills it. The Monk In Command runs along the line.
MONK IN COMMANDEyes on the wall! Eyes on the wall!
EXT. WITH EMAMU IN THE OPEN FIELD - SOME MOMENTS LATER
NEW MESSENGERHer Highness wishes you to proceed to kill the challenger forthwith.
EMAMULet the girl come. I will kill her.
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NEW MESSENGERNo! You must go to her. Troops are poised to attack. They can't stay poised forever.
EMAMUAnd I said, let her come.
NEW MESSENGERYou dare refuse the Princess' direct command? I will tell her!
EMAMUYou'll tell her nothing!
The New Messenger gives Emamu an "orders are orders" look, reaches to snatch his chain of office. Emamu suddenly grips the man's neck, squeezes. The New Messenger's eyes threaten to burst. Emamu releases his grip. The New Messenger jerks away, gasping. Emamu gestures obscenely at Saba, daring her.
EXT. IN THE OPEN FIELD WITH SABA - THE SAME MOMENT
Saba sees Emamu's gesture.
SABAThat son of a - -
She kicks the impaled corpse onto its side, pulls out the broken spear. She snaps off the half with the point, brandishes it at Emamu, starts running straight at him.
EXT. WITH EMAMU IN THE OPEN FIELD - A MOMENT LATER
Emamu stiffens as he sees her coming. He readies the pike.
EMAMUShe comes now. Her life will end. Tell our Mistress she may proceed.
NEW MESSENGER(Still choking)
You're sure?
EMAMUGo!
The New Messenger turns the Mare around. In a nearby ditch, hidden in tall grass, Higg and Amlak crouch low.
EXT. ON A RAISED BANK WITH SABA - THE SAME MOMENT
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Sound of the distant Crowd. Saba is sixty paces from Emamu, running in a mad dash. She cocks her arm, aiming the spear.
EXT. IN THE OPEN FIELD WITH EMAMU - THE SAME MOMENT
Crowd noise louder. Sound of Emamu's labored breathing.
EMAMUCome closer, little mouse.
EXT. AMLAK & HIGG IN THE SHALLOW DITCH – THE SAME MOMENT
Amlak parts the tall grass, sees Emamu towering above him onthe raised bank. He takes a coil of cord from his belt and fashions a loop just as Emamu takes a step forward.
HIGGWhat possessed her to take him on? Why am I here? I must be crazy.
AMLAKNo, You're a cockeyed optimist.
They crawl forward a bit until they're just below and besideEmamu. Amlak holds the loop end of the rope out to Higg.
HIGGI'm to put it on him? Is that it?
AMLAKYou're smaller. He won't see you.
HIGGNow I know I'm crazy. Give it here.
EXT. IN THE PATH THROUGH THE MOAT - THE SAME MOMENT
THE QUEEN (O.S.)Hurry! Hurry!
The path is turning to mud. Demons & Monsters slide from the walls, their teeth and claws flashing. The Armed Monkschop them up as they emerge. One Demon hops on a Monk's back, sinks his teeth in deep. The Monk screams.
EXT. IN THE OPEN FIELD WITH EMAMU - A MOMENT LATER
Saba closes. She halts just out of range. Emamu takes two quick steps, thrusts at her. She retreats. He tries advancing further. Something stops him. He turns.
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EMAMUWhat the - -
He sees a cord around his ankle which the crawling Higg has put there. He tries jerking and kicking to snap it.
EXT. WITH AMLAK IN THE SHALLOW DITCH - THE SAME MOMENT
Amlak hammers, driving the stake deeper. The cord, tied to the stake, jerks, stretches to its limit, threatens to snap.
HIGG (O.S.)Get up here, Man! I need help!
EXT. IN THE OPEN FIELD WITH SABA & EMAMU - THE SAME MOMENT
Emamu stabs at Higg with the pike. Higg dodges, stays behindhim forcing him to turn. Saba sees an opening, moves in, stabs Emamu. He roars. He turns on her. She retreats. In turning, Emamu has wrapped the cord around his ankles. Now hobbled, he loses balance, starts falling forward. Saba closes to deliver some deep thrusys to his gut.
MONTAGE
-- Princess Andressa looks on, her hands balled into fists.
PRINCESS ANDRESSAKill her, you fool!
-- People on the rampart strain to.see.
-- Royal Soldiers stand in formation, ready for the assault.
SERGEANTWait for the signal, Lads.
-- Abbot Rodolfo in his private chapel, kneeling before the...image of Mary Queen of Heaven, saying the rosary.
MONTAGE ENDS
EXT. IN THE OPEN FIELD WITH SABA & EMAMU - MOMENTS LATER
Emamu falls like a huge tree coming down, burying all below him in the earth-shaking WHUMPPPPP! Dust and leaves slowly settle over him. And for a single beat, all is still. Amlak,holding onto the cord, pulls himself from the ditch.
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AMLAKShe's under him! She'll suffocate!
HIGGWhere under him? Where do we dig?
Then, Saba's spear tip pops through Emamu's lower back.
AMLAKThere! She's right there!
MONTAGE
-- People on the rampart see the fallen Emamu. They cheer.
-- Abbot Rodolfo hears the cheers through the walls. A Monk ...enters, whispers. He looks up at Mary, mouths "Thank you"
-- The Sergeant stands in front of a formation of Troops. ...The look on his face turns from resolve to unease.
-- Princess Andressa, shock and dismay on her face, sees the...fallen Emamu. A shadow appears behind her. She turns.
MONTAGE ENDS
EXT. IN THE PATH THROUGH THE MOAT - THE SAME MOMENT
MONK IN COMMANDGo! Go! Go! Go!
The Armed Monks rush out into the open field toward the Royal Troopers. They scream a blood-curdling rebel yell.
EXT. AT THE RISE AMONGST THE ROYAL TROOPERS - A MOMENT LATER
In the open field below, a horde of screaming Armed Monks on the raised banks heading straight toward them.
SERGEANTSteady, lads. Wait till you see thewhites of their eyes. Steady.
The Sergeant turns to see no one in formation behind him. He turns back to see the Armed Monks closing. He runs.
MONTAGE
-- Bands of Armed Monks overtake fleeing Royal Troopers and...cut them to pieces.
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-- Armed Monks surround a huge tree, shoot arrows and sling...stones up into tree. The Sergeant drops from tree, dead.
-- Armed Monks stop a "woman" trying to leave the scene of...battle. They pull back "her" veil to reveal the the...General (formerly the Messenger).
-- Royal Troopers surrender in droves.
-- Armed Monks surround the Princess' Carriage. The Monk in...Charge drags out Lord Brandon in a milkmaid's getup,...complete with bucket and milking stool.
MONTAGE ENDS
EXT. IN THE OPEN FIELD WITH HIGG & AMLAK - MOMENTS LATER
Emamu lies still, facedown. Sound of battle in progress everywhere around them. Higg and Amlak dig.
HIGGShe's probably dead.
AMLAKNo! She's alive! I can hear her!
Amlak redoubles his digging efforts. Just then, Higg spots Emamu's big pike sticking out sideways from underneath him.
HIGGPike! Use it as a lever! Rock him back and forth! She'll crawl out.
Higg & Amlak grab hold of it, start rocking Emamu.
AMLAKKeep rocking. Get her out!
They work feverishly, raising the torso slightly.
AMLAK (CONT'D)Keep rocking. Almost got it!
But no! Amlak is suddenly face-to-face, eyeball-to-eyeballwith a wide-awake Emamu. Emamu raises himself up, slaps a huge hand at Amlak and Higg. They go flying.
With painful effort, Emamu raises himself high, looks downat Saba with a hateful grin, raises a fist to smash her skull. She reaches for her knife. It's not there! She seesit ten feet away, too far to reach. Suddenly a loud shot and a bloody hole in Emamu's forehead. Saba sees smoke coming from the tip of the snake, as if from a gun barrel.
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Saba rolls out from under Emamu a split second before he crashes back down. Higg and Amlak rush up. They watch as Emamu utters a death rattle and then lies still. Suddenly a WHOOP and a YEEE-HAW. LaVella, mounted on horseback, rides up with a naked Princess Andressa in tow.
LAVELLAGuards ran off when the giant fell,leaving her - uh - exposed.
Higg lights a cigar and, with a big grin, starts toward Princess Andressa.
HIGGWell done, pet! We worried sick about you. Get some rest while I take the Princess to the dungeon.
LaVella cracks a whip. Higg stops, puts the cigar away.
HIGGUh. Yes, pet.
INT. A HORSE TRAIL - DAY
Saba galloping lickety-split. She looks back, laughing.
EXT. NOT FAR BEHIND - THE SAME MOMENT
Amlak spurs his horse in pursuit. He's laughing, too.
INT. UP AHEAD - A MOMENT LATER
Saba steers her horse off the path, pulls up behind a large bush. She watches as Amlak zips past.
AMLAKI'm gonna get you, girl!
Saba laughs and spurs her horse in a different direction. Amlak screeches to a halt, turns and pursues.
AMLAK (CONT'D)Just wait! I'm gonna get you!
INT. THE PURSUIT - A MOMENT LATER
Amlak is gaining on her just as they reach the crest. Below them, the Abbey with the drawbridge down. Monks line the road on either side. Saba slows to let Amlak pull up beside her. They ride down together to sustained cheers.
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SABAOkay, Typical Guy, playtime's over.
INT. THE GREAT HALL AT THE ABBEY - DAY
Saba & Amlak, escorted by the Monks, walk in. The Queen sitson a throne, wearing a crown. A host of PEASANTS & TOWNSMEN are gathered. In front, Higg & LaVella. The Abbot frowns.
THE QUEENI know what I’m doing, Rodolfo.
The Abbot sighs, gives a signal. The Monks lead Amlak & Sabawith pomp and circumstance up the aisle. As they near the front, Saba gives the Queen a wink. The Queen winks back.
ABBOTThere's a question as to whether they are actually married.
AMLAKUh. We kind of are.
SABAAnd we kind of aren’t.
THE QUEENWe can fix that, can’t we?
ABBOTYes, Your Highness.
Amlak grins, squeezes Saba's hand. They turn to face the cheering Throng. Two thrones are brought out. Saba and Amlaksit. Two Monks bring out CROWNS and place them on their heads. Loud cheers, the loudest coming from LaVella.
LAVELLAYou go, girl! You go!
Cheering dies down. The Queen starts to remove her crown.
ABBOTHighness, we beg you to reconsider!
Thunderous clapping. She holds up a hand for silence.
THE QUEENSaba and Amlak will do well. They have character, courage and intelligence. Not to mention, Amlakis of royal blood. I charge you allto honor them as you would me.
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More thunderous clapping. Higg lets out a WHOOOP!
THE QUEEN (CONT'D)As for me, I must continue my life of prayer and fasting, for while this place is good, my goal is to prepare myself for a better place.
The Queen sets the crown down, walks up the aisle to a hushed Throng. She seems to float rather than walk. The door opens and shuts on its own as she passes out. And she's gone. And Saba smiles her first queenly smile.
FADE OUT
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