DEDICATION

forMarilyn

CONTENTS

DEDICATIONINTRODUCTION371B.C.-THESACREDBAND213B.C.-ARCHIMEDES’SECRETWEAPON52B.C.-UPAGAINSTTHEWALL60A.D.-WARRIORPRINCESS532-DARINGDANCER732-ANISLAMICEUROPE?832-SPOILSOFWAR1090-HISTORY’SHITMEN1207-THESWALLOWSOFVOLOHAI1281-DIVINEWIND1287-ARMSRACE1314-DANGEROUSGAMES1428-GODISINTHEDETAILS1452-WEAPONSWIZARD1519-SIEGEOFBREADANDBUTTER1592-FIGHTINGTURTLES1618-AFALLING-OUTINPRAGUE1620-DREBBEL’SDREAM1642-BEESINBATTLE1683-THESIEGETHATGAVEBIRTHTOTHECROISSANT1739-WAROFJENKINS’EAR1755-ADANDYTALE1775-OLDMAN’SFIGHT1775-FIGHTINGWORDS1776-THEGENERAL’SGAMBIT1776-FORGOTTENFIGHT1777-MIRACLEATSARATOGA1778-TRICKORTREASON

1788-BULLDOGOFTHEBLACKSEA1794-REVOLUTIONARYPENCIL1796-AMERICA’SWORSTGENERAL1801-BLINDMAN’SBLUFF1802-THEFEVERFACTOR1803-SHELLSHOCK1808-RUMREBELLION1812-THEWAROFBADTIMING1814-ANARMYOFTWO1814-“THESTAR-SPANGLEDBANNER”1815-BADDAYATWATERLOO1816-SPEARHEADINGAREVOLUTION1825-BUDDINGSTATESMAN1836-DAVY’SDEATH1839-TEAPARTY1842-SPENCER’SLEGACY1849-TERRORFROMTHESKIES1854-THEARTOFWAR1854-DRESSEDTOKILL...ORBEKILLED1855-OVERTHEHUMP?1857-BITETHEBULLET1859-REDCROSS1859-THEPIGWAR1861-NATIVEGUARDS1862-TWENTY-FOURNOTES1862-THREECIGARS1863-UNLEADEDZEPPELIN1864-BURIALGROUND1864-ABITTERHARVEST1866-THEDAYTHEIRISHINVADEDCANADA1869-CHEWONTHIS1870-PARISPOST1889-WINDSOFWAR1898-FIGHTINGJOE

1903-ATALEOFTWOGENERALS1912-GLORYDEFERRED1913-THELASTCHARGE1913-FLYINGCIRCUS1914-LIGHTS!CAMERA!WAR!1914-THEBATTLEOFTHELUXURYLINERS1914-CHRISTMASTRUCE1917-THEBLACKSWALLOWOFDEATH1917-ONEAGAINSTWAR1921-THEFEMALELAWRENCEOFARABIA1929-ENIGMA1937-THEGOODMANOFNANKING1940-THERESCUER1940-THEMANWHOSAVEDBUCKINGHAMPALACE1940-THELADYISASPY1942-HEROESO’HARE1942-GADZOOKS!1942-ANOFFERHECOULDN’TREFUSE1942-THEYOUNGESTHERO1943-THEWRIGHTSTUFF1943-PIGEONSINAPELICAN1943-ONE-SIDEDBATTLE1943-ACOUNRTYOFHEROES1944-THEGREATESTHOAXINHISTORY1944-ISPARISBURNING?1944-PATTON’SPRAYER1944-FU-GOATTACK1945-FLAGDAY1945-SHADESOFGRAY1945-ABOUTFACE1946-FLOORIT1961-BOMBSAWAY!1964-G.I.JOE1966-ACOUSTICKITTY

1969-THESOCCERWAR1969-LIKEFATHER,LIKESON1982-SCRAPMETALWAR1991-THEDOMINO’STHEORYSOURCESACKNOWLEDGMENTSPHOTOCREDITSABOUTTHEAUTHORALSOBYRICKBEYERCOPYRIGHTABOUTTHEPUBLISHER

INTRODUCTION

“War is hell,” said William Tecumseh Sherman. But it has alsospawnedsomemind-bendingtruestories.Consider:a toplessdancer saved theRomanEmpire,andDanielBoonewas

once tried for treason.Oneconflict brokeoutbecauseof a soccergamewhileanotherwashaltedsoasoccergamecouldbeplayed.AnAfrican-Americanunitmanaged to serve on both sides during the Civil War. And Santa Anna, thegeneral who massacred the defenders of the Alamo, was instrumental in theinventionofmodernchewinggum.I ama lifelonghistoryenthusiast luckyenough tobeearninga livingdoing

whatIlove:makinghistorydocumentaries.AfewyearsagoIgotthechancetoproduce a series of history minutes for THE HISTORY CHANNEL.® The Timelab2000®series,hostedbySamWaterston,wassowellreceivedthatit ledtomyfirstbook,TheGreatestStoriesNeverTold. I filled thatbookwith thekindofhistory I love—stories that turn your expectations upside down and leave youshaking your head in wonderment. Happily, readers and critics enjoyed thestoriesasmuchasIdid.Now I have turnedmy attention to the subject ofwar andwarriors, human

experience at itsmost concentrated and extreme.For better orworse,war hasbeenafundamentalpartofhistory,touchingeverygenerationandreachingintoevery corner of the globe. “War means fighting,” said Confederate generalNathanBedfordForrest,“andfightingmeanskilling.”Hardwords,andtrue.Butthereismoretowarthandeathanddestruction.Warcanbeacatalystforchange,an engine for innovation, and an arena for valor, deceit, intrigue, ambition,audacity, folly, and, yes, humor. That’s what makes military history socompelling.Beyondthebig-namebattlesandcelebratedsoldiersliesawealthofamazing

charactersandunbelievablehappenings.AsIdidformyfirstbook,Isetoutonaquest for theunusual, the surprising, and the ironic—stories that cryout tobetold.Heretheyareinyourhand,gatheredfrommorethantwothousandyearsof

history.Theveryfirstoneisaboutanelitemilitaryunitcomposedentirelyofgaysoldiers,andthelastisaboutPentagonpizzadeliveriespredictingthestartofthefirstGulfWar.InbetweenyoucanfindoutwhyGeorgeWashington’shousewasnamedaftertheinventorofgrog,whattheMafiadidtohelpwinWorldWarII,andhowaCivilWargeneralwhodidn’tknowanoteofmusicstillmanagedtowriteasongthateverybodyknows.Though Ihave reada fairbitofhistory, Iwasquiteamazedbysomeof the

stories I came across. Each of them has been painstakingly researched andcarefully fact-checked. Many a fascinating tale has failed to make the cutbecauseitdidn’tholdupunderscrutiny.Theonesthatmadeitin,bizarreastheymightseem,areastrueasIknowhowtomakethem.“Itiswellthatwarissoterrible,”blurtedoutRobertE.Leeinthemidstofa

battle, “orweshouldgrow to love it.”Humanbeingshavebeen fascinatedbywarsincethedawnofhistory.Whatcouldbemoredramatic,afterall,thanhigh-stakes,life-and-deathconflictonagrandscale?Forallofwar’shorrors,itspullremainsstrong. Ihope that the stories that follow trulydo“astonish,bewilder,andstupefy.”Ialsohopetheywillpromptreaderstopondertheultimatefollyofwar,andwhyitisthatweneverquitemanagetomakeitathingofthepast.

371B.C.

THESACREDBAND

Anelitefightingunitlikenoother.

The Spartans of ancient Greece were among themost famous and fearsomewarriors of all time. Never have there been a people more single-mindedlydevoted to the military arts. Spartan boys were taken from home to attendmilitary school at age seven, andeverymalebetween twenty and sixtyhad toserveinthearmedforces.TheresultwasthatSpartafieldedthemostpowerfulmilitaryforceinGreece.Nevertheless,thevauntedSpartanarmywasdefeatedbyThebesatthebattleofLeuctra in371B.C.The turningpoint in thebattle camewhenaneliteThebanmilitaryunitknownastheSacredBandledabreakthroughagainst theSpartanright wing. Famed for both its fighting ability and its unusual makeup, theSacredBandconsistedof300soldierswhoallhadsomethingincommon.Theyweregay.Thisone-of-a-kindunitconsistedof150homosexualcouples.Theideawasthateverymanwouldbemotivated to fight tohismaximumabilityboth toprotecthisloverandtoavoidshaminghimselfinfrontofhislover.Inmodernmilitaryjargon, it was thought that this Theban “band of lovers” would enjoy a highdegreeofunitcohesion.And itworked.TheSacredBand stoodundefeated formore than thirty years.WhenitwasfinallyovercomeinbattleagainstMacedonians, it issaid that theunitwassounwillingtoyieldthateverysinglemanfoughttothedeath.

“PERISHANYMANWHOSUSPECTSTHATTHESEMENEITHERDIDORSUFFEREDANYTHINGTHATWASBASE.”—PHILIPIIOFMACEDON,VIEWINGTHEBODIESOFTHESACREDBANDSLAININ

BATTLEBYHISARMY

The Spartans were the original men of few words. Sparta was part of alarger area known as Laconia, which is where the word “laconic” comesfrom. The story is told that Philip II sent a threatening message to theSpartans, warning, “If I enter Laconia, I will level it to the ground.” TheSpartans’one-wordreply:“If...”

TheSpartans’dailyregimenwassodemandingthatPlutarchclaimedtheyweretheonlymenintheworldforwhomwarwasawelcomerestfromtraining.

213B.C.

ARCHIMEDES’SECRETWEAPON

HowoneoldmanheldoffanentireRomanfleet.

In213B.C., aRoman fleetunder thecommandofMarcusClaudiusMarcellusattackedtheGreekcity-stateofSyracuse.MarcelluswasconfidenthecouldtakeSyracuseinfivedays.Instead,ittookmorethanayear,thankstotheingenuityofoneoldman.Archimedes.Archimedesisbestrememberedforshouting“Eureka!”inhisbathandrunningthroughthestreetsnaked.Buttherewasmuchmoretothemanthanthat.HewasEinstein andEdison combined, the greatest scientist of the ancientworld, andalsoabrilliantinventor.AsthemilitaryadvisertothekingofSyracuse,hespentyearsdevisingmysterious“engines”toprotectthecity.WhentheRomanscame,SyracuseputArchimedes’machinestowork.There were large catapults capable of hurling rocks the size of wagons, andsmall catapults called “scorpions” that shot darts at the Romans. A giantgrappling claw lifted Roman ships by the bow and smashed them against therocks. Mousetrap-like mechanisms levered giant weights down upon Romansiegeladders.Thentherewerethemirrors.Archimedes, according to several chroniclers, created a series of mirrors thatcould focus the sun’s energy on ships and cause them to burst into flame—adeathrayintheancientworld.Marcellushadtoadmithecouldnottakethecitybystorm.Hewasforcedtolaysiegeto it formanymonthsbeforehefinallyfoundawayin.Archimedeswaskilledinthesackofthecity,butnotbeforedemonstratingthatthegeniusofonemancouldproveequaltoallthemilitarymightinRome.

“ARCHIMEDESUSESMYSHIPSTOLADLESEAWATERINTOHISWINECUPS.”

—ROMANGENERALMARCUSCLAUDIUSMARCELLUS

ArchimedessoterrorizedRomansailorsthateverytimetheyspiedaropeorapieceofwoodstickingoutfromthewallsofSyracuse,theyfeareditwasanotherofhisfearsomeengines,andfled.“TheRomans”saidPlutarch,“begantothinktheywerefightingwiththegods.”

Numeroushistorianshaveexpressedskepticismaboutthemirrors.Butin1747,FrenchscientistGeorge-LouisLeclercdeBuffonpulledoffasuccessfuldemonstrationofthetechnique.Heusedanarrayofmirrorstomakeapieceofwoodtwohundredfeetawayburstintoflame.ItwasagreatPRstuntthatmadehimfamousacrossEurope.

52B.C.

UPAGAINSTTHEWALL

HailCaesarandtheboldtacticsthatledtohisgreatestvictory.

JuliusCaesarhadjustsufferedhisfirstdefeatinsixyearsasaproconsul.Thetribes of Gaul, united at last, were threatening his demise. A long way fromRome,hewasshortonfood,andhadnohopeofreinforcements.Thiswas theprologue foroneof themostboldlyconceivedbattles inmilitaryhistory.When Caesar came upon an army of eighty thousand Gauls holed up in thefortifiedtownofAlesia,heorderedhis legionstobuildasiegewallencirclingthetown.ThenCaesarlearnedthatanotherarmyoftwohundredthousandGaulswascomingtocrushhisarmyandliftthesiege.Whattodo?Caesar’ssolutionwasasdaringas itwasinnovative.Heorderedhis legions tobuild a second set of fortifications around the city.While the first wall facedinward, this one facedoutward, encirclinghis armyandprotecting it from theoutside.Military history records nothing else like it. Caesar had surrounded an army

largerthanhisown,andthenfoundhimselfsurroundedbyasecond,stilllargerarmy.WhentheGaulsattacked,theRomanforcesbetweenthetwowallsfoundthemselvesfightinginbothdirections,againstarmiesthatoutnumberedthemsixtoone.Impossible as it seems, Caesar won this battle, personally leading his reserveforceoutofthefortificationstoattackatacriticalmoment.Hedefeatedthearmysurroundinghim,forcingthesurrenderofAlesiaandthearmywithin.That decisive victory brought peace to Gaul. Caesar’s reputation, alreadyglittering,soaredtonewheights.Andanemperor’sthroneawaited.

ThedoublesiegewallsbuiltbyCaesar’sarmywereoneofthegreatestmilitaryengineeringfeatsinhistory.Thesereconstructedfortificationsshowthecomplexityofthewalls,completewithearthworks,trenchesfilledwithsharpenedstakes,woodenguardtowers,andpalisadewalls.Remarkably,theRomanscompletedthetwosetsoffortificationsinlittleoveramonth.

Thecapturedsoldiersinsidethetownbecametheslavesofthesoldierswhohaddefeated them.Theywere lucky.Afterconqueringonerebellious town,Caesarordered thateveryonewhohadbornearmsagainsthimshouldhavetheirhandschoppedoff,asawarningtoothers.Caesar’seight-yearconquestofGaulmadehimrich,famous,andpowerful,but theprovincepaidahighprice:amilliondead,amillionmoreenslaved,andeighthundredtownstaken

bystorm.

TheinnerandouterlinesofCaesar’sfortificationswereabouttwohundredyardsapartattheirclosestpoint,nearlyathousandyardsapartattheirwidest.

60A.D.

WARRIORPRINCESS

ShetookonthearmiesofRome...andalmostbeatthem.

Hellhathnofurylikeawomanscorned.AndQueenBoudiccahadbeenworsethanscornedbytheRomans.Afterthedeathofherhusband,whowaskingofaCeltic tribe known as the Iceni, Roman authorities moved in to annex hiskingdom,plunderhisproperty,andhumiliatehisfamily.WhenBoudiccadaredtoprotest,shewasfloggedandherdaughterswereraped.TheRomanssoondiscoveredtheerroroftheirways.Boudiccavowedvengeance,andraisedahugearmyofCeltstoexpeltheRomanoppressors. She attacked a Roman colony at Colchester, slaughtering itsresidentsandputtingittothetorch.InformedthattheRomanNinthLegionwasrushing to the colony’s aid, she laid an ambush and annihilated 1,500 eliteRomaninfantryman.When the Roman governor heard she was marching on London, he and his

forces abandoned the city.A prudentmove. Boudicca’s angry armymurderedandmutilatedeveryonetheyfoundthere,andburnedLondontotheground.TheRomanswereterrifiedofBoudicca.Thoughnostrangerstothebrutalityofwar themselves,herblood lustastounded them.“TheBritishcouldnotwait tocut throats, hang, burn, and crucify,” wrote Roman historian Tacitus, whoestimatedthatherarmykilledseventythousandRomansoldiersandcivilians.EventuallytheRomansscrapedtogetheranarmytomeetBoudiccainbattle,anddefeated theCelts.Tensof thousandsofBoudicca’s soldierswere slaughtered,andshechosetotakepoisonratherthanbecaptured.RomewouldruleBritainforthreemorecenturies...buttheyneverforgotthewarriorwomanwhoalmostvotedthemofftheisland.

Boudicca’storchingofLondonleftanindeliblemarkonthecitythatremainstothisday.Archaeologistsdiggingdownthroughthestratahavefoundalayerofashthreefeetthickfromthetimeofthefirethattestifiestothetotaldestructionshewreakeduponthecity.

“SHEWASVERYTALL,INAPPEARANCEMOSTTERRIFYING,INTHEGLANCEOFHEREYEMOSTFIERCE...AGREATMASSOFTHETAWNIESTHAIRFELLTOHERHIPS.”

—ROMANHISTORIANDIOCASSIUS,DESCRIBINGBOUDICCA

532

DARINGDANCER

Thecircusgirlwhosavedanempire.

Theodorawasastripteasedancerwithoneheckofanact.Crowdsflocked tothe circus inConstantinople towatchher dancehalf-nakedwith lions.OneofthosewhofoundhimselfmesmerizedbyTheodorawasJustinian,nephewoftheemperorandnextinlinetoruletheByzantineEmpire.HefellinlovewiththebeautifulTheodoraandmarriedher.WhenJustinianeventuallybecameemperor,Theodorabecamehisempress.Luckyforhim—becauseherfearlessnesswouldonedaysavehisempire.AfewyearsintoJustinian’sreign,ataxrevoltbrokeout.Therewaschaosandrioting in the streets. It seemed the end of Justinian’s reignmight be at hand.Shaken, theemperorpreparedtoflee.Ashipwasorderedtostandby,readyatanymomenttotakehimandhiswifeintoexile.ButTheodorawouldn’thaveit.Theonetimecircusgirlmadeitclearshewouldrather die than surrender the royal rank she had attained. “Royalty is a goodburialshroud,”Theodoracalmlytoldherhusband.HerwordsfilledJustinianwithnewresolve. Insteadof fleeing,hesentouthisimperialguardtofighttherebels,whowereeventuallycrushed.Justinian and Theodora reigned together for another twenty-one years, andJustinianforseventeenmoreyearsafterherdeath.

“MAYINEVERBESEPARATEDFROMTHISPURPLE.”—THEODORA,EXPRESSINGHERFIERCEDESIRETOHOLDONTOHERROYAL

STATUS

Menofsenatorialrankwereforbiddentomarryactressesanddancers,whowereconsideredlittlebetterthanprostitutes.Justinianhadtoconvincehisuncle,

theemperor,torepealthatlawsohecouldmarryTheodora.

Famednineteenth-centuryactressSarahBernhardtasTheodora.

732

ANISLAMICEUROPE?

ImagineNotreDameCathedralasamosque.Itcouldhavehappenedbutforonepivotalbattle.

Intheyear610,theangelGabrielcametotheProphetMuhammadinadream.ThuswasIslamborn,anditsoonspreadlikewildfire.Bytheyear732,justonehundred years after Muhammad’s death, an Arab empire with thirty millionMuslim subjects stretched from India all the way to Spain. It seemed only amatteroftimebeforeallofEuropefellunderIslam’ssway.Someof themostardentconvertswerenomadicMoors inNorthAfrica.Theyweredeterminedtospreadthewordwiththeirswords.In732,amightyarmyofeighty thousandMoors roared throughSpain,crossed thePyreneesMountains,and rode into what is now France. “Everything gave way to their scimitars,”wroteoneArabchronicler.TheMoorssweptawayeverythingintheirpath,andcamewithinahundredmilesofParis.ButfateintervenedintheformofCharles,kingoftheFranks.HeledhisarmysouthfromParisandmettheMoorsnearthetownofTours.Inadesperatebattle,

his foot soldiers beat off attack after attack from theMoorish horsemen, andfinallyroutedtheenemy.TheBattleofToursmayhavebeenoneofthemostimportantinhistory.HadtheMoors been victorious there,much of Europemight have been dominated byIslaminsteadofChristianity...andtheworldwouldbeaverydifferentplace.

ThebattleearnedKingCharlesaferociousnickname.HenceforthhebecameknownasCharlesMartel,inEnglish,CharlestheHammer.

“THETWOGREATHOSTSOFTHETWOLANGUAGESANDTHETWOCREEDSWERESETINARRAYAGAINSTEACHOTHER.”

—ANARABCHRONICLEROFTHEBATTLE

832

SPOILSOFWAR

HowanIslamicinvasionledtooneoftheworld’swonders.

An armyofArabs,Berbers, andSpanishMoors invadedSicily in 832.TheywereknowntoEuropeansastheSaracens.Withinfiftyyearstheyhadtakenovermostoftheisland,andtheyruleditinthenameofIslamfortwocenturies.In 1004 the Saracens sacked the Italian city-state of Pisa. The citizens therethoughtofthemselvesastraders,notfighters,butinresponsetoSaracenattackstheybuiltupanavytodefendthemselves.Thentheyturnedthetablesontheirone-timeinvaders,undertakingadaringraidonPalermo,thecapitalofSaracenSicily. They ravaged the city, sinking many Saracen ships. Only one enemyvesselremainedafloat,anditwasusedtobringbackashiploadofplunder.Back home, the powers that be decided that a portion of the booty should beused to fund the construction of a grand cathedral, which was duly built. Acathedral wouldn’t be complete without a bell tower, and in 1172 a wealthywidow named Berta Di Bernardo left “sixty coins” in her will for theconstruction of one.Work began immediately but kept getting interrupted bybattleswithFlorenceandotherItaliancity-states.Ittookalmosttwocenturiestofinishit.

Maybe that’s where the problem began. Or maybe it would have happenedanyway,whatwiththestructure’sshallowfoundationandshiftingsubsoil.ForofcoursethecathedralbelltowerthatthePisansbuilthadaflaw.Aflawthatwouldonedaybeseenasit’sgreatestglory,andmakeitknownaroundtheworld.FromanIslamicinvasionandawidow’swill:theLeaningTowerofPisa.

Inthesummerof1944,thefateofthetowerwasinthehandsofU.S.ArmysergeantLeonWeckstein.TheGermanswerethoughttobeusingthetowerasanobservationpost.Wecksteinwassentforwardwithorderstocallinanartillerybarrageifhesawanymovementinit.“HadIseentheglitterofoneshinybutton,evenforasecond,thetowerwouldhavebecomeapileofgravel,”hesaidlater.Seeingnothingsuspicious,however,Wecksteinheldoffgivingtheorderforthetower’sdestruction.Eventually,Alliedgeneralsdecidedtosparethelandmark.

Thetowerwasn’tevenfinishedin1298whenthefirstcommissionwasformedtolookintoitsstability.Seventeensuchcommissionshavebeenformedoverthecenturies,somehelping,somehurting.Scientistsbelievethatthemostrecentcommission’seffortshavestabilizedthetowerforthenextfewhundredyears.

1090

HISTORY’SHITMEN

Thegroupthatmayhavebeentheworld’sfirstterrorists.

During the eleventh century, a rebellious Islamic sect took command of amountaintop castle outside of Teheran. They set about trying towin converts,andsoonheldachainofcastlesacrosstheMiddleEast.This breakaway group of radical Shiites waged war against the rulers of theIslamic world, chiefly through acts of terrorism and “hits” carried out onpolitical leaders. Their weapon of choice was the dagger, and they murderedprinces, scholars, crusaders, and caliphs—whoever were their enemies of themoment.In many ways, they were the Al-Qaeda of their day. Their specialty wasdramatic, high-profile killings—sometimes for the purpose of advancing theiragenda, other times to raise money. Members of the group believed that themurderstheycarriedoutwouldearnthemimmediateandeternalbliss.Formorethan150yearstheyheldsway.Inthe1200s,Mongolwarriors,ledbyGenghis Khan’s grandson, Hulagu, captured their mountain strongholds, andtheirreignofterrorwasover.

CrusadersbroughttalesofthisfactionbacktoEurope.Theirverynameevokedshiversofterror,anditisstillrememberedtoday.Wheneverapoliticalleaderismurdered,itevokesthememoryofthisancientcultwhosemethodsseemalltoomodern.TheAssassins.

Theword“assassin”isactuallyacorruptionofthegroup’soriginalname,theHashishi.Crusaderswronglythoughtthatmeanttheterroristswerehashisheaters,whichaddedtotheirfearsomereputation.Otherstories,mostlymyths,alsocirculatedaboutthesect.OnetoldofhowtheirleaderorderedtwofollowerstojumpoffatowertotheirdeathssimplytodemonstratetosomevisitorsfromtheWestthetotalauthorityheheldoverhismen.

The founder of the Assassins was Hassan-I-Sabbah. Among those heorderedexecutedwerebothofhissons,onefordrinkingwine.Hissectcouldbeflexibleinitsallegiances.TheyexecutedCrusaderleaders,butalsocarriedoutexecutionattemptsonbehalfoftheCrusaderswhenitsuitedthem.

TheruinsofanAssassincastleinSyria.Itwasavirtuallyimpregnablefortresswiththreelayersofdefensivewalls.

1207

THESWALLOWSOFVOLOHAI

HowdidcatwhiskersandbirdwingshelpGenghisKahnconqueranempire?

GenghisKhanwasabrilliantmilitaryleaderwhounitedtheMongoltribesandcreatedafearsomearmywithhimselfatitshead.In1207hismensweptacrosstheGobiDesertandbegan toattackChina.But theywerehaltedat thewalledcityofVolohai,theirdreamsofconqueststalled.Herethehard-ridingMongolsdiscoveredthattheircavalrytacticswerevirtuallyuselessinattackingaheavilyfortifiedcity.Itwastimeforsomeoutside-the-boxthinking,andthegreatKhanwasuptothechallenge.Heoffered toend the siege inexchange for anunusual tribute:onethousand cats and ten thousand swallows.One can imagine the puzzlement ofthetown’sdefendersuponreceivingthismessage,buttheydecidedtocomply.Wrongdecision.Whentheydeliveredthetribute,Kahnorderedhismentotiepuffsofcottontotheanimals’ tails,and thenset thecottononfire.Thefrightenedcreaturesfledbacktotheircity.Athousandfiresseemedtobreakouteverywhereatthesametime,andthecitizensofVolohairushedtofightthem.Atthatmoment,theMongolsattacked!Volohaifell.Andthoughitwouldtakedecades,allofChinawouldfollow.

AnotherstrategyofKhanwastomarchnewlycapturedlocalsatthefrontofhisranks.Inhabitantsoftheareaunderattackwouldbehesitanttohurttheirneighbors,shieldingtheMongolsuntiltheygotcloseenoughtoattack.

HisexperienceatVolohaipersuadedGenghisKhantoadoptsomeofhisenemy’stactics.Hebegantousesiegeengines—catapults,towers,andexplosives—

mannedbycapturedChineseengineers.ThesegavehisarmytheabilitytoattackthefortifiedwallsofChinesecities.

1281

DIVINEWIND

ThestormthatsavedJapan.

Thiswaswaronanunprecedentedscale.KublaiKhanhadalreadycompletedthe conquest of China begun by his grandfather, Genghis Khan. Now he hadassembled 140,000 warriors to invade the Japanese islands. A fleet of ninethousand ships carried them to Japan. It seemed that nothing could stop themfromdefeatingJapanandabsorbingitintotheMongolEmpire.But everything changed when the winds suddenly rose with a fury and apowerful typhoon slammed into the Japanese coast, wreaking havoc on theinvasionforce.Shipsweredashedupontherocks.Thousandsdrowned.Chinesewarriorswhomanagedtostaggerashorewereeasypreyfor theJapanese,whoslaughtered thematwill. It is thought thatasmanyas100,000of the invadersperished.Japan was saved. The Japanese people gave credit to the gods, calling thetyphoonthatwreckedtheinvasionforce“TheDivineWind.”Itwasanamethatwouldbecomefamiliarinanotherwarcenturieslater,whenitwouldbeadoptedbyJapanesewarriorswillingtosacrificetheirownlivesina

last-ditchbidtoturndefeatintovictory.Theytooreferredtothemselvesas“TheDivineWind.”OrinJapanese:Kamikaze.

ThiswasactuallythesecondtimeKublaiKhantriedtoinvadeJapan.Thefirsttime,sevenyearsbefore,asmallerinvasionforcewasalsostymiedbyatyphoonthatscatteredorsunkmuchoftheinvasionfleet.

AkamikazeplaneattackingtheUSSMissouriinAprilof1945.IthittheMissouriaglancingblowmomentsafterSeamanLenSchmidtsnappedthispicture,butnooneontheshipwashurt.DuringthelastyearofWorldWarII,suicideplanessunk34U.S.shipsanddamaged288.MorethanfourthousandJapanesepilotssacrificedtheirlivesinkamikazemissions.

1287

ARMSRACE

Onestorythatmaywellbealoadofmanure.

It began as a “fire drug” developed by Chinese alchemists. It eventuallyexplodedintoafuelforkillingthatisnownearlyathousandyearsold.Gunpowder.The first known Chinese recipe for gunpowder dates back to 1044. CannonsappearedinChinaacenturyorsolater,butguntechnologydidn’treallytakeoffuntiltheweaponsmadetheirwaytoEuropesometwohundredyearsafterthat.It didn’t take long for the Europeans to turn primitive “bombards,” as earlycannonswereknown,intowonder-weaponsthathelpedthemextendtheirpowerovermuchoftheglobe.If theChinesehadcannonsfirst,howwasit that theEuropeanswonthatearlyarmsrace?The most effective gunpowder is about three-quarters saltpeter, mixed withcharcoalandsulfur.Andthemostcommonsourceforsaltpeterthenwasanimal

dung.But theChinesehad fewerdomesticatedanimals than theEuropeans, sosaltpeter was harder to come by in China. Made with less saltpeter, Chinesegunpowderwaslesspowerful.Being comparatively richer in farm animals, and thus saltpeter, theEuropeanswereabletomakemorepotentgunpowder,whichpavedthewayforbetterandmoreeffectiveweapons.Andthat’snobull.

OncecannonswereintroducedtoEurope,everyprincewantedhisown.Butcannonswereexpensive,andcashinshortsupply.ThensilverwasdiscoveredinthemountainsofwhatisnowtheCzechRepublic,nearthetownofJoachimsthal.Themillionsofcoinsmintedtherewereknownasthalers—or,astheycametobecalledinEnglish,“dollars.”Thenewcurrencyhelpedmakegunmanufacturingagrowthindustry.

Duringthe1300s,Chineseengineersfocusedtheirenergiesnotsomuchonguns as on bombs. These were launched by catapults and given fantasticnamessuchas“DroppingfromHeavenBomb,”and“BanditBurningVision-ConfusingMagicFire-ball.”

“ACHILD’STOYOFSOUNDANDFIRE.”—ROGERBACONIN1267,THEEARLIESTKNOWNEUROPEANREFERENCETO

GUNPOWDER

1314

DANGEROUSGAMES

Atripbacktothedaywhensoccerandgolfwereathreattonationalsecurity.

In1314,England’sKingEdward II issued a royal edict banning the gameofsoccer. Itwasn’tbecausehewasmorallyopposed to thegamebutbecausehebelieved that it’s very popularity was a threat to his realm. He decreed harshprisontermsforanyonefoundplaying.OtherBritishkingsfollowedsuit.EdwardIII,RichardII,andHenryIVissuedtheirownbans.In1457,KingJamesIIofScotlandbannedsoccerandgolf. In1491,ScottishkingJamesIVissuedthisdecree:“Itisstatuteandordainedthatin no place of theRealme there be usedFute-ball,Golf, or uther unprofitablesports.”Sowhatwas it about soccer andgolf and“uther” sports thatwas suchahugethreat?The kings considered these activities “unprofitable” because theyweredistractingmenfromarcherypractice,whichwasessentialtothedefenseoftheircountries.Withoutapopulaceof trainedarchers,neitherEnglandnorScotlandcouldraiseeffectivearmiesintimesofcrisis.But kings’ edicts ultimatelyprovednomatch formen’s passion for sport.Thelawswereignoredandeventuallyforgotten.Soccerandgolfcontinuedtothrive,despitethekingswhosawthemasanational-securitynightmare.

“WECOMMANDANDFORBIDONBEHALFOFTHEKING,ONPAINOFIMPRISONMENT,SUCHGAMESTOBEUSED.”

—EDWARDII,BANNINGSOCCERIN1314

Notallroyaltywasdownongolf.MaryQueenofScotswasanavidgolfer.Shepaidapriceforitin1563,whenshewascastigatedfortakingtothelinksshortlyafterthemurderofherhusband(inwhichshemayhavehadahand).

1428

GODISINTHEDETAILS

JoanofArc’sname is so familiar thatwe forgethowamazingher story reallywas.

JoanofArcwas justaseventeen-year-oldpeasantgirlwhenshe ledaFrencharmytoamomentousvictoryagainsttheEnglishatOrleansin1428.Joanhadbeenhearingvoicessincetheageofthirteen,andtheytoldherthatGodwantedhertohelpCharles, theDauphin(heir totheFrenchthrone),defeat theEnglish and be crowned king.What she did to make that happen—in a timewhenwomenwereregardedasproperty—beggarstheimagination.

1.Shetalkedheruncleintotakinghertothelocalmilitarycommander.2.SheconvincedthecommandertoprovideamilitaryescorttotakehertotheDauphin.

3.SheconvincedagroupofprieststhatGodwasreallyspeakingtoher,andthatsheshouldbeallowedtomeetwiththeDauphin.

4.InlessthanfiveminutessheconvincedCharlestogiveheranarmy.5.ShepersuadedgrizzledveteransofthewaragainstEnglandthattheyshouldtakeordersfromaseventeen-year-oldgirl.Further,shegotthemtogiveupcursingandsexwhileservingunderher.

6.Inanagewhenwarmeanthand-to-handcombat,evenforcommanders,Joansurvivednumerousbattleswhileneverwieldingaweapon.

7.NotonlydidsheleadherarmytovictoryatOrleans,shealsoliberateddozensofFrenchtownsanddefeatedanotherBritisharmyatPatay.

Was Joan actually inspired by God? Her soldiers thought so, and so did theCatholic Church, whichmade her a saint. If divine inspiration didn’t actuallyplayarole,Joancertainlyhadamazingpowersofpersuasionandonehellofarunofluck.

“HEREBEGINTHEPROCEEDINGSINMATTEROFFAITHAGAINSTADEADWOMAN,JEANNE,COMMONLYKNOWNASTHEMAID.”

—THEOPENINGWORDSFROMTHERECORDOFJOANOFARC’SHERESYTRIAL

CapturedbyoppositionFrenchforcesandhandedovertotheBritish,Joanwastriedforheresy.Thetrialwasriggedandtheverdictcertain,thoughtheprosecutioncouldnotproduceasinglewitnesstospeakagainsther.Nonetheless,shewasburnedatthestakeonMay30,1431.

1452

WEAPONSWIZARD

Themachinationsofamilitarymaestro.

LeonardodaVinciwasapainter,asculptor,ascientist,andanengineer.Hewasalsoaone-manmilitaryindustrialcomplex.Althoughhedescribedhimselfasapacifist, and called war “the most bestial madness,” da Vinci had a lifelongfascination with all things military. He designed an astonishing number ofweaponsandcombatdevices,manyofthemcenturiesaheadoftheirtime.Inhisnotebookscanbefounddesignsforaself-propelledarmoredtank,agiantmechanical crossbow, a machine gun, and a helicopter. He sketched out agrenadewithtailfinstobelaunchedbyabowman,andaprefabricatedportablebridge that armies could use to cross small steams.DaVinci even designed asteam-powered cannon, which he claimed could fire a sixty-pound ball adistanceoftwo-thirdsofamile.WhilemanyofLeonardo’sideasnevergotoffthedrawingboard,othersprovedhighly practical. During his career da Vinci served as a military engineer toseveralEuropeanwarlords,includingthenotoriousCesareBorgia.Hedesigned

fortifications so advanced that nothing like themwas seen again for centuries.Hecreatedmortarsthatraineddownashowerofstonesonenemyheads.HaddaVincipushedhisconceptsharder,hemighthavedramaticallychangedthe face of Renaissance warfare. But he was notorious for leaving a projectunfinishedandmovingontothenextgrandidea.Leonardo is best known today as the artistic giant who painted the enigmaticMonaLisa.Butitmaybeinthemilitaryartsthathisgeniusshowedthroughthemost.

ThetankthatLeonardodesignedwasarmoredwithheavywoodenbeamsandpropelledbymeninsideoperatinghandcranks.Itwasdesignedtomakequickpenetrationsintoenemylinesthatcouldbefollowedupbyinfantry...whichisexactlyhowmotor-driventankswerefirstusedmorethanfourcenturieslaterinWorldWarI.

“WHATEVERTHESITUATION,ICANINVENTANINFINITEVARIETYOFMACHINESFORBOTHATTACKANDDEFENSE.”

—LEONARDODAVINCI,INALETTERTOTHEDUKEOFMILAN

WhentheleadersofFlorencesoughtdaVinci’sadviceinattackingPisa,hecame upwith a scheme to divert the riverArno,whichwould deprive thePisans of water and cut off their access to the harbor. Breathtaking inconception,itwas,likemanyofdaVinci’sideas,toodifficulttoexecute.Theeffortwasultimatelyabandoned.

1519

SIEGEOFBREADANDBUTTER

Afamousscientist,atastyspread,andawartimeoutbreakofdisease.

ToPolish astronomerNicolasCopernicusweoweour understanding that theearthmovesaroundthesun,notthesunaroundtheearth.Itwasadiscoverythatrevolutionizedscience.Dowealsoowetohimthecustomofputtingbutteronourbread?In1519,CopernicuswascalledupontocommandPolishforcesbesiegedinthefortifiedtownofAllenstein,aPolishtownonthePrussianborder.Duringthesiege,thetownwasstruckbyplague.Copernicusisolatedthetown’sbreadasbeingthesourceofthedisease.Buthesuspectedthatitwasn’tthebreaditself,ratherthefactthatsomethingwascontaminatingit.Sanitary conditions in the beleaguered town were marginal at best, and thecoarse black loaves could be dropped in the dirty streets, or otherwisecontaminated,withoutevenshowingit.That’s when a fellow by the name of Gerhard Glickselig suggested toCopernicus that the bread loaves be coveredwith a thin layer of light-coloredspread.Thatwouldmakeitobviousifthebreadwasdroppedorifdebrisfellon

it, and people could avoid eating it. Copernicus ordered it be done, and theplaguesoonended.Thusweremarriedbreadandbutter,atleastforthefirsttimethatweknowof.Itdidn’tbecomecommoninEuropeuntilthefollowingcentury.AndsowehonorCopernicus as a man ahead of his time in matters of cuisine as well as thecosmos.

Truetoform,Copernicusemployedthescientificmethodtodiscoverthesourceofthedisease.Hedividedthetown’sresidentsintofourgroupsandfedthemdifferentthings.Thegroupthatgotnobreadwastheonlyonethatremainedplaguefree.

AllensteinwasbeingbesiegedbytheTeutonicKnights,areligiousorderofGermanknightsformedinJerusalemduringtheCrusades.LatertheyconqueredPrussia,andbattledwithPolishkingsforcenturies.

Copernicus’srevolutionarytheoryabouttheearthrevolvingaroundthesunwaspublishedonhisdeathbed,sparinghimconflictwiththeVatican,whichwouldplagueGalileoandotherswhofollowedinhisfootsteps.

1592

FIGHTINGTURTLES

Themostamazingwarshipsyou’veneverheardof.

ThefamousCivilWarbattlebetweenMonitorandMerrimacin1862usheredintheageofironcladwarships.Orsoitisgenerallyassumed.Infact,abrilliantKoreanadmiralintroducedtheironcladmorethan250yearsearlier.JapaneseinvaderslandedinKoreain1592,andwonseveralquickvictories.ThecountrywasonthevergeofdefeatuntilKoreanadmiralYiSun-Sinsteppedintothe breachwith a fleet of innovative vessels he had helped design. He calledthem kobukson, or “turtle ships.” These were the world’s first ironclads, theearliestancestorsofmodernwarships.Theturtleshipshadroundedroofscoveredwithironplatingandspikestowardoffboarders.Portscutintothesideoftheturtleshipscouldaccommodateuptotwenty-six cannons.The fearsomewarships bore a remarkable resemblance totheCivilWar ironclads thatwould see action centuries later, except that theywerepoweredbyoarsmeninsteadofsteamengines.

TheJapanesehadmanymoreshipsthantheKoreans,but theyfoundthat theirgunscouldnotpenetrate thearmor,andtheirfirearrowsfailedtoset theturtleshipsablaze.Amastertactician,AdmiralYiusedthekobuksontowinaseriesofbattlesagainstthelargerJapanesefleet,enablingKoreatodriveofftheJapaneseinvaders. In 1598, during a second Japanese invasion, Yi achieved an evenbiggervictory,destroyingmorethantwohundredJapaneseships.AdmiralYiwaskilledinthatbattle,andhisdeathspelledthedeathoftheturtleships. No one else had the vision to use them effectively, so the age of theironcladwarshipwouldhavetowait.

Some forty thousand Japanese sailors and soldierswere killed inYi’s lastbattle.That’smorethantwicethenumberofSpanishwhodiedwhenEnglanddefeatedtheArmadain1588.

Therearenosurvivingturtleships,oreventheplansfromone.ThisreplicawasbuiltfromadescriptioncontainedinAdmiralYi’sdiaries.Smokecouldbepouredoutofthedragonhead,atacticAdmiralYiusedtoconfuseandfrightentheJapanese—thefirstrecordeduseofasmokescreeninanavalbattle.

LikeAdmiralNelsoncenturieslater,Yiwaskilledathismomentofsupremevictory,abouttowinabattlethatwouldsavehishomeland.Hislastwords:“Donotweep,donotannouncemydeath.Beatthedrum,blowthetrumpet,wavetheflagforadvance.”

1618

AFALLING-OUTINPRAGUE

Itmighthavebeendownrightfunny...ifithadn’tstartedawar.

InMayof1618,threemenwerehurledoutahighwindowofHradcanyCastleinPrague.Insteadofbeingkilledorbadlyhurt,theylandedinadungheapthatcushionedtheirfall.Theytooktotheirheelsandscamperedoff,theirpridebeingtheonlythingseriouslyinjured.Theeventsoundsalmostcomical,butitprovedtohavetragicresults.ThemenwereofficialrepresentativesoftheRomanCatholicHapsburgemperor.An enraged crowd of Protestant nobles had thrown them out the window toprotesttheclosingofseveralprotestantchurches.Thisactofrebellionoutragedtheemperor,andtriggeredawar.It began as a struggle between Catholics and Protestants in Bohemia. SoonAustria got involved, then Denmark and Sweden. Shortly thereafter, Poland,

France, and theNetherlands joined in. The scandal in Bohemia had explodedinto a seemingly endless conflict that engulfed much of Europe: the ThirtyYears’War.Tenmillionpeoplewoulddieinthewar,morethanaquarterofthepopulationofCentralEurope.Whenitwasover,theauthorityoftheRomanCatholicChurchwasdealtamajorblow.Whatemerged from thewarwasaEurope filledwithsovereign states that could choose their own religions . . . theEuropewe stillknowtoday.

Theincidentbecameknownasthe“DefenestrationofPrague”—defenestrationbeingafancywordforthrowingsomeoneoutthewindow.IthasahistoryinPrague.Twohundredyearsbeforethisdefenestration,severaltowncouncillorswerethrownoutthewindowofPragueCityHall,aneventthatsparkedawarofitsown.

Whenapeaceconferencewasfinallycalledtoendthewar,itrequiredsixmonths of negotiations just to agree on where everyone would sit. Afteranotheryearofdiscussions,theTreatyofWestphaliawassigned.

Themenwerethrownoutofthemiddlesetofwindows.Themonumentbelowmarkswheretheylanded.TheyclaimedtheVirginMaryhadmagicallyappearedtocushiontheirfall,butonlookerssaiditwasmanurepiledupinwhatwasatthattimethecastlemoat.

1620

DREBBEL’SDREAM

Theforgottenvesselthatwasthefirstofitskind.

Drebbelwasajackofalltrades:glassmaker,engraver,alchemist,doctor,and,ofcourse,inventor.Despitehismanyskills,hediedinpovertyin1634.

Not longafter thePilgrimssetsail fromEnglandaboard theMayflower,a fardifferent vessel ventured forth on a journey up London’s Thames River. Ittraveledonlya fewmiles,but itdid something theMayflower didnotdo, andcouldnotdo.Ittraveledunderwater.The vessel, designed by Dutch inventor Cornelius Drebbel, was the firstsuccessfulsubmarineeverbuilt.DrebbelhadbeenhiredasacourtinventorforEngland’sKingJamesandwastryingtoconvincetheRoyalNavythatthiswasthevesselofthefuture.Drebbeltookafishingboatandbuiltawoodenroofoverit.Thenhecoveredthe

whole thing with greased leather. It was powered by twelve oarsmen, whobreathed air that came through a snorkel tube. A sloping foredeck acted as adivingplane, and thevesselmovedup the river about twelve feet underwater.ObserverssaidittraveledfromWestminsterPalacetoGreenwich,adistanceofaboutfourmiles,inthreehours.Thesuccessfultestoftheboatpiquedtheking’sinterest,andDrebbelbuilttwolargerversionsofhissubmarine.Itissaidthatthekingeventookarideinoneofthem.ButtheRoyalNavyneverdidcottontothecontraption.Theyjustcouldn’timagine that a vessel that traveled underwater could have anymilitary use. Itwouldbenearlythreecenturiesbeforetheychangedtheirminds.

ThefirstsubmarineemployedformilitarypurposeswastheTurtle,designedbyDavidBushnellofConnecticut.Theone-mansubtriedtoattachaminetoaBritishman-of-warinNewYorkHarborin1776.Theeffortfailedandthemineexplodedharmlessly.WroteGeorgeWashingtonlater:“Ithought,andstillthink,thatitwasaneffortofgenius.”

“ACONCEITOFTHATDESERVEDLYFAMOUSMECHANICIANANDCHYMISTCORNELIUSDREBBEL.”

—DESCRIPTIONOFDREBBEL’SBOATBYSIRROBERTBOYLEIN1662

ThefirstsubmarinesuccessfullyusedinbattlewastheHunley,aConfederatesubmarinethatrammedtheUSSHousatonicwithanexplosivetorpedoin1864.TheexplosionsanktheHousatonicbutalsosenttheHunleytothebottomoffthecoastofCharleston,SouthCarolina,costingthelivesofeveryoneaboard.

1642

BEESINBATTLE

Battlefieldshavebeenabuzzwithbeesfromancienttimestilltoday.

In the closing stages of the Thirty Years’ War, a Swedish army assaultedKissengen, a walled city in Bavaria. The desperate defenders responded bythrowingbeehivesoffthewallintotheranksoftheSwedes,whowereforcedtoretreatinthefaceofstingingattacksfromtheangryswarmthatenvelopedthem.Thiswashardlyunprecedented.Whenfacedwiththequestion“Tobeeornottobee?”armiesthroughouttheageshaveconsistentlyansweredintheaffirmative.TheRomansfrequentlyloadedtheircatapultswithbeehivesandlaunchedthemupontheirenemies.KingRichardtheLionhearteddidthesamethingagainsttheSaracensduringtheCrusades.TheSaxons,theMoors,andtheHungariansalsousedtheminvariousbattles.Beeshavebeenused at sea aswell.There is at least one recorded instanceofsailorsonasmallshipintheMediterraneanclimbingtheriggingandthrowingbeehivesdownontothedeckofanattackinggalley,instantlyturningthetablesonthelargership.Bee warfare hasn’t gone out of style, either. Both sides in Vietnam createdfearsomeboobytrapsusinghivesofAsianhoneybees,largerandmoreferociousthan their Western cousins. And at the dawn of the twenty-first century,Pentagonscientistsaretryingtorecruitbeesintothewaronterror,trainingthemto sniff out explosives.Theyhope thebeeswill be able touncover landminesandbombfactories.Thatwouldbeahoneyofatrick.

In the so-called Battle of the Bees duringWorldWar I, both British and

GermanforcesfightingfortheEastAfricancityofTangaweretormentedbyswarmsof angrybeesprovokedbymachine-gun firedisturbing their nests.Somesoldierswerestunghundredsoftimes.DuringtheBattleofAntietaminthe Civil War, the 132nd Pennsylvania Infantry was routed by bees afterConfederateshellsbrokeopenanearbyfarmer’sbeehives.

Beesmaylookfierce,butthetruthisthattheytendtorespondonlywhenprovoked.Hiveshandledwithcarecouldbetransportedorloadedonacatapultwithlittleproblem.Oncedashedagainstawallorontheground,however,theirpeace-lovingpopulationsturnintowingedwarriorsseekingvenomedvengeance.

TheRomansmadesuchfrequentuseofbeehivesintheircatapultsthatsomehistoriansfeelitcontributedtoamassivedeclineintheEuropeanbeepopulationduringthelaterstagesoftheRomanEmpire.

1683

THESIEGETHATGAVEBIRTHTOTHECROISSANT

AninvadingTurkisharmyprovidestheinspirationforabreakfastdelicacy.

The croissant is not French—it was first baked in Austria. And its shape isanythingbutanaccident.Thepopularpastrydatesbackto1683.InthatyearanarmyofmorethanonehundredthousandOttomanTurkswasbesiegingthecityofVienna.They surrounded it formonths, and residents inside the stoutwallsbegantowonderifeachdaywouldbetheirlast.When the Turks tried tunneling under the walls, bakers working through thenight heard the digging sounds and raised the alarm. This early warningprevented the Turks from breachingVienna’s walls, and helped save the city.EventuallyanarmyunderPoland’sKingJohnIIIreachedViennaanddrovetheTurksaway.Thebakerscelebratedtheendofthesiegeinaremarkableway.Theycopiedthecrescent moon from their enemy’s flag, and turned it into a commemorativepastry. ItwascalledaKipfel (German for“crescent”)and ithonoredavictorythatmightneverhavehappenedbutforthebakersthemselves.

TheSiegeofViennaisalsobelievedbymanytobethebirthplaceofthebagel.KingJohnofPolandwaswidelyknownasaskilledhorseman,andabakersupposedlycreatedarollintheshapeofastirruptohonorhim.TheAustrianwordforstirrupisBügel—eventuallyAmericanizedto“bagel.”Canitbetruethatonebattledidsomuchforsomanybreakfasts?

Kipfelsturnedinto“croissants”in1770whenfifteen-year-oldAustrianprincessMarieAntoinettearrivedinFrancetomarrythefutureKingLouisXVI.Parisian

bakersstartedturningoutkipfelsinherhonor,andtheFrenchfoundthemselvesinlovewithabreakfasttreatthattheysoonmadetheirown.

1739

WAROFJENKINS’EAR

TheoddlynamedconflictthatinspiredanAmericanlandmark.

AdmiralVernonwasknownas“OldGrog”becauseheworeagrogram(gross-grain)cloakinstormyweather.Afterhedilutedhissailors’rumrationwithwater,thedisgruntledseamennamedthewatered-downdrinkaftertheircommander:grog

NowarinhistoryhasamorestrikingtitlethantheWarofJenkins’Ear.RobertJenkinswasaBritishseacaptainwhoseshipwasboardedbytheSpanishCoastGuardintheCaribbean.AccordingtoJenkins, theSpanishcaptaintiedhimupandcutoffhisearwithasword.HewassoangrythathebroughttheseveredeartoParliament,promptingtheprimeministertodeclarewaronSpain.Actually,thingswerealittlemorecomplicatedthanthat.Jenkinsdidn’texhibithiseartoParliamentuntilsevenyearsafterhesaiditwascutoff.Somepeoplewondered aloud if that shriveled thing in the box really was his severed ear.Criticsclaimedhehadlosthisearinabarfight,andthatthewholethingwasa

politicalstuntdesignedtoforceawartheprimeministerdidn’treallywant.Whatever the truth, theallegedbrutality inflamedpublicopinion.Englandwasenraged,andwarwaswaged.TheBritishheroofthiswarwasAdmiralEdwardVernon.Todaywerememberhimlessforhisexploits,perhaps,thanforwhatheinspired.Oneofhisofficerswasayoungcolonialwhoowneda farminVirginiacalledtheLittleHuntingPlantation.LawrenceWashingtonwassoimpressedwithhissuperior officer that he renamed the farm inVernon’s honor.When Lawrencediedafewyearslater,hisyoungerhalfbrotherGeorgeinheritedtheplace.

Mount Vernon. Home of President George Washington. And America’s onlymonumenttotheWarofJenkins’Ear.

“ICOMMENDEDMYSOULTOGOD,ANDMYCAUSETOMYCOUNTRY.”

—JENKINS’STIRRINGDESCRIPTIONOFHOWHEREACTEDTOHAVINGHISEARCUTOFF

VernonachievedfameforhisattackontheSpanishcolonialtownofPortoBello,nowapartofPanama.Heattackedwithjustsixmen-of-warandemergedvictorious.Londonersareremindedofthebattle(orshouldbe)whentheygoshoppingontonyPorto-belloRoad.

1755

ADANDYTALE

Asoldiers’songthatmadehistorybyswitchingsides.

During the French and Indian War, a British surgeon named RichardSchuckburg put pen to paper to write some new words to an old folk tune.Schuckburghadthereputationforbeingadeliciouswit.Soonhislyrics,whichridiculed colonial militiamen fighting alongside British soldiers, were oneverybody’slips.“YankeeDoodleDandy.”IntheyearsleadinguptotheAmericanRevolutionthissongofinsultbecameafavoriteofBritishsoldiersservinginNorthAmerica.Theydreamedupcountlessnew verses mocking the colonials they were growing to detest, as a way ofputtingthoseuncouthAmericansintheirplace.OnApril19,1775,asBritishtroopsmarchedoutfromBostontoLexingtonandConcord,fifeanddrumplayedthetunewhilesoldierssangmerrilyalong.Later

inthedayastheyfoundthemselvesinadesperatebattlewithanarmyofrebels,thesongcouldbeheardagain.But this time itwas the colonialswhowere singing it, throwing the insultingtunebackinthefaceoftheBritishtroopsastheyretreatedbacktoBostonunderheavyfire.“Damnthem,”saidoneBritishofficerlater,“theymadeusdanceittillweweretired.”AfterthatitneversoundedassweettoBritishearsagain.

Colonists claimed it as their own, sometimes referring to it now as the“LexingtonMarch,” and taking a newdelight in the self-mockingwords. Thesongcametohaunt theBritish,whohadtolistentoitbeingplayedwhentheysurrenderedatSaratogaandYorktown.Andthat’showadittywrittentoridiculebecameAmerica’sfirstnationalsong.

Theoriginoftheword“Yankee”isdisputed,butthemostlikelyexplanationisthatitisfromtheDutchformofthenameJohnnie,“Jancke”(pronouncedyan-kee),whichwasusedbyDutchcolonistsinNewAmsterdamasadismissivewordforEnglishresidentsofNewEngland.

YANKEEDOODLECAMETOTOWNRIDINGONAPONY,STUCKAFEATHERINHISHAT,ANDCALLEDHIMMACARONI.

Dozens,ifnothundreds,ofverseswerewrittenforthesongincolonialtimes.Theselines,amongtheearliest,refertoaclassoffoppishdandiesinLondonwhoworeoutlandishclothesandtriedtothrowaroundItalianphrasestoshowhowculturedtheywere.Theywerecalled“Macaronies.”

“ITWASNOTALITTLEMORTIFYINGTOHEARTHEMPLAYTHISTUNE,WHENTHEIRARMYMARCHEDDOWNTOOURSURRENDER.”

—BRITISHOFFICERTOMANBURY,FOLLOWINGTHEBRITISHSURRENDERATSARATOGA

1775

OLDMAN’SFIGHT

Respectyourelders...especiallywhenthey’rearmed!

Warisusuallyconsideredayoungman’sendeavor.ButonApril19,1775,thefirstdayoftheAmericanRevolution,theoldergenerationgottheirlicksintoo.AtthebattlesofLexingtonandConcord,colonialmilitiaclashedwiththedreadRedcoatsandsent themfleeingbacktoBoston.OnemilitiamanwhoansweredthecallthatdaywasSamuelWhittemore.Whittemorewasseventy-eightyearsoldandcrippled,but thatwasn’tgoing tostophim.Heheadedouttojointhefight,andhedidn’tgolightlyarmed,either.Hecarriedarifle,twopistols,andanoldcavalrysaber.AstheBritishapproached,hetookupapositionbehindastonewallandgotoffsuch accurate fire that theBritish sent a detachment to rout him out.As theydrewclose,theoldmankilledonewitharifle,andshottwomorewithhispistol.He was reaching for his cavalry saber when they finally fell upon him. OneBritish soldier shot him in the face, while others, whipped into a frenzy,

bayonetedhimtimeaftertime.SamuelWhittemoresufferedfourteenseparatewounds.Whenhewasbroughttoa doctor, theman just shook his head. Itwas clear thatWhittemore had littlechanceofsurviving.ButSamuelWhittemoredefiedtheoddsandlivedon.Helivedlongenoughtosee the British defeated, the Constitution ratified, and George Washingtonbecome president. He was ninety-six when he finally died, a remarkableeighteen years after the battle in which that senior soldier fought to makeAmericafree.

Inanotherepisode,agroupofoldmenambushedaBritishammunitionwagon,gunningdowntwoBritishsoldiersanddrivingofftherest.SeveralofthesoldiersfleeingtheambushcameuponanimpoverishedoldwomannamedMotherBathrickandbeggedhertoaccepttheirsurrenderandescortthemtosafety.ThisledcriticsofthewarbackinEnglandtoposethisrhetoricalquestion:“IfoneoldYankeewomancantakesixGrenadiers,howmanysoldierswillittaketoconquerAmerica?”

1775

FIGHTINGWORDS

Theoutdatedweaponthatwecan’tstoptalkingabout.

The flintlock was invented in France in 1610 and came to American shoresshortlythereafter.Formorethan200years,theflintlockplayedamajorroleinAmericanhistory.FlintlockmusketsandpistolsweretheweaponsofchoiceintheAmericanRevolution,theWarof1812,andtheCivilWar.Andthoughtheyhavebeenobsoleteformorethanacentury,theyliveoninourlanguage.Tofireaflintlock,theshooterfirstcockedthehammerpartwaysothathecouldsprinkle somepowderonto theprimingpan—buthehad to remember to cockthehammertherestofwaybeforefiring.Otherwisethegunwouldgooffhalf-cocked.When the triggerwas pulled, the hammer brought down a piece of flint withgreat force, creating a shower of sparks. If the powder in the pan ignited butfailedtosetoffthechargeinsidethebarrel,theresultwasashowybutuselessflashinthepan.Whenthathappened,nooneknewwhenorifthegunwasgoingtogooff.Itwassaidtobehangingfire.

Bytheway,the“lock”inflintlockreferredtothefiringmechanism.Itwasoneof threemajorpartsof thegun:only ifyouhad the lock,stock,andbarreldidyouhaveeverything.Remembertheflintlock!

Themostfamousflintlockwasthe“BrownBess,”usedbyBritishsoldiersformorethanacentury,andeventuallyimmortalizedbyRudyardKipling:

Itwasaflintlockriflethatfiredthe“shotheardroundtheworld”onApril19,1775,thatbegantheAmericanRevolution.

BrownBesswasapartnerwhomnonecoulddespise...Withahabitoflookingmenstraightintheeyes.AtBlenheimandRamillies,fopswouldconfessTheywerepiercedtotheheartbythecharmsofBrownBess.

1776

THEGENERAL’SGAMBIT

A bold deception gave George Washington his first victory in the AmericanRevolution.

AfterspendingthewinterholedupinCambridge,GeneralGeorgeWashingtonwas determined to drive the British from Boston. One morning when theRedcoatsthereawoke,theywereshockedtofindthatthehillslookingdownonBostonwerebristlingwithcannon.Washingtonwasthrowingdownthegauntlet,hisgunspoisedtoblowtheenemytokingdomcome.The British chose not to fight. They evacuated ten thousand men and twohundredwarships.Bostonwasfreewithoutashotbeingfired.But what the British didn’t know was that Washington’s gambit was anenormous bluff. Despite the awesome display of force, he lacked one keyingredienttobackitup:gunpowder.Washingtonwassoshortongunpowderthathisarmywouldhavebeenableto

throwonlyafewshotsattheBritishbeforeretreating.Sosevere,infact,wasthecolonialpowdershortagethat theBritishcouldhaveeasilytakenWashington’sarmyandcrushedthenascentrebellionanytimeduringtheprevioussixmonths.Ifonlytheyhadknown,Americanhistorymighthavetakenaverydifferentturn.Washingtonmayhavelackedgunpowder,butheprovedtohavesomethingmoreimportant: the nerve and audacity thatwould be needed to see theRevolutionthroughtothefinish.

ShortlyaftertakingcommandofthearmyinJuneof1775,Washingtondiscoveredthathehadonlyenoughgunpowderforeachsoldiertofireahandfulofbullets.BrigadierGeneralJohnSullivandescribedthemoment.“TheGeneralwassostruckthathedidnotutterawordforhalfanhour.”

GunpowderwasinshortsupplybecausetheBritishhadlongdiscourageditsmanufactureinthecolonies.TheproblemwaseventuallyeasedbyimportinglargequantitiesfromFrenchtraders.Butevenfiveyearslater,justbeforetheBattleofYorktown,Washington’ssupplyofpowderwasreportedtobeina“wretchedandpalsiedstate.”

“TOMAINTAINAPOSTWITHINMUSKETSHOTOFTHEENEMYFORSIXMONTHSTOGETHERWITHOUTPOWDER...ISMORETHANPROBABLYEVERWASATTEMPTED.”

—GEORGEWASHINGTON,INALETTERTOCONGRESS,JANUARY1776

WithWashington’scannonsfrowningdownonthem,LordHoweandhisBritisharmycompletedtheirevacuationofBostonbyseainlessthantwoweeks.

1776

FORGOTTENFIGHT

BigbattleintheBigApple.

ThebiggestbattleoftheAmericanRevolutionis,oddlyenough,alsooneoftheleastremembered.ItwasfoughtonthestreetsofNewYork.TheBritishinvasionfleetcontainedmorethanfourhundredshipsandtransportscarryingthirty-fivethousand soldiers and sailors, the biggest British Expeditionary Force untilWorldWarI.Facingthemweretwenty-fivethousandinexperiencedmenunderthe commandofGeorgeWashington,whohimself hadnever led a large armyintobattle.It was the first and only full-scale conflict of the war. From August untilNovember of 1776, these two armies clashed in a series of engagements thatrangedacrossBrooklyn,upanddownthestreetsofManhattan,intoHarlemandWestchester,andfinallyacrosstoNewJersey.It’slargelyforgottentoday,forasimplereason:thecolonialssufferedacrushingdefeat.Washingtonlostmorethanthree-quartersofhisarmy.Whowouldwanttorememberthat?

Thebattle,however,deserves toberemembered.This iswhereAmericacouldhave lost the fight for independence in anafternoon . . . butdidn’t. Instead, itbecame the placewhere an armyof green soldiers began to learn the trade ofwar.The Battle of Trenton, fought byWashington’s decimated army a few weekslater,iscelebratedasagreatAmericanvictory.TheContinentalArmywonthatfightusinglessonslearnedthehardwayinthebattleforNewYork.

ThemostfamouscasualtyofthebattlewasacaptainfromaConnecticutregimentnamedNathanHale,rememberedromanticallyasthespywho“hadbutonelifetogivehiscountry.”TheBritishviewedhimfarlessromantically:theybelievedthatinadditiontobeingaspy,HalewasoneofthecolonialarsonistswhohadtorchedNewYorkdaysbefore,destroyingone-quarterofthecity.

TheBritishcameashoreinBrooklyn,usinglandingcraftthattheyhadconstructedonStatenIsland.Theboatshadhingedbowsthatcouldbeletdownandusedasramps,muchliketheHigginsboatsofWorldWarII.

1777

MIRACLEATSARATOGA

Thedebtofgratitudeweowetoamostunlikelyhero.

On a hillside near Saratoga,NewYork, a bitter battlewas raging between aragtag American army and crack British troops. One of the Americans’ bestofficers was stewing on the sidelines. He’d been quarreling with thecommandinggeneralfordays,andjusthoursbefore,hehadbeendismissedforinsubordination.Butonce thebattlebegan, theheadstrongofficercouldn’tstayaway.Damninghisorders,hedownedaslugofrum,leapedontoaborrowedhorse,andraceduptothefrontlines,saberflashing!Menralliedaroundhim,andheledthemintothe teeth of British fire. He galloped his horse from one part of the field toanother,underconstant fire, leadingdevastatingattacksonenemypositions.Abullet shattered his leg and downhewent—but not before helping to rout theRedcoats.

Thevictory at Saratoga, proving as it did that theBritishwere not invincible,convincedFrancetoenterthewaronAmerica’sside.Thatturnedouttobethekeytoultimatetriumph.Thanksinlargeparttotheheroicofficerwhojustafewyearslaterwouldmakehisnameasynonymfortreacheryandbetrayal:BenedictArnold.

Injoiningthebattle,Arnoldwavedhisswordsowildlythatheinadvertentlyinjuredoneofhisfellowofficers.

ItwasjustthreeyearslaterthatArnold,angryatwhathefeltwasshabbytreatmentbyCongress,offeredtohandovertheAmericanfortatWestPointtotheBritishfor£20,000.Whentheplanwasfoundout,heescapedtoawaitingBritishshipandlaterbecameabrigadiergeneralintheBritisharmy.

TheAmericancommanderatSaratoga,HoratioGates,didn’thavetobeintroducedtodefeatedBritishgeneralJohnnyBurgoyneatthesurrenderceremony.TheyhadbothbeenjuniorofficersinthesameBritishregimentthirtyyearsbefore.

1778

TRICKORTREASON

Afrontierfolkheroaccusedofbeingatraitor.

Whileothercaptivesweretreatedbadlyandforcedtorunthegauntlet,BoonewasadoptedbytheShawneechiefandgiventhenameBigTurtle.Thisaloneconvincedseveraloftheothercaptives,whowerelaterransomed,thatBoonehadbetrayedthem.ButtheincidentmayjusthavebeenoneexampleofBoone’slegendarysurvivalskills.

DanielBoone:chargedwithtreasonandfacingthegallows.Itdoesn’tquitefitwith his heroic image, but that’s what happened during the AmericanRevolution.CapturedbyShawneeIndiansin1778,BooneconvincedtheothermembersofhishuntingpartytosurrendertotheShawneewithoutfiringashot.Hewasthen

overheard conspiring with the Shawnee and British officers to surrender thetown of Boonesboro, Kentucky, which he himself had founded. One of thecaptivesevensaidBoonetookanoathofallegiancetotheBritish.All of this painted a picture of treachery and betrayal. After returning toBoonesboro, Boonewas placed under house arrest, chargedwith treason, andtriedbycourt-martial.Surprisingly, Boone denied none of the facts. But he said it was part of a“stratagem”todeceivetheBritishandsaveBoonesboro.HegotcapturedbytheIndianshimself,hesaid,becausehewasinhismid-fortiesandnotasfastasheusedtobe.Hesurrenderedthehuntingpartyratherthanseethemallgetkilled.HehadspuntalestotheBritishandIndianstobuytime,sothathecouldescapeandwarnthetown.Boone must have been convincing, because he was found innocent on allcharges. But hard feelings remained. The famous frontiersman moved awayfrom Boonesboro a year later, leaving the treason charges behind him, andtravelingapaththatwouldonedayseehimelevatedintoanAmericanlegend.

“WEWEREORDEREDBYCOLONELBOONETOSTACKOURGUNSANDSURRENDER.”

—MEMBEROFTHEHUNTINGPARTY,TESTIFYINGATTHETRIAL

BoonefoundedBoonesboroin1775,afterleadingapartythatblazedatrailthroughtheCumberlandGapandbuilttheWildernessRoad.

1788

BULLDOGOFTHEBLACKSEA

ThelastcruiseofAdmiralPavel.

In 1788, Catherine the Great appointed a combative new commander to asquadronofRussianwarships.“Onemorebulldogfor theBlackSea,”said theRussian empress, who charged Rear Admiral Pavel Dzhones with the task ofliberatingthatbodyofwaterfromtheTurks.AdmiralPavel tookcommandof twelvewarships at themouthof theDnieperRiver and quickly lived up toCatherine’s expectations.Hismastery of tacticsenabledhimtoprevailoverlargerTurkishforcesinseveralengagements,andhedemonstrated great personal courage by leading his own ship alongside aTurkishgalleytoengageinfiercehand-to-handcombat.Theadmiralhopedhiseffortswouldbringhimgreat fame.“Lovingglory,”hewrotetoCatherine,“Iamperhapstooattachedtohonors.”But itwasn’t tobe.Back-stabbingcolleaguesreapedthecredithedeserved.Hewasdismissedfrom

hiscommandandneverwenttoseaagain.But while political intrigue denied Admiral Pavel the chance to become areveredRussianhero,heisrememberedforearlierexploitsondifferentoceans.ForthemanwhofoughthislastbattlesundertheRussianflagwasScottishbybirthandAmericanbychoice,afightingcaptainwhosestirringvictoriesintheAmericanRevolutionliveontoday.HisserviceasaRussianadmiralislongforgotten.Hisimmortalwords“Ihavenotyetbeguntofight”canneverbeforgotten.PavelDzhones:JohnPaulJones.

Jones’sfinesthourcamein1779.CommandingtheBonhommeRichard,hefoughtafiercethree-hourbattlewiththelargerBritishshipSerapisoffthecoastofEngland.Calledupontostrikehisflagandsurrender,hefamouslyrefusedandeventuallywonthebattleeventhoughhisownshipwassobadlydamagedthatitlatersank.

America’sfirstnavalherowasbornJohnPaul.TheScottish-borncaptainofamerchantshipintheCaribbean,hekilledasailorduringanattemptedmutinyin1773.HefledtothecolonyofVirginiatoavoidtrialandaddedthenameJonestofurthercoverhistrail.

DidJonesactuallyutterthephraseheiscreditedwith,“Ihavenotyetbeguntofight”?AnofficeraboardtheBonhommeRichard recalled thosewere thewords Jones used—but his account came forty-six years later. Severalaccountswrittenshortlyafter thebattlehaveJonessaying,“Imaysink,butI’llbedamnedifIstrike.”AndanothereyewitnesswrotethatJonesshouted,“Yankees do not haul down their colors until they are fairly beaten.”Whatever his actual words, his spirited refusal to give up was more thanclear.

1794

REVOLUTIONARYPENCIL

Howawartimecrisistransformedthewaywewrite.

In1794,justfiveyearsaftertheFrenchRevolution,FrancewasatwarwithjustabouteveryoneelseinEurope:England,Spain,Prussia,andAustria.Worsestill,thebeleagueredFrenchwereinshortsupplyofapreciousmilitaryweapon.Pencils.Quillpensweremessyandhardtouse,especiallyforanarmyonthemove.Ifyouwantedtojotdownamessageorsketchenemyfortifications,apencilwasinvaluable. But the graphite needed tomake pencil leadwas foundmostly inEngland and Prussia—now France’s enemies. With a dwindling supply ofgraphite,andnowaytogetmore,Francefacedapotentialpaucityofpencils.TheFrenchministerofwardecidedtodrawontheexpertiseofahighlytalentedinventornamedNicolas-JacquesConté.Conté’sideawastomakealittlegraphitegoalongwaybygrindingitintoafine

powderandmixingitwithsomethingelse.Butwhat?Otherinventorshadtriedglue,gum,shellac,evenwhaleoil—butnoneworked.The inventorexperimentedforeightdaysandnightswithoutstopping.Finally,he discovered the answer. He combined the graphite with clay, pressed themixture into molds, and then fired them inside a kiln. The result: dozens ofpencils from a very small amount of graphite. Conté’s new method was astunningsuccess.Itisstillthewaypencilsaremadetoday.In January 1795, Conté obtained French patent number 32. And the modernpencilwasborn.

ContésavedthedayforNapoleonduringhisinvasionofEgyptin1798.WhentheFrencharmylostmuchofitsmunitionsandinstrumentsafteronebattle,Contéputhisgeniustoworkimprovisingallsortsofmachinesandtoolsthatenabledthearmytokeepfighting.

Contédiscoveredthatusingmoreclaycreatedaharderpencil,lessclayasofterpencil.Hedesignedfourgradesofpencil—theoriginoftheschoolchild’sno.2.

1796

AMERICA’SWORSTGENERAL

Drunkard,traitor,thief,incompetent...andCommanderoftheU.S.Army.

WeallknowAmerica’sgreatgenerals:Washington,Grant,andEisenhower,tonamebutafew.Chancesare,however,you’veneverheardofthemanwhomaywellbeAmerica’sworstgeneral.His namewas JamesWilkinson, and his résumé is a litany of corruption andtreachery.

•DuringtheAmericanRevolutionheplottedtooverthrowGeneralWashington.LaterheconspiredwithAaronBurrtolopoffafewstatesandturnthemintoanindependentcountry.(HeeventuallyinformedonBurrtosavehisownskin.)•WhileservingasaU.S.ArmygeneralhealsospiedonAmericaforSpain.(Spanisharchivesshowthat“Agent13,”astheycalledhim,waswellpaidforhisreports.HeeventookanoathofallegiancetothekingofSpain.)

•Appointed“clothiergeneral”ofthearmy,hehadtoresignthepostafteranauditsuggestedhewassiphoningoffmoneyforhimself.•HewassuchamilitarybumblerthatduringaninvasionofCanadaintheWarof1812,hisforceof4,000wasrepulsedbyamere180Canadians.(Ofcourse,hewassohighonalcoholandlaudanumthathemaynothavenoticed.)

In spite all the scandals, he rose through the ranks to become commander inchiefof theAmericanarmyin1796.Hewasamasterof intrigue,anexpertatcoveringhis tracks, and a consummate flattererwhocultivated friends inhighplaces.Threecourts-martial,severalcongressionalinvestigations,andnumerousboardsofinquiryfailedtolayafingeronhim.GeneralJamesWilkinson:ascoundrel,asneak,aspy—andasurvivor.

“AGENERALWHONEVERWONABATTLEORLOSTACOURT-MARTIAL.”

—HISTORIANROBERTLECKIE

“IWOULDRATHERBESHOTTHANSERVEUNDERWILKINSON.”

—PRESIDENTJAMESMONROE

“THEMOSTFINISHEDSCOUNDRELTHATEVERLIVED.”—VIRGINIACONGRESSMANJOHNRANDOLPH

“ATRAITORTOEVERYCAUSEHEEMBRACED.”—HISTORIANSAMUELELIOTMORRISON

1801

BLINDMAN’SBLUFF

It’stheordersyoudisobeythatmakeyoufamous.

HoratioNelson.AdmiralNelson.LordNelson.Perhaps themost famousandreveredofficerevertotreadthedeckofaBritishnavalvessel,heisbestknownfor his famous victory at Trafalgar in 1805. It was there, aboard the HMSVictory,thathesignaledtoallhisshipsthat“Englandexpectseverymantodohis duty.” It was there he defeated Napoleon’s fleet, saving England frominvasion,beforedyingfromwoundssufferedinthebattle.Butitwasatanotherbattle,fouryearsearlier,thatheaddedacolorfulphrasetotheEnglishlanguage.At the Battle of Copenhagen, Nelson was second in command to an elderlyadmiral named Sir Hyde Parker. Nelson led a squadron of ships on a daringattackagainsttheDanishfleet.Soonhewasheavilyengaged.From his flagship severalmiles away,Admiral Parker became convinced thatNelson’s squadronwasbeingdecimated, that thebattlewas lost.Hehoisted asignal flag ordering Nelson to withdraw. The younger admiral, knowing hisshipswereinflictingheavydamageontheDanes,paidnoattention.Whenoneofhisofficerspointed it out,Nelson reportedly raisedhis telescope tohis eyeandsaid,“Ireallydonotseethesignal.”Thenheproceededwiththebattle.

Buttheofficerknew,aseventuallyeveryoneinEnglandknew,thatNelsonhadput the telescopetohisblindeye.ThusNelsonwasable toclaimignoranceofthe order without disobeying it outright.Within the hour he had won a greatvictory,andgivenbirthtoanewexpression.Sothenexttimeyou“turnablindeye”tosomething,rememberthefamousBritishadmiralwhodiditfirst.

DanishlossesintheBattleofCopenhagenweresixthousandkilledandwounded,morethantentimestheBritishcasualties.ThevictoryearnedNelsonapromotionandcommandofhisownfleet.

“IHAVEONLYONEEYE—IHAVEARIGHTTOBEBLINDSOMETIMES.”

—ADMIRALNELSONTOHISFLAGCAPTAINDURINGTHEBATTLE

1802

THEFEVERFACTOR

HowanislandrebellionandalowlyinsecthelpedremakeAmerica.

Napoleon Bonaparte had big plans for the vast territory that France held inNorthAmerica.In1802hesentanarmyunderthecommandofGeneralCharlesLeclerc,hisbrother-in-law,totakecontrolofNewOrleansandopenthedoorforanewwaveofFrenchcoloniststopopulatewhathehopedwouldbeathrivingNewFrance.NapoleonorderedLeclerctostopoffalongthewayandreestablishFrenchruleinHaiti,whichhadbeenwrackedbyabloodyslaverebellion.TheHaitianswerenomatchforthecrackFrenchtroops,whowoncontroloftheislandinamatterofweeks.Butthenamoredeadlyenemyemerged.Themosquito.Springrainsbroughtcloudsofmosquitoesandanoutbreakofyellowfever.Thelocal population was largely immune; not so the French soldiers. Tens ofthousands perished. Leclerc himself died in October of 1802. Reinforcementsarrived,butmanyof themalsosuccumbed to thedisease.Meantime, the freedslavesofHaitirenewedthefightagainsttheirweakenedenemy,takingaseveretollwithpersistentguerrillaattacks.For France, it was nothing short of a debacle. Between the disease and thefighting, an estimated fifty thousand French soldiers died, and the restsurrenderedin1803.Withhisarmygoneandhisbrother-in-lawdead,NapoleongaveuponhisdreamsfortheNewWorld,decidinginsteadtosellFrance’slandinNorthAmericatotheUnitedStates.The Louisiana Purchase doubled the size of the young country. But it mightnever have taken place without the resilient rebels and the unmercifulmosquitoesofHaiti.

TheLouisianaPurchaseadded828,000squaremilesoflandtotheUnitedStates.Thepurchasepricewas$15million,whichcomesouttoamerethreecentsanacre.

TheslaverebellioninHaitiwasledbyToussaintL’Ouverture,aformerslavewhohadestablishedhimselfthereas“Governor-for-Life.”HequicklyagreedtoanarmisticewiththeFrench,whoshowedtheirgratitudebykidnappinghimandsendinghimofftoaFrenchprison,wherehediedbeforehecouldseeHaitiachievefullindependencein1803.

Itwasn’tuntilnearlyonehundredyearslaterthatU.S.ArmydoctorWalterReedprovedthatyellowfeveristransmittedbymosquitoes.

1803

SHELLSHOCK

Therevolutionaryweaponthatchangedwarfareforever.

Atthestartofthe1800s,anewweaponappearedonthebattlefieldsofEurope.ItwasthebrainchildofanEnglishofficerwhohadspentthirtyyearsperfectingit. A hollow artillery shell was filled with smallermusket balls, alongwith acharge of gunpowder ignited by a fuse. The shell could be launched long-distance at the enemy’s lines.When it exploded inmidair, it spread a deadlycarpetofmetalshardsoverawidearea.Theinventoroftheshelldevotedallhisfreetimetoperfectingit,pouringhislifesavingsintotheproject.TheBritisharmyfinallyadoptedtheshellin1803,andfirst used it in theNapoleonicWars. It proved frighteningly lethal onmassedtroops, and so terrified French soldiers that they believed the British hadpoisonedtheircannonballs.SirGeorgeWood,commanderoftheBritishartillery,creditedthenewshellwithplayingacritical role in thedefeatofNapoleonat theBattleofWaterloo.“Onthissimplecircumstancehingedentirelytheturnofthebattle,”helaterwroteinalettertotheshell’sinventor.Artillery became infinitely more terrifying and the name of the officer whoinventedtheshellbecameknownaroundtheworld:HenryShrapnel.

NapoleonorderedunexplodedBritishshellsdisassembledsohecouldfathomtheirsecrets—buthenevermanagedtoduplicatethem.

Shrapnel’sshellswerethe“bombsburstinginair”thatFrancisScottKeysawduringthebombardmentofFortMcHenryintheWarof1812.

1808

RUMREBELLION

Theconflictthatwasdéjàvualloveragain.

It was amutiny. There was no other word for it. It happened in New SouthWales,aBritishpenalcolonyinAustralia.AnewgovernorhadbeensentfromLondon,amanwithaquicktemperandakeensenseofduty.Hesooncameintoconflictwiththecolony’sofficercorps.Thegovernorconsideredhisofficersineptandcorrupt,andmovedtoshutdownthe thriving rum trafficking ring that they controlled. The officers claimed hewas a tyrant and was acting outside of the law. Eventually they decided todeposehim.Inwhatlaterbecomeknownasthe“RumRebellion,”threehundredsoldiers surrounded his house. They captured him at gunpoint and held himprisonerformorethanayear.Eventually, a dramaticpublic court-martial inLondonconvicted themutineers

andvindicatedthegovernor.Itwas an experience thatwould have tested anyman, but especially onewhomusthavefelt thathistorywasrepeatingitself inamannermostcruel.ForthegovernorofNewSouthWaleswasaBritishnavalofficerwhowasdiscoveringthatlightningcouldindeedstriketwice.He was William Bligh, the ship captain famously deprived of his commandnearlytwentyyearsbefore...inthemutinyontheBounty.

Blighwasatdinnerwhenhegotwordthatthemutineerswerecomingtoarresthim.Hehidoutinasmallservant’sroom,hopingtoescape.Thesoldierswhofoundhimclaimedhewashidingunderabed,whichledtomuchtauntingandaccusationsofcowardicethatseemtohavestungBlighmoredeeplythantherebellionitself.

ThemutinyontheHMSBountytookplacein1789.Setadriftinasmallboatwithahandfulofloyalseamenandlimitedsupplies,Blighsuccessfullynavigatedmorethanfourthousandmilestosafety.

1812

THEWAROFBADTIMING

Itbegantooquicklyandendedtoolate.

Themaincauseof theWarof1812wasBritain’s interferencewithAmericanshipping, stemming from aBritish embargo on tradewith France. TheUnitedStatestriedforyearstogettheBritishtochangetheso-calledOrdersinCouncilthatregulatedthehatedpolicies,buttonoavail.Sofinally,onJune18,1812,theUnitedStatesdeclaredwar.Badtiming.ItturnedoutthattheBritishgovernmenthadrevokedtheOrdersinCounciljusttwodaysbefore. Inotherwords, themain reason for thewarhaddisappeared.PresidentJamesMadisonlateradmittedthatifhehadknownofBritain’schangeof heart, hewould have held off declaringwar.But itwasmonths before thenewsreachedWashington...andbythenthediewascast.BritainandtheUnitedStatesfoughtformorethantwoyears.ThemostfamousbattleofthewarwasGeneralAndrewJackson’sdecisivedefeatoftheBritishattheBattleofNewOrleans,onJanuary8,1815.ItmadeJacksonanationalhero,andeventuallyledtohisbecomingpresident.

Morebadtiming.The Treaty of Ghent, officially ending the war, was signed on December 24,1814.Thebattle,inotherwords,wasfoughttwoweeksafterthewarwasover.

TheBattleofNewOrleanswasthemostlopsidedofthewar.TheBritishattackonAmericanlinesalongtheMississippiprovedabloodydisaster.TheBritishsufferedmorethantwothousandcasualties;theAmericanforces,onlyseventy.

It took twoyears to fight thewar, four andahalfmonths tonegotiate theTreaty of Ghent, and five weeks to get the documents from Europe toWashington.Afterallthattime,ittooktheSenateandthepresidentjustonedaytounanimouslyratifythetreatybringingthewartoanend.

1814

ANARMYOFTWO

HowapairofteenagegirlsoutwittedaBritishman-of-war.

InJuneof1814, theBritishfrigateHMSBulwark, bearing seventy-fourguns,raidedtheMassachusettstownofScituate,settingfiretosixshipsintheharbor.The town promptly formed amilitia company to protect itself. Themen heldtheir drills by the lighthouse, but as the summer went by without any moreincidents,theybegantolettheirguarddown.InSeptember,theBulwarkcamebackforanotherbite.RebeccaBates,theeighteen-year-olddaughterofthelighthousekeeper,spottedthe British ship sitting offshore. A longboat full of soldiers was setting offtowardtheharbor,wheretwomerchantshipspresentedajuicytarget.Herfatherwasn’taround.Therewasnotimetogettotowntowarnoftheattack.Then Rebecca noticed something the militiamen had left at the lighthouse,

somethingthatgaveheranidea:afifeanddrum.The soldiers had taught them a few songs over the summer. Now RebeccathoughttheycoulduseoneofthemtofooltheBritish.“Keepoutofsight,”shewarnedhersister.“If theyseeus, they’ll laughus toscorn.”The twogirlshidoutbehindaduneandplayed“YankeeDoodle”foralltheywereworth.TheBritishheardthealltoofamiliartunewaftingoverthewater.Itcouldmeanonlyonething:Americansoldiersweregatheringtorepeltheirattack.Asignalpennantwashoistedandtheraidingpartyabortedtheirmission.ScituatewassavedfromattackbyRebeccaandAbigailBates,foreverknowntotheirtownasAnAmericanArmyofTwo.

“YOUTAKETHEDRUMANDI’LLTAKETHEFIFE.”—REBECCABATESTOHERSISTERABIGAIL,ASTHEYPREPAREDTODRIVEOFF

THEBRITISH

RebeccaBateslivedtoagreatoldageandtoldmanypeopleofthedayshesavedScituate.Sheandhersisterevensignedaffidavitsswearingtotheaccuracyoftheirstory.

1814

“THESTAR-SPANGLEDBANNER”

Next timeyouhearournationalanthem, tipyourhat to thedrunkenRedcoatswhomadeitpossible.

Washington,D.C.,wasaflame,thankstoBritishsoldierswhohadputittothetorch.Withsmokestillrisingfromtheruins,theBritssetoutonamarchthroughMaryland.Aftermost of the soldiers had filedpeacefully through the townofUpperMarlboro, twodrunkenstragglerscamealongshoutingandcarryingon.Oneofthetownfathers,Dr.WilliamBeanes,wassoincensedwiththisbehaviorthathepersonallycartedthedrunkenRedcoatstojail.Butoneofthemenescaped,andbroughtbackmoreRedcoats.Theyreleasedthejailedsoldier,seizedthegooddoctor,andcarriedhimofftoaBritishfrigateinChesapeakeBay.Soalawyerfriendsailedouttonegotiatethedoctor’srelease.Just as he got there, the British began shelling nearby Fort McHenry, anddetainedbothmenuntiltheshellingwasover.Andthat’showalawyerbythenameofFrancisScottKeyhappenedtoobservethe flag over the fort still standing amidst the “rockets’ red glare.”His poem,“TheStar-SpangledBanner,”becameaninstanthit.The music? Key purloined it from a tune called “To Anacreon in Heaven,”which,appropriatelyenough,wasapopularEnglishdrinkingsong.

KeywrotethepoeminaBaltimorehotelroomthedayafterthebattle.Itwaspublishedforthefirsttimelessthanaweeklater.

IttookmorethanfortybillsandresolutionsinCongressbefore“TheStar-SpangledBanner”wasfinallyadoptedasthenationalanthemin1931.

1815

BADDAYATWATERLOO

Imagineyouwakeupfeelingill...anditcostsyouanempire.

Napoleon was ready for battle. He faced a host of enemies: a mighty armycomposed of British, Belgian, Dutch, and German units that had gatheredtogether for the express purpose of destroying him. But Napoleon was theworld’s greatest general. It would takemore than cannon and cavalry to stophim.Itwouldtakeanactofnature.Themightyemperorwassick.Hemorrhoidsandabladderinfectionstruckhimwithforceandfuryanddidwhatnoearthlyarmycould—renderhimim-mobile.Ingreatpainthenightbeforethebattle,hetookadoseofopiumthatcausedhimtosleeplateandlosecrucialhoursthatcouldhavemadethedifference.Themorningof thebattlehewas in suchpain that he couldbarelymounthishorse.Personalreconnaissanceofthebattlefieldwasoutofthequestion.Someaccountssayhetookmoreopium,whichmayhavecloudedhisjudgment.The emperor was not at his best, and his day went from bad to worse as he

sufferedanempire-endingdefeat.Ifonlyhecouldhavecalledinsick.

WhowontheBattleofWaterloo?Itdependsonwhomyouask.TheEnglishcredittheDukeofWellington,whocommandedthecombinedBritish,Dutch,andBelgianforcesthatbattledNapoleonmostoftheday.Bah,sayGermanhistorians;theyargueinsteadforMarshalBlücher,whoarrivedonthebattlefieldinthelateafternoonwithaPrussianarmythatdeliveredthedecisivecounterpunch.Eitherway,Napoleonlost.

1816

SPEARHEADINGAREVOLUTION

Asimpleideawithremarkableconsequences.

Whenyouthrowaspear—andmiss—younotonlydisarmyourself,yougiveaweapontoyourenemy.ThisradicalthoughtenteredthemindofaZuluwarriorsometimeshortlyafter1800,andhisresponsechangedthefaceofacontinent.The warrior, named Shaka, concluded that the age-old tactic of loftinglightweightspearsatenemyformationswasnext touseless.Hedevisedanewkindofstabbingspear,shorterandheavier,withabiggerblade,whichheusedtodrawclosetohisenemyandkilltheminhand-to-handcombat.It became known as the iklwa—for the sucking sound it made when it wasplungedintoandpulledoutofahumanbody.ShakaZuluused thisnewmethodof fighting tobecomeAfrica’smost famousand feared conqueror, aswell as one of the great commanding generals of alltime.Startingwith just a fewmenunderhis command,heendedup rulinganempireandcommandinganarmyofmorethanfiftythousand.Herevolutionizedwarfareon theAfricancontinent, introducingboldnewtacticsandtheconceptoftotalwar.TheresultwasthedeathofmorethantwomillionAfricans,depopulatingawideswathofsouthernAfrica,justaswhitesettlerswerebeginningtocolonize.

Asaboy,Shakawasexiledfromhisvillagealongwithhismother,andheremained unusually close to her.When she died, he ordered thousands ofZulus killed so that their families might mourn along with him. In hisderangedgriefheordered thatnocropsbeplantedandallpregnantwomenslain;evenmilkcowswerekilledsothattheircalvesmightknowwhatitwas

liketoloseamother.

“NGADLA![“IHAVEEATEN!”]”—CRYOFTHEZULUWARRIORAFTERSTABBINGTHEIKLWAINTOANENEMY

ShakawaschiefoftheZulusfrom1816until1828,whenhewasassassinatedbyhishalfbrother.

Zuluwarriorswieldingtheiriklwaspearswhileperformingawardance.Shakaalsotaughthiswarriorshowtohooktheleftedgeoftheirshieldbehindanopponent’sshield,thenspinhimaroundwithabackhandsweep,makinghimvulnerabletoastabbingthrust.

1825

BUDDINGSTATESMAN

HowaU.S.SecretaryofWarplantedtheseedforaChristmastradition.

JoelPoinsettwasanambassador, a congressman, andeventuallySecretaryofWar from 1837 to 1841. He holds the distinction of being the only U.S.statesman whose name was made into a word in two different languages—meaningtwodifferentthings.DuringPoinsett’syearsasambassadortoMexico,hegotalittletooembroiledinthe political intrigues swirling about Mexico City—some even said he wasplotting with revolutionaries who wanted to bring down the government.Mexican authorities grew angry at his heavy-handed interference in Mexicanaffairs, and they coined a new word to describe his officious and intrusivemanner:poinsettismo.Hewaseventuallyaskedto leaveMexico . . .butnotbeforehedidsomethingthatwecommemorateeveryChristmastothisday.Poinsettwasanavidbotanist,andhebecameenchantedwithaflowerhefoundthatgrewonlyinsouthernMexico.TheAztecscalleditcuetlaxochitl.Hebegangrowingtheflowersinhisgreenhouse,andstartedshippingsamplesbacktothe

UnitedStates.Eventually thewinter-bloomingplantbecameaholidayhit, andtheseasonofpeacebecamea littlebrighter thanks to the flower thatbears thenameofaSecretaryofWar.Poinsettia.

AsSecretaryofWar,PoinsetthelpedreorganizetheU.S.ArmyandexpandedWestPoint.HealsospearheadedthefoundingoftheSmithsonian.Butstill,itiswithaflowerthathemadethegreatestimpact.

ACaliforniaranchernamedPaulEckepioneeredtheideaofmarketingthepoinsettiaasaholidayflowerinthe1920s.HisuntiringeffortstopromotethepoinsettiaoverthenextfortyyearsmadeittheubiquitousChristmasfloweritistoday.

1836

DAVY’SDEATH

ThefinalmomentsofanAmericanhero.

For many, the enduring image of the Battle of the Alamo is Davy Crockettfighting like a wildcat to the bitter end. According to one dramatic accountshortly after his death, his body was found encircled by “seventeen deadMexicans,elevenofwhomhadcometotheirdeathsbyhisdaggerandtheothersbyhisrifleandfourpistols.”Sogoesthelegend.Whataboutthetruth?While the 189 Texans who fought at the Alamo were all killed, numerousMexicansoldierswroteaccountsofthebattle.TheypaintafardifferentpictureofCrockett’slastmoments.MexicangeneralSantaAnnaorderedhistroopsto“givenoquarter”whentheystormedtheAlamo,andthehand-to-handfightingthatfollowedwasbloodyanddesperate. It lasted until dawn. That’swhenCrockett and six othermenwerefound,quitealive,inabackroom,towhichtheyhadretreated.Crockett,byoneaccount, then tried to talk his way out, telling his captors he had planned tobecomealoyalMexicancitizen,andhaddonenofightingattheAlamo.

WhenthemenwerebroughttoSantaAnna,thegeneralwassoenragedthathis“take no prisoners” directive had been disobeyed, he ordered his soldiers toexecute the captives on the spot. “With swords in hand,” wrote oneMexicanofficer, they“fellupon theseunfortunate,defenselessmen just asa tiger leapsuponhisprey.”The truth was known within weeks of the battle, and published in manynewspapers.Butthemythprovedfarmoreappealing,andsoendurestothisday.

ThatCrockettfoughtbravelyisnotinquestion.AlettersmuggledoutoftheAlamorecountedthatduringaninitialbombardment,“TheHon.DavidCrockettwasseenatallpoints,animatingmentodotheirduty.”Butthereisnoevidencetosupportthelegendofhisfightingtohisverylastmoments.

MexicangeneralManuelFernandeCastrillónrecognizedthefamousfrontiersmanandpleadedwithSantaAnnatosparethecaptives.AnindignantSantaAnnarefused,saying,“HaveInottoldyoubeforehowtodisposeofthem?Whydoyoubringthemtome?”Thenheorderedtheexecution.

WhileCrockettcarefullycultivatedhisimageasabackwoodsman,hewaswellonhiswaytobecomingacareerpolitician.HespentfouryearsintheTennesseeLegislatureandsixintheU.S.Congressbeforehewasvotedoutofoffice.HecametoTexasinhopesofreplenishinghisfinancesandjump-startinghispoliticalcareer.

1839

TEAPARTY

HowdidBritain’sthirstfortealeadtoadrugwarinChina?

Atthebeginningofthe1700s,virtuallynooneinBritaindranktea.Bytheendofthe1700s,everyonedid.TheBritishweregulpingdownteaasfastastheEastIndiaCompanycouldimportitfromChina.Itwasanationalloveaffair.But there was a problem. The Chinese weren’t particularly interested inimportingEuropean tradegoods, soby theearly1800s it required themodernequivalentofabilliondollarsayear inhardcurrencytopayfor thetea.Silverandgoldwere flowingoutofEngland toChina,creatinga terribleproblem inforeigndebt.The solution? The East India Company, in collusion with the Britishgovernment, became the world’s biggest drug dealer. The company startedproducing massive amounts of opium in India, and worked out a complexschemetosmuggleitintoChinatotradeforthetea.Opiumshipmentsincreasedbyafactorof250.By1839,widespreadopiumaddictionwasaseriousprobleminChina.TheemperorofChinatriedtoputastoptothedrugtradethatwasruininghiscountry. His agents destroyed British stocks of opium in the trading port ofCantonandkickedtheBritishout.ButwouldBritainstandforthat?

NotforalltheteainChina.Britain respondedbygoing towar toprotect itsopium trade.TheOpiumWarwasaneasyvictoryfortheBritish,whoforcedChinatoletthetradecontinueforanotherseventyyears.Theresult:millionsofChineseaddictedtoopiuminordertosubsidizeBritain’slovefortea.

OneoftheconsequencesoftheOpiumWarwasthattheBritishtookcontrolofHongKong,whichremainedintheirhandsuntil1999.

Thefreshestteacommandedthehighestprice,sotheteatradelaunchedafleetof“clipper”ships,fastcargovesselsthatwouldraceacrosstheocean,toseewhocouldgetthefirstteaoftheseasonbacktoLondonthefastest.OneofthemostfamouswastheCuttySark,whichcouldcarrymorethanamillionpoundsoftea,andsailfromChinatoEnglandinunderahundreddays.

1842

SPENCER’SLEGACY

AhangingatseathatledtothecreationoftheNavalAcademy.

Philip Spencer was a fresh-faced twenty-year-old the day he was hanged.Spencerwasascrew-up.Hehadprettymuchflunkedoutoftwocollegesbeforehisfatherpulledstringstogethimanappointmentasamidshipman(anofficerintraining)intheU.S.Navy.Truetoform,Spencerpromptlygothimselfkickedoffashipfordrinking.Given a second chance on the brig Somers, he allegedly hatched a plot withsome crewmates to take over the ship. Accused of mutiny by the captain,Spencersaidhewasjustjoking.“Itwasonlyafancy,”hesaid.Spencerandtwoconfederateswerechainedtothequarterdeck.TheSomerswashundredsofmilesfromport,thecrewwasangryandresentful,anditseemedtotheofficersthatatanymomentthesailorsmightriseuptomurderthemandfreethethreeprisoners.SoCaptainAlexanderSlidellMcKenzie ordered that Spencer and his two co-conspiratorsbehangedfromtheyardarm.ButPhilipSpencerwasnotjustanyyoungman.HisfatherwastheSecretaryofWar, and his hanging shocked the nation. Some accused the captain ofoverreacting.Otherswantedtoknowhowanunqualifiedteenagercouldgetanappointmentasamidshipman,thenbeputaboardshipwithnotraining.

Thepubliccalledforreform.Justovertwoyearslater,inresponsetotheSomersaffair,anavalschoolwasfoundedtoturnmidshipmenintowell-trainedofficers.PhilipSpencercouldneverhaveimaginedthathisdeathmightpavethewayforthecreationoftheU.S.NavalAcademy.

As a student at Union College, Philip Spencer and a group of friendsfounded the Chi Psi fraternity, which has chapters at thirty-two Americancolleges and universities today. “He always took a great delight in theinitiations, grips, signs, and passwords,” wrote one of his fellow studentsyearslater,“andstudiedhowtomakethemmoremysteriousandimpressive.”

SecretaryofWarJohnSpencerwasintheforefrontofthosedemandingacourt-martialforCaptainMcKenzie,butanavycourteventuallyexoneratedhim.McKenzie’snavalcareerwaseffectivelyover,however,andhewasnevertrustedwithcommandofanotherwarship.

PhilipSpencerandhisco-conspiratorswerethelastmenevertobehangedaboardaU.S.navalvessel.SpencerwasalsotheinspirationforthetitlecharacterinHermanMelville’snovelBillyBudd.

1849

TERRORFROMTHESKIES

Themodestbeginningsofmodernairpower.

Squadronsofbombersoverheadwreakinghavocontargetsbelow—acommonfeatureofmodernwarfare.ButinMarchof1849,itwasjustacrazyideainthemindofanAustrianartilleryofficer.The Austrian army was besieging Venice as part of the War of ItalianIndependence.Themarshylagoonssurroundingtheislandcitymadeitdifficultfor theAustrians tobringup theirbigguns inorder tobombard theVenetiansinto submission. That’swhen LieutenantUchatius put forward an idea brand-newintheannalsofwarfare.Whynotdropbombsfromthesky?TheAustriansorganized two“AerialTorpedoSquadrons.”Eachcontainedonehundred unmanned hot-air balloons and one hundred bombs, which wereequippedwith fuses to release thebombsat apredetermined time.Smallpilotballoons were launched to determine wind speed and direction, enabling the

Austrians to calculate a departure point and fuse time that they hoped woulddropthebombsrightoverVenice.Aftermonthsofpreparation,theattackbeganinJuly.Someoftheballoonswerelaunched from a frigate anchored off Venice—the very first projection ofairpowerfromaship.Itwas an idea ahead of its time. The bombs did little damage toVenice, andwhen a fickle wind blew some of the balloons back over Austrian lines, theoperation was halted for good. The day of the bomber was still ahead, but athoroughlymoderntoolofdeathanddestructionhadbeenborn.

Eventually,aftertheballoonbombingfailed,theAustriansmanagedtobringuptheirgunsandbombardedVenicetheold-fashionedway.Thecitysurrenderedshortlyafterward.

TheRussiansactuallytriedtobecomethefirstaerialbombersin1812.EmperorAlexanderIorderedtheconstructionofahugefish-shapedballooncapableofcarryingmenandexplosives.TheideawastohoveroverNapoleon’sheadquartersanddropabombonit.Thefinsdesignedtosteertheballoon,however,couldnotbemadetowork,andtheattemptwasabandoned.

The initial idea for the aerial bombardment of Venice was to control theballoonbombswithlongcopperwires,usinganelectricbatterytolaunchthebombfromthegroundoncetheballoonwasoverthetarget.Butthisprovedtobeimpractical.

1854

THEARTOFWAR

Paintingapictureofmilitaryfailure.

ThecadethadsufferedhisshareofproblemsatWestPoint.Truthfully,themainreasonhewastherewasbecausehiswidowedmotherwantedhimtobecomeacareermilitaryofficerlikehislatefather.Hisfirstyear,hegotenoughdemeritstobekickedout.Butthesuperintendentofthe academy, a soon-to-be-famous colonel named Robert E. Lee, was kindenoughtoforgivesomeofhisdemeritsandallowhimtocontinue.Inhissecondyearhefellgravelyill,andColonelLeehadtowritehismothertocomegethim.Afterherecovered,though,hepassedallhisexams,evencominginnumberoneinhisdrawingclass.Thingswerefinallylookingup.And then, at the end of his third year, came the fateful exam. It was an oralexam,inchemistry,anditmaygodownastheshortestoralexaminWestPointhistory.Theinstructoraskedtheyoungmantodiscusssilicon.“Siliconisagas,”beganthecadet.

“Thatwill do,” the instructor interrupted him.With fourwords the cadet hadmanagedtofailchemistryandflunkoutofWestPoint.“Hadsiliconbeenagas,”hesaidlater,“IwouldhavebeenaMajor-General.”Butwhatthemilitaryworldlost,theartworldgained.Thecadetputhisskillatdrawingandpainting togooduse,becomingoneofAmerica’smost renownedartists:JamesMcNeillWhistler.And his mother, Anna, who wished for him a career in the military? She isrememberedashismostfamoussubject:Whistler’smother.

Apparently,agirlWhistlerwaspaintinghadanaccidentandwasnolongeravailabletopose.Whistleraskedhismothertofillin.Afterposingstandingforseveraldays,shebecamesoexhaustedthatWhistlerlethersitdown,andcompletedthepaintingwithhersitting.Heeventuallyhadtopawnthepaintingforcash.ItisnowdisplayedattheMuséed’OrsayinParis.

Other famousWest Point flunk-outs include author and poet EdgarAllanPoeand1960sdrugguruTimothyLeary.

1854

DRESSEDTOKILL...ORBEKILLED

Themilitaryfiascothatwasafashionboon.

TheChargeof theLightBrigadetookplaceduringtheBattleofBalaklavaintheCrimeanWar.Bothbattleandwarhavebeenlargelyforgotten,butthechargeliveson,thankstoAlfredLordTennyson’sfamouspoem.IntothevalleyofDeathRodethesixhundred.Therewas someconfusion about theorders, and673British cavalrymenweresentonadoomedchargeupalongvalleywithRussianartilleryfiringonthemfromallsides.Theirsnottoreasonwhy;Theirsbuttodoanddie.In less than twentyminutes, theLightBrigadewasdecimated.More than twohundred men were killed. Militarily, it was a terrible blunder. But it quicklycapturedtheimaginationoftheBritishpublic,whoregardeditnotasadisaster,but as something glorious and noble. The commander of the Light Brigade,JamesThomasBrudenell,waslionizedasanationalhero.Healsoinspiredapieceofclothingwestillusetoday.Brudenell bought his men button-down collarless sweaters they could wearundertheiruniformtokeepwarm.Afterthebattle,thestylebecamealltherage,anditwasnamedafterhim.Never heard of the Brudenell sweater, you say? That’s because it was namedafterhistitle.ThomasBrudenellwasanearl.Infact,hewastheseventhEarlof...Cardigan.

EveryonerememberstheChargeoftheLightBrigade,butnoonerecallstheChargeoftheHeavyBrigadefromthesamebattle.Tennysonwroteapoemaboutthattoo,butit’svirtuallyunknown.Maybethat’sbecausetheHeavyBrigadescoredaneasysuccessinsteadofaromanticfailure.

Cardigan’ssuperiorofficer,whogavetheorderforthecharge,wasalsoafashioninspiration.AfterhelostanarmattheBattleofWaterloo,LordRaglanbeganwearingacapelikecoatwithsleevesextendingtotheneck.Theraglansleeveisstillapopularstyletoday.

ItwaseightyearsbeforetheCrimeanWarthataBritishofficernamedHarryLumsdenmade fashionhistoryof his own.Taskedwithorganizing an eliteunit of Pashtun tribesmen in India, Lumsden decided to forgo the army’straditionalscarletuniformsandoutfittedhismeninsomethinglessobtrusive:lightweight clothing the color ofmud. The uniformswere named after theHinduwordfordust:khak.Andthat’showkhakiswereborn.

1855

OVERTHEHUMP?

HowtheWestwasalmostwon.

Imagine thisOldWest scene: the cavalry rides to the rescue, on thebacksoftheir trusty . . . camels? It might have come to pass if an unusual armyexperimenthadturnedoutdifferently.In1855,U.S.SecretaryofWarJeffersonDavisconvincedCongresstogivethearmy thirty thousanddollars to import camels formilitaryuse.Davis believedcamelsmightprovemoreusefulthanhorsesandmulesintheharsh,desert-likeconditionsthatprevailedacrossmuchofthewesternUnitedStates.A total of seventy-eight camelswere brought from theMiddle East to Texas.Theyquicklyprovedtheirworth.Thecamelscouldcarrymorethanathousandpoundsontheirbacks,godaysorweekswithoutwater,movefasterthanhorses,and eat desert vegetation that other animals wouldn’t touch. Alongwith theirhumps,though,camelsalsocamewithdownsides.Theirpowerfularomadrovehorsesandmulescrazy,while their screeching, spitting,andbitingmadearmydriversabsolutelyhatethem.Nonetheless, in1858anewSecretaryofWar, JohnFloyd,was soenthusiasticabouttheuseofcamelsthatheaskedCongresstoembracetheideaonagrandscale, and import a thousand camels for military use. Floyd believed thesuperiority of the camel would convince Indians they could never escape thecavalry,andencouragethemtogiveupraiding.But Congress had other things on its mind. The call for camels fell by thewaysideasrisingtensionsbetweenNorthandSouthconsumedthecountry.Afterthe Civil War broke out, the army’s dabbling in dromedaries was all butforgotten;thecamelcavalrynevermadeitoverthatinitialhump.

Thehumpofacamelisfattytissuethatabsorbswaterandstoresit.Normallyacamelwilldrinkeverythreedays,twentytothirtygallonsatatime,butcamelshavebeenknowntogoanextraordinarytenmonthswithoutwater.

Afterthewar,theremainingarmycamelsweresoldoff.EventuallymanyofthemwereturnedlooseinArizona,Texas,andNevada,wheretheyrevertedtoawildstate.Thelastsightingofwildcamelswasin1905,inArizona.

SecretaryofWarJeffersonDavis,whowouldonedaybecomepresidentoftheConfederateStatesofAmerica,wassoenthralledbythepossiblemilitaryusesofcamelsthatheandhiswifetranslatedabookonthesubjectfromFrenchintoEnglish.

1857

BITETHEBULLET

Therevolutionaryweaponthattriggeredarevolution.

For150years,theBritishEastIndiaCompanyruledIndiathroughanarmyofnativesoldiers(knownasSepoys)commandedbyBritishofficers.Inthe1850s,theofficersbegandistributingastate-of-the-artfirearmtotheirmen:theEnfieldrifle.Itwasadecisionthatwouldsoonbackfire.Insteadofold-fashionedmusketballs, theEnfield fired thenewconicalMiniebullet, giving the rifle increased range and accuracy. Bullet and powder werecontained in apaper cartridge,whichwasheavilygreased tokeep thepowder

dry. Loading the rifle required biting off the end of the greased cartridge toexposethegunpowder.Bigproblem.Wordspreadamongthetroopsthatthegreasecontainedfatfrompigsandcows,meaningthatbitingthecartridgewasasacrilegeforbothHindusandMoslems.InMayof1857,eighty-fiveSepoysinthetownofMeerutrefusedtousethenewrifles.Theywere strippedof theiruniformsandsentenced to tenyearsathardlabor.Outragedbywhat theysawasreligiouspersecution,fellowsoldiersroseupandkilledtheirBritishofficers,thenfreedtheircomrades.Indiawasalreadyseethingwithdiscontent,andthismutinylaunchedafull-scalerebellion. Violence quickly spread as Indian princes and oppressed peasantsjoinedtherevolution.Thousandsdied,withatrocitiesonbothsides.In the end, theBritish government brutally suppressed the rebellion, and tookdirectcontrolofthecountry.Butascostlyandunsuccessfulasitwas,themutinytriggeredbyanewkindofrifleplantedtheseedsofanationalistmovementthatwouldeventuallymakeIndiaindependentonehundredyearslater.

SepoysmassacredBritishsoldiersandtheirfamiliesatCawnpore,hackingthemtodeathevenaftertheyhadsurrendered.WhentheBritishretookthetown,theyforcedtheirprisonerstolickthebloodoffthefloorbeforetakingthemoutand

hangingthem.

TheBritishindulgedintheirowncruelties,inventingapunishmentknownasthe“Devil’sWind.”Theywouldlashamantoacannonandfireacannonballthroughhisbody,blowinghimtobits,andthusdemolishinghishopeforanafterlife.

Likesomanycultureclashes,thisonewasbornofignoranceandmistrust.TheBritishbelievedtheywereshowingfaithinthemenbygivingthemtheirnewestrifle,whilemanySepoysbelievedthegreasedcartridgeswerepartofaplottoforcethemtobecomeChristiansbyfirstmakingthemoutcastsfromtheirownreligions.

1859

REDCROSS

Thebloodybattlethatgavebirthtoamissionofmercy.

Morethanfortyyearslater,DunantwasawardedthefirstNobelPeacePrizeforhisefforts.

Littlerememberedtoday,theBattleofSolferinowasoneofthemostterribleinhistory.OnJune24,1859,FrenchandItalianforcesunderNapoleonIIIattackedanAustrianarmy.Threehundredthousandmenengagedinfuriousfightingformorethanfifteenhours.ASwissbusinessmannamedHenryDunantwhowastryingtoarrangeameetingwithNapoleonIIIfoundhimselfawitnesstothebattle.Hewasshockedbythehorrifyingcarnage.“Everymound,everyrockycragisthesceneofafighttothedeath,”hewrotelater.“Itissheerbutchery.”Whatcamenextwasevenworse.Astaggeringfortythousandwereleftwounded

onthefieldofbattle,andmedicalcareforthemwastotallyinadequate.Dunantthrewhimself into theeffort tohelp thewounded,despairingwhenmanydiedforlackofcare.Herecalledonewoundedsoldierwhospokebitterlyofhisfate:“IfIhadbeenlookedaftersoonerImighthavelived,andnowbyeveningIshallbedead.”Andhewas.Terribly moved by what he had seen, Dunant wrote a book about hisexperiences, and called for the formation of an international organization toprovideaid.HisworkledtotheFirstGenevaConventionandtheformationofaninternationalreliefagency.To protect doctors and nurses on the battlefield, the nations who formed theagencyalsoagreedona symbol thatwouldproclaim itsneutrality. Ina fittingtributetothiscompassionateSwissbusinessman,theyreversedthecolorsoftheSwissflagtocreate:TheRedCross.

AtthetimeoftheBattleofSolferino,theFrencharmyhadmoreveterinariansthanitdidmedicaldoctors.

“ISITNOTAMATTEROFURGENCY,SINCEUNHAPPILYWECANNOTAVOIDWAR,TOPREVENT,ORATLEASTTOALLEVIATE,THEHORRORSOFWAR.”

—HENRYDUNANT

1859

THEPIGWAR

TheUnitedStatesandGreatBritainonthebrinkofwar...overadeadpig?

In1859,thelastbitofterritoryindisputebytheU.S.andGreatBritainwastheSanJuanIslandchain,inthewatersbetweenCanadaandtheOregonTerritory.Both countries claimed the islands, andbothhad settlers therewho eyed eachotherwithsuspicionandhostility.ThatwasthestatusquothedayLymanCutlar,anAmericanlivingonSanJuanIsland,shotapigthatwasrootingaroundinhispotatopatch.ABritishpig.BritishauthoritiesthreatenedtoarrestCutlarifhedidn’tmakerestitution.AfterAmericansontheislandturnedtotheU.S.Armyforhelp,ahotheadedgeneralnamedWilliamHarneyrespondedbysendingacompanyofmenfromtheNinthInfantry. The governor of British Columbia, in turn, ordered awarship to thescene.Bothsidesescalated.SoonfourhundredAmericansoldiersweredug inon the island,while a fleet of British ships carrying thousands of armedmenwaitedjustoffshore.Thepossibilityofwarseemedveryreal.

Atthispoint,coolerheadsprevailed.BritishnavalofficersrefusedorderstolandRoyal Marines on the island, thus avoiding a confrontation. The U.S.government,horrifiedthattheactionsofoneiratefarmercouldprecipitateawar,sent General Winfield Scott, Commander of the U.S. Army, to calm thingsdown. Both parties eventually agreed to a joint occupation of the islands,bringinganendtoamilitaryconfrontationinwhichtheonlycasualtywasapig.

ThepigshotbyLymanCutlarwasactuallyaBerkshireboar.

“RESISTALLATTEMPTSATINTERFERENCEBYTHEBRITISHAUTHORITIES.”

—INSTRUCTIONSTOTHEU.S.TROOPSOCCUPYINGSANJUANISLAND

Tenyears after the events of the “PigWar,” theU.S. andBritain referredtheir dispute over the islands to a neutral third party: KaiserWilhelm I ofGermany.He eventually ruled in favor of theUnited States, and today theislandsarepartofWashingtonState.

“We’llmakeaBunkerHillofit,”saidthearmycaptainwhocommandedtheU.S.troopssenttooccupySanJuanIsland.ButGeorgePickett’smomentofglorywouldcomefouryearslater,asaConfederategeneral,whenhelenthisnametothemostfamous—andfutile—chargeinAmericanhistory,attheBattleofGettysburg.

1861

NATIVEGUARDS

TheextraordinarymilitaryunitthatservedonbothsidesintheCivilWar.

TheLouisianaNativeGuardwasamilitiaregimentformedbyeagervolunteersin theearlydaysof theCivilWar to fight for theSouth.Whatmade ituniqueamongConfederatemilitaryunitswastheoriginofitsmen.TheywereallfreeblackslivinginNewOrleans.Whywere theywilling to fight for the South? Some saw it as away to gainequality. Others owned property they were afraid of losing if they refused tofight.ManyweremulattoeswhoidentifiedmorewithSouthernwhitesthanwithslaves.TheSouthdidn’tpermittheNativeGuardstogointobattle,anduseditmoreforpropaganda than anything else. This treatment quickly dampened the unit’senthusiasmfortheConfederatecause.ButthemenoftheNativeGuardsstilldesperatelywantedtoprovethemselves.AfterNewOrleanswasoccupiedby theUnion,manyof theofficers andmenvolunteered to fight for the Union. Theywere joined by runaway slaves alsoanxioustotakeuparms.Andso theNativeGuards, reconstitutedas threeUnion regiments,became theonlyunittoserveboththeSouthandtheNorthduringtheCivilWar.TheywerethefirstblackunitsintheUnionArmy,andtheyfoughtbravelyattheBattleofPortHudson.Inspiteoftheirperformance,theywerenotwelltreatedby thearmy.Blackofficerswerereplacedwithwhites,and themenwereusedprimarilyforguarddutyandmanuallabor.Despitetheirwillingnesstoworkandfight,theNativeGuardswereorphanedbytwo armies. As one of their officers observed: “Nobody really desires our

success.”

RobertE.LeesuggestedrecruitingslavesassoldiersinthelatedaysoftheCivil War, but the South’s view of black troops was summed up byConfederategeneralCobbHowell:“Ifslavesmakegoodsoldiers,ourwholetheoryofslaveryiswrong.”

“THEYFOUGHTSPLENDIDLY!SPLENDIDLY!EVERYBODYISDELIGHTEDTHATTHEYDIDSOWELL.”

—GENERALNATHANIELP.BANKSONTHENATIVEGUARDSATPORTHUDSON

OneoftheofficersoftheNativeGuards,P.B.S.Pinchback,servedbrieflyasgovernorofLouisianaduringReconstruction,makinghimthestate’sfirstandonlyblackgovernor.Pinchbackwasone-quarterAfrican-American:thesonofaLouisianaplanterandhismulattomistress.

ThethreeNativeGuardsregimentsservingintheUnionArmywerealsoknownasthe“CorpsD’Afrique.”

1862

TWENTY-FOURNOTES

TheCivilWargeneralwhowhistledhiswayintohistory.

Dan Butterfield was a NewYork businessman turnedUnion general. Peopleseemed to love him or hate him. He was awarded the Medal of Honor forrallyinghisbrigadeunderwitheringfire,buthehadabadtemper that irritatedfellowofficers.Onewrotethathewasamanof“blemishedcharacter.”Perhapsso.Buthealsohadpoetryinhissoul.One night in July of 1862 he called the brigade bugler to his tent.Butterfieldwasn’thappywiththeregulationbuglecallplayedattheendofthedaytosignal“lightsout.”Itwasn’tsufficientlymusical,hesaid.The general had something different inmind. Since by his own admission he

couldn’twrite a noteofmusic, hewhistled it for buglerOliverNorton.WhenNortonplayeditback,theresultwasn’tquitewhatButterfieldwanted,andtheywentbackandforthforawhile,thegeneralwhistling,thebuglerblowing,untiltheyhadsomethingButterfieldwassatisfiedwith.Nortonusedthenewcallthatnight.Buglersfromotherbrigadescampednearbywere so struck by it that they began using it as well. Soon the call spreadthroughoutthearmy,andtotheConfederatearmyaswell.AndsoacollaborationbetweenageneralandabugleronawarmJulyeveningled to twenty-four notes that have gone down in history: a haunting melodyknown to all that announces the end of day for soldiers and graces the air atmilitaryfunerals.Taps.

Butterfieldseemstohavegottentheideaforthenewbuglecallfrompartsofanoldercallnolongerinuse,revisingittocapturethemoodhesought.

BuglerOliverW.NortonrecalledthatButterfieldwantedacallthatinitsmusicshouldcarrysomesuggestionofputtingoutthelightsandlyingdowntorestinthesilenceofthecamp.

Soldiersbeganmakingupwordstothesongassoonasbuglerstartedplayingit.Thesearesomeoftheearliest.

1862

THREECIGARS

TheSouthmighthavewontheCivilWar...butforthreecigars.

September13,1862,wasaSaturday,butforthesoldiersoftheTwenty-seventhIndianaRegimentitwasjustanotherdayofmarching.LiketherestoftheUnionArmyunderGeneralGeorgeMcClellan,theyweremovingdownthedirtroadsofMaryland, trying to come to gripswithRobertE.Lee’sConfederateArmy,whichhadinvadedtheNorth.Itwasacriticaltimeinthewar.AdecisivevictorybyLeecouldpavethewayforasettlementthatwouldleadtorecognitionoftheSouthasaseparatenation.McClellan,slowandovercautious,seemedill-suitedtostophim.The Twenty-seventh stopped to rest in a field that had been occupied byConfederatesjustdaysbefore.Threesoldierssprawledoutonthegroundnoticedsomethinglyingnearby:threecigarswrappedinapieceofpaper.Delighted,thesoldiersdecided to split the cigars.Theywere about to throwout thewrapperwhenoneofthem,CorporalBartonW.Mitchell,thoughttotakealookatit.At that moment, the unwitting corporal may have been the most important

personontheplanet,withthousandsoflivesandthefateofnationsridingonhiscuriosity.WhatMitchellfoundinhishandswasacopyofthemarchingordersforLee’sarmy,apparentlylostbyaConfederateofficer.Hepromptlypassedhisdiscoveryupthechainofcommand.Galvanizedby thiscaptured information,McClellanpromptlywentontheattack.The result: the Confederates were turned back at the Battle of Antietam, thebloodiestsingledayinAmericanhistory.Morethanfivethousandmendiedinthefightingthatday.Allbecauseofthreecigars.

Anotheroneofthesoldierswhofoundthecigars,SergeantJohnBloss,survivedthebattlebymorethanfortyyearsandendedupbecomingamuchbelovedpresidentofOregonStateUniversity.(He’sinthefrontrow,secondfromtheright.)

Thisisthepaperfoundbythesoldiers,SpecialOrders191.TheywerewrittenoutbyLee’sassistantadjutantgeneral,R.H.Chilton.Bysheercoincidence,oneoftheUnionofficerswhoexaminedtheordershappenedtoknowChiltonbeforethewarandsowasabletoverifythatitwashishandwriting,thusconvincingGeneralMcClellanthedocumentwasgenuine.

“HEREISAPAPERWITHWHICHIFICANNOTWHIPBOBBYLEEIWILLBEWILLINGTOGOHOME.”

—GENERALGEORGEMCCLELLAN

1863

UNLEADEDZEPPELIN

HowdidtheCivilWarchangethecourseofaviationhistory?

CountFerdinandvonZeppelinwasayoungPrussianmilitaryofficerwhenhewas sent to the United States in 1863 as a military observer attached to theUnionArmy.TheenthusiasticyounglieutenantrodealongonseveralmissionswithUnioncavalry,andwasalmostcapturedbytheConfederatesaweekbeforetheBattleofGettysburg.Havingcomeso far,vonZeppelinsetout toexplore thebreadthof theUnitedStates. And so it was that he ended up in Minneapolis, where he ran intosomethingthatchangedhislife:Arideinaballoon.The balloonwas being operated by John Steiner,who had spent a year as anaeronaut for theUnionArmy.OnAugust 19 he let von Zeppelin go up on atetheredascent.Theyoungnoblemanrosesixhundredfeetintotheair.Hewashooked.Steiner regaled vonZeppelinwith tales of doingmilitary reconnaissance over

Confederatelines,notingthatthebiggestproblemwastheinabilitytosteertheballoon.Theanswer,Steinerthought,wouldbetocreateacigar-shapedballoonwitharudderthatcouldbeeasilyguidedthroughtheair.VonZeppelinwas soononhiswayback toGermany,buthenever forgot thatballoonride,orSteiner’sidea.Twenty-fiveyearslater,afterheretiredfromthearmy, he set out to build a rigid, steerable ballon.The firstZeppelinmade itsmaidenflightonJuly2,1900,launchinganewageoflighter-than-airtravelthatoweditsbirthtotheWarBetweentheStates.

AeronautsfromtheBalloonCorpsperformedvaluablereconnaissancefortheUnionArmy.ThebestknownamongthemwasThaddeusLowe,whoseeffortsarecreditedwithhelpingtheUnionwintheBattleofFairOaks.

TheascentoftheLZ-1,thefirstZeppelin,in1900.MorethanahundredZeppelinswereusedbytheGermansduringWorldWarI.

ZeppelinscarriedpassengersbackandforthacrosstheAtlanticinthe1930s,untiltheHindenburgexplodedoverLakehurst,NewJersey,in1937,killingthirty-sevenpeople.Withthat,theageoftheairshipwasover.

1864

BURIALGROUND

Theactofvengeancethatcreatedanationalshrine.

QuartermasterGeneralMontgomeryMeigs.HisownsonisamongtheCivilWardeadburiedatArlingtonCemetery,andMeigshimselfliesthereaswell.

MontgomeryMeigshadreason tobeangryatRobertE.Lee.MeigsandLeehadbeenfellowofficersbeforetheCivilWar.Bothweresoutherners,WestPointgraduates,andengineers.Theyhadworkedcloselytogether.ButwhileLee resignedhiscommission to lead thearmiesof theConfederacy,Meigsstayedloyal to theUnion,becomingquartermastergeneralof theUnionArmy. He watched in anger as Lee’s armies filled up Union cemeteries with

dead.Andeverydayhecould seeLee’sprewarmansionmockinghim fromahillsidehighaboveWashington.Meigs found the perfect way to punish the Confederate commander. HerecommendedthatLee’slongtimehomebeturnedintoanationalcemetery.Meigs wanted to fill the beautiful grounds with Union dead. When bodiesweren’tburiedcloseenough to thehouse,hecameout topersonallysupervisetheburialoftwenty-sixsoldiersinMaryLee’sbelovedrosegarden.HewantedbodiestoringthehousesothattheLeescouldneverreturn.Northerners approved wholeheartedly. One Washington paper thought it “arighteoususeof theestateof the rebelGeneralLee,” andby theendof1864,morethanseventhousandsoldierswereburiedthere.MaryLeewasdevastatedtofindthatthehousewasnow“surroundedbythegravesofthosewhoaidedtobringallthisruinonthechildrenandthecountry.”TodayArlington Cemetery is the closest thing there is to hallowed ground inAmerica.Anditmightnotexistbutforasoldier’sangeratanoldcomrade.

“THEROMANSSOWEDTHEFIELDSOFTHEIRENEMIESWITHSALT;LETUSMAKEITAFIELDOFHONOR.”

—MONTGOMERYMEIGSTOABRAHAMLINCOLN

LieutenantJohnBaileyisoneofthesoldiersburiedinMaryLee’srosegarden,justafewstepsfromtheLees’home.

1864

ABITTERHARVEST

DidPresidentLincolnsetinmotiontheeventsthatledtohisownassassination?

In 1864 President Lincoln personally approved a daring cavalry raid onRichmond, Virginia. The stated goal was to free Union prisoners held atRichmond’sLibbyPrison and hand out copies of PresidentLincoln’s amnestyproclamation.ThefourthousandUnioncavalrymenmetfierceresistanceandgotnowherenearRichmond.Themission thatstartedwithsuchhighhopes turnedouttobeacompletefiasco.Itsaftermathprovedcatastrophic.During the retreat, anofficercommandingonewingof the raid,ColonelUlricDahlgren,wasshotandkilledbyConfederates.Inhispocketstheyfoundpapersthat suggested the raid had another, far darker, purpose: to kill Confederate

presidentJeffersonDavisandburnRichmondtotheground.The North denied everything, but southerners were outraged. A Richmondnewspaper called it “The Last Raid of the Infernals.” The discovery of thedocumentswhippeduptremendoussentimentfortakingrevengeontheUnion.Andso theSouthunleashed itsowncovertoperations in theNorth.Numerousplots were hatched by angry conspirators, some with the sanction of theConfederate government, some not.One plot to kidnap President Lincoln andhold him for ransom involved an actor named JohnWilkesBooth.When thatplan fell apart, Booth began work on another plot—one that would come tofruitionthenightofApril14atFord’sTheater.Fromapresident’sorderfullcircletoapresident’sassassination.Abitterharvestindeed.

“THECITYMUSTBEDESTROYEDANDJEFF.DAVISANDCABINETKILLED.”—FROMANADDRESSTOHISTROOPSFOUNDINCOLONELDAHLGREN’SPOCKET

AfterDahlgren’sdeath,argumentseruptedoverwhetherthedocumentsfoundon

hisbodywererealorforged.Thecontroversycontinuestothisday.Thereisevidencetosuggestthatthedocumentsmayindeedbereal,andthatthekillingofJeffersonDaviswassecretlyorderedbySecretaryofWarEdwinStanton,mostlikelywithoutLincoln’sknowledge.StantonwasfamousforadvocatingharshmeasuresagainsttheleadersoftheConfederacy.

Overallcommandoftheraidwasheldbythemanwhosuggestedit:ColonelJudsonKilpatrick,knownas“KillCavalry”forhisrecklessstyleofleadership.HisordersfortheraidcamedirectlyfromthepresidentandtheSecretaryofWar.

1866

THEDAYTHEIRISHINVADEDCANADA

AFenianfiascoprovesthelawofunintendedconsequences.

They cameacross theborder thenight of June1, an armyof Irish-Americannationalists—Fenians,astheycalledthemselves—readytofightanddietofreeIrelandfromBritishrule.SowhattheyheckweretheydoinginCanada?Their goal was to seize the British territory’s major cities and use them asbargaining chips to negotiate with Britain for Ireland’s independence. Clearerthinkers among them understood this was far-fetched, but they hoped that aninvasion launchedfromAmericansoilwouldstartawarbetween theU.S.andBritainthatwouldresultinBritishtroopsbeingpulledoutofIreland.AndsoeighthundredIrish-Americansoldiers,mostofthemCivilWarveterans,crossed over from Buffalo and invaded Ontario. There was the ThirteenthTennesseeFenianRegiment, theSeventhNewYork, theEighteenthOhio, andothers.TheyraisedtheFenianbannerandhopedforthebest.AregimentofCanadianvolunteersconfrontedtheIrishmenthenextdayintheBattle of Ridgeway. It was more of a glorified skirmish, really, which endedwhen the Fenians routed the Canadian volunteers with a bayonet charge. Itwouldbe their first andonlyvictory.WhenCanadian reinforcementsbegan toappear, theFenians skedaddledback to theUnitedStates,where theywere allpromptly arrested by U.S. authorities. Another group of Fenians who crossedoverfromVermontintoQuebecweresimilarlyunsuccessful.ThebizarreinvasionhadmoreimpactonCanadathanIreland:itsparkedasurgeinCanadiannationalismthathelpedunifytheprovincesandleadtothecreationofthemodernDominionofCanada.IrishIndependencewouldhavetowaitanotherfiftyyears.

AttheBattleofRidgeway,theCanadiantroopssufferedtendeadandthirty-eightwounded.TheFenianslostonlyahandfulofmen.ColonelJohnO’Neil,aCivil

Warcavalryveteranwholedtheinvasion,ledtwomoreFenianinvasionsofCanada,in1870and1871,eachoneamoreresoundingfailurethantheonebefore.

1869

CHEWONTHIS

FromtheAlamototheinventionofmodernchewinggum.

AntonioLópezdeSantaAnnalikedtorefertohimselfas“theNapoleonoftheWest.”MostfamousforstormingtheAlamoin1836andputtingthedefendersto the sword, he became ruler of Mexico four different times before theMexicansfinallydrovehimintoexile.SoitwasthatSantaAnnabecameaNewYorker—forawhile.In1869theseventy-five-year-olddictatorwaslivingonStatenIsland.Hehadinmind a scheme to raise money for another revolution in Mexico by sellingchicle, thegummy resin taken fromsapodilla trees.Uponmeetingan inventornamedThomasAdams,hepaintedarosypictureofhowtheycouldbothmakeafortuneby turningchicle intoa low-priced rubber substitute.Adamsagreed togiveitatry.Theirget-richschemewasacompletefailure.Adamsspentayearexperimentingonthechicle,buttonoavail.SantaAnnaendedupgoingbacktoMexico,andAdamsendedupstuckwith theuselesschicle.Hewasreadytodumpit in theEast River when he walked into a drugstore and saw a little girl orderingchewing gummade out of paraffinwax.Remembering thatMexicans chewedchicle, Adams thought he might salvage his stash by turning it into chewinggum.Chewing chicleproved far superior to chewingwax. “AdamsNewYorkGumNumber1”becamehugelypopular.Itwasthefirstmoderngum,theforerunnerof every package of chewing gum on store shelves today, and it launched achewing-gumcrazethatisstillgoingstrong.Onemorereasonthemotto“RemembertheAlamo”shouldstickinyourmind.

MayanIndiansstartedchewingchicletwothousandyearsago,andpeopleinMexicohavebeendoingiteversince.SantaAnnahimselfprobablychewedchicle,whichmaybehowAdamsknewhecouldturnhisfailedrubbersubstituteintoanewkindofgum.

Adamsfolloweduponhisfirstgumwithothers,includinglicorice-flavored“Blackjack,”andoneproductstillonthemarket:Chiclets.

1870

PARISPOST

Thebirthofairmail...morethanthirtyyearsbeforetheWrightbrothers’firstflight.

In1870thePrussianarmyhadParisundersiege.Thecitywassurrounded.Forfivemonthstherewasnowayinorout.Exceptbyair.Inordertokeepintouchwiththerestoftheworld,Parisiansturnedtheirattentionsskyward.Twoofthecity’s railroadstationswere turned intoballoon factories.Seamenwere trainedas balloonists.Over the duration of the siege, sixty-four hot-air balloonswereproduced and launched. Two were lost at sea, and six were captured by thePrussians.Buttherestmanagedtocarrymorethantwomilliondispatchestotheoutsideworld—nearlytentonsofmail.Alas,theworld’sfirstairmailservicehadonedrawback:itwentonlyoneway.Theycouldn’tuseballoons togetmessagesback toParis,because it isalmostimpossible to control where a balloon will go. To solve that problem, the

balloons leaving the city carried hundreds of carrier pigeons. The birds weretakentovariouscities,loadedwithmessagesforParis,andthenreleased.Letterswerephotographed,reducedinsize,andprintedonthinfilmsthatcouldholduptotwenty-fivehundredmessageseach.Asinglepigeoncouldcarryasmanyasadozenstripsoffilmwithmorethanthirtythousanddispatches.The pigeons, however, weren’t as reliable as the balloons. Only one in eightmade it back. But they carried over a millionmessages back to the besiegedParisians.Airmail:awartimeinnovationthatcouldn’twaitfortheairplane.

AtOrléansStationinParis,morethanahundredwomenworkedtomaketheballoons.Theytreatedthecalicofabricwithlinseedoil,ironedit,cutthematerialtoprecisemeasurements,thensewedthepiecestogetherbyhand.

Oneballoonleavingthebesiegedcityflew875milesandlandedinaNorwegianforest.

1889

WINDSOFWAR

Thestormthatmayhavepreventedaworldwar.

It began with a civil war in the Pacific island kingdom of Samoa. Germanydecidedtointerveneandput troopsashoretofightforoneof thefactions.TheUnited States took a dim view of this: German aggression in the Pacificwasconsideredathreatthatcouldn’tbeignored.Three U.S. warships were dispatched to Samoa to keep an eye on the threeGerman warships already there. Tensions between the two countries grew.Heated messages flashed back and forth between Washington and Berlin.Americawasangry,Germanydefiant.U.S. public opinionwas inflamed by reports thatAmerican citizens in Samoawerebeing ill-treatedbyGerman soldiers and that anAmerican flaghadbeentorn down. When a San Francisco newspaper reported (incorrectly) that theGermanshadsunkanAmericanship,conflict seemed imminent.Stormcloudsweregathering,figurativelyspeaking.Thentheystartedtogatherforreal.OnMarch 19, a powerful typhoon struck the island with a force that no oneexpected.Thefiercewindsanddeadlywavesdestroyedorseverelydamagedall

sixoftheU.S.andGermanwarships.FiftyAmericansandninety-fiveGermansperishedinthestorm.Manyoftherestfoundthemselvesdazedandshipwreckedonshore.But, as the expression goes, it is an illwind that blows no good. The naturaldisastereasedtensionsatacriticalmoment,andtalkofwartookabackseat toplanningrescueandrecoveryefforts.EventuallyGermanyandtheUnitedStatesagreedtoputSamoaundera jointprotectorate.Warbetweenthetwocountrieswouldcome,butnotforanothertwenty-fiveyears.

“INALLMYEXPERIENCEONSEAIHAVENEVERSEENASTORMEQUALTOTHISONE.”—ADMIRALLAWRENCEKIMBERLY,COMMANDEROFTHEU.S.NAVALFORCESAT

SAMOA

Officerswhohadbeenreadyingforthepossibilityofafightfoundthemselvesattendingmemorialservicesnotonlyfortheirowndeadbutforthoseoftheirsupposedenemy.

TheGermanshipAdlerwasblowncompletelyashore,althoughitwaslaterre-floated.AnotherGermanship,theEber,wasrippedapart,resultinginthelossofmostofitscrew.TwoAmericanships,theVandaliaandtheTrenton,sankdowntotheirdecks.

OnenavalcadetservingontheVandaliawascommendedforhis“coolness,zeal and pluck” during the storm. Cadet John Lejeune was eventuallycommissioned as a Marine Corps officer and was later the thirteenthcommandant of Marines. Camp Lejeune in North Carolina is named afterhim.

1898

FIGHTINGJOE

Whosesidewasheonanyway?

AfterthesinkingofthebattleshipMaine inHavanaHarbor, theUnitedStatesmobilizedforwarwithSpain.Manyprominentpeopleclamoredforachancetojointhearmyashigh-rankingofficers.AssistantSecretaryoftheNavyTheodoreRooseveltwasone.AnotherwasapowerfulcongressmannamedJoeWheeler.PresidentMcKinleyappointedWheeler amajorgeneralofvolunteers. Itmadeperfect sense:Wheeler, after all, had military experience, having served as ageneralduringtheCivilWar.Ofcourse,atthattimehehadbeenfightingagainsttheUnitedStates.

“FightingJoe”Wheelerwasacavalrymanwhohadearnedhisstarsasamajorgeneral in theConfederateArmy.Nowhewas trading in theoldgrayuniformforanewblueone,toserveasageneralintheveryarmyhehadonceconsideredhisaswornenemy.Wheelerwasabantamroosterofaman,fivefoottwoandallfight.“Aregulargamecock,” Theodore Roosevelt called him. Competitive to the core, heexclaimedthathewantedtobethefirsttoencounter“theYankees...damnit,ImeantheSpaniards.”AttimesheseemedtothinkhewasfightingtheCivilWarall over again. “Let’s go, boys!” he reportedly cried at theBattle of San JuanHill.“We’vegotthedamnYankeesontherunagain!”Wheeler’sappointmentwasgreetedbymanyasasignthattheWarBetweentheStateswasfinallyathingofthepastandthatthena-

WheelerwasaConfederategeneralatagetwenty-sixandaU.S.Armygeneralatagesixty-one.OneoftheunitshecommandedinCubawasTeddyRoosevelt’sRoughRiders.

Wheeler stayed in the army after the war. In 1902, former ConfederategeneralJamesLongstreetwasvisitingWestPointwhenheranintoWheelerin full regalia. Recalling a deceased Confederate comrade, the feisty JubalEarly,Longstreet said:“IhopeAlmightyGod takesmebeforehedoesyou

forIwant tobewithin thegatesofhell tohearJubalEarlycussyouin theblueuniform.”Wheelerdied in1906andwasburied inArlingtonNationalCemetery,oneofonlytwoformerConfederategeneralsburiedthere.

1903

ATALEOFTWOGENERALS

Meetthefamousgeneralyouneverheardof.

General DouglasMacArthur was one of the most talented, flamboyant, andcontroversial men ever to put on a military uniform. His remarkableachievementsinWorldWarIIandtheKoreanWarhaveledmanytoregardhimas the greatestmilitarymanof all time.Andhe certainlywas a one-of-a-kindfigure.Well,notexactly.There’sanothergeneralfromanearliererawhosecareerwasremarkablysimilar.LikeDouglasMacArthur,heearnedhisreputationfighting in thePacific.LikeDouglasMacArthur, he thrilled thenationwithhis exploits in thePhilippines.LikeDouglasMacArthur,herosetobecomethehighest-rankinggeneral in the

army.And,likeDouglasMacArthur,hewaseventuallyremovedbythepresidentforinsubordinationandbroughthome,triggeringanationalcontroversy.Bothmen camewithin a hairsbreadth of being killed on the battlefield. Bothwere nominated as young officers for theCongressionalMedal ofHonor, butdidn’tactuallyreceivetheawarduntildecadeslater.Is it just an odd coincidence that Douglas MacArthur’s career so closelymirroredthelifeofthisearliermilitaryhero?Justarandomhappenstance?Unlikely.Because thatmanwasGeneralArthurMacArthur,DouglasMacArthur’sfather—whosegreatest legacymayhavebeen thesonwhospenta lifetime trying toliveuptohisoldman.

“ARTHURMACARTHURWASTHEMOSTFLAMBOYANTLYEGOTISTICALMANIHADEVERSEEN...UNTILIMETHISSON.”

—COLONELENOCHCROWDER,AIDETOGENERALARTHURMACARTHUR

Neitherman’segowasabletohandlebeingsubordinatetocivilianauthority.WhenPresidentMcKinleyappointedaciviliangovernorof thePhilippines,ArthurMacArthur, thenmilitarygovernor,accusedhimof“unconstitutionalinterference.”DouglasMacArthur labeledhisownsackingby thepresidentasoneofthemost“disgracefulplots”inU.S.history.

ArthurMacArthurfoughtintheCivilWar,theIndianWars,andtheSpanish-AmericanWar,whilehisson,Douglas,sawactioninWorldWarI,WorldWarII,andKorea.TogethertheircareersspannednearlyacenturyofU.S.military

history.

WhenDouglasMacArthurcameashoreduringtheretakingofthePhilippinesin1944,thebeachmasterwouldn’tlethislandingcrafttieupatadock,andhehadtowadeashoreinhisfreshlycleanedandironeduniform.MacArthurwasangry,butlater,whenhesawaphotoofit,herealizeditsgreatpublicityvalue.Thefollowingdayhestagedanotherwadingashoreforthenewsreels.

1912

GLORYDEFERRED

Hemissedgoldbyahair...buthewouldhavemedalsaplentyinthefuture.

Theyoungmilitaryofficerhadthirstedforgloryeversincehewasayoungboy.After graduating from West Point, he was desperate for some way to provehimself.Oneproblem:therewerenowarsgoingon.So he turned to a different arena. He traveled to Stockholm to represent theUnited States at the 1912 Olympics. His event was the Modern Pentathlon,whichtestedcompetitorsinfivemilitaryskills:horsemanship,fencing,running,swimming,andshooting.The young lieutenant performed excellently in every event except the one heconsideredhisbest:pistolshooting.Mostofhisshotspunchedholesrightinsidethebull’s-eye.Butfortwoofhisshots,thejudgesruledthathemissedthetargetentirely.Theofficerhimselfbelievedtheshotsweresogoodtheywentthroughoneoftheearlierbulletholes.Thegoldmedalwasinthebalance.Buthisargumentfellondeafears.Insteadoffinishingfirst,hefinishedfifth,histhirstforglorystillunquenched.

Butdon’tfeeltoobadforthefailedOlympian.Hewouldfindglorymorethanthirtyyearslater,leadingthetanksoftheThirdArmyacrosswhatShakespeareonce called “Thevasty fieldsofFrance,”punchingholes in theGerman lines,and making headlines back home. A young lieutenant no more, he wouldbecome known as “Old Blood and Guts”—General George S. Patton, finallyachievingthefameandplauditshehadsoughthisentirelife.

Itwasonlyfouryearsaftercompetinginthe1912OlympicsthatyoungGeorgePattongotachancetostartmakinghisreputationwiththenewfangledweaponthatwouldonedaymakehisnamefamous:thetank.

Patton,ontheright,tookprideinthefactthateventhoughhedidnotmedalinthecompetition,hecameinthirdinthefencingandgavetheFrencharmychampionhisonlydefeat.

IfscoringhadbeendoneintheAmericanmanner—tenpointsforabull’s-eye,nineforthenextring,andsoon—Patton’sshootingwouldhaveplacedhimthirdforthateventandtheoverallgoldmedalwouldhavebeenhis.ButtheSwedishmethodcountedanyhitonatargetequally,sohisnumerousbull’s-eyesdidhimnogood,whilehisallegedmissesruinedhisscore.

1913

THELASTCHARGE

RememberingthedayofdaysataplacecalledGettysburg.

The fateful charge of Pickett’s Brigade came on July 3, the third day atGettysburg.With tens of thousandswatching in awe, these bravemen set offbeneaththefierceafternoonsun.AmileoffarmfieldsseparatedthemfromtheUnionsoldiersuponCemeteryRidge,butcomewhatmay,theywereintentoncomingtogripswiththeirenemy.Proudly they marched, battle flags waving, a spectacle more dramatic thananyonetherehadeverseen.Astheydrewclose,therebelyellbrokefromtheirthroats.TheYankees,crouchedbehindastonewall,couldwaitnolonger.Heartsabouttoburstwithemotion,theyflungthemselvesforwardtomeettheenemy.Andtheneveryonehuggedandcried.BecausethiswasnottheBattleofGettysburg.ItwastheveteransofGettysburg,NorthandSouth,reenactingthebattlefiftyyearslatertotheday.ThesurvivorsofPickett’sChargeretracedtheirstepswithcanesandcrutches,as theirUnion

counterpartsandmorethanahundredthousandspectatorslookedon.Theverymenwhointheiryouthhadfoughtasbitterenemiesnowunitedtowalkthefieldofbattleinpeace.Thewhite-hairedveterans,manywearingthesameuniformstheyhadfoughtinfifty years before, exchanged handshakes where they had once exchangedgunfire.Enemiesnomore.

“ASTHEREBELYELLBROKEOUTAFTERAHALFCENTURYOFSILENCE...AMOAN,AGIGANTICSIGH,AGASPOFUNBELIEFROSEFROMTHEONLOOKERS.”

—PHILIPMEYERS,ASPECTATOROFTHEEVENT

Thebattlefieldbecameafieldoftentsasfifty-threethousandCivilWarveterans,UnionandConfederate,cametothe1913GrandReunionatGettysburg.It’salmosttheexactsamenumberofmenwhowerekilledandwoundedinthepivotalCivilWarbattle.

1913

FLYINGCIRCUS

AnaviationfirstintheMexicanRevolution?

TwoprimitivebiplanesmadeofwoodandclothapproachedeachotherearlyoneNovembermorning.Thepilotsexchangedafewlooselyaimedpistolshotsandthenroaredoffindifferentdirections.Itdoesn’tsoundlikemuch,butitmaywellhavebeenthefirstaerialdogfighttheworldhadeverseen.The pilots were American mercenaries who had hired themselves out tocompetingfactionsintheMexicanRevolution.FormerSanFrancisconewspaperreporter Phil Rader was flying for General Huerta, while lifelong soldier offortune Dean Lamb was in the pay of General Carranza. Rader had beendroppingprimitivebombsonCarranza’sforces,andLambhadgoneuptofindhim.Yearslater,Lambrecalledthatwhenthetwoplanesmet,Raderfiredfirst.ButitappearedtoLambthatRaderwasaimingtomiss,sohedidthesame!(Notthatthey had much chance of hitting each other, anyway, firing pistols fromairplanes.)Thetwopilotsgailyemptiedtheirpistols,reloaded,andmadeanotherpass.Whenitwasalldonetheysalutedeachotherandthenwenttheirseparateways.DuringWorldWarI,whenthetwomenservedtogether,Lambsaystheysharedafewlaughsaboutthewholeaffair.Aircombathasbecomefarmoredeadlyintheyearssince,butitseemstohavenevercompletelylostthetouchofromanceintro-

DeanIvanLamb’scolorfulcareeralsoincludedworkingonthePanamaCanal,

servinginBritain’sRoyalFlyingCorps,foundingtheHonduranAirForce,takingpartinseveralSouthAmericanrevolutions,gettingindictedforjeweltheft,actingasintelligenceofficerfortheFlyingTigers,andtestifyingatAlgerHiss’sespionagetrial.Hewasanincurableadventurerwhoonceestimatedthatheservedinthirteendifferentarmies.

ThisistheplaneLambflew,aCurtisModelDPusher—aplanethatsurelydidnotofferagreatdealofprotectioninaerialcombat!Toreloadhispistol,Lambhadtoholdthegunbetweenhiskneesandputthebulletsinwithonehandwhileholdingontothestickwiththeother.

1914

LIGHTS!CAMERA!WAR!

Whathappenswhenacommandinggeneralgoesintothemoviebusiness?

ThisisaframefromoneofthemoviesshotofPanchoVilla’sarmy.SoonafterVillasignedhiscontract,anotherrebelcommandersignedhisownmoviedealforexclusiverightstofilmhisbranchofthearmy.Warmaybehell,butthemoviebusinessisreallycutthroat.

In January of 1914,Mexican revolutionary PanchoVillamade headlines, notwith a battle or a fiery speech, but with something very different: a moviecontract.Villasigneda$25,000contractwithMutualFilmsgivingthemexclusiverightstocoverhisarmy.Accordingtoitsterms,allothercameramenwerebannedfromcomingonVilla’scampaign,andthegeneralwasguaranteedapercentageofthegross.Allthatwithoutanagent.Four cameramen were dispatched to join up with Villa’s army. The generalobliginglyheldoffanattackonthetownofOjinagauntiltheygotthere.HealsoagreedthatifMutualcouldn’tgetgoodenoughpicturesduringactualbattles,he

wouldstagethem.MutualdecidedtomakeafilmaboutVilla’slife,andthegeneralagreedtoplayhimself—eventhoughhewasstillleadinganarmyinbattle!MutualfeltVilla’ssloppyoldclothesdidn’tcomeacrosswellonfilm,sotheygavehimasnappynewuniformhewashappytowear.Whenproducerscomplainedthatexecutionsat dawnwere too hard to film,Villamoved the shootings to later in the day,whentherewasbetterlight.Alocationmanager’sdream.One journalist called it “the war waged to make a movie.” In reality, it wasVilla’swayoftryingtofinancehisrevolution—andgeneratesomegoodPR.ThegeneralwasportrayedinMutual’smoviesasaherountilhisinvasionoftheU.S.in1916.Afterthathebecameafirst-classvillain.That’sshowbiz.

“HOWWOULDYOUFEELTOBEAPARTNERTOAMANENGAGEDINKILLINGPEOPLE?”

—MUTUALFILMS’HARRYAITKEN,COMMENTINGONTHEDEAL

VillalostmostofhissupportwhenheinvadedthetownofColumbus,New

Mexico,in1916,killingseventeenpeople.HisgoalwastopromptaU.S.invasionofMexicothatwouldangerMexicansandinspirethemtoflocktohisbanner.Itworkedlikeacharm.

1914

THEBATTLEOFTHELUXURYLINERS

Asagaofthehighseaswithanamazingtwist.

There’sneverbeenanavalengagementquitelikeit:twotop-of-the-lineoceanlinersdukingitoutonthehighseas.Whatmadeitevenstrangerwasthis:Eachshipwasdisguisedastheother.TheCarmaniawasaBritishoceanliner,theCapTrafalgaraGermanvessel.Atthe start of World War I, each ship was commandeered by its respectivegovernment and converted into an armed merchant cruiser. Sandbags werestackedup in lieuofarmor,andgunsbolted to thedeck.Twoweeksafterwarwasdeclared,bothwerereadyformilitaryservice.TheCarmaniasetoutonitsfirstwarmissionfromLiverpool,theCapTrafalgarfromBuenosAires.Eachcaptainknewthathisvesselwasnomatchforheavily

armoredwarships,andintheinterestofself-preservation,eachhitupontheideaofdisguisinghisshiptomakeitlooklikeanenemyvessel.Some strange fate must have been at work, because the two captains eachdecidedtodisguisehisshipastheother.Theymadethealterationsastheysailedontowardadestinythatmusthaveseemedunimaginablyimprobable.For as luckwould have it, the two vessels happened upon each other off theCaribbean island of Trinidad. Each ship saw through the other’s disguiseimmediately,andthebattlecommenced.Thegiantshipsdueledforanhour,untiltheCarmaniasenttheCapTrafalgartothebottom.Andthebattleoftheluxurylinerswasover.

Thebattlewasfoughtonthenumericallysatisfyingdayof9/14/1914.

TheCarmaniahadonlytwofunnels,sothecrewhadtoaddadummythirdfunneltomakeitlookliketheCapTrafalgar.TheGermanship,meanwhile,dismantledoneofitsforty-footfunnelsandrepaintedtheremainingfunnelsthesamecolorastheCarmania’s.

1914

CHRISTMASTRUCE

Thedaythefightingstopped—andasoccergamebrokeout.

Manymentooksnapshotslikethisoneshowingthemselvesposingwithenemysoldiers,andsentthemhometotheirfamiliestoprovethatitreallyhappened.TheChristmasfraternizationwasquicklycondemnedbygenerals,andanumberofparticipantswerecourt-martialed.

ChristmasDay1914sawmillionsofyoungmenfacingeachotherinadoublelineoftrenchesseveralhundredyardsapartthatsnakedhundredsofmilesacrossEurope.ThesesoldiershadseensomedesperatefightingintheopeningmonthsofWorldWarI,andplentymorelayahead.Butonthisparticularday,peaceseemedtobreakoutallover.Inviolationoforders,BritishandGermansoldiersclimbedoutoftheirtrenches

waving flags of truce and made their way into no-man’s-land to celebrateChristmaswiththeirenemies.Leavingthehorrorofwarbehindforoneday,theysharedChristmaspuddingandbeltedoutsongstogether.Theyexchangedtoastsand traded cigarettes and food. “Most peculiarChristmas I’ve ever spent, andeverlikelyto”scribbledoneBritishsoldierinhisdiary.Inoneplacealongtheline,GermansoldiersfromSaxonywerefraternizingwithScottishHighlanderswhen one of the Scots brought out a soccer ball. A fewminuteslaterafull-fledgedgamewasunderwayonthefrozenturfofno-man’s-land.Men who had been trying to kill each other just the day before playedenthusiasticallyformorethananhour.A German lieutenant, Johannes Niemann, wrote home about the game: “WeGermans really roared when a gust of wind revealed that the Scots wore nodrawersundertheirkilts.ThegamefinishedwithascoreofthreegoalstotwoinfavorofFritzagainstTommy.”Thenextday,theimpromptutruceendedasquicklyasitbegan...andthemenwhohadcelebratedtogetherreturnedtotheuglyjobofkillingeachother.

Thesoccergame,ofcourse,hadnoreferee;butthemenonbothsidestooka

perverseprideinplayingpreciselyaccordingtotherules.

OneWelshregimentmanningthetrenchesreceivedabarrelofbeerfromtheGermansfacingthemasaChristmaspresent.

“FANCYAGERMANSHAKINGYOURFLAPPER...ANDTHENAFEWDAYSLATERTRYINGTOPLUGYOU.”

—HERBERTSMITH,FIFTHBATTERY,ROYALFIELDARTILLERY

1917

THEBLACKSWALLOWOFDEATH

HewasthefirstAfrican-Americanmilitarypilot...andsomuchmore.

Gene Bullard’s last job was working as an elevator operator in NewYork’sRCA Building. He probably had the most amazing résumé of any elevatoroperatorinhistory.Bornthegrandsonofaslavein1894,hestowedawayonashiptoEuropewhenhewasjust ten.Hestartedprizefightingatagesixteen,andwhenWorldWarIbrokeout,hejoinedtheFrenchForeignLegion.Hisinfantryunitwasknownasthe“SwallowsofDeath.”Bullard saw two years of action at the front, and was badly wounded at theBattleofVerdun.Whilerecuperating,hevolunteeredfortheFrenchAirService.In1917hebecametheworld’sfirstblackcombatpilot.Involvedincountlessairskirmishes,hehadoneconfirmedkillandanotherunconfirmedone.After thewar he became awell-known character in Paris.He took drumming

lessonstogetinonthejazzcraze,andgotajobasabandleaderatZelli’sZigZagbarinMontmartre.Laterheownedaclubhimself.Buthisdaysofmilitaryserviceweren’tover.In 1939, Bullard was recruited to gather information for French intelligence.WhentheGermansinvadedin1940,hepickeduparifletofightforhisadoptedhomeland, and was severely wounded. He was smuggled out of Europe andreturnedtotheUnitedStates.Gene Bullard of Columbus, Georgia, won more than fifteen medals for hisservicetoFrance.In1954,whentheFrenchwererelightingtheeternalflameattheTomboftheUnknownSoldierattheArcdeTriompheinParis,whodidtheygivethathonorto?AnelevatoroperatorfromNewYork.

In1960BullardwasmadeaChevalieroftheFrenchLegionofHonor.Hisother decorations included theCroix deGuerre,Croix deLaFranceLibre,MedailleMilitaire,CrossoftheFrenchFlyingCorps,CroixdeCombattants,MedailleInter-Alliée,MedailleL’EtoilleRouge,andMedailledelaVictoire.

Inhisfirstdog-fight,BullardshotdownaGermanFokker,thenbarelymadeitbacktoAlliedlinesbeforehisenginediedandhecrash-landed.Whenhegotbacktobase,mechanicscountedseventy-eightbulletholesinhisSpadairplane.

Bullardsawhiswholelifeasafightagainstdiscrimination.Heemblazonedhisplanewiththemotto“Toutlesangquicouleestrouge!”—“Allbloodrunsred.”WhentheUnitedStatesenteredthewarin1917,BullardtriedtojointheU.S.ArmyAirCorps,butwasturneddownbecauseofhisrace.

1917

ONEAGAINSTWAR

America’smostpassionateandpersistentpacifist.

JeanetteRankinwasthefirstwomanelectedtotheHouseofRepresentatives.ARepublicanfromMontana,shevowedtorepresentwomenandchildrenalloverthecountry.Rankinwassworn inonApril2,1917.Just fourdays later, theHouse facedahistoricvoteonwhetherornottodeclarewaragainstGermany.Rankinvotedno.“Iwanttostandbehindmycountry,”shesaid,“butIcannotvoteforwar.”Herdecisionresultedinabarrageofcriticism.TheNewYorkTimessaiditwas“finalproofofthefeminineincapacityforstraightreasoning.”Rankinwasdefeatedatthenextelection.After more than twenty years working as a lobbyist for peace, Rankin waselected to a second term in 1940. After Japan bombed Pearl Harbor, Rankinfacedanothervoteonadeclarationofwar.Onceagain,shevotedno.ThatmadehertheonlymemberofCongresstovoteagainstwarwith Japan, and the only one to vote againstU.S. entry into bothWorldWarIandWorldWarII.“AsawomanIcan’tgotowar,andIrefuseto

sendanyoneelse,”shesaid.Unfriendlyepithetsrainedonherfromallquarters.Shewascalleda“skunk,”a“traitor,”anda“Nazi.”Againhervote led toherdefeatatthepolls.NooneevercalledJeanetteRankinaflip-flopper.In1968,attheageofeighty-seven, she ledamarchonWashington toopposewhat shecalled the“ruthlessslaughter” inVietnam.At theendofher life shewasasked if shewouldhavedoneanythingdifferently.“Yes,”shesaid.“Iwouldhavebeennastier.”

AfterRankin’svoteagainstwarwithJapanin1941,shewasconfrontedinthehallsofCongressbyamobofpress,politicians,andangryprotestors.ShebarricadedherselfintoaphoneboothandcalledCapitolHillsecurity,whofoughttheirwaythroughthecrowdandescortedhersafelytoheroffice.

RankinwaselectedtoCongressbeforewomeninmuchofthecountrycouldvote.Montanapassedafemalesuffragelawin1914,butwomeninmoststatescouldn’tvoteuntilratificationoftheNineteenthAmendment,in1920.

TheRankin campaign of 1917was an early pioneer in the use of “phonebanks” to get out the vote.According to aNew York Times report the dayaftertheelection,“Herfriendstelephonedtopracticallyeveryoneinthestatewhohadatelephone...andgreetedwhoeveransweredthetelephonewithacheery‘Goodmorning.HaveyouvotedforJeanetteRankin?’”

1921

THEFEMALELAWRENCEOFARABIA

TheaudaciousEnglishwomanwhodrewthebordersofmodernIraq.

Gertrude Bell was a Victorian woman who did things women just weren’tsupposed to do. Eschewing the idea of a proper marriage and quiet life inEngland,shemadetheMiddleEastherpassion.ItwasamongtheBedouinthatshetrulyfeltathome.IntheyearsbeforeWorldWarI,BelltraveledextensivelythroughouttheMiddleEast. Crisscrossing the Syrian and Arabian deserts, she developed anencyclopedic knowledge of the tribes and their chieftains, and wrote of hertravelsinwidelyacclaimedbooks.When war broke out she was recruited by British intelligence to obtain theloyaltyofArabsheiksthroughouttheMiddleEast.Bellboldlyventuredbehindenemy lines to gather information.When T. E. Lawrence set out to spark anArab revolt, he relied on invaluable research and intelligence supplied by theindefatigable Miss Bell. It was remarked that she was the brains behindLawrence’sbrawn.The headstrong Bell sometimes found herself frozen out by British militaryofficersresentfulthatawomanwastellingthemwhattodo.ButherknowledgeoftheArabworldwastoogreattoignore.SheprovedindispensabletomilitaryanddiplomaticeffortsintheMiddleEast.Afterthewar,in1921,BritishcolonialsecretaryWinstonChurchillaskedBelltocreate the borders of modern Iraq. She pushed to unite Shiites, Sunnis, andKurdsinonecountrydespitetheirmutualhostility,therebysettingthesceneformuchoftheturmoilthathassinceplaguedthattroubledcountry.GertrudeBell:awomandeterminedtomakehermarkinaman’sworld.Whichsheundoubtedlydid.

InfluentialsheiksandIslamicleaders,menwhoneverhadlookedonawomanunveiled,wouldsmokecigarettesanddrinkcoffeewithBell,seekingheradviceorhelp.Shebecameknownas“ElKhatun”...“TheLady.”

GertrudeBellflankedbyWinstonChurchillandT.E.Lawrence.ForhereffortsinWorldWarI,shewashonoredasaCommanderoftheBritishEmpire.

“EVERYARABINTHEPENINSULAKNOWSHER.WHENYOUSPEAKOF‘GERTRUDE,’EVERYENGLISHMANFROMCAIROTOTEHERANKNOWSWHOMYOUMEAN.”

—NEWYORKHERALD,1926

1929

ENIGMA

HowthePoleshelpedwinWorldWarIIbeforeitevenbegan.

On a Saturday in January 1929, a crate shipped from Berlin arrived at thecustomsoffice inWarsaw,Poland. Itwas soon followedby aGermanofficialexplaining that it had been shipped there by accident, and demanding it bereturnedtoGermanybeforegoingthroughcustoms.Thisarousedthesuspicionofcustomsofficers.Forcingopenthecrate,theytookphotosandmadediagramsoftheodd-lookingdeviceinsidebeforereturningittotheGermans.ThiswasPoland’sfirstintroductiontothefamousEnigmacodingmachine.No one had been able to break Germany’s Enigma code, but the Poles weredetermined to try. A team of brilliant young cryptographers, led by MarianRejewski, attackedEnigmawith innovativemathematical techniques.By1932they had built a working model of the machine and were decoding Germanmilitarymessages.Butitwasaconstantstruggleforcodebreakerstokeepup.In1938theGermanscreatedanewandimprovedEnigmamachine.ThePolescouldnolongerdecipherGermanmessages.Knowingthatwarwasontheway,theysharedtheirinformationwiththeFrenchandBritish,justweeksbeforetheGermansinvaded.Itwasapricelessgift.The Poles were decades ahead of other countries in breaking Enigma. Theireffortspaved theway for thenow famouscode-breakingeffort that eventuallyallowed the Allies to read the Germans’ most secret messages, which provedinstrumentalinwinningthewar.

TheroleplayedbythemassiveAllieddeciphermentprojectwasn’trevealeduntil1974.OneofthosemostsurprisedwasMarianRejewski,whoneverknewuntilthenjusthowcriticalhisprewarcode-breakingeffortsweretoeventualAlliedvictory.

“UNEMOMENTDESTUPEUR.”—AFRENCHINTELLIGENCEOFFICER,DESCRIBINGTHEMOMENTTHATTHE

POLESUNVEILEDTHEIRRECONSTRUCTEDENIGMAMACHINESTOTHEALLIESINJULYOF1939.

AnEnigmamachineinthecommandvehicleofGermangeneralHeinzGuderian.TheGermansbelievedEnigmawasunbreakable,andtrustedtheirmostimportantmessagestoit.

ThePolesgavetheirreconstructedEnigmamachinestoFranceandBritain.OneofthemachineswassmuggledtoLondoninthebaggageofplaywrightSachaGuitryandhiswife,actressYvonnePrintemps,soasnot to raise thesuspicionofGermanspies.Twoweekslater,GermanyinvadedPoland.

1937

THEGOODMANOFNANKING

TheNazibusinessmanwhobecameasaviorforthousands.

JapaneseforcessweepingthroughChinareachedthecapitalcityofNankingonDecember13,1937.Aftertakingcontrol,theybegantoexecuteChinesePOWs.The killing quickly spiraled out of control.Menwere rounded up for bayonetpractice.Womenwererapedbythetensofthousands.Peoplewerebeheadedforsport. Snapshots taken by Japanese soldiers captured the frenzy of violenceknowntohistoryastheRapeofNanking.A surprising hero emerged during this reign of terror: an unassumingGermanbusinessmannamedJohnRabe.ThesmallgroupofwesternersstillinNankingcreateda“SafetyZone,”hopingtomakeitasafehavenforrefugeesofwar.TheyelectedRabetheirleaderinthebelief that his Nazi Party membership would afford him influence with theJapanese.DesperateChinesebegantofloodtheSafetyZonetoescapethemassacre.WhenJapanesesoldierspursuedthemeventhere,Rabeassumedtheroleofprotector.He fearlessly confronted Japanese commanders, demanding that they control

theirsoldiers.Hethrewhisownpropertyopentorefugees.Hebeganpatrollingthe Safety Zone himself, pulling Japanese soldiers off of rape victims, andchasing themawaywithoutweapons.Hisonlydefense:anarmbandsportingaNaziswastika.“Theydon’twanttotanglewithaGerman,”hewroteinhisdiary.“UsuallyallIhavetodoisshout‘Deutsch’and‘Hitler’andtheyturnpolite.”Japanesetroopswentonaneight-weekorgyofmurderandviolenceinNanking,killinganestimatedthreehundredthousandmen,women,andchildreninwhatsome have called the forgotten holocaust. But more than two hundred fiftythousandcrowdedintotheSafetyZonewerespared...thanksinnosmallparttoagoodmannamedJohnRabe.

Rabe,incenter,withothermembersoftheSafetyCommittee.AfterreturningtoGermany,RabewrotealettertoHitlerabouttheatrocitiesinNanking,expectingtheFührertobeoutragedoverhisJapaneseallies.InsteadhewasarrestedbytheGestapoandorderednevertospeakabouthisexperiencesinChina.“Idon’tthinkhethoughtsomuchofHitlerafterthat,”saidhisgranddaughter,UrsulaReinhardt.

Tothisday,theJapanesegovernmentandJapanesetextbooksdownplaytheRapeofNanking,sayingthatthedeathtollhasbeengreatlyexaggerated.

“YOUHEAROFNOTHINGBUTRAPE.IFHUSBANDSORBROTHERSINTERVENE,THEY’RESHOT.”

—JOHNRABE

1940

THERESCUER

Fateofferedhimasecondchance...andhetookit.

It’scalled theMiracleofDunkirk. InMayof1940,Germanforcesadvancingthrough France were on the verge of capturing an entire Allied army. Nearlysurrounded,BritishandFrenchsoldiersfoughttheirwaytothecoastaltownofDunkirkinadesperatebidtoescape.TheBritishAdmiraltyputoutthecallforeverysmallcraftitcouldfindtohelpstageanemergencyevacuation.Yachts,fishingboats,motorlaunches,tug-boats,any vessel that could pull men off the beaches. Despite constant attack byGermanbombers,thismotleyfleetmanagedtorescuemorethanthreehundredthousandmen and bring them back to England.Winston Churchill called it a“miracleofdeliverance.”

One of the legion of heroic rescuers was a sixty-six-year-old retiree namedCharlesLightoller.Determinedtobringhomeeverymanhecould,hecrammedmore than 120 soldiers on his small motor yacht. Then he piloted thedangerouslyoverloadedvesselbackacrosstheEnglishChannel,dodgingbombsandbulletsalltheway.Perhaps his zeal to rescue as many men as possible was driven in part bymemoriesofaharrowingnightatseanearlythirtyyearsbefore.Itwasanightbecouldneverforget:lifeboatsbeinglaunchedonlyhalffull...criesofdistressinthewater...despairatnotbeingabletodomore.AnAprilnightin1912whenmore than nine hundred people perished in the icyNorthAtlantic, despite thebesteffortsofCharlesLightoller.SecondofficerontheRMSTitanic.

TheevacuationeffortwascalledOperationDynamo.Atthestart,nooneexpectedthatmorethanahandfulofsoldierscouldbesaved—butovertendays,338,000menwererescuedsotheycouldfightagain.

1940

THEMANWHOSAVEDBUCKINGHAMPALACE

Aroyalrescueofthefirstorder.

The air-raid sirens sounded at nine-thirty that Sundaymorning. As Big Benstrucknoon,theskiesoverLondonbeganfillingupwithwar-planes.It was September 15, now remembered as the fiercest day of the Battle ofBritain.MorethanfourhundredGermanbombersattackedLondon.AdolfHitlerwasdeterminedtodestroyBritain’swilltofight,andBuckinghamPalacewasaprime target. The official residence of the royal family had been hit twice inrecentdays,sufferingminordamage. Itseemedonlyamatterof timebefore itsufferedadirecthit.RAFfighterpilotsbattleddesperatelyalldaytoprotectthecity.Towardtheendofthebattle,SergeantRayHolmesshotdownonebomberandthensawanotherGermanplanemaking anunobstructed run straight toward thepalace.Holmeswasoutofammunition.Buthedidn’thesitate.HeflewhisHurricanefighterdirectlyintotheGermanplane,slicingoffitstailandsendingithurtlingtothegroundbelow.ThenhemanagedtoparachuteoutofhisownplanebeforeitcrashedonBuckinghamPalaceRoad.Streetcrewslaterpavedover theremnantsofHolmes’splane,whichremainedburiedformore thansixtyyears,untilarchaeologists recovered theengineandsomeotherpartsin2004.Thedigwasbroadcastliveontelevision.Eighty-nine-year-oldRayHolmeslookedonwithinterest.“Whatgoesthroughayoungpilot’smindasheconfrontstheGermans?”hewasasked.“Nothingparticularly,”answeredthemanwhosavedthepalace.“Excepthejusthastogoandhaveabashathim.That’sall.”

Starting in August of 1940, German bombers attacked Britain for eighty-fourstraightdays.TheyfailedtobreaktheBritishspiritandlostanestimated2,765 planes in the process. “Never in the field of human conflict was somuchowedby somany to so few”saidWinstonChurchill inpraiseof theRAFpilotswhoultimatelyrepulsedtheGermanattack.

1940

THELADYISASPY

Frombananadancertodecoratedhero.

JosephineBakerwasadancer,asinger,andadaringsexsymbol.Shewasalsoa highly successful intelligence operative. The American-born Baker came toParisinthe1920s,andherprovocativedancingtookthetownbystorm.In1940,whenwarbrokeout,sheofferedherservicestotheFrenchResistance.“Francehasmademewhat Iam,”she toldaFreeFrench leader.“Parisianshavegivenmeeverything,especiallytheirhearts.NowIwillgivethemmine.”Oneofhersuperiorswasskeptical:“Iwasafraidshewasoneofthoseshallowshow-businesspersonalitieswhowouldshatterlikeglassifexposedtodanger.”Butsheprovedcoolasacucumber.WhentheGermansinvadedParis,sheletmembersoftheResistancehideoutinher remote château.Dispatched to neutralLisbon to establish contactwith theFreeFrench,shesetupconcertsasacoverstory,andcarriedvital informationwrittenwithinvisibleinkonhersheetmusic.“ThedestinyoftheFreeFrench,”saidherboss,ColonelPaolle,“waswritteninpartonthepagesof‘TwoLovesHaveI.’”Invitedtodiplomaticparties,sheactedthepartofaditzydancer,andthenwrotedown everything she heard. “My notes would have been compromising ifdiscovered,”shesaidlater,“butwhowoulddaresearchJosephineBakertotheskin.”After the war Charles de Gaulle awarded her the Légion d’Honneur and theMedailledelaRésistanceforherefforts.Whenshedied,thesensationwhohadonce shocked Paris with her banana dance became the only woman ever toreceiveatwenty-one-gunsaluteinFrance.

ThecitationonBaker’sLégiond’Honneurnotedthatshepossessed“unsang-

froidremarquable.”

“C’ESTUNEFEMMECOURAGEUSE.”—DANIELMAOURANI,LEDEUXIEMEBUREAU,THEFRENCHEQUIVALENTOF

THECIA

BakerjoinedtheFolliesBergerein1926.Justtwentyyearsold,shebecameoneofthehighest-paidperformersinFrance.Herfamousbananadance,performedtoplessinaskirtofrhinestone-studdedbananas,droveaudiencescrazy.

1942

HEROESO’HARE

Chicago’sO’HareAirportisnamedafterahero.Butwhichone?

ButchO’HarewasAmerica’sfirstflyingaceofWorldWarII.OnFebruary20,1942,hespottedaformationofJapanesebomberspreparingtoattackthecarrierUSSLexington in thewatersoffNewGuinea.Diving into theirmidst,heshotdown six of them single-handedly, saving the ship and the lives of thousandsaboard.ThisactionwonhimtheCongressionalMedalofHonor.Butch died in combat the following year. In 1949 the citizens of ChicagohonoredButchO’Harebynamingtheirairportafterhim.That’snotallthereistothestory,however.Butch’sfatherwasalawyerandracetrackownernamedEddieO’Hare.“ArtfulEddie,”ashewasknown,gotinvolvedwithChicagomobbossAlCaponeinthe1920s.Thatconnectionmadehimatonofmoney,buthewasworriedabouttheimpact onhis teenage son.O’Harewasdead set onhisButchgetting into the

U.S.NavalAcademy,andhefiguredhewouldhavetobreakawayfromCaponebeforethatcouldhappen.So“ArtfulEddie”cutadealwith thefeds.For thesakeofhisson’sfuture,hevolunteered to risk his life and inform on Capone. He detailed the mobster’soperationsforIRSagents,andledthemtoabookkeeperwhocouldtestifyaboutCapone’sillegalincome.Asaresult,prosecutorswereabletoconvictCaponeoncharges of tax evasion and send him to prison in 1931. ButchO’Hare got anappointmenttotheNavalAcademyayearlater.So while O’Hare Airport bears the name of a World War II hero, it alsocommemorates a father willing to do anything for his son, and theman whohelpedprosecutorswintheirwaragainstAlCapone.

“ONEOFTHEMOSTDARING,IFNOTTHEMOSTDARING,SINGLEACTIONINTHEHISTORYOFCOMBATAVIATION.”

—FRANKLIND.ROOSEVELT,AWARDINGBUTCHO’HARETHECONGRESSIONALMEDALOFHONOR

EddieO’HarealsoplayedacriticalroleinthetrialofCapone.Herevealedto prosecutors that the fixwas in—that Capone’s henchmen had bribed orcoercedeveryonein the jurypool.Actingon that information,JudgeJames

Wilkerson switched jury panels with another judge on the first day of thetrial.ThejuryselectedfromthatpanelwentontoconvictCaponeandsendhimtoAlcatraz.

EddieO’HarepaidtheultimatepriceforinformingonCapone.In1939,shortlybeforeCaponewasreleasedfromprison,hewasgunneddownontheordersofChicagogangsterFrankNitti.

1942

GADZOOKS!

Jazz,theMarines,radio,andtheweaponthathelpedwinWorldWarII.

SergeantBobBurnswasachampionshipriflemanintheMarineCorpsduringWorldWar I. But as good a marksman as he was, he was a better musician.BurnsorganizedaMarineCorpsJazzBandthatwasafavoriteofGeneralJohnPershingandplayedtotroopsacrossEurope.Burns was especially well known for playing an instrument that he inventedhimself.Itwasmadeoutoftwopiecesofgaspipeandawhiskeyfunnel.Itwassortofacombinationofatromboneandaslidewhistle,anditbecameBurns’strademark.Heevencoinedafunnynameforit.AfterWorldWarI,Burnsbecamearadioentertainerandamoviestar.Hewasknown around the country as the “Arkansas Traveler,” casting himself as ahomespun rube telling tales of theOzarks. But the cornerstone of his successwasthatwackyinstrumentofhis.Inthelate1930sandearly’40s,attheheightofhispopularity,thousandsoftoyversionsweremanufacturedandsoldtokidsacrossAmerica.Burns’sinstrumentisforgottentoday,butthenamehedreamedupforitliveson

—withaverydifferentmeaning.IntheearlydaysofWorldWarIIthearmywastestinganewshoulder-mountedantitank gun called theM1A1 at the Aberdeen Proving Ground. The soldierstryingitoutthoughtthatitborearemarkableresemblancetotheoddcontraptionBurns had made famous. And so it got the nickname by which it is stillremembered.Thebazooka.

Burns’sbazookasoundedlikealow-tonedsaxophonewitharangeofaboutsixnotes.Burnswasequallyadeptatplayingtheinstrumentforlaughsorturninginvirtuosojazzperformanceswithit.

TheUnitedStatesmanufacturednearlyhalfamillionbazookasduringWorldWarII,alongwith15millionoftheantitankrocketsitfired.ThebazookaprovedsosuccessfulatstoppingenemytanksthattheGermanscopieditoutright.Theydid,however,giveitanothername,callingitthePanzerschreck,or“tankterror.”

WheredidBurnsgetthename?Hesaidoncethathetookitfromthenow-obsoleteslangword“bazoo,”meaningmouth,asin“heblowshisbazoo”(hetalkstoomuch).Hetoldotherpeoplethatthenamemimickedthesoundthestrangeinstrumentmade.

1942

ANOFFERHECOULDN’TREFUSE

HowanotoriousmobsterplayedapartinAmerica’swareffort.

Warcanmakeforsomestrangebedfellows.Nonestranger,perhaps,thanwhenU.S.NavalIntelligencehookedupwiththeMafiaduringWorldWarII.ItbeganwhentheSSNormandie,aformerFrenchoceanlinerbeingconvertedinto a troop ship, rolled over and burned at its New York City moorings inFebruary of 1942. The navy thought it might be sabotage. Concerned aboutdockside security, and always looking for ways to gather information, NavalIntelligencedecidedtoseekhelpfromNewYork’smostpowerfulmobster:Charles“Lucky”Luciano.Luciano was serving a thirty-year jail term, but he agreed to cooperate. He“encouraged”hisganglandassociatestoworkwiththenavy.Mobcapospassedthewordtohundredsofdockworkersandfishermenthattheyshouldreportany

suspiciousactivity...orelse.WhentheU.S.wasgettingreadytoinvadeSicily,Luciano put them in touch with people who had connections to the Sicilianunderworld.After thewar, thenavy tried tocoverup itswartimemarriage to themob.Allrecordsweredestroyed,andthenavyofficiallydeniedthattheyhadgottenmuchinthewayofsubstantialhelpfromLuciano.Tothisdayitisunclearexactlyhowusefulhewas.But consider this: despite a huge public outcry, Luciano was released fromprisonanddeportedtoSicilylessthansixmonthsafterthewarwasover,thoughhewasyearsawayfromcompletinghissentence.Areward,perhaps, toamanwhosecontributionthegovernmentcouldneveraffordtoofficiallyrecognize.

“THEGREATERPARTOFTHEINTELLIGENCEDEVELOPEDINTHESICILIANCAMPAIGNWAS...FROMTHECHARLIE‘LUCKY’CONTACT.”

—LIEUTENANTCOMMANDERCHARLESHAFFENDEN,NAVALINTELLIGENCE,AFTERTHEWAR(HEWASLATERDISCIPLINEDBYTHENAVYFORMAKINGTHOSE

COMMENTS)

Lateinlife,LucianoclaimedthathehadorderedhismentosetthefirethatsunktheNormandie,asawayofshakingdownthenavy.ButtheelderlyLucianowasfamousformakingwildlyexaggeratedclaimsabouthisearlierdays,andanavyinvestigationshowednoevidenceofsabotage.

LucianovolunteeredtoparachuteintoSicilyinordertogatherinformationpriortotheAlliedinvasion.Thenavyturnedhimdown.

Aparadeofbig-namemobstersgotintotheact.MeyerLansky(seenhere),BugsySiegel,andFrankCostellowereallinvolvedingatheringinformationfor

thenavy.LanskyinparticularhatedHitlerforhisactionsagainstEuropeanJews.

1942

THEYOUNGESTHERO

Aboydeterminedtodoaman’sjob.

In August of 1942, Calvin Graham walked into a recruiting station in FortWorth,Texas.HewasshippedouttothePacific,wherehejoinedthecrewoftheUSSSouthDakotaasagunner.Itwasn’tlongbeforeGrahamfoundhimselfinharm’sway.FirstcametheBattleofSantaCruzinOctober.TwoweekslateritwastheBattleofGuadalcanal, inwhich the battleship took forty-seven hits in a desperate night action.Grahamwas knocked down a stairway by an explosion that peppered his jaw withshrapnel.Thoughseriouslywounded,heworkedthroughthenight,fightingfiresandpullingfellowcrewmentosafety.AndhowdidthenavyrewardCalvinGraham’sheroisminbattle?Theyshippedhimstateside,puthiminthebrigforthreemonths,strippedhimofhisveteran’sbenefits, andgavehimadishonorabledischarge. It seems that after thebattle,Grahamcarelesslyletslipthathehadliedonhisenlistmentpapers.Specifically,hehadliedabouthisage.

CalvinGrahamwastwelveyearsold.HeisbelievedtobetheyoungestofthethousandsofunderageservicemenwhofoughtfortheUnitedStatesinWorldWarII.Thenavydidn’tquiteknowwhat todowithGraham.Eventuallyhissistergothim sprung by threatening to go to the papers. Two days after his thirteenthbirthday, he rejoined his Fort Worth classmates in the seventh grade—undoubtedlytheonlyveteranin

Graham’sgunneryofficerontheSouthDakota(andthemantowhomheadmittedhistrueage)wasSargentShriver,wholatermarriedJFK’ssister,EuniceKennedy,headedthePeaceCorps,andranforpresidentin1976.

Calvin Graham joined the navy to flee a broken home and an abusivestepfather.He said the recruitingofficerknewhewasunderagebuthadnoidea that he was only twelve. A navy dentist who noticed his twelve-yearmolarsweren’tintriedtohavehimdischarged,butGrahammanagedtosliphisfileintothe“approved”pilewhenthedentistwasn’tlooking.

Grahamneverstoppedfightingtohavehisnavyservicerecognized.In1978,PresidentJimmyCarterorderedthenavytogranthimanhonorabledischarge.Andin1994,thenavyfinallyagreedtogivehimaPurpleHeartforhisinjuriessufferedoffGuadalcanal.Grahamdidn’tlivetoseeit,havingdiedtwoyearsbefore.

1943

THEWRIGHTSTUFF

Awartimeshortagethatledtosomethingsilly.

DuringWorldWarII,JapanesearmiesintheFarEastcutoffAmerica’saccesstoitsrubbersupply.Thecountryfacedashortagesoseverethatthegovernmentimplementedgasolinerationing,eventhoughtherewasplentyofgas,inordertoconservetherubberusedincartires.Scientists got busy searching for a synthetic rubber substitute. At GeneralElectric, engineer James Wright tried to find a way to make a rubber-likesubstanceoutofsilicone.Onedayin1943hepouredboricacidintoatesttubefilledwithsiliconeoil,hopingtheywouldcombinetomakehardrubber.Instead,themixtureturnedintoasoft,gooeyputty.Pullingsomeoutofthetesttube,hedroppeditonthetable.Itbounced.GE sent samples of thenew substance to scientists around theworld to see ifanyone could figure out a use for the stuff. Nobody could, although theycertainlyenjoyedplayingwith it.Thenewsubstancewasputon theshelfasafailure.In 1950, amarketing consultant in Connecticut named PeterHodgson got hishandsonsomeofthestufffromachemistfriendandsawagoldmineinit.Heknewrightawaythatwhilescientistsmightregarditasuseless,kidswouldloveit.Hepackedtheputtyintoplasticeggsandgaveitanameweallknowtoday:SillyPutty.

Morethan300millioneggscontaining4,500tonsofsillyputtyhavebeensoldsince1950.Onitsfiftiethbirthday,in2000,SillyPuttywasenshrinedintheSmithsonianInstitution,rightnexttothehula-hoop.

Numerousnewspapers,magazines,andwebsitesclaimthattheastronautsofApollo8tookSillyPuttytothemoon,andusedittoalleviateboredomandaffixtoolstothewallsofthespacecraft.Sadtosay,that’sanurbanmyth.NASA,the

makersofSillyPutty,andApollo8astronautJimLovellallsayit’snottrue.

1943

PIGEONSINAPELICAN

Theweaponssystemcontrolledbyabirdbrain.

DuringWorldWarII,theU.S.Navybeganworkonarocket-propelledguidedmissile,butprototypesoftheso-called“Pelican”missilewerenotperforminguptoexpectations.Then stepped forwarda scientistwhohadanunusual idea forhowtosteerthemissiletoitstarget.Apigeonwouldcontroltheguidancesystem.FamedbehavioristB.F.Skinnerbelievedhecouldusepositivereinforcementtotrainthepigeonstoguidemissilestothetarget—althoughtheoutcomemightnotbe toopositivefor thebird.Heconvinced thePentagontoprovidefundingfortheidea.Thusbegan“ProjectPigeon.”A lens andmirror systemprojected an image of the distant target on a screendirectly in front of the pigeon. The bird was trained to peck at the target,

activatingamechanismthatwouldturnthemissileinthatdirection.Asoutlandishas thatmightsound,Skinnerandhis teamsucceeded in trainingthe pigeons and building a prototype homing device. They were able todemonstratethatitwasbothhighlyeffectiveandeasytomanufacture.Butintheend, thepigeonsnevergotoff theground.Neitherscientistsnorgeneralswereabletotaketheprojectseriouslyenoughtoactuallyputthehomingdeviceinamissileandtestit.Andsoitwasthatamissilewithabirdbrainwasshotdownforgood.

“HELL,THAT’SBETTERTHANRADAR.”—MITEXPERT,REVIEWINGPIGEONGUIDANCETESTRESULTS

SkinnerneverlostenthusiasmforProjectPigeon.Fifteenyearsafterthewar,hewasstilldefendingit,suggestingthatpigeonscouldguidearockettothemoon.

The“Pelican”wasmorearadio-controlledrocketplanethanitwasaguidedmissile.Itneversawaction,butitsdevelopmentledtothe“Bat”guidedmissile(nobatswereinvolved)whichwasusedtosinkseveralJapaneseshipsintheclosingdaysofthewar.

Thepropotypeofthemissilenoseconeheldthreepigeons—redundantguidancesystems,justlikeNASAwouldlateruseinthespaceprogram.

1943

ONE-SIDEDBATTLE

Theconsequencesoffightingblind.

In 1942, the Japanese invaded and occupied theAleutian islands ofAttu andKiska.ItwasthefirsttimeAmericansoilhadbeenoccupiedbyanenemysincetheWarof1812,andtheUnitedStateswasdeterminedtothrowthemout.The Americans retook the island of Attu in May of 1943, suffering heavycasualties.Then,inAugust,cametheinvasionofKiska.AjointAmerican-Canadianforceofthirty-fivethousandhitthebeaches,backedup by a massive naval fleet. The initial landings were unopposed, but thesoldiers knew from experience that the Japanese would want to lure them inbefore answering their fire. The battle soon turned into a nightmare. Heavygunfire could be heard, but thick fog made it impossible to see the enemy.Reports of casualties started filtering in, andwoundedmenwere taken to therear. Soldiers moved slowly forward, clambering up tough mountain ridges,firingastheywent.After twodaysofheavy fighting,with thirty-two soldiersdeadandmore than

fiftywounded,theAlliesmadeastunningdiscovery:Therewasnoenemy.TheJapanese,itturnedout,hadstagedacunningevacuationthreeweeksbefore,pulling six thousand men off the island without American blockaders evenhaving a clue. The battle deaths were all from friendly fire. Americans andCanadians had fought with great bravery. But, as it turned out, they wereshootingateachother.

“SURPRISEWASACHIEVED,BUTITWASNOTTHEJAPANESEWHOWERESURPRISED.”

—ARMYREPORTONTHEBATTLE

Theinvasion,code-namedCottage,waslaterreferredtobyTimemagazineasaJANFU:JointArmyNavyFoul-Up.

1943

ACOUNRTYOFHEROES

HowthecitizensoftinyDenmarkstooduptoAdolfHitler.

In September of 1943, Adolf Hitler signed an order for Denmark’s Jewishpopulation, as yet largely untouched by the Holocaust, to be deported to thedeathcamps.NaziofficialsplannedtobegintherounduponthenightofOctober1.MorethanathousandGermanpoliceandGestapoofficerscametoDenmarktohandletheaction.ShipsandtrainswerereadiedtowhisktheJewsaway.TheresponseofthecitizensofDenmarkdeservestoberememberedforalltime.TheDanishgovernment,tippedoffabouttheroundup,warnedJewishfamiliestogo into hiding.Many non-JewishDanes risked their lives to hide and protecttheirJewishneighbors.Thatledtoaspontaneousnationwideeffort tosmuggleDenmark’sJewstosafetyinSweden—“aconspiracyofdecency,”oneauthorhascalledit.Haphazardatfirst,therescuemissionsoonbecameanorganizedeffortof the Danish underground. Churches and hospitals were used as gathering

points.Universitiescloseddownforaweek—andstudentsworkedsidebysidewithresistancefighterstogettheJewssecretlytothecoast.From there,more than three hundred fishing boats ferriedDenmark’s Jews toSweden, which welcomed them with open arms. More than 90 percent ofDenmark’sseventhousandJewsmanagedtoescapetheGermansweep.Therewasnoonehero.Therewasacountryofheroes.Which iswhy Israel’sHolocaustmemorialYadVashemhonorstheentireDanishpeopleas“RighteousAmong Nations” for risking the wrath of Germany to help their Jewishcountrymenintheirhourofneed.

ItisworthnotingthatDenmark’sJewsmightneverhavebeensavedbutforaGermandiplomat,GeorgeDuckwitz,whotippedofftheDanishgovernmenttotheimpendingroundup.AndmanyGermanmilitaryofficersinDenmark—perhapsseeingwhichwaythewarwasgoing—turnedablindeyetowhatwasgoingon.

ThecrossingtoSwedenwasnotfree—Danishfishermendemandedsteepfeesforthepotentiallydangerouspassage.ButmanyDanesopenedtheirpursestototalstrangerssothatnofamilywouldbeunabletocrossforlackoffunds.

When the Swedish government publicly offeredDanish Jews asylum, anofficial German communiqué referred to the Swedes as “Swine in dinnerjackets.”

1944

THEGREATESTHOAXINHISTORY

To make the invasion of Normandy a success required deception on a grandscale.

In the spring of 1944, Allied commander Dwight Eisenhower gave GeneralGeorgePattonamightyarmytospearheadtheinvasionofFrance.TheFirstU.S.ArmyGroup consisted of eleven divisions assembled near theWhiteCliffs ofDover,readyingtocrosstheEnglishChannelat itsnarrowestpointandinvadeFranceatPas-de-Calais.Butitwasn’tarealarmy—itwasagiantconjob.The Allies wanted to convince Hitler that the planned invasion was just adiversion,thattherealinvasionwasgoingtocomemorethanonehundredmilesaway,nearCherbourg.SobeganOperationQuicksilver.Set designers from London’s famous Shepperton Studios were brought in tocreate the illusion of a massive army where there was none. They created

battalionsof rubber tanks,andregimentsofwoodensoldiers.Canvasairplaneswereparkedon fake runways,harbors filledwithdummy landingcraft.Radiooperatorssenthugeamountsofbogustraffic,orderstoandfromunitsthatdidn’texist.AprofessorofarchitecturefromBritain’sRoyalAcademyusedbrokensewagepipes and rusty old oil tanks to create a fake refinery. Movie studio windmachinesblewcloudsofdustover thescene,makingit lookas ifconstructionwasproceedingatafuriousrate.ThedeceptionsfooledHitlercompletely.EvenaftertheAlliesstormedashoreinNormandyonJune6,theGermansheldtheirPanzerdivisionsinreserve,waitingforaphantominvasionfromaghostarmythatwaspurelytheproductofAlliedimagination.ThatgavetheAlliesthetimetheyneededtosecurethebeachheadandmakepossiblethetriumphofD-Day.

GeneralPattonwasdiscouragednottobeleadingtherealinvasion,buthewarmedtohisroleascommanderofanonexistentarmy,racingaroundthesouthofEnglandmakingfightingspeechesandmaintainingahighprofile.“I’manatural-bornham,”hesaid.

TheAmericanshadanotherghostarmy,theTwenty-thirdHeadquartersSpecialTroops,whichpracticedsimilardeceptionsthroughoutthewar.Artistsanddesignerswereingreatdemandtocreatetheillusionsneededtofooltheenemy.OnesoldierwhoservedintheunitwasayetunknownfashiondesignernamedBillBlass.

NumerousotherruseswerealsoemployedtomisleadtheGermans.ActorM.E.Clifton-James,seenhere,impersonatedBritishgeneralBernardMontgomery,andtraveledtoGibraltarandAlgiersshortlybeforeD-DaytoconvinceGermansthatsomethingwascookingthere.

1944

ISPARISBURNING?

Parisontheeveofdestruction...andtheonlymanwhocansavethecityhasorderstodestroyit.

AlliedarmieswererollingthroughFranceinAugustof1944,butAdolfHitlerwasdeterminedtheywouldnevergettoParis.HehandpickedGeneralDietrichvonCholtitztotakecommandofthecity.VonCholtitzwasaherooftheRussianfront,buthehadneverhadanassignmentlikethisone.“Ireceivedorders,”hesaid,“toturnParisintoamassofruinsandtofightanddieamidstitswreckage.”Von Choltitz prepared to do his duty. He ordered explosives planted inlandmarks such as Notre-Dame Cathedral and Les Invalides. He told hissuperiors that he was ready to blow up the Arc de Triomphe and the EiffelTower.Hitler had chosen von Choltitz because of his unswerving loyalty. But themonocledgeneralwas troubledbyhisorders.Hecouldn’t bear togodown inhistoryasthemanwhodestroyedParis.

So hemade a decision that could have earned him an execution.As pressuregrewonhimtobegindestructionofthecity,hesecretlyagreedtoatrucewiththeResistance,andgotamessagetotheAlliesbeggingthemtoinvade...butquickly.TheyneededtoenterPariswithinforty-eighthours;otherwise,hewouldbeforcedtocarryouthisorders.TheAllieshadbeenplanningtobypassParis,butwhenGeneralOmarBradleygot the message, he acted fast. “Have the French Division hurry the hell inthere,”heordered.In his Berlin bunker, Hitler screamed: “Is Paris burning?” But thanks to vonCholtitz...theCityofLightwassaved.

VonCholtitzsurrenderedthecityafterabrieffight,forgoingthedestructivehouse-to-housebattlethatHitlerhadordered.TheGermanHighCommandconsideredvonCholtitzatraitor,andhewasostracizedbyfellowGermanveteransafterthewar.

ThoughHitler’sarmiesconqueredParisandoccupieditformorethanfifteenhundreddays,theFührerhimselfspentonlyafewhoursthereinJune1940,andneverreturned.

Asheawaited theAllies,vonCholtitz fearedhewouldbedeprivedofhiscommand for disobeying destruction orders. But the German ambassador,OttoAbetz, agreed to help by sending a telegram toBerlin protesting vonCholtitz’s“brutality.”ThatconvincedBerlinhewasbeingtough,andboughthimtheextrafewdaysheneeded.

“PARISMUSTNOTFALLINTOTHEHANDSOFTHEENEMY,ORIFITDOES,HEMUSTFINDTHERENOTHINGBUTAFIELDOFRUINS.”

—HITLER’SORDERSTOVONCHOLTITZ,AUGUST23,1944

1944

PATTON’SPRAYER

Everybodytalksabouttheweather,butonegeneraldecidedtotakeaction.

InDecemberof1944,GeneralGeorgePatton’sThirdArmyfounditselfboggeddown inBelgium.TheGermanswereonlypart of theproblem.Patton’s armywas also hampered by terrible weather: rain, fog, and floods were makingadvancenearlyimpossible.Notcontenttositidlyby,Pattonabruptlysummonedoneofhisofficersandtoldhimwhathewanted:Aprayerforgoodweather.TheofficerhecalledonwasThirdArmychaplainJamesO’Neill.“I’mtiredofhavingtofightmudandfloodsaswellasGermans,”Pattontoldhim.“Seeifwecan’t getGod towork on our side.”O’Neill got right towork.The prayer hewrotebeseechedtheAlmightyto“restraintheseimmoderaterains”and“grantusfairweatherforbattle.”When he brought it back to Patton, the general told him he wanted 250,000copies printed up. “We’ve got to get everyman in the Third Army to pray,”Pattonsaid.ThesoldiersreceivedtheprayercardonDecember22,theverydaythey were supposed to launch a desperate counterattack in the Battle of theBulge.Asifbymagic,therainandfogdisappeared.Sixdaysofperfectweather

followed,duringwhichtheThirdArmyhandedtheGermansacrushingdefeat.PattoncalledO’Neillintohisoffice.“Chaplain,you’rethemostpopularmaninthisheadquarters.YousurestandingoodwiththeLordandthesoldiers.”Thenhe pinned a Bronze Star on O’Neill . . . a medal for a prayer that workedwonders.

“WEMUSTASKGODTOSTOPTHESERAINS!”—GENERALGEORGES.PATTON

ThiscopyoftheprayercardwassavedbyPFCEdwardH.Ormsby,whowaswoundedintheensuingbattle.

1944

FU-GOATTACK

TheintercontinentalweaponsusedtoattackAmerica.

Fourmonths after the Japanese attackonPearlHarbor, sixteenbombers tookofffromthedeckoftheaircraftcarrierHornettoconductadaringbombingraidonTokyo.Whiletheattackdidlittledamage,itwasapsychologicalblow.Eagertostrikeback,Japanesewarplannerssearchedforawaytohit theAmericanmainland.Aftertwoyearsofintensivetop-secretpreparation,Japanunleashedtheworld’sfirstintercontinentalweaponontheUnitedStatesin1944:Bomb-carryingballoons.It may sound funny, but it was anything but. Over a period of months, theJapanese launched more than six thousand of the so-called “FuGo” weaponsagainsttheUnitedStates.TheballoonsweredesignedtocatchthejetstreamforaquickcrossingofthePacific,thendropdownonAmerica’scities,forests,andfarmlands. Each one carried four incendiary bombs for starting fires, and a

shrapnelbombforsowingterror.AnestimatedonethousandoftheballoonscamedownintheU.S.SomereachedasfarasMichigan,butmostcamedowninthePacificNorthwest.Onekilledsixpicnickers inOregon,whileanother temporarilyshutdownaplant inHanford,Washington,thatwaspartoftheatomicbombproject.Thedamagewasminimal, but the threatwas real.Thegovernment’s responsewas tocensor allnewsof theattacks.This “defenseof silence”convinced theJapaneseHighCommandthattheprogramwasafailure,andtheydiscontinueditbeforetheirnewweaponofterrorcouldreachitsfullpotential.

Thethreehundred–poundpayloadincludednavigationinstruments,fusemechanism,andincendiarybombs,threeofwhichcanbeseenhangingfromthebottomring.

Thesphericalballoonswerethirty-threefeetacross.Becauseofthehighwindsinthejetstream,thejourneyacrossthePacifictookonlyaboutfourdays.

“WINDSHIPWEAPON”—TRANSLATIONOFFU-GO,THENAMEGIVENTOTHEBALLOONBOMBS

HadtheJapanesecontinuedtheprograminthespringandsummerof1945,theballoonswouldhavehittheU.S.attheheightofforest-fireseason,withapotential for creating chaos in the western states. But the news blackoutsucceededinendingtheprogramprematurely.

1945

FLAGDAY

Secondtime’sthecharm.

APphotographerJoeRosenthalwashavingabadday.ComingashoreonIwoJima tocover the fighting there,he slippedona ladder and fell from theboatintotheocean.Onceashore,heheardaboutaflag-raisingonMountSuribachi—agreat opportunity for a picture—butwas frustrated to learnhewasprobablytoolatetocatchit.Still,he joinedsomesoldiershikingup themountain.Theycameunderheavyfire.Whentheywerehalfwayup,soldierscomingdownbroughtRosenthalthedisappointingnewsthattheflagwasalreadyup.Hethoughtaboutheadingback,butdecidedtokeepgoing.Goodcall.Atthetop,hesawthataflaghadalreadybeenraised.ButhealsosawagroupofMarinesgettingready to raiseanother flag. It turnedout thataMarinecolonelhadorderedasecondflag-raisingsothatthefirstflagcouldbekeptforposterity.Rosenthalalmostmissedtheshot.Hewastryingtogethisbulkycamerasetuponapileofrocksastheflagstartedgoingup,andhewasn’tevenlookingintheviewfinder when he pressed the button. He had no idea if he had snapped adecentpicture.Whenthefilmwasdeveloped,itturnedoutthatframes9and11wereruinedbylightleaks.But frame 10, the picture snapped that day, turned out bold and beautiful.“Here’soneforalltime,”saidthephotoeditorwhofirstsawit.Printedonfrontpages across the country, itwon a Pulitzer Prize and soon became one of themostfamouswarphotographsinhistory.Notbadforabadday.

“ITISAPICTUREOFAMIRACLE.NOMANWHOSURVIVED

THATBEACHCANTELLYOUHOWHEDIDIT.”—JOEROSENTHAL

Thiswasthefirstflag-raising,photographedbyMarineCorpsstaffsergeantLouisLowery.Thisflagwascarefullypreserved,butthesecondflag,theoneinthefamousphoto,flewforthreeweeks,untilwindscheweditup.Noonethoughttosaveit—itwasjustthereplacementflag,afterall.

ThesixmenwhoraisedtheflagwereIraHayes,FrankSousley,HarlanBlock,MichaelStrank,JohnBradley,andReneGagnon.Threeofthem,Sousley,Block,andStrank,werekilledwithindays.

TheBattleofIwoJimaclaimedthelivesof6,821Americansoldiers.

1945

SHADESOFGRAY

Awartimereplacementwhowasaninspirationtomillions.

On Sunday, May 20, 1945, the St. Louis Browns trounced the New YorkYankeesinbothgamesofadoubleheader.BrownsoutfielderPeteGraywasthestar of the day. In the first game he had three hits, driving in two runs andscoring a third. In the second game he scored the go-ahead run, and made aspectacularcatchintheoutfield.Prettyspectacularforaguywithonearm.DuringWorldWar II, largenumbersofbaseballplayers joined themilitary, soteamshadtolookforreplacements.OneofthosecalledupwasPeteGray.WhenGraywassix,hefelloffafarmwagonandhisrightarmgotcaughtinthespokes.Ithadtobeamputatedattheelbow.Anaturalright-hander,Graylearnedto throw and bat using only his left hand.His passion for baseball led him to

spend untold hours perfecting away to catch a ball, tuck his glove under hisstump, then roll the ball across his chest to his throwing hand in one quickmotion.Eventually he quit school to pursue a baseball career. He joined the pennant-contendingSt.Louis team in1945after a stellaryear in theminors,wherehebatted.333andhit6homeruns.Hismajorleaguenumberswerenowherenearasstrong—heplayedinonly77gamesandbatted.211.Whentheyearwasout,andtheregularsreturned,hewasgonefromthemajorsforgood.Buttomanyhewasahero.PeteGray:amanunwillingtoletadversitygetinthewayofadream.

Graywasaskedhowgoodhemighthavebeenifhehadneverlosthisarm.“Whoknows?”hesaid.“MaybeIwouldn’thavedoneaswell.Iprobablywouldn’thavebeenasdetermined.”

NewspaperreportersreferredtoGrayas“WonderBoy.”SomeofGray’steammatesresentedhimbecausetheythoughthewassignedasagimmick,toputfansintheseats.

1945

ABOUTFACE

Imaginesavingthelifeofanally...whowindsupbecomingyourbitterestfoe.

Inthe1920s,HoworkedasabusboyattheParkerHouseHotelinBoston.By1954hehadbecomepresidentofanindependentNorthVietnam.Bythe1960s,theonetimeU.S.allywasAmerica’sPublicEnemyNo.1.

In1945,anAmericanintelligenceteamcode-named“Deer”parachutedintothejunglesofAsiatohelpabandofguerrillasfightingtheJapanese.Theyfoundtheleader of the guerrillas, Nguyen Ai Quoc, seriously ill from malaria anddysentery. “This man doesn’t have long for this world,” exclaimed the team

medic,buthesuccessfullynursedhimbacktohealth.Thegratefulleaderagreedto provide intelligence and rescue downed American pilots in return forammunitionandweapons.TheteamsuggestedthattheU.S.continuetosupportNguyenafterthewar,buttherecommendationwasconsidered toocontroversial,and itwas ignored.Thefollowingyear,theguerrillaleaderpleadedwithPresidentTrumantosupporthismovement to gain independence from the French, but the U.S. governmentdecidedtheydidn’tlikehispolitics.NguyenAiQuocwas alsoknownbyanothername: “HeWhoEnlightens.” InVietamese:HoChiMinh.Sixty thousandAmericansdied in theVietnamWar,battlingaformerallywhoselifetheU.S.oncefoughttosave.

HoChiMinh(thirdfromright)withmembersoftheOSS“Deer”teamthatsavedhislife.InthewhitesuitatleftisVoNguyenGiap,wholaterbecameHo’smilitarycommanderandmastermindedmilitaryeffortsagainstFrenchandU.S.forces.

1946

FLOORIT

Thewartimeshortagethatturnedleftoversintolegend.

In the days following World War II, good lumber was in short supply andusuallyhadahighpriceattachedtoit.SowhenAnthonyDiNatalegotanorderin1946foralargewoodenfloor,tobebuiltatthelowestpossiblecost,hehadtouse some imagination. He located some scraps of wood left over from theconstruction of army barracks. Although it was sturdy hard-wood fromTennessee,allthepieceswereshort.TheworkmenatDiNataleFlooring inBostonthenfitted thescraps together inan alternating pattern, and constructed a series of five-foot-square panels thatcouldbeboltedtogethertoformtheentirefloor.Indoingso, theyconstructedwhatmaybe thesinglemostfamousfloor in theworld—inthesportsworld,thatis.ItbecameknowntheworldoverasthefamousparquetfloorofBostonGarden.The floor on which the Boston Celtics won an unsurpassed sixteenchampionships.Afloorunlikethatofanyotherbasketballcourtonearth,trodbythelikesofBillRussell,BobCousy,LarryBird,andKevinMcHale.DiNatale charged the Celtics $11,000 for the now famous floor. After it wasreplacedbyanewparquetfloorin1999,autographedpiecesoftheoriginalsoldforasmuchas$300,000each.Afewpiecesoftheoldfloorwereintegratedintothenewonetokeepthememoryoftheoldflooralive.

FansandplayersalikehavespeculatedthattheCelticshadaspecialhomeadvantageontheparquetbecausetheyknewwhereit’s“deadspots”were.ButCelticgreatBobCousysaysflatly:“Theideaofdeadspotsispure,

unadulteratedcrap.”

The264piecesofthefloorwerefittedtogetherwith988bolts.TheBostonGarden“bullgang”couldassemblethefloorandlayitdownforagameintwoandahalfhours.

1961

BOMBSAWAY!

Anuclearnightmarethatwasalltooclosetocomingtrue.

Just after midnight, on January 24, 1961, the U.S. Air Force dropped twonuclearbombsonGoldsboro,NorthCarolina. Itwasanaccident,ofcourse.Afuel leak aboard a Strategic Air Command B-52 Stratofortress caused anexplosion that ripped thebombs from theplaneandsent themhurtling towardearth.Theplaneitselfcrashedshortlythereafter.One bomb parachuted to earth with little damage. The other slammed into afarmer’sfield.Neitherexploded.TheDefenseDepartmentannouncedatthetimethatthebombswerenotarmedandwereinnodangerofexploding.Butlaterevidencesuggestedthatthetruthwasfarmorechilling.Itwas subsequentlydiscovered that thebombshadpartiallyarmed themselveson the way down, the force of the fuel-leak explosion having triggered thearmingmechanisms—allbutone, that is.Detonation required thebombs togothroughasequenceofsixsteps,andthesebombswentthroughallbutthelast.Onlyasingleswitchpreventedthemfromdetonating.

TheStockholmInternationalPeaceResearchInstituteconcludedthismayhavebeentheclosesttheworldhasevercometoanaccidentalnuclearcatastrophe.

Airforceofficerstryingtofindthebombsinthewreckagefromthecrashtoldonereportertheywerelookingforanejectionseat.Portionsofonebombstillremainburiedinaboggyfarmfieldtoday.Theairforcehasaneasementonthelandtopreventanyonefromdiggingdeeperthanfivefeetintoit.

TheMK39bombsdroppedonGoldsborowereeachmorethan250timesaspowerfulasthebombthatdestroyedHiroshima.PresidentKennedy,whohadbeeninofficejustfourdayswhenthisaccidentoccurred,orderedmoreelaboratearmingmechanismstobeinstalledonnuclearweaponstopreventaccidentaldetonation.

An atomicbombaccidentally droppedoff the coast ofGeorgia in 1947 isstill there,believed tobeburied in ten to fifteen feetofmud.Theair forcesays there is no danger of it going off because it doesn’t contain theplutoniumcapsuleneededtodetonateit.

1964

G.I.JOE

ThestoryofanAmericanfightingman.

ThepresidentoftheHasbrotoycompanywantedtomakeasplashatthe1964New York Toy Fair. The question was: Which product to go with? It was achoicebetweenaminiaturegrocerystore...andadollforboys.HasbropresidentMerrillHassenfelddecidedtogowiththedoll.Ofcoursenoonewantedtocallitadoll.Whatred-bloodedAmericanboywouldplay with dolls? So the design team coined a new phrase for their product,callingitan“actionfigure,”andputitintoproduction.That’show it cameabout thatG.I. Joe reported fordutyonFebruary9,1964.Hisbodywas inspiredbya twelve-inch-tallwoodensculptor’smannequin thatcouldbendateveryjoint.HisfacehadascarontherightcheeksothathelookedtougherthanBarbie’sboyfriend,Ken.(Italsomadehimeasiertocopyright!)TheU.S.wasstillmourningPresidentKennedy’sdeath,theBeatlesweretakingthe country by storm, and Vietnam was not yet part of the nationalconsciousness.G.I.Joewastherighttoyattherighttime.SoonanarmyofJoesbegantoinvadeAmericanhomes.Joewasretiredin1978,avictimofdisillusionmentoverVietnamandtheOPECoilembargo,whichsentthepriceofplasticthroughtheroof.Athree-and-three-quarter-inchJoecameoutinthe1980s,buttheoriginalfoot-highsoldierdidn’treturn to active duty until his thirtieth anniversary, in 1994. He’s been goingstrong since. Sales skyrocketed after 9/11, and it looks like this is one soldierwithalongcareeraheadofhim.

HasbroannouncedthatthefaceofG.I.JoewasacompositeoftwentyMedalofHonorwinners,butthatwasjustamarketingploy.SculptorPhilKraczhowski,paid$600tosculptJoe’shead,wasinstructedtomakehimaruggedAmericanmale.KraczhowskihaddonenumerousbustsofJFK,andmanyonthedesignteamfeltthatheincorporatedalotofthepresident’sfeaturesinJoe’sface.

Theunwittingcatalyst for thecreationofG.I. JoewasTVproducerGeneRoddenberry.ThemanwhowouldgoontocreateStarTrekwasproducingaTV show called The Lieutenant. Marketing consultant Stan WestonapproachedHasbrowiththeideaofcreatingsomekindoftoytotieinwiththeshow.Thetie-inideaeventuallydied,asdidtheseries,butG.I.Joewasonhisway.Westonwasoffered$100,000 incashor1percentof sales.Hetookthecash,thuslosingoutonmorethan$20millionworthofroyalties.

1966

ACOUSTICKITTY

High-techcatsfighttheColdWar.

Inthe1960s,theColdWarpittedintelligenceagentsofEastagainstWest—CIAversus KGB—in a high-stakes game of espionage cat and mouse. Thensomebodydecidedthatanactualcatmightbeaneffectiveweapon.Recently declassified documents show that during the sixties, the CIA’sDirectorate of Science and Technology tried to turn cats into bugs—walkingeavesdropping devices for listening in on Soviet diplomats in public places.Project “Acoustic Kitty” reportedly involved five years of design and theexpenditureofmillionsofdollars.Miniaturizedtransmittingdevicesweresurgicallyimplantedinsideacat.“Theyslit thecatopen,” saysone formerCIAoperative, “putbatteries inhim,wiredhimup.Thetailwasusedasanantenna.”Problems were many. The CIA apparently discovered what cat owners havealwaysknown:catsarehardtotrain.Theytendedtowalkoffthejobwhentheygothungryordistracted,whichwasdistressinglyoften.Still,theCIApersisted.

Onedocument,partsofwhichare still classified,praises thepatienceof thosewhoworkedwith the feisty felines: “Thework done on this projects over theyearsreflectsgreatcreditonthepersonnelwhoguidedit.”Whenthewired-upcatwasdeemedreadyforafull-scaletest,itwastakentoapark and let out of a van. Then disaster struck—in the form of a taxi, whichpromptlyranoverthefelineoperative.“Theretheywere,”saidtheformeragent,“sittinginthevanwithallthosedials,andthecatwasdead.”AndsowasProjectAcousticKitty.

Theideaofachicken-powerednukesoundsfanciful,butBritishscientistsinthe1960sproposedusingchickensasaheatingdeviceinsideanuclearlandmine.ThebombwasdesignedtobeleftinthepathofattackingSoviettroops,andonetop-secretreportsuggestedthatenclosingalivechickeninside(withsomefood)wouldprovideenoughbodyheattokeepthedelicatetriggeringmechanismfromfreezinginwinterweather.

Anotheranimalalmostdrafted for service in theColdWarwas thegerbil.The furry creatures can smell fear—or, more accurately, the increasedadrenaline in a fearful person’s sweat. Spy-catchers in various countriesconsidered using them in the 1970s. But when airport-security experts inIsrael put them to work, they found that the fur-balls couldn’t tell thedifference between a wrongdoer scared of being caught and a passengerafraidofflying.

1969

THESOCCERWAR

We’veallheardoftoughmatches,butasoccergamethatstartedawar?

InJune1969,HondurasandElSalvadorfacedoffinasoccergame,thefirstinaseriesofqualifyingmatchesfortheWorldCup.Thetwocountrieswerebitterrivals, and the fans in Honduras made sure the visiting Salvadoran teamwouldn’tbeable to sleep thenightbefore thegamebysettingoff firecrackersandhonkinghornsoutsidetheirhotel.Notsurprisingly,Honduraswon1–0.FansinElSalvadorwerebesidethemselves.Eighteen-year-oldAmeliaBolanioswassodistraughtsheshotherselfafterHondurasscoredthewinninggoal.Herdeathwasmournedasanationaltragedy.“Theyounggirlcouldnotbeartoseeher fatherland brought to its knees,” wrote the Salvadoran newspaper ElNacional.Anarmyhonorguardledherfuneralprocession,andthepresidentofElSalvadorwalkedbehindthecasket.With emotions running high, the Honduran team came to El Salvador for asecondmatch a fewweeks later.Salvadoran troops and tanks ringed the field.AfterElSalvadorwon,3–0,viciousriotsbrokeoutamongthefans,andseveralpeoplewerekilled.Itwasn’tonly in thestadiumthat thingsgotoutofhand.Thegame’soutcomepushedacentury-oldborderdispute to theboilingpoint,andwarbrokeouton

July14.Although the fighting lastedonly ahundredhoursbefore a cease-firewasagreedupon, casualtieswere significant: five thousandpeoplewerekilledandmorethantenthousandwounded.Itbecameknownas“LaGuerradelFútbol”:TheSoccerWar. Itstartedon theplayingfieldandendeduponthebattlefield.

Onereasonmanypeoplehaveneverheardofthiswaristhatworldattentionwasfocusedaquarterofamillionmilesawaythatweek:ontheApollo11lunar-landingmission,whichputNeilArmstrongandBuzzAldrinonthemoonJuly20,1969.

1969

LIKEFATHER,LIKESON

Atourofdutywithanunusualtwist.

During World War II, Mike Novosel flew a B-29 and participated in thefirebombingofTokyo.Atageforty-two,withthreechildren,hefoundhimselfsoinspiredbyPresidentKennedythathevolunteeredtoflyhelicoptersforthearmyintheVietnamWar.Hethoughthewouldbeusedasaninstructor,butinsteadfoundhimselfshippedofftocombat,flyinginthecompanyofpilotshalfhisage.Eventuallyheservedtwotoursasa“Dustoff”medevacpilotinVietnam,airliftingwoundedsoldiersfrom the battlefield.He flewmore than two thousandmissions and evacuatedmore than five thousandwounded.One particularly dangerousmission earnedhimaMedalofHonor.His son,MikeNovosel, Jr., graduated fromArmyFlight School twenty-seven

yearstothedayafterhisfather.Theyearwas1969,andheaskedtobeassignedto his dad’s unit, the Eighty-secondMedical Detachment. “At the time I justwantedmydadtobeproudofme,”saysMikeJr.ButitwasthefirstandonlytimeinU.S.historythatafatherandsoneverflewtogetherinthesamecombatunit.Andeachwouldhavethechancetosavetheother’slife.WhenMikeJr.’shelicopterwasforceddownbyenemyfire,hisfatherflewtothesceneand rescuedhim.Less than sevendays later,Mike Jr. rescuedhis fatherundersimilarcircumstances.In 1971,MikeSr.was awarded theMedal ofHonor byPresidentNixon,whotoldfatherandsonthattheywouldn’tbegoingbacktoVietnam.“TheNovoselshavedoneenough,”hesaid.

MikeNovosel,Sr.,wasalieutenantcolonelintheAirForceReservewhenhedecidedtoreturntoactiveduty.Theairforcetoldhimtheydidn’tneedhim,sohewalkedawayfromhisofficerstatusandjoinedthearmytoflyasanoncommissioned“warrantofficer.”

Duringthethirteen-hourmissionthatwonMikeNovosel,Sr.,hisMedalof

Honor,hebravedheavyfiretorescueagroupofwoundedSouthVietnamesesoldiers.Novoselwascreditedwithsavingthelivesoftwenty-ninemen,himselfsustainingshrapnelwoundsinbothlegsintheaction.

1982

SCRAPMETALWAR

Thescrapoperationthattriggeredquiteascrap.

Britaineventuallyretooktheislands,atacostof256menkilled.

Britain calls them the Falklands.Argentina knows them as LasMalvinas. In1982thecenturies-olddisputebetweenthetwocountriesovertheremoteSouthAtlanticislandswasheatingup.Argentina’srulingjuntahopedtoregaincontrolof the British-occupied islands to help restore its fading popularity. But thepossibilityofwarstillseemeddistant.ThenawealthyBuenosAires scrapdealernamedConstantinoDavidoff sentagroupofworkmentosalvagescrapmetalfromanabandonedwhalingstationonone of the southernmost of the contested islands. He had a contract with theownerandpermissionfromtheBritishembassytobethere.ButwhenDavidoff’smen raisedanArgentine flagon the island, it caught theattention of scientists from the British Arctic Survey Team. They reported toBritishauthoritiesthattherehadbeenanArgentinelanding.The British, suspicious that something was up, sent a note of protest toArgentina, and dispatched the warship Endurance to watch over the scrapdealers.Argentina sent awarship of its own.TheBritish landedmarines.TheArgentinessentmoreships.PerhapsthiswasjustthepretextArgentinawaslookingfor.Perhapsitinflamedpassions beyond the point of no return. In any case, less than a week later,Argentinainvadedtheislands.Thesalvageoperationwasover.Thewarwason.

NearlysevenhundredArgentinetroopswerekilledinthewar.TheyaretheonlyArgentineswhohavebeenallowedtostayonthewindsweptislands,whicharestillthesubjectofbitterdisagreementbetweenthetwonations.

“IFIHADNEVERBEENBORN,ARGENTINAANDGREATBRITAINWOULDNOTBEFIGHTING.”

—CONSTANTINODAVIDOFF,SIXWEEKSINTOTHEWAR

Thejuntasawtheinvasionasawaytoappealtopatrioticprideanddistractpeople’s attention away from 600 percent inflation and other economicproblems.TheydidnotexpecttheBritishwouldbewillingorabletoconductamajormilitary effort eight thousandmiles fromLondon, over a groupofwindsweptislandsinhabitedbyonlytwothousandpeople.

Themostwell-knownwarriorintheBritishinvasionforcewasHRHPrinceAndrew,sonofQueenElizabethII,brotherofPrinceCharles,andknowntohisfellowhelicopterpilotssimplyas“H.”

1991

THEDOMINO’STHEORY

AnepicstoryofWarandPizza.

At five A.M. on Wednesday, January 16, 1991, the word flashed out fromWashington: war with Iraq was imminent, likely to begin within hours. Sureenough,laterthatday,thebombsbegantofall.ThePersianGulfWarwasunderway.The earlywarning camenot fromahigh-placedpresidential aideor a rankingmilitaryofficer,butfromamoreunlikelysource:Apizzaman.FrankMeeks owned sixtyDomino’s pizza franchises in theD.C. area.Meekswasfamousforkeepingacloseeyeonpizzaorders,andthenightbeforethewarbeganhenoticedasharpuptickinthenumberoflate-nightpizzaorderscomingfrom theWhiteHouse, the Pentagon, and the StateDepartment.WhiteHousepizzaorderswent through the roof,withmore than fiftypiesorderedbetweentenP.M.andtwoA.M.

MeekshadseenthesamethinghappenthenightbeforetheinvasionsofGrenadaandPanama.Hewassurethismeantwar,sohecalledthenewsmediaandputouttheword.Therestispizzahistory.Willthissliceofhistoryprovetheultimateundoingoftherepublic?Isfastfoodthe soft underbelly of American military might? Will foreign agents startinfiltratingWashingtonpizzajointstoseewhat’sbakingingovernmentoffices?Are counterintelligence agents ready to swing into action with a “PizzaInterdictionEffort”(PIE)toorderupalittleDomino’sdeception?Deliverus.

Pizza prognosticators please take note: according to the Domino’s Pizza

TeamWashingtonPizzaMeter,thetoppizzaorderedbytheWhiteHousein2003 was a veggie, while the number-one pizza at the Pentagon was apepperoni.

Accordingtooneexpert,themoralofthestoryisthis:Whenthegoinggetstough,thetoughgetpizza.

“IDON’TTHINKTHEY’RESITTINGAROUNDWATCHINGREDSKINSRERUNS.”

—FRANKMEEKS,ANALYZINGASURGEINLATE-NIGHTPIZZAORDERSFROMTHEPENTAGON

SOURCES

“Where do you find these stories” people often ask, and the answer is:“Everywhere.”Stories that I first sawonline,heard froma friend, found inanoldlibrarybook,areallhere.Thetrickisn’tfindingstories,it’sverifyingthem.Sometimesit’seasy.Othertimesitinvolveshoursofresearch.Ireliedprimarilyonscholarlybooks,magazinearticles,oldnewspapers,anda

small number of websites that demonstrated a scholarly approach and/or aparticular expertise with the material. There are several online sources that Iconsulted so constantly that I have chosen not to cite them every time. TheEncyclopaediaBritannica(www.britannica.com)isawonderfulsourceforbasichistorical information.Asometimesusefulvariationonthat is the1911editionoftheBritannica(www.1911encylopedia.com)withitslengthyin-deptharticlesonsubjectsoftenoverlookedtoday.Formorerecentstories,theNewYorkTimesarchive,availabletome(withmy

library card) through the Minuteman Library Network(http://www.mln.lib.ma.us/) allows word searching of stories going back to1857. The Time magazine archive (www.time.com) allows word searching ofarticlesbackto1923.Thesebothofferanopportunitytogobackmanydecadesandseehowaparticularpersonoreventwasviewedatthetime.Imakenoclaimstothisbeingascholarlywork.Butevenina“popular”work

ofhistory,readersdeservetoknowtheprincipalsourcesoftheinformation,andwheretogotofindoutmore.TheSacredBand:100DecisiveBattlesbyPaulK.Davis.SouloftheSword

byRobertL.O’Connell.Plutarch’sLives,translatedbyJohnDryden.Archimedes’SecretWeapon:Dio’sRomanHistory(volumeII:Fragmentsof

BooksXII–XXV), translatedbyE.Cary.UniversalHistory byPolybius. (Theseworks excerpted online at http://www.mcs.drexel.edu). Buffon by Otis E.Fellows and Stephen F. Milliken. “Archimedes’ Mirrors: Some NewReflections,”byMalcolmBrowne,NewYorkTimes,March11,1978.UpAgainsttheWall:RubiconbyTomHolland.100DecisiveBattlesbyPaul

K.Davis.

Warrior Princess:Gladiatrix by Amy Xoll. “The Celtic War Queen WhoChallenged Rome,” by Margaret Donsbach, Military History, online archive(http://www.thehistorynet.com/mh/blceltic_war_queen).DaringDancer:Condemned toRepeat It byWickAllisonetal.Procopius,

HistoryoftheWars(volumeI),translatedbyH.B.Dewing,excerptedonlineattheInternetMedievalSourcebook (http://www.fordham.edu/halsall/sbook.html).TheCrusadesbyAntonyBridges.AnIslamicEurope?:100DecisiveBattlesbyPaulK.Davis.Encyclopediaof

EventsThatChangedtheWorldbyRobertIngpenandPhilipWilkinson.Spoils of War: Tilt by Nicholas Shrady. Through My Eye: 91st Infantry

DivisionintheItalianCampaign,1942–45byLeonWeckstein.History’sHitmen:TheAssassins,ARadicalSectinIslambyBernardLewis.

TheCrusadesbyAntonyBridges.The Swallows of Volohai: The Mongols by David Morgan. The Mongol

Empire:GenghisKhan:His Triumph andHis Legacy byPeterLudwigBrent.Encyclopedia ofEvents ThatChanged theWorld byRobert Ingpen andPhilipWilkinson.DivineWind:StormfromtheEast:FromGenghisKhan toKublaiKhanby

RobertMarshall.TheDivineWind:Japan’sKamikazeForceinWorldWarIIbyCaptainRikiheiInoguchiandCommanderTadashiNakajima.ArmsRace: “Chinese Bombard” by John H. Lienhard, in Engines of Our

Ingenuity(http://www.uh.edu/engines/epi1744.htm).“TheOldestRepresentationofaBombard”byG-dLu,J.Needham,andC-hPhan,TechnologyandCulture,vol. 29, no. 3, 1988, pp. 594–605. Gunpowder: Alchemy. Bombards, andPyrotechnicsbyJackKelly.DangerousGames:Golf:APictorialHistorybyHenryCotton.TheSackville

IllustratedDictionaryofGolfbyAlanBoothandMichaelHobbs.“ThePerfectSubstituteforWar,”byPaulAuster,NewYorkTimesMagazine,April18,1999.GodIsintheDetails:100DecisiveBattlesbyPaulK.Davis.Encyclopediaof

EventsThatChangedtheWorldbyRobertIngpenandPhilipWilkinson.WeaponsWizard:TheInventionsofLeonardodaVincibyMargaretCooper.

Leonardo,theFirstScientistbyMichaelWhite.Siege of Bread and Butter: “A Loaf of Bread: Price and Value” by John

Pearn,M.D.,AsiaPacificJournalofClinicalNutrition(1998)7(1):8–14.Fighting Turtles: New History of Korea by Ki-bai Lee. The Reader’s

CompaniontoMilitaryHistory,editedbyRobertCowleyandGeoffreyParker.“AdmiralYiSun-Shin,”byAlanBurse,KoreaHerald,March191997.

AFalling-Out inPrague:FightingWords:FromWar,Rebellion,andOtherCombativeCapers byChristineAmmer. “TheEmpire StrikesOut,”New YorkTimes,April18,1999.Leonardo’sMountainofClamsandtheDietofWormsbyStephen JayGould.Visit by the author toHradcanyCastle in Prague,August2004.Drebbel’sDream: Submarines andDeep Sea Vehicles by Jeffrey Tall.The

Navy Times Book of Submarines: A Political, Social, andMilitaryHistory byBraytonHarris.“TheSagaoftheSubmarine,”byBrettMcLaughlin,AllHandsMagazine,September1967.Bees inBattle: “Bees inWarfare,” by John T. Ambrose,Gleanings in Bee

Culture,November1973.“BeesGotoWar,”byRogerMorse,GleaningsinBeeCulture,October1955.“WarandBees:MilitaryApplicationsofApiculture,”byConradBérubé(http://www.apiculture.com).The Siege That Gave Birth to the Croissant: A History of Food by

MaguelonneTouissant-Samat.Reader’sDigestFactsandFallacies.TheWarofJenkins’Ear:“EarmarkedforWar,”byJackRudolph,American

History Illustrated, February 1984. A Brief History of the Caribbean by JanRogozinski.A Dandy Tale: America’s Song: The Story of Yankee Doodle by Stuart

Murray. “Yankee Doodle,” Library of Congress website(http://lcweb2.loc.gov/ammem/today/apr19.html).OldMan’sFight:PaulRevere’sRidebyDavidHackettFischer.FightingWords:FightingWords:FromWar,Rebellion,andOtherCombative

CapersbyChristineAmmer.TheGeneral’s Gambit:The George Washington Papers at the Library of

Congress, 1741–1799 (http://lcweb2.loc.gov/ammem/gwhtml/gwhome.html).Gunpowder:Alchemy.Bombards,andPyrotechnicsbyJackKelly.Forgotten Fight:The Battle for New York by Barnett Schecter. “The True

StoryofNathan(‘TheTorch’)Hale:NoWonderTheyHangedHim,”byThomasFleming,NewYorkMagazineJuly14,1975.MiracleatSaratoga:Saratoga byRichardM.Ketchum. “BenedictArnold,

Hero: A Revolutionary Turning Point,” by R. W. Apple, New York TimesMagazine,April18,1999.Trick or Treason?: Unsolved Mysteries of History: An Eye-opening

InvestigationintotheMostBafflingEventsofAllTimebyPaulAron.TheLifeofDanielBoonebyLymanCopelandDraper.“DanielBoone,”byCaroleD.Bos,Lawbuzz.com

(http://www.lawbuzz.com/famous_trials/daniel_boone/daniel_boone.htm).Bulldog of the Black Sea: John Paul Jones: Sailor, Hero, Father of the

AmericanNavybyEvanThomas.RevolutionaryPencil:“GetItonPaper,”thehistorychannel®documentary

writtenandproducedbyKateRaisz;RickBeyer,executiveproducer.ThePencilbyHenryPetroski.America’sWorstGeneral:Duel byThomas Fleming.TheWar of 1812 by

Donald R. Hickey. Harper Encyclopedia of Military Biography. “GeneralWilkinson’s Forbidden Realms,” by Dianna Serra Cary,Wild West Magazine,February1999.Blind Man’s Bluff: Fighting Words: From War, Rebellion, and Other

CombativeCapersbyChristineAmmer.HoratioLordNelsonbyBrianLavery.The Fever Factor: Jefferson’s Great Gamble by Charles Cerami. “Insects,

Disease, and Military History: The Napoleonic Campaigns and HistoricalPerception,”byRobertK.D.Peterson,AmericanEntomologist.41:147–60.Shell Shock:Harper Encyclopedia of Military Biography. “Honour for the

ManWhoChangedtheFaceofWar,”byJuneSouthworth,LondonDailyMail,July 28, 1994. “General Henry Shrapnell,” Freshford.com(http://www.freshford.com/shrapnell).Rum Rebellion: Captain William Bligh by Philip Weate and Caroline

Graham.TheBounty:TheTrueStoryof theMutinyon theBounty byCarolineAlexander.Merriam-Webster’sWebster’sNewBiographicalDictionary,1995.TheWarofBadTiming:TheWarof1812byDonaldR.Hickey.AnArmyofTwo: “Along theSouthShore”byS.G.W.Benjamin,Harper’s

MonthlyMagazine,June1878,vol.57,no.337.TothePoint:TheStoryofCedarPoint Light by David Ball. Interview with David Ball, president, ScituateHistoricalSociety,December9,2004,alongwithvariousdocumentssuppliedbythesociety.Star-Spangled Banner: Various documents and clippings from National

MuseumofAmericanHistory.BadDayatWaterloo:ABriefHistoryofDisease,Science,andMedicineby

MichaelKennedy.AnUndergroundEducationbyRichardZacks.SpearheadingaRevolution:TheWashingoftheSpearsbyDonaldR.Morris.

“Shaka:Africa’sBlackNapoleon,” byTrumanR. StrobridgeMilitaryHistory,onlinearchive(http://www.thehistorynet.com/mh/blafricasnapoleon).BuddingStatesman:EncylopaediaBritannica.Merriam-Webster’sWebster’s

New Biographical Dictionary. “The Paul Ecke Ranch Story,” Ecke Ranch

website(http://ecke.com/new1/corp_story/corp_story.asp).Davy’sDeath:UnsolvedMysteriesofAmericanHistorybyPaulAron.How

DidDavyDie?byDanKilgore.TeaParty:TheHistoryoftheWorldinSixGlassesbyTomStandage.Spencer’s Legacy:A Hanging Offense: The Strange Affair of the Warship

SomersbyBucknerF.Melton,Jr.TheChiPsiStory,editedbyGeorgeRay.“ABriefHistoryoftheUnitedStatesNavalAcademy”(www.nadn.navy.mil).TerrorfromtheSkies:TakingFlightbyRichardP.Hallion.“Bombardment

byMeansofBalloons.”ScientificAmerican,March14,1849.AeronauticsintheUnion and Confederate Armies by Frederick Stansburgh Haydon. The PocketBookofAeronauticsbyHermanMoedebeck.TheArtofWar:RobertE.LeebyEmoryThomas.Whistler,aLifebyGordon

Fleming.DressedtoKill...orBeKilled:FightingWords:FromWar,Rebellion,and

OtherCombativeCapers byChristineAmmer. “Why theCharge of the LightBrigade Still Matters,” by Sean Coughlan, BBC News(http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/magazine/3944699.stm).Over the Hump?: The U.S. Camel Corps by Odie B. Faulk. “The Short

UnhappyLifeoftheU.S.CamelCavalry,”byStanleyKramer,AmericanHistoryIllustrated, March 1987. Documents from the consolidated camel file (onmicrofilm)attheNationalArchives.BitetheBullet:Gunpowder:Alchemy,Bombards,andPyrotechnicsbyJack

Kelly.Encyclopedia ofEvents ThatChanged theWorld byRobert Ingpen andPhilip Wilkinson. “Sepoy Mutiny Echoes Muslim-Western Clash,” by AndreaVarin,ABCNews(http://www.abcnews.com).RedCross:AMemoryofSolferinobyJ.HenryDunant.“FromtheBattleof

SolferinotothefirstGenevaConventionandBeyond”(www.icrc.org).ThePigWar:ThePigWar byMichaelVouri. “The San Juan Island’s ‘Pig

War,’” by Michael D. Hay-dock, American History, August 1997. “The PigWar,” San Juan Island National Historical Park(www.nps.gov/sajh/Pig_War_new.htm).NativeGuards:TheLouisianaNativeGuardsbyJamesG.Hollandsworth,Jr.

TheCivilWar:FredericksburgtoMeridianbyShelbyFoote.Twenty-fourNotes:ArmyLetters1861–1865byO.W.Norton.TheArmyof

thePotomac:Mr. Lincoln’sArmy byBruceCatton. “24Notes That TapDeepEmotions,”byJariA.Villaneueva(www.west-point.org/taps/Taps.html).ThreeCigars:TheCivilWar:FortSumtertoPerryvillebyShelbyFoote.The

ArmyofthePotomac:Mr.Lincoln’sArmybyBruceCatton.Unleaded Zeppelin: The Eagle Aloft, Two Centuries of the Balloon in

America byTomCrouch.Above theCivilWar: The Story of Thaddeus Lowe,Balloonist,Inventor,RailwayBuilderbyEugeneB.Block.Burial Ground: Second Only to Grant by David W. Miler.Monument of

SilencebyOwenAndrew.ABitterHarvest:ComeRetributionbyWilliamTidwell.“PurloinedPoisoned

Letters,”USNewsandWorldReports, July24,2000.UlricDahlgren’smiliaryservice file at the National Archives inWashington D.C. (Here, among otherthings,canbefoundJudsonKilpatrick’shandwrittenletterclaimingthathehadnoknowledgeof the allegedorders to burnRichmond and assassinateDavis.)TheDay the Irish InvadedCanada: “Fenian Invasions of Canada,” by P.G.Smith, Military History(http://www.thehistorynet.com/mh/blfenianinvasionsofcanada). The CanadianEncylopedia (www.thecanadianencyclopedia.com). “The Fenian Fiasco” byA.WelseyJohns,fromacollectionofessaysentitledNiagaraLand:TheFirst200Years(http://ah.bfn.org/h/essays.html).ChewonThis:ChewingGumbyMichaelRedclift.EncyclopediaofNewYork

City by Kenneth T. Jackson. “History of Gum,” Cadbury Adams (www.gum-mints.com/history).ParisPost:TravelsintheAirbyJamesGlaischer.TheWarAnimalsbyRobert

Lubow.ThePigeonPostintoParis,1870–1871byJ.D.Hayhurst.WindsofWar:“TyphoonsandHurricanes:TheStormatApia,Samoa,15–16

March 1889,” Naval Historical Research Center(www.history.navy.mil/faqs/faq102-3.htm). Various articles from theNew YorkTimes,October1888–April1889.Fighting Joe: General James Longstreet: The Confederacy’s Most

ControversialSoldierbyJeffreyD.Wert.TheSpanish-AmericanWar,1898byAlbertA.Nofi.VariousarticlesfromtheNewYorkTimes,May1898.ATaleofTwoGenerals:AmericanCaesarbyWilliamManchester.GloryDeferred:TheCompleteBookoftheOlympicsbyDavidWallechinsky.

PattonbyMartinBlumenson.The Last Charge: “Return to Gettysburg,” by James Wensyel, American

History Illustrated, July–August 1993. Fiftieth Anniversary of the Battle ofGettysburg:ReportofthePennsylvaniaCommission.FlyingCircus:TheIncurableFillibuster,byDeanIvanLamb.Variousnews

clippings collected by the Air Force Enlisted Heritage Research Institute

(http://cepme.maxwell.af.mil/heritage/info/pdf/lamb.pdf). Records of U.S.AttorneysandMarshals:TranscriptsofGrandJuryTestimonyintheAlgerHissCase,HarryTrumanPresidentialLibrary.Lights! Camera!War!: The War, The West, and the Wildnerness by Ken

Brownlow.TheLifeandTimesofPanchoVillabyFriedrichKatz.“Villaat theFront:‘Movies’SignHimUp,”NewYorkTimes,January7,1914.“AdmitsHe’sa‘Movie’Star,”NewYorkTimes,January8,1914.The Battle of the Luxury Liners: The Ship That Hunted Itself by Colin

Simpon.InformationprovidedbyCunardLines.ChristmasTruce:TheWarintheTrenchesbyAlanLoyd.WeirdHistory101

byRichardStephens.SilentNightbyStanleyWeintraub.TheBlackSwallowofDeath:TheBlackSwallowofDeathbyP.J.Carisella.

“EugeneBullard,Ex-Pilot,Dead.AmericanFlewforFrenchin’18,”NewYorkTimes,October14,1961.OneAgainstWar:JeanetteRankin,America’sConsciencebyNormaSmith.

“Ex-Rep JeannetteRankinDies,”NewYorkTimes,May 20, 1973. “The LoneDissentingVoice,”byGlenJeansonne,AmericanHistory,April1999.The Female Lawrence of Arabia:Desert Queen by Janet Wallach. “The

UncrownedQueenofIraq,”asegmentinthehistorychannel®seriesTheWorldBeforeUs,writtenandproducedbyRickBeyer.Enigma: Codebreakers’ Victory by Hervie Haufler. The Codebreakers by

SimonSingh.TheGoodManofNanking:TheRapeofNankingbyIrisChan.“TheRape

ofNanking,”writtenandproducedby JimDeVinney for thehistorychannel®programThisWeek inHistory, featuring interviewswithIrisChangandUrsalaRenhardt.TheRescuer:TheOdysseyofC.H.LightollerbyPatrickStetson.ANightto

RememberbyWalterLord.“DunkirkRemembered,”acollectionofBBCnewsstories commemorating the sixtieth anniversary(http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/in_depth/uk/2000/dunkirk/default.stm).TheManWhoSavedBuckinghamPalace:“Unearthed:StoryoftheWW2

PilotWhoSavedthePalace,”byAnthonyBarnes,LondonIndependent,May9,2004. “Archeologists Dig upWorldWar II Plane,” Associated Press, June 1,2004. “NazisCrash intoLondonStreets.CrowdsDance andCheerRAFOn,”NewYorkTimes,September15,1944.TheLadyIsaSpy:AmericanSpiesandTraitorsbyVincentBuranelli.Naked

attheFeastbyLynnHaney.JosephinebyJosephineBakerandJoBoussion.

Heroes O’Hare: Capone: The Man and the Era by Lawrence Bergreen.Fateful Rendezvous: The Life of Butch O’Hare by Steve Ewing and John B.Lundstrom.Gadzooks! “BobBurnsDead.RadioComedian,”NewYorkTimes,February

3,1956.StarsandStripes,March1,1918.An Offer He Couldn’t Refuse: The Luciano Project: Secret Wartime

Collaborationof theMafiaandtheNavybyRodneyCampbrell. Ike’sSpiesbyStephenAmbrose.StrangebutTrueStoriesofWorldWarIIbyGeorgeSulllivan.TheYoungestHero:DirtyLittleSecretsofWorldWarIIbyJamesDunnigan

andAlbertNofi.WeWereThere,Too!:YoungPeopleinU.S.HistorybyPhillipHoos. “Man,aVetat13,SeeksDischarge,”byDanFrazier,FortWorthNewsandStarTelegram,April10,1977.TheWrightStuff:TheyAllLaughedbyIraFlatow.“SillyPutty,”writtenand

produced by Barbara Moran for the history channel® program This Week inHistory.Pigeon in a Pelican: Animal Warfare by Robert Lubow. “Pigeon Pilots,”

ProgressThruResearch,vol.15,no.1(1961).One-SidedBattle:“TheBattleforKiska,”byRhondaRoy,EspiritdeCorps,

vol.9,issues4and5.AleutianIslands:TheUSArmyCampaignsofWorldWarIIbyGeorgeL.MacGarrigle(thisbrochurefromtheU.S.ArmyCenterofMilitaryHistory can be found online athttp://www.army.mil/cmhpg/brochures/aleut/aleut.htm). “Janfu,” Time, August30,1943.ACountryofHeroes:AConspiracyofDecency:TheRescueof theDanish

Jews DuringWorldWar II by Emmy E.Werner. “Rescue in Denmark,” U.S.HolocaustMemorialMuseum(http://www.ushmm.org/outreach/denmark.htm).The Greatest Hoax in History: Hoodwinking Hitler: The Normandy

DeceptionbyWilliamB.Breuer.WorldWarII:TheAmericanStory,editedbySarahBrash.Is Paris Burning? Is Paris Burning? By Larry Collins and Dominique

LaPierre. “Gen. Dietrich von Choltitz Dies. ‘Savior of Paris’ in ’44 was 71,”NewYorkTimes,November6,1966.Patton’sPrayer:WarasIKnewItbyGeorgeS.Patton,annotatedbyColonel

Paul D. Harkins. “The True Story of the Patton Prayer,” by Msgr. James H.O’Neill,ReviewoftheNews,October6,1971.Fu-Go: Japan’sWorldWar II Balloon Bomb Attacks on North America by

RobertC.Mikesh. “BalloonBombsHitWestCoast inWar,”NewYorkTimes,

May29,1947.FlagDay:Moments. The Pulitzer Prize Photographs by Sheryle and John

Leekley.FlagsofOurFathersbyJamesBradleywithRonPowers.Shades of Gray: “Pete Gray” by William C. Kashatus, American History,

June1995.About-Face:Presidents’SecretWarsbyJohnPrados.OSS:TheSecretHistory

ofAmerica’sFirstCentralIntelligenceAgencybyRichardHarrisSmith.FloorIt:EverGreen—TheBostonCeltics:AHistory in theWords of Their

Players, Coaches, Fans, and Foes, from 1946 to the Present by DanShaughnessy.“AnthonyDinatale,88.OwnedFirmThatBuiltGarden’sParquetFloor,”BostonGlobe,May7,1994.InformationprovidedbytheBostonCelticsandtheFleetCenter.Bombs Away!: “Broken Arrow: Goldsboro NC” is an excellent, well-

documentedwebsite(www.ibiblio.org/bomb).“TheStoryBehindthePentagon’sBrokenArrows:AnArrowIsaNuclearWeapon.ABrokenArrowisaNuclearDisaster,”byGaryHanauer,MotherJones,April1981.G.I.Joe:G.I.Joe:TheCompleteStoryofAmerica’sFavoriteManofAction

byJohnMichligandDonLevine.“G.I.Joe”producedandwrittenbyT.J.Winikforthehistorychannel®programThisWeekinHistory.AcousticKitty:“CIARecruitedCattoBugRussians,”byCharlotteEdwards,

London Telegraph (http://portal.telegraph.co.uk). “MI5 Planned to Use GerbilSpyCatchers,”byRichardNorton-Taylor,Guardian,June30,2001.Informationon the chicken-powered nuke from the British National Archives. (Theinformationabout thiscame froma recentlydeclassified secretdocument.Thesuggestionhasbeenmadethatthescientistswhooriginallywrotethatdocumentwerejusttryingtoseeifanyonewaspayingattention.)SoccerWar:TheSoccerWarbyRyszardKapuscinksi.“‘TheSoccerWar’IsStillNotOver,”byRichardSeveros,NewYorkTimes,July2,1972.Like Father, Like Son:BraveMen Gentle Heroes: American Fathers and

SonsinWorldWarIIandVietnambyMichaelTakiff.Dustoff:TheMemoirofanArmyAviatorbyMikeNovosel,Sr.ScrapMetalWar:FightfortheFalklandsbyJohnLaffin.The Domino’s Theory: “And Bomb the Anchovies,” by Paul Gray, Time,

August 13, 1990. “TheBattle So Far, SoGood,” byGeorge J. Church,Time,January 28, 1991. “Crusty DC Veteran SaysWar Is Near,”Chicago Tribune,January16,1991.“Pizza:TheYearinReview,”FallsChurchNews,January1,2004.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Themistakesinthisbookareallmine,butoneverythingelseIhadalotofhelp.TheGreatestWar StoriesNever Told came into being as an offshoot of the

Timelab 2000® history minutes that aired on THE HISTORY CHANNEL®. I ameternallygrateful toArtieScheff for askingme toproduce theTimelab series,anddelightedtohaveanotheropportunity toacknowledgetheteamof talentedpeoplewhosecontributionsmadeitasuccess,especiallyAlisonWhite,MelanieMcLaughlin, Jim Gilmore, Jim Ohm, Patricia Baraza Vos, Jen Pearce, MikeMavretic, Richard Klug, Megan Reilly, Tom Yaroushek, Rob Stegman, JoelOlicker,TugYourgrau,DebCutler,MariaLoconte,PatriceGoldman,andSamWaterston.Theireffortslaidthegroundworkforthesebooks.Anumberofotherterrificwritersandproducerswhohaveworkedwithmeon

variousdocumentaryprojectscontributed ideasandmaterial thatwounduponthesepages.MythankstoBarbMoran,T.J.Winik,KateRaisz,JimDeVinney,JacquieJones,JulieRosenberg,RachelRoessler,andLenaSheehan.JacquelineSheridan,mycollaboratoronthreedocumentaries(withafourthintheworks),contributed to both this book and its predecessor in ways too numerous tomention. (Let me note that I mistakenly left T.J. and Jacqueline out of theacknowledgmentsforthefirstbook—guys,I’mtryingtomakeituphere!)Specialthankstothemanyotherpeoplewhotooktimetosuggeststoryideas,

includingVanceGilbert,DianeTiraz,theTrotterfamily,andofcoursemydad,whoremains,atageeighty-five,afontofhistorynuggets.Muchoftheresearchforthisbooktookplaceattwogreatlibraries:theCary

MemorialLibrary inLexington,Massachusetts, and theAthenaeum inBoston.ThelibrariansattheCaryofferedtremendousassistanceintrackingdownallthefar-flungbooksandarticlesI requested.TheAthenaeumoffersanunparalleledcollectionofnineteenth-centurybooks(amongotherholdings)andisoneofthefewplacesIamawareofwhereyoucancheckoutandbringhomebooksmorethan150yearsold. Ioweadebtofgratitude toboth institutions. IwouldalsoliketothankthelibrariansattheNationalArchives,theLibraryofCongress,theNaval Historical Research Center, and everywhere else, who assisted in my

researchefforts.Ittakesanarmyofpeopletoturnamanuscriptintoabook,soletmethanka

fewof themhere:GeneMackles,whodeveloped the initialvisual concept forthe series (and created the illustration of the Acoustic Kitty); Leah Carlson-Stanisic and Judy Stagnitto Abbate, who created the interior design; RenatoStanisic,wholaidoutthepages;copyeditorEdCohen(Asnomanisaherotohis valet, nowriter is a hero to his copywriter—thanks, Ed!);MuccaDesign,whodidanothergreatcover;andseniorproductioneditorMareikePaessler.Iamenthusiastically representedbyArielleEckstutat theLevine-Greenberg

Literary Agency. No one could ask for a better agent than Arielle, who sailsthrough even the heaviest weather with plenty of good cheer and makeseverythingseemeasy.AtHarperCollins,ExecutiveEditorMauroDiPretaandAssociateEditorJoelle

Yudin are a great team and take very good care of me. Their patience andguidancearenever ending.This is the secondbook theyhaveablyguidedmethrough,andIhopetherewillbemanymore.My teenage children, Bobbie andAndy, force-fed history for years by their

father,havebothdevelopedakeeneyeforcritiquingstories.Ihavecometogivegreat weight to their comments. Bobbie also worked on some of the photoresearch, using her fluent French to track down photos her father could not.Merci!Mywife,Marilyn,ismycomrade-in-arms,myrock,andmyanchor.Shewas

thefirsttoreadthemanuscriptinprogress,andhercommentswere,asalways,invaluable. This book is dedicated to her because it never could have beenwritten without her love and support. May I someday be able to find wordseloquentenoughtotrulythankherforallshedoesandallshemeanstome.

PHOTOCREDITS

Thepaginationofthiselectroniceditiondoesnotmatchtheeditionfromwhichitwascreated.Tolocateaspecificentry,pleaseuseyoure-bookreader’ssearchtools.

Unlessotherwisenoted,photocreditsforeachpagearelistedtoptobottom,andimagesarelistedonlythefirsttimetheyappear.Creditsforpagesnotlistedcanbe found in the credits for the facing page. Every effort has been made tocorrectlyattributeall thematerialsreproducedinthisbook.Ifanyerrorshavebeenmade,wewillbehappytocorrecttheminfutureeditions.

AbbreviationsLOC:LibraryofCongressNARA:NationalArchivesandRecordAdministrationPagex:©Bettmann.Page1:MaryEvansPictureLibrary;LOC(Philip).Page2:©Bettmann;ArchimedesWebsitebyChrisRorreshttp://www.math.nyu.edu/˜crorres/Archimedes/contents.html.Page3:©Bettmann;ArchimedesWebsitebyChrisRorres.Page4:LOC.Page5:Author’s collection (top and bottom);PhotoArchÈodromedeBourgogne(CÙted’Or—France).Page6:MaryEvansPictureLibrary.Page7:LOC(toptwo);MaryEvansPictureLibrary.Page8:©Michael Nicholson. Page 9: © Bettmann; LOC. Page 11: © Bettmann; ©Archivo Iconografico, S.A..Page12: LOC.Page 13: LOC (top and bottom);LeonWeckstein.Pages 14–15: University ofNewcastle/GertrudeBell Project(castle);MaryEvansPictureLibrary (engravings).Pages16–17:©Bettmann.Page 18: © Bettmann; LOC. Page 19: © Bettmann; U.S. Naval HistoricalCenter (bottom).Page20:MaryEvansPictureLibrary;LOC.Page23:MaryEvansPictureLibrary;©Bettmann.Pages24–25:LOC.Page26:©Bettmann;LOC.Page27:©Bettmann.Pages28–29:©PaulAlmasy;Author’scollection(bread); LOC (engravings). Pages 30–31: Korean Tourism and Republic ofKorea Naval Academy Museum. Pages 32–33: Mary Evans Picture Library(engravings);Author’s collection (photographs).Page34:MaryEvansPictureLibrary.Page35:SubmarineForceMuseum.Page36:©Bettmann;LOC.Page

37: © Jim Zuckerman. Pages 38–39: LOC (engravings); PictureQuest/Burke/Triolo (croissant). Page 40: National Maritime Museum; MaryEvansPictureLibrary.Page41:LOC(middle).Pages42–43:LOC(allexcept“Macaroni”); Catchpenny Prints.Page 44: LOC.Page 45: Catchpenny Prints(middle);NARA(bottom).Page46:LOC;Author’scollection.Page47:MaryEvansPictureLibrary(rifle);Author’scollection(pistol).Page48:LOC.Page49:NARA(topandmiddle);LOC.Pages50–51:LOC(allexceptlowerright);Author’scollection.Pages52–53:LOC.Pages54–55:LOC.Page56:NARA;LOC. Page 57: LOC. Pages 58–59: LOC (engravings); Author’s collection(pencils).Page60:NARA.Page61:LOC(bottom).Pages62–63:LOC(exceptforlowerleft);ScituateHistoricalSociety.Pages64–65:LOC(exceptforlowerleft);©Bettmann.Page66:LOC.Page67:LOC.Page68:NewSouthWalesLibrary; LOC. Page 69: © Bettmann; New South Wales Library. Page 70:NARA;LOC.Page71:NARA(topandmiddle);LOC.Pages72–73:ScituateHistorical Society (except lower left); Author’s collection. Page 74: ©Bettmann. Page 75: LOC (bottom two). Pages 76–77: LOC. Page 79: ©Bettmann.Page80:PaulEckeRanchCompany;LOC.Page81:LOC(middle).Pages 82–83: LOC (all except lower right); © Bettmann. Page 84: LOC;Author’s collection. Page 85: LOC. Page 86: LOC. Page 87: U.S. NavalHistorical Center (top and bottom); LOC. Page 89: LOC (top and bottom);Author’s collection.Pages90–91: LOC (drawing of cadet byWhistler).Page92: LOC;©Bettmann.Page 93: LOC.Page 94:©MichaelMaslanHistoricPhotographs; NARA. Page 95: LOC (bottom). Pages 96–97: Mary EvansPicture Library. Page 98: ICRC; LOC. Page 99: ICRC (all except portrait);LOC. Page 100: San Juan Island National Historical Park. Page 101: LOC.Page 103: NARA (top and bottom); LOC. Pages 104–105: LOC (all exceptlower right); Author’s collection. Page 106: LOC. Page 107: LOC; NARA;OSU Archives. Pages 108–109: LOC (all except balloon Intrepid); NARA.Pages 110–111: Author’s collection (except for portrait); LOC. Page 112:NARA; LOC.Page 113: NARA (top and bottom); LOC.Page 114: Author’scollection. Page 115: Author’s collection; LOC (bottom). Page 116: ©Bettmann;LOC.Page 117: Author’s collection (top and bottom); LOC.Page118: LOC. Page 119: Author’s collection (top and middle); LOC (bottom).Pages120–121:U.S.NavalHistoricalCenter.Page122:LOC.Page123:LOC;©Bettmann.Pages124–125:NARA(allexceptyoungerDouglasMacArthur);LOC.Page126: PattonMuseumofCavalry&Armor;LOC.Page127: LOC(all except tank);NARA.Page128:Author’s collection.Page129:LOC (top

and bottom); Pennsylvania Historical and Museum Commission. Pages 130–131:NationalAirandSpaceMuseum;©Bettmann.Page132:LOC.Page133:LOC;U.S.SenateCollection,CenterforLegislativeArchives,LOC.Page134:Jeff Newman (www.greatships.net). Page 135: Author’s collection (top andbottom).Page136:MaryEvansPictureLibrary; ImperialWarMuseum.Page137: Mary Evans Picture Library (middle and bottom). Page 138: NARA;USAF. Page 139: NARA (top and bottom); LOC. Page 140: © Bettmann;Author’s collection. Page 141: The New York Times Company; LOC. Page142: © Hulton-Deutsch Collection. Page 143: Printed by permission of theLiddellHartCentreforMilitaryArchivesatKing’sCollege,London;UniversityofNewcastle/GertrudeBellProject.Page145:ImperialWarMuseum(middle);CityofBydgoscz,Poland(bottom).Page146:©Bettmann;SpecialCollections,Yale Divinity School Library. Page 147: Special Collections, Yale DivinitySchool Library (top and bottom). Page 148: © Hulton-Deutsch Collection;TitanicHistoricalSociety.Page149: LOC (top andmiddle).Page152: LOC.Page 153: LOC; © Hulton-Deutsch Collection. Pages 154–155: U.S. NavalHistoricalCenter (except lower right);©Bettmann.Pages156–157:LOC (allexcept lower left);TheNewYorkTimesCompany.Pages158–159:LOC (allexceptNormandie);©Bettmann.Pages160–161:U.S.NavalHistoricalCenter(except lowerright);FortWorthStar-TelegramCollection,SpecialCollections,The University of Texas at Arlington Libraries. Page 162: U.S. Patent andTrademarkOffice.Page163:U.S.PatentandTrademarkOffice;NASA.Pages164–165:NationalInstituteofStandardsandTechnology(missile);TheGeneralMills Archives (pigeon photos); © Bettmann. Page 166: © Bettmann; LOC.Page 167: © Bettmann; LOC. Page 168: LOC. Page 169: United StatesHolocaustMemorialMuseum (middle and bottom).Page 170: Roger-Viollet.Page171:NARA(Patton); JanuszPiekalkiewicz (bottom).Page172: NARA;LOC.Page 173: © Bettmann. Page 175: NARA; “Ya usin’ two blankets orthree?”, Papers of Bill Mauldin, LOC (top and bottom); NARA (Patton);CharleneOrmsby.Pages176–177:NARA.Page178:NARA.Page179:LOC(top and bottom); NARA.Page 181: © Bettmann; National Baseball Hall ofFameLibrary,Cooperstown,N.Y.Page182:R.HarrissSmith;LOC.Page183:NARA (top and bottom). Pages 184–185: © Bettmann; Steve Lipofsky(www.basketballphoto.com).Page186:USAF.Page187:©Bettmann;NationalMuseumoftheUnitedStatesAirForce(bottom).Pages188–189:G.I.Joe®&©2005 Hasbro, Inc. Used with permission. Pages 190–191: Atomic WeaponsEstablishment, Crown Copyright acknowledged (photo); Kitty illustration by

GeneMackles.Pages 192–193: Author’s collection.Page 194: © Tim Page;MikeNovoselSr.Page195:NARA(topandbottom);©TimPage.Page196:©Bettmann.Page197:©Hulton-DeutschCollection;©PaulA.Souders.Pages198–199: Department of Defense (all except lower left); Author’s collection(untilitwaseaten).

ABOUTTHEAUTHOR

RICKBEYERisanaward-winningdocumentaryproducerwhoseworkforTHEHISTORY CHANNEL includesTheWright Challenge,Secrets of Jamestown, andThe Patent Files. He lives with his wife and two children in Lexington,Massachusetts.

Visit www.AuthorTracker.com for exclusive information on your favoriteHarperCollinsauthors.

ALSOBYRICKBEYER

TheGreatestStoriesNeverTold

COPYRIGHT

THE HISTORY CHANNEL, THE HISTORY CHANNEL LOGO, and TIMELAB 2000 areregistered trademarks of A&E Television Networks. Copyright © 2005 A&ETelevisionNetworks.AllRightsReserved.

THEGREATESTWAR STORIESNEVER TOLD.Copyright©2005byA&ETelevisionNetworks.AllrightsreservedunderInternationalandPan-AmericanCopyrightConventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted thenonexclusive,nontransferablerighttoaccessandreadthetextofthise-bookon-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded,decompiled,reverse-engineered,orstoredinorintroducedintoanyinformationstorageandretrievalsystem,inanyformorbyanymeans,whetherelectronicormechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express writtenpermissionofHarperCollinse-books.

BookdesignbasedondesignbyJudithStagnittoAbbate/AbbateDesignBooklayoutbyRenatoStanisic

LibraryofCongressCataloging-in-PublicationData

Beyer,Rick,1956–The greatest war stories never told: 100 tales from military history toastonish,bewilder,andstupefy/byRickBeyer—1sted.p.cmIncludesbibliographicalreferences.ISBN-10:0-06-076017-6ISBN-13:978-0-06-076017-5EpubEdition©JULY2013ISBN97800623103781.Militaryhistory—Anecdotes.I.Title.D25.5.B452005

355’.009—dc222005045517

06070809 /QW109876543

ABOUTTHEPUBLISHER

AustraliaHarperCollinsPublishers(Australia)Pty.Ltd.Level13,201ElizabethStreetSydney,NSW2000,Australia

http://www.harpercollins.com.au

CanadaHarperCollinsCanada

2BloorStreetEast-20thFloorToronto,ON,M4W,1A8,Canadahttp://www.harpercollins.ca

NewZealandHarperCollinsPublishers(NewZealand)LimitedP.O.Box1Auckland,NewZealand

http://www.harpercollins.co.nz

UnitedKingdomHarperCollinsPublishersLtd.77-85FulhamPalaceRoadLondon,W68JB,UK

http://www.harpercollins.co.uk

UnitedStatesHarperCollinsPublishersInc.

10East53rdStreet

NewYork,NY10022http://www.harpercollins.com