The Grill Quotient

An examination of mouth bling as it relates to good BBQ

Grill

No grill

Good BBQ?

As grill size decreases, BBQ generally improves

Probably smokes a mean fatty brisket

Not so much

Flavor? I ain’t think so.

The Uncle Billy’s Exception

The Uncle Billy’s Hypothesis

• Where vibe data is low, BBQ remains unaffected by grill size

• In other words, absence of a grill does not necessarily suggest bad BBQ

• Data suggests both absence of grill and lame-ass vibe coincides with bad BBQ

Vibe vs. BBQ among lesser-grilled participants

Conclusion

• Where bling coverage is concerned: the less the teef, the better the beef

• Ya grill gleamin (say what), eyes stay low from da cheifin’ (“Grillz,” Nelly 2005)

• Relationship validated by presence of vibe

Bibliography:

• http://www.14kgoldteeth.com/• www.sojones.com• Sweatsuit, Nelly, 2005; Derrty Ent., Universal

Special Thanks To:• Sam (long live you, O Magnificently Jeweled King

of the East Side)• Aaron and Stacy Franklin • Danny (seriously, please don’t tell Sam we said

your BBQ was better)• Sterling at Ray’s (sorry we were so cheap; we’ll

be back when we think standing in Franklin’s 2-hour line is dumb)

• Austin’s Fearless Critic panel, for perseverance and strength in the name of science

The End