the innocent and the orphan

8/14/2019 The Innocent and the Orphan

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The Innocent And The Orphan

THE INNOCENT AND THE ORPHAN

(Sahar Ghayar)

BOOK 1

Earth

PREFACE:

The alliance between an adult and a child was not something I had anticipated. Normally, adults wouldnt put theirentire faith in a child as young as this one was.

But I was confident that he would handle more than any other grown-up would, and from what it looked like, there was

too much to bear.

Although I hadnt known him for a very long time, I had no second thoughts concerning the new little friend I had. Hewas already my only family.

Knowing that helping him was the only way to have my answers, I couldnt back down; he was my last hope, just like Iwas his.

There was no question now that I trusted the little boy more than anyone of my other friends - not that I remembered

any of them.

I swore to myself, I would find him his answers, even if I didnt find mine in the process.

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1. INTERROGATIONS

Who was I?

Where was I?

Why was I here?

What had happened to me?

All of those questions could find no anwer in my memory.

A woman standing a few feet away from me just waved at me.Hi Aurea, she greeted me.

My name was Aurea, I remembered that. But why couldnt I remember anything else? I had understood what the

woman had just said to me, so I must know how to talk. And she was now walking towards me, so this must be real.

Who are you? I asked the stranger woman.

Why Im Jamie. Your roomate, she answered, slightly confused. Are you all right? You look a bit lost.I am lost. I cant remember anything.

What?I I dont remember meeting you for example, but you seem to know me.

Jamie eyed me suspiciously.Are you joking again? she asked.

No Do I joke a lot? I dont remember that.

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Jamies expression turned to concern immediately.

Oh my That ball mustve hit you hard in the head. You probably had one of those amnesias I heard about on TVyesterday, she mused.

Amnesia? And what ball? I wondered.

Poor Phnix was just playing, he didnt mean to hit you with it, Jamie defended the kid.

Whos Phnix?It was really frustrating for me; there I was trying to remember who I was, and Jamie had to bring me more mysteries I

couldnt understand.Oh dear, Jamies expression was worried again. Come on in. I know a great remedy for amnesias. My grandma usedto make it during the Second World War. Thats how she met my grandad, you know, she bragged.

Theres been a war?!Oh dont worry! It was a long time ago. Now lets get inside and get you fixed up, shall we?

Jamie held my arm and led me inside a building, onto the fifth floor. Then we entered an appartment, numbered 205.The kitchen was the first room behind the front door. The walls, the cupboards, the closets everything was painted alight blue sky. There was enough space in there to fit only five people; six would be squeezed.

There was a small table in the center of the room with two chairs, all of the same color. Jamie told me to sit on one of

the chairs while she opened the fridge right behind the seat where I was, and took out a number of ingredients.

I could tell that there was cinnemon, lemon juice, salt and butter between the food that Jamie had taken, just bysmelling them.

How come I could remember food and my name but nothing else? Maybe Jamie was the answer to my millionquestions.

Here, drink this, honey, Jamie ordered me.

The cup she had handed me contained a greyish looking liquid which smelled like barbecue mixed with salt and lemon.I took it willingly enough, even though the smell repulsed me just a bit.

Thisll get your engine back on in a week, tops, Jamie continued.Slowly, I took a careful sip from the strange juice and regretted it immediately; it tasted even worse than it smelled. But

I couldnt offend Jamie, so I pretended to keep drinking.

Thank you, I said with difficulty, pretending to swallow.

Youre welcome sweety, she replied with a smile.

With her childish expression, Jamie looked like she was still young, maybe in her early twenties. When she smiled,small dimples appeared on her forhead, which made her look older. She had a very warm face, friendly, with huge darkgreen eyes that made her look childlike, straight dark brown hair that didnt reach any longer than her shoulders, and around face that showed just how kind she was.

I sighed and looked her in the eyes.Jamie, would you mind helping me? I asked tentatively.

Sure thing darling. What do you need? she agreed quickly.Information. On who I am. Id like to remember my life.

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Ill tell you as much as I know.

I smiled in relief, then went on.

Thank you. Okay, so what do you know about me?

Well, your name is Aurea. I dont know your last name, and Im pretty sure youre not more than 27 years old, though

I dont know whens your birthday. Um you work at Johnnys restaurant, its only a few blocs away, and you and Ihave been roomates for 2 years. Other than that, I really dont know anything about your past.

Where am I?

Well, youre in New Jersey.

New Jersey? Wheres that?In the continent of America. Duh!

America?

Jamie looked at me like I was crazy.

On Earth!Thats a planet?

Of course!

A planet Id never heard of? Why didnt I even remember that?But why did I come to New Jersey? I stuttered on the name, not quite sure how to say it.

Im not sure. I guess you were looking for a job. All I know is that you came here about 7 years ago. You were barelyolder than a college girl, she explained.

What about before that?

I really dont know. You never talked about it, and I never wanted to disturb your privacy. It seemed to me like youdidnt enjoy much talking about yourself.

Okay. Well, how did I have amnesia in the first place? You said something about a ball and PhnixAll I know is that you were going out to take the newspaper, and the kids from the orphanage accidentally hit you on

the head with a basket ball. It was that adorable boy Phnix. He has such a beautiful face!

Whos Phnix?

Hes one of the kids at the St Augustine orphanage.

Orphan, so he lost his parents, right?Well his dad died a couple of months ago, but no one knows who his mom is. If you ask me, I think she ran away fromthem.

Why would anyone do that?

The idea was repulsive to me for some reason. Why would a mother abandon her child? How could she live with

herself after that? But most importantly, why does it make me feel so sick?My niece goes to the same school as Phnix. He told her once that his parents were barely 17 when they had him. Shemust have been too scared to take care of a child while still being one herself, so Im guessing she ran away and left her

baby to his father. Bit irresponsible if you ask me. She shouldnt have had a child in the first place if she was going to

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abandon him. That reminds me of a story I heard about on the news Jamie went on with her speculations, looking at

the ceiling of the tiny kitchen.

But I was already feeling bad for the poor Phnix boy. I found herself wanting to know more about him. Jamie seemedone of those people who just babbled on and on about the boring story of their life, and I knew I had to be the one to

remind her of the real point of discussion.

Hey, Jamie? I interrupted her tale.

Jamies eyes refocused on mine, and she frowned at the interlude. I sighed and smiled apologetically.

Sorry, I just wanted to ask you another question, I explained myself with a friendly tone.

Jamies eybrows relaxed instantly and her lips pulled up in a half smile.You really want my help? Youve never asked me for anything before, she pointed out, though I didnt remember.

Yes, really, I assured her. Youre the only person Ive seen so far.

All right then. Jamie seemed pleased. But if its about you, I have to warn you, Ive told you everything I know. Youand I were never close enough for you to tell me anything more than that.

I puckered my lips as I remembered that I still had no clue on who I was. Rearranging my thoughts, I asked anotherquestion, still about the same subject, though.

How much do you know about Phnix, then?

Not much. Ive seen him a few times. Talked to him only once. But I can tell hes an adorable boy. Hes very maturefor his age. Incredibly bright as well. I think he could be a pretty good choice for my niece.

I immediately sensed Jamie going into distraction. I didnt interrupt her this time, not wanting to hurt her feelings. I

pretended to keep listening, waiting for her to stop.

Shes got a bit of a crush on him, you see, she went on. Hes all she talks about. Phnix this and Phnix that!She sighed. Too bad hes got blue eyes. That pulled me back up.

Whats wrong with blue eyes? I demanded, an edge of insulance that I couldnt understand in my voice. Jamie didnt

think much of the interruption this time.

Blue eyes are cursed. Duh! They kill whoever you come to love.

I have blue eyes, I pointed out and understood why I had found the idea insulting.

Yes, but youre a woman. Blue eyes are a curse to boys and men.

Says who?

Everybody knows that!

I barely resisted rolling my eyes at the stupid superstition. Instead, I tried to change the subject.

Well, um, since you dont know much about me, do you know someone who does? I really need to regain mymemory.

Hmm maybe you should ask Johnny, your boss. He wouldnt have hired you if he didnt know anything about you,right? My face immediately light up at the suggestion.

Yes, great idea. There was a short pause. Slight problem. I have no idea where my work place is.

Jamie laughed. Dont worry. That, I can help you with, she assured me.

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The trip didnt take long, Jamie knew her way well. It was only a dozen blocs away from the appartment. The

restaurant wasnt very fancy. Big enough but not too decorativally taken care of. The walls were tinted a fair dark greenand had some blanc spots in a few places and only a couple of tables were taken, which made me think this wasnt a

very popular place.

Johnny was a friendly person on the surface, but as I spoke to him more, he seemed to be the kind of people who put ona poker face for the sake of their wallet getting heavier - though by the look of his restaurant, that was hardly the case.

He was dressed in a formal green suit, matching the color of the walls, and had apparently dived his head in a gel bath;his dark black hair was sparkling, looking solid as a rock, and pulled down to the left side of his skinny face, over his

brown eyes.

Aurea, Jamie, how are you today? he greeted us with a polite smile.

Fine, thank you, Jamie responded with a friendly tone.

What brings you here today? he wondered.

Aurea needs your help.

In a few minutes, Jamie had explained the situation to Johnny. All the while, his face was expressionless, speculative,and when the story was over, a hint of suspicion appeared on his face.

Is this another one of your jokes Aurea? he asked skeptically.

I trew my arms up in the air.

Why does everyone keep telling me that? I complained. Am I that much of a prankster?

Johnny pursed his lips while Jamie smiled playfully.

Well, Johnny was considering, pretty much, yeah.

He and Jamie laughed out loud. I groaned impatiently and the seriousness came back to their faces. Johnny consideredme for a couple of seconds then appeared to choose an interpretation.

Okay, fine, Ill believe you. You have amnesia, he concluded. What now?

Will you help me remember myself then? I asked hopefully.

Sure. Ill do what I can for you. Whats the first thing you want to know?

I asked the first question that came to my head.

When did you first meet me and when did you hire me?

It wasnt that long ago. Maybe around 5 years ago, though you had come more than 7 years ago, he explained, tryingto remember the exact timing. You had run away from college and you needed a job, he continued while staring into

the small white portion of the wall behind me.

I ran away from college? Why? I asked incredulously.

Well, that was what I had presumed. You were barely 19 or something when you came, you couldnt have graduatedyet and you were completely alone. Im not even sure you knew who your parents were, even back then.

Why did you hire me? It seemed odly suspicious to hire a runaway. For all he knew, I could have burned down theschool and was being chased by the police.

Johnny hesitated, as if there was something worse to it than hiring a wanted person. Jamie eyed him warily; it wasobvious she didnt have a clue what the answer was. I waited, determined not to back away no matter what the truthwas.

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Okay, heres the real story. I hired you because you attrackted clients like magnets, he confessed. The food you

make is heavenly! And I desperatly needed some money. I was in gambling and I had lost so much, owed so manypeople. When you came, and I saw the effect your food had on people, I hired you.

This wasnt as bad as I had imagined it would be. So he had hired me to use me to win some cash. No big deal! It

would have been a whole lot worse if he had hired me for something as big as being in a relationship with me forexample. Then it would have been even more frustration to me not to remember a bigger part of my life.

You were a fast worker. And a very effective one, too, he continued. And you got me out of my financial problem.

Did I work alone?

Only two days a week. The other two days you had a couple of chefs assisting you, and they work alone during the

three days of the week you have off.

I glanced around at the empty restaurant, except for the two occupied tables.

So today is one of my three days off then? I asked.

Yes, and as you can see, theres hardly any costumers. You are the whole key to my success. You work even faster thanten chefs together.

How was able to work so fast? I wondered curiously.

I dont know. But youve always had a lucky word youd say right before you finish a meal. Um.. it was something

like venire. And then youd say the name of the meal to get the luck on it. Plus, youd never let anyone watch youwhile you were working. Those two other chefs, all they do is serve food, take orders and clean after costumers

whenever youre here.

Really? Venire? Are you sure? I checked.

Positive, he affirmed.

Suddenly, Jamie gasped and I turned to see her looking at her watch.

Oh my gosh! Im going to be late formy work, she realised. Im sorry Aurea. Ive got to go. Would you be able tofind your way home?

Yes, of course! Go on. Im leaving in a few minutes anyway I promised her.

Thanks. I owe you, she yelled while runnning out.

Johnny looked hesitantly at me after Jamie had left.

Well, thats all I know. Hey, do you mind working today? he asked hopefully. I could use some help around here.

I glimpsed around the room again and surpressed a smile.

It doesnt look like you need help to me. Theres hardly any customers. Besides, I dont even remember how to

prepare food. Amnesia, remember? I reminded him.

Right. Do you think youll remember though? He wasnt so confident anymore.

I dont know, I answered honestly. Ill let you know.

Well, I hope I was of some help to you. I really owe you the most. Youre a very good person Aurea. He smiledkindly at me. This was definitely an honest smile.

I couldnt help returning the smile. That was a comfort to me. Perhaps I wasnt as bad as I had thought. I would try tokeep that in mind.

And Im sorry that I cant give you any more information, he went on. I hope you regain your memory.

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Thanks for your help, I answered before heading for the door. It shouldnt be so hard to find the appartment again.

I took the first turn I was sure of and kept going forward, remembering that it wasnt that long of a walk.

This visit was absolutely unsatisfying. I hadnt found out anything I wanted to. All I had understood about mypersonnality was that I was a funny person. How would that help remember who I really was? Its not like I had just

acted like any jokester when I was with Jamie and Johnny. What if the person I used to show them was not the real me?What if I had been a liar about my entire life?

It was going to be harder than I thought, to regain her memory. At first, I had hoped that being around people I knew, inplaces I went to, would help me somehow. But it didnt have any effect on me.

What bothered me the most was that I didnt even understand why I was so desperate to regain my memory. Myinstincts were telling me to figure everything out but I couldnt see why. Had I done something in my past that I hadwanted never to forget?

I glimpsed around me for half a second. Only six more blocks to go. I had enough time to think while being alone.Then I remembered that Jamie was at work and that the appartment must be empty. But that didnt make me go faster.Either I was in the appartment or outside on the street, it didnt matter. I just wanted to be alone.

Johnny and Jamies words came back to me, arranged in a way that they appeared successively, by order.

I had come to New Jersey seven to eight years ago when I was 19 years old. Two years after that, I had found my job atJohnnys restaurant. And then four years later, Jamie and I became roomates. I couldnt even remember those few

years.

But what could have happened during the gap between them? What had I done when I had come before finding a job?Had I been I living all by myself? What had even happened before that?

The most important question was; what was it that made me move here in the first place? As I asked myself that, I

found a yearning towards it. This was what I wanted to find out. Why had I run away from college? Or was it even truethat I had escaped my education?

Worried and utterly annoyed, I looked around me for the third time, just to distract myself. To my right, was a sign

reading St Augustine Orphanage, Helping The Ones Who Are Alone. It surprised me a little qhen I started wondering ifthe little boy Phnix was anywhere I could see him or talk to him. For some reason, finding out the story of his life

held the same curiousity I had to reaching mine, though not as strong.

I stopped right in place after I saw a couple of kids playing in the garden of the orphanage, and a third one sitting aloneon the sidewalk, invisible to them, reading a book. When I looked closer, I saw the title Pride and Prejudice on thefront cover.

Odd. Wasnt that a book for adults? I had been the only one to understand it in my school year, so how could a 9 yearold child grasp any word of it?

My heart flipped weirdly in my chest. Had I just recalled a memory on my own? A memory about my school year as a

teenager... Litterature had been my favorite subject, though I couldnt quite understand the strories without help frommy tutore.Pride and Prejudice had been my favorite book. It was the first book I read on my own.

Slightly glad that I finally recognised a part of my past, I continued my walk. It still wasnt enough to completelysatisfy me. So I had loved reading, that wasnt such a great news. I was happy to admit that I hadbeen in school andthat I had loved it. I defintely wouldnt have run away.

My stomach unexpectedly growled loudly and I laughed out loud. I hadnt realised how hungry I was.

Pleased to find something to distract me, I started thinking what I could have for breakfast. Or was it lunch time? I

didnt care, I just wanted to eat. I recalled Johnny telling me how good of a cook I was. I wondered if I could cookagain. Then I remembered the exact words he had told me: But youve always had a lucky word youd say right before

you finish a meal. Um.. it was something like venire. And then youd say the name of the meal to get the luck on it.

Venire I murmured, and frowned.

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Why did I ever use that word? Luck wasnt something I believed in. At least I didnt thinkI did.

Venire. And then the name of the meal, I speculated out loud. Maybe if I tried saying it, it would jog something in mymemory. Venire orange?

Suddenly, a small round orange was in my hand. I yelled and dropped it.

Whoa! I shouted. What the?

I looked down at the ground. It was still there. I hadnt imagined it. An orange had litteraly come out of nowhere in myhand.

Erasing the panic in me, I tried again.

Venire chicken?

All of a sudden, a chicken appeared between my two hands. A live big chicken. Terrified, it clapped its wings hastily,trying to get free from me.

I screamed and let it run away.

Whoa I murmured.

I stared after the chicken, amazed at what I had just discovered. Did I have the gift to make food appear out of thin air?

What if it wasnt just food?

I took a deep breath and braced myself for the next try.

Venire bracelet, I whispered, too scared to say it any louder.

Around my wrist, a golden lace appeared with a small locket at one end. I opened it but found it empty.

A new feeling reigned in me; I was talented. I wasnt a normal human, I had a supernatural gift. A sense of pride coverdme. I was special and I loved that.

Wow thats pretty, a voice to my right said. I jumped and turned around.

In front of me, the boy who was reading just a few minutes ago stood staring at me, with his head coocked to one side.

Dressed in jeans, a red shirt and a blue jacket, with red shoes, he looked like he could be 8 or 9 years old, but I couldntbe sure. His eyes, deep blue, were locked on the bracelet surrounding my wrist.

Um... thank you, I managed.

I didnt know you could make something as pretty as that, he continued.

What do you mean? I asked.

Well, youve never created anything this nice before. Its always been nothing more than a hat or a cape.

My eyes opened wide and my mouth popped open. Did this kid know anything about the newly discovered gift I had?

Have you seen me do that before? I asked, stunned.

Yeah. Twice. The first time was by accident, but the second time, I I was spying on you, he admitted, embarrassed.

By his appearance, I judged that it wasnt on bad intentions.

Why?

Because Ive never met anyone else who could do magic. And I was curious.

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Magic?

Was that what I had done? It wasnt like I had any idea what was happening with me. Maybe this little person was

going to give me the help I needed.

Yes, magic, he answered.

I deliberated for a few seconds. Whats your name? I demanded.

Im Ferus Phnix. Nice to meet you, he replied as he held out his hand with a smile on his face.

My face light up at the sound of his name. There he was, finally!

Hey! Ive been looking for you, I sang happily and took his hand in mine.

Phnix eyebrows pulled together in a frown, obviously intrigued by what I had just said. Really? Why? Slowly, hetook his hand back.

No reason. By the way why did you throw a ball on my head? I remembered how I had sort of woken up earlier thismorning.

His brows relaxed into an arch. Oh I was just trying to play with the other kids. They made me play. But I dont like it,

I prefer to read.

Why? Youre a kid, all kids like to play.

Not me. Its so silly to just throw a ball to each other. Wheres the fun in that? Anyway, Im sorry I hit you with it. It

was my first time throwing a ball and I didnt mean to hurt anybody. He eyed me with a faintly concerned expression.Youre not really injured are you?

I surpressed sarcasm. Injured? No. But I did loose my memory.

Phnix face turned even more worried.

What? You had amnesia?

I was surprised he even knew a medical word like amnesia.

Yeah. And Jamie gave me a remidy for it. Though it hasnt really been working, I added crossly in her mind.

Phnix instantly calmed his face into a mock.

And you believed her? Jamie is very superstitious. Did you know she thinks wearing pink on Easter is good luck?

Then why dont I remember anything? I challenged.

Because youre a magical person, like me. The way he said, it was almost smug.

There were two meanings in his words, but I asked about the last one.

You have magic, too?

He shrugged his shoulders.

Yeah, I do.

I gazed at him suspiciously and crossed my arms.

Prove it, I said. This made him smile proudly.

Okay. Look at your bracelet.

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I lifted my arm to my eyes and waited. Slowly, gradually, the color of my bracelet turned from golden to blue, pink,

green, red and finally back to gold.

I refolded my arms and turned back to Phnix, still unconvinced.

That could have been me I replied.

How did you do it, then? he defied.

I deliberated for a minute. I dont know, I finally admitted.

Phnix half smiled, winning. I do. Coloring spell. Its the easiest of all spells.

He glanced around him, checking that the road was empty besides us two, then looked back at me. He grinnedangelically, staring straight into my eyes, when suddenly, his own skin tone changed. I rubbed her eyes, blinked severaltimes, even slapped myself once, - which made him burst in laughter - but his skin was still the same snow white color.I gasped as he transformed into a greenish blue color.

Phnix laughed again at my expression and turned his skin back to its usual color. His laugh was clearly that of a child,ringing like a bell. Yet, everything else about him had made me think maybe he didnt act much like a child.

Okay, so maybe you do have magic I accepted. And apparently, you know more than I do.

Its really not so hard, he assured me. I have been practising for nearly my entire life. Magic is easy for the biggestpart.

But what does it mean that I have magic, anyway? Is it a good thing or a bad thing?

Well, that depends on how you look at it. For me, its the greatest blessing. I dont know what Id do if I didnt havemagic.

Why is that? I wondered.

If I didnt have magic, sister Sofie would probably have caught me getting out of the orphanage and would havebrought me straight to mother Karen, and I would have been grounded by now.

You ran away? I whispered, shocked. Why?

He shrugged indifferently. I just get bored with their silly games, like basketball. Dont worry, Im not going to stay

out forever. I dont have anywhere else to go anyway, he added when he saw my concern. Im an orphan and I dontknow any member of my family.

That brought me back to this morning when Jamie had told me that Phnix had lost his father two months ago. I felt

bad for him, even seeing him smiling as he was now. Not wanting to ask him about it, worried it might upset him, Idecided to change the subject.

Is there any special place where other people with magic live?

Yeah, they live on Solcis.

Astonishment ran through my entire body as the familiar sound of that rang, and made it impossible to speak. I wassuddenly frozen.

Solcis I mouthed.

I knew that place very well. It was where I was born, where I had grew up, where I had learned magic at school, alongwith other subjects.

Solcis was my home, the planet I was from.

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2. SOLCIS

I couldnt move. I couldnt untie my knuckles or unfold my arms crossed around my chest. The shock was not getting

any lighter, though I had been standing there for several minutes, gazing into thin air.

Phnix was as still as I was, waiting for me to respond, watching carefully, more patient than a teacher with his slowstudents. But I couldnt even twitch a finger.

Solcis.

I remembered being there, as a child and a teenager. I remembered school, and studying. I even recalled doing magic,but I didnt find any spells I used to say. I also remembered how much I loved that planet.

I suddenly understood why I hadnt been able to recognise any of the places Jamie had told me earlier in the morning. Ihadnt heard of them when I was on Solcis.

Phnix finally cracked out to impatience.

Whats wrong with you? he asked.

My gaze shifted to him. I couldnt answer for a long moment.

Its kind of hard to explain. And its a very long story, I finally said.

He contemplated for half a minute. Well, he replied, how about we go somewhere we could talk. It seems to me that

this conversation is going to take a long time.

That distracted me a little bit from the shock. Wont you get in trouble if you stay out of the orphanage for too long?

He smiled, smug again. Nope. Not when I have magic on my side. Dont worry about me, just tell me where we couldgo.

It didnt take long for me find the ideal place.

My appartment is empty right now. So that would be the perfect place, I answered.

Phnix face light up. Perfect. I always wanted to know what your house looked like from the inside.

Weird. Why?

I constantly immagine the kind of magical stuff you would have there.

Oh. Well, youre going to be really disappointed. I have nothing out of the ordinary in there. Everything only a normal

human being needs.

He shrugged his shoulders and started walking in front of me. I followed after him and quickly caught up.

Do you even know where I live? I asked dubiously.

Sure. I see through the window of your kitchen from my bedroom. Youre only three blocs away, he replied. Ill raceyou there, he added before taking off.

I laughed out loud before running after him. This curious little kid was suddenly the most enjoyable company I had

since this morning. It wasnt difficult for me to catch him. He was already at the elevator in my building, one handholding it open for me, another on the button of the fifth floor. I joined him in and he pressed the button.

Phnix found a spare key under the rug, in front of the appartment, and opened the door. He ran straight to the window,

pointing at a building outside.

See? Thats my bedroom, he explained.

And I could see it; a tiny little room with just one bed and a small closet.

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Yeah, I see it, I answered. Now come sit down. Would you like something? Water? I offered.

Waters good, he agreed, going to take a seat in the living room, to the right side of the kitchen.

I opened the fridge and got a bottle of water, then took out two cups from the cupboard, and followed Phnix. We bothsat down on a red couch which was on the east wall of the room.

Here you go, I said as I handed him one of the cups and poured water in it.

Thank you, Aurea, he said as he drank the whole thing.

My eyes opened wide with shock, and I stared at him for a long moment. He saw the alarm on my face.

What? he asked, concerned, as he placed the cup on the side table.How how do you know my name? I mumbled.

Oh well like I said earlier, Ive spied on you. I wasnt trying to intrude, I was just trying to make sure you werereally a magic person. I couldnt be sure from the first time.

Okay, but when did you hear my name? I pressed. Theres a difference between watching and listening.

Um I eavesdropped on you at work with Johnny once and once in here with Jamie. He glanced at me, hisexpression apologetic. That doesnt bother you, does it?

I wasnt sure about that. It definitely didnt bother me right now, but maybe it had bothered me before when I had

caught him doing it.

Whoa. Another memory. This time it was of my life here.

Did I ever catch you? I dared to ask him.

His eyes were both embarassed and astonished.

Did you just remember something of your past? he whispered.

That depends. Did I ever catch you or the memory I just had is not true? I pushed.

Slowly, he nodded, the same expression not leaving his face.

Once, he explained. But you didnt think much of it. You just smiled at me when you saw me looking through yourkitchen window. After a long pause, he added in a low voice, How did you do that? Remember a part of your life on

Earth? Its not supposed to be possible.

I frowned. Why not?

Phnix took a deep breath, obviously getting ready to tell a long story. I felt suddenly nervous. Would I recognizeanything he was about to tell me?

Okay, he started. To avoid complicating things, why dont I start with the beginning?

I shrugged in approval.

Fisrt things first then. Solcis. My father has explained to me everything he knew about the magical world. Solcis is aplanet. Theres no immediate need for you to understand everything regarding it right now, you just need to understandwhy you lost your memory.

You know why I lost my memory, I said, my tone almost accusing.

Yeah, I do. See, like any country, Solcis has laws. Its not just a planet where people are allowed to do as they wish.

You could consider it a country instead of a planet because its so small that it isnt divided into different continents and

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countries like here on Earth. Its actually no bigger than Canada in surface. If youd like to imagine Solcis, you could

picture Canada isolated from the rest of the planet and give it a round form.

Anyway, like I said, there are rules and laws, and if you break the regulations or dont follow them theresconsequences. It could change depending on which rule was broken, what crime was commited.

Crime? I echoed.

Yeah. What kind of rules do you think there is? Its a crime to steal for example, no matter where you are. Theres all

sorts of rules and laws, and all of them must be followed, like in any other place. Criminals get punished according tothe sort and size of the crime they committed. For example, if you steal a big amount of money, you spend 20 to 25years in prison.

Who gets to decide how long? I demanded, interested in knowing.

The Royal family, he explained. I raised my eybrows questioningly. The family members are the king and thequeen. I dont know if they have any children, or if theyre still alive for that matter. My father never told me any dates.

Anyway, the biggest punishment there is on Solcis is banishment. They send you away to another planet that

So I have done the biggest crime there is? I interrupted, alarmed.

I think so. Theres no other justification to why youre here and not there.

How was he able to speak so casually about it? I was very much panicking in my insides.

But, youre here and not there, too, I pointed out, struggling to hide the fear from my face.

Thats because Im a runaway.

Runaway? From what? I speculated, vaguely distracted from the panic.

The story of my life is not what were talking about right now. Were talking about you. My story will come later, heobjected in a srick tone.

Alright, I agreed. So which crime causes banishment? I continued, trying not to show how afraid of the answer Iwas. He didnt seem to see through me. Or he did see and I was too nervous to notice. In any case, he went on and

replied carelessly.

Intentional murder.

My mouth hung open for two seconds before I recollected herself. Murder?! I murmured, horrified. I killedsomeone?!

I believe so. How could he be so relaxed with a murderer sitting right next to him?

Remembering what Johnny had told me this morning, youre a good person, I suddenly disagreed with the thoughts I

had had then. I wasnt a good person at all. Murder is never a sign of any good. I had been hoping to regain some partof my past, something to clarify who I was and what I was doing here. But now, I just didnt want to hear any more of

it. How could I have killed a person? I tried to remember feeling no regret to killing, or even pleasure, but all I felt wasdisgust and horror.

And also, now that I knew some part of the truth, guilt. A whole lot of it. It crushed me like a foot crushed a spider. It

was probaly a very larger guilt then anyone had ever felt in history; no one would ever bear an emotion this strong.

I tried to cringe away from it, or at least think of something else, but it was all that was on my mind in the moment. Ilooked around me, hoping to see something that would divert me, and I saw the concerned features on Phnix face.

It all happened in a flash; one second I was sitting right beside him, the other I was at the other side of the room. Whatif I hurt him by accident? Or worse, on purpose?

Get out of here Phnix, I ordered in a dark voice which clouded my sadness to see him leave, my only friend so far.

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Several emotion crossed his face, all at once. I was able to recognise some of them; shock, hurt, disappointment andsadness.

Why? he asked in a small voice.

Im a murder, I reminded him impatiently. Why was he making it so difficult? I didnt want to hurt him. Why wasnt

he grasping my words and running away? Arent you afraid of me?

No, he responded in a softer tone.

Finally, the diversion I was waiting for.

Why not? I asked, both intrigued and cautious.

Because you dont remember anything.

I considered that for a moment. Okay so I didnt remember killing, not even the desire to kill. Maybe right now I wouldbe incapable of harming him, but hadnt I remebered many things this morning? Couldnt I recall my need fordestruction at any time?

But I might remember at any second and jump to hurt you, I said my theory out loud.

I dont think you can. Why dont sit back down and Ill explain the rest? he suggested.

After a moment of hesitation, I took my seat again by Phnix side, a little further than I had been before jumping offit.

I have many reasons to believe that you wont ever harm me. For one thing, the upshot of that crime isnt justbanishment. The Royal family also erases the memory of the criminal. Well not entirely, youre just left with everyknowledge you need to take care of yourself. Therefore, you can talk, read, walk and all of the other things that are

essential to live.

Secondly, even with an erased memory, the personnality of someone is in the genes -how did he even know what agene was? - and it doesnt really change. For that reason, if you dont feel any nessecity to kill me right now, than you

never did have that feeling.

There was a hole in his logic though. I did kill before. Or else I wouldnt be in this situation.

See, this is where it gets good. I dont think you killed someone. I think there was a mistake and you were really aninnocent accused of doing something you didnt.

What makes you think Im innocent? I asked doubtfully, though I did feel a tad relieved.

For the reason I just told you. If you dont have any need to hurt me right now then you never did. Character is not

something that could change. I think youre a good person and always have been. He smiled at me reassuringly.

What was it about his smile? It made me somehow feel glad to have found this child, and very touched that he wasconvinced I wasnt a criminal. I even believed his theory, it was a logical explanation to why I hadnt wanted to harm

him.

I smiled back. Are you sure youre even a kid? You look like one, you walk like one, you even talk and laugh like one,but you dont think like a child.

He laughed out loud, and I joined him.

My father was very strict with me, and I was very patient with him. I always accepted everything he tought me, even

the things I didnt want to learn, like biology. Oh yeah, I know a lot of biology, he added when I looked dubiously athim. I even understand litterature. Its my favorite subject. He reached the right pocket of his jacket and took out asmall book.Pride and Prejudice, which he was reading earlier. This is my favorite book. Ive read it about a hundredtimes and I keep reading it. I cant get enough of it.

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So its thanks to your father that you became so mature?

I wouldnt say thanks to. More like because of. How would you like it if you were taught all sorts of things since you

were only 3 years old?

Three? Wow, harsh, I complained. Why did you ever go along with him anyway?

Hes my father, I loved him. He was my only family. Until I got admitted into the orphanage, I didnt know anyoneother than him. I wasnt going to object to anything he wanted. Anyway, were not talking about me right now, so lets

just change the subject for now, please, he begged, a hint of despair in his voice.

It seemed to be a very hard topic for him to talk about, and I didnt want to push him too far, so I agreed without ahesitation. I went back to what we had been talking about a few minutes ago.

How come I dont remember anything but I have been here for nearly eight years? I asked, searching to check if myattempt to distract him from his sudden misery was working.

It was. He looked at me with the same proud face he had when he was clarifying something he knew and I didnt.

Because it takes a bit less than eight years to erase 75% of a persons memory. The phase in which you would be induring that time is called no life.

But how did I meet some people if I wasnt alive, then? I questioned, not understanding the concept.

No. No life doesnt mean youre dead, he disagreed. It means that your brain is unconscious but the rest of your

body functions instinctively to take care of you and let you lead a normal life. The phase is over when the erasing iscomplete, and then your brain will be consious again, but with no memory at all of your past.

I stared at him, looking as if I couldnt believe my ears.

Wow, I mouthed, amazed. They do all that just to prevent criminals from murdering again? Why dont they just send

them to jail, or execute them and get it over with?

Phnix shook his head disapprovingly. Murder is a serious crime. Jail isnt an enough punishment for it. And if theykill the criminals, then they commit the same felony they did.

I snorted. Seems to me like the Royal family is pretty descent.

I think so. I dont know much about them. It was the only thing my father never taught me. He deliberated for a

second, deep in thought. You know, if they made a mistake in judging you had murdered, I doubt theyll be able tohelp you prove youre innocent.

I saw the meaning behind his words and grinned. And by that, you mean I should try to prove Im innocent, right?

Phnix lips pulled up in a half smile. Busted! he admitted happily.

I chuckled. Okay, well suppose I did agree to that. Where would I start? I cant even go to Solcis, I dont know how.

He stood up and went to the center of the room. He then placed his right hand on his chest and lifted the other one 45

degrees up.

I, Ferus Phnix, vow to help you, Aurea, prove youre not a criminal, he promised.

I laughed out loud and stood up. I snapped a military salute at him and he mimicked my action. Both of us laughedafter that, enjoying the humoring moment.

Then I was serious again. Phnix, you cant really believe I can do that, can you?

His smile disappeared, and along came the surprise. Why not? Dont you believe youre innocent?

Its not that. I just think its a long shot to be able to prove it. I doubt anyone will let me try. Besides, if Im going to be

happy here, why should I try to find some old life? Ill just adapt to this new one.

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So fast that I wasnt even sure I saw it, Phnix flashed a disappointed look towards the window. He was trying to hideit from me, but I saw it before he had comlpetely turned around.

Something I had said had bothered him? I tried remebering what I could have said that was somehow insulting, but

came out empty handed. He had vowed to help me prove I was innocent, and I had said it was a long shot.

That was when I understood the meaning of the words he had used.

You were serious when you said you wanted to help me? I guessed.

He twisted his gaze back to me and looked down, not bothering to hide his hurt feelings anymore.

Hey, I said in a soothing voice. Its all right. I dont understand why it makes you so sad. Im fine with it.

He looked up at me with his sad eyes and tried to explain what was on his head.

I wanted to go back to Solcis, he admitted. Its the only thing I have close to home.

Pity washed through me. Though I had been avoinding this subject, I couldnt stop myself from opening thisdiscussion.

I sat back down on the couch and patted it on my right, an invitation for him to join me. He consented, the sadnessnever leaving his eyes.

Okay. So you have been getting me out of this suject for almost half an hour now. Its time you tell me about the storyof your life, I whispered, comforting.

Phnix sighed heavily. Guess I knew it was coming, I just tried to avoid it.

Why?

Its a disturbing topic for me to discuss.

I couldnt help it, I had to put my arm around him, rubbing his shoulder. It didnt seem to bother him. Quite the

contrary even, he shifted closer to me, resting his head on my neck. That brought a new feeling in me. I wasnt surewhat it was. It seemed almost protective. Though I wasnt sure why I felt any need to protect a child that wasnt even

hmine, or even what to protect him from.

Both of us jumped when my stomach roared, and then both of us laughed.

Im going to guess that you havent had breakfast yet, he teased playfully.

Busted! I laughed, quoting him. Oh dang! I dont know how to prepare food, I remembered.

Dont worry. I do, he assured me.

My eyes popped open and my jaw hung; I was stunned. Was there something he couldnt do? Would I ever get used tohis numerous surprising abilities? He laughed at my expression.

You really have to stop being so amazed by what I can do. Im a very talented kid, he bragged.

I puckered her lips. Show off, I joked.

He laughed again. What would you like? he asked me.

I considered the idea for a few seconds. What didI like to eat? The answer wasnt so hard to find, I would have known

it even if I hadnt lost memory; my mouth was already watering at the thought, planting an aproximate taste of it on mytongue.

Pancakes, I replied.

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He nodded and then moved back to the kitchen.

=========================================================

3. EXCEPTIONAL

Phnix was very good at preparing food. He only used magic once, after he had asked me where the appropriate

material and ingredients were, before realising I probably had no idea, and laughing. He searched for everythinghimself. It didnt take him long using the venire spell.

The cooking didnt take long either. He was fast in mixing up the elements, and it wasnt two minutes later that the firstpancake was ready. Phnix also handed me the grape juice.

Mmm these are good! Where did you learn to cook, anyway? I asked in a mouthfull. Oh my goodness, they dontmake you cook at the orphanage, do they? I added before he even answered.

No. The people at the orphanage are all very nice, he guaranteed. My father and I used to take cooking classes

together. He was a very bad cook when we first came here, and he didnt have any help.

I hesitated for a long moment, staring at Phnix back, preparing the second pancake, before asking my next question.

What happened to your mom?

He sighed. I dont know. My father would never tell me anything about her.

Why not?

Everytime I brought her up, he would mutter something about how stupid and wicked she was. He thinks shes theworse thing that ever happened to him But I think that, deep inside, he misses her just a bit.

Im sorry, I apologised honestly.

He turned, his hand layed out in front of him, and shrugged his shoulders.

Its fine, really.

Though I felt he was trying to reassure me, I saw how much it hurt him to talk of his parents.

I handed him the empty plate, on which he placed the second and last pancake. After that, he put all the dishes in the

sink and washed them. I saw him scrubbing the bowl for the third time.

Stalling? I challenged, smiling internally.

He smiled half-heartedly. Kinda. Arent you eating that? he asked, poiting at the still unbitten pancake.

In three bites, I finished the last piece of my breakfast, and this time washed the plate, fork and knife myself.Afterward, I almost pushed Phnix back to the living room and onto the couch.

Dont you want anything to drink? he delayed.

Stop running away, I ordered in a fierce voice.

He moaned in loss. Fine.

Why is that such a hard subject to speak of? I asked in kinder tone.

You have to understand the situation Im in. I grew up without a mother and with a very demanding father. It certainly

is hard to tell anyone the story of my life. Its a very unpleasant one.

What do you mean? How much unpleasant was it?

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Very. Aside from the head mother, youre the only one who I will ever have told that story, - though she doesnt know

entirely everything, of course; Im not allowed to tell any non-magical person about my abilities - so please dont bejudgmental.

Ill be as open-minded as I can, I promied.

Thank you. He thought carefully before speaking again, seeming unsure where to start.

Why dont you begin with the basics; your name, your birth place, your father I suggested.

Yeah, okay, he agreed. My name is Ferus Phnix, as you probaly already know, and Im almost 10 years old, mybirthday is in exactly four weeks. I was born on Solcis, like you certainly were, and my parents werent 17 yet whenthey had me. Well, my father was, but I know that my mother is a few month younger than him, so Im pretty sure she

wasnt 17 yet when she was pregnant with me. I have no idea why and how she got pregnant so young, but my fathersalways told me he didnt regret having me at all. He always said it with affection, so I think he meant it, I think myfather really did love me. But Im not so sure about what hed said about my mother; that, on the other hand, she didntwant me and that it was why she had run away from us. She actually loved me. He spoke those few words with

unshakable faith.

How do you know that?

She was the one who named me. I know that because my father didnt even know the meaning of my name.Ferus

Phnix stands forproudness and exceptionality. If she really didnt care about me, why did she call me exceptional?

I smiled reassuringly. You have a very nice name.

He returned the smile. Thanks. Yours is not so bad.Aure, as in Gold. Your name is Gold. Haha! Very nice name.

I frowned at his newest attempt at diversion. Back to the point.

He smiled wickedly. Its hard to distract you, isn it?

I laughed. Apparently so, I bragged. Now tell me more.

Well, he continued, serious again, I dont know why my mother left. Im not even sure she did. Ive had a thought

once that maybe my father was the one who ran away from her, and took me with him. It would be either because heloved me and didnt want her to have me, or he hated her and wanted to get back at her. Either way, I dont think it was

my mother who ran away.

Was he I hesitated, wondering if this question would upset him.

What? Go ahead, ask me, he encouraged.

Was your father a bad person?

You mean dangerous, right? he guessed, and I nodded. Ive had many fears of him. He obviously isnt physicallydangerous, since he never hurt a fly. But he did have some evil thoughts and ambitions. Like when he younger; he

told me his biggest ambition was to become king. He even confessed almost killing someone to get there. But he saidthat my birth made him change his mind about that. He didnt want to become a ruler anymore. Instead, he wanted me

to be one. Thats why he teached me so many things when I was too young to learn. He sighed.

What happened to him? I asked in a low voice, hoping this question wouldnt hit a sensitive cord.

He died two months ago from a rare sort of cancer. Apparently, he caught it no more than a year before he died, fromthe last trip to Africa, and it had spread very fastly to his brain. And then he brain-died, and the doctors couldnt doanything more to save him. The expression on his face showed that he might be about to cry.

Africa? I asked, just to try and lift his mood up again.

Yeah, we used to travel a lot. His parents were very rich, and they left him all of their fortune, which is now rightfullymine, and I cant even use it. Mother Karen is very careful not to mention that fact when couples looking for adoption

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come to the orphanage. She really cares a lot for me. He smiled tenderly, and went on. You know what Ill do once

Im old enough to use that money?

I shook my head. No, what?

Ill give it all to charity. Everybody has a right to live. So I would help them.

Good for you. I smiled approvingly. Now go back to the subject, I said in a stricter tone.

Dang! Youre good! he murmured, impressed.

Thank you very much.

He sighed for what seemed the hundredth time. My parents were really young when they first met, but I honestlybelieve that they loved each other. Even before I came along, my father asked my mother several times to marry him.And after my birth, he gave it many shots, too. But my mother always thought she was too young to get married.

The first time he proposed to her, they were 15, and the last time they were 18. After the last try, he decided that shewas never going to agree, which was one of the many reasons I think of that he left. Hed had many reasons I suppose,

because hes not the kind of person that hurts someone over something as stupid as rejecting him. Trust me on that.

Anyway, I never believed what he would say about my mother not wanting me. I would always pretend to listen and

pretend to agree, but inside, I would be arguing with him, and refusing every word he would say.

I thought once why isnt she looking for me? But then I realised she must not have known where he had run away to,

and I decided to search for her instead. I made that decision two years ago, and I have been looking for her ever since.Of cousre, I was doing that without my fathers knowledge because he definitely wouldnt approve. And then I had to

stop altogether when he died and I was admitted in the orphanage, because I cant ever go out of there alone.

I remembered then that Phnix was hiding out of the orphanage and wondered if I would get him in trouble.

Hey, speaking of that, when are you planning to go back? To the orphanage, I mean? I asked, allowing myself to besidetracked.

He saw that, and smiled his wicked smile again. Im in no hurry. See, Ive installed a magical detector that rings in my

head everytime someone tries to open the door of my room, which is locked, so I can apparate there in no time. Nobodywill ever know I was gone, and nobody will ever notice me sneaking in, because both are done by magic. He looked at

me with a slightly amused smile. I told you not to worry about me, he reminded me.

I couldnt help it. There was a protective side in me that I couldnt fight, no matter how much I tried.

And I thought youre not easily ditracted? he teased.

Im not. I just wanted to know that. You didnt distract me, I distracted myself this time.

He flashed his wicked smile back at me. If you say so, he taunted.

Stop trying to sidetrack me - Im the only one allowed to do that - and tell me more about your parents.

Alright, alright, he gave up. What else do you want to know?

I picked an easy question to ask out of the million I had in mind. You said you have been searching for your mother.How exactly? What have you been doing?

I have been making trips to Solcis, visiting the places my father had been to, he responded.

Do you even know places there? How much didhe know about everything?

Yes. My father not only taught me everything that is taught on Earth, but also everything he had learned on Solcis.Including its geography. So I know the map of the planet and I have visited a very few of the villages and cities, I dontreally dare to go anywhere my father never told me anything about, and hes told me so little about each city hes been

to. I dont know Solcis so much in person, per say. I just know about it from what Ive learned and read.

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Suddenly, Phnix leaned his head to one side, and looked strangely at me, his expression calculating. I frowned andtried to understand what he was doing.

Whats wrong with you? I asked after a pause.

Hey, I just had an idea. You know how I cant look for my mom anymore since my father died? he started.

I nodded slowly, not seeing where this was going.

Well, what if you could help me with that?

I still didnt get it. Help him find his mother? How? I didnt even know how to help myself, let along a 10 year old

child.

What couldIever do to helpyou out? I asked, intrigued and entirely curious. I barely know my way around here.How could I help you search for someone even you dont know?

He bit lip, an obvious sign to embarrassment. Well, its not the search I was thinking about. I was actually hoping thatmaybe you could help me get away from the orphanage.

It was still unclear for me what Phnix was trying to say. You mean like run away?

He shook his head, still embarrassed. No. Not run away. If I did that and nobody found me, then I would be placed asmissing and the wrong people might get accused of harming me.

I started feeling tired with this game. Would you just get to the point, please?

He bit his lip harder. Would you adopt me? he dared to ask under his breath.

I froze, taken off guard. Adopt you? I whispered, unable to say it any louder. What?

And then the words were running out from him at a very fast speed. Its just temporary, just until I can find her. Youdont have to really want to keep me, I just want to be able to get out of the orphanage without raising suspicions, and Icant do the same thing Im doing right now - install a magical alarm - because it doesnt work on such immense

distances. And I promise, once I can leave, you dont have to go with me, you could stay here if thats what you want.Just help me get out and thats it. Im not asking you to help me look for her, too, I just

I finally moved by putting my hand over his mouth. Stop for a second and let me think, I demanded in a low voice.

Unable to speak, he nodded, and waited while I thought the whole idea through.

Adopt a kid I barely knew Who does such insanity? Oh, right probably a lot of couples adopted kids after just a few

meetings. But why did this feel like it was different? I didnt feel like this child in particular was any stranger to me. Ihad gotten used to him in just an hour, maybe even less. Hadnt I felt protective of him? Even caring? He definitely

didnt feel like a stranger to me, quite the contrary, I considered him as a friend already.

Alright, considering I did adopt him, what would we do? Neither of us knew their way around on Solcis. Of course,together, we probably had a better chance at finding a way, two heads are better than one. But I was having a hard time

immagining how I would help him find his mother; though he hadnt asked me - or rather, he had said he wouldnt askme - to accompany him to Solcis, if I was going to adopt him, I wouldnt let him go there on his own.

However, I didnt remember anything much about mu own life, and I had decided to regain my memory, hadnt I? I

couldnt give that idea up and welcome a new one, could I?

My lips stretched up in a triumphant smile, putting a plan together. Phnix shoved my hand away from his mouth toask me What are you thinking about?

I have a better idea than yours, I announced.

Tell me, he said, excited.

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was that I was trying to track down anyone I suspected was related to me according to my family name, and that I was

hoping to head for wherever city I found them the most gathering. It was a lie since I had no idea what my family namewas, but that stopped Johnnys questionning.

I hunted for activities I might have liked, launching into the most popular ones like swimming, and also the cheapest

ones; I wasnt planning on going broke, but apparently, I had a very large sum of money in my account, enough for meto survive unemployed for three months, one month if I was an overspender - which I turned out not to be, thankfully.

Swimming turned out to be my favorite activity. I also enjoyed to horse ride and paint. It seemed I had some talent for

drawing details around me; I would focus very much on the color tones of everything surrounding me while paiting,and I had some sense as to how to mix colors to get the perfect one. I especially enjoyed drawing a view of lakes; thewater had so many different colors in it and I simply couldnt resist.

A full three weeks passed without my seeing or hearing Phnix. I wasnt very worried, I was sure he was going to talkto me at some point, either to refuse my offer or to accept it. I wasnt nervous about the answer either, I had made upmy mind to go alone if he turned down my proposal. Besides, I was the one who asked him to really evaluate hisoptions. Though I had not expected him to take so long, I waited patiently.

A very small part of me was still going with the possibility of me being guilty, and the other part of myself faught withit, vowing that if that were the case, I wouldnt harm him, not even a little bit. There seemed to be some kind ofmagnetism that pulled me to Phnix life, and I felt like I really cared about the little boy; his life was already a

valuable point to me.

I also reserved a part of the day - whenever Jamie was at work - to practising all spells I had remembered so far. Thatwasnt so hard, I remembered only two spells besides venire, the object appearer; I recalled the object disappearer,

coactare, and the color changer, colore. Although of course, those spells wouldnt help me go to Solcis, I keptpractising them , hoping it would bring back other memories.

Every Saturday afternoon, I would spend my time at the beach, either tanning or swimming in the pool. I didnt mindspending time alone. It was actually more of a relief; being alone allowed me to think more clearly, because there

would be nobody to interrupt me or to contradict me. Alone was quieter.

After a three hours swim, I would head back home, take a bath then go to my favorite calm spot at the parc and draw insilence. It took twenty minutes to get from my appartment to the parc, and the time alone let me have some more

thinking time.

Then I would go back home, have dinner and go to sleep. And during every hour of my day, I would think aboutPhnix.

This day, I was wondering once again where Phnix was; this was usually the topic on my mind. I wanted so badly togo visit him in the orphanage, talk to him again, but I resisted; I was leaving the choice to him. I wasnt going to forcemyself on him. Still, as crazy as it seemed, he was the only enjoyable company I had had so far, though we had only

interacted once.

Aurea, the familiar voice called.

I lifted my eyes, looking ahead, and my heart filled with joy and relief as I saw him standing in front of my building,waiting for me. His face was cold, expressionless, wich turned my relief to worry. If he had decided to not go with me,

what would I do? True, I would go alone, but I wouldnt see him again. Would it hurt me, or would I be able to gowithout him?

I hurried to join him - almost ran - and lifted my hand to shake his. But he surprised me by grabbing me by the waist

with one arm and hugging me. I rubbed his shoulder, returning the welcome.

Hey Phnix, I greeted him, smiling. Hows it going?

Good, he answered, not returning the smile. And you?

Not bad. And after second thought, I quit my job, I announced cheerfully.

He let go of me and looked up at me, confusion breaking through his composed neutral mask. Why? he asked.

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I dont want to look like Im running away if I leave, I explained.

The neutral expression returned to his face as soon as he realised what I meant. Oh.

We stood there for a long moment, just staring at each other, both of us not knowing how to start the conversation. Itwas clear that we were both nervous and had a lot to say to each other.

Um, I began, why dont we er get inside my appartment? Its empty right now and Jamie wont be back for

another hour, I suggested.

Alright, Phnix agreed quickly.

We walked silently, the atmosphere between us filled with tension. Nervous was the main feeling I was having. But Icouldnt tell how Phnix felt, his expression was so empty that I couldnt tell what was on his mind. There could behidden excitement, as I hoped, or there was simply the bad news I was awaiting for and not completely believing wascoming.

If he was to say no because he was afraid of me, I planned to object by letting him know the vow I made to herself, thatI wouldnt harm him no matter who I turned out to be. That was my backup plan. The problem was that if he refusedeven this, I didnt know how to proceed.

I opened the door and entered first, Phnix on my flanks. Once I was inside, I remembered my wet hair; I had beenswimming for nearly three hours.

Hey, um, I need to take a quick shower, I told Phnix. It will only take a few minutes. Is that okay?

He shrugged indifferently. I have loads of time. I can wait., I dont mind.

I nodded and headed to my closet from where I took out a towel and some clean cloths, then went to the bathroom. Ididnt take long, I had become fast at showering. Sometimes, if I wanted to relax, I would fill the tub with hot water

and spend an hour in it.

But I had no time for that right now. Phnix was waiting for me.

Perfeclty clean and positively worried, I joined Phnix in the kitchen, who had prepared dinner for the both of us,though it was only six in the afternoon. He had prepared a salad and some cheese sandwiches, with fresh juice.

Why did you do that? You didnt have to make anyhing for me, I assured him, though my stomach curled around at

the smell of swiss cheese. I loved swiss cheese.

He looked at me with an apologetic face. Sorry, I was just hungry and I figured you might want to eat as well. Is thatokay, or should I put everything back in the fridge?

My eyes widened. No, I just didnt want you to feel like you had to make some for me as well. I dont mind you eating

here, I just dont have dinner until two hours.

Oh. Sorry, Ill put it back

No, no, its fine, I interrupted him, and then smiled reassuringly. I actually adore swiss cheese, I can never resist it.It always makes me hungry. And since you have proven yourself a great chef, I absolutetly cant say no to that.

He smiled for a small second then recomposed his expression.

Well, come on then, he said as he gestured toward the chair in front of him, and sat down at the other one.

Thank you, I consented as I sat down as well.

After just one bite of the first sandwich I took, I was melting from its great taste. It wasnt long before I finished it andtook another one.

This is really good, I said, emphasising the really.

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Thank you, he replied.

Dinner was quiet, we didnt talk while we eated. Instead, we both waited till the sandwiches were all done, all five ofthem, and the small bowl of salad was just a bowl again. When we were done, I looked at him with a questionning

gaze.

Are you waiting for me to begin? Phnix asked.

I smiled and nodded. Unless you want me to start?

No, I dont mind. I just I dont know where to begin.

Well, tell me what you have been doing since three weeks, I proposed.

Right. Well, after I left your place, I came right back to the orphanage. I havent been doing really exciting stuff, Ivejust been thinking a lot. About what you told me. And, to tell you the truth, Im not really sure what to do.

I listened carefully, and felt relieved that he hadnt made up his mind yet.

What have you been thinking about? I asked.

Mostly, I was arguing with myself, using the reason you gave me, not to agree. I really had no idea if I could trust you,you were right, and I didnt know how much time I could spend with you, and if it would be a bad idea. But my otherside didnt feel any threat, and kept insisting that I should do this. I was having this internal fight for more than a week,

and I was still lost between the two sides. Then I started thinking that this argument was heading nowhere, because theside of me that wanted to agree was stronger even though it had no convincing reasons. I had no idea why that part was

winnig since clearly, the other side was the one who was right. I tried to find out why I wanted to do this with you sobadly, and I couldnt come up with anything. And then, just yesterday, I understood it all. I remembered at first whatyou had offered me and several reasons appeared to me as to why I wanted very much to agree. The first one was theeasiest one to realise; by adopting me, I would have a family again, even if it meant that we may have to not stay that

way if you didnt want to proceed on Solcis with me, but we would still be legally a family. And since I had lost myonly family, I had wanted to have another one again. The second reason I understood was the hardest for me to admit,

because, as much as a stranger you were to me, I really felt like Ive known you for a vey long time. I dont know why Ifeel this, but I already consider you like my best friend, and you are bound to trust your friends.

So he had felt it, too? The strange connection we shared from the very first words we had communicated to each other?

I didnt understand how it was possible, but I felt like I knew this kid, from the inside out. I knew when he was tryingto distract me, I understood what would hurt him and tried to avoid it, I knew what would make him laugh and what

would make him sad. And from what I rememebered of the first and last time we had spoken, he understood me aswell, even more than I understood myself. So how come we couldnt understand why we felt this way?

And the third reason, which was the one that was causing my agreeing side to win, was that I really wanted to find my

mom. I have been dreaming about reuniting with her since I started asking question about her when I was only 5 yearsold. I wanted to find her so bad that I had convinced myself unconsiously that I wouldnt care to journey with a

murderer in the process. I just want to find her.

Phnix long speech ended with that. I had listened carefully and understood everything he had explained. He waswilling enough to go with me. Though he wasnt absolutely, one hundred per cent sure that it was a good idea, the part

of him that wanted to be with his mother again silenced the part that said it was a dangerous trip. In the end, he had lethis emotional side win over his rational side.

But now that he put it that way, it was me who was having second thoughts about it. Was I really capable of not

harming him if I wanted to?

Hmm I mused.

Well? he asked impatiently. I told you my side, now tell me yours.

Alright. Well, the first thing I did was find distracions, right after I quit my job. I wasnt sure what to do, but I had tofind something that would allow me to spend some time alone so I could think more clearly. I didnt think you would

take so long to find your answer, so after a week, I started getting anxious, and I began to plan what I would do if you

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didnt agree. I had remembered a couple of other spells and I was hoping I would remember more. But nothing I ever

did reminded me of anything. I didnt understand what it was that triggered the other memories I had, and after a lot ofconsiderations, I realised that you had helped me the most with that, and I started being impatient to why you hadnt

come to me yet. I waited, but I was very tensed. As much as I was convinced that I would still go even if you refused, Ididnt think that option was going to happen, I didnt believe it. I sort of kept hoping and wishing you would agree, so

much that I believed you would, and ruled out every other possibility. But I didnt stop worrying that you wouldsomehow say no, and that part kept me worried the whole time. I still dont know if you agree and that makes me even

more nervous. So will you please ease up on me and tell me what you decided? I almost begged.

I told you, I dont know what to do either. Im confused. The biggest part of me wants to say yes, but the small,rational, smart part of me is bugging me with the big no, its dangerous, and Im just puzzled, he replied with a soft

pleading tone.

We stared into each others blue eyes, each one more perplexed than the other. It seemed the decision was harder thanwe thought it would be. How to decide? Both of us were torn between accepting and refusing, to each their ownreasons to agree, but both with the same reasons of backing away.

If only there was some way to see the future, I wished, then we would know for sure if this is going to bedangerous.

The future is unpredictable, Phnix pointed out.

I know, I just wish it wasnt. I just wish there was something to guarantee that I wont harm you in any way.

We sighed at the same time, wich made us laugh low laughs. That seemed to ease up some of the tension, and I was

able to try and think of a way to fix the situation.

What if we did it anyway? The worst that could happen would be me trying to kill Phnix. Wasnt there a way toprevent this? He was stronger than me after all - at least, so far, he appeared to be. Wouldnt he be able to run? Orwould I be stronger than him and catch him?

No, I couldnt let myself think that way. I was notgoing to so much as scratch him, no matter what, I had vowed tomyself, and I would keep my promise. Even if I had to harm myself to keep from harming him. I wouldnt do it. Thatwas the only thing that could comfort me.

I sighed again. All I give you right now is that I swear to hurt myself before I hurt you. I cant say anything else withany more certainty than this. But I dont know if it would be enough. I cant trust myself because I dont know myself.

He looked at me with his head leaning to one side, seeming as pained by the unknown as I was.

Why dont we go back a little? he suggested.

I didnt understand and frowned. He immediately recognised the confusion on my face and explained.

I mean let us remember all the motives that led us to this, and see if it convinces us to go through with this, he

clarified.

Ah. Okay, I agreed. Er, I guess we started out where you suggested that I should prove I was innocent, I started.

And I vowed to help you prove that, he finished, a hint of a smile pulling up at his lips. And you snapped a militarysalute, he giggled.

I joined him and laughed at the happy memory.

And you said you wanted to find your mom, I continued seriously.

Phnix pursed his lips. I really think I would be willing to travel with a murderer to find her.

I sighed yet again. I know that, but I dont know ifIm willing to let you. I know I want to regain my memory and Iknow I cant do it alone, but I cant risk putting you in danger, if I was really a danger.

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He almost smiled. Well, I dont know if you remember as well as I do, but I distinctly recall me explaining to you why

I thought you were innocent.

I tried to remember what he had said, and it all came back to me. Yes, I remember, I said with a brighter tone, myface lighting up. You said that personnality was in the genes and that nothing would change it. So if I dont have any

intention to hurt you right now then I never did harm anybody.

He flashed his wicked smile at me, looking pleased that he finally found something to support the part of tus thatwanted to go to Solcis together. I felt better as well.

So is that enough for us to consider the idea? he asked, hopeful.

I pursed my lips. Maybe it was a good enough motive, it meant something bigger than just instincts of danger. Genes

and biology was something easily relied on with certainty, but a feeling of risk might be wrong.

I guess it is good enough, its probaly better to use this reason to go on with the plan than the one where you dont careif you travel with a criminal, I smiled a little bit at that.

He giggled, amused. Yeah, my argument was probably as bad as a burned turkey on Thanksgiving.

I burst out in laughter, faking it just a little bit too much. Once again, he saw right through me.

You have no idea what Thanksgiving is, do you? he teased, his wicked smile lighting up his face.

Nope, not a clue. But it sounded funny the way you said it. I laughed again, this time at my stupidity, and he laughed

with me.

What have you remembered so far? he asked, changing the subject.

I glared at him, realising what he was trying to diverte me from the main point. Im going to let myself be distractedby your question this time, but only because I really want you to know the answer.

His lips pulled up in a half smile. Whatever you say.

I rolled her eyes, but went on anyway. I remember going to school on Solcis and doing magic, that was the first

memory I had. Then I recalled catching you spying on me

He held up his hands, interrupting me. I was not spying, I was just checking who you were! he defended himself.

I grinned. I know. Dont sweat it, I was just kidding. Her grin turned kind. Next, I remembered two other spells,coactare and colore. And that was the last memory I had.

Wow. Most of the time, I was with you when you remembered.

Yeah. I told you, I think youre some sort of activation key to it. Maybe its because youre a magical person, too, I

dont know. But youe certainly a lot more helpful than Johnny or Jamie or any other place or person so calledfamiliarto me.

I couldnt help making a face at the word familiar. It sounded so meaningless in my case; nothing was familiar to me.

Phnix whole face light up. Hey, I just had an idea! he almost yelled.

My stomach spun weirdly inside me. What? I exclaimed.

You seem convinced that I could help you regain your memory. What if we could try to do that, and according to whatyour memories are, we would decide what kind of person you are and choose to go to Solcis together or not? Andmaybe if I teach you magic, that would help you even more?

Aha! A very reasonable and convincing argument. Great! I love that plan, I aproved.

Phnix clapped his hands triumphly, and jumped off his seat. I just couldnt resist laughing.

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Calm down, were not done. We still need a pretty convincing alliby as to why you would be visiting me so much,

she reminded him. And I wont let you just keep sneaking out, no, were not lying about that anymore, I added fastlywhen he opened his mouth to protest.

His jaw locked back on the upper part of his mouth. Okay, what do we say, then? he asked.

I smiled. I already knew the answer; I had been hoping for it from the very first moment he suggested it.

How about I adopt you? I said as casually as possible, though my heart was hammering very fast at the excitement.

His eyes popped out and his mouth hung open for a good thirty seconds before he jumped at my neck and hugged meso tightly that I suffocated. I put both her arms around him, one comforting, the other trying to pull him away.

Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you he chanted.

Cant breath I gasped.

He immediately retreated, the happiest expression in the world on his face. His joy was so big, he couldnt stop himselffrom swaying back and forth, left to right, drawing circles with his waist, with his hands locked tightly together behindhis back. And I couldnt help bursting out in laughter at his pleasure.

Its a good thing youre happy about it, I pronounced between two giggles.

Oh Im not happy, he objected. Happy is a very small word compared to what Im feeling right now. Im inecstasy! he announced, swinging his arms around him as he said it.

I felt as happy as he was, his ecstasy reflected in me.

A low tap on the door made them both jump. Who could it have been? I wasnt expecting someone to visit. I didntknow anyone to exchange visits with. And that was when I remembered that I wasnt the only person who lived in theappartment.

Shoot, Jamie, I told him in a whisper as the tapping got louder. Coming, I called, staring at him, waiting for him tocome up with a plan.

Its okay, let her in, he mouthed.

Unsure, I stood up and opened the door right behind me, revealing Jamie behind it. As soon as she saw the company Iwas having, she scowled.

Hi Aurea, she greeted me. Whats going on here?

I turned my gaze at Phnix for help; I didnt know how to lie. His response surprised her; he smiled at Jamie the most

polite smile.

Hi miss Darling. I assume Aurea hasnt told you the good news yet?

Jamie looked at me, confused. What good news?

He looked at me to proceed, but I hadnt understood where he was going with this. So he continued slowly.

Were going to become a family, he announced proudly.

And that was when it clicked. It was okay to tell Jamie I was planning to adopt Phnix, so long as she didnt know thereal reason why.

What do you mean? Jamie asked, still not getting it.

It was me who answered this time. Im going to adopt Phnix, I declared, smiling.

Jamies eyes opened wide with surprise, and it showed it was a good news to her as well.

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Really? she squealed, showing her teeth through her smile.

Phnix and I nodded at the same time, both sharing the same joy and excitement. Jamie squeacked cheerfully and

went over to hug both of us with her two arms, congratulating us.

I felt weird at that moment. It was almost delight. Delight at becoming a new mom. It was a really good feeling, andit was even better that I was going to become Phnix mom; somehow that made it even greater. But the reason was -

like most things about my life so far - unknown.

Phnix made his way out of Jamies not-so-comfortable embrace, still giggling, hugged me goodbye and left back tothe orphanage. I was still smiling when I turned back to Jamie, and I didnt realise at first that she was frowning. Jamiewas rearranging the dishes, her back towards me.

When I did see her, I was worried. She looked like she was deep in thinking, concentrating on a certain idea thatseemed unpleasant.

Whats wrong Jamie? I asked her.

The childish features took over her expressions, and she looked innocently at me. It was only those features on her facethat confirmed to me that she was younger than me. She always looked like an adult in her mid thirties more than onewho was 21.

Oh nothings wrong Aurea, really, she assured me.

I took it she meant that litterly; Jamie was never a good liar, and she always chose her words in a way that they were

true to her. So that meant nothing was wrong, just that something was bothering her.

Is there something bothering you? I tried again.

No, she replied, but this time I detected her lie.

Jamie, I know youre lying. Just tell me whats on your mind.

With a resigned sigh, she gave up hiding whatever she was hiding from me.

Youre my friend Aurea. I care very much about you. You know that, right?

My eyes widened. Of course Jamie. I care about you, too, I promised her.

Well, I was just wondering if... you know... you were making a mistake adopting Phnix when youre alone like that.You know that my parents adopted me when I was 6 and they kept complaining about me not being good enough until Ifinally ran away two years ago.

Oh.

I couldnt help feeling pity towards her. I hadnt known that. Or maybe I had and just didnt remember. I still didntunderstand what was worrying her though.

It wasnt until a moment or two that it sank in.

Oh no, you think I will treat Phnix like your parents I trailed off.

By the look on her face, I knew this was it.

Oh, no Jamie, dont worry. I wont. I I wasnt sure at first of the decicison, I had asked him to think about it firstbecause I wanted him to chose, and I actually really care about him Jamie. I took it very seriously when the ideaoccurred to me. I do want a very good relationship with him.

I wasnt doubting that I just meant that I want to make sure youre sure about that, she hardly said. When Iran away, my sister was the only one that kept contact with me. My parents still know where I live and they never paidme any visit or said they were sorry or that they wanted me back home or anything, and Ive had a terrible idea of them

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since then. I just I dont want you to mess it up so that

the innocent and the orphan

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