‘IhaveenjoyedMichaelNeill’sworkformanyyearsandbenefitedfromitinmyownlife.InTheInside-OutRevolution,heoffersabrilliantapproachforcreatingmorepeaceofmindwhilekeepingyouredge in today’sbusyworld.Don’t just read this book – let it pour into your consciousness andrevolutionizeyourlife!’

PAULMCKENNA,INTERNATIONALBESTSELLINGAUTHOROFCHANGEYOURLIFEIN7DAYSANDICANMAKEYOUTHIN

‘Ididnotexpecttoreadthisinonesitting,butonceIstartedIcouldn’tstop.The Inside-Out Revolution encompasses the beauty andwisdom of the ages,delivered in a way that makes it extremely relevant to today’s challenges.MichaelNeillwritesnotasaguruoranexpert,butasafriendwhohasfoundthewayhomeandiseagertosharethepathwiththereader.Ifyoucouldonlyreadonebookinyourlifetime,I’drecommendthisone.’

SHAMAKABANI,CEOOFTHEMARKETINGZENGROUP

‘TheInside-OutRevolutionisapowerfulnewwaytowakeourselvesupoutofthetranceoflife.Destinedtobeapractical,spiritualclassic,thisbookshowsyouexactlyhowyourthoughtscreateyourreality.’

GAYHENDRICKS,PH.D.,NEWYORKTIMESBESTSELLINGAUTHOROFCONSCIOUSLOVINGANDTHETENZINGNORBUMYSTERIES

‘Trulyrevolutionary–themostprofoundandlife-changingmessageyouwillever read. This is a book you’ll pick up time and again – I’ve read it threetimes and am already recommending it to all the students I teach andindividualsIcoach.’

JANEHOLROYDMBE,VISITINGFELLOW,BOURNEMOUTHUNIVERSITY

‘TheInside-OutRevolutionissimplyabeautifulpresentationoftheonlythingyouneedtoknowforwell-beingandhappiness.Writtenfrompersonalinsightsand real-life examples, Michael Neill makes it easy to grasp the innateprinciples that create our feelings and experience. I highly recommend thisbooktoanyonewantingtruewisdom.’

MARKHOWARD,PH.D.,CLINICALPSYCHOLOGIST,THREEPRINCIPLESINSTITUTE

‘I love thisbook!WhatMichaelNeill shares soeloquently isat theheartofwhat Richard and I learned, taught, and wrote about throughout our livestogether–atrueunderstandingofmentalhealthandhowtoaccessitquicklyandeffectivelyforabetterlife.’

KRISTINECARLSON,CO-AUTHORWITHRICHARDCARLSONTOTHENEWYORKTIMESBESTSELLINGDON’TSWEATTHESMALLSTUFFBOOKSERIES

‘One day, every schoolwill have a class on teaching childrenhow to think.MichaelNeill’sbrilliantnewbookTheInside-OutRevolutionwillbeboth thehandbookthatteachersreadforprepandtheprimerfortheclass.’

ROBERTHOLDENPH.D.,BESTSELLINGAUTHOROFSHIFTHAPPENS!ANDLOVEABILITY

‘Camera,sound,ACTION!Michael’snewbookhasthoughtfulandpractical“rubber-to-the-road” steps to clear your mind and to actually start living asimpleandmorerelaxedlife.’

ANDREWLITVIN,OSCARANDBAFTAAWARD-WINNINGLINEPRODUCERANDPRODUCEROFGINGER&ROSA

‘In The Inside-Out Revolution,Michael Neill has beautifully captured theessenceof the threeuniversalprinciplesat the sourceofhumanexperience.Thisbookwillbeapowerfulchangeagentincreatingamoregentle, loving,creative,productive,andpeacefulworld.’

DR.WILLIAMF.PETTITJR.,FORMERASSOCIATEPROFESSOROFPSYCHIATRY,UNIVERSITYOFWESTVIRGINIA

‘MichaelNeillhastheraregiftofenablingpeople tomaketangiblechangeswithouthardworkorstruggle.InTheInside-OutRevolution,heoffersaclear,practicalwayofunderstandinglifetocreateamorepeacefulandfluidwayofliving.’

SHAAWASMUND,FOUNDEROFSMARTA.COMANDNO.1BESTSELLINGAUTHOROFSTOPTALKING,STARTDOING

‘Living from the inside-out isn’t just a revolutionary concept – it’s a truthabout the way life works. If you’ve spent your life looking for answers, getready for amiracle – this book provides the one answer in life that’s beenlookingforyou.Sitback,takeyourtime,andabsorb.’

GARRETKRAMER,AUTHOROFSTILLPOWER:EXCELLENCEWITHEASEINSPORTSANDLIFE

‘Michael Neill’s authentic, conversational style profoundly and simplydescribes a quiet revolution happening in psychology that recognizes thehumanexperienceiscreatedfromtheinsideout.TheInside-OutRevolutionisagreatbook–excellent,articulate,andanaptharbingeroftheparadigmaticshiftthatistocome.’

JOSEPHBAILEY,LICENSEDPSYCHOLOGISTANDINTERNATIONALBESTSELLINGAUTHOROFSLOWINGDOWNTOTHESPEEDOFLIFE,CO-AUTHOREDBYDR.RICHARDCARLSON

‘IcriedthefirsttimeIreadTheInside-OutRevolutionandthenIreaditagainandmadenotesoneverypage.Ifyouhaveeyes toseeandears tohear, thisbookwillsetyoufree.’

STEVEHARDISON,WWW.THEULTIMATECOACH.COM

‘Michael Neill’s new book elegantly translates his deep, compellingunderstanding of the human condition into an inspirational, high-impactteaching.Thisbookisaninvitationtoexperienceaclaritythatwilltransformyourlifeforever!’

DR.THOMASGARTENMANN,MANAGINGDIRECTOR,MANRESAG-LEADINGTRANSFORMATION,ZURICH-COLOGNE

‘Michaelhasauniquegift formaking the impossiblycomplicated incrediblysimple–histeachingislikeaforceofnaturewithasimplegraceandflowthatpacks incredible power for those who let it into their lives. The Inside-OutRevolutionisnotjustanewbook,it’sanewwayoflivingthatwilltransformthequalityofyourlifefaster,easier,andmuchmoregentlythanyouthink.’

ALICAMPBELL,BESTSELLINGAUTHORANDCELEBRITYLIFECOACH

‘MichaelNeillhasdoneitagain–here’sablueprintforatrulywonderfullife,based on a new way of looking, knowing, and being. The Inside-OutRevolution is a brave and compelling perspective, easily understood andimplemented.Gobeyond techniquesandstrategies,andwatchwhatchangesforyouwhenyouexperiencelifefromtheinsideout.Highlyrecommended.’

CHRISWESTFALL,NATIONALELEVATORPITCHCHAMPION(USA)ANDAUTHOROF

THENEWELEVATORPITCH

‘Rarelydoesabookmake suchapoeticandexciting seriesofpromisesandthendeliveronallofthem.Thisonedoes,anditwillchangelives.’

STEVECHANDLER,AUTHOROFTIMEWARRIORAND100WAYSTOMOTIVATEYOURSELF

‘WhenMichaelNeill and I first had a conversation about the principles hesharesinthisbook,theyseemedtoosimpletomakeabigdifference.Butthemore I explored them, themore I realized that their very simplicitywas thesourceoftheirpower.WhenyoureadTheInside-OutRevolution,Michaelhasthatconversationwithyou.Getready todiscoveraplaceofprofoundpeace:youruniquesourceofguidance,life-changinginsights,andcreativesolutions.Highlyrecommended!’

JAMIESMART,AUTHOROFCLARITY:CLEARMIND,BETTERPERFORMANCE,BIGGERRESULTS

‘This isnotabookaboutdoing;it isabookaboutbeing.Anditdoesn’t justtalkabouttransformation–ittransformsyouasyoureadit.Ifeltthingsthathadbeenbigissuessimplybecomelaughable,andfoundmyselfgrowingmorepeaceful,happy,andjoyfulwitheverychapter!’

STEVERROBBINS,CO-FOUNDEROFFTPSOFTWAREANDHOSTOFNO.1ITUNESBUSINESSPODCASTTHEGET-IT-DONEGUY

‘I have used the principles in The Inside-Out Revolution to run twointernational consultancies and have taught them to Generals, CEO’s, andnumerousFortune500companies.MichaelNeill’snewbookintroducestheseprinciples in a wonderfully simple and relevant way while using them toprovide a powerful new foundation for coaching, self-development and thepursuitofhappiness.Allthatandanenjoyablereadaswell.’

AARONTURNER,PH.D.,CO-FOUNDER/SENIORPARTNERTURNERGLEASON

‘Inmywork inhospitals,Iwitnesspeoplesufferingandinpaineverysingleday.As I readThe Inside-OutRevolution,I could clearly seehowan end tohumansufferingispossible,notbychangingtheworldbutthroughadeeperunderstandingofourselves.Thisisthefirstandlastbookyouwilleverneedtoreadtounderstandhowtoliveahappy,inspiredlove-filledlife.’

FIONAJACOB,DIRECTOROFNURSING,KINGABDULAZIZMEDICALCITY,RIYADH

‘This book has the power to create miracles in our lives as we come torecognizeourtrueinnermajestyandreleaseourincrediblepowertoshapeourworld.’

DAVIDR.HAMILTONPH.D.,AUTHOROFISYOURLIFEMAPPEDOUT?ANDHOWYOURMINDCANHEALYOURBODY

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ToNina,foreverythingandalways

‘Iftheonlythingpeoplelearnedwasnottobeafraidoftheirexperience,that

alonewouldchangetheworld.’

SYDBANKS

CONTENTS

ForewordbyDr.GeorgePransky

Introduction:APersonalRevolution

Part1:ShiftingtheFoundations

Chapter1:TheTransformativeConversation

Chapter2:FirstPrinciples

Chapter3:TheOnlyThingYouNeedtoKnow

Part2:ExpandingPossibilities

Chapter4:AFormulaforMiracles

Chapter5:OriginalGrace

Chapter6:TheValueofanEmptyMind

Part3:LivingtheDream

Chapter7:LearningHowtoThrive

Chapter8:TheParadoxofResults

Chapter9:BeyondEmpowerment

Epilogue:TheLifeCoachandtheMightyTree

Resources

Acknowledgments

AbouttheAuthor

JointheHayHouseFamily

FOREWORD

Thirtyyearsago,ImetamannamedSydneyBanksandbecametheco-founderof a newparadigm inpsychology that has sincequietly spread throughout theworld. Up to now this approach, as life-changing as it has been, has been anextremelywell-keptsecret.Inthisnewbook,MichaelNeillbringstheprinciplesbehindthisfieldintothemainstreamsothatpeoplecanlearntotakeadvantageof this radical new understanding in their own lives. His target audience:anybody,nomatterwhattheirwalkinlifeandnomatterhowhappyortroubledthey are right now. It’s simply a ‘good-for-what-ails-you’ book in terms ofinternalwell-beingandeffectiveperformance.

Everyonefeelslimitedandconstrictedbynegativefeelingstatesmorethantheywouldliketobe.Weallvisit,andattimesseemtolivein,unwantedfeelingsofstress and distress that cast the die regarding our enjoyment of life, ourperformance on the job, and the quality of our relationships. Any good salesmanagerwill tell you that thenumberoneobstacle to salesperformance is anongoingfeelingofdiscouragement;anyexperiencedtherapistwillpointoutthatfeelings of hopelessness sap people’s energy, undermine their judgment, andleadtothedownwardspiralofdepression.Itshouldresonateasself-evidentthatchronicnegativefeelingstatesrestrictthehumanpotential.

But theopposite isalsotrue.Everyoneexperiencestimesofmentalclarityandwell-being,evenmomentsofoutandoutgenius.Evenintheextremesofmentalillness, every single patient has moments of ‘normalcy’ independent of theseverityof theirdisorder.Atamorepersonal level,wehaveall comeupwithinspirationsandsolutionsthatseemtohaveshownupoutofnowheretosavetheday.Attimes,ourchildren’swisdomgoeswaybeyondtheirlevelofeducationand life experience.Andwe consistently see high levels ofwell-being, grace,andhopefulnessemerge in timesofcrisis suchas floodsandearthquakes, andevenwithpeopleinformedofterminalillnesses.Soitshouldbeequallyobviousthat the human potential for life enjoyment, mental clarity, creativity, andrelationship satisfaction is considerably higher thanwe aremanifesting in our

everydaylives.Whatthatpotentialis,whereitcomesfrom,andhowtotapintoitarethequestionsMichaelNeillanswersinthisbook.

Thecurrentthinkingoffersalaundrylistofexplanationsforwhypeoplefeelandbehavethewaytheydo,rangingfromgeneticsandfamilyoforiginconditioningtochildhoodtrauma,challenginglifecircumstances,andeventheweather.Eachoftheseexplanationsisplaguedbyexceptionsandanomalies,and,perhapsmoreimportantly, none of them significantly help people to improve their habitualpersonalfeelingstate,orleadtoconsistentimprovementsinbehavior.

By way of contrast, the principles Michael presents in this book provide anexplanation of the human experience and feeling states that is comprehensive,hasnoexceptions,andisextremelyusefultonearlyeveryonewholearnsaboutthem. You won’t find the principles he teaches here anywhere else inpsychology, themedia,or theself-helpworld.Infact, theonlypeoplewhoaresharingtheunderstandingthathepresentsheregotitfromthesamesource.Itissimplyanewandenlightenedunderstandingofwherehumanexperiencecomesfromandhowitcanbechangedforthebetterwithoutanytechniques,strategies,orprescribedbehaviors.

Thisalonewouldmakethisbookworthreading,nomatterhowitwasexpressed,but fortunately Michael is a very gifted writer. He writes in a veryconversational, personable tone, as if youwere sitting in his living room andlisteningtohimsharesomeideasandstories.AndIencourageyoutoreadthisbookinthatway.Don’ttrytoohardtounderstandeverythingfirsttimearound.Listentohismessagethewayyoumightlistentoapieceofmusic,enjoyingthethemeandlettingitwashoveryou.

I know first-hand that anybody who grasps the teachings in this book willexperience an immediate improvement in their level of well-being, no matterhowwell they’re feelingatpresent.Theywillperformbetter in their livesandappreciatethefruitsoftheirlabormorethantheyeverhavebefore.

Nomatterwhere you’re starting out, all boats risewith the tide, and a deeperunderstanding of the principles in this bookwill improve your life across theboard. You will think with more clarity, be more resilient (get over yourselffaster when you’re troubled), be significantly more creative, and be immunefromburnoutonagoforwardbasis.

I realize that these claimsmight seem like hyperbole, but in over 30 years ofteachingwhatMichaelissharinghere,Ihaveseentheseresultssoconsistentlythat Iamno longersurprisedoreven impressed. Inshort, thisbook is therealdeal.

GeorgePransky,Ph.D.LaConner,Washington

INTRODUCTION:APERSONALREVOLUTION

What if everything you’d ever learned about how reality worked was justwrong?

In 2007, I thought I was at the top of my game. My coaching practice wasthriving,Iwaswellrespectedinmyparticularfieldofappliedpsychology,myfirstbookhadbeenabestseller,andmysecondbookwasjustabouttocomeoutinAmerica.Mywife,Nina, and Iwere inour twentiethyear togetherandourthreekidswereeverythingwecouldhavehopedforandmore.

AbouttheonlydifficultyIhadinmylifewasthatNinaandIwereinthemiddleofanongoingdebateaboutwhetherornotweshouldmovetoanewhouse.Itwascertainlywhatmightbecalleda‘high-qualityproblem,’butthatdidn’tstopmefromcomplainingaboutittoanyonewhowouldlisten.

A friend of mine grew tired of my whining and sent me a copy of TheRelationshipHandbookbyDr.GeorgePransky,whichIfullyintendedtoignorecompletely. I’m not a fan of relationship books at the best of times, as I findthey’regenerallyfilledwithwonderfuladvicewhichworksgreatifyouhappento be the author. But I opened the book to read the first chapter and becamefascinated by Dr. Pransky’s descriptions of ‘high mood therapy’ and‘maintenance-freerelationships.’

By theendof theday I’d read thewholebookand resolved tobemoreopen-minded thenext timesomeonesuggested I readsomething thatmightbegoodforme.

I thought nomore about it untilmy friend askedhow thingswere goingwithNina.

Isaid,‘Whatdoyoumean?’

‘Well,howareyougettingon?’

‘Great.Whydoyouask?’

It took him a half-dozenmore questions before I remembered that less than aweekearlierwe’dbeeninthethickofoneoftheworstargumentswe’dhadinyears.Atthatmoment,Ifeltacoldshiverupthebackofmyspine.SomethinginthatbookhadledtoamnesiaaboutthebiggestproblemI’dthoughtIhad.Tomysurprise,evenafterIrememberedit,Icouldn’tgetworkedupaboutitanymore.Oddly,itseemedtostopbeingabigproblemforNinaaswell,withoutoureventalkingaboutit.Thehousesituationwoundupresolvingitselfinduecourse,andIwashooked.Ineededtolearnmore.

CURIOUSERANDCURIOUSER

When I went online to do some research about the basis for the book, I wasamazedtofindscatteredartifactsofafieldofpsychologythatwasnewtome.Ithadbegunappearing in the literature in the late1970sunderaneclectic setofnames, ranging from ‘Psychology of Mind’ to ‘Health Realization’ to ‘TheThree Principles.’ Richard Carlson, author of the bestsellingDon’t Sweat theSmallStuffseries,hadbeenbyfaritsmostfamouspractitioner,butasfarasIcouldtellhe’ddriftedawayfromthecommunityaroundthetimehe’dstartedtobecomesuccessful.

AsIlookedintoitmoredeeply,IdiscoveredthattheprimaryinfluencebehindthefieldwasaScottishweldernamedSydBanks,whohadhadanenlightenmentexperienceandbeentransformedfromanuneducatedworkerinaCanadianpulpmillintoaworld-renownedguruandteacher.EveryoneIspokewithinthefieldhad a story about how meeting Syd or reading his books had been atransformativemomentintheirlife,andIgrewmoreandmoreintriguedbythefact that despite nearly 20 years of studying psychology and personaldevelopment,I’dneverheardofhimorthefieldshe’dinspired.

Tomakemattersevenmoreconfusing,eachpersonIspokewithconfided thattherewas no ‘technique’ behind their transformation – you simply listened toSydoroneofthepeopletrainedinhisworkspeakaboutthreesimpleprinciples,andatsomepointatransformationhappenedandyourlifewasneverthesameagain.

The list of claims made by practitioners in the field beggared belief. Formergang members became positive role models within their communities.Alcoholics kicked their addiction without years of struggle or therapy. Twohousing projectswith the highestmurder rates inAmerica became crime freewithinthreeyearsoftheresidentsbeingexposedtotheseprinciples.

I spokewith a CEOwho had taken his company frommillions to billions ofdollarsinrevenuebyteachingtheinside-outunderstandingtohisworkforceandletting the numbers take care of themselves.And unlike the ‘experts’ inmostother fields of psychology I’d come across, nearly everyone I met with washappily married, had good relationships with their children, and was stillinspiredbytheirworkaftermorethan30yearsinthefield.

IdecidedthatIneededtoabandonobjectivityandflewouttoasmalltownneartheCanadianbordertoexplorethisapproachformyself.

WhatIexperiencedthereturnedmylifeinsideout,mycareerupside-down,andchanged theway I saw theworld.And itallcameaboutnot throughaspecialtechnique or magic pill, but simply through participating in a very particularkindofconversation.ThatconversationisnowthebasisofalltheworkIdowithmyclients,andit’stheconversationthatyouandIwillbehavingtogetheroverthecourseofthisbook.

APREVIEWOFCOMINGATTRACTIONS

Duringourtimetogether,I’llbesharinganewunderstandingthatturnsmostofpsychology on its head. By recognizing three fundamental principles at playbehind every human experience, it becomes possible to tap into a deeperintelligencebehindlifethatinformsourmentalhealth,suppliesuswithongoingwisdomandguidance, andallowsus tounleash incrediblecreativepower intotheworld.We’lllookatmakingareturnto‘originalgrace,’andexplorehowtheinside-out understanding allows us to handle life’s challenges with ease andpower,playthegameoflifefulloutandfearless,andgobeyondempowermenttofindourplaceinthelargerunfoldingoftheworld.

Since stumbling across this revolutionary new understanding in my own life,I’ve introduced it to thousands of people around the world and personallycoachedhundreds toshift their foundations, learnhowto thrive,and livefromthe inside out. My clients and students have made positive and sometimesdramaticchangesintheirrelationships,finances,mentalandphysicalhealth,andwell-being. They’ve become happier, more secure in themselves, and morecompassionatewithothers.

Butmanyofthemhavealsocomefacetofacewithchallengingcircumstances.Some of them have lost their jobs, gone bankrupt, become ill, and dealtwithfamily crises that bring tears to my eyes just thinking about them. Almostwithout fail, they’ve founddeep reservesof resilience and creativity that haveallowed them to handle these difficult circumstanceswith a level of ease andgracetheywouldpreviouslyneverhaveimaginedpossible.

If you were to talk with them, you’d find them to be as different from oneanotheraspeoplecanbe–maleandfemale,youngandold,richandpoor.Butfromthetimetheyhadtheinside-outunderstandingforthemselves,chancesareyou’d notice two things they all had in common: a twinkle in their eye and alovelyfeelingintheirpresence.

Some people describe this transformative shift asmoving from riding a rollercoastertofloatinginariver;othersasthegiftofmeetingthemselvesforthefirsttime.‘It’sasifI’vebeenpluggedbackintothemains,’oneclientsaidtome.Byfar the most common description is some variation on the feeling of cominghomeafteralongtimeaway.Whileyourexperiencewillbeuniquetoyou,theawakeningofyourinnersparkandafeelingofreconnectionwiththeenergyof

lifearepartofthepromiseandpurposeofourtimetogether.

WhilethenatureofabookisthatI’llbedoingmostofthetalking,yourjobisequally important – to listen with an openmind, do your best to look in thedirectionI’mpointing,andabovealltostayintheconversationtotheveryend.Infact,theonlywayIknowforsomeonenottogetsomethingofvaluefromthisconversationistodropoutofitbeforethey’veseenwhatthereistoseeontheothersideoftherainbow.

Therearenotechniquesanywhereinthisbook–there’snothingforyoutolearn,remember, practice, or do. I’m simply going to point us toward somefundamentaltruthsaboutlifeandwe’llseewhatwecansee.Sometimesitmayfeelasthoughwe’regettingnowhere,orevengoingbackward.Othertimesnewinsightswillbecomingthroughyousoquicklythatyoumaystruggletokeepup.

Butifyoukeepreadingwithanopenmindandahopefulheart,Ipromiseyouthatyourlifewillnotonlychangeforthebetter,itwillalsobegintoimpactthelivesofthosearoundyouinwaysthatyoucanonlynowimagine.

Here’sa letter I received fromayoungwomanwhoparticipated inmyLivingfrom the Inside Out online program at a time when her life circumstancescouldn’thavebeenmuchworse:

‘WhenIfirstlearnedabouttheprinciplesbehindtheinside-outunderstanding,IwaslookingintowaysofhowIcouldgoaboutendingmylife.Withinjustafewshortdays,throughyourteaching,Ihadgainedsomuchclarityandpeace.InspirationcametomeandwhereIthoughtthatIwouldneverexperiencefeelingsofloveeveragain,mywholebeingbecamelove,andvibrant.

Ifindmyselflivinginastateoftranquility,despitesomequitedifficultcircumstances.Ifaceargumentswithgentlenessandgivemyrepliesdirectlyfrommyinnersenseofwell-being.BecauseIamnolongertrappedinmyownthinking,Icanlookinsideotherpeopleandseehowthey’refeeling.It’salmostasifthishasopenedupsomekindofsixthsense.

Iseetheworldwithrenewedsight,notalldayeveryday,butalmost.

Andbestofall,thesesimpleideashaveallowedmetotapintowhoI

reallyam,sothatnomatterwhathappensaroundme,Ialwayshavethatsecurityandsenseoffreedom.Itmaywaverattimesbutitalwayscomesback.AndIamapersonwhonolongerlooksintowaysofhowIcanendmylife.’

Whatallowedher toexperience thatkindofclarity,peace,andfreedomin themiddleofherworstnightmareiswhatwe’llbeexploringtogetherinthisbook.

Areyoureadytobegin?

1

THETRANSFORMATIVECONVERSATION

‘Wehavethemostwonderfuljobintheworld.Wefindpeopleinvariousstagesofsleep.Andthenwegettotapthemontheshoulderandbewiththem

astheywakeuptothefullmagnificenceoflife.’

SydBanks

Imaginethatamancomestoyouforcoaching.He’sabout toturn30andhe’sdecidedthatit’stimeto‘growup’andtakeoverthefamilycarpentrybusiness.Hewantsyoutoshareinnovativemarketingtechniques,workwithhimonhowtomakebetterpersonneldecisions,andcoachhimtoincorporatetechnologytobringthebusinessinto‘atleastthenewmillennium.’

But even as you’re speaking together, something’s bothering you about theconversation. He’s saying all the right things and seemswilling to do all theright things, and yet something still feels out of alignment. Following yourintuition,yougobackand review theclient intake formhe filledoutwhenhefirstcametoyou,andtoyoursurpriseyousee thathisnameisJesusandhe’sfromasmalltownintheGalileanregionofIsraelcalledNazareth.

Here’sthequestion:

Doyoureallywanttoworkwithhimonbecomingmoresuccessfulinhiscarpentrybusiness?

What if everyman,woman, and child youmeet has the seedswithin them to

becomewhotheytrulyare?

Whatifthatincludesyou?

GOINGDEEPER

Whenpeopleaskmetotellthemmoreaboutthetransformativeconversation,Itendtoexplainitlikethis:

‘It’sameaningfulconversationaboutthenatureofthehumanexperience.’

Whenwe look to the ‘nature’ of something, we’re looking to see it not as itappears through our own eyes but as it is before being seen. Or, to put it inconsiderably simpler terms, we’re looking to see the truth of it, even as werecognize the inevitability of distorting that truth the moment we attempt todescribeitinwords.Andthedeeperwelookinthedirectionofthetruthbehindthehumanexperience,themorewe’relikelytosee.

Weseemtohaveaninnatedesiretoknowourselvesatdeeperanddeeperlevels.Formost of us, this journeybeginswith an explorationof our own individualpsychology. This kind of self-analysis can reveal an extraordinary amount ofdataanddistinctions,aswediscoverwe’reintrovertedorextroverted,havehighorlowself-esteem,andaremoreorlesshonestwithourselvesthanwe’dhopedorfeared.

But self-awareness can quickly turn to self-consciousness, as each newobservation is coupledwith a judgment and an attempt to fix our ‘faults’ andimprove our ‘virtues.’ Before long, we become hopelessly entangled in astruggle against our own psyche, spending countless hours and endless efforttryingto‘becomethepersonwethinkweoughttobe.’

Bywayofcontrast,whenwelookawayfromourownuniquepeccadilloesandconsider the nature of the human experience, we discover a very interestingthing: thatmostofwhatwethoughtwaswrongwithus issimplyapartof thehumancondition.

Everybodyhasmoods.Everybodydoesthingsthatseemlikeagoodideaatthetimeandthenregretsthemlater.Everybodyfailsatsomethingsandsucceedsatothers,and theratio isusuallymoreafunctionofwhat theychoose toattemptthananypersonalgeniusorlackofpotential.

Whenwestopasking,‘What’s trueaboutme?’andbeginasking,‘What’s trueabout human beings in general?’ we discover things about our incredible

capacity for resilience, creativity andhope.People are amazing– a fact that’smucheasiertoseewhenwearen’tlookingat‘them’insomekindofjudgmentalcomparisonwith‘us.’

Thehumanexperience is thatwhich is true for all humanbeings.So,when Ispeakwithpeople,webeginbyhavingaconversationaboutsomeaspectoftheirlife–money,career,performance,relationships,etc.–anditinevitablyevolvesinto a conversation about the nature of life in general.And as a result of thatconversation,theirlivestransform.

NowIknowthatsoundslikeabigpromisetomake,butI’veseenithappensomany times that I no longer shy away from saying it. When people seesomethingfundamentalaboutthenatureoftheirexperience,theirrelationshiptothat experience shifts. And as a result of that shift, life begins to change,seeminglywithouteffort–allbyitself.

ELEMENTSOFTRANSFORMATION

There are two elements that always seem to be present in any genuinelytransformative conversation. The first is what I would call ‘a deeper feeling.’Describingwhat exactly this is like has been both the inspiration and bane ofeveryspiritualteacherthroughouttheages.Iimagineit’sliketryingtodescribeasunsettoablindperson–youcanbeaccuratedowntothetiniestdetail,butnomatterhowcloseyouget,it’sstillamillionmilesawayfromtherealthing.Overtheyears,I’veheardtheworldofdeeperfeelinginsideuscalledeverythingfrom‘theunconditionedmind’to‘nirvana’to‘innatementalhealth’and‘innatewell-being.’Icallit‘thespacewheremiracleshappen.’AndI’vediscoveredthat,likemanythingsworthhaving,itseemstorunawaythemomentyoubeginchasingit.

It’snotthatitreallygoesanywhere;it’sjustthatwhenthethoughtsinourheadget revvedup, they seemsomuchmore important and real than somethingas‘trivial’asadeeperfeeling.ThishasbeentrueinmyownlifetothepointwhereattimesI’vechalkedallmyexperiencesofthatdeeperfeelinguptoimaginationandself-delusion.YetthemomentIdropbackintoit,Iknowtheexactoppositetobetrue.Mythoughtsareclearlytheimpostors,creatingtheillusionofrealityallaroundmewhilethetruthisrighthereinside.

In the transformativeconversation,weslowthingsdownenough tonotice thatthis world of deeper feeling is always available to us. It becomes both ourcompanionandourguide,keepinguswarminthemidstofcoldcircumstances,lending fire toourown inspiration, and lettingusknowwhenwe’reonorofftrackbyitspresenceorabsence.

The second thing that all truly transformative conversations seem to have incommonisthatinsteadoflookingatthedetailsofourlifetomakesenseofourexperience, they direct us inward toward the source and nature of thatexperience.

Bywayofexample,Ihadaconversationwithaclientrecentlywhowasgoingthroughadifficultdivorce.WhenIaskedherhowitwasallunfolding,shesaidthatdespiteadelayintheproceedings,thingshadbeen‘veryupanddown.’

I thenaskedherwhatshemadeof thefact thatherexperiencewasfluctuatingmuchmorequicklythanhercircumstanceswerechanging.

This led us into a beautiful exploration of how experience always followsthought,regardlessofwhat’sgoingonaroundus.Shegotquietand,asalmostinevitably happens, she was struck by an insight that left her feeling muchstronger andmore capable thanbefore.She expressedhergratitude for all thethings inher life thatwerestillwonderful, includingherrelationshipswithherchildren and her relative state of well-being considering everything she wasgoingthrough.

Because she was able to see that her experience was being created from theinsideout,shewaslessfrightenedofwhatmighthappennext–whichgaveherimmediate access to the resources and common sensewe all have to guideuswhenwe’reonourgame.

Willsheloseherbearingsagainandhavemore‘upanddown’weeks?Ofcourseshewill.Buteachtimeithappens itwillbeeasierforher tosee thatall that’sgoingonissomeinsecurethinking,andthatthemomentitpasses,whattodo–ifthere’sanythingtobedone–willonceagainbecomeclear.

Andthis is thegiftofadeeperunderstanding: it freesusfromhavingtotrytocontrolourexperience,avoidanythingwedon’twant tohavehappenorneverfeeldownagain.Withthatfreedomcomessomuchenergyandlightnessthatwereconnecttotheworldofdeeperfeeling.Andlifeonceagainfeelslikethegiftitwasalwaysmeanttobe.

DANCINGBETWEENTHESPIRITUALANDTHEMATERIAL

At the physicist David Bohm’s funeral, one of his favorite passages from hisownworkwasreadaloud:

Thefieldofthefiniteisallthatwecansee,hear,touch,remember,anddescribe.Thisfieldisbasicallythatwhichismanifest,ortangible.

Theessentialqualityoftheinfinite,bycontrast,isitssubtlety,itsintangibility.Thisqualityisconveyedintheword‘spirit,’whoserootmeaningis‘windorbreath.’Thissuggestsaninvisiblebutpervasiveenergy,towhichthemanifestworldofthefiniteresponds.

Thisenergy,orspirit,infusesalllivingthings,andwithoutitanyorganismmustfallapartintoitsconstituentelements.Thatwhichistrulyaliveinlivingsystemsisthisenergyofspirit,andthisisneverbornandneverdies.

In other words, we live in a world of spirit (the infinite) mademanifest in aworld of form (the finite).Whichmeans that everything ismade of spirit andnothing(literally‘nothing’)istheessenceofspirit.

In the same way, the transformative conversation is, by nature, bothpsychologicalandspiritual.Afterall,ifwe’retolookmoredeeplyintowhatitisto be alive, aware, and creative, we must consider both the workings of thehumanmindandthelargercontextinwhichweashumanbeingsfunction.

TheFrenchJesuitTeilharddeChardinfamouslysaid,‘Wearenothumanbeingshaving a spiritual experience – we are spiritual beings having a humanexperience.’Andifthisistrue,weignoreeitherofthosefactsatourperil.

Peoplewhoattempttolivepurelyinthematerialworldandignorethespiritualtend, inmy experience, to ride the roller coaster of life’s ups and downs andarrive at the end of the ride feeling – accurately – that they haven’t actuallygotten anywhere andwonderingwhy those spiritual people seem so calm andpeaceful.

Peoplewhoemphasizethespiritualworldatthecostofthematerialtend,inmyexperience, to fluctuate between moments of pure bliss/awe/wonder and

moments of frustration, wondering why, if they’re so spiritual, God/Life/theUniversehasforsakenthemtoalifeofpovertyandstrugglewhilethosematerialpeoplegettohaveallthenicestuff.

To attempt to choose between the spiritual and the material is like trying tochoose between two cars, one without an engine and one without a steeringwheel–youwon’tbearrivinganywhereworthwhileineitherofthem.

This isn’t to say we need to attempt to balance the two – worship on theweekendsandworkintheweekismoreofaculturalnormthanalifestrategy.Butwhenwebegintoseehowthetwoworldsarereallyone,itbecomespossibletoexperiencethebestofboth.

The upside of a focus on the spiritual is a deeper sense of connection withourselves,withothers,andwithlifeitself.Theworldofdeeperfeelingsthatwebegintoinhabit–feelingslikegratitude,love,humility,wonder,andawe–isitsownreward.

The upside of a focus on the material is a life of greater comfort, ease, andpossibility.Moneymaynotbe able tobuyhappinessor love, but it’s thebesttoolIknowforfeedingchildren,buildingnewhomes,buyingplaneticketstoatropicalisland,andhavingaromanticdinnerfortwoonthebeachonceyou’rethere.

The difficulty comes ifwe start to treat the formlessworld of spirit as if it’ssubjecttothesamerulesastheworldofform.Mostofusarefamiliarwithwhathappenswhenwe’reconsumedwiththepursuitofsuccessinthematerialworld.Stressandpressurebecomeourconstantcompanions,andmoreissomehownotonlybetterbutalsoneverenough.Ifwewinthegame,ourex-husbands,wives,andchildrengettoreadourepitaphinthemorningheadlines:

‘Hereliesthefastestrunneronthetreadmill.’

Ifweapproachtheworldofspiritinthesameway,wesetourselvesupforyetanother lifetime of struggle. We strive for ‘spiritual success,’ settingenlightenmentorunionwiththedivineasourgoalanddeterminingthatwewillout-meditate,out-pray,andoutlastour fellowseekersuntilwegetvoted ‘mostlikelytositattherighthandofGod’inourhigh-schoolyearbooks.

Inbothcases,ourendlesspursuitof‘notthis’isdrivenbyourdeepestfear:that

there’s somethingwrongwithusandwe’renotenough.Thatuntilweachievesufficient levels of spiritual wealth, material success, or both, we won’t beworthyoflove.Andthatwithoutsomethingtangibletoshowforit,we’llhavewastedourlife.

Ironically,whatwe’reseekingisallaroundusallthetime.Rightwhereyou’resittingnowistheinfinitewholemademanifestinthedivinespecific.Youcouldnosoonerbe‘notenough’thanatreecouldbethewrongcolor.Andyoudon’thavetobecomeworthyoflove,becauseloveiswhatyou’remadeof.

Whenweseethattruth,orindeedanytruthaboutthehumancondition,itcansetusfree.Therearemillionsoftheoriesoutthere,andI’veaddedafewdozenofmyowntothelistovertheyears.But,asSydBanksusedtosay:

‘Youonlyneedtoseeonespiritualfactanditwillchangeyourlifeforever.’

PUTTINGITALLTOGETHER

In the next chapter I’m going to be sharing three spiritual facts – three‘principles,’orfoundationalelements,of thehumanexperience.Butbeforewemove forward, here are a few of the key insights from this chapter to reflectupon:

Wecannotevenbegintoguessatthefullscopeofthehumanpotential,includingourown.

Whatistrulytransformativeisseeingwhat’sstillthereevenwhenwe’renotlooking.

Thereisaworldofdeeperfeelingwhichisalwaysavailabletous.

Ifwearetrulyspiritualbeingshavingahumanexperience,weignoreeitherofthosefactsatourperil.

Wedon’thavetobecomeworthyoflove,becauseloveiswhatwe’remadeof.

Youonlyneedtoseeonespiritualfacttochangeyourlifeforever.

2

FIRSTPRINCIPLES

‘Ineverysystematicinquiry(methodos)wheretherearefirstprinciples,orcauses,orelements,knowledgeandscienceresultfromacquiringknowledgeofthese…Itisclear,then,thatinthescienceofnatureaselsewhere,we

shouldtryfirsttodeterminequestionsaboutthefirstprinciples.’

Aristotle

There are usually only a few basic principles that form the basis for ourunderstanding of anything in life. When we get really clear on what thoseprinciplesare,we’vegotthekeytounlockingthemysteryofwhateverthatthingis.Andoncewe’veunlockedthosemysteries, theycease tobemysteries– theinquiryopensdoorsthatneverbecomeclosedtousagain.

Oneof thefundamentalprinciples ingeometry iswhat’scalled the‘point-line-planepostulate.’There’snosuchthinginnatureasapoint,butifweaccepttheideaofapointasafirstprinciple,wecanthenputaninfinitesequenceofpointstogether and get a line. And if we envision a series of lines going in everydirectioninasingledimension(likeanendlesspieceofpaper),wegetaplane.

By asserting these three fundamental principles and then building on them,everythingelseingeometryanddesignbecomespossible,fromcreatingshapes

todesigningbuildings.

Orthinkaboutanotherkindofplane–thekindthatfliesoverourheadalldaylong. Until about 100 years ago, flight seemed impossible to most scientists,even though it was happening all around them in nature. Then a couple ofbrothers who ran a bike shop figured out a way to take some fundamentalprinciples–likegravity,lift,thrust,anddrag–andcombinetheminanewwaytoenablesomethingheavytobehaveasifitwerelighterthanair.

Sotheword‘principle,’asI’llbeusingitinourconversationtogether,referstothebasicoressentialqualityorelementofsomethingthatdeterminesitsintrinsicnatureorcharacteristicbehavior.

In the field of chemistry, 117 distinct elements have been discovered that invariouscompoundsformthesubstanceofevery‘thing’ontheplanet.Inart,thethreeprimarycolorsmakeupeveryothercolorinthespectrum.

WhenSydBanksbegantalkingabouthisinsightsintothehumanexperience,hearticulated their essence in the form of three universal principles, which hecalledMind,Consciousness, andThought.While thosewordsmean differentthings todifferentpeople, theprinciples theypoint tohavebeenobservedandstudied in science, philosophy, and religion throughout the ages. I’ve come tothinkofthemasthebasicfactsoflife–formless,foundationalelementswhichcanbeobservedonlythroughtheireffects:

Thereisanenergyandintelligencebehindlife.Thisiseverpresentbutisnot‘incontrol’–ithasnoinherentmoralityorapparentpointofview.Itsimplyensuresthatbutfortheinterferenceofexternalcircumstance,acornsbecomeoaktrees,cutsheal,andlifebegetslife.(ThePrincipleofMind)

Thecapacitytobeawareandexperiencelifeisinnateinhumanbeings.Itisauniversalphenomenon.Ourlevelofawarenessinanygivenmomentdeterminesthequalityofourexperience.(ThePrincipleofConsciousness)

Wecreateourindividualexperienceofrealityviathevehicleofthought.Thoughtisthemissinglinkbetweentheformlessworldofpurepotentialityandthecreatedworldofform.(ThePrincipleofThought)

Let’stakeadeeperlookateachoftheseprinciplesinturn…

THEGODPRINCIPLE:MIND

YouknowtheEasternphilosopherssay:‘BigMind,littlemind.’Andhere’stheparadox:thelittlemindistheegomind,that’stheself-centred‘me,’thebighotshot–theonlythingintheworldworthlookingatinthemirroris‘me.’

ThebigMindistheDivineMind–theUniversalMind,whichistheintelligenceofliterallyallthingsinthisworldoranyotherworld.That’stheMindyoushouldbelookingfor.That’stheMindthathasthepowertoguideyouthroughlife.

SYDBANKS

This always sounds like the set-up to a joke, even to me, but I once had aconversationabouttheprincipleofMindwithaCatholic,aJehovah’sWitness,andanatheist.TheywereeachsharingtheirviewofGod,andnotunexpectedlytheconversationbecamesomewhatheated.

The atheist turned to me and said, ‘What do you think, Michael?’ no doubtcountingonmyrationalmindtocometohisaidintheargument.

Ireflectedforamoment,andsaid,‘Iknowtwothingsforsure:Iseemtobepartofalargerwhole,andI’mnotinchargeofhowthingsunfold.Ifyouwanttocallthatlargerwholeorgreatunfolding“life”or“theuniverse”or“spirit,”I’mokaywiththat.Ifyouwanttocallit“God,”I’mokaywiththattoo.’

Tomyslightsurprise,allthreeofthemwerecomfortablewiththatexplanation,butasIreflectedonitsomemore,Irealizedthat itwasn’tsosurprising.Afterall,howeverweexplainit,mostofusrealizethatwe’renotrunningtheshow.

Inmysticalcircles,thisenergybehindlifeisoftenreferredtoasthe‘GroundofBeing’;inphysics,it’ssometimesreferredtoasthe‘quantumfield’;inreligion,it’sGod, ormore specifically theGodhead.While to equate these thingsmayseemhereticalinsometraditions(includingatheism),Imeannooffensebyit–I’msimplypointingtothefactthatnearlyalltraditionsandfieldsofstudypointtosomethingthat’sbeyondourpersonalhuman-sizedviewoflife.

Iliketothinkofitasinfinitecreativepotential–thepotentialforanyformto

arise(includingthought-forms)andforanyexperiencetobeexperienced.

InTheGodDelusion,RichardDawkinsquotesAlbertEinstein:

‘Tosensethatbehindanythingthatcanbeexperiencedthereisasomethingthatourmindcannotgraspandwhosebeautyandsublimityreachesusonlyindirectlyandasafeeblereflection,thisisreligiousness.Inthissense,Iamreligious.’

Dawkins thengoeson to say that in this sensehe too is religious.And in thissenseI thinkanyonewhohasevercontemplated themiracleof lifewouldcallthemselvesreligious,nomatterwhattheirviewonasupernaturaldeity.

Inmy experience,when you begin to look beyond your personalmind to theimpersonal‘bigMind,’youfindsomethingprofoundwaitingforyouthere.ButIwas still quite coy about speaking openly about this gateway to spirit until IattendedatalkgivenbythebrilliantPrinciples-basedpsychiatristWilliamPettit.HewasaskedabouthowheintroducedtheideaofadivineMindtothesoldiershe was treating in Iraq and other parts of theMiddle East for post-traumaticstressdisorder.Hisanswerstuckwithme,asIsuspectitwillwithyou:

‘I’venevermetamanwho’sheldanotherman’sheadinthescopeofhisriflewhohasn’talreadyspentagreatdealof timecontemplatingwhat life isandwhereitcomesfrom.’

InfactI’veyettomeetanyonewhohasn’tatleastsomeawarenessofapartofthemselves that exists beyondwhatever personal trials and tribulations we allface. And themore timewe spend connected with that part of ourselves, themorebeautifulourlife,andtheimpactofthatlife,becomes.

THEAWARENESSPRINCIPLE:CONSCIOUSNESS

Consciousnessgivesustheabilitytorealizetheexistenceoflife.Consciousnesshasaninfinitenumberoflevels;youwillnevercometotheendofConsciousness.Itisliterallyimpossible,becauseConsciousnessisinfinite–thereisnoendtoit.Andthat’sabeautifulthingtoknow,becauseitmeanstosaythereisnoendofyoufindingbeauty,loveandunderstandinginthisworld.

SYDBANKS

Consciousness is like a kind of developing fluid for mental photographs,bringingwhateverpassesthroughitsfieldtolife.It’sthelightthatilluminatesafilm strip – the special-effects department that takes the illusion andmakes itseemreal.Itinformsoursensesandbringswhateverwe’rethinkingtolife.

While pure Consciousness is a formless potential, as individuals we allexperiencelifeatdifferentlevels.It’slikebeinginaglasselevator–theworldlooks different depending on what floor we’re on. And the elevator of ourpersonalconsciousnessgoesupanddownalldaylong.Whenourlevelchanges,ourviewchangesrightalongwithit:thehigherourlevel,theclearerourview.

WhatIfindsohopefulinthismetaphoristhatit’spossibleforanyoneofustomakea‘vertical leap’ inconsciousnessatanytime.Eachnewinsightwehaveintothenatureofthehumanconditionopensupahigherperspective,adeeperunderstanding,andaclearerviewofwhat’sreallygoingon.It’slikemakingthemove from an elevator that runs between the fifth and fifteenth floors of abuilding to one that will take us up to the twentieth floor.While we’ll mostassuredly continue to experience the ups and downs of life, our access tocommonsense,wisdom,andwell-beinggrowsexponentiallywitheachleap.

Thesimplestway togaugeyourcurrent levelofconsciousness is to tune in toyour feelings. When you’re feeling low (angry, frustrated, stressed out,uncomfortable, unwell, etc.), chances are that your level of consciousness hasdippedandyourviewofyourself,yourlife,andtheworldisrelativelylimited.When your mood is higher and you’re feeling peaceful, loving, and content,chances are that the elevator of consciousness has begun to climb, and fromthese higher levels you’ll naturally be able to respond more insightfully towhateverishappeningaroundyou.

Now this isn’t to say that if you’re feeling happy and peaceful today you’reautomatically in the same state of consciousness as theBuddha.But themoreyou look in the direction of what’s creating experience and away from thecontentofthatexperience,theeasieritistohearthequietwisdomthatcanleadtoaquantumleapinconsciousness.

THECREATIVEPRINCIPLE:THOUGHT

Remember–andthisisveryimportant–you’reonlyonethoughtawayfromhappiness,you’reonlyonethoughtawayfromsadness.ThesecretliesinThought.It’sthemissinglinkthateverybodyinthisworldislookingfor…It’sagiftthatweweregiventohavethefreedomtowalkthroughlifeandseewhatwewanttosee.Howmuchbetterthanthatcanyouget?Thatyouhavethefreedomtowalkthroughlifeandseeasafreethinker,thatisthegreatestgiftever,tobeafreethinker.

SYDBANKS

WhenIfirstheardpractitionersoftheThreePrinciplestalkabouttheprincipleofThoughtinsemi-rapturoustones,Ithoughtthatatbesttheywereabitsimpleandatworstabitbrainwashed.Afterall,Ialreadyknewthatpeoplethought.Ithardlyseemedworthmentioning,letalonewaxingrhapsodicabout.

Butthenoneofmymentorspointedoutthenatureofwhathecalled‘ordinarymiracles’–thosethingsthatontheonehandaretrulyextraordinaryandontheotherhappensoconsistently thatwe take themcompletely forgranted.Thingslikethesunappearingintheskyandnotonlylightingourdaysbutalsowarmingandnourishinglifeonourplanet.OrgravitykeepingusfixedtotheEarthwheneveryotherlawofphysicswouldhaveushurtlingoutintospace.

Thought isallaroundus,which insomewaysmakes it largely invisible tous.Withoutthought,therewouldbenodelineationinourworld–noperception,nodistinction,andnovarietyofexperience.It’sbothcreatorandsubstanceofourbeliefsandvalues;it’stherawmaterialofourhopesanddreams.

WhilemostofusareawareofThoughtatthelevelofwhatwethinkaboutlife,wetendtobeunawareofhowmuchof life itself iscreatedandmaintainedbyThought. Much of what appears to be solid and real is actually part of theillusionofourpersonalthinking.

To better understand this idea, consider an iceberg. Icebergs appear solid, butthey’reactuallymadeupofthewaterthatsurroundsthem.Intheworldofform,this means that a tiny degree of fluctuation in temperature can completelyeliminateicebergsthathavebeeninplaceforhundredsofyearsandcreatenewonesseeminglyoutofnowhere.Intheinnerworldoftheformless,itmeansthat

nomatter how solid the foundationsof your realitymay seem, it only takes aslightshiftinconsciousnessforyourentireworldtochange.

Tome,thisisoneofthemostexcitingthingsaboutThought.It’sattheheartofeverything we experience, from monsters to angels and from problems topossibilities.Andsincewehaveaninfinitepotentialfornewthought,we’reonlyever one new thought away from a completely different experience of beingalive.

PUTTINGITALLTOGETHER

I’llletSydBanksfinishthissectionwithasummaryofhowtheseprinciplesfittogether:

WhatareMind,Consciousness,andThought?

Mindistheintelligenceofallthings;Consciousnessmakesyouaware;andThoughtisliketherudderofaship.Itguidesyouthroughlife,andifyoulearntousethatrudderproperly,youcanguideyourwaythroughlifefarbetterthanyoueverimagined.Youcangofromonerealitytoanother.Youcanfindyourhappinessandwhenillusionarysadnesscomesfrommemories,youdon’ttrytofigureitout.Pleasedon’ttrytodothat–you’llgetyourselfintrouble.Allyouhavetodoisrealizethatit’sThought.

Thesecondyourealizethatit’sThought,youaretouchingtheveryessenceofpsychologicalexperience.You’rebacktothe‘now,’you’rebacktohappiness.Sodon’tgetcaughtuponalotofdetails…

Whenyou’reready,youwillfindwhatyou’relookingfor.Idon’tcarewhoyouare.Idon’tcarewhereyouare.Ifyou’reinthemiddleoftheSaharaDesert…andit’stimeforyoutofindtheanswer,therightpersonwillappearinthemiddleofthedesertandletyouknow.Hewillsaysomethingtoyouthatwilltriggersomethinginsideyou.

Andthat’swherethatlifecomesfrom:insideout.It’sspiritualknowledge.It’sthere,everybodyhasitandpeopledon’trealizethat.There’snohumanbeingmorespiritualthanyou–everybodyisequal.

Andyouknowwhattheequalityis?

ThatweallderivefromMind,Consciousness,andThought.

That’stheequalizer.Andwhileyouhavethatequalizeryou’reasgoodasanybodyonthisEarth,you’reasholyasanybodyelseonthisEarth.Youalwayshavebeen,alwayswillbe;theonlythingisyoudon’tseeitbecauseofyourthoughts.

In thenextchapterwe’ll takea lookat the revolutionary implicationsof thesethree principles for thewaywe experience our lives.But first, here are a fewthoughtstoreflecton:

Aprincipleissomethingthat’sfundamental–trueforallpeopleatalltimes,withnoexceptions.

Ourexperienceoflifecanbeunderstoodviathreefundamentalprinciples:Mind,Consciousness,andThought.

Toputitanotherway,everythingweexperienceinlifeisafunctionofthreespiritualfacts:wearealive,weareaware,andwethink.

We’reonlyeveronenewthoughtawayfromacompletelydifferentexperienceofbeingalive.

3

THEONLYTHINGYOUNEEDTOKNOW

‘Amanwillbeimprisonedinaroomwithadoorthat’sunlockedandopensinwardsaslongasitdoesnotoccurtohimtopullratherthanpush.’

LudwigWittgenstein

WhenI firstbegansharing theThreePrincipleswithmyclients, Inoticed thatwewould reacha certainbreakthroughpoint inourwork together afterwhichnothingwaseverthesameagain.Theclientsmayhavebeensuccessfulandevenrelatively happy before that point, but after it, the very basis of their livessomehowshifted.

Clientsdescribedtheirexperienceofthistransformativemomentinavarietyofways,from‘Sothat’swhatyou’vebeentalkingaboutallthistime’to‘Nothing’schanged,buteverything’sdifferent’to‘Thebutterflyhaslanded.’

What I wasn’t clear about for awhile was what exactly had happened at thatpoint.Iwascertainlyawarethatthey’dallhadadeeperinsightintosomething;Ijustwasn’tsurewhatthatsomethingwas.

When IbeganaskingotherPrinciples-basedpractitioners if theysaw thesame‘breakthrough insight’ in theirwork, theyuniversallyknewwhat Iwas talkingabout. The consensus was that the real ‘game changer’ with people was themomenttheyhadadeeperinsightintotheinside-outnatureofreality.

Theprevailingmodelinourcultureisthatourexperienceoflifeiscreatedfromthe outside in – that is, what happens to us on the outside determines our

experienceontheinside.Peopleorcircumstances‘make’ushappy,angry,sad,fearful,orloving,andthegameoflifeistofind,attract,create,ormanifesttherightpeopleandcircumstances inorder tohavemoreof thegoodfeelingsandfewerofthebadones.

Onevariationon thismodel (which I call ‘empoweredoutside in’) argues thatit’snotsomuchwhathappenstousaswhatwedowithwhathappenstousthatdeterminesourexperience.Ifwerisetothechallenge,wecangofromreactingasvictimsoftheeventsoflifetorespondingascreators,makinglemonadeoutof lemons and creating the relationships and circumstances that will bring ushappinessandfulfillment.

Asecondvariation(whichIcall‘enlightenedoutsidein’)saysthatwhilepeopleandcircumstancescertainlymatter,what’sevenmoreimportantiswhatwethinkaboutthosepeopleandcircumstances.EverythingfromCognitiveandRational-Emotivetherapytothemajorityoftheself-helpmovementpointsoutthatifyoucan replace a negative thought, belief, or attitude toward people andcircumstances with a positive one, not only will your experience changeimmediately,butbeforelongthepeopleandcircumstanceswilllikelychangeaswell–andeven if theydon’t,at leastyourpositive thoughtsandattitudeswillallowyoutomakethebestofabadsituation.

While both of these variations certainly promote greater effectiveness in theworkplaceandamoreenjoyableexperienceofbeingalive,they’relimitedinthescopeoftheirimpactnotbythelackofdisciplineorskillofthepractitioners,butratherbecausethey’rerootedinafundamentallyinaccuratemodel.

Bywayofexplanation,imaginethefollowingscenario:

You’reinanartstudiofilledwithpaintersstandingattheireasels.Althoughyoucan’tseeitfromwhereyou’restanding,they’realllookinginthedirectionofasmallplatforminthecenteroftheroomandpaintingwhattheysee.

Asyouwalkaroundthestudio,younoticesmallandsometimesvastdiscrepanciesbetweenwhatpeoplearepaintingontheircanvases.Argumentsbreakoutinpartsoftheroomastowhetherornotthemodelforthepaintingismoreonecolorthananother,tallerorshorter,uglierormorebeautifulthanrendered.

Youbegintobecomecuriousaboutwhatitisthateveryone’spainting,soyoumakeyourwaytothecenteroftheroomanddiscovertoyoursurprisethatthere’sabsolutelynothingthere.Theemptinessofthecenterispalpable.

Suddenly,yourealizethereasonwhyeveryone’spaintingadifferentpictureisn’tdowntotheirpointofview,wheretheireaselhappenstobeplaced,oreventoamatterofpersonalinterpretation.It’sbecausewhattheyare‘viewing’isonlyaprojectionoftheirownthoughts.

Themoment you catch even a glimpse of the illusory nature of theworld ofform,thegameoflifechangescompletelyandirrevocably.Nomatterhowscaryoroppressiveorinsecureyourexperienceoflifemaybe,onceyourealizethatit’sonlyyourownthinkingthatyou’reexperiencing,thatthinkinglosesmuchofits hold over you.Youmay still feel uncomfortable feelings, but because youknow thatwhat’s causing them isn’toutside you, youdon’t feel compelled tochangetheworldinordertochangethewayyoufeel,anymorethanyouwouldgotoyourtelevisionsettotrytoconvincethecharactersonyourfavoritesoapoperatochangetheirfoolishways.

What SydBanks sawwhen he had his enlightenment experiencewas thatwelive in aworld of thought.Not aworld influencedby thought,where positiveoutperformsnegativeandgivesusa‘competitiveadvantageinthemarketplace,’but a world that is actually created from thought. And themoment we stopfightingwithourselvesandothersaboutwhattothinkandinsteadfocusonthemiraclethatwearethinking,thedetailsoflifebegintoworkthemselvesout,allbythemselves.

Thesimpletruthisthis:

OurexperienceoflifeiscreatedfromtheinsideoutviatheprinciplesofMind,Consciousness,andThought.We’relivinginthefeelingofourthinking,not

thefeelingoftheworld.

We’resimplynotdesignedtoexperienceanoutsideworldinanyotherway.Wecan’t see, hear, or feelwithout thought informingour senses, andwehavenoway of checking whether or not our thoughts are telling us about somethingthat’sreallyhappeningorsimplyprojectingfalsedatawhichwetheninterpretastrue.That’swhyonemomentwecanbesurethateverything’sgoingtobefine

and the next we can be equally sure that it isn’t – without anything actuallychangingintheworld.

This inability to verify our observations doesn’t mean that the world doesn’texist–justthatitsimpactonourexperienceoflifehasbeenvastlyexaggerated.

HOWREALISOURREALITY?

Tobetterunderstandtheinside-outparadigm,let’sstepintotheglasselevatorofconsciousnessandseehowtheworldchangeswhenviewedfromdifferentlevelsofunderstanding.

GroundFloor:ObjectiveReality

‘WhatIseeiswhat’sreallyhappening.I’mexperiencingtheworldasitis.’

Atthebottomof theelevator, theworldofformlooks100percent real tous.We think of the mind as being like a camera which is accurately recordingwhat’sgoingonoutsideus,andeverythingittellsusaboutthatobjectiverealityistakenastheabsolutetruth:ourbossreallyisajerk,wetrulyarebeingtakenadvantageof,andlifeactuallyiseasierforeveryoneelsethanitisforus.Ifwewanttochangeourexperience,theonlywaytodoitistochangetheworld.

Whileweallhavecertainperceptionsthatwe’reconvincedarecompletelyandobjectively true,peoplewhoget stuckdown in thebasementof consciousnessoftenenduponthestreets,inmentalinstitutions,orinprisons.Thishappensinall innocence, as it’s understandably difficult to function in societywhen youcan’ttellthedifferencebetweenathoughtandreality.

LowerFloors:SubjectiveReality

‘WhatIseeisaninterpretationofreality.I’mexperiencingtheworldthroughthefilterofmythinking.’

As our level of understanding increases and the elevator rises, we begin toexperienceaslightseparationbetweenourpersonalthinkingandtheideaofanobjective reality.While themindstill appears to functionasacamera,wecanseethathowweframethepictureandwhatfilteror lenswelookthroughwillaffectthewaythingsappeartous.Thisistheworldofsubjectivereality,andit’sthe level at which many psychologies and self-help philosophies suggest wemakeourstand.

At this level of understanding, it seems that what happens in the worldinfluences us, but its impact can bemitigated by changing or controlling ourthoughts.So,ifwewanttofeelbetter,wetrytochangeourbeliefs,reframeourcircumstances, and become more mindful in ways that lessen the impact ofstressful,frightening,orotherwisedifficultsituationsandheightentheimpactofpositiveones.

Thereasonthisisstillavariantontheoutside-inmodelisthatstress,fear,anddifficultyareperceivedtobeprimarycharacteristicsofthesituation,notofourownthinking.Andherewecandrawasimplelineinthesand:

AnytimeaninternalexperienceisconsideredtobeaninherentpropertyofsomethingotherthanMind,Consciousness,andThoughtinthemoment,

we’relivinginanoutside-ininterpretationoftheworld.

HigherFloors:ConstructedReality

‘WhatIseeisallmadeup.TheworldiswhatIthinkitis.’

Aswedeepenourunderstandingandmoveupinconsciousness,webegintoseethat the nature of thought is both creative and arbitrary. Instead of trying toexplainwhywethinkwhatwethinkbylookingforevidenceintheworldorinourupbringing,werecognizethemindisnotsomuchacameraasapaintbrushand,consciouslyorunconsciously,wearetheartist.

Atthislevelofunderstanding,werecognizethat:

Wedon’texperiencemoney;weexperienceourthinkingaboutmoney.

Wedon’texperienceourchildren,parents,orpartners;weexperienceourthinkingaboutourchildren,parents,andpartners.

Wedon’texperiencetheworld;weexperienceourthinkingabouttheworld.

Thislevelofunderstandingopensupthepossibilityofmakingdramaticchangesin our lives and transforming our relationships with others. We become lessinclinedtoover-reacttothewhirlwindofourever-changingthoughtsandmoreable to respond insightfully to both gradual and sudden shifts in ourcircumstances.

TopFloors:IllusoryReality

‘Thereisnoseparationbetween“outthere”and“inhere.”Butformythinking,Iamapureexpressionoftheenergyoflife.’

Atthelevelofillusion,themindisseentoworklessasacameraorpaintbrushthanasakaleidoscope,creatingendlesspatternsofexperienceasitdiffractstheonenessoflifeviatheprismofThought.Thisisthelevelofunderstandingthatinvites the miraculous – transformations that defy rational explanation andinsightsthatredefinetheworldinwhichwelive.

While mystics throughout the ages seem to agree that the formless world ofspiritisrealityandtheworldofformisjustillusion,anyZenmasterworththeirsaltwillhityouovertheheadwithastickordropalargerockonyourfootthesecondyoustartclaimingthatyou‘reallydoknowthatit’salljustthought.’Butforthoseofusluckyenoughtocatchaglimpseoftheillusorynatureofreality,evenforamoment,theworldchanges.‘Reality’becomesalittlebitmorefluid,andwebegintoexperiencealevelofcalmandpeacethatmayhavepreviouslybeenunimaginabletous.Inthosemomentsofclearseeing,liveschange.

WhileIcertainlydon’tliveatthislevelofconsciousness,evenknowingitexistsisoftenenoughtogivemehopewhenIbumpupagainstsomethingthatseemsso solid andhurts somuch that I hearmyself saying, ‘Sure, I get that all thatotherstuffwasjustthought,butthisisn’tmythinking–thisisreal!’

Howwedealwiththosemomentswillbealatertopicinourconversation.Fornow, here’s a real-life example of how quickly a deeper understanding of theinside-outnatureofrealitycanleadtochange.

ALICEINCHAINS

Alicewas thewife of a client I’d been seeing for only a short timewhen sherequested a sessionwithme.Whenwe sat down together, she toldme almostimmediatelythatshewasfedupandwantedtoleavemyclientandtakethekidswithher.

She burst into tears and vented her frustration at hismercurial mood swings,neuroses,andinabilitytofollowthroughonhispromises.ThelaststrawwasaproposedtriptotheCaribbeanwhichhadbeencanceledatthelastminutewhenhe’dpanickedabouteverythingfrommissingoutonpotentialworktotheplanecrashingiftherestofthefamilywentonwithouthim.

AsmuchasI likedmyclient, itreallyseemedtomethathiswifehadapoint.But I knew enough to just keep listening. After a time, Alice’s litany ofcomplaintsdrewtoacloseandshefinishedbysaying,‘Itfeelsmean-spiritedofme because I know he’s going through a tough time, but I don’t know howanyonecouldlivewiththisleveloffrustration!’

Iaskedherifshewasopentosomecoaching,andwhenshesaidyes,Isharedalittle about how reality is created from the inside out. We talked about howfrustration isn’t feedback about our life but feedback about the quality of ourthinking at a particular moment. In a clearer state of mind, thoughts offrustrationmightstillarise,butwewon’tgivethemasecondthought.Whenourmind is relatively clear, our personal thinking just doesn’t get traction in thesamewaythatitdoeswhenourheadiscluttered.

So,whileIcouldn’tadviseheronwhattodo,onethingIcouldsaywithabsolutecertaintywasthatshewasn’tinafitstatetomakeagooddecisionaboutwhattohaveforlunch,letaloneaboutwhetherornotsheshouldbeleavingherhusband.

Afterafewmomentsofquiet,shelookedatmeandhereyeslitupforthefirsttimesincewe’dstartedtalking.

‘Idon’twant to leavehim,’shesaid. ‘I lovehim–I really, reallydo. It’s justbeenhardseeinghimgothroughthisanditmakesmefeellikeafailureasawifebecauseIcan’tmakeeverythingokay.’

Wespokeforanother20minutesorsoandshethankedmeandthatwasthat.

Ionlyheardfromherdirectlyonceafterthat,aboutsixweekslaterviaane-mail.Shethankedmeforourconversationandsaidthatthingshadbeenmuch,muchbettersincewe’dspoken.

‘I don’t always see it in the moment,’ she wrote, ‘but just knowing that I’mfeelingmythinkingandnotmylifemakesallthedifferenceintheworld.’

Aboutayearlater,Igotapostcardfrommyclient–hewasonholidaywithhisfamilyandeverythingwasgoingextremelywell.

WhatstruckmewashowquicklyAlicegotsomethingthathadtakenmenearly40yearsofmylifetosee.

Thiswasbynomeansthefirst timeI’dseensomeone’sworldshift inasinglesession.Whenitfirststartedhappening,Iwenttomycoachatthetime,SandyKrot, and asked her if she could explain howproblems that seemed ingrainedandintractablecouldresolvethemselvesinamatterofminutes.Shesimplysaid,‘Becausetheywereneverreallythereinthefirstplace.’

ShewentontoshareastoryaboutaclientofGeorgePransky’swhogotupsetwithhimforimplyingthathisproblemsweren’treal.

‘Are you trying to tell me,’ the client said, ‘that none of what I’m feeling isreal?’

‘Thefeelingsarereal,’Georgeresponded,‘butthewayyou’reseeingyourlifeisn’t.It’sjustatrickofthemind,likeamirage.’

‘Soyou’re saying,’ theclientcontinued, ‘that I’mfeelingallof this stressandpressurebecauseofamirage?’

Georgereflectedforamoment.

‘Well,’hereplied,‘it’sarealmirage.’

PUTTINGITALLTOGETHER

Aswe continue along in our conversation together, someof the ideaswe talkaboutmaychallengeyourviewsofwhat’srealandwhat’spossible.Iaskonlyfor you to stay open to the possibility that even the most solid looking andseeminglyunchangeableproblemsinyourlifemight,whenviewedfromhigheruptheelevatorofconsciousness,appearascurioustoyouasapersonpaintingapictureofamonsterandthenrunningoutoftheroomscreaminginterror.

SydBanksusedtosay:

‘Theworldisadivinedream,suspendedbetweentheboundariesoftime,space,andmatter.’

Andwhilewemayneverwakeupfromthedream,it’spossibleatanymomenttowakeuptothefactthatwe’redreaming.

Inthenextpartofourconversation,we’lllookmoredeeplyintothenatureoftheinside-out understanding and how it can lead us toward seeminglymiraculoustransformations,life-changinginsights,andacalmer,wiserexperienceoflife.

Beforewemoveon,herearesomethoughtstoreflecton:

Peoplethinkexperienceiscomingatthemfromtheoutsidein,butit’sactuallycomingthroughthemfromtheinsideout.

We’relivinginthefeelingofourthinking,notthefeelingoftheworld.

‘Reality’changeswhenviewedfromdifferentlevelsofunderstanding.

Themoreweunderstandwhereourexperienceiscomingfrom,thelessfrightenedwe’llbeofthatexperience.

Whenourthoughtslookreal,weliveinaworldofsuffering.Whentheylooksubjective,weliveinaworldofchoice.Whentheylookarbitrary,weliveinaworldofpossibility.Andwhenweseethemasillusory,wewakeupinsideaworldofdreams.

4

AFORMULAFORMIRACLES

‘Youdonotneedtoleaveyourroom.Remainsittingatyourtableandlisten.Donotevenlisten,simplywait.Donotevenwait,bequitestillandsolitary.

Theworldwillfreelyofferitselftoyoutobeunmasked.Ithasnochoice.Itwillrollinecstasyatyourfeet.’

FranzKafka

I first cameacross the fieldofcoaching in1988whena friendplunkedme infrontofasetofTonyRobbinsaudiocassettesandaskedmetolistenwithher.Afewhundredhoursof reading, listening, and live training later, I launchedmyfirst coaching company with my best friend David.We called itMomentum,becauseatthetimeitseemedtousthatthesecretofsuccesswasNewton’sFirstLawofMotion:

Anobjectatresttendstostayatrest;anobjectinmotiontendstostayinmotion.

Wefiguredthatthemosthelpfulthingwecoulddowithourstudentsandclientswastoassisttheminjump-startingtheirprojects,careers,andlives,andgettingupsuchaheadofsteamthatitwouldbealmosteasiertokeepgoingthantostop.However, while this approach certainly made a difference for a number ofpeople, itwasalsoapparent thatgoingfasterdidn’treallyhelpwhenyouwereheadedinthewrongdirection.

So, a few years later, having studied the work of Steven R. Covey and Dr.RichardBandler, I decided that the ‘real’ secret of successwas to changeour

thoughtsandactionssothatwedidlessofwhatdidn’tworkandmoreofwhatdid. I called my new company Behavior Changes, and I began to work withcompanies, groups, and individuals on a largely behavioral level, seeking toeliminate their ‘bad’ or unproductive habits while simultaneously installing‘good’productiveones.

For the next decade or so, I enjoyed working with people to change theirprogrammed habits of thinking and behavior, sometimes directly, sometimesthroughthedevelopmentofskills,andoftenthroughanexplorationoftheirmostdeeplyheldbeliefsandvalues.Ibecameoneofthetopcoachesandtrainersinmy field, but it troubled me that the clients who seemed to experience thebiggest positive shifts weren’t necessarily the ones who achieved their statedgoalsforourworktogether.

Whether my clients were trying to change their lives by changing the world,changingtheiractions,orchangingtheirthoughts,theywerestilllaboringundera fundamentally false assumption: the idea that if they could somehow gaincontrol over their circumstances (including the ‘circumstances’ of theirthoughts),theirexperienceoflifewouldchangeforthebetter.

While each of these three types of intervention can provide short-term reliefwhen successful, over time they often create asmanyproblems as they solve.Webecomewealthier,moresuccessful,andfindsomebodytolove,onlytonowfill our time protecting our wealth, hanging on to our success, and worryingaboutlosingtheonewelove.

Orwebecomemoredisciplined,changeourhabits,andgetourselvesontrack,but always know that we’re only a few bad days or weeks away frombackslidingfurtherthanwe’veworkedsohardtocome.

Orweaffirmabundanceandhealth,eliminatetheluxuryofanegativethought,onlyhangoutwith‘positivepeople,’andwonderwhyourworldhasbecomesosmallandtightandrestricted.

So,ifchasingbetterresults,changingourbehavior,andcontrollingourthoughtswon’tgetuswhatwereallywant,whatwill?Howdowefindthedifferencethatmakesthedifference?

TRANSFORMATIONFORDUMMIES

There’safamouscartoonbySidneyHarrisfeaturingtwomenatachalkboard:

While thecartoon isclearlypokingmore funatmathematics thanpsychology,the same three-step formula often seems to applywhenever people undergo atransformativeshiftintheirlife:

StepOne:Theylivetheirlife,doingthebesttheycanbutoftendriftingorevenflounderingalongtheway.

StepTwo:Thenamiracleoccurs…

StepThree:…andsomehowtheirlifeiscompletelydifferent.Theygofrominactiontoaction,fromstucktoflowing,fromlimitedtofree,frommiserabletohappy.They’renolongerdriventodrinkalcoholorgoshoppingortakeregularhitsoftheirdrugofchoice.Beforelong,theircareertakesoff,theirrelationshipsimprovebeyondallrecognition,andtheircreativeoutputsoars.

Weallknowatleastonepersonwho’sexperiencedthiskindoftransformationin their life. Perhaps it’s a friend or familymemberwho ‘found religion’ and

really did begin to live a kinder, gentler life.Or someonewhowasdiagnosedwith a life-threatening illness or had a near-death experience and began toexperiencemoregratitudeandtoappreciatethesimplethingsinlife.

Sometimes, the cause of the transformation seemsmore random – the personreadsomethinginabook,orheardsomeonesaysomethingthatsomehowstruckthematafardeeperlevelthanmayhavebeenintended.

Syd Banks reportedly experienced his first major insight while hiking with afellow participant on a weekend seminar. In the midst of an argument overwhichof themwasmore insecure,hiscompanion toldhim, ‘You’renotreallyinsecure, Syd – you just think you are.’ Somehow, that innocuous, almostcomical statementmadenearly40years ago triggered a seriesof insights intothenatureofMind,Thought,andConsciousnesswhichledtothedevelopmentofawholenewfieldofpsychology.

Suchtransformationsarenottheresultofanintervention,butrathertheeffectofashiftinourlevelofconsciousness.

Mostofusexperiencedat leasta temporaryshift inour levelofconsciousnessthefirsttimewefellinlove.Suddenly,theworldseemedamorebeautifulplace.We were inspired to write poetry, or to draw pictures, or create things thatreflectedthebeautifulfeelingswefeltinsideus.

Becauseweattributedthosefeelingstoanotherperson,weoftenreturnedtoourhabituallevelafterward.Butthosefeelingsdon’tcomefromoutsideus–they’rea part of our essential selves.Whenwe see the fundamental truth of that, theshift in consciousness becomes permanent and new levels of seeing becomeavailabletous.Thattransformativeshiftcomestousviainsight–literally‘sightfromwithin.’

Insightsarethosewonderful‘Aha!’momentswhenwe’reabletoseesomethingabout ourselves, our life, or life itself in a whole newway. People often callthem ‘light-bulb moments,’ because we see things in a new light that makesthemlooklessfixedandlessscarythanbefore.If there’sanythingtobedone,wedoitwithouttheneedforanyadditionaldebateorwillpower.

In these wonderful transformative moments, we discover a fresh newway ofseeingsomethingthatwemayhavebeenlookingatforages.Wesuddenly‘getit’–notintellectually,thewaywemightunderstandaconcept,butatanalmost

cellularlevel,thewayweeithergetajokeorwedon’t,evenwhenweknowthatit’ssupposedtobefunny.Quitesimply,insightschangeourworld.

THEINSIGHTFAIRY

Unfortunately,knowingthatweneedtohaveinsightsinordertotransformusedto feel a bit discouraging to me. While I’d certainly had wonderful insightsthroughout my life, short of trying to force a breakthrough or praying to the‘insightfairy’(whichoddlyseemedtoworkalittlebitbetterthantryingtoforceabreakthrough,despitethefactthatI’mfairlysurethereisno‘insightfairy’),Ialways felt thatgettingagreat insightmore thanonceor twiceayearwas toomuchtohopefor.

WhichiswhyIwassodelightedwhenIhadmyfirstrealinsightintoinsights:

Allan‘insight’reallyis…isanewthought.

Forme,thatrealizationwasagamechangerbecauseIknewIcouldhavefreshthinkingatanymoment.It’snotabigdealoramysticalprocess–it’sjustapartof the nature of Thought. Our thinking changes moment by moment, so theabilitytohaveanewthoughtaboutanoldsituationisnaturalandeverpresent.

The most impactful of these ‘new thoughts’ seem to arise from somewherebeyondourpersonaldatabank,andcontaininformationandwisdomoutsideourcurrent knowledge.They’re a part of thenatural intelligenceofMind, andweexperiencethemascommonsenseandinnatewisdom.

This nowallowsus towrite upour ‘formula formiracles’ in the formof twosimplepsycho-spiritualequations:

Mind+Thought+Consciousness=Reality

Mind+NewThought+Consciousness=NewReality

And it alsoallowsus tobe ‘moreexplicit in step two.’ Ifwe replace ‘Thenamiracle occurs…’ with ‘Then a new thought comes to mind,’ we have aformulathat’sconsiderablymorereliable,practical,andpredictive:

StepOne:Welookinthedirectionofwhat’strueinlife,asopposedtosearchingforthemostusefullie.

StepTwo:Asweseemoretruth,weexperiencemorenewthinkingandariverofinsightsbeginstoflow.

StepThree:Whenaninsightissufficientlyprofound,itsimpactonourlifeistransformative.Nothingchangesontheoutside,buteverything’sdifferentontheinside.Weexperienceaverticalleapinourlevelofconsciousnessandgainnewperspectiveonouroldwayofbeingintheworld.

Forthoseofusinterestedinwell-being(orindeedthewell-beingoftheplanet),thisformulaformiraclestakesustoaforkintheroad.Wecancontinuedownthepathofcontrolandattempttothink,behave,orchangetheworldinourquestforhappinessandwell-being.Infairness,thispathhasnumerousadvantages.It’swelllitandwelltraveledandwe’llrarelyfindourselvesatalossforcompanionson that journey.While thesecompanionsmaydisagreewithuson thespecificthings we need to change or how to change them, they’ll never question thefundamentalpremisethatweneedtochangesomethinginordertobehappyandwhole.

On the other hand, we can take the path of transformation, sacrificing thatcomforting feeling of being in control in the hope of discovering greaterfreedom.Wegiveupontheapparentsafetyoftheknowninsearchoftheasyetunknown–thefieldofpurepossibility–thespacewheremiracleshappen.

I sometimes compare the contrast between the path of control and the path oftransformation as the difference between climbing a ladder and taking theelevator.Whenweseeourownactions,thoughts,andintentionsastheprimarymotive force in creating change, we do our best to soldier on up the infiniteladderofconsciousness,climbingtenrungstodayandslippingbackdowneighttomorrow.

Butwhenwe see that consciousness itself is the greatest transformative forceavailable, we simply step into the elevator of insight, hanging out in theunknownandlookingintothemysteryofbeingalive.Whilewedon’tcontrolthetiming,eachtimethedoorsofperceptionopenweemergefromtheelevatoronahigherfloor,withanew,clearerviewoflife.

Ofcourse,attimestheelevatormaygodownaswellasup.Butoncewe’vehadaninsightandseentheviewfromahigherfloor,wecanneverreallyforgetit.

PUTTINGITALLTOGETHER

In thenextchapter,we’ll takeacloser lookat thedeeper intelligenceofMindandthekindnessofthedesign.Beforewedo,hereareafewofthemainideasfromthischapter:

Interventionstendtoaddresssymptomswithoutfundamentallycorrectingthesourceofourproblems–amisunderstandingofwhereourexperienceiscomingfrom.

Aninsightisanewthought,containinginformationandwisdomoutsideourcurrentknowledge.

Insightschangeourworld.

Mind+NewThought+Consciousness=NewReality

Whenwegiveupontryingtocontrolourexperience,wefindourselvesmovingeffortlesslyintohigherlevelsofconsciousness.

5

ORIGINALGRACE

‘Iamthehappiestmanalive.Ihavethatinmethatcanconvertpovertytoriches,adversitytoprosperity.IammoreinvulnerablethanAchilles;fortune

hathnotoneplacetohitme.’

SirThomasBrown

My own first major insight into the inside-out nature of reality came when ItraveledtothatsmalltownneartheCanadianborderandhadmyfirstfour-dayconversationwithDr.KeithBlevens,amemberofGeorgePransky’steam.Iwasconvinced that I was going to learn their secret techniques for dissolvingproblemsand take themhome so that I could incorporate them intomywork.Buttwodaysintoourtimetogether,Irealizedthatallwe’dtalkedaboutwasthenatureofMind,Consciousness,andThought,andhowtheycombinedtocreateourexperienceoflife.Pleasantthoughtheconversationwas,Iwaswaitingwithincreasingimpatienceforhimtogettothepoint.

Bythesecondnight,whenIpoppedarecordingofSydBankstalkingaboutthepowerofThoughtintotheDVDplayerinmyhotelroom,I’djustaboutgivenupon learninganythingofvalue.Then,halfway throughmysecondbeer, Iheardsomethingsoprofoundthat thebeercamespurtingoutmynoseasIburst intofitsoflaughter.

AllSydsaid(andI’vegonebackandplayedtheDVDoveragaintocheck)was:

‘Everyhumanbeinghasinnatementalhealth.’

The reason it struck me as funny was because somehow I knew that it wasabsolutelyandfundamentallytrue.

Ihadbeenadepressed,suicidalteen.AndasIlearnedandpracticedmanyoftheself-helptechniquesthatproliferateinourculture,itgotbetter.Forover15yearsIstudiedandpracticedeverymethodologyIcouldfind tostaveoffdepressionand‘create’positivefeelingsinmybody.AndIbecameconvincedthattheonlythingspreventingmefromslidingback into themisery Ihad fought toothandnail toescapeweremytechniquesandpractices.SoforSydtosaythatmentalhealthwasnaturalwentagainsteverythingI’dlearned–andtaught–inmyfirstforaysintotheworldofself-help.

YetIcouldinstantlyseethetruthofit.Afterall,babiesdon’tneedtherapy.AndwhileIcan’thonestlysayIrememberwhatitfeltliketobeinthewomb,Iknewfromwatchingmyownkidsgrowupthat,otherthanduringperiodsofphysicaldiscomfort,theylivedinaprettycontinualstateofmentalwell-beingforthefirstfewyearsoftheirlives.Inseeingtheoriginalgraceofmyinnatementalhealth,Ifeltas thoughtheburdenofnearly40yearsofstrugglehadbeenliftedoffmyshoulders.

Well-beingisournature.Thatdoesn’tmeanwealwaysfeelgood–anyoneofuscan get caught up in thought at any time, and in so doing become instantlysubjecttoeveryemotionalcolorinthespectrum.Buttosaythatmeansthatwell-beingcomesandgoeswouldbelikesayingthatbecausethereareclouds,thesunisn’talwayspresent.Eveninthedarkesthour,thesunisstillthere–it’sjustthatsometimesthere’ssomethingbetweenusandourclearseeing.

ONHAVINGANOSE

Shortly after I had this insight, a potential client named Richard came tomyofficeandaskedmeifIcouldhelphim.

‘I seepeople all aroundmewhoarehappy and it seems sounfair,’ hebegan.‘I’m not a bad person. I always try to do my best. Don’t I deserve a bit ofhappinessinmylifetoo?’

Tomy dismay, I feltmyself starting to crack up. I tried to stifle the laughterbecauseIknewitwashorribly inappropriate,but Iwoundupsnorting instead.Richardbrieflytookoffense,butIcaughtmybreath,regainedmybearings,and,as gently as I could, pointed out the essential humor in his request. Itwas asthough someone had come tome saying, ‘Can you helpme? I see people allaroundme with noses and it seems so unfair. I’m not a bad person. Don’t Ideservetohaveanoseonmyfacetoo?’

Aswespokefurther,RichardandIexploredsomeoftheotherthingshethoughtheneededtopracticeinordertohave.

‘I’dliketoopenmyheartmore,’hesaid.‘IstheresomethingIcoulddotogetbetteratopeningmyheart?’

At that moment, my then five-year-old daughter Maisy ran into my office,askingwhethershecouldgooutsidetocatchsomefairies.

Isaidyes(afterall,I’mnotanogre),andthenreturnedtomyconversationwithRichard.

‘DoyouthinkMaisyneedstopracticekeepingherheartopen?’Iaskedhim.

‘Well,no,butshe’sjustachild.Shehasn’tlearnedtocloseherheartyet.’

We left those words sitting in the silence for somemoments, which I finallybrokewiththisquotefromArnoldPatentinhisbookMoney:

‘Wedon’tcreateabundance.Abundanceisalwayspresent.Wecreatelimitation.’

We don’t need to create abundance, because abundance is already there.Wedon’tneedtocreatelove,orwell-being,orhappiness,becauselove,well-being,andhappinessarepartofouressentialnature.Wedon’tneedtolearntoopenourheart or connectwith others, because that’s justwhat happenswhenwe don’tstopitfromhappening.

Doyouneedtopracticenotsteppingontheacceleratorofyourcarifyou’dliketo slowdown?Not really–becauseas soonasyounotice thatyou’re theonesteppingontheaccelerator,youcanstopanytimeyoulike.

Similarly, themoment you actually notice you’re closing down your heart orcutting off your good feelings for another person (because, after all, they lefttheirsocksonthefloor,ordidn’tsay‘thankyou,’orranintoyourofficewhenyouwerewitha client),you’llprobably just stop,becauseyouhavean innatecommonsensethattellsyouthatifyoukeepshootingyourselfinthefoot,youmightwanttoputdownthegunbeforeyougoinfortoesurgery.

Thereturntothis‘originalgrace’oflifeisalwaysavailabletous,andtakesnoparticularefforttoattainbecauseitisinfactareturntoournaturalwayofbeing.Here’sallyouneedtoknow:

There’snothingyouneedtodo,be,have,get,change,practice,orlearninordertobehappy,loving,andwhole.

RESTORINGTHEFACTORYDEFAULTS

Ourinnatewell-beingisjustoneofwhatI’vecometorecognizeasthe‘factorydefault settings’ for human beings. I first came up with this analogy afterstruggling to get my computer printer working for nearly a week and finallydecidingIneededprofessionalhelp.GiventhatI’dtriedeverythingIcouldthinkofandeverylittletweakandadditiontothesystemthattheonlineforumshadtooffer,Iwasabitdisappointedwhentheprofessional’shelpwassosimple–hetoldme to click the buttonmarked ‘Restore to default.’ Sure enough, after acouple ofminutes of clicking andwhirring,myprinterwas back online and Iwasleftreflectingonwhattheequivalentofclickingthatbuttonwouldbeforushumanbeings.

Themore I reflected, themore apparent it became tome that somany of thethingswestrivetoachieveinourpersonaldevelopmentareactuallyapartofour‘factorysettings.’Forexample,perhapsthemostbeautifulfeelingavailabletousisthedeepconnectionwecanexperiencewithanotherhumanbeing,abelovedpet, or even the world around us. So this would certainly seem to be worthstrivingandmaybeeven struggling to achieve, a fact towhich themillionsofpeople who continue to search for true love in spite of the seeminglyoverwhelming odds of finding it bear witness. But once again, we have itbackward.

Inordertowanttofeelmoreconnected,wefirsthavetoseparateourselvesout.Asanyonewithyoungchildrenknows,thisgameofindividuationstartsearly,asthe borders of the body start to feel more solid and the words ‘I,’ ‘me,’ and‘mine’starttotakeonmoreandmoremeaningandimportance.

Then, aswe get older,we put upmore boundaries between ourselves and thewhole,definingourselvesasseparatenotjustintermsofourbodybutalsoourreligion,ourethnicity,ourbeliefs,andourvalues.Thisactiveseparationiswhatmakesconnectednessseemsuchaworthygoal.

Butthetruthiswe’realreadyconnectedtolife,becausewe’remadeofthesameenergy as all living things. Like waves in a cosmic ocean, we appear to beseparatewithouteverseparatingfromthewhole.

Or consider how much time is spent in personal and spiritual developmentseminarson‘beingpresent.’Ihaveacompletelyuntestedtheorythateveryten

yearsorsosomeonecomesalongsaying‘Thepresentmomentisagoodthing’injusttherightwayforsocietytogo:‘Holycow,thisisbrilliantlyinsightful–whenwe’renotupinourheadsallthetime,we’remorepowerfulandenjoyourlivesmore!’

Sowe all strive formore now-ness in our life, usingwhichevermeditationormindfulnesspracticeisinvogueinourparticularworld.Yet‘beingherenow’isthe default: we have to think our way out of the present moment, and themomentwestopdoingit,we’rerightbackwherewestarted–rightwherewearesittingnow.

THEINTELLIGENCEBEHINDTHESYSTEM

Acoupleofyearsago,NinaandIspentoursecondhoneymoonontheislandsofBoraBora.Oneday, aSouthAfricanexpatwas complaining tous that itwasdifficulttogetgoodhelponhisvanillaplantation,asthelocalshadreadyaccesstoeverythingtheyneededthereontheislandwithnoneedformoneytogooutandbuyit.

Inthesameway,asweseethatsomuchofwhatwe’restrivingforisthereforthe taking, itmakes less and less sense towork so hard for what we alreadyhave.Whenyoudon’tdrinkratpoison,youdon’tneedanantidote.Andwhenseparatingyourselfoutfromthewhole,planningandrememberingyourwayoutof thepresentmoment, and thinkingyourwayoutofwell-being stop seeminglikegoodideas,youdothemlessandless.Atsomepoint,thesystemresets,andyougetafreshstart.

To better understand how your experience of life can change for the betterwithoutyouhaving todo the changing, imaginewakingup fromanightmare.Onemomentyou’re totally engrossed in fightingoffvampire zombies and thenextyoureyesareopenandthevampirezombiesaregone.Youmaystillhavealittlebitofadrenalinecoursingthroughyourveins,buttherearenolastingafter-effects.Nohealingisnecessary.Youjustgetupandgetonwithyourday.

Inthesameway,nohealingisnecessaryafteranunpleasantorinsecurethought–youjustwakeup(tothefactofyourthinking)andbeforelonganewthoughtcomes along and you have a new experience. While the new thought isn’tnecessarilybetterthantheoldone,whenwejustallowthoughtstopassthroughus,theintelligencebehindthesystemseemstomoveinthedirectionofdeeperthoughtsandgreatermentalhealth.

Thispre-existingintelligenceshowsupinnearlyeveryareaoflife.Forexample,myfamilyandIrecentlyvisitedSequoiaNationalParkinCaliforniaandwenttoanexhibitionon forest fires. It turnsout that in theearlypartof the twentiethcentury,technologyandresourceshadgottentothepointwherethenumberofforest fires inAmerica’snationalparksdropped toanall-time low.But, to thesurpriseofmostof thepeople involved in this firepreventionandsuppressioneffort, their‘success’atcontrollingwildfiresactually ledtoa lesshealthyeco-system.

Whilemostofus thinkofforest firesasabad thing, they’reapartof thepre-existingintelligenceofnature–oneofthewaysinwhicholdgrowthisclearedaway to make room for something new. Modern prevention takes this intoaccount and allows for many naturally occurring wildland fires to run theircourse. They’re closely monitored to prevent them from spreading intopopulated areas, but are allowed to play out their role in the renewal of theforest.

Another example of this pre-existing intelligence is the human body. It’sdesignedtohealitself.IfIcutmyfinger,Idon’tneedtogetoverlyinvolvedintheprocessofclottingtheblood,creatingthescab,orgrowingnewskin.That’sthe intelligence behind the physical system atwork.Whilewe think of feversanddiarrheaandvomitingasbadthings,they’rethebody’swayofeliminatingtoxinsinahurry.It’sallbuiltintothedesign.

AsfarasIcantell,thesamethingistrueofthemind.It’sdesignedtoclearitselfoutallthetimeandtoreturntoquietandclarity.It’slikeaself-cleaningcatlittertray–thecatpoops,thetraysensestheextraweight,andthearmcomesupandclearsthepoopaway.

Nowthemomentyouunderstandthat,you’reoffthehook.Becausethesystemis designed to take care of your mental hygiene, you don’t have to. It’ssometimeshardtotrusttheself-regulatingnatureofthesystemtocleanoutouroldcrappythinkingandreplaceitwithnewthought,buttheintelligencebehindthesystemisalwaysatwork–anditworksthesameforeveryone.

Wefeelourthinking,anditshapesourperceptionsandcreatesourexperienceoflife.Thisistrueregardlessofwherewe’refromorhowworthywethinkweare.Deliveringfreshthinkingisjustanaturalpartofhowthesystemworks.Whenwetrusttheprocessandallowittodoitsjob,ourlifebecomessimplerandourexperiencebecomesricher.

THEKINDNESSOFTHEDESIGN

I heard a lovely illustration of this idea from Robert Kausen, a teacher andconsultantinthisapproachformanyyears.Hewastellingmeaboutafriendofhisfromhighschoolwhowastrainingforhispilot’slicense.

Duringhisfirstsoloflight,helostcontrolofhisPiperCub‘trainerplane’highabovetheground.Themorehetriedtobringtheplanebackunderhiscontrol,themorewildly it span.His conversationwith the towerwent something likethis:

Pilot:Mayday!Mayday!I’velostcontroloftheplane–pleaseadvise!

Tower:Takeyourhandsand feetoff thecontrols. I repeat, takeyourhandsandfeetoffthecontrols!

Pilot:Negative, tower – repeat, I have lost control of the plane! I’m tryingeverythingIcantobringitbackundercontrol,butIjustcan’tdoit!Thisisamatteroflifeanddeath–please,justtellmewhattodo!

Tower:This isamatterof lifeanddeath– takeyourhandsand feetoff thecontrols!Doitnow!

Whattheyoungpilotdidn’tknow(andtheairtrafficcontrollerclearlydid)wasthat trainer planes have a self-righting mechanism built into them.When thepilotletsgoofthecontrols,theplanelevelsitselfout.Oncetheplaneisbackonanevenkeel, thepilotcantakeoveragainandsteertheplanebacktosafety–whichisexactlywhathappenedinthecaseofRobert’syoungfriend.

Sohowdoesthisapplytous?

TheprincipleofMindseemstowork throughus in thedirectionofhealthandwell-being. It’s a sort of spiritual immune system that will bring a return topeacethemomentwestepoutoftheway.Iwouldn’teventhinkoftryingtohealmyowncutfinger;Ineedn’ttrysohardtohealmywoundedpsyche.

Thereasonsofewofusgettoexperiencethatpowerworkinginourlifeisthatwe’resobusytryingtofixeverythingforourselves.Andironically,likethepilotoverworking the controls of a plane designed to right itself, our constant

affirmationsandinterventionsoftengetinthewayofourmind’sreturntoclarityandhealth.

Wetrysohardtoremembertolivebythewisdomandinsightsofothersthatweforget the source of thatwisdom is inside us aswell. Insights are the naturalside-effects of living with a relatively quiet mind and a relatively beautifulfeeling.Forgetthewords,staywiththefeeling,andtheinsightswillcontinuetounfold.

I know it can be difficult trying not to fix thingswhen you’re convinced thatthey’re broken, and even more difficult when you’re convinced that they’regettingworse.Butinaquietermoment(andweallhaveourquietermoments),considerthepossibilitythathealthypsychologicalfunctioningisthedefaultandyournaturalstateispeace.Andifyou’rewillingtotakeyourhandsandfeetoffthecontrols,youjustmightfindyourselfreturningtothisnaturalstatemoreandmoreandmoreofthetime.

Whenyoudo,you’llknowbeyondashadowofadoubtthatthatplaceofpeaceisyourpsychologicalandspiritualhome.

PUTTINGITALLTOGETHER

In the next chapter, we’ll take a closer look at that place of peace – themeditativestate.Untilthen,hereareafewremindersofsomeofthekeyideasinthischapter:

Everyoneofushasinnatementalhealth.

There’snothingweneedtodo,be,have,get,change,practice,orlearninordertobehappy,loving,andwhole.

Connection,presence,andwell-beingareapartofour‘factorysettings.’

Theequivalentofourresetbuttonisadeeperinsightintothenatureofthehumanexperience.

Thereisanintelligencebehindthesystemandakindnesstothedesign.

Whenweletgooftryingtocontrolourthoughts,thispre-existingintelligencewillleadusbacktowardourinnatewisdomandwell-being.

6

THEVALUEOFANEMPTYMIND

‘Leavethinkingtotheonewhogaveintelligence.InSilencethereiseloquence.Stopweaving,andwatchhowthepatternimproves.’

Rumi

Forseveralyearsearlyoninmyteachingcareer,Itoldaversionofthefollowingstoryatthebeginningofmytrainings…

Onceuponatime,astudenttraveledfarandwideinordertoexpandhisknowledgeofthepath.Muchtohisdelight,onedayhewasgrantedanaudiencewithanotedZenmaster.Whentheysatdowntogether,hesharedthemanythingshe’dbeenstudyingonhisjourney.

Afterlisteningpolitelyfornearlyanhour,themastercalledfortea.Asalways,theteawaspreparedaccordingtoanelaboratesetofrituals.Whenitcametimetopour,themasterhimselfperformedthehonors.

However,tothestudent’sdismay,themasterdidn’tstoppouringwhentheteacupwasfull.Hecontinuedtopourthegoldenliquiduntilitbeganspillingoverthesidesofthecupandontothesaucer.Thestudentdidn’twanttobesopresumptuousastocorrectthemaster,butwhentheteabegantopourovertheedgesofthesaucerandpuddleonthefloor,hefelthehadnochoice.

‘Excuseme,ohvenerableone,’hesaid,carefultoobservetheformsofrespect,‘butyoumuststoppouring.Thecupisfull–itcantakeonnomoretea.’

‘Ah,’saidthemasterwithatwinkleinhiseye.‘Likethiscup,yourmindisfullofyourownideasandaccumulatedlearning.Ifyouwanttolearnsomethingnew,firstyoumustemptyyourcup!’

Iusedthestoryasawayofencouragingpeopletoputtheiroldthinkingtooneside and ‘get stupid’ so that they could approach learning new things with a‘beginner’s mind.’ But it was only when I began studying the inside-outunderstanding that Icaughtaglimpse intoafarmorepowerfulmeaning to thestory.Ratherthantryingtomakeroomforanewphilosophytobepouredinbyan‘expert’inthisfieldorthat,thepointofemptyingourmindissothatitcanbefilledwith insight fromthenatural intelligence thatexistsbeyondourpersonalthinking.

While I intuitively recognized thevalueof ‘gettingstupid,’ Iwasalso fiercelyresistanttoit.MymotherhasaPh.D.inorganicchemistryfromtheUniversityofBrussels,mybrotherstartedMITat16,andmysisterstartedHarvardat17.Ourfamilyvaluedintellect,andIwasdamnedifIwasgoingtoputthattooneside.Afterall,Ireasonedtomyself,myintellectiswhat’sgottenmewhereIamtoday.

So, when I hired a Principles-based practitioner named KristenMansheim toassistmeinintegratingthisunderstandingintomywork,Ispentwaytoomuchtimetryingtopersuadeherofthevalueofintellectingeneralandofmyintellectinparticular.

Whatlostmetheargumentwasn’tanythingshesaid,butrathersomethingIfelt:in the midst of my repeated intellectual thrusts into her annoyingly non-judgmental listening, I was suddenly overwhelmed by a deep and profoundfeelingofpeaceandquiet.

In the lingering silence, I saw two things quite clearly.The firstwas that thissenseofpeacewassomethingIrecognizedashavingbeenpresentinseveralofmy most life-changing moments. The second was that even if I’d neverexperienced it before, I would gladly have traded a thousand intellectualvictoriesforevenfiveextraminutesspentrestinginthatworldofdeeperfeeling.

The transformative conversation that followed unfolded over several months,and I came to refer to our sessions together as ‘speed bumps’ for theway inwhichtheyallowedmythinkingtoslowdownandadeeperintelligencetoflow

throughthecracksinmymuchballyhooedintellect.

Forthefirst40yearsofmylifeI’dbeentrainedtousemymindlikeabuzzsaw,filling it up with information and cutting through the weak points in otherpeople’sargumentswithoutevernoticingthescarsI’daccumulatedonmyownpsyche along the way. Now I began to see the value of listening withoutanythingonmymind,allowingmyself tobecomereflectiveandreceptive toawisdom that seemed to exist somewhere beyond the reach of my ownexperience.

ACCESSINGINNATEWISDOM

Of course, once I saw the power of this deeper intelligence, the next questionbecame how to slow down my thoughts to the point where I could actuallybenefitfromitonaregularbasis.

By this time George Pransky had become my mentor in the inside-outunderstanding,andhesharedwithmehismetaphorfortheworkingsofthemindasbeinglikethetachometerofaracingcar.Generallyspeaking,driversusethetachometertoletthemknowwhentheengineisfunctioningoptimallyandwhenit’s time to shift gear.Now imagine that instead ofmeasuring revolutions perminute,RPM,ourmentaltachometermeasuresthoughtsperminute,orTPM.

Let’ssaythatourbrain’sTPMtachometerrunsonascalesomethinglikethis:

0–50TPM:Deeperwisdom/beautifulfeelings

50–100TPM:Healthyfunctioning/goodfeelings

100–200TPM:Beginningtooverload/mildstress

200–300TPM:Spinningoutofcontrol/persistentstress

Over300TPM:Mentalburnout/extremestress

So, ifwewant tomake the journey from stress to peace and fromburnout towisdom,weneed to findaway forour thinking to slowdown.We intuitivelyknow this, which is why meditation and hypnosis have become increasinglypopularinWesterncultureoverthelast60yearsandhavebeenstandardpracticeinEasternandOceanicculturesforseveralmillennia.

Themeditative state ofmind is the closest thing to a ‘magicwand’ that I’vecomeacrossin25yearsofexploringthehumanpotential.Ithealsthebody.It’sthegatewaytodeeperwisdom.Itopensupaworldofdeeperfeelings.Itgivesusglimpsesintothenatureoftheuniverse.

Most people who understand its power have learned to access it throughdisciplineandpracticeovertime.Infact,peopleputanextraordinaryamountofeffortintoattainingandmaintainingapeacefulstateofmind.Theytrytoprotecttheirmindfromdisturbancebynotwatching thenews,not reading thepapers,and not allowing negative people into their life. They employ meditative

techniques designed to still the mind through inquiry, mantras, andvisualizations.Ortheyshifttheirattentionawayfromtheirmindandontotheirbody, using intense exercise, gentle movement, or focusing on the breath tochangetheirstate.

Each one of these practices can be an effective way of experiencing greaterpeace of mind and the insights that come with it. But there’s a differencebetweenhavingameditationpracticeandbeinginameditativestateofmind.

If you want to slow down your car engine, you do it by not pressing on theaccelerator; ifyouwant toslowdownyour thoughts,youdo itbynot revvingthemup.Whichmeansthatthere’snothingyoucandothatwillquietthemindfasterthandoingnothingtoquietthemind.

Andwhenyou recognizemeditation as your natural state, there’s nothingyouneedtodotoattainit.It’snotonlyrightwhereyouaresittingnow;it’stheonewho’sdoingthesitting.

MOREPERIODS,FEWERCOMMAS

For a recovering intellectualwho prefers to use threewordswhen onewouldprobablydo, this has at timesposed an interestingdilemma.Sometimes I stillwanttoanalyzeeveryaspectoftheuniverseinminutedetail;atothertimesIjustwant toenjoybeingalive.SoIwas intriguedwhensomefriendscame tovisithavingjustreturnedfroman‘intensive’wherethey’dspentseveraldaysnoticingthatineverysinglemomentwe’relivinginthefeelingofourthinking.

WhenIaskedthemwhatthey’dgottenfromtheexperience,theyreflectedforafew moments, and then replied, ‘More periods, fewer commas.’ (Actually,they’reEnglishandtheysaid,‘Morefullstops,fewercommas,’butIthoughtI’dtranslate…)

WhenIaskedthemtoelaborate,theysaidthatwhattheywerenoticingwasanabsence of the running commentary on experience that usually goes on in thebackgroundofthemind.

Forexample:

‘I’mupsetthattheydidthat,andtheyneedtostop,orelseitmeansthattheydon’tloveme…’

became

‘I’mupset.’

And

‘I’msuchanidiot,butthat’sjudgmental,Ishouldn’tbesojudgmental,afterall,I’vebeenlearningallthesewonderfulthingsabouthowthemindworks,andIwanttobeagoodperson,buthowdoesthatworkwhenIdosomethingstupid,amIjustsupposedtosithereandnotbeatmyselfupaboutitandhopethatI’llmagicallylearnnottobesuchanidiotinthefuture?’

became

‘I’msuchanidiot.’

The resultant mental quiet they were experiencing was equivalent to havingspentweeksonameditationretreat,somethingbothofthemhaddoneinthepastaspartoftheirsearchforabetterandmoremeaningfullife.

EMPTY-HEADED,FILLEDWITHJOY

Forsomereason,thesimplicityoftheirexperienceremindedmeofaninterviewI’doncereadwhereOscar-winningactorSpencerTracywasaskedthesecretofgreatacting.Hisresponse?‘Knowyourlinesanddon’tbumpintothefurniture.’

While that remarkmaywellhavebeencompletely tongue incheek, itactuallypointstosomethingquitefundamentalabouthowwetendtohabituallyuseourmind.Inordertomakesenseofwhatthatis,I’dlikeyoutodoalittlethoughtexperiment:

Thinkofatleastthreetimeswhenyouwerecompletelylostinthoughtandithadouter-worldconsequences.

Forexample,manyofusgetlostinthoughtwhiledriving,oronabusortrain.Wedaydreamaboutthefuture,replayconversationsinourhead,andgenerallyallowourbraintotakeusanywherebutwhereweare.Mostofthetimewegetaway with it, and the disappearance of the bus, train, or motorway from ourconsciousnesshasnoouter-worldimpact.Buthaveyouevermissedyourstop,oryourexit,orlostsightofthebumperofthecarinfrontofyou?

Orperhapsyouwereat apartyorbusinessmeetingandwere socaughtup inyourthinkingthatwhenintroductionsweremade,youtotallymissedeveryone’snameandhadtodancearounditfortherestoftheeveninginthehopethatthenameswouldspontaneouslycomeupagaininconversation.

My own most embarrassing ‘thought-full’ moment was years ago when IauditionedforaplayinLondon.Thescenecalledforaproposalofmarriage,andItookoffmyweddingringtouseitasaprop.Iwashalfwaybacktothetrainstation,runningthrougheverythingthathadbeensaidattheauditiontoseeifIcouldfigureouthowwellorpoorlyI’ddone,whenIrealizedIdidn’thavemyring.

Irushedbacktothetheater,interruptingthenextactor’saudition,andeveryonefromthedirectortothecleanersetaboutlookingformyring–untiltheactressIhadproposed tosaid, ‘What’s thatonyourhand?’Tomyhorror,myweddingringwasrightwhere it shouldhavebeen–on the ring fingerofmy lefthand.Sufficeittosay,Ididn’tgetthepart,butI’vealwaystakensomesmallcomfortinthefactthattheactorwhoseauditionIinterruptedgotcastinmystead.

How about your thought-fullmoments?Have you ever gone looking for yourglassesonlytofindthemperchedonthetopofyourhead?OrgoneintoworkorschoolonlytofinditwasaSaturday?Evertriedtogetintothewrongcar,ortofix a ‘broken’ piece of electrical equipment only to find it wasn’t actuallyswitchedonorpluggedin?

Thereasoneveryonehasatleastafewofthesestoriesintheirarsenalisthatweallspendaninordinateamountoftimethinkingaboutstuff.Wethinkaboutwhatwehadfordinnerlastnightandwhatwe’regoingtohaveforlunchtoday.Wethink about what our partner really meant when they said, ‘I love you,’ in aslightly distractedmanner, andwe think aboutwhetherwe reallymeant it thelasttimewesaidit.

Infact,it’sbecomesonormaltoalwayshavesomething(orevenlotsofthings)on our mind that we’ve stopped noticing how unnatural it is. After all, weweren’tbornwithverymuchonourmind.But somewherealong theway,welearnedtoliveasecondlifeinourhead.Andinsodoing,webegantomissoutontheincrediblejoy,insight,richnessanddepthoffeelingavailabletousinthefirstone.

That’snottosaythatthinkingisbad.Thecapacityforcriticalthinkingplaysanimportant role in theevolutionofour societyand thedevelopmentof science,mathematics,philosophy,language,andmore.Butifyoufindyourselfbumpingintothefurnitureorgettingupsetaboutthewaysomeoneyou’llnevermeethasparkedtheircar inapubliccarpark,chancesareyourcritical thinkinghasrunamok.

Inotherwords,Thoughtmakesagreatservantbutaterriblemaster.Fortunately,learning tomaster your thinking is as simple as understanding how themindworksatadeeperlevel.

Imagine themindasbeingapipeline for freshThought, flowingstraight fromthedeeperintelligencebehindlifeintoourconsciousness,whereweexperienceit as our personal reality.When the pipeline is open and Thought is flowingfreely,our experience is fedbyagentle streamofnew thoughts, insights, andcreative ideas. When the pipeline is closed or clogged up with our ownregurgitated thinking,weexperienceanendless rehashofwhat’salreadystuckinside it. Faced with this log jam of stale, repetitive thinking, we start toexperienceboredom,irritation,andasenseoffutilityandevenemptiness.

Ifwedon’tunderstandthatallthat’shappeningiswe’vegottenlostinaworldofour own thinking, the temptation is to ‘fix’ our experience by going out andcreatingourownbestimitationsofloveandhappinessandfulfillment.Ifwedounderstand,thenweknowthatwithinmomentsofallowingourmindtoemptyandourthoughtstosettle,we’llonceagainfeel theflowofthedeeperriveroflife.

Sowhyis‘Knowyourlinesanddon’tbumpintothefurniture’suchgreatadviceforlife?

Becausewhenwe‘knowourlines’–thatis,weunderstandthatourconnectiontothedeeperintelligencebehindthemindiscontinuallywritingthebestpossiblescript for our life –we relax into themoment and never have toworry aboutwhatwe’lldoorsaynext.Andthelesswehaveonourmind,thelesslikelyweare to absent-mindedly bump into the furniture of our circumstances and themoreeffortlesslywe’llnavigateourlife.

PUTTINGITALLTOGETHER

SydBanksoncewrote:

‘Letyourmindbestill,forthewisdomyouseekislikethatbutterflyoveryonder.Ifyoutrytocatchitwithyourintellect,itwillsimplyflyaway.Ontheotherhand,ifyoucanstillyourmind,someday,whenyouleastexpectit,itwilllandinthepalmofyourhand.’

Aswemoveontothenextpartofourconversation,considertakingsometimeoff from your own thinking. Let go of all your concerns and cares for a fewhoursandseewhatcomesintofill theemptyspace.Worstcase,you’llhaveapleasantreadwithlessbackgroundnoisethanyou’reusedto.Bestcase,you’llgetaninsightintothekindoflifewewerealldesignedtolive.

In thefinalsectionof thebookwe’llexplore theimplicationsof the inside-outunderstandingonperformance,results,andthewayweliveourday-to-daylives.Butbeforewedo,here’saquickreviewofsomeinsightsfromthischapter:

Whenourmindisempty,itcanbefilledwithinsightfromthenaturalintelligencethatexistsbeyondourpersonalthinking.Thisnaturalintelligenceisourinnatewisdom.

Whenwelistenwithoutanythingonourmind,webecomereceptivetoawisdomthatcomesfrombeyondthereachofourownexperience.

Meditation–aquietmindandabeautifulfeeling–isournaturalstate.

There’snothingwecandothatwillquietthemindfasterthandoingnothingtoquietthemind.

Thelesswehaveonourmind,thebetterlifegets.

7

LEARNINGHOWTOTHRIVE

‘Theonlytrickinlifeistobegratefulforyourhighsandgracefulwithyourlows.’

GeorgePransky

ForthepastsevenyearsI’vehostedaweeklyradioshowwherepeoplephoneinforcoachingoneverythingfromhealthtohappinessandfromstartingabusinessto starting a family.Newcomers to the show are often surprised that I almostnevergiveadvice,nomatterhowchallenging thecaller’scircumstancesmightappeartobe.

Despitethisfact,callersinevitablyleavetheshowfeelinglighter,withagreatersenseofclarityabout their situationandoftenwith thenext stepsofanactionplan already in place. To better understand how that works, consider thefollowingscenario:

You’reenjoyingarelaxingdayinthecountryside,walkingalongadirtroadafewmilesfromthenearesttown,whenacarcomesscreechingaroundthecornerandskidstoastop,missinghittingyoubyinches.It’scakedinmudfromtoptobottom,andwhenitstops,someofthemudcomesflyingoffandhitsyouintheface.

Asyouwipethegrungeoffyourglasses,younoticethatyoucanbarelyseeintothecarthroughthethickcoatingofmudonthewindshield.Layersofglopfalltothegroundasthedriverrollsdownhiswindowandhurriedlyapologizes,launchingintoastoryabouthiswifeandchildren

beinginhospitalinthenearbytownandhisnearlydrowningwhenhedrovehiscarofftheroadandintoaswampinhishastetobeattheirside.

Whatadvicewouldyougivehim?

Most people find this a fairly easy question to answer. Nearly everyonerecognizestheneedfor thismantoslowdownand,at theveryleast,cleanhiswindshieldbeforemakinghiswaytotown.

Manypeoplefeelcompassionforhimandhisplight,andanyhardshiphenearlycausedthemisquicklyforgotten.Somepeopleevenoffertodrivehimintotownthemselves, recognizing he’s in no fit state to be doingmuch of anything, letalonegettingbackbehindthewheelofatwo-tonlethalmissile.

What’s lessobvious tomostpeople is that theexactsamething isgoingon inprettymuchanyscenarioinlifewherewefeellostorstuck:

We’re‘drivingblind,’tryingtofindourwayforwardbylisteningtopeopleshoutingdirectionsatusinsteadofslowingdownandlettingthewindshieldofourmindclearsowecanseethewayforwardforourselves.

We’re‘spinningourwheels’inthemudofcircumstances,alternatingbetweentryingtoblastourwayoutbyrevvingourengineandgivingupindespairaswefindourselvesstuckeverdeeperinthemuck.

We’regoingfasterandfastertomeettheneedsandwantsofothers,evenwhenwemightdoirreparabledamagetoourbodyintheprocess.

Andthisistheinherentproblemwitheventhebestadvice:

Untilweregainourbearings,wecan’tuseit;onceweregainourbearings,wedon’tneedit.

BEINGONLINE

Regardlessofourpersonalities andpersonalhistories,we all havewithinus adeeper essence that’s untouchedby conditioning and circumstances.Wecouldcallthispartofus‘thelightwithin’or‘theinnerflame’andit’sthesourceofourfundamental sense of inspiration, crackle, and aliveness. Some of my clientshave called it their ‘twinkle’ – the spark of life inside them that appears as atwinkleintheeyeontheoutside.

This innerglowismadeofpureConsciousness,butwhenwegetcaughtupinthe dream of thought, we get cut off from it. Most of us don’t notice thisdisconnectionatfirst,exceptasavaguesenseofsomethingnotbeingquiteright.Workjustisn’tasfulfillingasitoncewas,ourpartnerisn’tquiteashandsomeorbeautiful or loving aswe thought theywere, and don’t even get us started onwhatmightbewrongwithus…

Becausewe’vebeenconditionedfrombirthtobelieveinthemythofanoutside-inworld,weassumethepathbacktowell-beingandjoyandpeaceofmindmustbe through getting a better job or a better partner or working on becoming abetter person. The irony is that the harderwework on changing ourselves inordertochangethewaywefeel,themoredistantwebecomefromourtrueself,andthemoreimportant itseemstoworkonall thosethings,andthemorelostwebecome.

So, regardless ofwhat ‘problem’we thinkwe have, our only real problem isfeeling cut off from our innate wisdom and well-being. And the moment wereconnecttothatsourceenergy,ourproblemsstopbeingsoproblematicandwemoveintoanewreality.

InmyLearningHowtoThriveretreats,Icallthisnaturalstateofconnectiontothewhole‘beingonline.’It’sthespaceofrelativeclarityandwell-beingwherewe have access to both our personal database of knowledge and the deeperwisdomofMind.

Whenwe’reonline,wecanbeassuredthatwhatevercomesthroughusislikelytobeofuse.Atthesetimes,intuitionsandinsightsflowthroughourmindlikegigabytesthroughadatacable.

Whenwe’re offline, feeling uncomfortable, stressed, pressured, scared, or just

numb,we get caught up in trying to figure things out,work them through, oroverwhelmthemwithourbrilliance.

Insimpleterms,beingonlinefeelsbetter–it’sthatquieter,deeperfeelingI’vebeen pointing to throughout our time together. People describe it as clarity,contentment, happiness, ease, well-being, or even peace. In the quiet of thatdeeper feeling,wecaneasilyhear thestill smallvoicewithin.This is thewayourmindisdesignedtowork–asaclearchanneltoourhigherwisdom.

Here’sanexampleofhowatypicaldayinthelifemightplayoutfromthesetwodifferentlevelsofclarity:

Youwakeupinthemorningfeelingalittlebittired.Beforeyouleaveforwork,yourpartnerremindsyouinnouncertaintermsthatyouagreedtotakethekidstopracticeandrehearsalafterschool,althoughyou’reprettysurethatconversationneverhappened,andifithad,youwouldneverhaveagreedtoitinthefirstplace.

Assoonasyoulogontoyoure-mailatwork,you’refacedwiththreeurgentmessagesaboutthreecriticalprojects,eachsayingthatstrategicdecisionsneedtobemadebeforetheendofthedayifnotsooner.

Aquicklookatyourcalendarshowsacompletelyfullscheduleandyourealizethatyouwouldneedtostayatworkuntilnearlymidnighttogeteverythingdone(andthatdoesn’tincludeleavinginthemiddleoftheafternoontodriveyourkidsaround).

Howareyougoingtohandleit?

Ifyouactuncheckedinan‘offline’stateofmind,you’relikelytoturneachoneofyourdailydramasintoacrisis.Youandyourpartnerwillbeateachother’sthroatsoverthechildrenandyou’lleachbewonderinghowtheothercanbesoinconsiderate.Eachofyourworkcolleagueswillbecomethevillainasyoutrytoplay the hero, working all the hours God sends to save the day whilesimultaneouslybemoaningthefactthatyou’resurroundedbyincompetents.

Nowimaginebeingonlineandlivingthroughtheexactsameday.Yourecognizethatyourpartner’shavingabaddayandtheimpacttheir‘offline’stateofmindis having on their communication. Their tone of voice and rolled eyes havebecomenon-issuesbythetimeyougettowork,andyoumakeamentalnoteto

callthemlatertocheckinonhowthey’redoing.

You lookpast theurgency in your colleagues’ e-mails and seewhichprojectsreallyneedtobeactedonimmediatelyandwhichwillkeepuntilthenextdayorevenlater.

Ratherthantrytoforceadecisionifyoudon’tknowwhattodoaboutthekids,you put that one on the back burner, trusting that the incredible resource ofinnatewisdomwillprovideyouwithananswerby the timeyouactuallyneedone.

Andyou recognize that allyoucando fornow is allyoucando fornowanddon’tputadditionalpressureorstressonyourselftoplaytheheroandsavetheday.

When we’re online, we see that any situation can be handled through acombination of common sense and insightful action.Any changes to bemadebecome obvious, andwhile not always easy, remarkably straightforward. Lifestopsseemingsooverwhelming,andtheworldstopsseeminglikeaproblemtobesolved.

Sohowdowedoit?Howdowegoonline?

Aswithsomanyofthethingswe’vebeendiscussing,there’snothingtodo:

Being‘online’isournaturalstate.

Wedon’t need toworry about learningor practicing techniques to get or staythere,becausethemomentourmindclears,evenif it’sonlyforamoment,weautomaticallyreturntoourfactorydefault.

Understandingthatwe’llalwaysgetbackonlinewhenourthinkingslowsdowntakesthepressureoff–it’snotuptoustomanageourstate.Thisallowsustotakeadvantageofourstateofmindwhenit’shigh,stay in thegamewhenit’slow,andnotwastemuchmentalorphysicalenergytryingtochange,control,or‘fix’itinbetweentimes.

Meanwhile,we’lldolessdamageintheworld.Inmyexperience,thisisoneofthe most beneficial and least considered implications of the inside-outunderstanding–recognizingtheroleofThoughtincreatingexperiencemakesus

lessinclinedtorunamokwhenwe’vegoneoffline.Insteadofblamingourjob,ourpartner,ourkids,ortheuniverseingeneralforourproblems,werecognizethatbutforourthinking,we’dbehavingacompletelydifferentperceptionandexperienceofoursituation.Consequently,there’snothingtobedoneotherthanthebasicsofwhatneedsdoing.

GOODWILLHUNTING

OnedayIwastalkingtoayoungmanwho’ddroppedoutofcollegeasaresultof a depression that had gone on for several months. He was now feelingdoomedtoliveouttherestofhisyearsinmisery.WhenIaskedhimtocatalogwhathadactuallychangedinhislifeduringhismonthsofmalaise,heaskedmewhatImeant.

‘Well,didyoudropoutofschoolorgetkickedout?Thatis,ifyouwantedtore-enroll,couldyou?’

Hethoughtaboutitforafewmomentsandthenacknowledgedthathewouldbeabletogobackifhedecidedto.

‘Doyoustillhaveyourjob?’Iasked.

‘For now – they’ve let me know they’re unhappy with the drop-off in myperformance,butsofarthey’rewillingtowaitformetogetbackonmygame.’

‘Howaboutyourgirlfriend?Hassheleftyouyet?’Iasked,smiling.

He looked atme a bit incredulously, then smiled back. ‘For some reason,’ hesaidwryly,‘shestillseemstolikeme.’

‘Then,’Iconcluded,‘itseemstomethatalthoughyou’reabitworseforwear,yourlifeisstillinprettygoodshape.’

Asheregainedhisbearingsandfoundhiswaybackonline,hebecamemoreandmoregratefulforthefactthathehadn’tdonetoomuchdamagetohislifewhilestrugglingwithhisthoughtsandemotions.

***

Oneofthegreatironiesofthehumanconditionisthatweseemmostmotivatedtomakedramaticchangesatpreciselythemomentswhenwe’releastequippedto do so.We get angry and want to change the world, but in our anger andfrustrationwealienate theverypeoplewhocouldhelpus toachieveouraims.Thenwefeelinsecureandaloneandthinkthatnowwouldbeagoodtimetosortthingsoutwithourpartnerorchildrenorfriends.

In fact,oneof themost reliableways tospot thatyou’vegoneoffline iswhenyoufeelcompelledtotakedramaticactiontochangeaperson,situation,orevenyourwholelife‘onceandforall.’

Thetruthisweallloseourbearingsfromtimetotime.Wegetcaughtupindarkthoughtsoralowmoodandfindtheworldaharshandunforgivingplace.Totheextent that we can see these times for what they are – momentary or evenextendedperiodsofbeingofflineandoffourgame–wecan limit thedamagewedotoourrelationships,ourcareer,andourlife.

Instead of following through on the seemingly urgent directives of our owninsecurethinking,wecaninsteadstepbackandwaitforourthoughtsandfeelingleveltorise.Then,whenwegobackonlineandarefeeling‘moreourselves,’wecanonceagaintrustourthinking,takeappropriateaction,andmoveforward.

And when we do, we thrive. We’re more graceful with our lows and moregrateful for our highs. And in that space of deeper understanding, we gain adeeperrespectforthenatureoflifeandthegreatunfolding.

PUTTINGITALLTOGETHER

Inthenextchapter,we’lltakealookatthedeeperimplicationsoftheinside-outunderstandingforhowweapproachthegameoflifeandtheparadoxofresults.Butbeforewedo,hereareafewofthekeyideasfromthissection:

Theproblemwithadviceisthatuntilweregainourbearings,wecan’tuseit;onceweregainourbearings,wedon’tneedit.

Weallhavewithinusaninnerflame.ThisistheglowofpureConsciousness.

Being‘online’isournaturalstate.

Understandingthatwe’llgetbackonlinethemomentourthinkingslowsdownallowsustotakeadvantageofourstateofmindwhenit’shigh,stayinthegamewhenit’slow,andnotwastemuchmentalorphysicalenergytryingtochange,manage,control,or‘fix’itinbetweentimes.

8

THEPARADOXOFRESULTS

‘Thegreatsourceofboththemiseryanddisordersofhumanlifeseemstoarisefromoverratingthedifferencebetweenonepermanentsituationandanother…Someofthesesituationsmay,nodoubt,deservetobepreferredtoothers,butnoneofthemcandeservetobepursuedwiththatpassionateardor

whichdrivesustoviolatetheruleseitherofprudenceorofjustice,ortocorruptthefuturetranquilityofourminds,eitherbyshamefromtheremembranceofourownfolly,orbyremorseforthehorrorofourown

injustice.’

AdamSmith

BeforeIgainedsomeinsightintotheinside-outnatureofexperience,Iusedtoassume that conditions and circumstances had inherent emotional feelingsattachedtothem.TradinginvolatilefinancialmarketsorworkinginanERwereinherentlyhigh-pressure,high-stressjobs.Gettingwhatyouwantwouldalwaysmakeyouhappy.Beingrichandthinmeantyouwouldbeconfident.

BecausethecreativepowerofThoughtwaslargelyinvisibletome,Iattributedmy feelings (and everyone else’s) to what I could see around me. And thatinnocent and seemingly innocuous misunderstanding is what actually liesbeneathalmosteveryproblemwehaveinourlife.

Becausewethinkourhappinesscomesfromgettingwhatwewant,wepursueourgoalsatthecostofourrelationships,ourhealth,andourspiritualwell-being.Whenwegetwhatwewantandwe’restillnothappy,weassumetheproblemisthatwe’restillnotdoingenough,sowepushevenharderandendupevenfurtherawayfromtheexperienceofhappiness

weactuallywant.

Becausewethinkthatoursadnesscomesfrombeingonourown,wemakeill-foundedchoicesaboutthepeoplewegetintorelationshipswith.Then,whenwethinkourangerandfrustrationarecomingfromourpartner,wetrytochangethemorswapthemforadifferentmodelinsteadoflookingtoThoughtasthesourceofourexperience.

Becausewethinkthatourfeariscausallylinkedtocertainlifecircumstances,wedoeverythingwecantoavoidand/orprotectourselvesfromthosecircumstances.

Yet themomentwesee that every feeling is just the shadowofa thought,westopbeingscaredofourfeelingsandjustfeelthem.

Webegintovalue‘negative’feelingsasmuchaspositiveonesfortheinsightstheygiveus intoourstateofmindandhowrealourreality is looking tousatanygivenmoment.Andbecause life doesn’t look so scary,wedon’twork sohardtomakeitfittheidealizedpicturesinourhead.Werelaxandbegintoenjoyourselvesmore.We’re free toexpressmoreofournaturalcreativityandwell-being.

Thisiswhyoneof thebiggestshifts thatpeoplemakewhentheybeginseeingthe inside-out nature of experience is from being primarily results oriented tobeingmore innerdirected. It’snot that resultsno longermatter– it’s just thatthose results stop validating or invalidating our value andworth in theworld.Ironically, this ‘take it or leave it’ attitude toward resultsmakes it easier thanevertocreatethem.

When we take the pressure off ourselves to produce results at any cost, andinstead rest inour innatewell-being, enjoyingour life, followingourwisdom,andlookingwithinforadeeperunderstandingofhowitallworks,thingsoftenseemstounfoldmorebeautifullythanwecouldeverhaveimagined.Westarttonoticeallsortsofsynchronicitiesandserendipities,andoutcomesthatmayhaveeludedusforyearsbegintohappenseemingly‘allbythemselves.’

Yetthemomenttheresultswe’vebeenwaitingforstarttoshowup,webecometempted to throw ourselves right back into the outside-in, action-orientedparadigm that makes creating specific results seem to matter more than ouroverall experience of being alive. If we succumb to the illusion, we take

ourselvesoutofthefoundational,formlessspacefromwhichthoseresultshavebeeneffortlesslycreated.

Andthisraisesaveryinterestingquestion:

Inaworldwheregettingwhatwewantmayormaynotleadtohappiness,losingthebiggamedoesn’thavetohurt,andotherpeopledon’thavethe

powertomakeushappyormiserable(evenifthey’rerelatedtous),howdoweknowwhatcoursetosetinlife?

Since‘there’isn’tinherentlybetterthan‘here,’thedirectionweheadinbecomesalmostasarbitraryashowlongwegiveourselvestogetthere.

Similarly,theideaofputtingpressureonourselvestostriveforourgoalsnowsothatwecanfeeltherushofreachingthemlaterisasbizarreandmisguidedalifestrategyashittingourselvesinthefacebecauseitfeelsgoodwhenwestop.

Thispoints towhat isperhapsoursociety’smostunproductiveandill-foundedbias: the notion that happiness can only come via success and at the cost ofstruggle,stress,andsacrifice.

Inotherwords,accordingtothispoorlyconceivedmathematicalequation:

Struggle+Stress+Sacrifice=Success=Happiness

or,tosimplifyitevenfurther:

Unhappiness=Success=Happiness

whichultimatelyleavesuswiththeoxymoronicformula:

Unhappiness=Happiness

Butwhenwebegintoseethatwe’retheonesmakinguptheconditionsforourownsuccessandhappinessandthendoingourbest tofulfill them, itopensupthepossibilityofplayingthegameinabrandnewway.

AWHOLENEWWAYOFBEINGINTHEWORLD

Whenourkidswereyounger,NinaandIwouldenjoygoingalongtowatchthemcompeteineverythingfrombaseballgamestosackracesattheschoolfair.Thereason we enjoyed the competition was because it really didn’t matter to uswhetherourkidsdidwellorpoorlyorwhethertheywonorlost.Whentheydidwell,wewouldgo,‘Yaaaay–let’sgogetsomeicecream!’Iftheydidpoorly,wewouldsay,‘Awwwww–let’sgogetsomeicecream!’

Oneof themostsignificant implicationsof theinside-outunderstandingis thatbut forour thinking, there’sno challenge in life that couldn’t bemetwith thesamelevelofjoyfulindifference.Andcontrarytoourculturalexpectation,thatlackofself-generatedpressurefreesusuptoperformatourbestandenjoythegamefully.

Imaginethefollowingscenario:

You’reofferedajobworkingatacasino.Inordertoencourageotherpeopletoplay,you’repaid$500anighttogamblewiththehouse’smoney.You’regiven$50,000inchipsatthestartoftheevening;attheendofthenight,youturninwhateverchipsyouhaveleftandleavewithyour$500inyourpocket.

Whatwould that actually be like?Chances are if youwere able to quadrupleyourmoneyyou’dbeexcitedatthetime,butattheendofthenight,afterturninginyourchips,you’dforgetallaboutit.Similarly,ifyoulostitall,you’dlikelybedisappointed–untilyourememberedthatitwasalljustagameandtherealpayoffwasalreadyinyourpocket.You’dplayfulloutandfearlessbothbecauseyouhadnothingat stakeandbecause itwouldbeobvious toyou that,aswithmost things in life, it isn’tactuallyup toyouhow things turnout.The fact is,somestuffjustisn’tinthecards–fornow.Sometimesyouwin,sometimesyoulose.That’swhatmakesitagame.

What would it be like to play the game of life with that same degree offearlessness and freedom, knowing that everything that really counted – yourwell-being,happiness, love,andself-worth–wasalreadyyours tokeep?Afterall, youwerebornwith them, and theonly thing that can ever takeyouawayfrom them is a thought. You can get nothing of true and lasting value fromplayingthegameoflifethatwasn’talreadyyoursbeforeyoustartedplayingand

won’tcontinuetobeyoursafterthegameisdone.

At thispoint,we’renolongerplayingtowin– in thedivinedreamof life, theonly possible reason to play is to play. If you’ve ever seen a five year oldplayingagameofmake-believe,youknow they throw themselves into it as iftheirlivesdependedonitbecausetheyknowfullwellthattheirlivesdon’t.Thesameistrueforus.

Except on those extremely rare occasions when our life (as opposed to ourlivelihood)mightactuallybeontheline,we’replayingwiththehouse’smoney.Contrarytothewayitappearsfromtimetotimeintheillusionofourthinking,there’snothingrealatstake.Andtheonlythingwehavetoloseis theillusionthatsomethingoutsideuscanmakeushappy,safe,andsecure.

Formyself, I’vefound that therewardsofan inner-directed life lived(mostly)fromaplaceofwell-beingfaroutweightheshort-termgainsofa‘resultsatanycost’mentality.Either Ihaveawonderful lifeanddriveaPorscheor Ihaveawonderfullifeandrideabicycle–eitherway,Ikeepshowingupeachdayandplaying.Becausebeingaliveisthebestgameintown.

HUMILITYMADEFUN

One day I was sitting with a client who was telling me about his businessstruggles,andhowthestressandpressurehewasfeelingwereleakingintootherareasofhislife.Outofnowhere,aquestionthatatfirstseemedtoorudetovoicepoppedintomyhead:‘Whyaren’tyouawesomer?’

Itwassuchadirectquestionthat itmademesmile,andwhenmyclientaskedmewhatIwassmilingaboutItoldhimandheaskedmewhatImeant.

‘I’m not sure,’ I confessed, ‘but I think what I mean is this: you’re a verysuccessful guy, so I know you’re at the very least capable of hard work anddelivering onwhat you promise. You’rewell educated, so I know your brainworksjustfine,andI’vebeenaroundyoulongenoughtoknowyou’resociallyintelligent aswell. But somehow you’re acting as though you no longer haveaccess to the same resources that havegotten you this far in life.And I don’tmind,butit’scurioustome…’

Webothsatwiththatthoughtforawhile,andhesharedsomeofthedoubtsthathadcreptintohismindashe’dstruggledtokeephisbusinessafloatoverthepastcoupleofyears–thoughtslikeWhatifmysuccesswasjustafluke?andWhatifmytimehaspassed?

Ratherthanaddressthosequestionsdirectly,Itookusbackintoaconversationabout the nature of the human experience. We talked about the nature ofThought,andhoweveryoneexperiencestheir thinkingasthoughit’sreal.Thistookus into a contemplationof the formless energyoutofwhich thought andeveryformarisesanddissipates,andwebothgotprettyquiet.

Finally,heaskedme,‘WhydoyouthinkI’mnotawesomer?’

Ireflectedforafewmoments,andthensharedwhatcametome.

‘I think it’s because somewhere along the line, how you were doing in lifestarted to seem very real and significant, and that was a scary thought, as itwouldbeforanyone.Andbecauseitlookedsorealandimportant,youstartedtothink thatyouneededthings tobeacertainwayinorder tomanageyourfear.And if all your attention is focused on trying to control theworld, it’s reallydifficulttostaytunedintoyourdeeperguidanceandwisdom,whichiswhereall

our“awesomeness”comesfrominthefirstplace.’

Isharedwithmyclientthatlifehadbeenkickingmyassabitoverthepreviousfewweeks. Itwasnothingmajor andnothing irreversible,but some things I’dthoughtweredonehadcomeundoneandI’dsufferedthroughacoupleofdaysofself-pitybeforerecognizingthatIwasabitoutoftouchwithreality.

ThingshadbeengoingsowellforsolongthatI’dforgottenhowlittlecontrolIactually had over how they turned out. Without even noticing, I’d begun toaccept good things happening as my birthright and to expect deferentialtreatmentfromauniversethatmightnotevenhaveknownIexisted.Ifoundtherealitycheckquiterefreshing.

Atthatpoint,somethingthatSydBanksoncesaidabouthumilitycametomind:

‘Humilityisn’tthinkinglessofyourself;it’sthinkingofyourselfless.’

In this sense, humility is humanity. It’s nothing to do with high or low self-esteem;it’saboutrecognizingthefactthatwe’reoneofsixbillionwavesintheoceanoflife,eachnomoreorlessimportantthananyother.

Withoutmyhavingtodoanythingaboutit,thesuncomesupinthemorningandthestarstwinkleatnight.BeforeI’veevengottenoutofbed,theEarthhasspunathirdofthewayrounditsaxisandsixbillionpeoplehavedonethebesttheyknowtodotoincreasetheirhappinessandmitigatetheirsuffering.

AndsinceI’mnotincharge,Igettorelaxandenjoytheride.Ratherthancowerinrecognitionofmyownweaknessandevenhelplessnessinthefaceofforcesfargreaterthanmyown,I’msetfree.Freetoappreciatemylifewhenthingsaregoingmywayandtohandlethemwithgracewhenthey’renot.FreetoloveandcontributetopeoplewhentheybehavethewayIwantthemtoandtocontinuetoloveandcontributetothemwhentheydon’t.FreetogooutandcreatethelifeIwantwhenthingsseemeasyandfreeandtocontinuetomoveinthatdirectionorevengiveupandgobacktothedrawingboardwhentheyseemhard.

Andintheend,thatseemstometobethecoreofallourdesires:thefreedomtobeable toenjoyour lifeandbeacontribution to thewhole insicknessand inhealth, for richeror forpoorer,asbestwecanforas longaswe’rehere.Howthingsultimatelyturnoutisn’tuptous.Itneverwas.Butifwedoourbitandplayourpart,it’sremarkablehowfarwecango.

Isharedallthiswithmyclientandthenwesatinsilenceforawhile,enjoyingthedeeperfeelingthatcomeswhencontemplatingthedeepernatureoflife.

‘That’sprettyawesome,’hesaid.

AndIhadtoagreethatitwas.

PUTTINGITALLTOGETHER

Inourfinalchaptertogether,we’llexplorethefarsideofempowermentandtakeawalk along thepathof the soul. In themeantime, here are a fewof thekeyideasfromthischapter:

Themomentweseethateveryfeelingisjusttheshadowofathought,westopbeingscaredofourfeelingsandjustfeelthem.

We’replayingwiththehouse’smoney.There’snothingrealatstake.Theonlythingwehavetoloseistheillusionthatsomethingoutsideuscanmakeushappy,safe,andsecure.

Whenyou’replayingtoplay,beingaliveisthebestgameintown.

Humilityisn’tthinkinglessofyourself;it’sthinkingofyourselfless.

Howthingsultimatelyturnoutisn’tuptous.Itneverwas.Butifwedoourbitandplayourpart,it’sremarkablehowfarwecango.

9

BEYONDEMPOWERMENT

‘Ourfreewillcanhinderthecourseofinspiration,andwhenthefavourablegaleofGod’sgraceswellsthesailsofoursoul,itisinourpowertorefuse

consentandtherebyhindertheeffectofthewind’sfavour;butwhenourspiritsailsalongandmakesitsvoyageprosperously,itisnotwewhomakethegaleofinspirationblowforus,norwewhomakeoursailsswellwithit,norwewhogivemotiontotheshipofourheart;butwesimplyreceivethegale,consenttoitsmotionandletourshipsailunderit,nothinderingitbyourresistance.’

St.FrançoisdeSales

I was speaking with a client once who was very concerned about what shedescribed as her inability to ‘access God’s wisdom’while working through avarietyofchallengesinherbusinessandpersonallife.Shetoldmethatshehadabumper sticker on her car that read ‘God ismyCo-pilot’ and that she alwaysturned to a higher power for support. Most of the time, she felt incrediblysupported. But in times of real need and crisis, she struggled to feel thatconnectionorheartheguidance.

So we talked about how when we get caught up in the machinations of theintellectitbecomesconsiderablymoredifficulttohearthewhispersofadeeperintelligence.

Isharedthestoryofacomedianwho’dcalledmeinfor‘emergencycoaching’beforehisfirstgiginfrontofthousandsofpeople.WhileIknewhewashopingfor some emotional management tools around confidence and charisma, whatwoundup resolving thesituation forhimwaswhenIpointedout thathisown

thoughts about it being a ‘really big gig’were the only things standing in thewayofhisnaturalconfidenceandcharisma.

MyclientandIthenwentontotalkaboutthedifferencebetweentryingtouseguidance to fulfill your personal goals and allowing yourself to be guided tofulfill your role in the unfolding of life. We both enjoyed exploring thedifferencebetween chasing after thewhims anddesires of the personality andbeingguidedbytheinspirationofthesoul.

It reminded me of one of my favorite stories about Abraham Lincoln, firstrecounted in the sermondelivered at his funeral and no doubt distorted in theretellingovertheyears.At theheightof theAmericanCivilWar,when thingswerelookingbleakfortheUnion,oneofLincoln’sgeneralsconcludedabattleplanningmeetingbysaying,‘LetushopethatGodisonourside!’

Lincolnapparentlyrespondedwithgreatfeeling,‘No,General, letushopethatweareonGod’sside.’

Thistookusbacktosomeofthefundamentalquestionsaboutthenatureofthehumanexperiencewe’vebeenexploringinthisbook:

Howmuchinfluencedoweactuallyhaveoverourownlife?

Doesfreewillmeanthatwe’reresponsibleforeverythingthathappenstous,ordoesitonlyextendasfarasourresponsesandreactionstowhathappens?

Howdoweknowthatwe’replayingourpartinthegreatunfoldingoflife?

These are questions for the ages, andwhile I lay no great claim to the ‘right’answers,Ididsuggesttomyclientthatshemightconsidergettinganewbumpersticker,onethatread‘IamGod’sCo-pilot.’

AfewweekslaterIwasteachingacoachingprogramandoneofthestudents,anofficercandidateinthearmedforces,wasexpressinghisconcernthatdespitehisconsiderableefforts,attheageof22hehadnotyetbecomethemanhewantedtobeorchangedtheworldinthewayhethoughtitoughttobechanged.Eachattempt Imade to point out howwell it seemed tome that hewas doingwasdoggedlyarguedwithevidencethatprovedonlyhowhighhe’dsetthebar.

I finallyabandonedmyperhapsmisguidedattemptsat reassuranceandpointed

out thedeeper truth. ‘You’renot thepiloton thismission,’ I said. ‘You’re theplane.’

THEPATHOFTHESOUL

Ispentthefirst25yearsorsoofmylifeasareasonablysuccessfulvictim.Attimes,theapparentunfairnessoflifewouldgetmedown,andInearlydrownedinaseaofwhatInowknowtohavebeendodgybrainchemistry.AsIslowlygotmybearings,Ididmybesttofightbackagainstthevictimvoiceinsidemyheadwithacacophonyofplansandschemesdesignednotsomuchtocreatethingsintheworldastotakemeawayfrommyownunhappinessandinsecurity.

Someofthoseplansandschemesactuallyworkedout,andinspiteofmyownworst efforts Imet the girl ofmy dreams, got a job on a television sitcom inWales,andlearnedthatsometimesacan-doattitudeactuallycanpayoff.

Ibegantostudythepersonalempowermentandsuccessliteratureinearnest,andforthenexttenyearsorsoIsethigherandhighergoalsandevenachievedsomeof them.Sure, Iwasstressedashell,but I’d learned to ‘manup,’broadenmyshouldersandtakeit.

Tobetterunderstandthispath,imagineacontinuumgoingfromlefttoright:

Ontheleft-handsideof thecontinuumweseeourselvesashelplessvictimsofcircumstance.There’snotmuchpoint in setting adirection in lifebecausewebelievethatwehavenochoiceaboutwhattodo–wehavetostaymarriedorgetdivorced, keepworking at the samedead-end jobor leave immediately, allowourselvestobebulliedor‘defendourhonor’byfightingbackateveryimaginedslight.

Butaswebecomemoreconsciousofourroleincreatingourexperienceoflife,werealizethatwearen’treallyhelplessvictimsandwebegintoseethateveninthe direst circumstances we do have some choices, although we may notparticularlylikeanyoftheoneswe’recurrentlyabletosee.

Thefurtherwegotowardtherightof thecontinuum,themoreempoweredwefeel and the more choices we become aware of until we realize that in anysituation we have a nearly infinite range of choices. There are not onlyinnumerable actions we could take (though some of them may take greatcourage), but we also have choices about our attitude and the meaning we

ascribetowhateveritisthat’shappening.

Thiswouldseemtobethepinnacleofpossibilityontheempoweredpathoflife:

Victim CreatorFear CourageNoChoice Choice

Comparedwiththequietdesperationofbeingavictim,thetestosteronesurgeofempowerment felt amazing. I setmydirection, plannedmywork, andworkedmyplan.YetinthebackofmymindIknewsomethingwasoff.Iwasbeginningtomeetwith some extraordinarily successful people.Many of themwere justlikeme–happyandconfidentwhenthingsweregoingwell;pettyanddesperatewhentheyweren’t.Weworemasksofarroganceorindifferencetohideaheadfullofinsecurityandfear.

ButsomepeopleImetseemedtobeonadifferentpath,eventhoughtheyhadmanyofthesamethingsthatIwasworkingsohardtoachieve.AsIlookedtoseewhatwasdifferentaboutthem,Irealizedtheywerefollowinginnerwisdominsteadofoutergoals.They stillwoundupgetting somewhere in thegameoflife.It’sjustthatitdidn’tmattersomuchtothemwherethathappenedtobe.

Insteadofstrivingtobethepredominantcreativeforceintheirlifethemselves,theydelighted inbeingconduits foracreative force– theprincipleofMind–thatexistedfarbeyondtheconsciousnessofthefragileego-mind.Inshort,theyallowedtheirlifetounfoldfromaplaceofconnectionwithadeeperwisdomthatseemstobeaninnatepartofthehumanpotential.

Thisopenedupanewpossibilityforhowtoliveintheworld:

Victim Creator ConduitFear Courage InsightNoChoice Choice NoChoice

Icallthisenlightenedapproach‘thepathofthesoul’becauseI’veobservedthat

the moment someone begins to follow their inner promptings and liveinsightfully in the moment, their life begins to unfold with a beauty andperfection that their own best-laid plans never seemed to have. It’s as if theirown soul is designing the perfect path and laying it out in front of them, onedailybrickatatime.

Whenwebegintoseetheillusionofourthinkingmoreclearly,werealizethatinaworldwhereourexperienceisbeingcreatedfromtheinsideout,masteringthecircumstances of our life is the boobyprize.That doesn’tmeanwemight notwindupwithabighouseoranicecar–there’snothingwrongwithtappingintothe abundance of the universe if the opportunity comes ourway. It’s just thatwe’reunlikelytospendtoomuchtimechasingthedreamofsuccesswhenwe’reawaketothedreamoflife.

Once we start to recognize the feeling of our innate wisdom, we realize thatwhenitcomestosettingourdirectioninlife,wedon’treallyhavethatmuchofachoiceafterall.Thisisn’tbecausewe’vegonebacktobeingvictims,butratherbecausewe’reprettymuchalwaysgoingtogowherethatinnerwisdomdirectsus. Not because we ‘have to,’ but because not going where the intelligencebehindlifewantstotakeuswouldbeself-defeatingandalittlebitsilly.

To highlight the difference between trying to make things happen as a self-empoweredindividualandopeninguptothecreativeguidanceofMindasapartofthegreatunfolding,considertheanalogyofasailboat.Tryingto‘makethingshappen’ inyour life is like trying tomake theboatmove forwardbyblowingintothesails.It’snotthatyoucan’tgetanywhere–it’sthatyoutendtoexhaustyourself in the process andmiss out on a lot ofwhat’s goingonoutside yourboat.

Bywayofcontrast,allowingtheenergyoflifetoguideyouislikeallowingthewindtofillyoursailsandpropelyouforward.Ifyou’veeverhadthefeelingofsomethingcoming‘through’youinsteadof‘from’you,youknowwhatthewindfeels like.We experience it as inspiration, or flow, or being in the zone.Wemakemoreprogressinafewhoursofinspiredactionthanwedidinmonthsofhardworkandstruggle.

Afriendofminewhospentmanyyearsasapriestbeforeturninghishandtoadifferentkindofspiritualteachingsharedasimilaranalogywithme:

‘Nomatterhowhardasurferworks,theoceanisdoingmostoftheheavylifting.’

And this, for me, is the limitation of the empowered approach to life.Empowermentasksustobea‘forceofnature,’notrecognizingthattheoperantpowerbehindanyforceofnatureisnatureitself.Thisistheessenceofthepathofthesoul:

Whenyouallowadeeperwisdomtocomethroughyou,thatdeeperwisdominevitablycomesthrough.

THEREPAIROFTHEWORLD

OneofmyfavoriteteachingstoriescomesfromtheworldofJewishmysticism:

Inthebeginning,therewasonlyGod.ButGoddecidedtocreatetheworldbywithdrawinghisdivinelightandpouringitintospeciallypreparedvessels.

Unfortunately,asGodpouredhislightintothevessels,theyshattered,sendingsparksofGod’sdivinelightandshardsofthevesselstoeverycornerofcreation.

OurgreattaskistoassistGodbygatheringthedivinesparksbacktogetherandrestoringthevesseltowholeness.UntilallthesparksofGod’slightaregatheredbacktogether,theworkofcreationwillnotbecomplete.Thistaskiscalled‘TikunOlam’–therepairoftheworld.

I’ve realized that this iswhat I love doing – finding the spark of divine lightinside people, fanning that spark, and watching and witnessing as their livesburst into flame. This inner spark is our essential nature and, as Syd Bankspointedoutrepeatedly,it’snevermorethanonethoughtaway.

Foreverything that Idon’tknowabout theworld, thereareafewthings that Ido,andfirstandforemostamongsttheseisthatthedivinelightisalwaysshininginsideusanditswarmthisinthefeeling,notthewords.

We can get so caught up in trying to remember to live by the wisdom andinsightsofothersthatweforgetthesourceofthatwisdomisinsideusaswell.Insightsareapartofthefactorydefault,thenaturalside-effectsoflivingwitharelativelyquietmindandarelativelybeautifulfeeling.Ifyouforgeteverythingwe’vetalkedaboutinthisconversationbutyoustaywiththefeeling,theinsightswillcontinuetounfoldforyou.

And while the inside-out unfolding of the path of the soul is certainly lesspredictable than theoutside-in architectureof the empoweredone, it is, inmyexperiencesofar,thepathmostinlinewiththekindnessofthedesign.

EPILOGUE:THELIFECOACHANDTHEMIGHTYTREE

‘Whatyouleavebehindisnotwhatisengravedinstonemonuments,butwhatiswovenintothelivesofothers.’

Pericles

Oneday,whilesittingwithmybackagainst the trunkofamassive tree inmygarden, I fell asleep and dreamed that Iwas sittingwithmy back against thetrunkofamassivetreeinmygarden.Muchtomysurprise,itaskedmeforsomecoaching.

‘Iamamightytree,’ itbegan,‘andI’msomewhatembarrassedtoadmit thatafewofmyleaveshavebeguntofalltotheground.Thethingis,Ican’taffordtolosemy leaves.Whatwill people thinkofme if I gobald?They’ll seemeasnaked andweak and frail. I’mnot sure I cangoon if itmeansgoing throughsuchadifficultordeal.’

‘But, tree,’ I replied, ‘surely you must realize that this is just a part of theseasonsoflife.Eachautumnyouloseyourleaves–that’swhywehumanscallit“fall.”Andcomespringyou’llgrownewleavesandreturnmorebeautifulthanever.’

‘Howcanyousaysuchthingswithsuchcertainty?’saidthetree(whoobviouslyhadn’treadmybooks).‘Areyousomekindofpsychicorfortune-teller?’

‘No,tree,I’mnotpsychic–I’msimplyanobserveroflife.AndI’venoticedthenaturalcyclethatalltreesofyourkindgothrough.Infact,everywhereIlookinnature I see the same kind of pre-existing intelligence at work behind thescenes.’

‘You’renottalkingaboutGod,areyou?’askedthetree.‘I’mnotsurethatIwanttogetintoadiscussionaboutGodwithahuman.’

‘NeitherdoI,tree–neitherdoI.WhenIsay“pre-existingintelligence,”Imeanthe implicateorderof things.Asyouknow,acornsnevergrow intopine treesand baby rabbits never grow up to be grizzly bears. Somehow, the fruit isalreadyprogrammedintotheseed.Wehumanscanobservethat intelligenceatwork inourbody.Themomentwegetcut, the intelligenceof thebodybeginstheprocessofhealing.Everythingthebodydoesisdesignedtoreturnitselftoastateofnaturalhealthandequilibrium.There’sanintelligencebehindourmindas well. The moment we think a toxic thought, we get a toxic feeling as awarningsignalnottoproceedtoofardownthatpath.Healthythoughtsproducehealthyfeelings,lettingusknowthatwe’reheadinginahealthydirection.Thisinnercompassguidesusbacktoastateofnaturalmentalhealthandequilibrium.Inthisstate,wehaveaccesstoanotherwisehiddenwisdomthatwillguideusifweletit.’

‘Thenwhyistheresomuchwar,andcruelty,andunrestinyourworld?’thetreeasked.‘Surelythat’sproofthatnosuchwisdomexists.’

‘Unfortunately,noteveryoneyetunderstandstheinside-outnatureofrealityandthe simple intelligence behind the system, so there’s still a lot of mentalinstability in the world. But it seems tome the fact that nomatter how longpeoplehave suffered they’renevermore thanone thoughtaway frompeace isproofofthekindnessofthedesign.’

Thetreestareddownatmeinscrutably,asifitcouldholditsposeforathousandyearswithoutwavering.Finally,itspoke.

‘Butevenifthiswisdomandintelligenceexists,itisnotinfallible.Humansdie,andsodotrees.Ifthereis,asyousay,a“kindnesstothedesign,”howdoyouexplaindeath?’

Itwasmyturntostarebackupatthetree.

‘I can’t explain it,’ I responded honestly. ‘But I can observe it and see theimpersonalnatureofit.Andsomehowseeingthatit’sapartofthenaturalcycleforeveryoneandeverythingsuggeststomethatevendeath,atsomelevelthatIcan’tyetsee, isapartof the implicateorder.Perhaps insomeway it’sevenapartofthekindnessofthedesign.’

Wesatquietly together, the treeandI, feelingconnectednotonlybymybackagainstitstrunkbutbyadeeperbondofsharedcontemplationandmortality.

Ourconversationisongoing.ThemoreIlookinthisdirection,themoreIrealizehowlittleIsee.Butsomehow,thelittleIseemakesmylifebetterandbetter…

Withallmylove,

RESOURCES

Asisalwaysthecasewhenarevolutiontakesholdinanyfield,thenumberofavailableresourcesincreasesatanexponentialrate.WhileIwillsharemanyoftheresourcesIfoundmosthelpfulinmyownresearchandimmersionbelow,fora more comprehensive and up-to-date list you can visit:www.supercoach.com/ior/resources

SYDBANKS

Syd’sbooks,audios,andvideosaredeceptivelysimple(ordeceptivelycomplex,dependingonyourstateofmindwhenyoufirstencounterthem).Consequently,I recommend going through them multiple times.With the exception ofTheMissingLink,allofhisbooksarewritteninparableform.

Books

SecondChance

InQuestofthePearl

TheMissingLink:ReflectionsonPhilosophyandSpirit

TheEnlightenedGardener:ANovel

TheEnlightenedGardenerRevisited:AWiseOldGardenerTeachesLife’sPrinciplesofMind,Consciousness,andThought

DearLiza

Audio

Attitude:UsingtheThreePrinciplestoDealwithStress&Insecurity

TheGreatSpirit:ReflectionsonNorthAmericanSpirituality

OneThoughtAway:SydBanksatTampaCrossroads

WhatisTruth?

DVD

TheHawaiiLectures:SecrettotheMind;OnenessofLife;ThePowerofThought;GoingHome

TheLongBeachLectures:TheGreatIllusion;TruthLiesWithin;TheExperience;JumpingtheBoundaries

TheWashingtonLectures:TheThreePrinciples;SeparateRealities

While Syd died in 2009, his website (www.sydneybanks.org) has beenmaintainedandcontainssomeshortvideoclipsandfurtherinformationabouthismaterials.

GEORGEPRANSKY

MuchofGeorge’sworkwasonlyavailabletoprivateclientsuntilrecently,buthe has produced dozens of audios covering a vast array of applications. I’velistenedtoandenjoyedallofthem–I’velistedasmallsamplingofmyfavoritesbelow:

Books

TheRelationshipHandbook:ASimpleGuidetoSatisfyingRelationships

TheRenaissanceofPsychology(currentlyoutofprint)

Audio

BusyMind:HowYourMentalSpeedAffectsYourLife

TheGameofLifeandLiving:TheInterfaceofInnerCalmandOuterWorldAchievement

Investmentvs.Involvement:TwoIndependentAspectsofLife

LeveragingtheHumanDimensioninBusiness:DiscovertheMostImportantVariableInHumanPerformance

Maintenance-FreeRelationships:HowtoImproveYourRelationshipwithout‘Workingonit’

SomeFun,NoFun,AllFun:TheKeytoUnlockingYourEnjoymentinLife

You can find all ofGeorge’s products alongwith a number of new programsfeaturing his wife, Linda, and his daughters, Kara and Erika, atwww.pranskyandassociates.com

MICHAELNEILL

Iofferanumberofwaystogodeeperintheinside-outunderstanding,includingone-on-one coaching, mentoring and supervision, multimedia programs, smallgroupretreats,andaninternationalcertification-basedcoachingprogram.

Forafulllistingofourcurrentofferings,pleasevisitwww.supercoach.com

If you are interested in professional training, please visitwww.supercoachacademy.com

ADDITIONALRESOURCES

Books

Every fewmonths,newbookscomeout that address someaspectof the threeprinciplesandtheinside-outunderstanding.AswellasthosebySydandGeorge,theonesIfindmyselfrecommendingmostofteninclude:

Clarity:ClearMind,BetterPerformance,BiggerResults,JamieSmart(Capstone,2013)

OurTrueIdentity…ThreePrinciples,ElsieSpittle(CreateSpaceIndependentPublishingPlatform,2010)

SomebodyShouldHaveToldUs!:SimpleTruthsforLivingWell,JackPransky(CCBPublishing,2011)

Stillpower:ExcellencewithEaseinSportsandLife,GarretKramer(BeyondWordsPublishing,2012)

TheWisdomWithin,byRogerMillsandElsieSpittle(LonePinePublishing,2001)

Websites

HerearethreeofthemostactivesitescurrentlyoperatingasportalstoTheThreePrinciplescommunity:

www.threeprinciplesmovies.com

Afantasticresourcepackedwithhundredsofvideointerviewswithmostofthemajorteachersandpractitionersfromaroundtheworld.

www.3PGC.com

Anon-profitorganizationcommittedtobringinganunderstandingofTheThreePrinciplestopeoplethroughouttheworld,offeringblogsandwebinarsfromavarietyofteachers.

www.tikun.co.uk

AJewishorganizationthathasdoneaphenomenaljobofmakingTheThreePrinciplesavailabletopeoplefromallwalksoflifeandinclusiveofallfaithsandbackgrounds.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Writingabook is somewhatuniquelybothacompletely solitaryendeavorandsomething that’sutterly impossiblewithout agreat teamaroundyou.Towritethisbookinparticular,IhadtofirstgivemyselfpermissiontoupsetanumberofpeopleIcareaboutinordertoensurethewordscamethrough‘clean,’untaintedbymy unenlightened desire to please everyone and offend no-one. However,afterthemanuscriptwaswritten,IgaveittosixpeoplewhoseopinionsIvalueand trust – an engineer, a spiritual teacher, a businessman, a psychiatrist, apsychologist, and an editor. My deepest gratitude to David Glazer, ClarenceThomson, Don Donovan, Dr. Bill Pettit, Dr. George Pransky, and LizzieHutchins. Without their direct, honest, and wildly varied feedback, the bookyou’vejustreadwouldhavebeenaverydifferentcreatureindeed.

I’d like toacknowledgeeveryonewhohas taken the time to teach,coach,andmentormeindeepeningmyunderstandingof theinside-outparadigmover thepastsixyears,includingJosephBailey,DickenBettinger,KeithBlevens,CherylBond,CathyCasey,RobinCharbit,ChipChipman,JanChipman,DonDonovan,Mara Gleason, Mark Howard, Robert Kausen, Sandy Krot, Ken Manning,Kristen Mansheim, Gabriela Maldonado-Montano, Leslie Miller, Ami Mills-Naim, Valda Monroe, Jack Pransky, Linda Pransky, Bill Pettit, JudithSedgeman,ElsieSpittle,andAaronTurner.

ExtraspecialthankstoSydBanks,whoseinsightsopenedupanewworldtome,and George Pransky, for inspiring my journey and then becoming my guide,friend,andmentoralongtheway.

Totranslateideasandinsightsintoabookthatgoesoutintotheworldtakesateam,andIhavebeenblessedwithamightyone:

TerriCareyandJoeAlamo,themagicalelveswhotakemymadramblings

eachweekandturnthemintotips,webpages,andprogramswhileIsleep.Withoutyou,Iwouldn’tevenattempttodotheworkIdo.

RobertKirby,myamazingagent,whoteasedtheideaforthisbookoutofmyheadoveraglassofwhiskeyandawonderfulmeal.

LizzieHutchins,myintrepideditor,whotookamonthandahalftopaymeacomplimentwithouteverlettingmedoubtthatshewasfirmlyonmyside.

MichellePilley,MargareteNielsen,andReidTracy,whosebeliefinmeneverwaveredevenwhenmybeliefinmyselfwasridingtherollercoasterofthought.

TheamazingeditorialandsupportteamatHayHouse,withspecialthankstoAmyKiberd,JulieOughton,RuthTewkesbury,andSteveWilliams.

RandyStuart,adesignerwhoappearedinmylifeoutofnowhereanddeliveredexactlywhatwasneeded.That’swhatangelsdo–justsaying!

My clients, readers, listeners, and students have inmanyways beenmy bestteachers,helpingme tohonemyexpressionof theseprinciples intosomethingthatcanbeunderstoodandgraspedatdeeperanddeeperlevels.Mygratitudetoall,withspecialmentiontoloyalreadersoftheweeklytips(12yearsandgoingstrong!),avid listenersofHayHouseRadio,studentsofSupercoachAcademy,and thosewho’veallowedme tomentor themover thepast5years, includingAli Campbell, Elese Coit, Maggie Gilewicz, Anders Haglund, Fiona Jacob,Martin Jarnland, Kajen Kanagasabai, Rich Litvin, Bevin Lynch, ToniMcGuinness, Donald McNaughton, Susan Motheral, Richard Nugent, BarbPatterson,ClaireShutes,JamieSmart,JayneStyles,andSueTrinder.

IdecidedyearsagothatifIhadtochoose,Iwouldsacrificebusinesssuccessforfriendsandfamily,andit’sacredittomyfriendsandfamilythatI’veneverhadtomakethatchoice.Allmyloveandthanksto:

DavidBeeler–mybestfriendforover25years.We’vewalkedmorethan10,000milestogether(literally)andyou’vealwaysbeenthefirsttosignuptoplayguineapigtowhatevermadexperimentornewideaIwanttotryout.

PaulMcKenna–myotherbrother.You’vemadethejourneymorefunthan

Ihadanyrighttoexpectorhopefor.

Oliver,Clara,andMaisy–thebestchildrenintheworld.SpendingtimewithyouislikehavingacuddlewithGod.

Andlast,butbynomeansleast,toNina–nomatterhowmanytimesIdisappearintomyhead,youarealwayswaitingformewhenIre-emerge.Iamtrulyblessedtohaveyouasmywife.

ABOUTTHEAUTHOR

Photographer:DavidBeeler

Michael Neill is an internationally renowned transformative coach and thebestsellingauthorofYouCanHaveWhatYouWant,Supercoach,FeelHappyNow!,andboththeEffortlessSuccessandCoachingfromtheInside-Outaudioprograms.Hehasspentthepast23yearsasacoach,adviser,friend,mentor,andcreative spark plug to celebrities, CEOs, royalty, and peoplewhowant to getmoreoutofthemselvesandtheirlives.HeisthealsothefounderofSupercoachAcademy, an international school that teaches people how to coach from theinsideout.

Michael’s books have been translated into 13 languages, and his public talks,retreats,andseminarshavetouchedandtransformedlivesattheUnitedNationsand on five continents around the world. He hosts a weekly talk show onHayHouseRadio.com,andhisweeklyblogscanbereadonhiswebsiteandTheHuffingtonPost.

YoucanfollowhimonFacebookandTwitter:

www.facebook.com/mneill

www.twitter.com/michael_neill

www.supercoach.com

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