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Because It's

Midterm Week Extra Special "I always thought Shannon was better in Heathers anyway" Issue

Page 2

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Keener John Kasunj.c Stephen Ktngsley-Jones N.E.A.C. Marc Ouellette Chandra Plumb Fidel Reijetse Clare Stewart

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Iron Warrior IV

Prez Spews by Fidel Reijerse

For those of you that read my spews last week, you will have been under the impression that the Federation of Students' Endowment Committee had agreed to partial fund the pilot project of bike lockers. They agreed to assist Security with a $7000 grant. Needless to say this was my impression as well since I has present at the meeting in the summer when the students agreed to the funding. Unbeknownst to me, was that the Management Board decided to defer the funding until further alternatives had been explored. This grave lack of commu­nication could have caused enormous problems had the project already been started. The decision to defer the money came at a meeting on July 29, and I was only informed after last weeks article! I attended a meeting of this board last Thursday to explain how over the period of eighteen months, we had looked at many alter-

Dear Marc & Autumn land we assume Brent, though she didn't actually specify him ... -£d.] I apologize for being conSistently late with my spews. However, this week, midterm week at that, I have made an extra special effort to be on time . Actually, at this very moment I should be in class. Enjoy,

VP External Spews by Clare Stewart

First I must start with an apology and

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natives and that only this alternative was feasible. They listened carefully and then waited until I had left to dis­cuss the issue. They decided to turn down the funding.

This raises some very serious con­cerns. Firstly, I am rather upset that they will be starting over and rein­venting the wheel, after eighteen months of discussion with the

needed.

Administration and various companies. Sincerely think that they will not have the time to offer the students a solu­tion, that is any different that what we are currently offer­ing, though a few years and committees later may be

My second concern is the most impor­tant. If we look at this from a stu­dents stand point, irregardless of the proposal, we run into a few ethical questions regarding the spending of students' money. The Fed

Spills over to page 3

a correction to my spews from the last issue. The CRO for the upcoming elections does indeed have a last name. His name is John Mogk, and he is a member of the 2A Mech class. Nomination forms will be available in the Orifice beginning Wednesday November 4,1992 and are due in by 12 noon on Friday November 13, 1992. The voting will take place on Tuesday November 24,1992.

During my term as VPX of Eng Soc, I have been working on improving the resources we have available for the Promotion of Engineering. A new idea in the works is the "Eng Soc Flyer". The flyer is being designed to provide a readily available source of information that can be distributed to any interested party; high school stu­dents, parents, other universities, fac­ulty, advertising clients, the media, and the general public.

The format will be a simple one, and it will be printed on stock paper so as to achieve a professional looking pre­sentation. The flyer will contain infor­mation on the Society as a whole, and how we function.

If anyone has suggestions of some­thing they would like to see included in the flyer, please drop me a note or speak with me. If you would be inter­ested in seeing the Draft version of the flyer, just ask.

CQ1JJlll~unHy of ,;, t.he '" $:ity of wattldQo .

vi~"'~-expr.essedin Th~ Iron Warrior are those of ~he "'aulb{)Ts and do not n~~essattly refiec\ the opm­tons of the En~lneer1ng

name, applicabl~) and phone. nUmb¢r should be Includ-

Society.

The Iron WarTlor encour­ages submissions lrom Stu­dent$-, f<l.<.'I.dty and other members of the unl\'t'l'Slty community. Submissions should rellect the r'oncems and intelleclual standards

ed.. /-.::

All submlssions.·unless otherwlse stated. beeome the property of The Iron Warrior, which [' .. serVe$ the light to r('fus(' publication .of mateIia! which iI deems un ·uHable . The Iron WarrIor also r('serves the right to edit ~rammar. spelUng <U1d portions of text thal do ,not l1)<>et tUllvcrsUy

Iq:mWa,rnor Engineetin/-t Soctet,,'l CPH t327 Uruvel'$ity QfWaterioo WATERLOO'. Ontario N2L3Gl phooe.: L5l9) 888·4762 fa.\,:; (519J 888·6191

e-Ill.,,1.(J:

engsoc@8unee.waterloo.cdu

October 30, 1992

VP Half a Bruno Gerussi, A Giant Elwy Yost, and a Bottle of the President's Choice "Memories of Singapore" Passion Fruit Glaze Spews

VP Internal Dry Heaves by Stephen Kingsley-Jones

My apologies, I'm too busy failing my midterms to write an article.

October 30. 1992

Prez's spew spilled over from page 2

Endowment is set up such that the proposals are presented to the Endowment Committee, which was modeled after our Funding Council. These students are the representatives for their area of the student popula­tion. It is here that the funding deci­sions are made. So far we have stu­dents spending student money, and that makes sense. The decision then goes to the Management Board which is made up of 6 administrators from the University and 7 students. Here the decision is scrutinized and, in this case one of the decisions was over­turned. Now all of a sudden we have a SELECT group of students and ADMINISTRATORS who actually spend the STUDENTS money! This I feel is a serious ethical problem that needs to be rectified.

In the WEEF, we have a Board of Directors, wh()se responsibility is to assist the WEEF Director in handling the legal, constitutional, and financial arrangements for the fund. They also act in an advisory capacity and make sure that all the proposals fall within the directive of the endowment, as set out by the students. If a funding deci­sion is found to be flawed for it does not follow the spirit of the WEEF then the Funding Council will be asked to review its decision, and if this still results in an incorrect decision then the Board may act on these grounds to veto part of the decision.

The Fed's Management Board on the other hand, seems to have violated th ir own directive and that is that the student money will be spent by the s tudents. At the Endowment Committee meeting in question, the bike locker project was strongly sup-

Iron Warrior IV Page 3

ported by the students, who indicated by vote, that they wished the $7000 to be spent on the lockers. This decision is made by the students who volun­teer many hours to sift through all the proposals. Are they to assume that all the work that is put into this, can be rendered futile by one sweep of the Management Board's hand? Is it then true that this cross section of the stu­dents does not comprehend the needs of the students nearly as well as the few students and administrators on the Management Board? I feel that not only has the Management Board violated their own directive in favour of their own omnipotent behaviour, but they have also insulted all those student volunteers on the Endowment Committee.

This type of behaviour is noticeable throughout the process. At the Endowment Committee meetings there was a distinct biased expressed by both John Leddy, the paid chair and Peter Hopkins, the Associate Provost of Student Affairs on the majority of the project proposals that I witnessed. It is my understanding that these people are present for con­sultation and advice, concerning the projects, but I would like to empha­size, let the students spend the money and keep your opinions to yourself!

One of the most disturbing facts that comes from such a decision is that the precedent has been set, under the supervision of a Federation Executive that has expressed on a number of occasions, their mandate to give the students the power over their territo­ry. What has transpired, com letely goes against the grain of fhelr man­date. It is time for the students ask who really is represented by the Feds, the students or the administration?

Bobbie, this week's Sunshine Thing, is really into formal wear and likes to slith­er and slide about. Residing in the icy southeastern tundra of UW, Bobbie hangs out in the Orifice pretending to be bored, but really lights up when t1,le lights go out. Some may call Bobbie cold, but everyone in the Orifice knows better.

The optimistic view Dear Editors: Due to the inflammato­ry nature of the following article, I will not be offended if you decide not to print it.

by Chandra Plumb

the ducks on campus, play marbles, spray Impulse all over your body and then, on a whim, buy yourself flow­ers, skip class and hitchhike to Niagara Falls, s teal that sign you've

-"'''''';~.JM. .i r th ,t i w ks, i k up all the half dried worms after it rains and put them back in the grass so they don't die.

Nothing of Importance

It's 1:30 A.M., Tuesday October 20, 1992 and I am breathing statistics. Yes, don't midterms just suck? But let's get to the point. I know thl'rl" S a lot of issues Lo discuss. World hunger, Canada is falling apart, th' economy sucks, the crim rate contin­ues to rise, too much schoolwork, too many exams, too many lousy profs (actually mine arc coo!), it's loo cold, men/women are scum, blah blah blah, blah blah blah, blah blah blah. Frankly, I disagre . Ok, so I'm an eternal optimist. it's a beautiful day no matter what the weather ib like. Yeah, exams suck, but they'll be over soon, just like this term will be, and next term and soon your whole life! It's no use complaining because if you do actually ever solve all your prob­lems, you'll just get a whole new load of replacements anyways. You just have to eat more ic cream cones, roll down hills, hang out with all the keeners for a week, make love in a hammock (you'll recognize that one if you saw The Sure Thing), name all

Why ,lin I tlw only Il'rMlIl I know th,1l owns i\ bdt with ,I huge' mll ... ,y f,le\'

buckl ,? It imyC))\' ,1st, has lHI ' ph'ase get in IOllch. I bought fUY smile y bdl at the ,(lodwill a fl'w year ' <Igo illld

have be 'n surpri 'ed to find that I'vl..' never seen anyone e1s with one. Maybe it's {rom till' 60's. Mayo ... , 1 belong in thl' 60's, whcn cwrything was aquamarine (,Hluamarinc), "nd flow 'rNi, and <Ill about Jove and

p 'ace and wh 'n gay meant h<lppy. Mayb 1 should stop before th yomI.'

to Lake me away (he' hee, ha h<l, ho ho, to the funny farm, wh re very­thing is .... ). Well that's how I feel. Like I must be insane because I don't feel like complaining anymore. Yes, the truth is out. My life sucks as, much as anybody else's, but I think it's great. No, this is not a joke. Oh yes, and SAVE THE WORMS.

At approximately 3:20 A.M., a murder scene was discovered at the Church of the Sacrificial Goat, AKA the Ryerson Engineering Society office. The scene appears to be the site of a ram sacri­fice, could it be Ryerson's famed mas­cot?

Witnesses report an extremely hard and long pipe wrench was observed near the office. As well, numerous stickers with the cryptic phrase "Engineering-University of Waterloo" written on them appeared mysteri­ously all over campus (even in the Dean's office).

At the time of the discovery the next of kid had not yet been notified. The police are involved in the investiga-

,;

~ JoL.\tJ KA. SU N \ C

hon to determine who the culprits were. Naturally, the Ryerson Kampus Kops are extremely interest­ed and yet did nothing to question anyone in the area at the time. We at Waterloo can feel very safe knowing that our campus cops are on the job. Within two minutes of returning to campus we were questioned about our motives for being in the buildings

at 6:00 am.

Of course since none of this actually

happened and nobody left Waterloo with any stickers, then this is just a

good story. But next time you see a

Ryerson engineer, tell them how great

the goat stew was.

LAST I SSU~· ,-'5 JUST

~ SC/l..EW ()~\VER!

Page 4

DearIW:

I can appreciate and even almost understand the feelings conveyed in the Rapists Beware article in your last issue. Sexual assault is one of the worst things a human being can do to another human being. It is certainly the most degrading and dehumaniz­ing.

The concept of revenge is a very nor­mal reaction. Someone commits an offense, so you kill that person out of your rage. Sure, sexual offense is not a crime committed by men against women; rather it is a crime committed by some people against society. But, unless it happens to you, what real pain do you feel? What trauma do you suffer? What agony do you go through? The pain felt by those around the victim, while real to them, is absolutely a minimum compared to that of the victim, simply because nothing has happened to them. Usually, the victim's loved ones are angry at themselves for not being there, or the police or witnesses for not stopping it. Sometimes they are even angry with the victim for "allow­ing" themselves to be put in that posi­tion. So you are upset and you kill the offender and that makes you feel better; that is where it stops for you.

But it would not stop for me, or most of the other victims of sexual abuse I know. We have to live with it every day, hoping that tomorrow will be easier. There are times when some­thing will happen that will make me have a flashback that will seem so real that a room even smells the same as the rooms did where the abuse occurred. Revenge by someone else would not change that, trust me. My attacker died a horrible death, a death that for me was most gratifying, but it did not stop my pain. Dying actually let him off the hook, it would be far better if he was forced to endure the same amount of anguish as I have. So what is the point of violently seeking revenge? It will not help the victim if you do it.

DearIW:

I recently wrote a letter to , "Jeff and Akbar", the editors of the Enginewsletter. In this letter, I men­tioned the striking similarity (actually the identicalness) of the cartoons in the Enginewsletter and the cartoons in Matt Groening's Life in Hell books. I suggested that in future Enginewsletters, Matt Groening's name should remain where he put it -at the top of each of his cartoon strips. I guess I was a little to harsh on "Jeff and Akbar" because they never print­ed my letter, and they continue to shamelessly remove Matt Groening's

Iron Warrior IV October 30. 1992

So if you think you are angry and have a reason to be, try being in my shoes for a while. I was a little boy and little boys are easily overpow­ered. What could I do? There is no way of knowing the helplessness, unless you are there. Now that I am a man, my humiliation has become even greater. Now I am big and strong enough to fend off anything, but it does me no good. It certainly is not socially acceptable to be male and be a victim. Society has conditioned everyone to believe men are perpetra­tors. So every time I see someone get off an elevator, or cross the street out of some imagined fear of being attacked by me, not because I look dangerous, but because I am a man, it only makes me feel more pain and anger. This anger is only increased by the bureaucracy at this university, which refuses to believe there is any­thing wrong with me because there are no visible scars. I don't sleep at night because I have dreams that con­stantly wake me up. Sometimes I talk in my sleep, so I stay awake, lest any­one find out what I more ashamed of than anything else. Once it happens, you live in fear. You are afraid people can look at you and tell and that they will think of you differently once they know. You certainly are afraid that it will happen to someone you know and mostly you are afraid that no one could love you if they knew.

I think that whoever you are, you should grow up and realize you are not being are hero, or a help. You are only satisfying your own selfish inter­ests. You coula really help by being understanding and compassionate toward the victim instead of being

harles Bronson. Anger is too con­suming and dangerous. The best thing to do is just accept that it hap­pened because you cannot change it. You don't have to like it, but you do have to live with it. You should also pray that there are no more victims because no one should have to go through life always living in fear.

-Anonymous

name from each cartoon they steal. However, after reading the last Enginewsletter, I have had a change of heart. Now I would like to plead with "Jeff and Akbar" to photocopy Groening's or anyone else's work, with or without the original author's name. Cram the Enginewsletter with plagiarized materials! But please, please, please don't write anything else yourselves! At least this way the Enginewsletter will be funny.

Ron Butler, 2B Systems

DearIW:

We wish to set Suzanne Boileau and your readers straight with regard to the performance of the BullDawgs team in the recent Scunt. Most of us had nothing to prove, our only inten­tion being to have fun. For the rest of the team, it was a warm up for the next B-Soc scunt and also an opportu­nity to have fun.

The team was a composed of a num­ber of veterans from Chug, Mechanical Bulls, Bad Ohmen, and even a couple of members of the Chemmunist Party. The team also included members from three classes which had previously won and run a successful Scunt: What, Hammer & Screw, and the Dawgs (Chug has won a Scunt, but are yet to run one). To say that these people need more expe­rience is far from the truth.

For those of you who do not know, a successful Scunt is one with trivia lists already printed, audio cassettes ready to go, a Toronto road trip list bigger than twenty-nine pages (Dawgs' was over 150, and What's and Hammer & Screw's were in the same range), a header on the lists other than some guy's Watstar ID, original trivia lists (not Asyd's), a bar run, no complain­ing about needing money to break even - none of the above teams even came close or even worried, that is not the point - and finally a successful Scunt does not have invited members of the local constabulary at judging, nor does it have members of the bureaucracy at opening ceremonies. (in case you missed them, they were at the doors at the top of EL 101, in tacky polyester shirts, and tacky oafers and lots of gold chains, Fidel

knows the ones we mean).

Needless to say, we had nothing to learn, so our only purpose, as men­tioned was to have fun and perhaps help someone else win, mainly so we could drink their beer. Unfortunately, some members of the (Dumb) Frosh team failed to capitalize on our gen­erosity. To illustrate our worth, we

scored quite well on the London road trip, partly by offending practically everyone on the list, in spite of such behaviour being far from normal for any of our members.

As for Bulls and Dawgs fearing a IB Systems class, we need not worry, for we are B-Soc and hence need only concern ourselves with those Frosh who are in eight stream. From what we have seen, we should have little trouble disposing of them. Also, since Chug is running the Scunt, and the Dawgs have no desire to win, the main competition will be between the Bulls and the Bad Ohmen. By the way, the Dawgs are probably joining the Bulls, and so are key members from Hammer & Screw. It might be over already.

Regarding the Scunt Goddess who was, shall we say, detained by Ohmie the Clown, et aI, it was fairly obvious to everyone that she rather enjoyed the whole thing. As for it being a bad move, we were only following direc­tions. We were told to serenade a Goddess, which we did, with the famous Ohmie the Clown song (Y' all weren't singing along, though). As well, the Frosh received points for res­cuing her; from what, we know not. To the best of our recollections, it was the Goddess who was not tied up who made all the fuss. Perhaps she forgot the theme of her own Scunt. Perhaps she forgot to take her Metamucil/Midol. Perhaps she had a yeast infection (it is a B-Soc joke). Perhaps she was jealous of all the attention accorded her companion. I guess we'll never know - joke'em if they can't take a fuck [sic].

Sincerely, Troy and Murray Begley.

PS: We would have tied up a guy, if given the chance, but we would not have sung to him.

The Iron Warrior Special Guest Star

DarkrooID Technician.

A Volunteer Position, not the Missionary Position.

,,' S DE~Ic,/V5D 76 I J.I r..,p.. EA S~ )oUR.. "-1 LLS

13 Y A FJ\clY<. OF 10,

October 30, 1992 Iron \\Tarrior IV Page 5

About the Bomber by Chandra Plumb

Still celebrating the fact that a Canadian baseball team has finally won the World Series, I would just

petition and collects enough money to bribe the DJ into not working. "Wow, man, I've never been paid not to work before. Thanks, this is really nice of you guys," the DJ says. There was

like to make a comment about where I watched the game last Saturday night. I like the Bomber. It's a

~ . .turns the whole ball of -fish into a different kettle

of wax ...

much cheering when he (final­ly) turned the music off. Needless to say, I think we paid for his

nice place. But those of us who were not in front of the big screen on this historical occasion, but were viewing the game on the little TVs on the other side, ran into a bit of a problem with the Bomber management. They were taking stupid pills or something and decided there was no reason why they should turn off the music so we could hear the commentator. Meanwhile back at the ranch, the other side of this favourite hangout spot, could hear just fine. Nice man­agement. Brain dead? Maybe. Didn't they know the only reason we were all there that night was to see the most exciting baseball game in Canadian history? Duh. They had a DJ coming. He get's paid $9.2S/hr or something. So this girl went around to all the tables and gets everyone to sign a

drinks that night. Yeah, we were pretty insistent and a little obnoxi01-lS, but you do what you have to do. I think every­one who was there can relate when I say that I was totally shocked at the way the Bomber management was acting. Given the magnitude of the events on screen ... maybe they don't like baseball? Or just stupid? Or what? Actually, I'm speechless. Isn't the customer always right? When 100% of the people in your bar want the music turned down so they can watch a ball game, what's stopping you? Just do it. Guess where I won't be going to watch the next big game?

It starts with a B.

Yay for the Jays.

Message from a Dean con­cerning Midterms

If you are worried about your Midterm marks, I have a solution.

If the sum of your Midterm grades multiplied by any integer greater than two equals 666, I'm sure we can make a deal.

i.e., if d(GRADES) * I = 666, where I is an integer greater than 2.

It's your choice, but remember, I can make your life a living hell!

DEANF

Yay for the Jays by Marc Ouellette

I have to sa that I am shocked, appalled, dismayed and embarrass d by the member of the Toronto Blue Jays' bandwagon.

I am shocked that they claim to be Canada's team. Sorry, that" auld be the Boston Red So , if we went by fol­lowing and the number of Canadians on the team. See, people in the mar­itimes are Red Sox fans because that i the closest team to them. The Red Sox, with Mike Gardner, of Samia, and Paul Quantrill, of London, lead the majors with two Canadians. When the Expos have Matt Stairs and Larry Walker in the lineup, they tie for the lead. I guess I should not be so shocked since to Tronnies, their city is all of Canada anyway. They never once stopped to think that perhaps residents of western Ontario and southern Manitoba are Braves or Twins fans. The Braves used to play in Milwaukee, but to Jays fans that was before baseball was invented, er I mean came to Hogtown.

I am totally appalled by the us versus the Americans attitude so many took, both fans and media alike. Nationality has nothing to do with it. To be quite honest the Americans do not really care and that is probably because they never realized they shared North America with anyone in the first place. Like a lot of people from southwestern Ontario, especially from London down, I am a Tigers fan. Tigers fans hate the Jays, for the most

10 t. And do not try to deny it, either, especially after the reaction after the Alomar call at the plate, and the alleg d triple play furor.

The di mayed part comes when I look at the general lack of baseball knowl­edge and respect which was exhibited by those who jumped on the band­wagon. Too much knowledge, a la Tim McCarver is an awful thing, but anybody who would boo Jack Morris and cheer Kelly Gruber is a couple fries short of a happy meal, plain and Simple. In baseball you are doing incredibly well if you win 60% of the time. Counting the post season, Morris won 70% of the time. Without him, the Jays were only fifteen games over .500. Gruber, on the other hand is the highest paid .220 hitter in histo­ry. Nuff said. To prove how bad the media is, the CBC radio morning crew from Toronto today (26 October) made the claim that the Blue Jays were probably the, "greatest franchise in the history of professional sport." This after one championship. Stupid me, of course they are; the Boston CeItics, New York Yankees, Montreal Canadians, Brooklyn/Los Angeles Dodgers, St. Louis Cardinals, Pittsburgh Pirates, Minneapolis/Los Angeles Lakers, Dallas Cowboys and a few others obviously pale in com­parison with a team that has won as many championships as the Jays. Then, to further swallow his Florsheims, the "sportscastor" went on to make comments about how a lot of teams have never been to the World Series and will never deserve

. An w~ have to say s, "'T987",' r'i, .... -._,-:;:;.. ....... ,~_

and they scurry for cover, whining that Bill Madlock's slide was a fla­grant attempt to injun' Tony Fernandez. Of ourse it was, but th,)1 is how you pby the game wh ')1 YOll

want to win (If they were not too busy being so fickle towards him, J<lys junkies might notice that Jack Morris brought that kind of altitude to what had been one of the wimpiest It'ams in the game). So, when Otis Nixon grounded out to end the sixth ganlt', there were indeed anadians who were not ecstatic. Those of us whose.' Canada includes baseball played out­side, on grass, in stadiums built for baseball, where they serve b er in 16 oz, or bigger, tubs and they do not sing that stupid song and do calis­thenics during the seventh inning stretch were all mortified. We knew that if the Jays won we would never hear the end of it; we knew if the Jays lost we would never hear the end of it. The bandwagon would have cried conspiracy, that there was a plot against a "Canadian" team, had they

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Page 6

On Saturday November 14th, the University is extending a warm wel­come to alumni, students, potential students, their families, and the gener­al public when it throws open its doors for the UW open house. The open house is in honour of the University's 35th Anniversary and will be run in conjunction with Homecoming Weekend. Events are scheduled from 10:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. campus wide. All six university facul­ties are participating in the celebration along with the book store, the gift shop, Conrad Grebel and St. Paul's United colleges, and food services.

The Faculty of Engineering has much planned for our visitors. We are look­ing for volunteers to help us escort visitors from South Campus Hall, Davis Centre, and Carl Pollock Hall to the main department bases of interest. P .... 5 points will be awarded to those students willing to give up some of their time. As well, a souvenir T-Shirt will be provided for the volunteer during the event, and as a souvenir. Some of the departments are still in need of volunteers to guide tours and/ or staff the displays as well. A sign-up list will be posted in the Orifice for those who are interest d in lending a hand. Let's show the other faculties how well engineering stu­dents participate. Or in other words, PLEASE lend us a hand in offering these visitors our best in hospitality.

The Faculty of Applied Health Science is running the 8th annual Homecoming 5km Fun Run in the morning from 10:00 until 12:00. From 1:00 to 4:00 in the afternoon they will have a variety of tours and interactive demonstrations to give visitors an understanding of Health Studies, Dance, Kinesiology, and Recreation and Leisure Studies and how these disciplines have an impact on our health and well being. Visitors will be encouraged to browse through the Games Museum which will be featur­ing a new display "500 Years since Columbus", and invited to see how games from 500 years ago compare with games from today. The faculty will also have academic counselors available to meet with interested stu­dents to discuss admissions, areas of

Iron Warrior IV October 30. 1992

specialization, courses, careers, etc.

The Faculty of Arts has an environ­mental play planned, Drink the Mercury, to be presented twice during the open house and followed each time by a question and answer period. The two campus galleries (Modern Languages and East Campus Hall) will be open to guests for a Fine Arts Student Show. Second and third year fine arts students will be present as their work is demonstrated from 11:00 a.m. to 3:00 p.m. Lectures are sched­uled that feature professors from the Faculty of Arts. The Departments of Political Science presents "Canada at the Crossroads" at 11:30 a.m. and the Department of History presents "Where is Quebec in the Canadian Family now?" at 1:30 p.m. both one hour in duration and located in the ML Arts Lecture Hall Room 105. There will be an International Cafe organized and hosted in the Modern Languages building (ML) by the French, German, Spanish and Russian language clubs. Music, food, and entertainment can be had between the hours of 11:00 a.m. and 3:00 p.m. The faculty also plans to have a Mature Student Services information booth in

foyer, and information for high school students interested in Faculty of Arts programs.

The Environmental Studies Faculty will offer a variety of displays, envi­ronmental films, tours, a book sale and a mini campus day. Among the scheduled faculty research displays and the demonstrations are: Indonesian research, air photos, water conservation, economic development, architecture, an ecol9gy garden, tree rings, wolf research, and wetlands. Computer demonstrations on Geographic Information Systems and CAD will also be provided.

The Faculty of Engineering will be featuring all four mechanical cars will be shown. The S.A.E. formula race car will be displayed in the CPH foyer. The Midnight Sun Solar Car will be located at the Davis Centre in the foyer there. The Shell Fuel-A-Thon Car is scheduled to greet people as the enter the campus at South Campus Hall. And lastly, the Mini Baja will be

Celebrating 35 Years of Achievement

Saturday, November 14th, 1992

10:00am to 4:00pm shown at E3 2103G.

The main reception area for engineer­ing is in the Carl Pollock Hall (CPH) foyer. All of the departments have planned to have a main receiving area where information will be provided along with brochures, and in most cases, the start of departmental tours. These rooms are as follows:

Chemical Engineering will be based in E1 2517. Highlights are to include: Flow Visualization of Contaminates in Porous Media (E1 1540), Clean Water - Courtesy of Support Liquid Membranes (E1 2522), Design of a Chemical Reactor (E1 2524), Utilizing bugs that have an appetite for toxic waste (E1 2533), and Polymer Reaction Engineering: Green Polymers (E1 2550 and E1 2550A).

Civil/Geological will be based in CPH 3385. Highlights are to include: Scale models of highway bridges, Quicksand demonstrations, Remote sensing of environmental data by satellite, Bioengineering displays, Computer Aided Design of structures (CPH 3385), Hydraulic models of whirlpools and river bed erosion

ownstream from dams (E3 2141), Building science displays of new roof­ing materials, masonry, tie tests, and moisture penetration of walls (E3 2139).

Electrical/Computer will be based in CPH 1333. Highlights are to include: artificial Lightning (CPH 1332), the latest in high resolution graphics an animation, how ICs are designed using computer graphics (E2 2364A), the chance to experience virtual reali­ty, the latest in computerized test equipment developed, how good your amplifier is, a simple experiment in digitizing audio signals, talking over a light beam, a custom IC from start to finish, From Sand to Amplifier, machine performance control, watch­ing the waveforms of your favorite station (E2 2356).

Mechanical will be based in E3 2103G. Highlights are to include: Wind tun­nel testing of aircraft wing sections and buildings (E3 2103), Computer aided manufacturing with our WAT-

ROBIN Robot (CIM LAB), Examining materials with our scanning electron microscope (E3 2117), Laser materials processing with a C02 laser (E3 2116), Using lasers to study pool fires (E3 2134).

Systems Design will be based in E2 1307C. Highlights are to include: WATSUN solar energy laboratory, Geographical Information System (GIS) (E2 1303B), Vision and image processing lab (E2 1303J), Pattern Analysis and Machine Intelligence (PAMI)(CIM LAB), Biomedical research laboratory (DC 2576), NeXT machines running a variety of pro­grams to show their uses (CPH 1335).

The Engineering Education Research Centre (EERC) plans to have the Beacon Lab (E2 1313) open for demon­strations: high resolution graphics and animation; solid modelling dis­plays; and computer algebra systems (MAPLE). Showing in the Libra Lab (E2 1302) will be: STELLA Systems Thinking Experimental Learning with Animation; MAPLE computer algebra system; MATHEMA TICA computer algebra system; and LogicWorks interactive Digital Circuit Design. The WATSTAR room at E2 1308 will have demos running of most popular soft­ware packages.

Engineering Undergraduate Studies plans to have two rooms open, E2 1310 and CPH 1320B. The first, better known as the Graphics Lab, will have displays on Multi-media Year One Instruction; Engineering Admissions Information; and International Exchange Program Information. The latter will be titled the "Student Experience Room" and will include displays answering questions such as "What is Engineering really like?" and "What is the transition from high school to University like?". The Women in Engineering Committee will also provide a display in this room for visitor information.

The Engineering Society is planning on having a reception area in POETS. There will be Waterloo Engineering Endowment Fund (WEEF) representa-

continued on page 7

October 30, 1992 Iron Warrior IV Page 7

The Sandford Fleming Foundation Waterloo Campus Activity

4306 Carl Pollock Hall , University of Waterloo, Waterloo, Ontario, N2L 3G1 (51 9) 888-4008

rrTie SantiJora :Ffeming :Founaation is pfeasea to announce tfie Winners of tlie 1992 'Teacfiing 5lLssistantsfiip ~~ce«ence J1LwardS:

Paul Ibbotson Chemical Engineering

Mani Vaidyanathan Electrical & Computer Engineering

Jason Argent Mechanical "Engi neering

David Flynn Civil Engineering

Imtiaz Mohammed Management Sciences

Ian Kilpatrick Year 1 Engineering

to 6e presentea at tlie 17tfi J1Lnnuaf ~ngineering J2lwaras tIJinner, ?{ovem6er 24tli

continued from page 6

tives present along with an informa­tion display dealing with the services that the society provides both inter­nally and in the community. Executive and Directors will accom­pany the picture display, "A Life In The Day of an Engineer". Novelty sales will take place in the Orifice (CPH 1327). The Concrete Toboggan Guys/Girls will be having a BBQ in the CPH foyer and will be joined by Grad. Comm from 11:00 a.m. to 2:00 p.m.

The Faculty of Math plans to host a Math Fair adjacent to the Great Hall in the Davis Centre. It will feature visual displays, hands-on activities and interactive computer programs, all to show that math is fun! L f r the pinK balloons and banners to locate exhibits. The displays will include: a computer graphics demon­stration of warping images; computer displays of fractal geometry; demon­strations of MAPLE software, with 3-D computer images; hands-on display of physical devices illustrating basic mathematical principles; an historical display of computational devices; a multi-meia demonstration of Rapid Application Development, using applications combining sound, images and motion video. Math videos are to be shown continuously in DC 1350. The Canadian Mathematics Competition will pre-

An organization devoted to the advancement of engineering education .

sent puzzles, games and challenges for visitors of all ages. Statisticians will calculate the statistical odds of winning lotteries and games of chance. Actuaries will calculate inter­est payments, and calculate life expectancy according to various risk factors. The Undergraduafe Computer Science Club will present Othello games and other student writ­ten programs. And last but certainly not least, visitors are welcome to take home an "I love Math" pink balloon!

The Faculty of Science, Waterloo Centre for Groundwater Research is having its official opening of the per­manent groundwater display at 11:00 a.m. at the Earth Sciences Building, Room 271. The theme is "We're all in this together" with speakers from the Waterloo astewater for the egion, the Waterloo Centre for Groundwater Research, and the UW Earth Science Department. Four water drilling rigs will be set up in B1 parking lot. Drillers will be on hand to answer questions.

The focus of Conrad Grebel College will be to showcase their new and refurbished facilities, not least of which is a dining room which can seat 250 people, a gleaming new kitchen and servery area. Guests are welcome to wander up the hill anytime from 1:00 to 4:00 p.m. The UW Music department housed at Conrad Grebel College will be presenting a Chamber Choir in the Davis Centre Great Hall

SCUNT NOTICE The editors would like to pOint out that although they had help from Alcorjthm and FASS, G$ were the winners of the Scunt. So there.

from 1:00 until 1:30 p.m.

You are invited from 2:00 to 4:00 p.m. to visit St.Paul's College to enjoy the academic displays, alumni memora­bilia, art and photography displays, student profiles and college tours. Refreshments will be served .

A tour of ~1", ··" ~t1S would not be complete \,. visit to the UW Bookstore & Gift Shop at South Campus Hall or the Varsity Sports Shop at Red North Physical Activities Comples (PAC). The Bookstore & Gift Shop is celebrating 25 years of service at South Campus Hall. Special fea­tures include: free "POUNCE" with purchase of $50.00 or more at the Gift Shop; 10% off UW crest Dictionary rom the Boolcstore and free uWAR­

RIORS" stick-on tattoo from the Varsity Sports Shop.

The following will be open by food services: 9:00 a.m. - 4:00 p.m. South Campus Hall Pastry Plus 10:00 a.m. - 4:00 p.m. Campus entre Wild Duck Cafe 10:00 a.m. - 4:00 p.m. Davis nlre Food Fair

Come on out and join the fun! Spr ad the news to family and friends. We want to have large numbers show to join the celebration!

----_._--------------------' Lo-____ ___ • __ ._. ____ ._. __ --'

The Adventures of

Casey Jones

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Page 8 Iron Warrior IV October 30, 1992

The New Wave of Disco-Cheese Metal

by Michael Armata and Leif Reinhold

THE BANDS

KMFDM: So, Monday after our midterm we went to Fed to see Glam Rock. We didn't want to, but the once "GODLIKE" KMFDM has now revert­ed to a "Slick-Toxic"-type format with Paul Stanley and C.C.Deville on Glam-Guitar. In the middle of once respectable industrial-dance tunes (that have metamorphasized into Cheese-Meta!), the two dudleys broke in unannounced (and uninvited) with dribblingly glamorous solos (ono­matopoeia- the word that I spelt with­out a dictionary) and ruined every­thing. As for the masculine Go-Go dancer, get a woman who has musical talent instead of an iron-dad leather­tasseled Barbie Doll.

Recommendations: Get back the orig­inal band members and that raw German-African Dance sound, and start over.

DIGIT: We hate bands that wear their own shirts. We also don't believe the trendy Brit. accent, the 90210 shades [Hey, back off! -Ed!, or the pretty dance. I did like it though when buddy was thrown off stage by the bouncer. The music wasn't bad, if you're into that sort of Depeche Mode-type thing.

Recommendations: Cut the pretty

dance.

THE CROWD

Four Groups: 1) The persons who went there to see an industrial-dance concert and were mildly disappointed with the glam­rock bit.

2) The persons who went there because they heard the word "alterna­tive" used. ( No. The CFNY Dance is THIS week. )

3) The skinny guy with the net-top, spandex, pointed booties, and scary chicken-dance.

4) The cop.

Note: Even though we won't go to see either band again, Bent as an organi­zation, is pulling through with some amazing concerts. Besides, how else will they pack Fed Hall on a Monday Night?

Who we would like to see: Sonic Youth ( What!. . .They're already coming? ), Body Count, The Mission UK, Lard, assorted T.O. bands, NoMeansNo (again), The Young Gods, Stompin' Tom, Jonny Cash, assorted European Industrial bands .... and definitely NOT The Barenaked Ladies.

THE FROG CROAK I T ht, !IO~ 1\ lIU<ltJUlHl,dl\ !lw

rnf)~t lo\.lhlt..· J.11l~llItl1.H' OUl fru!!, ",Ifer f".111.1 b.ld ICP'

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INSTRUCTIONS . . I. Shape\ourmouthasir,ou

were going to sing the \', .. \' lowest "0" 'ound that ,'Oll can. \ our throJt should oe \'cry open and YOllr lips in an "0" shape.

2. Exhale a 10'" "0" wund, then mhull the same low "0" sou nd to produce 3 \er\' hu)lo". '''SOI1Jl1t but almo~t crJckl\' ,ound. PrJClice t~1I> dct'p. gullu ral Inhaled croilk.

3. :\s "ou lllhale the low lOnt:. keep >our throdt "ery open and anu . .:ula te a "\\ah" with your mouth Dr3w the "w3h" out long .. r to >Qund

~ .

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\\" lIh .. nlllt' PI'.JctH.t.: '.Oll ,hould )ound 'tW. ~ JrHi mOll' like: ,t fru~ Gill{' \ I)U :lJ\ c malott'red the b.l")i( nnd~, \()U (.In (tIl ,e\er.d f!-o~ \~Hi· r

JUli US 1'1) mai..(' the d.b'IC "~I ibll" ,.)und. pnxluce 'our mll,dcd nr)Jklng )ound ;lnd JU!lt iilh;llt.· the I "Old "rlbll:' Then tl\ o ther frog I fa'o i lles luch JI "brcep" Jnd ··lIec· deep:'

SUGGESTIONS The Frog Cro •• k ,huuld be u~ed With \ome di,nct1on for II can ea",· I;" be nll>[aken fOI an ~1t .. l(k of ga,. Tn hunJ...crtn" do\\ n lI)ln a crouch on Jil fOllrs. Croak .•• nd thell lap ' Ollr looglle nut qUlck h, .1 fc\\' times.

Hoppllll( ')11.111 fl)ur~ and "nec· dccpll\g" vour hJ. \' IIIW ,i sal!!') c()n­ference or blolug" r\"s "ill get "Oll POlnl!rl for llt.".lli, ,t\-hul m.l\ 3"0

get '011 plllwd and d",ectc:-d.

Stupid Lyrics of the Week brought to you by Leif Reinhold

This week featuring: Acting Like Black Sabbath

by Oayglo Abortions

Acting like Black Sabbath is so much fun Their records sound so

heavy when I tum them on (inaudible) I almost make the change

Acting like Black Sabbath Acting like Black Sabbath Acting like

Black Sabbath

Toni Iommi is my God (inaudible) Ozzy Osbourne so out in space

He'd probably love me if I pissed in his face

Acting like Black Sabbath Acting like Black Sabbath Acting like

Black Sabbath Oh, no .... no ...... noooooo! Oh my God, I got it!

Acting like Black Sabbath is lots of fun Their records sound so

heavy when I turn them on Acting like Black Sabbath I can almost

make the change

Acting like Black Sabbath Acting like Black Sabbath Acting like

Black Sabbath Oh noo!

Danzig III HoW" The Gods Kill

Pretty fucking good/5

by Leif Reinhold

Many consider Glenn Danzig the last true American rocker. His career hav­ing taken him from punk (Misfits) all the way to today's heavy, eerie DanZig. It's like Elvis' voice trapped in Jim Morrisson's steroid-pumped body, and having exchanged his soul for demonic possession.

The addition of keyboards to Danzig's dark sound makes the arrangements all the more effective, creating a hor­ror-movie like atmosphere. Musically, while maybe not as varied and bluesy as Danzig II - Lucifuge, this album is amazing. Very few bands, especially in the metal area, can combine great melodies with powerful riffs . There is no band that can come even close. The best way to describe this album is to take your favourite song by the Cult, make it sound a lot more powerful, darker, and scarier, and add Glenn's singing of rather 'different' topics. The opening intro to 'Godless' should keep people interested to check out the rest of the album. From evil,

heavy (ie. Bodies) to evil soft ballads (ie. How the Gods Kill) to almost mainstream rock (Dirty Black Summer), this album will keep you corning back. It is truly a statement on the fine talent of Glenn Danzig, Eerie Von, John Christ, and Chuck Biscuits. Great riffs, great drumming, great howling. Maybe this album should be taken seriously lyrically, but musical­ly it rules. It will take you through all the emotions.

p.s.: 1 know that 'other' paper on this campus already reviewed this album and found it crappy. Simply another indication of how closed-minded peo­ple keep commercial bullshit and bad dance music in business because they are scared to express their opinion. Conformism sucks!

As Glenn Danzig would say (from Godless):

I ask all who have gathered here to join me in this feast. May we always be strong in body, spirit, and mind. And all those who would try to harm us, let them be cast aside.

~ote: ______________________________ ___

~ __________ . ______ ~ ____ ~-A ______ ~

October 30, 1992 Iron 'Varrior IV Page 9

Not Jays continued from page 5

to be. To which his sidekick added ,"Yeah, like Chicago. They've never been," and the other guy said, "I think they might have." You think. Listen there was baseball before 1977. In fact most of the people(are yuppies peo­ple?) who infest that multi-purpose thing where they try to simulate base­ball, have only discovered baseball in the past six or eight years. It is good to come out and support the horne team. Just try not to be so stupid about it. To those fans who sat through the Doug Ault years, at Exorcism, sorry, Exhibition Stadium, in the snow and wind I respect you. These are baseball fans. They proba­bly know that Sparky Anderson once played in Toronto, for the Maple

Leafs. It is the Johnny corne latelies who are letting you down. Law Tip 0' the Week

G1HO'S PIZZA

University Shop Plaza

747-9888 160 University Avenue. W.

FREE DELIVERY

~."I 110 onl;:n t"l~ 1Oc·, tl')n • neE 'o/allo .....,th 8"V Diner olter p iuS dot)llcable sales laIC

Finally, I am embarrassed as a Canadian by all of the above. All of the, "How do you feel about a team from Canada being in the series?" questions were really pathetic. It makes us seem really self conscious, like a little snot nose brat longing for the approval of his parents. Canadians seem to enjoy smugly thinking they are better than Americans and then they pull stuff like that. Nobody cares. A real base­ball fan would pay to sit through nine innings of the 1977 Jays play the 1990 Braves, who combined for about 200 losses for one reason, love of them game. So you see, it really does not matter where the teams are from, the W orId Series is still the pinnacle and in the world of the long suffering Brooklyn Dodgers fans, wait until next year.

By the way, just as a footnote, the California Angels once tried to buy themselves a championship, in much the same way the Jays did. They did get one division championship, but they also ended up with a season which included: Lyman Bostock being shot and killed; MVP Don Baylor having a broken bone, the bone healing and then breaking another one; Bobby Grich missing most of a season; Rick Burleson need­ing shoulder surgery; future Hall of Farner Rod Carew spending most of his time healing from assorted little things. Anything can happen and that is the beauty of the game.

FRANZ KAFKA'S MARMODUKE

" I don't care if Man's existence IS a futile search for personal salvation in a world of guilt. anxiety, and isolation ...

get the hell out of my chairl "

--------------------------------

by Mark " Law is my Middle ameli Vidler

So you've been i sued a summon, plead 'Not Guilty', or just dropped by the court room to wr ak havoc on th increasingly efficient Justice System 0' Canada (fanfare please). There are several ways to ensure the smooth execution of your trial. There e ists a plentitude of different Overseers of Justice in the judicial system of this land of ours. However, I can only think of two - actual full-blown judges and those Justice of the Peace guys. The division between the two is some­what hazy, as 'is the selection process, however Iny personal belief is that they are awarded the titl of judge solely on the basis of anal retentive­ness and poor dressing habits (although the former is most cmcial). That said, let's take a look at the court room proceedings.

If you want a shot at winning, the best way to get off to a good start is not to dress like Relic of 'The Beachcombers'; it's a fashion state­ment sure, but unless the judge (jus­tice) was a bad actor in a former life it's best to dress up. Note: If the trial is in B.C. you might want to disregard that last hint; judges are like profs and the 70's statement could aid your quest. Usually a look of professional­ism is not complimented by the Mickey Mouse suspenders or the bat­tery powered flashing bow tie.

Once your attire has been selected you must choose the method of

. 1 I b your personality type and your reac­tion to the whole prescription dmgs -alcohol mixing thing. The most com­mon options op~n to th d 'f 'tHiant are self-d f nce or enlisting th' aid ot a lawyer. The latter can prove to b' somewhat costly and infinitely less exciting, d pending on your ne 'd (want) to gel off the hook, and your views of freedom of expression, per­sonal freedom, and contempt of court. I prefer to defend myself in situations like this becau e: a) I usually have just spent my la:;t work-term earnings on beer, pizza, and batteries for my ties; b) I tend to trust myself with my lif' more than, say, a guy who ranked 67th in his law class (for the record, I ranked 63rd); c) 1 invariably have a better time con­fusing the judge and prosecuting attorney than I would have if I just sat there and looked remorseful. I would also like to say at this point that, for a small fee, I am available for personal counselling pertaining to court room appearances.

t---"f-lr-------~-- -._-.------1

TIl b st approach to fighting a charge i to use the knowledge that God (Waterloo Engineering) gave you. Think about it. If you can reduce and explain every action you took in terms

f physics, do you really think that someone who went to Western for law has a hope in hell of understand­ing you? Not a chance. For example, in April I was clocked speeding at about 126 on the 401. My first reac­tion was ( orrectly) to lie and tell the cop that I had just, that self-same day, broken up with my girlfriend of 16 years. He didn't bite, so I had to plead not guilty. My strategy for the trial wa a simple one: use physics to provide reasonable doubt (use this term a lot in the court, judges love it) that the cop could be sure that he had a reading of my car. My logic went like this: i) The car behind me was SOOm away, and he passed the cop and I after, say, 21s. This means that his speed was about 130km/h. ii) The cop was 5m from the lane when he took his radar reading, at which point I was SOOm away from him. If you use trig this will mean that the cop had only to mov the end of the radar 3mm to pOint it at the car behind me. iii) I could then explain the radar's modis operendi in terms of Huygen's wavelets and point out that these waves do not move in a straight line, rather with a curved motion due to diffraction (remember, feel free to bullshit mightily at any given time and be as technical as pOSSible, they're all only lawyers and cops.). . '1 tl ul U if he were the best marksman at his station, and upon being told no, I could point out the fact that if the cop cO\lldn't be dSSUH' I of kl' 'Pll1g .1 pi~­

tol (which rl'l ',lst'S iI stl.light lillt.' pro je till') poinll'd ill tIlt' l' ,Ict difl'clloll, how ould h .. , hopt, to do so with iln ina cural(> 1.ldar gun? Anuth r approach to this probll'O"\ is to g't a s ht'IlHlti' of tlH' r.ll.lar gun and familiarize yoursl,I[ wilh it. Wh 'n you qu 'stioJ\ till' op, ,'sk him if he knows how a radar gUll works. Whatev(~r he says, you can ask him to

xplain what diod ' 32A do S or at what lagging powl'r phase the rndar works on. lIt.' won't know and then you an condud ) that he has no idea how the thing opcrall's. Case dos d.

An Important thing to keep in mind, however, is that you should always be rcady to compromise. An easy way to do this is to find out which station the officer works at and try to drop a few names of cops you know that he might. I didn't know anyone from the London detachment but 1 took a shot

continued on page 10

Page 10 Iron Warrior IV October 30, 1992

Law Tips continued from page 9

and mentioned a cop from Waterloo. The guy knew him and I started talk­ing to the cop a bit. The police officer will usually be in good spirits at the trial because s/he is getting time and a half for being there. While talking to the cop I told him that I had to get back to work or they wouldn't let me work overtime on the weekend. I told him that I would plead not guilty to 14 over, he said the prosecutor would accept 15 over, and a deal was struck. So by this compromise I was able to save $50 and get a no pOint infraction. I still didn't get to try out my argument, but I'm sure that I will be able to next summer.

Yet More Envirotips

That said, you can now decide to pro­ceed with the trial or attempt to bar­gain with the lawyer. Your life, your driving record, your call. One other point though; I still haven't paid my fine and I was even able to do all those things at the DMV that you're not supposed to do with an outstand­ing fine, like register a vehicle, renew my plates, and renew my license. I'll let you know if anything comes of it.

Tune in next issue when I'll feature Jeff and Akbar on the topic 'How to Keep One Step Ahead of the Law and INTERPOL'.

This article was brought to you by the letters P, I, and G, and by the num­bers 6 and 9.

This issue's special is on non-toxic cleaning.

Here are a few tips.

Pick up a box of laundry soap instead of detergent for normal clothes wash­ing. Laundry soap is much kinder to the environment than detergent. Try laundry soap and intersperse it with detergent occasionally. Most deter­gents are petroleum based and this means that they break down very slowly and leave residues that don't disappear. Phosphates are used to help soften the water and also help algae grow by acting as a fertilizer in the marine environment which uses up the oxygen and kills other marine life.

Use borax or washing soap in the laundry instead of bleach. These are found on the shelves near the deter­gents in the stores and are much kinder to the environment than bleach.

Buy a plunger. Don't use harmful chemicals like Liquid Plumber to unplug a drain or toilet unless really necessary. If the problem is really serious a "plumber's snake" may be necessary. If you need a snake you can probably rent one from a tool company. If the problem is serious enough to need a snake, chemicals probably won't do much good any­way. Another idea is to try some pre­ventive maintenance. If your drain is starting to slow down check for blockage (ie hair in the shower drain. If that isn't the problem, try pouring

boiling water down the drain and add 1/2 cup of washing soda. Then wait 15 minutes and pour in more boiling water. Use of washing soda in the laundry will also help keep laundry drains clear.

Don't buy special toilet cleaners. Sprinkle a little baking soda on the toilet brush and swish it around the bowl. To disinfect the toilet pour in 1/2 cup of borax and let it stand for about 1 hour.

Clean sinks and appliances with bak­ing soda and vinegar. Pour some vinegar in the sink (with the plug in) and then swish it around. Add some baking soda and let it fizz. Then wipe it clean with a rag after a minute or two. This handy trick can also be used on countertops, appliances and for general cleaning.

First a warning about the next two tips. To use these and to stay alive don't mix ammonia with bleach as it will make deadly fumes. Ammonia is a good cleaner, biodegradable and cheap, but corrosive and the fumes may be harmful. But who knows what the fumes of other cleaners are like.

First mix your own all-purpose heavy-duty cleaner. Put about 4 liters of water, 1/2 cup of ammonia, 1/2 cup of vinegar and 1/4 cup of baking soda in a pail. Then use it on floors, walls, bathroom sinks, appliances, counters, etc. Don't use it on copper or aluminum (ie your aluminum kitchen sink) and make sure you have

ventilation when

I:IE CAMPUS SHOP I3j presents using ammonia.

LEATHER JACKET DAY

$315.00 includes : front crest back lettaring - "University of Water/oo" or "Your Faculty" all sleeve cresting - Grad year & faculty chOice of men 'S or ladies' fit

• choice of collar - mandarin or self collar • choice of letter style - single felt or double felt • choice of colours - black, gold, navy, maroon, forest green • other options available

Oct. 26 & 27 10am to 4pm LEATHER $315.00 MELTON & LEATHER $199.00

$100 DEPOSIT REQUIRED ort Leather Garments Ltd .

. ' -._----....

Put a small bowl of ammonia (about 1/4 cup) in your oven, after it has been used and is still warm. It may be a good idea to let everyone know that you have done this so that nobody turns the oven on. The next morning let the fumes out and then wipe the oven down with a damp rag. Again watch out for the liquid ammo­nia coming in contact with aluminum or copper (ie your oven thermostat).

Use cedar to repel moths instead of moth balls which contain poison. Some stores sell cedar blocks, chips or even hangers for this purpose.

Use a facecloth and warm water to remove makeup instead of cotton balls or q-tips which a used once and then thrown away.

Try to buy your toiletries at environ­mentally friendly stores like The Body Shop or any other such store instead of the drug store or supermarket.

Try water first before reaching for a cleaner. Soak a rag in warm water and then leave it on that sticky or dirty spot for a few minutes and then I try to wipe it clean. If that doesn't work then try using a cleaner.

Please recycle the Iron Warrior when done reading it.

Environmentally yours, Enviroman

October 30, 1992 Iron Warnor IV Page 11

CONTEST!!!$$ Waterloo is bidding to hold CCES '95 and we need a logo for our bid.

Logo design must make some reference to: CCES, Waterloo and 1995.

Any other artistic additions encouraged.

This is the biggest most impressive Engineering conference held in Canada, let's make it the best ever for 1995.

PRIZE for BEST LOGO: $50 + a T-shirt with your designed logo!

Submit all entries to the VP-External Box in the Orifice.

POEn am Sessions

"where Jillli learned to pIny ... "

Where?: CPH POETS When?: Tuesdays Bpm - 12 am

If you play: Any instrument Any style At any level

These sessions are definitely you ... All Faculties welcome!

For more info on Watstar, contact: kewarkentin@chep:1ical

or astessier®mechanical

If you would play the music below, we don't want you at the POETS Jam.

Slowly

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Bkt-Ball Tourney As of92 10 1

(Oct. 1 for you losers)

1. Frog (38 Chern)

2. Mech Me Wet (38 Me h)

3. G$ (38 Comp)

-1 . Untouch<lbles (4A Sys)

5+6 Fuzzy Monkees (38 Civ)

Chemtaminated (lA Chem)

7+8 Frank Sinatras (old Sys)

Chenwicted (2A Chem)

Personals I am shy, 5 ' 11" , 130 Ibs, and of Scottish descent. As a male with all the charisma and sex appeal of a cologne ad, I feel secure in my se -uality and attractiveness. If you are not too short, not too dumpy, and not too male, I would like to place my brand on you. My hobbies include horseback riding, riding in jeeps, wrassling steers, talking on the phone for hours, and reeking of (manly) per­fume. If you are the filly for me, give me a call at 725-8656 and ask for Stets.

EVENTS SEMI-FORMAL HALLOWEEN NAUTICAL #2 JOINT COUNCIL

ENG SOC COUNCIL #4 EXEC. NOMINATIONS OPEN BEER BREWING CONTEST BLOOD DONOR CLINIC (CC) REMEMBRANCE DAY EXEC. NOMINATIONS CLOSE DOOMSDAY ENG SOC COUNCIL #5 TAL-ENG (tentative) VOLLEYBAll TOURNEY VOTE!!!!!!!

ENG SOC COUNCil #6 & POTLUCK DINNER LAST DAY OF CLASSES MEMORIAL OAY EXAMS (*#$%!!???&@)

OCT. 30 OCT. 31 OCT. 31 OCT. 31

NOV. 4 NOV. 4 NOV. 5 NOV. 6 NOV. 11 NOV. 13 NOV. 13 NOV. 18 NOV. 19 NOV. 22 NOV. 24

DEC. 2 DEC. 4 DEC. 6 DEC. 9-22

We, being Brent, Stets, and Mark, hereby wish to laugh at all of you because we are secure in the knowl­edge that we have in excess of twen­ty-six (26) cases of beer in our base­ment, which has but one entrance, and a heavily guarded one at that. If this announcement has made you weep with jealousy, go drown your sorrows somewhere else.

The Iron Warrior is pleased to an nounce that,

after a long and bitterly fought battle,

Beverly Hills 90210 has been reinstated as

POETS's premier drama.

~ rw Submissions 3 ~ 3,

j So you want to submit to the Iron Warrior, but you have absolutely no idea: .~ where to start. Here arc somt' poinlers fnll1\ till' fnl'ndly stilff .\l Lilt' Iron } ~ Warrior thal will make it infinitely l'<ll;il'r for l'Vl'rYl)J) ' . ~

i g ~ First of all, the creative side. Submit <lily thing YOII wilnt to. We'n' nnt ;. ~ picky and can use just about anything Yl)u ' d like 10 )!,iw liS. Writ· to till' ~ ~ best of your ability and our handy dandy edilorinl staff will take C(lr(' of the g ~ rest. If you think what you havc to say is inter 's ling or importnnt, We .., ~ probably have an iludicnc [or it. ~ o -~ ~ E Next, the technical side. Documents arc preferably lyped anJ submitted :l ~ ~

~ on 3.5" diskette (Give us your name and we'Jll'ven return th ' disk). We -§ can use either Mac or MS-DOS (ormats, but would prefer Mac. NO 3 (5 PAPER, PLEASE. Please add absolutely no formatting on the do lImenl, g ] that's what our editorial and layout people are for (i'e: no special fonts, ::: ~ styles, paragraph indents, or extra lines). Ph~ase include negaUves with all ~ .~ photos. Put submissions in the lW box in th Orifice. ::: . r:;

o ~ '12 See how easy it is? And, as an added benefit, your class will even get piUS ~ ~ points. Well don't just sit there... :::

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I ;;ji!~: In Living Color

.~;:::~:;~.;).::: .... ,' .':

"::~,~i[g8r Cheers t;~: . ":::.; .

Married .. . with Children

'12:30 SIal' Trek, TNGv lierman's I lead

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Woops

Star Trek, TOS Ballnan

2:00 Fresh PI inee of !.kli.lir I I

I

Northern Exposure

Batman

Cheers

Quantum Leap

Batman, Animated I3cvcrly Hills, 90210

Red Dwarf

MOVIE Batman

Simpsons

Simpsoms

MOVIE Cheers

~==~h=============b===============:=*J==-============~==============b=============~

Davis Copy Centre now open evenings and Saturdays

Use the ON CAMPUS Photoco"pying', Bindery and Typesetting facilities

Cash Copy Centre Locations Engineering - E2 2353

Math and Computer - MC 5182 Both Libraries - LIB 218 and DC 1501

PLUS ·colour copying in Dana Porter Library - LIB 218

Photocopying • We serve "at 7¢ per copy (plus PST),

discount on volume copying. Collating, stapling and a variety of paper colours available at no extra cost (see the list of locations below) --~~

• Self serve copying at 10¢ per copy (available in the libraries and various locations on campus)

• Venda card copiers at 6¢ per copy are located in the Dana Porter and Davis Centre Libraries

Plastic Ring Binding Same day service available at Graphic Services, hours 8:00 am-4:30 pm

Copy Centre Locations Dana Porter Library - LIB 218, ext. 2956 Math Centre - MC 5182, ext. 2335 Engineering - E2 2353, ext. 2334 Arts Centre - HH 370, ext. 2336 Davis Centre Library - DC 1501 , ext. 3878

High Resolution Typesetting For high quality output try our Linotronic 300 Imagesetter (1270 dpi) or our VT600W Laser Printer (600 dpi).

We can typeset any computer file in PostScript format from a Mac diskette 5.25 inch PC diskette (low density only) 3.5 inch PC diskette SCRIPT on CMS TROFF on UNIX.

We can translate your PC file to our Mac and format into brochures, books, reports and flyers, etc.

For more information about typesetting located in GSC, call ext. 6324 or 5169.

Offset Printing Graphic Services, hours 8:00 am-4:30 pm

General information, call ext. 3451.

Graphic Services General Services Complex