the large print giveth and the small print taketh away (or, how i became an atheist) | dampcardigan

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30/03/2013 17:11The large print giveth and the small print taketh away (or, how I became an atheist) | dampcardigan

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The large print giveth and the small print taketh away (or, how I

became an atheist)

Posted by Damp Cardigan on March 30, 2013 2 Comments

I wasnt born an atheist. No one is born this angry and cynical, well, unless youre Tom Waits andyou originally penned the quote that titles this page. At the same time, I wasnt born a Christian orbelonging to any particular belief structure as children would never concern themselves with the

complexities of faith by choice. Both of these approaches to modern living are learned. Let meexplain, I was raised a Christian by Christian parents and through them I learned the trulyfrightening possibilities of the consequences of my actions and at no point did I question thejudgement of the power that presided over all of us. I didnt need evidence as the very realdirection of childrens faith is directed solely at their parents and that level of blind trust is neverevidence based.

My father was a Religious Education teacher. Some of my earliest memories of him involve himbeing holed up in his makeshift office, furiously marking exam papers for the extra money neededto fund two week long caravan holidays to France. Evidently, this was a man with a lot of faith. In

the odd little suburb we lived in was a church that me, and my two older siblings, wereencouraged to attend from the earliest age. This wasnt an old looking, stone building of rustic
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worship. Its a strange monstrosity of seventies architecture capped by a terrifying red crucifixthat still lights up at night like an all too easy metaphor for the evil that presides within. We evenjoined the choir and had to deal with fashion choices that reflected the morose nature of thehymns that are supposed to celebrate faith. I was christened in this church and, when I reachedreligious maturity at the grand old age of thirteen, I was confirmed in a bigger church.

So I had a pretty solid basis for a life of continued faith but somehow, somewhere along the way,my faith deserted me and in its place a new thing that I would eventually learn was calledatheism.

The first time I remember questioning what I was being told was not long after my confirmation. Iwas sat in the choir stalls on another Sunday morning whilst all of my friends were playingfootball or getting heavily into some Sunday morning cartoons. My family had since stoppedattending church and seemingly were using my continued attendance as an excuse to get thingsdone around the house without the irritating teenager spreading his acne-fuelled indignations onan unforgiving household. It was no longer a family activity, but more an exercise in domestic

convenience. I sat there wondering why it was only me who was forced to dress like a Victoriangirl and sing archaic, nonsensical songs whilst my family stayed at home and dealt withGrandmas incessant need to peel potatoes, even when none needed peeling.

When I would get home after a couple of hours of being lied to she would tell me how proud shewas that I sang in the choir and sometimes, would ask me to sing to her. Often I obliged but neverwithout a sense of unfairness. The horrible old bat could have left the spuds alone and come to seeher grandson sing in the arena his parents had chosen for him but instead expected theseperformances for free. Not even a hint of an extra quid in the thinly spread pocket money. At this

stage it became clear to me that it was as much a chore for them as it was for me with the onlydifference being that they had the power of refusal.

As my teenage argument style grew into a force of nature I too stopped attending the church andwhilst I dealt with the awful awkwardness of those formative years my time spent in the service ofGod was forgotten about.

It was when I was eighteen years old and my father had just revealed to us that he had beendiagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis that I would look again at everything that I had been taught.

All of this was new ground as for the first time I viewed it from someone elses point of view. Ihad always looked at my father as a religious person but on reflection I wondered how religioushe could have felt after being told his body would waste away and ultimately, fail him. Also, hereally wasnt a practicing Christian despite this image I had of him. He would attend church butonly as part of his role as an R.E teacher which ultimately translates to Ill go if someone pays me. IfI couldnt get any extra pocket money for going then why the hell should he?

It would seem that our involvement in the church as children happened as a result of a misplacedsense of responsibility on our parents behalf and not due to any aggressive belief in what wouldbe learned there. Perhaps it was the hope that base level morals would be instilled as if somehowchildren cant figure out that killing and stealing is bad for themselves. Scaring them into itsbetter right?


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As I have become older and more cantankerous my hatred for the hypocrisy of organised religionhas grown along with my newfound ability to shout at the television and admire a good pair ofslippers. I struggle to see how it does any good for anyone and the more I learn, the more theterrible lies told to children represents a sinister exercise in control. Its fear mongering andafforded no credibility when you consider the terrible crimes done to children by men of the clothand the profits made and kept by organisations that pretend to spread the word of a peasant, son

of a carpenter who sacrificed himself for us. He didnt by the way. If he was real, and I mean if, hewas misunderstood and martyred. Were good at that arent we?

So Im an atheist now. This does not mean I belong to a group of other atheists and we sit in apurpose built room of non-worship to discuss and sing about all the things we dont believe in.Even if its a movement that carries this danger the reality is were a growing number. Christiansargue that its just fashionable at the moment. Theyre wrong again, unless realistic thinking andalternative methods of teaching morality is in this month. How did we get this way? We realisedthat the contract offered by those selling faith is ultimately flawed. Basically, the large print giveth,and the small print taketh away. Thanks Tom.

Phil Watson.

Filed under Idiots, Religion, Humour, Funny, Blogging, Writing,Journalism, Atheism Tagged withReligion., Funny,Journalism, Faith, Writing, God, The Catholic Church, Atheism, Atheist, Easter, Church,Church of England, Organised Religion, Hymns, Church Choir, Death,Multiple Sclerosis, ReligiousEducation, Religious Education Teacher

Comments

2 Responses to The large print giveth and the small print taketh away (or, how I became

an atheist)

gingerfightback says:

March 30, 2013 at 2:56 pm (Edit)Great post sums it up we are born into into without that social pressure organised religion

dies a death as it is doing now which is wonderful.

ReplyDamp Cardigan says:

March 30, 2013 at 3:56 pm (Edit)Agreed. Its dying a proper death and its relevance in the modern world is dwindling,rightfully.

Reply
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dampcardigan These, are the facts.

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