Healing a child’s grieving heart…

Be there on special days and occasions. Certain days are bound to be hard for the grieving child, such as the child’s birthday, the birthday of the person who died, the anniversary of the death, holidays, and once-in-a-lifetime events such as school plays and graduation.

These days remind the child that an important person in his/her life can’t be there for him/her. Acknowledge the loss on these days by telling the child, “Your mother would be so proud of you”, or “Your brother (use the name) loved Christmas cookies, didn’t he?”

Right now, while you’re thinking about it, mark these special days on your planning calendar. Make a note to support the child somehow on those days! You both will benefit!!

HeRe ARe Some TipS foR Coping wiTH SpeCiAl DAyS AnD HoliDAyS:

• Get plenty of rest.• Try to tell those around you what you really need,

since they may not know now to help you. Ask for their understanding if you withdraw from an activity that doesn’t feel like a good idea to you.

• Acknowledge to yourself that the occasion may be painful at times.

• Let yourself feel whatever you feel.• Express feelings in a way that is not hurtful.• Don’t be afraid to rethink traditions. Keep in mind that

traditions, even long-standing ones, can be changed and can be resumed next year or not.

• Honor the memory of a loved one – give a gift or donation in his/her name, light a candle, display pictures and/or share favorite stories with supportive people.

• Discuss, ahead of time with family and/or friends, what each person can do to make this time special. Share in the responsibility, and see what can be eliminated or included to keep it less stressful.

• Think about what part of the event you are not looking forward to, and discuss with other participants ahead of time, what can be done to change it.

• Remember, its okay to laugh and enjoy yourself.• Make a shopping list ahead of time and shop on a good day.• Propose a toast to your loved one and invite people to share

memories.

Grief never ends, but it changesIt’s a passage, not a place to stay

Grief is not a sign of weaknessNor a lack of faith

It is the price of love

Nonprofit Org.US Postage

PAIDPermit No. 148

Lewiston, ID 83501

PO Box 1361Lewiston, ID 83501

The Little Big Wagon Raffle is happening now! Special thanks and gratitude to Maggi Alsager for her many years of service! Maggi is retiring from her work at the Willow Center after dedicating over 10 years of her time to grieving children and their families. Maggi was one of our very first volunteers when we began our support groups in January, 2000.

“It has been my honor to work with the volunteer coordinators and facilitators over the past eleven years. Their dedication and support to each other along with the kids and families make it possible to work through the worst of issues. It was my pleasure to facilitate the adult (parent) group. The compassion and support exchanged between parents/adults, and to me, has been unending. We were there for each other through the good times and the bad times giving our own unique support and just listening. The Willow Center has a lasting impact on those who are involved whether as volunteers or as families. It changes our lives for the better. It prepares us to face whatever life will throw at us. Thank you to everyone who has touched my life through the Willow Center. You will forever be in my heart.” – Maggi Alsager

The success of the Willow Center is due, in part, to the dedication of our volunteers! We thank each and every one of them for all that they give to the children, teens, and families involved in our program.

Volunteers of 2009-2010:

The Little Big Wagon Raffle is happening now!Look for our five themed wagons displayed around town! Help support the Willow Center by buying chances to

win one of the chock full wagons, each valued at over $600.

Drawing will be December 18th, 2010 at 2:00, at the Lewiston Center Mall! Tickets are $5 each or, 5 tickets for $20.We’d also like to thank our other wagon sponsors:

Banner Bank, D & B Farm & Home, Printcraft Printing, and Stillings & Embry Florists.

“A Hunting We Will Go” - A wagon full of hunting supplies for the hunter of the family. Sponsored by Bryan’s Archery!

“Just Toying Around” - The top ten (10) most popular and fun toys as researched by “time to play”. Eclectic collection of Santa’s finest!Sponsored by King Services and Construction!

“It’s all about Her!” - Items every woman will enjoy! Sponsored by The Garden Gate & Cottage and Wasem’s

“S’more Family Memories” - The complete camping set-up, including s’mores, to help you make new family memories out in the woods or in your backyard! Sponsored by Tri-State Outfitters

“SSSh! I’m Reading.” - A library of books for children of all ages. Sponsored by Rich and Susie Schaefer

Judy Rooney, Executive Director and Maggi Alsager, volunteer

Steve Button Deb StreetMimsi WiseJudy Adams

Maggi Alsager

Diana BeckerDyan Broemmeling

Kayla BurkeRita CalleryPat Church

Susan ComstockMary Lou Franzese

Jason HarwickKindra HibbardDebbie Keller

Resa KonkrightKarol McBride

Kelly McKeehanOrah Lee MorganBrittany Peters

Nancy RoschJennifer RotorsBrenda Sullivan

Amanda ThompsonJulie White

Willow Center - 208.791.7192Family Support Line - 509.780.1156

willow-center.org

Find us on Facebook

Wade McManigle, ChairInland Cellular

Ginny McGivney, Vice-ChairThe Steamery

Nicole Blair, SecretaryValley Boys and Girls Club

Renee OlsenLewis-Clark State College

Mary Lee FrazierClarkston Heights Market

Ron WiseRetired

Les ShriverCable One

Gina RinehartBanner Bank

Megan FreemanPresnell Gage

Renee LarrabeeRetired

Heather MarkwalterWalla Walla Community College

Angie BlewettRegence

Brent HardinPotlatch No.1 Federal Credit Union

Judy Rooney, MSWExecutive Director

BoARD of DiReCToRS

Twin County United way

Willow Center for Grieving Children provides support to children, teens and their families who are grieving a death.

WillowCenterNewsletter_Nov2010 1 11/19/10 8:13 AM

Mike & Judy RooneySt. Joseph Regional Medical Center*Ursula & Juergen Schrattenholzer Les & Denise Shriver*Samantha SkinnerThe Steamery*Alex & Michele Tibbits*Tri-State Memorial Hospital*United Church of Clearwater ValleyVillage Centre CinemasCarol WallaceJulie WhiteWillow Creative Floral & GiftsWayne & Shay Wood*

$500 - $999 Visionaries

Mike BordwellClarkston Heights Market- Mary Lee & John FrazierClarkston High School ASBFriends of Parks & Rec of Asotin Co. – Rockin on the River CommitteeIda-Vend BroadcastingLewiston High School ASBLewiston Service LeagueMike Jensen Memorial RunPort City Action Corp. – Hot August Night CommitteePrintcraft Printing*Regence

Rich & Susan SchaeferVassar-Rawls Funeral Home*Wasem’s Drug

$1000 + willow Circle

A Little Hope FoundationMarsha BurnsCongregational Presbyterian ChurchInland Cellular*St. Stanislaus ChurchThe Moyer Foundation*Twin County United WayDick White – R. J. White & Sons*

*Supporter of Camp Erin

Thanks to our generous family of donors, we are able to provide services and resources free to children, families and

the community.

In May of 2009 my husband Jarrod Shaffer passed away suddenly. I was left alone with my two children, Tristan and Mackenzie. I had no idea how to help them understand what had happened or how to deal with the pain and loss of their father. Prior to Jarrod’s passing I had not heard of the Willow Center, and so it was my sister who encouraged me to call for information. I am thankful everyday that this wonderful program was available for my family. Just knowing that there is a place that it is okay to talk about a loved one’s passing is comforting. At the time that we began to attend the sessions, my children did not talk to me often about their father, either because they thought it would hurt me more or they just didn’t know how to talk about something as terrible as this. Now because of the healthy environment that The Willow Center provides, my children can openly talk about their father without feeling bad.

It is comforting to me that there is a place for me to go and voice my concerns and fears to people who understand. And my children enjoy being with other kids that don’t think it is strange or odd that they don’t have a father because they have all lost someone special to them.

The Willow Center family has become an important part of our lives and it has helped us immensely through our loss.

Mandy, Tristan and Mackenzie Shaffer

Family Spotlight Camp Erin!

Wow, what a wonderful time we had at Camp Erin this past summer! Twenty one kids and over forty volunteers spent the July 4th weekend at Camp Wooten

participating in traditional camp activities, learning about grief, and honoring their loved one that had died. We recently received this email from one of our Camp Erin volunteers, Steve Stroschein:

I was walking up the sidewalk yesterday....and this tiny little dark haired girl came up to me and said, “I sawed you this ummer.”, and I said, “Huh?”You would think after 21 years of teaching I would have these speech patterns down....She repeated it again. “I sawed you this ummer.” My teacher listening skills kicked in and I said, “Where did you see me this summer?” She looked at me all disgusted and said, “I sawed you at amp!”

“Ahhhh yes, I remember seeing you at camp...” “I luvd amp!”...and off she went...just a little Camp Erin story four months later...you people do good work...keep it up...

Thank you Steve, and the many other donors and volunteers that made Camp erin a success!“… because no child should grieve alone.”

Visit our web site to sign up a camper for Camp erin 2011!

Under $99 friends Judy & David AdamsWanda & Stevphen AikenMorris AlbersBradley AllisonAlpha Delta KappaMaggie AlsagerCasie AndersonEric & Debbie AsplundBrit & Debra AusmanPip & Mary AusmanJenny & Paul BakerBank of Whitman*Larry & Judy BeanSherrie BeckmanTom & Carrie BeloitBest Buy Flooring, LLCHelen BinningerNicole BlairJodi & Robert BolonMarlene & Ray BrooksSu BrownMeghan BrunsGreg & Sue BurattoConnie & Bruce BurtonRita & Tom CalleryKathi & Rod CarlsonCarol & Agapito HernandezCarolyn HammTheresa CarterJoan ChasePat & Keith ChurchTammy ClevelandBecky & Ted CoddingtonR.C. ColburnBob & Jennifer ColemanDenise & Dick ConnollyKammy CoxLeann & Gregory CoxRick & Cookie CraneMarsha & Ted CreasonStephanie & Richard CuddihyNola Cullum

Jackson & Mirinda DavisDiana & Richard BeckerRhett & Wendy DiessnerKethanne Acey DressenCarol & Michael DuggerBetty EllsKimberly EvansFarm Credit ServicesFazzari’sSteven ForgeLarry & Janis ForsmannFrito Lay*Jenny & Ed GeorgeMyleen & Charles GroganLee Ann & John HancockRebecca & Doug HavensStan & Melanie HawkinsHay’s Produce*Robin Henderson, DDS*Kindra & Dustin HibbardKathy & Wayne HollingsheadCheryl JacksonJamie & James PelerinoJim & Darcy NellyPam & Brendan JohnsonKathy & Gary StachofskyKendell & Jolien JenksSherrie Streeter KirkCarol & Dennis KnightNicole KoehlerPaul & Karen KuceraLori & Ron LandrusGeorgia LenzmeierLaurie & Dave LewisWendy & Bryan LindJulia & Billie LongDeby & Alan LutesPeggy & Patrick MaddenMary McCollumDebbie McCulleyPatricia McNishRob & Cari MeyersShelly & Darrell MohrKim & Gene Nelson

Theresa & Jeff NessetAngela & Patrick NuxollBrenda & Gary OfferdahlRenee OlsenAnita & Paul OrtonSusan & David PakulaMark & Susan PetersonPresnell Gage, PLLCProgressive Pediatrics, Dr. John

HarrisMonica RichardsMarjean Tucker RiggersRuth & Carl RiggersGina RinehartLinda & Ed RobelVictoria RodriguezGlen & Heidi RogersRay & Nancy RoschJennifer RupeS & A Wood SpecialtiesMarina & Dale ScolesKellye & Allan SharpKathy SlinkerTyson & Soo Lee Bruce-SmithMichael & M. Kathy SmolinskiState of ID District II Basketball

Officials Assoc.Charmain SteigerSandra StiffarmDan & Pat StipeBrenda & John SullivanJohn Tait and Christina BjornstadTendercare Children’s CenterRick & Darlene ThornycroftTwin River National Bank*United Way of Brown CountyTravis & Ashlie WalkerSandy & Rodney WallaceLloyd & Janis WallisDavid & Linda WeiselStephanie & Harold WhitcombLaurie WilsonRon & Mimsi Wise

$100 - $499 Advocates Ron & Pat AskerATKMike & Barbara AuerBanner BankTeresa & Warren BennerRon & Melynda BlewettDyan & Jerry BroemmelingSteve Button*Camp, Cabin & HomeCatholic Daughters of AmericaDick & Vicki CliffordCommunity Bank*Susan Comstock*Bill & Kathy ConeD & B Farm & HomeCoreen EhlertKeely EllisBarbara Failing*Mary Lou Franzese*Gund Bear Co.*Hahn Rental CenterKelly & Joe HallHome Depot, Inc.*T. K. KrisherLaura LumleyMalcom’s Brower-Wann

Funeral Home*Mann Mortgage LLCCraig & Jenell MartinsonMitchell MarxGinny McGivney*Merchant Richardson-

Brown Funeral Homes*MoneySaver*Richard & Johnette MooreMountain View Funeral Home*Donna MuellerOur Lady of Lourdes ChurchLeanne & Mike OwenOwl Pharmacies*Potlatch No. 1 Federal Credit Union*Michael & Sharon Ripley*

Mackenzie, Mandy, and Tristan Shaffer

wiTH gRATiTUDewiTH gRATiTUDeTHAnK yoU To oUR 2009-2010 DonoRSTHAnK yoU To oUR 2009-2010 DonoRS2010 Campers enjoy a morning hike.

“We make a living by what we get, we make a life by

what we give”~Winston Churchill

HAVE YOU MADE YOUR ANNUAL DONATION? Yes, I would like to make a donation. I have enclosed a check in the amount of $__________ made out to Willow Center.

giving levels: Friends: Under $99 Advocates: $100-$499 Visionaries: $500-$999 Willow Circle: $1,000+

This gift is in memory of honor of: Name ________________________________________________________

Your Contact Information:

Name ______________________________________________________________________________________________

Address _________________________________City ______________________________ State ______ Zip __________

Phone ________________________________ Email _______________________________________________________

Please enclose this form in an envelope and send to: Willow Center, PO Box 1361, Lewiston, ID 83501

The Willow Center is supported by private funds donated by individuals, businesses, foundations, and families

who participate. No family is ever turned away.Willow Center is a 501 (c) (3) charitable organization.

donors continued...

willow-center.org

In Memory of: Tyler Broneske Arlin Comstock Joseph McCann Mindy McCulley Jeffrey Weisel

In Honor of: Wally & Lyn Hall Cynda Hyndman

WillowCenterNewsletter_Nov2010 2 11/19/10 8:13 AM