the long journey home scribd sub chap4_i discover a new battleground

7/31/2019 The LONG JOURNEY HOME Scribd Sub Chap4_I Discover a New Battleground

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Chapter 4

I Discover A New Battleground.

Two weeks of grinding anticipation had finally unraveled into theday when the Harvester day was to take place. I had spent severalwaking nights combing the grounds at our home; eyeing out the starsover the clear ridges, checking on Boone every so often, returningback to my bed to toss and turn further. And then, as if on queue, Iwould begin the process all over again.

I had made no mention of my intent to follow through and be a

part of The Harvester Race, least of all to allow my mother a chance tocatch wind of it. Life would have been the more unlivable if she hadany knowledge of my plans, or any determined suspicion that I was torace.

Talk of any further races had completely stalled after the nightBrianne stayed with us. Nor did Alicia ever make conversation relatedto this, as I knew she would not. Erin had simply forgotten where myactivities might lead me to for the past few weeks; or rather she spentthe large portion of her days attending to other duties about ourresidence.

Mother simply found it more to my tradition and custom to beaway during the daylight hours; spinning my imagination atop one ofthose ridges that I had often fondly talked of, or reading a gargantuanbook beneath the infamous tree I so held my isolations and mytreasures at. No one dared to track me or keep constant tab and watchover my timely activities.

Brianne was a regular on Boone and my practices at the over-shore track. At first Whittles thought her to be nothing more than ahamper to my concentration. But her steady smile and offbeat humoreventually wore on Whittles and slowly whittled away his casual

irritation towards her.Youve taken a liking toward the boy, he said to her one day, asthey both were sitting along the stands and watching Boone and I goabout in circles; he whittling away with knife and stick, and making a

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wood concoction that was nothing more than abstract to the noviceeye.

There is a spirit in him that I adore...Then you have taken to him?

Whittles stopped and leaned back, and sent out an angled stareon her.Fondly, she smiled, Perhaps But the world he sees is

different, and I cant define it as of yet.Be careful child, Whittles warned, His is not a spirit to be

tamed There is a harbor out there which he seeks, and one of noreturn; a spirit that wanders inclusive to all that he knows. There isalways more that he seeks out Why? Because it is his nature to doso; so keep this in good heed.

He has told you something, Brianne touched over Whittles

shoulder to gain his fullest attention.He tells me nothing child, Whittles softly replied.Then you tell me what you know... she stressed.Whittles looked away, seemingly to grabble with his thoughts;

pausing, collecting himself, He has a spirit to admire and to fear; thisis what I know

Which is greater? Fear? Admire?You can not separate the two, he came back, To separate the

two would make him less the man he is, make him less the man he willbecome Let him fly child If he loves, he will come back to you, he

smiled, I think he still looks to discover his true feelings for youWhen the moment comes, and he is sure, Landon will let you see trulywhat his love is.

I came to return back from my rounds; finding them both oddlyquiet and keeping to their own thoughts.

That evening, Brianne and I sat by the shores of Lake Ontario,high above the stately ocean and ridge where that tree had taken itsthrone upon; the one where I had often dreamed under.

Upon the backdrop, we could hear the waves crisply cutting tothe shores and reefs below; the flights of seagulls dipping along therim of Heaven and earth; Brianne and I sitting close to where Boonehad decided to lay.

Why do you stay? I asked her pointblank.There is more to know, she replied.

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I would think there are better places to find your education, Ichuckled, but not enough to carry offense with her, Better men togive you the things you need.

I dont think so, she seemed most sure.

How do you know this Brianne? I asked, How can you tell,when all your time is spent exclusively with me; nothing to comparewith; no other options to weigh me against

What do you need Landon Hampshire? she turned against me.I, being struck by this very question, brought me to rise and stare

out over the long views of this watery world before me; to imagine thelands beneath it; the lands so far away; and the lands of home. Therewas a pause in our conversation; a sector of time where silence stoodthe moment hard fast and still.

It is like when you are asleep, I began, and you feel that so

much time has come and gone in your dreams There you are, almostliving a full life there; like the world playing over and over again in yourmind. Then you awake, and you realize it wasnt any time at all; it wasonly a night, and you are back where you started Where did thedream go? I cant remember, like a lost treasure I am unable torecover...

You long for the adventure Landon Hampshire, she spoke,seeming to bury her head against her chin and so mumble those wordsout to me.

Or the dream that goes with the adventure, I remarked, I dont

know which...I try to discover my position in all this, she sniffled; I knew therewere tears partnering up with those words.

Do you really see me Brianne?The man I know, she paused, the man I wish to know, lacks

the attempt to show himself to me I dont know if the will is incorrect;the mind dabbling so much that your heart cant feel anything for me.

She stopped in her pause to reflect.I have found no reason to love you; only the emotions that tell

me that I should. She saidWould you have me lie to you? I pondered aloud.Lets not travel there... she fended off.No really, I turned to her, Would you have me lie and falsify

my feelings; or be truthful to you, and have you know me.I fear the truth, as I fear you, she wept.

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Then you are as unready for this, as I am, I said, You are morelike me than you realize If I were to tell you that I love you; here,now; I would betray you and myself, and destroy any hope or chanceof what we could share in the future together It is then that our

history together, born at this very moment; of not being truthful in thebeginning, would kill all hope for us.Oh Landon, she buried her hands above to her face; just a

spell, to capture her expression away and keep me from seeing her inher full exposure, I am so far ahead of you in this, it is so dangerousfor me...

Then turn away, I quietly advised.I cant, Brianne tried to recover her composure, Its not that

simple If I were to do this; I too, would kill all hope for us.What is there for us to have? Now?

I believe this sits with you, she bore her look over me; her eyeswelting and shedding to the tears her emotions had let loose on. I feltthe sway of her torment move me to end this quickly.

I wont cause you any further pain, I slowly dropped my lookaway, What lies ahead of me is still a mystery.

It wouldnt be so, she said, if you were more sure of what youalready had found.

In you... I caught her stare over me.Yes, she began to dry up, and all that is around you LandonI have always prayed that I would never let go of what could

be, I came closer to Brianne; she feeling the weight of my worldstanding over her, To be so ignorant as to be blind of the very thingsthat are in front of me I see so much of my life sitting just ahead,right there, ready for me to explore it. And yet, it still is such amystery

Then you have to decide which race you plan to run, she stoodto meet her glance with mine, or whether, when the time comes, ifyou even have a race to run at all.

That is where my danger lies, I whispered.And so does mine, she gathered her things together.We should just enjoy the moments we share, for now, I said,

Ask nothing more in this; no promises Only thisDefine it as you wish, she stammered, Give out a world of

definitions. All I ever have asked of you is one simple, definingemotion Love Landon, love No reason; no mindless rules; nothing

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where fancy imagination goes Just Love Easy, simple, notcomplicated, and not something buried in a book of mysteries.

I think you discount me when you say this, I grumbled.No worse in penalty than I have suffered

My words never were with offense, or with the intent to offendyou, I grumbled further, Just honest ones.Well sorry to disappoint you Mr. Hampshire, she returned, But

women are less akin to straightforward conversation.I dont know where to go with this, I rubbed my forehead.Nor do I! She yelled in return.Brianne, I called her on it, BrianneShe said nothing, only to gather about herself, and begin her exit

out from underneath that tree.If I were to leave tomorrow, and never return, she struggled to

say, Would that carry enough offense with you?She moved farther away; and I, to follow her.Brianne, I quickened my pace. I pulled to her arm, felt her hand

melt into mine as she spun on our connection together.What is it Landon?Briannes voice drew into a mysterious whisper I had never heard

from her before; the sound of it causing me to fall speechless when oureyes locked close into view.

Still, my thoughts pulled me into a block; a place where I couldnot respond. We stood, motionless; holding the space between us

close, yet yielding only for the moment to remain, there, as we were;planted like the flowers just beneath us; waiting, wanting, andyearning for that which was before us, but could not be touched.

My heart collapsed by the weight of it all.And as our sights grew into a loving embrace of their own, we

could not stir away from that moment, let it pass, and walk awaywithout knowing.

What is it Landon? She repeated in that similar voice.I dont want you to go, I weakly poised, though I never budged

from my expression, or from my look upon her.I saw the cascades in her eyes; the soft timbers of her beauty

etching some look which was caught fearfully in her expression; tellingme, of want, of dreams, and of hope. The mighty tumbling to her tearshad softened me; moved me to a mere silent gaze, with no furtherwords to say; only to stand before her, soul to soul, peering throughthe eyeglass of her stare into mine.

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Imagine being born into a new world; a world entirely opposite towhat you thought it would be. The scope, the measure, the full bountyhad escaped even your endless imagination to dream it up before itever existed.

The wandering of your thoughts only brought you to believe acertain way. And then, when to this very approach, you see the birth ofsomething entirely different.

There was Want for the first moment of my life for Brianne.To see the world absent of her presence in it tore me from my

mysterious roots, if but for a moment in time. Such as you see the rainfalling through the sunshine, and soon after, a rainbow appearswithout warning.

Her touch to my hand only brought the intensity more into focus.I was the victim to my own nature; of Want and of guilt.

To somehow take this moment with Brianne would only rile theanguish I felt so longingly for Annabelle. I was at war with myself, yet Icould feel the peace of Briannes soothing ways comfort me.

She brought her hand to my face; softly, with the stroke of anangel; I feeling her fingers tremble as if her heart had fallen into them.

This was her wish, and I was faltering within it willingly so.I, I mustered a word, I dont know if I can breatheDont complicate this, she spoke; we pulling near Let it be as it

is Something we were meant to shareI clasped her hand with the overlapping of mine; the tremble now

overtaking the bed of my palm. The world had now fallen away;nothing existed. The birds-a-flight, the trees and winds which broughtsound to the stage, the rocking shifts of the ocean beneath us, the off-stares of Boone; all had disappeared under the strong sensations wewere now feeling for one another.

There, in that meadow plain and sweet spring day, I felt the birthof a kiss with Brianne.

She had finally unearthed part of the mystery that resided withinme. The young man that I had become suddenly discovered thepassion flow of an unexpected affection for this woman; a woman whoadored the very shadow of my presence with her.

The kiss held for as long as an eternity; a birth, a life, and afalling away were all consuming to me.

I had awakened to what seemed to be a new place, but a placewhere I had resided in only moments before.

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She smiled with an engagement and a proposal of some implicitpromise.

I felt her hands grasp to mine; she gleaming out a starlit,beautiful expression that remained planted there as we walked.

Brianne was a dreamers dream; a consummate hope that could neverfade. The light of her spirit shown without the normal tempered glow;her brilliance was simply too great to ignore.

I questioned the very essence of my duty; my longing forAnnabelle, however enduring, felt stained by my submission. I was nowat war with myself; the enemy all too well known, and of the moredangerous breed.

Brianne and I parted soon thereafter.The day was drawing to an evening horizon, and I to be up all the

earlier on the next day; the day for the all-important Harvester Race. I

was quick to leave her, to find refuge within a sheltered place for me torun to.I spent the remainder of this sunset watching it fade behind our

residence home. A shelter of trees collected just over the tip of aneastern ridge, and placed with me a birds-eye view on thosedispatching colors and hues that held on the rim of earth itself.

Long blades of grass stood to surround on this ridge; I pickingthem one by one, and poking them through my teeth while I kept mystare steady upon this unique horizon.

I wondered what Annabelle was doing then; as she, in her own

new world, must have thoughts of me. The canopy to our lives felt nowto be terribly displaced; of the wandering breed, and so would seem tohave us as regular castoffs from the worlds immediately around us.

Only fools are tormented by their regret; and I, being so theguilty creed of men, was the greatest art of foolery. I too, as Briannehad done with me, felt the leap of this hope for Annabelle; thatsomeday, somehow, she and I would once again be reunited.

Those constant tearing on my affections seemed to have a dualrole now. That Brianne was guiltless of any crime; and I, the sufferingbandit of love, had now found some measure of affection for her aswell.

This was a grave disclosure to me; of equal feelings andemotions; of two distant lands and loves with two entirely separateendings. There wasnt a mutual harbor here; no remedy for partnershipand for sharing.

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I had now forged a war with no correct outcome. This was nobattle of good and evil, only the internal battle of two loves.

One can suffer the illusions of their mistakes; to see, in thefinality of lifes wisdom, the truer meaning of it all. I, sitting upon this

self-made perch of mine, had turned a page in my life to startemotions with another, while never truly concluding my hope andchance with Annabelle.

I was lost as a lamb in the midst of a harsh and unforgivingstorm. I had swayed; in duty, in love, in obligation, and in dreams thatAnnabelle and I alone, had shared between us.

I could have screamed through my spirit in hopes she would hearme now. The echo of a world gone by; that Annabelle would feel theburning of my soul for her, and this might cause her to make equalpursuit in renewing that place once more, with me.

The letters, I proposed to myself, The letters

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the long journey home scribd sub chap4_i discover a new battleground

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