forgottenbooks.com · the manwho been a veritable king and was promised the reversion of a king dom...
TRANSCRIPT
n~ 14090
The
who would be
Brother to a Prince and fellow to abe ar if he be found worthy.
HE Law, as quoted, laysdown a fair conduct of
Elife, and one not easy
gfito follow. I have been fellow
film a beggar again and again uni
'
der circumstances which pret‘vented either of us finding out
Owhether the other was worthy.
'
I have still to be brother to aPrince
,though I once came near
to kinship with what might have
The Manwho
been a veritable King and waspromised the reversion of a Kingdom army
,law-courts
,revenue
and policy all complete . But,
to-day, I greatly fear that myKing is dead
,and if I want a
crown I must go hunt it for myself.The beginning of everything
was in a railway train upon theroad to Mhow from Ajmir.
There had been a Deficit in theBudget
,which necessitated travel
ling,not Second-class, which is
only half as dear as ! irst-class,but by Intermediate
,which is
very awful indeed. There areno cushions in the Intermediateclass, and the population are either
2
would be King
Intermediate, which is Eurasian,or native
,which for a long night
journey is nasty,or Loafer
,which
is amusing though intoxicated.
Intermediates do not buy fromrefreshment-rooms. They carrytheir food in bundles and pots
,
and buy sweets from the nativesweetmeat-sellers, and drink theroadside water. That is why inhot weather Intermed iates aretaken out of the carriages dead,and in all weathers are mostproperly looked down upon.
My particular Intermediatehappened to be empty till Ireached Nasirabad
,when a big
black-browed gentleman in shirtsleeves entered
,and
,following the
3
The Manwho
custom of Intermediates, passedthe time of day. He was a wanderer and a vagabond like myself
,but with an educated taste
for whiskey. He told tales of
things he had seen and done,of out-of-the-way corners of theEmpire into which he had penetrated
, and of adventures inwhichhe risked his life for a few days’
food.If India was filled with men
like you and me, not knowing
more thanthe crowswhere they ’
d
get their next day’s rations,it
isn’
t seventy millions of revenuethe land would be paying itsseven hundred millions
,
’ said he ;and as I looked at his mouth and
would be King
chin I was disposed to agree withhim.
We talked politics the politics ofLoaferdom that sees thingsfrom the underside where thelath and plaster is not smoothedoff and we talked postal arrangements because my friendwanted to send a telegram backfrom the next station to Ajmir,the turning-off place from theBombay to the Mhow line as youtravel westward. My friend hadno money beyond eight annaswhich he wanted for dinner
,and
I had no money at all,owing to
the hitch in the Budget beforementioned. Further, I was g oing into a wilderness where,
s
The Manwho
though I should resume touchwith the Treasury
,there were no
telegraph oflices. I was, therefore,unable to help him in any way.We might threaten a Station
master,and make him send a
wire on tick,’ said my friend
,
‘but that ’
d mean enquiries for
youand for me, and I’
ve g ot myhands full these days. Did yousay you were travelling backalong this line within any days i”
Within ten,
’ I said.Can’ t you make it eight !’
said he. ‘Mine is rather urgent
within ten days if that will serveyou
,
’ I said.
would be King
I could n’
t trust the wire tofetch him now I think of it.It ’s this way. He leaves Delhion the a g rd for Bombay. Thatmeans he ’
11 be running throughAjmir about the night of tlie
a3rd .
’
But I ’
m going into theIndian Desert,
’ I explained.‘Well and good,
’ said he.You’ll be changing at MarwarJunction to get into Jodhporeterritory you must do thatand he ’
ll be coming throughMarwar Junction in the earlymorning of the a4th by theBombay Mail. Can you be atMarwar Junction on that time !’
T won’ t be inconveniencing you
The Manwho
because I know that there ’
s pre
cious few pickings to be g ot out
of these Central India Stateseven though youpretend to becorrespondent of the Backwoodrman.
’
Have you ever tried thattrick! I asked.Again and again
,but the
Residents find you out, and then
you get escorted to the Borderbefore you
’
ve time to get yourknife into them. But about myfriend here. I must give hima
'
word 0’ mouth to tell him
what ’
s come to me or else hewon’t know where to g o. Iwould take it more than kindof you if you was to come out
of Central India in time to catch8
would be King
him at Marwar Junction, and
say to him :“He has gone South
for the week.
” He ’ll knowwhat that means. He ’
s a big
‘ man with a red beard, and a
great swell he is. ! ou’
11 fi nd
him sleeping like a gentlemanwith all his luggage round himin a Second-class apartment. Butdon ’t you be afraid. Slip downthe window and say : “He hasgone South for the week,
” andhe ’
ll tumble. It ’
s only cuttingyour time of stay in those partsby two days. I ask you as astranger —going to the West,
’
he said with emphasis.‘Where have you come from!
said I.9
The Manwho
From the East,’ said he, ‘ and
I am hoping that you will givehim the message on the Square—for the sake of my Motheras well as your own.’
Englishmen are not usuallysoftened by appeals to the memory of their mothers ; but forcertain reasons, which will befully apparent, I saw fit to
agree.It ’
smore than a little matter,
’
said he, and that ’
s Why I askedyou to do it—and now I knowthat I can depend on you doingit. A Second-class carriage atMarwar Junction
, and a redhaired man asleep in it. You ’
ll
be sure to remember. I get out10
would be King
at the next station, and I musthold on there till he comes or
sends me what I want.’
‘ I ’
11 give the message if Icatch him
,
’ I said, and for thesake of your Mother as well asmine I ’
11 give you a word ofadvice. Don’t try to run theCentral India States just now asthe correspondent of the Back
woodrman. There ’
s a real oneknocking about here, and itmight lead to trouble."
‘Thank you,’ said he simply,
and wheni
will the swine begone ! I can’t starve becausehe ’
s ruining my work. Iwanted to get hold of the Degumbet Rajah down here about
1 !
The Manwho
his father’s widow, and give hima jump.
’
What did he do to hisfather ’s widow, then!
’
Filled her up with red pepperand slippered her to death as shehung from a beam. I found thatout myself and I ’
m the only man
that would dare going into theState to get hush-money for it.They ’
ll try to poison me, same
as they did in Chortumna whenI went on the loot there. But
you’
ll give the man at MarwarJunction my message !’
He g ot out at a little roadsidestation, and I reflected. I hadheard, more than once, of menpersonating correspondents of
13
would be King
newspapers and bleeding smallNative States with threats of ex
posure, but I had never met anyof the caste before. They leada hard life
,and generally die
with great suddenness. The Native States have a wholesome horror of English newspapers, whichmay throw light on their peculiarmethods of government, and dotheir best to choke correspondentswith champagne
,or drive them
out of their mind with four-in.
hand barouches. They do notunderstand that nobody cares astraw for the internal administration of Native States so long asOppression and crime are keptwithin decent limits
,and the
x3
The Manwho
ruler is not drugged, drunk, or
diseased from one end of the yearto the other. They are the darkaces of the earth
,full of unim
nable cruelty, touching thelway and the Telegraph on
fine side, and, on the other, theays ofHarun-ai-Raschid. WhenI left the train I did business withdivers Kings
,and in eight days
passed through many changes oflife. Sometimes I wore dressclothes and consorted with Princesand Politicals, drinking from crystal and eating from silver. Sometimes I lay out upon the groundand devoured what I could get,from a plate made of leaves, anddrank the running water, and
14
would be King
slept under the same rug as my
servant. It was all in the day’
s
work.Then I headed for the GreatIndian Desert upon the properdate, as I had promised, and thenight Mail set me down atMarwar Junction, where a funnyli ttle, happy-g o-lucky, nativemanaged railway runs to Jodhpore. The Bombay Mail fromDelhi makes a short halt at Marwar. She arrived as I got in,and I had just time to hurry toher platform and go down thecarriages. There was only one
Second-class on the train. I
slipped the window and lookeddown upon a flaming red heard ,
15
would be King
away, and watched the red lightsdie out in the dark. It was horribly cold because the wind wasblowing off the sands. I climbedinto my own train not an Intermediate carriage this timeand went to sleep .
If the man with the beard hadgiven me a rupee I should havekept it as a memento of a rathercurious afl
'
air. But the consciousness of having done my duty wasmy only reward.Later on I reflected that two
gentlemen like my friends couldnot do any good if they foregathered and personated correspondents of newspapers
,and
might, if they black-mailed one2 17
The Manwho
of the little.
rat-trap states of Central India or SouthernRajputana,get themselves into serious d ifliculties. I therefore took sometrouble to describe them as ac
curately as I could remember topeople who would be interestedin deporting them : and succeeded,so I was later informed
,in hav
ing them headed back from theDe g umber borders.Then I became respectable,and returned to anO flice wherethere were no Kings and noincidents outside the daily manufacture of a newspaper . A newspaper oflice seems to attract everyconceivable sort of person
,to the
prejudice of discipline . ! enana18
would be King
mission ladies arrive, and begthat the Editor will instantlyabandon all his duties to describea Christian prize-giving in a backslum of a perfectly inaccessiblevillage ; Colonels who have beenoverpassed for command sit downand sketch the outline of a seriesof ten, twelve, or twenty-fourleading articles onSeniority var s-arSelection; missionaries wish toknow why they have not beenpermitted to escape from theirregular vehicles of abuse andswear at a brother-missionary under special patronage of the editorial We ; stranded theatricalcompanies troop up to explainthat they cannot pay for their
I 9
The Manwho
advertisements,b ut on their re
turn from New ! ealand or Tahitiwill do so with interest ; inventors of patent punkah-pullingmachines
,carriage couplings and
unbreakable swords and axletreescall with specifications in theirpockets and hours at their disposal ; tea-companies enter and
elaborate their prospectuses withthe oflice pens ; secretaries of
ball-committees clamour to havethe glories of their last dance morefully described ; strange ladiesrustle in and say : ‘ I want a hundred lady’s cards printed at once,
please,
’ which is manifestly partof an Editor’s duty ; and everydissolute ruflianthat ever tramped
2 0
would be King
the Grand Trunk Road makes ithis business to ask for employmentas a proof-reader And
,all the
time, the telephone-bell is ringing madly, and Kings are beingkilled on the Continent
,and
Empires are saying ! ou’
re
another,
’ and Mister Gladstone iscalling down brimstone upon theBritish Dominions, and the littleblack Copy-boys are whining
,
‘kaa-pi clzay-lza-yelz (copywanted)
like tired bees, and most of thepaper is as black as Modred
’
s
shield.But that is the amusing part
of the year. There are six othermonths whennone ever come tocall
,and the thermometer walks
2 1
The Manwho
inch by inch up to the top of the
glass,and the offi ce is darkened
just above reading-light, and thepress machines are red-hot of
touch, and nobody writes anything but accounts of amusementsin the Hill-stations or obituarynotices. Then the telephone becomes a tinkling terror, becauseit tells you of the sudden deathsof m en and women that youknew intimately, and the pricklyheat covers you with a garment,and you sit down and write : ‘Aslight increase of sickness is reported from the Khuda JantaKhan District. The outbreak ispurely sporadic in its nature
,and
,
thanks to the energetic efforts ofz z
would be King
e District authorities, is nowost at an end. It is, however,deep regret we record the
eath,’ etc.
Then the sickness really breaksout
,and the less recording and
reporting the better for the peaceof the subscribers But the Empires and the Kings continue todivert themselves as selfishly asbefore, and the Foreman thinksthat a daily paper really ought tocome out once in twenty-fourhours
,and all the people at the
Hill-stations in the middle of
their amusements say : Goodgracious ! Why can ’ t the paperhe sparkling ! I ’m sure there ’
s
plenty going on up here.’
as
would be King
get off to sleep ere the heatroused him.
One Saturday night it was mypleasant duty to put the paper tobed alone. A King or courtieror a courtesan or a Communitywas going to die or get a newConstitution, or do somethingthat was important on the otherside of the world, and the paperwas to be held open till the latestpossible minute in order to catchthe telegram.
It was a pitchy black night, asstifling as a June night can be
,
and the 10 0,the red-hot wind
from the westward, was boominamong the tinder-dry trees anpretending that the rain was 0
25
The Manwho
its heels. N ow and again a spotof almost boiling water wouldfall on the dust with the flop of
a frog,but all our weary world
knew that was only pretence. Itwas a shade cooler in the pressroom than the offi ce, so I satthere, while the type ticked and
clicked, and the night-jars hootedat the windows
,and the all but
naked compositors wiped thesweat from their foreheads, andcalled for water. The thing thatwas keeping us back
,whatever it
was, would not come off, thoughthe loo dropped and the last typewas set, and the whole roundearth stood still in the chokingheat, with its finger on its lip, to ;
26
would be Kingwait the event. I dr
'
owsed,and
wondered whether the telegraphwas a blessing, and whether thisdying man
,or struggling people
,
might be aware of the inconvenience the delay was causing.
There was no special reason beyond the heat and worry to maketension
,but, as the clock-hands
crept up to three o ’clock and themachines spun their fly
-wheelstwo and three times to see thatall was in order, before I said theword that would set them off
,I
could have shrieked aloud.Then the roar and rattle of thewheels shivered the quiet intolittle bits. I rose to g o away,but two men in white clothes
3 7
The Manwho
stood in front of me. The firstone said : “ It ’
s him I’ Thesecond said : ‘ So it is ! Andthey both laughed almost asloudly as the machinery roared
,
and mopped their foreheads.‘We seed there was a lightburning across the road and wewere sleeping in that ditch therefor coolness
,and I said to my
friend here,The oflice is open.
Let ’
s come along and speak tohim as turned us back from theDe g umber State,
’ said the smallerof the two. He was the man Ihad met in the Mhow train, andhis fellow was the red-beardedman ofMarwar Junction. Therewas no mistaking the eyebrows
28
would be King
of the one or the heard of theother.I was not pleased
,because I
wished to , go to sleep, not to 1
squabble with loafers. Whatdo you want ! ’ I asked.
Half an hour’s talk with you,cool and comfortable, in theoffi ce said the red-bearded man.
‘We (1 like some drink theContrack does n’
t begin yet,
Peachey, so you need n ’t lookbut what we really want is
advice. We don ’t want money.We ask you as a favour, becausewe found out you did us a badturn about De g umber State.
’
I led from the press-room to
the stifling offi ce with the maps29
The Manwho
on the walls, and the red-hairedman rubbed his hands. ‘That ’
s
something like,
’ said be .‘This
was the proper shop to come to.
Now, Sir, let me introduce toyou Brother Peachey Carnehan
,
that ’
s him, and Brother DanielDravot, that is me, and the lesssaid about our professions thebetter, for we have been mostthings in our time. Soldier
,
sailor,compositor
,photographer
,
proof-reader,street-preacher
,and
correspondents of the Backwoodsmanwhen we thought the paperwanted one. Carnehan is sober,and so am I . Look at us first
,
and see that ’
s sure. It will save
you cutting into my talk . We ’ll3 0
would be King
one of your cigars apiece,you shall see us light
I watched the test. The men
were absolutely sober, so I gavethem each a tepid whiskey andsoda.Well and good,
’ said Carnehan of the eyebrows, wiping thefroth from his moustache. Letme talk now,
Dan. We havebeen all over India, mostly onfoot. We have been boiler-fi tters
,engine-drivers
,petty con
tractors,and all that
,and we
have decided that India isn ’t bigenough for such as us.They certainly were too big
for the oflice . Dravot’
s beard3 1
would be King
afraid of except drink,and we
have signed a Contrack on that.Tlzerqfor e, we are going away tobe Kings. ’
‘Kings in our own right,
’
muttered Dravot.! es, of course
,
’ I said.
‘You ’
ve been tramping in thesun, and it ’
s a very warm night,
and had n’
t you better sleepover the notion ! Come tomorrow.
’
Neither drunk nor sunstruck,
’
said Dravot. We have sleptover the notion half a year, andrequire to see Books and Atlases
,
and we have decided that thereis only one place now in theworld that two strong men
3 33
The Manwho
can Sar-a-fwlzaok. They call itKafi ristan. By my reckoningit ’
s the top right-hand cornerof Afghanistan, not more thanthree hundred miles from Peshawar. They have two-and-thirtyheathen idols there
,and we ’
ll bethe thirty-third and fourth . It ’sa mountainous country
,and the
women of those parts are verybeautiful . ’
‘But that is provided againstin the Contrack,
’ said Carnehan.‘Neither women nor Liqu-or,Daniel. ’
‘And that ’
s all we know,
except that no one has gonethere
,and they fi ght, and inany
place where they fight a man
34
would be King
who knows how to drill mencan always be a King. We shall
g o to those parts and say to anyKing we fi nd D ’ you wantto vanquish your foes !” and wewill show him how to drillmen ; for that we know betterthan anything else. Then wewill subvert that King and seizehis Throne and establish a Dynasty.
’
You ’
11 be cut to pieces before you ’
re fifty miles across theBorder
,
’ I said. You have totravel through Afghanistan to getto that country. It ’
s one massofmountains and peaks and glaciers
, and no Englishman has
been through it. The people are35
The Man who
utter brutes, and even if you
reached them you could n’
t do
anything.
’
That ’
smore like,”said Carne
han. ‘ If you could think us alittle more mad we would bemore pleased. We have cometo you to know about this country
,to read a book about it
,and
be shown maps. We want youto tell us that we are fools andto show us your books. ’ Heturned to the book-cases.Are you at all in earnest i
" I
A little,’
said Dravot sweetly.
As big a map as you have got,
even if it ’
s all blank where Kafiristan is, and any books you ’
ve
36
would be King
got. We can read, though wearen’
t very educated.
’
I uncased the big thirty-twomiles-to-the-inch map of India
,
and two smaller Frontier maps,
hauled downvolume INF—KANof the Encyclope dia B r itan
nica, and the men consultedthem.
“ See here I said Dravot,his
thumb on the map. ‘ ! p to
Jag dallak , Peachey and me knowthe road . We was there withRoberts’ Army. We ’
11 have toturn ofl
"
to the right at Jag dallakthrough Lag hmann territory.
Then we get among the hillsfourteen thousand feet fifteenthousand it will be cold work
37
The Manwho
there, but it don’t look very far
on the map.
’
I handed him Wood on theSource: of tire O xm. Carnehanwas deep in the Encyclope dia.
They ’
re a mixed lot,’ said
Dravot reflectively ; ‘ and it won ’ thelp us to know the names of
their tribes. The more tribesthe more they ’ll fight
,and the
better for us. From Jag dallakto Ashang. H’
mm l
‘But all the information aboutthe country is as sketchy and inaccurate as can be,
’ I protested.
‘No one knows anything aboutit really Here ’
s the file of the!nited Servicer
’
Inrtitute. Readwhat Bellew says. ’
38
would be King‘Blow Bellew l ’ said Carne
han.
‘Dan, they’
re a stinkin’
lot of heathens,but this book
here says they think they ’
re re
lated to us English.
’
I smoked while the men poredover Ra'ver ty , Wood, the maps,and the Encyclope dia.
‘There is no use your waiting,
’
said Dravot politely. It ’
s aboutfour o’clock now. We ’ll g o before six o’clock if you want tosleep
,and we won ’t steal any of
the papers. Don’ t you sit up.
We ’
re two harmless lunatics, andif you come to-morrow eveningdown to the Serai we ’ ll say goodbye to you.’
! ouare two fools,’ I answered.
39
would be King
following. I copied it, thenthere, as a curiosity
This Contract betweenme and you
persuing witnesseth inthe name of GodAmenand soforth.
(One) Thatme and youwill settle thismatter tog ether i.e., to be
King s of Kaj z'
ristan.
(Two) That you and me will not,while this matter is beingtled, look at any L iquor, nor
any Woman black,white, or
brown, so as to g et mix ed upwith one or the other harmful.That we conduct ourselves with
Dig nity and Discretion, and ifone of us g ets into trouble the
other will stay by him.
Sig ned by you and me this day .
Peachey Taliaferro Carnehan.Daniel Dravot.
Both Gentlemen at Larg e.
41
The Manwho
‘There was no need for thelast article,
’ said Carnehan, blushing modestly ; but it looks regular. Now you know the sort ofmen that loafers are we are
loafers, Dan, until : we get out of
India— and do you think thatwe would sign a Contrack likethat unless we was in earnest !We have kept away from thetwo things that make life worthhaving. ’
You won’ t enjoy your livesmuch longer if you are going totry this idiotic adventure. Don ’tset the oflice on fire,
’ I said, andgo away before nine o’clock.
’
I left them still poring overthe maps and making notes on
42
would be King
the back of the ‘Contrack .
’ ‘ Besure to come down to the Seraito-morrow,
’ were their partingwords.The Kumharsen Serai is the
great four-square sink of humanity where the strings of camelsand horses from the North loadand unload. All the nationalitiesof Central Asia may be foundthere
,and most of the folk of
India proper. Balkh and Bokhara there meet Bengal andBombay
,and try to draw eye
teeth . You can buy ponies,
turquoises, Persian pussy-cats,
saddle-bags, fat-tailed sheep, andmusk in the Kumharsen Serai,and get many strange things for
43
The Manwho
nothing. In the afternoon Iwent down to see whether myfriends intended to keep theirword or were lying there drunk.
A priest attired in fragmentsof ribbons and rags stalked upto me
,gravely twisting a child’s
paper Whirligig. Behind himwas his servant bending underthe load of a crate of mud toys.The two were loading up twocamels
,and the inhabitants of
the Serai watched them withshrieks of laughter.
‘The priest is mad,’ said a
horse-dealer to me. He is g oing up to Kabul to sell toys tothe Amir. He will either beraised to honour or have his
44
would be King
head cut off. He came in herethis morning and has been behaving madly ever since.’
‘The witless are under theprotection of God, ’ stammered aflat-checked ! sbeg in brokenHindi. ‘Thcy foretell futureevents. ’
‘Would they could have foretold that my caravan would havebeen cut up by the Shinwarisalmost within shadow of thePass !’ grunted the Eusufz ai agentof a Rajputana trading-housewhose goods had been divertedinto the hands of other robbersjust across the Border
,and whose
misfortunes were the laughingstock of the bazar. ‘ O h!
,priest
,
45
The Manwho
whence come you, and whitherdo you go !’
From Roum have I come,’
shouted the priest, waving hisWhirligig ; from Roum
,blown
by the breath of a hundred devilsacross the sea l 0 thieves, robbers, liars, the blessing of PirKhan on pigs, dogs, and perjurers l Who will take the Protected of God to the North tosell charms that are never stillto the Amir ! The camels shallnot gall, the sons shall not fallsick, and the wives shall remainfaithful while they are away
,of
the men who give me place intheir caravan. Who will assistme to slipper the King of the
46
would be King
Roos with a golden slipper witha silver heel ! The protectionof Pir Khan be upon his labours He spread out theskirts of his gaberdine and pirouetted between the lines of
tethered horses.There starts a caravan from
Peshawar to Kabul in twentydays, Huz rut,
’ said the Eusufz aitrader. My camels g o therewith. Do thou also go andbring us good-luck.
’
‘ I will go even now ! shoutedthe priest. I will depart uponmy winged camels
,and be at
Peshawar in a day 1 Ho 1Hazar Mir Khan
,
’ he yelled tohis servant
,drive out the camels,
47
would be King
nothing that I ’ve been knocking about the country for fourteen years. Did n’
t I do thattalk neat ! We ’
ll hitch on toa caravan at Peshawar till weget to Jag dallak , and then we
’
ll
see ifwe can get donkeys for ourcamels
,and strike into Kafi ristan.
Whirligigs for the Amir, 0 Lor iPut your hand under the camelbags and tell me what you feel.
’
I felt the butt of a Martini,
and another and another.Twenty of
’
cm,
’ said Dravotplacidly. Twenty of
’em and
ammunition to correspond, underthe Whirligigs and the mud dolls.’
Heaven help you if you arecaught with those things l I
4 49
The Manwho
said. A Martini is worth herweight in silver among thePathans.’
Fifteen hundred rupees of
capital every rupee we couldbeg; borrow,
or steal are invested ou these two camels,
’ saidDravot. We won’t get caught.We ’
re going through the Khaiher with a regular caravan.
Who ’
d touch a poor madpriest !’
Have you g ot everything youwant ! ’ I asked
,overcome with
astonishment.Not yet
,but we shall soon.
Give us a memento of yourkindness
, Brother . You d id mea service
,yesterday
,and that
so
would be King
time in Marwar. Half mykingdom shall you have
,as the
saying is.’ I slipped a smallcharm compass from my watchchain and handed it up to thepriest.Good-bye
,
’ said Dravot,giv
ing me hand cautiously. It ’
s
the last time we ’
ll shake handswith an Englishman these manydays. Shake hands with him,
Carnehan,’ he cried
,as the
second camel passed me.Carnehan leaned down and
shook hands. Then the camelspassed away along the dusty road,and I was left alone to wonder.My eye could detec t no failurein the disguises. The scene in
S I
The Manwho
the Serai proved that they werecomplete to the native mind.There was just the chance
,there
fore,that Carnehan and Dravot
would be able to wander throughAfghanistan without detection.
But,beyond, they would find
death certain and awful death.
Ten days later a native correspondent, giving me the news ofthe day from Peshawar, woundup his letter with : There hasbeen much laughter here on ac
count of a certain mad priest whois going in his estimation to sellpetty gauds and insignificant trinkets which he ascribes as greatcharms to H. H . the Amir of
Bokhara. He passed through52
would be King
Peshawar and associated himselfto the Second Summer caravanthat goes to Kabul. The merchants are pleased because throughsuperstition they imagine thatsuch mad fellows bring goodfortune.’
The two, then, were beyondthe Border. I would have prayedfor them, but, that night, a realKing died in Europe, and demanded an obituary notice.
The wheel of the world swingsthrough the same phases againand again. Summer passed andwinter thereafter, and came andpassed again. The daily paper .
continued and I with it, and upon53
The Manwho
the third summer there fell a hotnight, a night-issue, and a strainedwaiting for something to be telegraphed from the other side ofthe world, exactly as had happened before. A few great menhad died in the past two years
,
the machines worked with moreclatter, and some of the trees inthe Offi ce garden were a fewfeet taller. But that was all thedifference.I passed over to the press-room
,
and went through just such ascene as I have already described.The nervous tension was strongerthan it had been two years before,and I felt the heat more acutely.At three o ’clock I cried, Print
54
would be King
and turned to g o, when therecrept to my chair what was leftof a man. He was bent into acircle
,his head was sunk between
his shoulders,and he moved his
feet one over the other like abear. I .could hardly see whetherhe walk ed or crawled -this ragwrapped
,whining cripple who
addressed me by name,crying
that he was come back. Can
you give me a drink he whimpered. ! or the Lord’s sake giveme a drink II went back to the oflice, theman following with groans of
pain, and I turned up the lamp.Don ’t you know me ! ’ he
g asped, dropping into a chair, and55
would be King
giving us the books: I amPeachey Peachey TaliaferroCarnehan, and you
’
ve been setting here ever since O Lord !I was more than a little as
tonished, and expressed my feelings accordingly.It ’
s true,’ said Carnehan
,with
a dry cackle, nursing his feet,which were wrapped in rags.True as gospel. Kings we were
,
with crowns upon our headsme and Dravot poor Danoh, poor, poor Dan, that wouldnever take advice, not though Ibegged of him iTake the whiskey,
’
I said,and take your own time. Tellme all you can recollect of every
5 7
The Manwho
thing from beginning to end .
You got across the border onyour camels
,Dravot dressed as a
mad priest and you his servant.Do you remember that !’
I ain ’t mad— yet,but I shall
be that way soon . O f course Iremember Keep looking at me,or maybe my words will all g o topieces. Keep looking at me inmy eyes and don ’t say anything.
’
I leaned forward and lookedinto his face as steadily as I could.He dropped one hand upon thetable and I grasped it by thewrist. It was twisted like abird’s claw
,and upon the back
was a ragged,red
,diamond
shaped scar.58
would be King
No,don’ t look there. Look
at me,
’ said Carnehan. Thatcomes afterwards
,but for the
Lord’s sake don ’t d istrack me.We left with that caravan, meand Dravot playing all sorts of
antics to amuse the people wewere with . Dravot used to makeus laugh in the evenings when allthe people was cooking their dinners cooking their dinners
,and
what did they do then ! Theylit little fires with sparks that wentinto Dravot
’
s beard,and we all
laughed fit to die. Little redfires they was
,going into Dravot’
s
big red beard— so funny.
’ Hiseyes left mine and he smiled
S9
The Manwho
You went as far as Jag dallakwith that caravan,
’ I said at a venture
,after you had lit those fires.
To Jag dallak , where you turnedoff to try to get into Kafi ristan.
’
No,we did n’
t neither. Whatare you talking about Weturned off before Jag dallak, because we heard the roads wasgood. But they was n’
t goodenough for our two camelsmine and Dravot
’
s. When weleft the caravan, Dravot took off
all his clothes and mine too, andsaid we would be heathen
,be
cause the Kafi rs did n’
t allowMohammedans to talk to them.
So we dressed betwixt and between, and such a sight as Daniel
60
would be King
Dravot I never saw yet nor expeet to see again. He burnedhalf his beard, and slung a sheepskin over his shoulder, and shavedhis head into patterns. He shavedmine, too, and made me wearoutrageous things to look like aheathen . That was in a mostmountaineous country
,and our
camels could n’ t go along anymore because of the mountains.They were tall and black, andcoming home I saw them fightlike wild goats there are lotsof goats in Kafi ristan And thesemountains, they never keep still,no more than the goats. Alwaysfighting they are
,and don’ t let
you sleep at night.’
6 :
The Manwho
‘Take some more whiskey,’ I
said very slowly. What didyou and Daniel Dravot do whenthe camels could g o no furtherbecause of the rough roads thatled into Kafi ristan
‘What did which do Therewas a party called Peachey Taliaferro Carnehan that was withDravot. Shall I tell you abouthim He died out there in thecold. Slap from the bridge fellold Peachey, turning and twistingin the air like a penny whirlgigthat you can sell to the Amir.No ; they was two for threeha
’
pence, those Whirligigs, or Iam much mistaken and woefulsore. And thenthese camels
62
would be King
were no use, and Peachey said toDravot ! or the Lord’s sakelet ’s get out O f this before ourheads are chopped O ff, and withthat they killed the camels allamong the mountains, not havinganything in particular to eat, butfirst they took off the boxes withthe guns and the ammunition, tilltwo men came along driving fourmules. Dravot up and dances infront O f them,
singing Sellme four mules. Says the firstman If you are rich enoughto buy you are rich enough torob ; but before ever he couldput his hand to his knife, Dravotbreaks his neck over his knee,and the other party runs away.
63
would be King
persed and solitary. They wentup and up, and down and down
,
and that other party,Carnehan
,
was imploring of Dravot not tosing and whistle so loud
,for fear
O f bringing down the tremenjus
avalanches. But Dravot says thatif a King couldn’
t sing it wasn’
t
worth being King,and whacked
the mules over the rump,and
never took no heed for ten colddays. We came to a big levelvalley all among the mountains,and the mules were near dead, sowe killed them
,not having any
thing in special for them or us toeat. We sat upon the boxes, andplayed odd and even with thecartridges that was jolted out.
5 65
The Manwho
Then ten men with bows andarrows ran down that valley, chasing twenty men with bows andarrows
,and the row was tromen
jus. They was fair men fairerthan you or me with yellowhair and remarkable well built.Says Dravot
,unpacking the guns
This is the beginning O f thebusiness. We ’ll fight for the tenmen
,
” and with that he fires tworifles at the twenty men, and dropsone of them at two hundred yardsfrom the rock where he was sitting. The other men began torun
,but Carnehan and Dravot sits
on the boxes picking them off atall ranges, up
‘
and down the valley. Then we goes up to the
66
would be King
tenmen that had run across thesnow too, and they fires a footylittle arrow at us. Dravot heshoots above their heads and theyall falls downflat. Then he walksover them and kicks them, andthen he lifts them up and shakeshands all round to make themfriendly like. He calls themand gives them the boxes tocarry, and waves his hand for allthe world as though he was Kingalready. They takes the boxesand him across the valley and upthe hill into a pine wood onthe
top, where there was half a dozenbig stone idols. Dravot he goesto the biggest a fellow theycall Imbra and lays a rifle and
67
The Manwho
a cartridge at his fee t, rubbinghis nose respectful with his ownnose
,patting him on the head
,
and saluting in front of it. Heturns round to the men and nodshis head
, and says That ’
s all
right. I ’
m in the know too,
and all these Old j im-jams are myfriends. Then he Opens hismouth and points down it, andwhen the first man brings himfood, he says—“NO ; and whenthe second man brings him foodhe says N O ; but when one
of the Old priests and the bossof the village brings him food
,
he says Yes ; very haughtyand eats it slow. That washow we came to our first vil
68
would be King
lage, without any trouble, just asthough we had tumbled from
xthe skies. But we tumbled fromone of those damned rope-bridges
,
a you see, and you could n’
t ex
pect a man to laugh much afterthat ! ’
Take some more whiskey andgo on,
’ I said. ‘That was thefirst village you came into. Howdid you get to be King !
’
‘ I was n ’t King,’ said Carne
han. Dravot he was the King,and a handsome man he lookedwith the gold crown onhis headand all. Him and the otherparty stayed in that village, and
every morning Dravot sat by theside of O ld Imbra, and the people
69
The Manwho
came and worshipped. That wasDravot
’
s order. Then a lot of
men came into the valley,and
Carnehan Dravot picks them off
with the rifles before they knewwhere they was
,and runs down
into the valley and up again theo ther side and finds another village
,same as the first one
,and
the people all falls down flat ontheir faces, and Dravot says“Now what is the trouble between you two villages !” andthe people points to a woman
,as
fair as you or me, that was carried oil, and Dravot takes herback to the first village and countsup the dead— eight there was.For each dead man Dravot pours
70
would be King
a little milk on the ground andwaves his arms like a Whirligigand That 5 all right,
” says he.Then he and Carnehan takes thebig boss of each village by thearm and walks them down intothe valley
,and shows them how
to scratch a line with a spearright down the valley, and giveseach a sod of turf from bothsides of the line. Then all thepeople comes down and shoutslike the devil and all
,and Dravot
says Go and dig the land,and
be fruitful and multiply,” which
they did,though they did n’
t
understand. Then we asks thenames of things in their lingobread and water and fire and idols
7x
would be King
clever to see the hang of it. Thenhe takes out his pipe and hisbaccy-pouch and leaves one atone village
,and one at the other,
and OE we two goes to see whatwas to be done in the next valley.
That was all rock, and there wasa little village there, and Carnehan says “ Send ’em to the old
valley to plant,
” and takes ’emthere and gives ’em some landthat was n’
t took before . Theywere a poor lot
,and we blooded
’
em with a kid before letting ’eminto the new Kingdom. Thatwas to impress the people, andthen they settled down quiet, andCarnehan went back to Dravot,who had g ot into another valley,
73
The Manwho
all snow and ice and most mountaineous. There was no peoplethere and the Army g ot afraid,
’
so Dravot shoots one of them,
and goes on till he finds somepeople in a village
,and the Army
explains that unless the peoplewants to be killed they had betternot shoot their little matchlocks ;for they had matchlocks. Wemakes friends with the priest andI stays there alone with two of
the Army,teaching the men how
to drill,and a thundering big
Chief comes across the snow withkettle-drums and horns twanging,because he heard there was a newGod kicking about. Carnehansights for the brown of the men
74
would be King
half a mile across the snow and
wings one of them. Then hesends a message to the Chiefthat, unless he wished to bekilled, he must come and shakehands with me and leave hisarms behind. The Chief comesalone first, and Carnehan shakeshands with him and whirls hisarms about, same as Dravot used,and very much surprised thatChief was
,and strokes my eye
brows. Then Carnehan goesalone to the Chief, and asks himindumb show if he had an enemyhe hated. I have,
” says theChief. So Carnehan weeds outthe pick of his men, and sets thetwo of the Army to show them
75
The Manwho
drill and at the end of two weeksthe men can manoeuvre aboutas well as V olunteers. SO hemarches with the Chief to agreat big plain on the top of amountain, and the Chief
’s menrushes into a village and takes it ;we three Martinis firing into thebrownof the enemy. SO we tookthat village too
,and I gives the
Chief a rag fi '
om my coat andsays, Occupy till I come ;which was scriptural. By wayof a reminder
,when me and the
Army was eighteen hundred yardsaway, I drops a bullet near himstanding on the snow
,and all the
people falls flat on their faces .Then I sends a letter to Dravot
76
would be King
wherever he be by land or bysea.At the risk of throwing thecreature out of train I interrupted How could you writea letter up yonder !’
The letter Oh I Theletter l Keep looking at me between the eyes
,please. It was
a string-talk letter,that we ’
d
learned the way O f it from ablind beggar in the Punjab .
’
I remember that there hadonce come to the oflice a blindman with a knotted twig and a
piece of string which he woundround the twig according to
some cipher O f his own. Hecould
, after the lapse of days or
77
The Manwho
hours,repeat the sentence which
he had reeled up. He had re
duced the alphabet to elevenprimitive sounds ; and tried to
teach me his method,but I
could not understand.
I sent that letter to Dravot,
’
said Carnehan ; and told him to
come back because this Kingdomwas growing too big for me tohandle
,and then I struck for the
first valley,to see how the priests
were working. They called thevillage we took along with theChief, Bashkai, and the firstvillage we took
,Er-Heb . The
priests at Er-Heb was doing allright
,but they had a lot of pend
ing cases about land to show me,78
would be King
and some men from another .
village had been firing arrows atnight. I went out and lookedfor that village, and fired fourrounds at it from a thousandyards. That used all the cartridges I cared to spend
,and I
waited for Dravot, who had beenaway two or three months
,and
I kept my people quiet.‘ One morning I heard the
devil ’s own noise of drums andhorns
,and Dan Dravot marches
down the hill with his Army anda tail of hundreds of men
,and
,
which was the most amazing,a
great gold crown on his head.
“My Gord,Carnehan,
” saysDaniel
,this is a tremenjus
79
would be King
out of the cliffs, and there ’
s garnets inthe sands of the river, andhere ’
s a chunk of amber that aman brought me. Call up all
the priests and,here, take your
crown.”
One of the menopens a blackhair bag
,and I slips the crown
on. It was too small and too
heavy ,but I wore it for the glory .
Hamme red gold it was fivepound weight
,like a hO Op of a
barrel.Peachey
,says Dravot, we
don’ t want to fight no more.The Craft ’
s the trick, so helpme l and he brings forward thatsame Chief that I -left at BashkaiBilly Fish we called him after6 81
The Manwho
wards,because he was so like Billy
Fish that drove the big tankengine at Mach on the Bolan inthe Old days. “ Shake hands withhim
,
” says Dravot,and I shook
hands and nearly dropped, forBilly Fish gave me the Grip. Isaid nothing
,but tried him with
the Fellow Craft Grip. He answors, all right, and I tried theMaster’ s Grip
,but that was a slip.
“A Fellow Craft he is l ” I saysto Dan.
“ Does he know theword !” He does, says Dan,“ and all the priests know. It ’
s
a miracle ! The Chiefs and thepriests can work a Fellow CraftLodge in a way that
’
s very likeours, and they
’
ve cut the marks82
would be King
onthe rocks,but they don’t know
the Third Degree,and they ’
ve
come to find out. It ’ s Gord’sTruth . I ’ve known these longyears that the Afghans knew upto the Fellow Craft Degree
,but
this is a miracle. A God and aGrand-Master of the Craft am I
,
and a Lodge in the Third DegreeI will open, and we
’ll raise thehead priests and the Chiefs of thevillages.”
It ’
s against all the law, Isays
,
“holding a Lodge withoutwarrant from any one ; and youknow we never held O flice in anyLodge.”
It ’
s a master-stroke o’
po
licy,says Dravot. It means
83
The Manwho
running the country as easy as afour-wheeled bogie on a downgrade. We can ’t stop to enquirenow,
Or they ’11 turn against us.
I ’
ve forty Chiefs at my heel,and
passed and raised according totheir merit they shall be. Billetthese men on the villages, and
see that we run up a Lodge of
some kind. The temple of Imbrawill do for the Lodge-room. Thewomen must make aprons as youshow them I ’
11hold a levee ofChiefs to-night and Lodge tomorrow.
I was fair run OE my legs,but I was n’
t such a fool as notto see what a pull this Craftbusiness gave us. I showed the
84
would be King
priests families how to makeaprons of the degrees, but forDravot
’
s apron the blue borderand marks was made of turquoiselumps on white hide, not cloth .
We took a great square stone inthe temple for theMaster’s chair
,
and little stones for the O flicers’
chairs, and painted the black pavement with white squares
,and did
what we could to make thingsregular.At the levee which was held
that night on the hill-side withbig bonfires
,Dravot gives out
that him and me were Gods andsons of Alexander, and PastGrand-Masters in the Craft, andwas come to make Kafi ristan a
35
The Man'who
country where every man shouldeat in peace and drink in quiet,and specially obey us. Then theChiefs come round to shakehands
,and they were so hairy
and white and fair it was justshaking hands with Old fr iends.We gave them names accordingas they was like men we hadknown in India Billy Fish
,
Holly Dilworth,Pikky Kergan,
that was Bazar—master when Iwas at Mhow,
and so on,and
so on.
The most amazing miracleswas at Lodge next night. O ne
of the old priests was watchingus continuous, and I felt uneasy,for I knew we ’d have to fudge
86
would be King
the Ritual, and I did n’t know
what the men knew. The Oldpriest was a stranger come infrom beyond the village of Bashkai '. The minute Dravot putson the Master’s apron that thegirls had made for him
,the
priest fetches a whoop and ahowl, and tries to overturn thestone that Dravot was sitting on.
“ It ’s all up now,
” I says.That comes of meddling withthe Craft without warrant l
Dravot never winked an eye, not
when ten priests took and tiltedover the Grand-Master ’s chairwhich was to say the stone of
Imbra. The priest begins rubbing the bottom end of it to
37
would be King
of all Freemasonry in Kafi ristanin this the Mother Lodge 0 ’ thecountry
,and King of Kafi ristan
equally with Peachey 1 At thathe puts on his crown and I putson m ine I was doing SeniorWarden and we opens theLodge in most ample form. Itwas a amazing miracle ! Thepriests moved in Lodge throughthe first two degrees almost without telling, as if the memorywas coming back to them. Af
ter that, Peachey and Dravotraised such as was worthy highpriests and Chiefs of far-OE villages. Billy Fish was the first,and I can tell you we scared thesoul out of him. It was not in
89
The Manwho
any way according to Ritual,but
it served our turn . We did n’
t
raise more than ten of the biggest men, because we did n
’
t
want to make the Degree common. And they was clamouringto be raised.
In another six months, saysDravot, we ’
11 hold anotherCommunication
,and see how
you are working.
” Then heasks them about their villages
,
and learns that they was fightingone against the other, and weresick and tired of it. And whenthey was n’
t doing that they wasfighting with the Mohammedans.You can fight those when theycome into our country
,
” says90
would be King
Dravot. “Tell OE every tenthman of your tribes for a Frontierguard
,and send two hundred at
a time to this valley to be drilled.
Nobody is going to be shot or
speared anymore so long as hedoes well, and I know that youwon ’t cheat me, because you
’
te
white people sons O fAlexanderand not like common black
Mohammedans. You are mypeople
,and by God
,
” says he,
running OE into English at theend I ’
ll make a damnedfi ne Nation O f you, or I
’ ll diein the making II can ’t tell all we did for the
next six months, because Dravotdid a lot I could n’
t see the hang91
The Manwho
of, and he learned their lingo ina way I never could. My workwas to help the people plough,and now and again g o out withsome O f the Army and see whatthe other villages were doing, andmake ’em throw rope-bridgesacross the ravines which cut upthe country horrid. Dravot wasvery kind to me
,but when he
walked up and down in the pinewood pulling that bloody redbeard O f his with both fists Iknew he was thinking plans Icould not advise about
,and I just
waited for orders.But Dravot never showed
me disrespect before the people.They were afraid O f me and the
92
would be KingArmy
,but they loved Dan. He
was the best of friends with thepriests and the Chiefs ; but anyone could come across the hillswith a complaint and Dravotwould hear him out fair, and callfour priests together and say whatwas to be done. He used to callin Billy Fish from Bashkai, andPikky Kergan from Shu, and anO ld Chief we called Kafuz elumit was like enough to his real
name and hold councils with’em when there was any fightingto be done in small villages.That was his Council O fWar, andthe four priests of Bashkai, Shu,Khawak
,and Madora was his
Privy Council. Between the lot93
The Manwho
of’em they sent me, with forty
men and twenty rifles, and sixtymen carrying turquoises, into theGhorband country to buy thosehand-made Martini rifles
,that
come out of the Amir’s workshops at Kabul
,from one O f the
Amir’s Herati regiments thatwould have sold the very teethout of their mouths for turquoises.I stayed in Ghorband a month
,
and gave the Governor there thepick O f my baskets for hushmoney, and bribed the ColonelO f the regiment some more
,and
between the two and the tribespeople, we g ot more than ahundred hand-made Martinis
,a
hundred good Kohat Jezails94
would be King
that ’
ll throw to six hundredyards, and forty man-loads O f
very bad ammunition for therifles. I came back with whatI had, and distributed
’em amongthe men that the Chiefs sent into me to drill. Dravot was toobusy to attend to those things
,
but the Old Army that we firstmade helped me
,and we turned
out five hundred men that coulddrill, and two hundred that knewhow to hold arms pretty straight.Even those cork-screwed handmade guns was a miracle to them .
Dravot talked big about powdershops and factories
,walking up
and down in the pine wood whenthe winter was coming on.
95
would be King
hundred and fifty thousand men,ready to cut in on Russia’s rightflank when she tries for India !Peachey, man,
” he says, chewinghis heard in great hunks, “ weshall be Emperors EmperorsO f the Earth ! Rajah Brookewill be a suckling to us. I ’
ll treatwith the V iceroy on equal terms.I ’ ll ask him to send me twelvepicked English twelve that Iknow of - to help us govern abit. There ’
s Mackray, Sergeantpensioner at Se g owli many ’
s
the good dinner he ’
s given me,
and his wife a pair O f trousers.There ’s Donkin, the Warder of
Toung hoo Jail ; there’
s hundredsthat I could lay my hand on if I
7 97
The Manwho
was in India. The V iceroy shalldo it for me, I
’
ll send a manthrough in the spring for thosemen
,and I ’ll write for a d ispen
sation from the Grand Lodge forwhat I ’
ve done as Grand-Master.That— and all the Sniders that ’
ll
be thrown out when the nativetroops in India take up theMartini. They ’ll be wornsmooth, but they
’
ll do for fi g ht
ing in these hills. Twelve English
,a hundred thousand Sniders
run through the Amir’s countryin driblets I ’
d be content withtwenty thousand in one yearand we ’
d be an Empire. Wheneverything was shipshape
,I ’d
hand over the crown this98
would be King
crown I ’
m wearing now to
QueenV ictoria onmy knees, andshe ’
d say : Rise up, Sir DanielDravot. ’ Oh, it
’
s big ! It ’sbig, I tell you! But there
’
s somuch to be done in every placeBashkai
,Khawak, Shu, and
everywhere else.”
What is it ! I says.There are no more men coming in to be drilled this autumn.
Look at those,fat, black clouds.
They ’
re bringing the snow.
”
It is n ’t that,” says Daniel,
putting his hand very hard onmy shoulder ; “ and I don’
t wishto say anything that
’
s againstyou
,for no other living man
would have followed me and99
would be King
Peachey,we want cleverer men
than us now three O r four of’
em, that we can scatter aboutfor our Deputies. It ’
s a hugeousgreat State, and I can
’ t alwaystell the right thing to do, andI have n’
t time for all I wantto do, and here
’
s the wi ntercoming on and all. He puthalf his beard into his mouth,all red like the gold Of hiscrown.
‘ “ I’
m sorry, Daniel, says I.I ’
ve done all I could. I ’
ve
drilled the men and show‘n thepeople how to stack their oatsbetter ; and I
’
ve brought inthose tinware rifles from Ghorband 4 - but I know what you
’
re
10 !
The Manwho
driving at. I take it Kingsalways feel oppressed that way."
There ’
s another thing too,
says Dravot, walking up anddown.
“The winter ’
s comingand these people won’ t be givingmuch trouble
,and if they do we
can’ t move about. I want a wife.”
For Gord’s sake leave thewomen alone ! I says. “We ’veboth got all the work we can,though I am a fool. Rememberthe Contrack, and keep clear O
’
women .
”
The Contrack only lastedtill such time as we was Kings ;and Kings we have been thesemonths past, says Dravot
,
weighing his crown inhis hand.10 3
would be King“! ou go get a wife too, Peacheya nice, strappin
’
, plump girlthat ’
11 keep you warm in thewinter. They ’
re prettier thanEnglish girls, and we can takethe pick O f ’em. Boil ’em onceor twice in hot water, and they
’
ll
come out like chickenand ham.
Don’ t tempt me !” I says.I will not have any dealingswith a woman, not til!we are adam’ side more settled than weare now. I ’ve been doing thework O
’
two men, and you’
ve
been doing the work O’ three.
Let ’
s lie OE a bit, and see ifwecan g et some better tobacco fromAfghan country and run in somegood liquor ; but no women.
”
10 3
would be King
Then she turned up at DadurJunction in tow O f a half-caste
,
and had the impidence to say Iwas her husband all among thedrivers in the running-shed
,too
“We ’
ve done with that,says Dravot
,
“ these women arewhiter than you or me
,and a
Qreen I will have for the wintermonths.”
“ ! or the last time O’ asking
,
Dan,do not,
” I says . “ It’
11 onlybring us harm The Bible saysthat Kings am t to waste theirstrength on women,
’speciallywhen they ’
Ve g"
ot a new rawKing dom to work over.”
“ !or the last time O f an
swering , I Will,” said Dravot, and10 5
The Manwho
he went away through the pinetrees looking like a big red devil
,
the sunbeing on his crown andbeard and all.But getting a wife was not as
easy as Dan thought. He put itbefore the Council, and there wasno answer till Billy Fish saidthat he ’
d better ask the girls.Dravot damned them all round.
“What ’
3 wrong with me !” heshouts, standing by the idol Imbra.
“Am I a dog or am I not enoughof a man for your wenches !Have n’
t I put the shadow of
my hand over this country ! Whostopped the last Afghan raid !”
It was me really, but Dravot wastoo angry to remember. Who
1 0 6
would be King
bought your guns ! Who repairedthe bridges ! Who’s the GrandMaster O f the sign out in thestone !” says he
,and he thumped
his hand on the block that heused to sit on in Lodge, and atCouncil
,which Opened like Lodge
always. Billy Fish said nothingand no more did the others.Keep your hair on
, Dan,” said
I ; and ask the girls. That ’
s
how it ’
s done at Home, and thesepeople are quite English .
”
The marriage of the Kingis a matter O f S tate
,says Dan
,in
a white-hot rage,for he could
feel, I hope, that he was goingagainst his better mind . Hewalked out of the Council-room,
10 7
would be King
a girl he ’ ll not let her( die.
She ’
11have to,” said Billy Fish.
There are all sorts of Gods andDevils in these mountains
,and
now and again a girl marries oneof them and is n’
t seen any more.Besides, you two know the Markcut in the stone. Only the Godsknow that. We thought youwere men till you showed thesign of the Master.”
I wished then that we hadexplained about the loss of thegenuine secrets of aMaster-Masonat the first g o-oE ; but I saidnothing. All that night therewas a blowing of horns in a littledark temple half-way down thehill
,and I heard a girl crying fit
10 9
The Manwho
to die. One of the priests toldus that she was being prepared tomarry the King.
“ I ’ll have no nonsense of
that kind,says Dan.
“ I don’ twant to interfere with your customs
,but I ’
11 take my ownwife.” The girl ’s a little bitafraid
,says the priest. She
thinks she ’
s going to die, andthey are a-heartening of her updown in the temple.”
Hearten her very tender,then
,says Dravot
,or I ’
ll
hearten you with the butt O f agun so you ’
ll never want to beheartened again .
” He licked hislips, did Dan, and stayed up walking about more than half the
110
would be King
night, thinking of the wife thathe was going to get in the morning. I was n’
t any means comfortable, for I knew that dealingswith a woman in foreign parts.though you was a crowned Kingtwenty times over, could not butbe risky. I g ot up very early inthe morning while Dravot wasasleep
,and I saw the priests talk
ing together in whispers,and the
Chiefs talking together too,and
they looked at me out O f thecorners of their eyes.
What is up,Fish ! I says
to the Rashkai man, who was
wrapped up inhis furs and looking splendid to behold.
I can’ t rightly say, says he ;1 11
would be King
I have twenty of my men withme
, and they will follow me.We ’
ll g o to Rashkai until thestorm blows over.A little snow had fallen in the
night, and everything was whiteexcept the greasy fat clouds thatblew down and down from thenorth. Dravot came out with hiscrown onhis head, swinging hisarms and stamping his feet, andlooking more pleased thanPunch.
“ ! or the last time, drop it,Dan
,
” says I in a whisper. BillyFish here says that there will bea row .
”
A row among my people !says Dravot. N ot much.
Peachey, you
’
re a fool not to
8 1 x3
The Manwho
get a wife too . Where ’
s thegirl !” says he with a voice asloud as the braying O f a jackass .Call up all the Chiefs and
priests,and let the Emperor see
if his wife suits him.
There was no need to callany one. They were all thereleaning on their guns and spearsround the clearing in the centreof the pine wood. A lot of
priests went down to the littletemple to bring up the girl, andthe horns blew fit to wake thedead Billy Fish saunters roundand gets as close to Daniel as hecould
, and behind him stood histwenty men with matchlocks.Not a man O f them under six
would be King
feet. I was next to Dravot, andbehind me was twenty men of
the regular Army. ! p comesthe girl
,and a strapping wench
she was,covered with silver and
turquoises but white as death,
and looking back every minuteat the priests.
She ’
11do, said Dan, looking her over. What ’s to beafraid of
, lass ! Come and kissme. He puts his arm roundher. She shuts her eyes, givesa bit of a squeak
,and down goes
her face in the side of Dan ’sflaming red beard.
The slut’s bittenme ! sayshe, clapping his hand to his neck,and, sure enough, his hand was
1 15
would be King
the regular Army—but it wasno use
,so I fired into the brown
of’em with an English Martini
and drilled three beggars ina line.The valley was full of shouting
,
howling creatures, and every soulwas shrieking, Not a God nora Devil but only a man l” TheBashkai troops stuck to Billy Fishall they were worth
,but their
matchlocks was n’
t half as goodas the
'
Kabul breech-loaders, andfour O f them dropped. Dan wasbellowing like a bull, for he wasvery wrathy ; and Billy Fish hada hard job to prevent him running out at the crowd.
We can’t stand,” says Billy
Fish. Make a run for it down117
The Manwho
the valley ! The whole place isagainst us. The matchlock-menran
,and we went down the val
ley in spite of Dravot. He wasswearing horrible and crying outhe was a King. The priestsrolled great stones on us
,and
the regular Army fired hard, andtherewasn’t more than six men,
not counting Dan,Billy Fish
,
and Me,that came down to the
bottom of the valley alive.Then they stopped firing and
the horns in the temple blewagain. Come away for
Gord’s sake come away ! saysBilly Fish. They ’
ll send runners out to all the villages beforeever we get to Bashkai. I can
1 18
would be King
protect you there, but I can’t do
anything now.
”
My own notion is that Danbegan to g o mad in his headfrom that hour. He stared upand down like a stuck pig.
Then he was all for walkingback alone and killing the priestswith his bare hands ; which hecould have done. An Emperoram I
,says Daniel
, and nextyear I shall be a Knight of theQueen.”
All right,Dan
,says I ;
but come along now whilethere ’
s time.”
It ’
s your fault, says he,for not looking after yourArmy better. There was mu
119
would be King
sweep the valley so there is n’
t abug in a blanket left!We walked all that day
,and
all that night Dan was stumpingup and down on the snow, chewing his beard and muttering tohimself.
“ There ’
s no hope O ’ gettingclear
,said Billy Fish.
“Thepriests will have sent runners tothe villages to say that you areonly men. Why did n’
t youstick on as Gods till things wasmore settled ; I
’
m a dead man,”
says Billy Fish, and he throwshimself down on the snow and
begins to pray to his Gods.Next morning we was in a
cruel bad country— all up and12 1
The Manwho
down, no level ground at all, andno food either. The six Bashkaimen looked at Billy Fish hungryway as if they wanted to asksomething, but they said nevera word. At noon we came tothe top O f a flat mountain all
covered with snow,and when
we climbed up into it,behold
,
there was an Army in positionwaiting in the middle !
“The runners have been veryquick
,
” says Billy Fish, with alittle bit of a laugh. They arewaiting for us.”
Three or four men began tofire from the enemy ’s side
,and a
chance shot took Daniel in thecalf of the leg. That brought
would be King
him to his senses. He looksacross the snow at the Army
,
and sees the rifles that we hadbrought into the country .
We ’
te done for,” says he.
They are Englishmen,these
people,and it ’
s my blastednonsense that has brought youto this. Get back, Billy Fish,and take your men away ; you
’vedone what you could, and nowcut for it. Carnehan, says he,shake hands with me and g oalong with Billy. Maybe theywon ’ t kill you. I ’
ll g o andmeet ’em alone. It ’
s me thatdid it. Me, the King !
”
says I. GO to
Hell,Dan. I ’
m with you here.123
would be Kingmy face and splashed on theblotter as I leaned forward.Carnehan was shivering
,and I
feared that his mind might g o.
I wiped my face, took a freshgrip of the piteously mangledhands, and said : ‘What happened after that !’
The momentary shift of myeyes had broken the clear current.
‘What was you pleased to say !whined Carnehan . They tookthem without any sound . Nota little whisper all along the snow,
not though the King knockeddown the first man that set handonhim not though Old Peacheyfired his last cartridge into thebrown of
’em. Not a single125
The Manwho
solitary sound did those swinesmake. They just closed up tight,and I tell you their furs stunk .
There was a man called BillyFish
,a good friend of us all
,and
they cut his throat,Sir
,then and
there,like a pig ; and the King
kicks up the bloody snow and .
says : “We ’
ve had a dashed finerun for our money. What ’
s
coming next !” But Peachey,
Peachey Taliaferro, I tell you,Sir
,in confidence as betwixt two
friends,he lost his head
,Sir.
N O,he did n’
t neither. TheKing lost his head
,so he did, all
along O’
one O f those cunningrope-bridges. Kindly let me havethe paper-cutter
,Sir. It tilted
would be King
this way. They marched him amile across the snow to a ropebridge over a ravine with a riverat the bottom. You may haveseen such . They prodded himbehind like an ox . Damnyoureyes ! says the King. D ’
you
suppose I can’ t die like a gentleman He turns to PeacheyPeachey that was crying like achild. “I ’
ve brought you to
this,Peachey,
” says he. Broughtyou out O f your happy life to bekilled in Kafi ristan, where youwas late Commander-in-Chief of
the Emperor’s forces. Say youforgive me
,Peachey.
” “ I do,”
says Peachey. “Fully and freelydo I forgive you, Dan. Shake
127
would be King
die. He hung there and screamed,and they took him down nextday, and said it was a miracle thathe was n’
t dead. They took himdown poor Old Peachey thathad n’
t done them any harmthat had n’
t done them anyHe rocked to and fro and wept
bitterly,wiping his eyes with the
back of his scarred hands andmoaning like a child for sometenminutes.They was cruel enough to
feed him up in the temple, because they said he was more of aGod than O ld Daniel that was aman. Then they turned him out
on the snow,and told him to go
home,and Peachey came home
9 129
The Manwho
in about a year,begging along
the roads quite safe ; for DanielDravot he walked before andsaid : “Come along
,Peachey.
It ’
s a big thing we ’
re doing.
The mountains they danced atnight, and the mountains theytried to fall on Peachey
’
s head,
but Dan he held up his hand,and Peachy came along bentdouble. He never let g o O f
Dan’ s hand,and he never let g o
O f Dan’s head. They gave it tohim as a present in the temple,to remind him not to come again,and though the crown was puregold, and Peachey was starving,never would Peachey sell thesame. ! ou knew Dravot, Sir !
130
would be King
! ou knew Right WorshipfulBrother Dravot ! Look at menowHe fumbled in the mass O f rags
round his bent waist ; brought outa black horsehair bag embroideredwith silver thread ; and shooktherefrom on to my table thedried, withered head of DanielDravot ! The morning sun thathad long been paling the lampsstruck the red beard and blindsunkeneyes ; struck, too, a heavycirclet O f gold studded with rawturquoises, that Carnehan placedtenderly on the battered temples.
‘You be ’
old now,
’ said Carnehan
,
‘ the Emperor in his ’abit ashe lived the King of Kafi ristan
13 1
would be King
He shambled out of the Oflice
and departed in the direction O f
the Deputy Commissioner’s house.That day at noon I had occasionto go down the blinding hotMall
,and I saw a crooked man
crawling along the white dust O fthe roadside
,his hat in his hand ,
quavering dolorously after thefashion of street-singers at Home.There was not a soul in sight
,
and he was out O fall possible earshot O f the houses. And he sangthrough his nose
,turning his head
from right to left :l
The Son O fMan g oes forth to war,A g olden crown to g ain;His blood-red banner streams afarWho follows inhis train! ’
133
The Man who
I waited to hear no more, butput the poor wretch into mycarriage and drove him OE to thenearest missionary for eventualtransfer to the Asylum.
\He te
peated the hymn twice while hewas with me whom he did not inthe least recognise, and I left himsinging it to the missionary.Two days later I enquired afterhis welfare of the Superintendentof the Asylum .
He was admitted suEering
from sun-stroke. He died earlyyesterday morning,
’ said the Su
perintendent. Is it true that hewas half an hour bareheaded inthe sun at midday !’
‘c ,
’ said I,
‘ but do you hapI 34
would be King
pen to know if he had anythingupon him by any chance whenhe died !’
N ot to my knowledge,
’ saidthe Superintendent.And there the matter rests.
l 35