FA People’s Cup Special 1 As Seen on TV Edition

AS SEEN ON TV!

The Fanzine of Havant & Waterlooville FC’s 50+ Walking Football Team Price: free to a good home, (large) donations in the bucket welcome

The Many Shades Volume 2, Issue 1, March 2016

FA People’s Cup

Semi-final

Special Edition

AS SEEN ON TV EDITION

EXTRA SPECIAL BUMPER

2

Since last we met…

28/12/15 Knock-about at ROKO vs Pompey ITC

24/1/16 FA People’s Cup Quarter-Finals (Goals, Southampton)

Group stage: Pelhams Park Rangers (2-4), Hayling Old Boys (2-

2), Stoke Park Rangers (1-5), Bournemouth WFT (3-0).

Knock-out stage: Gosport Borough (4-2), Pelhams Park Rang

ers (2-1), Southampton Strollers A (1-2).

30/1/16 Maidenhead Utd (a) (3-1)

7/2/16 Winter Festival (Park Community School)

Round robin: Caulkhead Strollers (IoW) (1-0), Emsworth &

Hayling B (0-1), Pompey ITC (1-1), Mountbatten WFC (1-0),

Emsworth & Hayling A (0-0).

23/2/16 Shades of Grey featured on BBC1’s South Today

27/2/16 Dave Hall featured on BBC Radio Solent

28/2/16 FA People’s Cup Semi-Finals (Goals, Bristol North)

Group stage: Abbeymead Rovers (1-1), Wiltshire Wanderers

(0-2), Yma O Hud (Swansea) (0-0), Westcott Vets (0-4), South

ampton Strollers (2-1).

Check out Jeff’s blog at https://manyshades50.wordpress.com/

Also in this bumper edition:

Page 5 FA People’s Cup Quarter-final report

Page 6 RKelly meets—John “the Hat” Hicks

Page 7 FA People’s Cup Semi-final report

Page 12 Winter Walking Football Festival report

Page 13 It’s that bloke off the telly!

Page 14 Maidenhead Magpies (away) report

FA People’s Cup Special 3 As Seen on TV Edition

AS SEEN ON TV!

Secrets of living to a grand old age

Your Many Shades players have been around a while…. How did they make it to

such an exalted age? We asked some of our star players for their secrets….

Mo “the Assassin” Hill: As you can imagine I have travelled a bit over

the years. I think I’ve managed to stay alive so long because I’ve always

avoided going near Midsomer.

Colin “the Doctor” Baker: One thing I believe in is hospitality. Have

friends over to visit as often as possible. But one thing I’ve learnt is never,

ever, invite Miss Marple to stay for the weekend. She just brings out the

worst in some people.

Barrie “the Booze” Gray: Some people think that 1664 is the year I was

born, but it isn’t. It just seems that way. Hydration is very important for a

long and active life. I hydrate as much as possible.

Your Page 3 Stunner is….

Derek “the Chairman” Pope

When we interviewed him, sitting in his high-backed

armchair and stroking his white Persian moggy, he

whispered “So, Mister Shades, we meet again.”

Like all Page 3 Stunners, caring Derek desperately

wants people everywhere to work harder for world

peace. Except for midfielders in the Hawks engine

room, uncompromising defenders at the back, shoot-

on-sight forwards, and goalkeepers who have a duty to

study videos from the 1970s of Gary Sprake’s one-

legged ballet technique.

Soft-focus photo by Stewart Russell So love and world peace it is then. Big softy.

4

Marquee signing boosts Many Shades

Some say he knows a tickle down the leg better than most.

Some say he can whip them off before you can say “bails!”

Some say he can re-rubber his grip faster than a…

No, we’ll stop there.

We just know him as… Adi Aymes, former Champshire wicketkeeper and Bristol

City youth footballer, and now General Manager at H&WFC. Who would have

guessed he was over-50. A round of applause for another first-class half-century.

Although he never made it to City’s first team, his undoubted ability has boosted

the Many Shades’ squad. He was talent-spotted when he made a cameo appear-

ance for the Hawks in a friendly in Jersey in 2008, and has been waiting patiently to

come through our development programme to join the big boys since then.

Internet image

Archive Action 04:10:15

photos courtesy of the Bartolo Collection

Newly unearthed by a team

of crack archaeologists, shots

from our Charity Game on

the WLP pitch against Pom-

pey ITC on Sunday 4th Octo-

ber 2015.

Top: Mo “the Assassin” Hill

clears from Pompey’s Giorgio

Colombi, who seems to be

auditioning for the part of

“the knees” in the next

“Mummy Returns” movie.

Bottom: Clive “the Nimble”

Wilkin leads the charge out of

defence leaving two Pompey

players trailing in his wake.

FA People’s Cup Special 5 As Seen on TV Edition

AS SEEN ON TV!

FA People’s Cup glory for Many Shades Fairy-tale ending for battling squad in Quarter-finals

Playing as the Shades of Grey, the Hawks’ Walking Football team played in the FA People’s

Cup at Goals, Southampton (Sunday 24th January). Playing a mini-league format, the Shades

of Grey struggled to compete with the tempo and pace in their early games, only managing

one draw (2-2 vs Hayling Old Boys) in their first three games. Throwing caution to the wind

in their last match, they finally earned a 3-0 win, to finish with a flourish.

Convinced that this record wasn’t going to be enough to progress, they all went to the

dressing room and got changed, ready to leave. Team manager Matt Bartolo had left for

home with the practice balls, and star player Adi Aymes had just left the car park when John

Hicks, one of the non-playing squad members, rushed in to tell them that they were due to

play again in 5 minutes’ time.

Amazingly they retrieved Aymes, grabbed whatever sweaty shirt, shorts, and socks they

could from the kit-bag, and rushed back out to the pitch. Despite this far-from-perfect prep-

aration, they stunned Gosport Borough by winning 4-2, moving into the semi-final. In the

semi-final they avenged an earlier group match defeat, and winning 2-1, and progressing to

the day’s final.

The Shades of Grey couldn’t manage the miracle of coming back from the dead completely

by winning the final, instead going down 2-1 against Southampton Strollers “A” in a closely

fought match. For the second time that afternoon, they considered themselves to have

been knocked out of the FA People’s Cup.

Once again they got changed, congratulated the Strollers on their win, and thanked the

Goals and FA staff for organising it all. The staff in turn congratulated the Shades of Grey on

progressing to the next round at

Bristol on February 28th. The

Shades of Grey players thought

this was a case of mistaken iden-

tity, but no, it was true, the win-

ners and runners-up on the day

both qualified for the FA Peo-

ple’s Cup semi-finals! Twice

now they had thought they were

out of the cup, only to find that

they were still in it.

The Shades of Grey’s line up was

Colin Jeffery, Adi Aymes, Dave Hall, Rob Kelly, Derek Pope, Jeff Pickering, and

Stewart Russell. Goals: Adi (5), Jeff (4), Derek (3), Rob, Colin, and Stew (1 each).

6

← Dave Hall

pondering just

how long he’ll

have to spend

in make-up

ahead of his

next big BBC

Radio Solent

interview.

Personnel

details from the

FA People’s Cup

Semi-finals ↓ AS HEA

RD ON RADIO!

Your Many Shades squad (masquerading as The Shades of Grey) for the FA

People’s Cup Semi-Final was:

Colin Jeffery, Dave Hall, Rob Kelly, Jeff Pickering, Derek Pope, Kev Rapley,

and Stewart Russell.

Goal scorers in Bristol were Kev Rapley (2) and Stewart Russell (1).

Special mention to the two players who shared the goalkeeping role, Colin

and Dave. Neither of them could be blamed for any of the goals we let in.

As well as the players, the following people also shared the pain: Team

manager Matt Bartolo and his “Special One” tactics book (?), and our great

thanks go to Baz, Barrie, John, Cathy, and Ken for coming along as our trav-

elling support, and to Dave for his excellent minibus driving. It’s great

when you are on first-name terms with your entire travelling support!

FA People’s Cup Special 7 As Seen on TV Edition

AS SEEN ON TV!

FA Cup run ends at semi-final stage

Shades of Grey edged out of FA People’s Cup on goal difference

Battle-scarred galacticos out but not down

Unfortunately fame is over for us this year. As is the way in football, quite often it was a case

of missed opportunities. The semis were made up of six teams: ourselves (the Shades of

Grey) and teams from Swansea (Yma O Hud), Bristol (Abbeymead Rovers), Reading

(Westcott Vets), Wiltshire (Wiltshire Wanderers) and Southampton Strollers. It was played

on a league basis with the top four teams playing the semi-finals followed by the final. Both

teams from the final would progress to Sheffield.

We started very well, against Abbeymead, drawing 1-1 although we hit both the post and

the cross bar twice each. There was only one team in it. Next we played Team Wiltshire.

Now before I give you the result, there was an inquiry about the age of their goal keeper and

his ID was checked. We also ask if the team should have been there at all, as their County

FA drew them from the 12 WF centres in the county, so they were a County side, not a club

side. We lost 2-0. We then played the team from Swansea who were last year’s FA Cup fi-

nalists, and drew 0-0.

Then came a lesson in how walking football is played at the highest level. We played the

team from Reading, who included an ex professional - and did it show! They ripped us to

pieces, it was all that we could do to adopt the tactic of damage limitation, and we lost 4-0.

Entering our last game, against Southampton, it was a must-win game, and we had to hope

other results went our way. We did win 2-1 but alas when the results were confirmed and

the final table announced we were in fifth place with the fourth placed team Yma O Hud

conceding two goals less than we did. So here endeth our FA People’s Cup run.

However we are not down hearted. Our ever optimistic tournament Manager Matt the Miss

and the Special One have already put their spin on the positives. We were among the top six

teams in the South West of England and all of Wales. Having now played against the Welsh

side, which counts as an international, we can claim our first England caps. If you exclude

Swansea and Team Wiltshire we are actually in the top three club teams in the South West

of England. LOL

All that said we had a great time, the best two footballing sides, Reading and Wiltshire, are

going to Sheffield, and we will try again next year.

Finally, on behalf of Havant and Waterlooville FC 50+ Walking Football Club "Shades of

Grey" I would like to thank BBC TV South and Radio Solent very much for the interest that

they have shown. We thoroughly enjoyed our time in the lime light.

Report by David Hall (well-known TV and Radio personality)

8

Prize Quiz: all answers can be found somewhere in this bumper edition

of The Many Shades of Grey

The first completely correct answer received by honestmatt@yahoo.co,uk wins

TWO free tickets to the Many Shades training session of their choice.

1 Easy one to start. Where did the Shades of Grey travel to play in the FA People’s

Cup semi-finals?

2 Which Many Shades player has also played County Cricket?

3 Name the three referees at our Winter Walking Football Festival.

4 The weather at South Downs College 3G pitch between 11.00 and 12.00 on 18th

February was dry and mostly sunny. True or false?

5 Which of the Many Shades players was interviewed on Radio Solent?

6 Who was Man of the Match in the away game against Maidenhead Magpies?

7 How many times did the Shades of Grey think they had been knocked out of the

FA People’s Cup before they found out they had made it to the semi-finals?

8 What was the name of the team from the Isle of Wight that played in the Winter

Festival?

9 Which of the Many Shades once earned a living by jumping out of aeroplanes?

10 Name the two players who have made the most appearances for the Many

Shades without yet scoring a goal?

11 Tie-break—Honest Matt is away at the moment sorting out the Hawks’ new

official website. Has his absence from these pages upset you?

Terms and conditions of entry: Anyone can enter. The free tickets don’t really exist.

There are no tickets for our training sessions. You just turn up and either join in or just

watch. See back page for details.

Health Warning: sometimes there may be audible use of foul and abusive language,

especially when The Wall has been asked to change direction during a training routine

and the Special One has grown a few more Shades of Greyer through frustration with

the confusion it causes.

FA People’s Cup Special 9 As Seen on TV Edition

AS SEEN ON TV!

On a serious note: We’ve been hoping to get

← Dave Veal back from injury for some time, but

unfortunately he has told us that following his

knee operation late last year his specialist ad-

vised him that a return to Walking Football could

jeopardise the whole recovery process and cause

irreparable damage. Dave was part of the original Many Shades team that played

in our first ever match against Eastleigh Dambusters, and his calm demeanour and

dry wit will be missed from both the dressing room and training ground.

Dave has said that at some stage he would like to come along to a Festival or two,

and perhaps help with the running of the day. It will be good to keep in touch, and

we will certainly give him a warm welcome back. He’s a good bloke.

Susan O’Brien, programme manager of the Football Conference Trust, presenting a cheque for £50,000 to the Special One Shaun Gale and some of the Many Shades. The Hawks have received this funding over three years to support their community programme, which includes work in schools, with disadvantaged young people, children with disabilities, and of course the walking football squad. Stew Russell would like to immediately quash the rumour that he tucked the cheque inside his top and ran off to the bank with it. It was Derek Pope who did that.

10

RKelly meets…

John “the Hat”

Hicks

John 'The Hat' Hicks was born soixante-neuf years ago (don't ask him anymore French because that's all he knows!) in Holland to an English squaddie and a Dutch tulip (not sure what that makes him!!). Maybe you can guess what his favourite national football team is? He came to England to attend school (now and again) and spent most of his youth in Portsmouth and Leigh Park. Although he did learn to read he preferred looking at pictures so his favourite ever footballer is Roy of the Rovers - he never lost a game.

On leaving school at 15 (officially) he was given the choice - Borstal or the Army. He didn't fancy having to obey lots of orders, so chose the Army. He did quite well for himself participating in all the important sports - football, rugby, swimming and even a bit of boxing (but that was quite painful!). Being the adventurous spirit that he is he fancied jumping out of aircraft so joined the Paras, serving Queen and country in various parts of the world. When he'd had enough of the Army, he tried settling down doing other normal jobs to earn a crust but finally decided to do his bit for humanity by volunteering to deliver food to the needy during the famine in Ethiopia/Sudan.

He spent the rest of his working life working with various international charities as a logistics/security consultant in such countries as Somalia, Afghanistan, Rwanda & Armenia and lots of other delightful 'holiday resorts' helping to feed and heal the local populations. Various health problems forced him to finally stay at home to be looked after by his long suffering wife. John is married, has three children (who all left home as soon as they could), four step-children (who also left home) and has a total of 10 various grandchildren, who all think that he's a hero! Of course, he would be the best 69 year old footballer in the world.....if only his legs would work!!!

FA People’s Cup Special 11 As Seen on TV Edition

AS SEEN ON TV!

The Yeti presents:

Old Jokes from Old Folks Two old guys, one 80 and one 87, were sitting on a park bench one morning. The 87-year-old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of breath. The 80-year-old was amazed at the guy's stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy.

The 87-year-old said, "Well, I eat rye bread everyday. It keeps your energy level high and you'll have great stamina with the ladies."

So, on the way home the 80-year-old stopped at the bakery. As he was looking around, the sales lady asked if he needed any help. He said, "Do you have any rye bread?"

She said, "Yes, there's a whole shelf of it. Would you like some?"

He said, "I want five loaves."

She said, "My goodness, five loaves! By the time you get to the 3rd loaf, it'll be rock hard."

He replied, "I can't believe everybody knew about this stuff except me."

Dave Funniest Joke Of The Fringe Award— the best jokes from the Edinburgh Fringe:

2015: I just deleted all the German names off my phone. It’s Hans free. (Darren Walsh)

2014: I’ve decided to sell my hoover… well it was just collecting dust. (Tim Vine)

2013: I heard a rumour that Cadbury is bringing out an oriental chocolate bar. Could be a Chinese Wispa. (Rob Auton) 2012: You know who really gives kids a bad name? Posh and Becks. (Stewart Francis) 2011: I needed a password eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarves. (Nick Helm) 2010: I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I'll tell you what, never again. (Tim Vine) 2009: Hedgehogs—why can’t they just share the hedge? (Dan Antopolski)

12

Winter Walking Football Festival, 1.00pm, 7th February 2016, Park Community School.

On a bright but chill-windy day we met up again at Park Community School

for our first Festival of the year. We welcomed two new sides into our fold –

Mountbatten WFC based at the Mountbatten Centre in Portsmouth, and our first

“overseas” visitors Caulkhead Strollers from Sandown IoW. Unfortunately Maiden-

head United’s team were unable to join us as originally planned, but Emsworth &

Hayling were able to bring a second team along at a week’s notice to bring us up to

numbers. Our old friends from Pompey ITC were there, as well as one team from

the Many Shades.

The games were each of two 8-minute halves, and thanks go to our time-

keeper John Hicks and the three referees Dan, Mike, and Edge for keeping things

ticking along nicely. Each team played the other five, and it was good to see that

the standard of play was fairly even. Although there were two teams who didn’t

win a game between them, the margins between success and failure weren’t great.

An example would be that while Mountbatten lost 1-0 to the Many Shades,

with the scores at 0-0 they were awarded a penalty which was saved; really it was a

match that could have gone either way. When we compare both sides’ perfor-

mance against Emsworth & Hayling A, against whom Mountbatten lost 3-0, but the

Many Shades drew 0-0, these fine margins are well illustrated. As in previous Festi-

vals when we have had visitors from much further afield, it is good to see how

closely matched teams are in general, and we hope our friendly Festivals help to

foster good relationships between more and more teams to further promote the

growth of Walking Football.

Overall, it was Emsworth & Hayling who illustrated their strength in depth

by coming first and second overall. Yet again they won our coveted trophy (valued

at over 40 pence), their fourth win out of our five Festivals held (for the record,

Pompey ITC won the other one).

Team p w d l f a pts Emsworth & Hayling A 5 4 1 0 8 0 13 Emsworth & Hayling B 5 3 1 1 5 2 10 Many Shades of Grey 5 2 2 1 3 2 8 Pompey ITC 5 1 3 1 4 4 6 Caulkhead Strollers 5 0 2 3 1 6 2

Mountbatten WFT 5 0 1 4 1 8 1

FA People’s Cup Special 13 As Seen on TV Edition

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AS SEEN ON TV!

The “it’s that bloke off the telly” page

Of course we’re going to brag about it. Natch, innit?

BBC TV South: South Today shown on 23rd

February 2016. Filmed at South Downs

College on 18th February 2016. Screen-

grabs taken from the BBC iPlayer.

← Colin “the Doctor” Baker

↓Pete “the Fast” Dolamore

↓ The Special One

← Rob “the Fit” Kelly

↓ Dave “the Limpet” Hall

14

Maidenhead Magpies (away) Saturday 30th January (won 3-1)

The Many Shades travelled to Maidenhead to play the return fixture against the supporters of Maiden-

head United, the Magpies. Although we had lost 3-0 in the corresponding fixture back in November, we

were buoyed by the knowledge that their goalkeeper had been the difference between the sides last

time, and of course we were full of confidence following last week's progress in the FA People's Cup.

Playing 7-a-side we started in slightly tentative mood, weighing them up. They had a midfield "kingpin"

who was clearly a very good player in his day, and we did make the mistake of giving him far too much

space during the first period, but kept it at 0-0, with Rob Kelly and Pete Dolamore shoring things up nicely

in front of ‘keeper Dave Hall.

Manager Matt Bartolo made a couple of changes for the second period, bringing on John Hicks up front

and Stew Russell in midfield. It wasn't long before a free-flowing move saw Dave Richards left in space to

pick his spot in the bottom corner to fire the Many Shades into a just-about-deserved lead. At about this

time the chill wind started to blow the ball away from our forwards Baz Carter and John Hicks who were

taking turns up front. As both managers shuffled their substitutes, the game ebbed to and fro, and it was

the Magpies who were next to score, a clinical finish leaving Dave in goal no chance. With scores still

level as we entered the final quarter, and with the Many Shades struggling to get the ball out of our own

half against the wind, it took a neat move founded on intelligent movement off the ball and keeping the

ball on the ground for the hard-working Jeff Pickering to find himself perfectly placed to restore the Many

Shades' lead with a low drive past the Magpies keeper. Man of the Match Dave Richards had kept offer-

ing us options of easy passes, his ability to find himself space illustrating perfectly why his nickname is

"Silent But Deadly". Robbie Brown’s pass to John led to our third goal, as John squared it to Jeff whose

shot was parried by their keeper, but dropped perfectly for Dave to coolly volley home for his second goal

of the match.

Shortly after that we had to make a substitution as John was hit in the face by the ball from very close

range as he had closed down an opponent. He was clearly very dazed, and needed support to remain on

his feet and be taken off the pitch where he was treated. Play only resumed after several minutes of this

stoppage. We came under increased pressure for the last couple of minutes as we were forced to play

with 6 men after Pete was sin-binned for (yet another) running offence. But we did see it out fairly com-

fortably in the end for a 3-1 win. Thankfully John was able to make his way to the pub afterwards and

enjoy a couple of pints before

we went to the York Road

Ground to watch the Hawks

running football team take on

the Magpies running football

team.

Massive thanks to Matt Cane

who drove us in the minibus.

Thanks of course also to Lee

Roberts who put in another of

his entertaining shifts as referee,

and manager Matt Bartolo who

kindly shared his phone's music

collection with us on the return

journey.

vs Maidenhead Magpies 30/1/16—standing l-r Matt Bartolo

(manager) Stew Russell, Dave Richards, John Hicks, Barry Carter, Rob

Kelly; front l-r Pete Dolamore, Jeff Pickering, Dave Hall, Robbie Brown

FA People’s Cup Special 15 As Seen on TV Edition

AS SEEN ON TV!

Appearances (and goals)

2015/16 season

Adi Aymes 8 (5)

Colin Baker 1

Matt Bartolo 5 (5)

Mike Blakey 9

Robbie Brown 6

Baz Carter 20

Pete Dolamore 31 (6)

Barrie Gray 7 (1)

Dave Hall 24

John Hicks 21

Mo Hill 14

Colin Jeffery 26 (1)

Tony Jewell 20

Rob Kelly 37 (1)

Joe Mair 13 (2)

John Morgan 13

Jeff Pickering 31 (9)

Derek Pope 24 (4)

Kev Rapley 11 (6)

Dave Richards 10 (2)

Stew Russell 34 (8)

Paul Sealey 16 (2)

Jeff Shires 4 (1)

Steve Talman 14

Derek Trapp 15

Clive Wilkin 5

Andy Wilson 5

Appearances (and goals)

forever

Adi Aymes 8 (5)

Colin Baker 1

Matt Bartolo 26 (14)

Mike Blakey 12

Robbie Brown 16 (2)

Baz Carter 27

George De Ste Croix 7

Pete Dolamore 50 (8)

Barrie Gray 14 (1)

Dave Hall 36

John Hicks 28

Mo Hill 32

Jeff Hooper 6

Colin Jeffery 26 (1)

Derek Jepson 3 (1)

Tony Jewell 28

Rob Kelly 56 (2)

Joe Mair 20 (3)

Cathy Mitchell 2

John Morgan 19

Jeff Pickering 31 (9)

Derek Pope 24 (4)

Kev Rapley 11 (6)

Dave Richards 23 (4)

Stew Russell 56 (8)

Paul Sealey 24 (2)

Jeff Shires 4 (1)

Steve Talman 24 (1)

Derek Trapp 36

Dave Veal 19

Clive Wilkin 17

Andy Wilson 5

Stat attack:

In matches against other teams since 5th February 2015, 32 players have pulled on the shirts and 72 goals have been scored. Top scorer is Matt Bartolo with 14 goals. Most appearances have been made by Rob Kelly and Stew Russell with 56 each.

16

Dahn wiv the kids, yer FA and yer Many Shades of Grey are on #Twitface too...

The Many Shades of Grey train for an hour every Thursday at 11.00am, and on Sun-

days at 3.00pm, coached by our own Special One - Shaun Gale.

The venue is the all-weather pitch at South Downs College, which is opposite the

main entrance to the College. There is plenty of car parking in the college

grounds.

Players should come prepared for all weathers; once a player has shown commit-

ment to the club they will be provided with training kit which should be worn to

training sessions.

Fees are £3.00 per session (£5.00 on Sundays), with a £10.00 joining fee (you pay

this to the club, not the other way round!).

This Newsletter was conceived, designed, and written by Matt Bartolo, Rob Kelly, and Stewart Russell.

Except where directly credited the photos are courtesy of Jeff Pickering, Colin Jeffery, and Stewart Russell.

Havant & Waterlooville FC

50+ Walking Football Team

c/o Westleigh Park,

Martin Road

Havant,

PO9 5TH

To be part of the Many Shades of Grey, contact Shaun

Gale on 02392 787822. If you want a digital copy of

this Fanzine, e-mail us at: honestmatt@yahoo.co.uk

major ego melior sum

“the older I get, the better I was”