the modern man: 2 – a question of digital fun

7/29/2019 The Modern Man: 2 A question of digital fun.

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16/02/2013 21:52The Modern Man: 2 A question of digital fun. dampcardigan

Page 2 of 5http://dampcardigan.wordpress.com/2013/01/08/the-modern-man-2-a-question-of-digital-fun/

09:20 am

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Me - Fully sick! Hope its as good as a few weeks ago

Regurgitating his slang is an easy distraction method but take a look at what Ive done here. Ive

alluded to a specific, previous night out that was so good it warranted another reference. I goout almost every weekend with this fool at least twice and this reference is vague enough todivert questions around the details. Putting faith in my friends mirrored quest for gratificationis dangerous, but ultimately rewarding.

09:22 am

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Gullible 1 - Deffo! Still getting flashbacks now!!!

Despite the overuse of punctuation this unspoken, but shared need for people to think a certainway about us has been successful here.

Best pretend Im working in case the boss catches me. Thankfully, in the modern day, I caneasily switch from the office computer to my Smartphone, carefully hidden underneath thepaperwork Im not doing. Best set it to vibrate. Missing a new notification would be like missinga meal. Oh no, it wouldnt, it would be worse!

My phones buzzed three times but thankfully Im well practiced at pretending to ignore it. Illsave them for my cigarette break in a minute.

10:30am

6 friends like your status

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Gullible 2 - Not gonna make it, dead skint L

Im not interested in those who cant, theyre easily ignored and this guy used an emoticon forfucks sake. What a dick. Just have a quick look through the news feed to see what the rest ofthem are up to.

10:35am

Whats on their minds?

Annoying try-hard 1 dont think I can be arsed going out tonight, I mean, whats thepoint?????

Someone doesnt listen do they? I believe I have already pointed out that this is dangerous


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ground to tread. This person is definitely going out tonight and I will definitely see them. Theproblem is if nobody acknowledges this cry for help it will be too obvious that its just anexercise an attention seeking. I may save this person later. More pressingly, just spotted a cat.Best take an Instagram of it before I finish my ciggy, could come in handy later.

The boss is out for the rest of the morning. This is a perfect opportunity to search for a relevant

song to post alluding not only to my super cool taste in music and retro leanings but to thecoming nights carnage. The Beastie Boys (You Gotta) Fight For your Right (To Party) shouldsatisfy all of the above. Wont post it yet though as Ive got an amateur emo and a cat to dealwith first.

11:03am

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Me Hey! Dont be such a big girls blouse. Get a grip of yourself and get out. Wouldnt be the

same without you!!!

I gave him a spoon full of sugar here whilst saving him from his dangerous ploy. In all honesty Icouldnt care if he does come out especially if hes gonna mope around ruining my carefullythought through pictures.

The rest of the afternoon will pass by in a haze of hurriedly finished work and stealth blogging.Once at home, I can lament how hard my working day has been as a moral justification for howthe night will unfold. Yes, I will be drunk tonight but so much that the overall theme isforgotten about.

Once ready to leave theres just enough time to upload a picture of me posing in the mirror,making sure the logo on my super twatty Smartphone is visible. Ill tag myself and the peopleIm going out with cause, you know, they all secretly want to be me. Then theres the small jobof posting the song, and the picture of that cat with some sort of vague caption. Dear God Imcool.

20:30pm


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Linking it with the song gives me extra twat points.

Ive got nothing to tell you about the night out. Well, nothing that you cant see for yourselvesanyway. My hangover will be pushed aside the following morning to quickly upload, crop andtag all the photos in which Im displaying the right mix of fun, seriousness and cool. Theremight even be one with the guy who said he wasnt coming out. Ill keep my best knowingexpression for that one. Its best to treat photos like a celebrity would. Dont look directly at thecamera all the time, even the ones where its you holding the damn thing at arms length.Pretend like youre too busy being awesome to pose while still being aware of which is your

best side.

There are a couple of stumbling blocks to consider. I obviously wasnt the only person with acamera so time must be spent un-tagging myself from pictures that dont fit my carefullyconsidered persona.

After leaving it for an hour or so, to clock up all the comments and likes, Ill hit everyone with anupdate on my not as bad as Im gonna make it sound hangover.

11:26am

Whats on your mind?

Me What a night!!!! Seriously cant remember anything past 12. Time for a bacon buttythen..?

Ill leave it five minutes to build the suspense. Honestly, I wouldnt do it if people werent sogullible. A couple of friends will even comment requesting an end to the sentence sometimeswith just a question mark, the lazy fuckers.

11:31am
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the modern man: 2 – a question of digital fun

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