the mothers: a novel by jennifer gilmore

7/29/2019 The Mothers: A Novel by Jennifer Gilmore

1/15


2/15

Motherhood, like all great topics for a novel, can overwhelm. Its a

massive subject with many aspects; how to even approach it? JenniferGilmore jumps in, beautifully, in e Mothers, which explores the deepand plangent desire for a child.

MEG WOLITZER, author ofe Interestingsand e Ten-Year Nap

I couldnt stop reading it--it had the harrowing qualities of a psycho-logical thriller, the comedy of a familiar Jewish family, and was alter-

nately hysterically funny and heartbreaking. It is down to the bonestripped-bare honest.

A.M. HOMES, author ofMay We Be Forgiven

A searing examination of the very human desire to be that seeminglysimple thing: a mother. Jennifer Gilmore explores the emotional depthand breadth of mothering with raw honesty and her signature grace.

ANN HOOD, author ofe Red readand e Knitting Circle

With a deft touch, lacerating humor, and a gaze at once steely andtenderhearted, Jennifer Gilmore takes us deep into the experience of

maternal desire. is is a thoughtful, emotionally resonant and intimate

novel. DANI SHAPIRO, author ofDevotion and Slow Motion


3/15

3

1

november 2009

W w hadd th Vaza bdg, caught tac. it

wa va wk Thakgvg, whch i

cau th wa a av ad hagg a cugck udg th hghwa sut Pak. it dpctd a -

u cat tuk tadg, ath uud, a dg

ta, a a x atd aud t.

Thugh w w w t a, th hat ad ga th ca

up wav; kg ut t cud hav a u da,

xcpt th t g th ck th hghwa, th ach

achg up, k ppg thugh tt caw. ra hadw tght th tg wh. Ad Hat, wt Hat, at

hd , patg a.

H. i achd ack t ca h. stt dw, dag.

W w dppg h at h avt pac ath:

pat hu nth Vga wh h at cap ga-

d v ad td, tchd t a th aw,

ad wh at ght ath cad h, cud h a, up ad

dw th ta.


4/15

J e n n i f e r G i l m o r e

4

W w avg Hat ad hadg dw uth, t nth

Caa, a tag at a ata adpt agc.

ra had wt wht, th axd, th c tugt th, a pgt w g pud t th cag h

k.

W t a hu. i cad ck t ahad.

n, h ad.

W ca jut gt th whv.

That t a tu. i a, w d t ragh x.

Wv gt pt t, i ad.

ra kd at ad aughd. W dt actua. Ad c

wh dd u c agg?

i a wg t , i td h, ut d? i dd th ath k i

awa dd th ath, thugh i a t a ath p: it 7:30 a.m.

i w gt t Vga , ad ta t ut, w .

oth ath: i i hav a a ght th ut, i w vt-xwh th chd ag w. but i a t pgat, i hav t

add th ad chag th quat: i gt pgat ght

th ut. but cu, i t gttg pgat. Whch wh

w takg th tp th t pac.

u hu ad t ut at avg bk, w pud up t pat hu, c h, ut w h

a uth-f wak-up bk. nt th t t, i azd

that th wp th c ad ad th wa th h at th t

d aud ack t a t pat wth wught ta ad

cuhd cha, a acu fakg th hu gd azaa

ad hdaga uh ad, akg th d th ppt, a ag

wdp t d th pac wt, w a t va. i aw


5/15

T h e M o T h e r s

5

a a chd ug th pk ut ack, a aw acg

th t. i aw luc tg t catch hd ad i hdd

th .Wh had i tppd dpaagg pat wa ad had

tad gu t cvt t?

ra pakd th tt, avg ugh th

t z ut th gaag, a h t dd, wthut httg u ca.

mada Hat tk th quckt p h udd

up th aw t th t d ad at, ta waggg, watg

th t t h . i ad ut th d, u ght thck

wth ghtg ug. Wt, tag w th tad u

m bt. Th t wht ght th ktch.

H! Th d wug p. Hat ad up h ack

g, quag ad tg. Ad th h wa:

Th mth.

H, m. i td th hawa.H, h.

Ja! ra acd h.

yu tw wat uch u gt ack th ad?

th akd.

Quck, i ad.

Thak u uch takg Hat. ra hadd v

th ah.A u kddg? W v watchg h. sh u gaddg!

i athd hap at th, a w ddt hav a gadkd t

up, ut a dg. luc, th a ug, wa tachg

suth Aca. o h wa ug th ad udg hut? o

cua dvg? Whatv h wa dg, th ddt t a

dp ctt t a h pat. shd vd awa v

v a w, ad i hadt h a th.


6/15


6

luc ad i had had ag-ut t pak , agut that

had dvdd u, ad t w a cucatd w; w had t

pk ag wh w caught ach th th ph at wk.J? i had had d quawkg th ackgud; had

th a th ud th ca?

luc! i cd hag h vc. Hw a u? Wh a

u?

Paaa? h ad. Wth a d.

A pat cad spah, Dnde est la carne de res?

lat t wd pk, t had Cta rca. nw,

Paaa, h wa dg t cut utach wth

a aa ug ad akg jw wth dad ug th.

A th hd td wth a gh xhaut, a hd acqud

vt cpa tavd t th ; ad h wa a

hpg th d p a ca pcazg Gk d. Ad h

wa ug, t, whch wa wh h had ga add Ctarca. sh had c a u, t, luc.

A h pk i ad a t t v d hpthtca chd

t cg Caa.

m t ad i kw tt aut ach th w. Th at

t wd takd i td h i wa aut t ak a t-

t tatt. i hadt wd up t t h t wa uuccu,

ad h hadt cad t d ut. sh wa , ut th, -wh; t wa had t x a actua ag h that hd t, that

wat t.

m th, hwv, wa h , a ackdp

i kw w, ut h t had c ucgza. m wh

, hd wkd, tavg th at a t. it wa u hu-

kp, Caud, wh ad u da. sh kpt h t wat

tud h a ad w a A wg ak, gag

ack ha that h wud tak wh h wa th hu, va-


7/15

T h e M o T h e r s

7

g that h had wa ad pat, th ag ha taghtd,

gad wth pad, ad pd ack.

Jut ut, t ak u a adwch th ad, th ad, a h had dg uch ad k ad

ck v da .

Ad c, i cad at h, ag h ataad

that h had awa h jut t v .

What a th? i hav akd th t. A ra ad

i haud ack t th ca, wavg gd- t th ad

Hat, wh ddt gv a ck that w w avg, i thught aut

w th ava, h upackg, luc ad i atcpatg

u gt. W at c-ggd h d watchg h v h

tav kt ad h pct dd gat a w watd u

packag t g th dpth h utca, whch d a, cag ut, ud kt. sh wud

th tu t ac u. That wa ack wh th t h g

ut t th u wthut th uc that cud ptct h

a uca xp, ad h ac wa va had dak, h

ad chk pkd wth th ck i hav htd.

Wh, i wdd th, wa th dvpg wd, wh i kw

th wt, awa th u?Th gt w ga ad vau: a wv akt,

gu, wd apk hd cavd t phat ad ga,

a cth vp ctag th ca ad. o patcua t,

h hadd a a packag dd a wkd, wax w

pap ag ad wappd h g paat kt. id

w va cpp act.

Th ptt, id td th. but tuth i ddt k

th. What i a watd wa a dagg ta hat updd


8/15


8

a gd cha, ttd t d, k Ad Gvg

att w. i ddt wat what wa pucha a akt-

pac Aca.nw i wd hw h cud hav t u g, what that

wa k h.

b, i d, watchg th ad Hat th t

ad, h wavg a w pud awa.

ra ad i t ita wh i wa tavg th a. id

wkg dtata a pt wa gd ad

gata ptc ctpa itawhch ad t

cv gat th vt. i hadt kw wh i pad

th tp hw axu id wh tavg a, cug ht,

acqug pp cuc. o ght ta, ag Gp, i w

papt tapd t hat.i hav t agd that i wud v hav t ra had

i had cpahp th td, dut at. i r,

i pt a ht u u. ra wa vtg h th

Taca, t tw hu r, wh hd c t ta wth

d, ad h t wa uaccpad wh w t sata

maa Tatv.

m th adtc tutc g had put cathdaatgthvag ac ac ut a th hav ak

daggg ttp a i wa pud t vtgat ach tw

chuchut th tp th d th hat, ad i

wakg ut th u ad t th aa ut dak-

.

Wh d aggu cta ght, chuch dak? i w-

dd at th, kg up at th duk cg, th dak wa

d gd, th cavd dcat. i cpt t th cha


9/15

T h e M o T h e r s

9

hd th ata, wh th c wa td: sat Apa ku

cad ga a d d vvt.

Th wa a t t t a c ad wh i dppd a a , thku t up ad th tg chuch ght i cud t gv,

th wav paatg th dt pat th cau. Th

ght dd t at g ad wh t wtchd i tud t

ra watg hd .

Wat t watch aga? H hd a c tw h thu ad

g.

Ad th th t wa, uatd. lk a hatat, i thught.

i had t thkg a chd th. oc a th ath i dd

wa utact: i had id had cacut i had

uvvd . Phap i wa thkg th upg

duat w hat.

That t ght, ra pk wth th u at th cvt wh

i had cud tt ct th w w, th d htpud up tght k a cad chd, k th g th mad

k, a i tvd ag th cvt. A i wakd awa, i

kw th t w thkg that th t thd had aut

Aca wpca th Jwh had tu.

That ght r wa th t t c id had ug

that id t tuch . Th ght tad thugh

th wdw, ad wh i td ht, ttatv, th thatctd , that jaggd cut, wa uatd th ga ght.

ra had paud. lk k u t that catght, hd ad

vg .

At tw da pzza ad pata ad c ad c ca ad

d atchk ad tt ca ad pazza d up wth pg,

ad th xchag t aut u paat v nw yk


10/15


10

Ct, wh ra w vd, w at atg at a pac Cap d

. Th tauat atd a chc tha 3,456 tp

zzaa ad a a a i cud t t th wa t tht dcu, ca, dcta id v tatd. i wa

t t, cd, thd tat wh ra akd id

k t t h th.

bath dp ucpcatd v th zzaa, i kd

ra. but i dd t kw th wa a atg athp. s,

, i wa t dg, jut th, t t h th. Ad t i wa

tgud. Wh luc ad i tavd wth pat, th ught

ut a a t ck a tpca a u, a tauat wth

u cha th uta cudt d a gudk (

wthut , t tu ut), a pca c cawhch

hw d t cud u?cud attd. Th ga: a tu

xpc that gtzd th pvg u tu, d-

g t authtc ad th quag u a atpca Aca.Wh tavg, v tu dw th pptut t vt th h

a dgu p, i thught, ad i td ra that i

wud v t t h th.

i thught a th dgu jct th had ught

h tav: a ak Ka that had dacd a

wa c ad had c c av; a vd d

Hat wth utd p t ack; a mcca wv akt. A wdv th hghwa t th dt ad that tk u t ra

h a agcutua ct utd th commune, i w-

dd what i cud g ack, p that i had tavd th.

ra xpad that h th, Paa, had gw up T-

aca, whch a tw th g laz. but h jut c

ack t v pat ct, h ad.

ra had dcd h xpc vg a v th wd

du t h spah ath wk bP. H td aut vg


11/15


12/15


12

a gaphc att at patg ad, k th r,

whch ad h thk that i wud hav t tad a add t

pat th, whch cu at that i cud a, ad t that i cud a, ut that i t cta woulda, ad , tt

t a achtct, av nw yk, ad c ack t Taca ad

ud up th vag.

Ww, i ad.

y. ra vd h had k ad ga aga

t dv. Ad t wa ut ad th hu ak .

yu a t t u actua dw up th pa ad th

jut ut th hu? A tt wa up a tuck wa akg

t wa twad u ath pd, aag, a th wa

ca th ad.

Th pt , th t what u wud ca a Aca a

tuat. Th d t a ut kd ad i thught

th a gd ra had td hd ught ht Paa: a sw aa, a mxca pat, ad t ct, a

phtgaph baz wh had vtd Java wth ra. Th

had tak a tp t th jug ad had hkd dw t a pca

cav ad ra had pd a ua t h ac t

kp th at awa.

i kd at ra. What dd h wh h kd at , ad

Aca?What h ddt t tc ca aut wa th pckup

tuck ag twad u. A, h ad, u d t gt d

vthg u c th hu. Cgatt, cd, a

kd ach.

i ptd at th tuck. Ach? Ad a a?

ra put th ca v ad ga ackg up at a uc-

ta apd pac.

ra! i gad what i thught wa th at th


13/15

T h e M o T h e r s

13

d ut tud ut t th aua wdw cak. it ppt

had. sht. i t axt .

ra had ackd t a tt patch fattd ca ad wwatchd th tuck ca , t wh attg a th pt dut

ad t at u.

C th wdw! H achd v .

H. i hadd th patc ctapt v t ra.

H ad v aga, tckg t ack wth a cud

puh. it ha a a, h ad. yu a hav t

cau t t pu t at a, jut puh t, gt.

Hav u thught xg t? i akd, aad w t tuch

th had.

Wh? i u had t gt, pp, th p,

h ad. Awa, t, h wh u d t dup a cga-

tt, cd, athg th atu.

y, ut i dt hav a th thg.yu u? ra pud ut t th ad. D u hav a

g? bcau th w g thugh u ag. sh w

ach vthg, ra ad.

t a, had i ackpackd thugh eup a, wth -

g, ad t itaa-spah gu wh v nw yk

wh id pg wth th ght, dt u thk h

ght hav t w? Th g, i a.H d.

Ad cd a? That dcuu, i ad. yu hw d,

tht-v?

H ddd aga. W, tht-th.

i wa twt- th.

H cudt u, i thught a h wd dw t a tp

t a ag ta d, a u, a c i hav

patd t at ad th twd d th chuch


14/15


14

Gk ad. Pk ad pk ugava ad twtd ght

g v cd up th d ad v th d.

ra tk a k ut th ca ahta. H wt t th dad puhd t p: a fah ght ad th th tp ctu t

wth th g wax av, ach hav wth ad

ag. Th h tud t th ca ad dv u w d,

gav cuchg ath u t.

Th wa th hu, th hu that ra had pad, wth

a d ca ad wd hutt, pd wd (th wdw,

i azd, w ad hut), ad a a taca adg

up t a a tac vkg th dvwa. muta up,

haz, th dtac.

Th at th tp th ta td a tut wa, h ack

ha wpt up, h tad a dd ac h cht. sh wa

cag itaa, a aguag i cud a ak ut v wh

t wa t g ht k at . Ad th th wa wdptg, at th ca, at , phap th, a i puhd wa ut,

a i w dg gavt, ad th, i cud gt h wth

a itaaBuongiorno! id pactcgwad th ca,

th wa cag. ra pd h a wd, h had

ttd a h wakd up th tp t h ad tk h h a.

maa! h ad.

H vc wa ufd w, ut t, h ad wd gtuwth h had, v a h huggd h . i cud a v

h uth cuv t a :

Th mth.


15/15

sceA Dvo o so & schute, ic.

1230 Aveue o the Aecanew yok, ny 10020

Th ook a wok o fcto. nae, chaacte, place, ad cdetethe ae poduct o the autho agato o ae ued fcttoul.A eelace to actual evet o locale o peo, lvg o dead,

etel cocdetal.

Copght 2013 Jee Gloe

All ght eeved, cludg the ght to epoduce th ook o pototheeo a o whatoeve. o oato adde sce suda

rght Depatet, 1230 Aveue o the Aeca, new yok, ny 10020.

t sce hadcove edto Apl 2013scribner ad deg ae egteed tadeak o The Gale Goup, ic.,ued ude lcee so & schute, ic., the pulhe o th wok.

o oato aout pecal dcout o ulk puchae, pleae cotactso & schute specal sale at 1-866-506-1949 o

[email protected].

The so & schute speake bueau ca g autho to ou lve evet.o oe oato o to ook a evet cotact the so & schute

speake bueau at 1-866-248-3049 o vt ou wete at

www.opeake.co.

mauactued the Uted state o Aeca

1 3 5 7 9 10 8 6 4 2

isbn: 978-1-4516-9725-4isbn: 978-1-4516-9788-9 (eook)

the mothers: a novel by jennifer gilmore

Documents