From, heddergto@hotmait.com

To, ideas@addicttab.com

lwd: ; : i : i : ; : ,*r ' i r ' ; ' .//)) Date, Thu.29 Nov 2001 03'20'34 +0100

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'we haue been attacked. ll is horrific. saw the first lower 00 down. Euerything insane.,

From, slbehr@excite.comTo: Jan@addictlab.com

l r lhL?i l i lshEhIDate, Fri, 30 Nov 2001 1 5:07,1 6

>)>>>>> now--one wonders i f they wi l l eventual ly be edi ted out) , whi le those f i lmed later show other

From, ambriel@ambrielfloyd.comTo, Jan@addictlab.com

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I have looked at a lot of the photos I have taken oven the past sevenal months and have seen in them things - :see so clear ly before. The photographs I have of New Yorkers on the street now seem to carry a more iconic -=. .about how we inhabi t the space we cal l l '4anhattan and how we relate to these bui ld ings that surnound us and:.=ronment in whjch we l ive. I would l ike to submjt a photo essay about New Yorkers, nragic moments; evenyday p: : : 'that now have such a momentous and devastat ing shared exper ience behind them. l rnages fnom before, dur ing, ar:Septemben 11, show why the future of New Yor k is and always has been jn j ts people.I th ink the peop'1e here are the best testaments to our strength, commonal i ty, and adaptabi l i ty . For examples. :v is i t these pages:ht tp: / lambr i e i f l oyd . comlaugustc i * ,y/pag€one. htmIr t tp: / / ambri e I f l oyd. com,/august c i ty lpagef i ve. htmhttp: / , /ambni e 1 f 1 o-vd. com/u,or l dt . radecenter/page9. htm

Date: Fri. 23 Nov 2001 06:13:24

From, steffrocknak@yahoo.comTo, ideas@addicttab.com

StrFLi l lF I r lc l i l rcr<Date, Tue. 4 Oct 2001 02,35,1 2 +01 00

>) I would love to carve something fon a NYC memorial . A set of f igures against the backdrop of a running video>>of the event. 0n ei ther s ide, there would be a screen with a st i l l shot and descr ipt ion of a person who>) per ished in the disaster.>)This shot and descr ipt ion would change every minute or so, cycl ing through al l who died. Here is an idea of))what I carve (see photo or go to)> ht tp: / /www. stef f rockna k. com)

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From, heddergto@hotmait .com

To, ideas@addict tab.com

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2 Date, Wed. 31 Oct 2001 03,20,34 +01 00ATTACHMENTS, ctur

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>> Dea r Jan ,>)>> Here are some more ' loose' ideas to fue| the art ic le/pr letc. . .>> I th ink i t 's c lear how the font came abbut, through the inter>> pretat j on of Paul Auster 's story etc. However, the book gave me)) 3 v isual c lues and some more wrt ' t ten ones. So to create the>> alphabet, af ter hdvjng bought a map of NY ci ty, I d id my own))wander jng to ar l ive at a complete alphabet.>>Simj lar i t jes in eveny day l i fe I can connect wj th th is story: a>> choreographer who tnansl ates hi s thought i nto movements , or>> scores, on a piece of paper which then serves as a t ranslat ' ion)) for the dancers to move to. Af ter a l l is St i l lman not choreoq->> rapher and dancer at the same t i me?>> Simi lar but less strong are the 1i t t1e planes we see on sum->> mer 's days tracing pnomotional messages in the sky. The message)) exists, but only very br ief '1y, i t s1ow1y fades. blurs and disdp)) pears agai n.)) The font is c lear '1y related to New York and der ived from Paul>> Auster 's book, but i t a lso asks the quest ion, what would a Los))Angeles font look l ike, or one related to a European cj ty such>> as London, Panis or Brussels? Does j t te l l us somethjng about>> the to\4n's p1 annens, the f i rst set t l ers or even the revol ut i on)) any upheavals of Par js and the Haussman clean up that fo l lowed.)) Sjnce the idea is so c losely nelated to Paul Auster 's book New>>York stor ies, might i t be an idea to involve the publ ishers?)) Even just for sponsonship. 0r even better jnvolve Paul Auster)) h imsel f .) ) ref : Paul Auster 's 'Ci ty of Glass')) Kind regards, and looking forward to seeing i t a l l gel .

>> Interestr 'ng websi tes/artr 'c les about the book:)) ht tp: / /www.cwd.co.uk/babel /auster. htm)) ht tp : / /www. nyt i mes. com/books /99 / 06 / 20 / speci a I s /a uster-c i ty. html)) www. bl uecr i cket. com/auster/auster. html

>> Extract f rom one of the art ic les:>> "For example, a few days af ter he has been fol lowing the elder)) St i l lman around the streets of New York, Quinn not ices that the>> routes that St j l lman is taking seem to be at tempts on St i l lman's>> part to create gigant ic, invjs jb le let ters on the street; 0uinn>> traces their route out for the fourth day and discovers the>> let ter "0," the f i f th day produces a " | | j , " and on and on unt i l) ) the el eventh day when he has "0b/ER0FBAB. " Qui nn guesses the)) f i rst four let ters (another element of uncertainty) , and arr ives)) at the conclusion that St i l lman is spel l ing out "THE TOI,JER 0F>> BABEL," because he knows that St i l lman is obsessed with that>>bibl ical story.

))This jncident j l lustrates many of the themes that I have brought>> up so far. Fjrst of a l l , the story of the Tower of Babel is one>> about the confusion of 1 anguage, the bar-r jer that words have)) become in the fa l len wor ld, where one word can have several>> meani ngs and one object can have several names.)) Secondl y, i t br i ngs up another el ement of uncerta i nty, i n that>> not only does 0ur 'nn have to guess at the f i rst foun let ters)) (because at that point he was not wr i t ing down the route that))St i l lman fol lowed), but a lso because Quinn is never sure whether)) St i l lman is real ly wr i t ing these let tens on purpose or whether)) he, Quinn, is just imagining them. Cur iously, 0ujnn does not)) actual ly t race out the route on days twelve and thir teen to)) conf i rm his suspic ions: we ar e lef t wi thout the conf j rming "e ' l . ">>And, as 0uinn himsel f po. ints out, "e l" is the Hebrew word for)) "God," so that we are, in ef fect , lef t wi thout the assurance of>> God in th is book. In l j terary terms, God signi f jes an absolute,)) a standard by which we can measure the wor ld; the possible>> absence of an absoiute f rom the text again leads us to quest ion>>why some arbr ' t rany leads are fo l lowed in Quinn's case and others>> abandoned. "

Uptown Manhattan

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' l is tory,53The Ansoni l ,55

The Arsenal, 25

Asia Society, l4

Belvedere Castle, 36

Bethesda Founuin, 33

Blockhouse No. 1,42

Bloomingdale 's,22

Bridle Path, 30

Cathedral of St. John theDivine, 47

Cenrtal Patk Zoo, 24

Chess and Checkers Hou$e,28

Childrcn's Museum ofManhatan, 5l

Chi ldren's Zoo,26

China House, 19

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Conservalory Carden, 2

Cooper-Hcwitl Mtrs€um, 7

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Dakoh Apanment\, 56

Dclacorte Thearer, l7

El Museo del Barrio, I

Fordham Universi(y, 60

Fr ick Museum, l3

Cracie Mansion, l0

Crlnt 's Tomb,45

Great Lawn, 39

Gtrsgenheim lv'ltrsetrm, I

Hayden Planetarium (at thcAmerican Museum of NaturalHistory).53

Hector Memorial, 50

Horel des Ailisles. 57

Hunter Col le!e. l6

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From, maxb@xs4alt.nITo' Jan@addictlab.com

Fut iDate' Fri. 12Oct2001 07,49/8

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) ) Shadows over f4anhattan

>> New York not only lost thousands of l ives and two skyscrapers on Septemben 11.>> I t lost the presence of those people and those bui ld ings, that was nonmal ly fe l t>> throughout Downtol l in 14anhattan. New York lost their shadows. You see someone coming)) when you not ice their shadow around the -corner. You know someone's there, when you>> see a shadow through the door. The shadfr , r of a f r iend can be comfort ing. In a wide)) semj-c i rc le around the World Trade Center the l ight is d i f ferenl now. I t doesn' t) ) change suddenly at f ixed t jmes , , , /hen the sun hides behjnd the two tal l towens.)) I t doesn' t l jqht up again when the sun has passed them.>)>> In some myths, a man loses his shadow and doesn' t d ie. But his is a l i fe hard' ly worth>> l iv ing. i , l i thout a shadow, he has no real presence. i^ l i thout d shadow, he is not of>> thi s earth. A shadow j s proof of exi stence.

)) When somethjng horr ib le happens, they say i t casts a shadow over the wor ld. 0r r ' f i t>> was ant jc ipated, they sdy that r ' t 's shadow preceded i t . Shador is can be signs of l i fe)) and of death. But regardless of good or evi l , a shadow medns memory.) )>> 0ur pr0posal symbo'1izes the memorial value of shddows. I t suggests re-cast ing the>> shadows of the Twin Towers at the t imes they col lapsed. Careful ly , or should one say)) lovingly, tnacing the out l ines over everything they louched at that moment. 0t would)) have touched, had they been intact . The si te j tsel f r lv i l l be f i l led again. New bui ld-)) ings, d j f fenent people, wi l l move their shadows over 14anhattan. But these ones, l ike)) the hands of a c lock that stopped when l i fe around j t stopped, wi l l remajn st i l l .) ) A twin shadow reminding us of good and evi l .

(@ Funlab, Exper ience and Ententainment Design f4asters, Design Academy Eindhoven,2001. Pant jc ipants in th is pnoject were: Suzanne van Andel , Jor is Jacobs, Kim deRegt, Roy Roth, Gregony Shapi ro, Stephen Versteegh , Toon Vugts . Tutor: [ '4ax Brui nsma ,edi tor ia l desion)

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From, Heather@addictlab.comTo, Jan@addicttab.comSubject, Story of Jeph Gurecka and Dora Storch

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The air outs ide hds become so much better. I t 's abeaut i fu l c lear morning; the pureness of th is dayhowever, cannot go past the despaj r of the inact iv i ty going on. i no longer feel the rddiantenefgy of hope and tenable convjct ion t0wards therescue ef for t . l lhen i I ook i nto the di stancethere is more machinery than men. I t 's ds i f th isrs n0w a c0nstruct ion s i te not a disaster. I keepthinking everything under the rubble whether animate 0r inanimate has jusl become one; a smolder-ing mass of detr i tus. I can feel the wejght andthe darkness at the bottom. The empt iness 0f thew0rkers expressjons haunts me. This moment makesme rea I i ze everythi ng I have to I ose. I may havenot I ost a famj I y member oT wi fe or chi I d but Iwj l l soneday. I a lso know that so many things Iwas searching for in l i fe were found here; a deepconvict ion in people, and a s i tuatr 'on thdt gdveme d sense of extended fami ly.

l , /a l k jng towards the main gate I know I mustleave. l , , / i th the ufderstanding thdt th is wj l l bemy I ast t ime here and that I wi I I no I onger begranted access is unbearable. l " ly l i fe support hasbeen drained, what wi l l become of me withoutthem? As I pdss the mi l i tdry men I g lance to thelef t and r ight and nod, and they nod too.

After crossing the threshold of the sacred andthe obscene, vulgar lhoughts of the bigger picture come int0 my mind. I th ink about what therest of the c i ty i s feel j ng, the anger that j sbreeding, and lhe peace mongers who are preach-' 'q. T oT rOW d1 ouls 'de agai- .

I don' t turn around. By ref lect ing back into conversdt ions that I had ear l jer th is day, I p jcturepeople 's faces dnd stor ies I heard. I smi le,because a smi le I found in these past two weekscan d0 the nost good for anyone 0r anythjng.

t ia l k ing up l / lest End Highway I wane and begin t0ref l ect on the i dea of purpose that many I i kenysel f had not had unt i I September El eventh. Howwil l th is af fect us f rom here and on out.1. , /e, thevol unteers, were very for tundte t0 have had theabi l j ty to f ind s impl jc i ty jn i ts purest state. Idon' t want to bel i eve that another wor l d exi stsoutside of these gates, one that I unintent ionally pul led mysel f f rom. A sense of helplessnessc0nsumes my body. Approaching Canal Street I

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- : : . - : e lways spot the i l legal volunteers r ight1-. . - '2: would ask to help out and then hi t you:- : ' : . l t imdte quest ion. "Do y0u know anybody:: : : - _:et me a pass"? l ,Jhether you saw them again

-: : : ' :n t matter.

: n: .e obsessed w'rh gett i rg to Ground Ze.o,: : : ' ' th is was a pi lg| jmage to a holy s i te. Ther i j : - i , wlo were desperate for a pass one oay,- . - . , - . pass more Val id than yours the next. I t: - : : : - ie a constant struggle, and a new type off i : : : ' : ' : ! was forming. I t was also amazing to seer ' : : : i Cent j t i es coul d be swapped for the oppor-' - : . : : stay in another day. In one day you could: : - : : Saientologist , a Red Cross Volunteer or ar: i : j -1e 5a'vat ion Arny.

: ' : i ssues at hand. Every few days the passes:-afge, you always knew ir advance. I was tem-. . ra l id wi th the gray duct tape unt i l the

i - f r ice issued of f ic ia l yel low badges, which." : r '1ro blue, and ul t imately became red.- i scare came when even the red was soon to, 'aa.' : - scramble was to get the ul t imate photo ID,-- : t -c come from a sponsored agency.

:- :a: ts that were made proved invaluable: ' : re remainder of our stay. The:: r ; is ts became a major al ly in our t ime of- ' : , / were large in number and ef f ic ient , actu-- : ' : ihan ef f i c i ent , af ter ta l k i ng to one of

^: : i nformed that they were actual 1y revers:- : :ownward spi ra l " , an L. Ron Hubbard term,

. :Jess, impl jes the "wor ld going t0 hel l in a-. :ney were always in s ight due t0 thej r^-- :h may or may not have been a resul t of:" !h l yel low T-shir ts. I f a c iv i l idn was in' : : ' ing found and excommunicated from the vol-' - , - ;ommunjty, he/she cou. ld always go to the: : : - js t for cover. For the smal l fee of wear-: . : lunteer ninister T-shir t , a c iv i l ian could:- r i th the cause.

;- . of c iv i l ian volunteers were workjng twice: : : the organjzed ones, who had to cut- ' : i tape and hierarchies wi th in their Own

':hey wene to get anything accompl ished. I f: , : rheard that the foot d0ctors on the si te

:- : . iage of ant jbacter ia l creme and were hav' , :k in gett ing more suppl ies f rom the Red: ' : re were al ways ci v i I i dns who took i t upon' . :s to make the underground connect ion. I t

: . -ways easy, a volunteer had to go thr0ugh a:= Ci f ferent organjzat ions t0 ul t imately get

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> The si te was a glainy black and white pr int . a 1on9> exposure shot at moonl ight. I t was nuch colder to> Look at than i t actual ly vas. I t was grandiose, nole> beaut i ful than ant ic ipated. I ts threat tooned high> and large, and l ived within the snoky debris i f rag->neDls of a people. a place, and a t ine. I ts terrain> was barren except for the chain of people repet i-> t ively handing down rel ics to one another. These> people were the arter ies lunning through this ves-> l ige, with rhythm, syncopat ion, and devot ion. The> usual ly menacing heavy nachinery was not such in> comparison to i ts backdrop, except for the massive> leeth that was pul l ing and r ipping thousaods of tons>with great ease. Encircl ing the si le were empty cav-> i t ies that had once stared proudly out. Al l windows>were blown out, and in sone, Iarge glass shards> sl i l l huDg from high above. Inside some of these> bui ldings the thick coat ing of dust cut with part i -> cleF of every var iety of object inside, l4uddy paths> and{ strei ls rol led through the lobby of one of the)bui ldings on the si te. This was a nain port of entry> fo! al l - who worked in the smoking "pi t" , nasked f ig-> ures entered in droves to the alena where their> shi f t began. Above the stately narble staircase that> flowed down to whele the debris net the mud were> sclawled messages and graff i t i that evoked homage to> those that had died fron those that wi l l forever> miss them. I t is a sacred chanber high above the> ashes and tucked away from the comon nan. I ts only> l ight was the many halogens that bei led onto the> sight and radiated though the broken window frames.

>Upon leaving the "pi t" , I walked through a labyr inth> of puddles, nuddy canals laden with f i le hoses and> electr ical wires. The corr idor that once used to be> the lobby of this bui lding is dalk except for the> rush of quiver ing f lashl ights and splashing boots.> On the way out I 9o through a ser i-es of lobbies and) revolving dools. Securi ty personnel stood st j - l -L,> ruminat ing on what they were actual ly guarding. Once> outside and into what used to be the coultyard near> the Hudson River a sigh of rel ief vould cone about.>The atmosphere was l iqhter, the air nore breathable.> Wafts of gr i l led chicken and mashed potatoes> replaced the burnt el-ectr ical and biological odols> inside. This was a rather bust l ing hub, caf6 cul ture> at i ts f inest. Men and women were si t t ing at the> or iginal outdoo! tables that l ined the exter ior of> the nain bui ldings, many in repose and frustrated.> some eat ing and dr inking merr iLy, or shoul-d I say as>merry as one could get dur ing a t- ime l ike this. I t>was an mazing place. Spray-painted scraps of wood> beci le the ne{ road signs,> and vould grow each day. Even the caf6, which volun->teers created the f i rst few days, had i ts own mar->quee that read "FREEDOM CAFE". I found a table near> the large outdoor sculpture that was now a garbage> dunp. Heaps of bl-ack bags cascaded I ike a funnel>down from the top of i t . I 'm not sure who the art ist>was, but i ts br ight orange colo! was a recognizable> slmbol for the Sani lat ion workers, Perhaps a new> meaning was given to al t in t ines of t ragedy, one of> lesser pr ior i ty. Nonetheless I couldn' l decide> whether this work had become more or less imDortant> in this context,

> Sit t ing down with a hot meal and coffee, a l i t t le> 9o1f cart whizzed past with "morgue" painted in f lu-> orescent orange on the back window. Al l that I could> do was look at my fr iend next to me and let out a> gr in, I am not sure i f i t was the strange juxtaposi-> t ion or sleep depravat ion that made me do i t . what-> ever i t was nade hin do i t too. I t was a beaut i ful> morning at a place that resembled the most unl ikely> resort .

> Farther north you come to a makeshif t nal-1 or as i t>was cal led here the "FLEA MARKET". At this str ip a> weary worker coul-d shop fo! a new pair of boots> (rubber melted quite rapidly at the pi t) , T-shir ts.) shoe insoles, hygienic products, a l i t t le of every-> thing. These stores were more f ike f lanchises to the>main store, which was located"on the perimeter of> town. Dotted along this str ip mal l were smal l food>vendors, usual ly with snacks. One day however I saw> a bunch of brownies made by elementary school- chi l -> dren wrapped in notes and poems to those aiding in> the rel ief . For the rescue people, these snal l> lokens did wonders fo! their nind, as weII as their> stomachs. This mal l wrapped alound the contour of> the water and had a strange resemblance to a tour ist> bureau that one night encounter at any port of t rav-> el .

> Acloss the way from the Freedon caf6 in the harbor>was docked the "SPIRIT CRUISE LINE", another unl ike-> Iy sight for a disasler. whi le> walking along the promenade to this boat one would> cone to many serv- ice kiosks to get your boots, hands> and eyes washed. The boat as most people knov is a> party and dinner boat that a New Yorker sees on a> regular basj-s. Placed in this context one fu1ly> real izes what a truly great ci ty this is. On the> f i rst level is a bar with juice, catorade, water,> and coffee. A hot buffet l ine was set in both the> front and the back of the boat, along with tables> inside and on the outside decks. People eat ing whi le> {atching the smoldering wreckage on the deck was> hard to grasp, but somehow strangely romant. ic.

> Ihere were nult ip le counselors, therapists and car-> ing volunteers, test ing the troops' mental stabi l i -> ty, with their eyes wide open for the f i rst s ign of> a breakdown coning on. I , ly favori te was the blonde> wonan from England who was always seen si t t ing on a> lap or two, insist ing on talk ing about. t 'he f i rst> thing that popped up. I l ike to refer to her as the .

>Mari lyn Monroe of the disaster rel ief . I t was amaz-

> Leaving the nain center of the si te and :ai : : : : ->way back to the outskir ts of " town", I :c:- :+: :

> smal l park that was tucked away fron the -- : : i : : :>concrete. coing inside was l ike walk inc : : - - : :

- :>ter wonderland at f i rst , unt i l the !ea::--- i : : . - - :>was witnessing turned my calm into despa::- : : : : :>olnate trees were woven baskets vi th si :a:3: : i>papers strewn throughout thei ! l inbs. : :e .E-: .a:> bui ldings shredded hundreds of thousands : i : : , : - -> ments and sent them bi l loving down upor. -- : , : : : - - : :) L j . t t le scraps in tegalese and corporate _: : -_:_:

> seemed to be giving out an SOS cal l o! . - : .s -- : r> had actual ly happened. These l i t t le vo:ces -- : : : u) once so lalge and powerful wele now hl lg-€ a:- : : :)The grounds wele covered in th ick laye:s: : j - - :

)dust mixed with this encrypted infonai:c:- . ; : -- :)halogens coning through the branches I r . :

- - : :)see any sl ight movement, but nothing more:. : - : : :)was a direct separat ion of earth and skl i .

> Ihree blocks north I leturn to Stuyvesa:-- : : ; :) School . This compound is a special p lace, : : : : - -)more so for the rescue workers who needs: _-:

; : --)away from the pi t . I t 's on the outski t :s : : ' : : - -a>central" but wi th in l imi ts. I t has a p: : : : : - : - - :\ i ts charter was enacted by a group of c:r : - : - ; :)unteers who got past the guards at the:€: :1--_:> transforned i t into a twenty-four hour aa:a:a:: :>tr iage, and supply/c lothing center, s: : : -

- : : : - :+ it showers, and cots. Going up the stairs : e:- : : - - : :) massage tables that are occupied by bo--:

- : - :>beast. The best recipients for massage ie: : : i : :) cue dogs i j-n the course of a week I sa'i

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)Shepard's melt into subnission, by a f : :e:- : -1 :1/ r r r9 n 'dsscuscr

> Ihere are so nany drawj-ngs and cards talpi :a _:€

> wal ls and colums, al l nost ly in crayon . :-- : : ,) of f i re and pol icemen. There is one tha-- =--: : - r) in my mind that was disturbing but hones-- . : : : -E>magic narker and red crayon are an ina-ce:: : . - _-

) ers on f i re and running up the side of c:-= : : - - :+) word KABOOM and running down the othe! o:€ :r> KABLA.I',.

> cont inuing down the hal l you enter the de?:.- iE:-->store of ground zero, the most popular D-=:: : : :> to hang out at between shif ts. I t was p::- . : - ' .z by an t t t ract ive group of young women i . -- : , -===-->pe!sonal i t ies that would br ighten the rea:: . : - - : i :> This was the f i rst place one woul-d coBe -- . . : -- : :>returning f lom the pi t , whethe! to sho6e:, . : - ;e>clotbes, or to just let of f some sted 5e:: : : : : :) ner. There {as always a need to talk airc:_- : : : : i_-) experiences that they had encountered. Sc:€ a: -- : ,>stor ies woul-dn' t be bel ievable i f thei ! :=:E=

- :>bodies were not attached. one man, who :a: r . --+:>own business in Coney Is land, to ld ne a s-- :a- . : :) he was paying taxes to the ci ty in one -- :- ;e: - . : : :> his brother was in the next toser payj, . ! r : - : : : : r=)whi le i t col tapsed. He had never Left a: . . i . :

-> searching now for seventy-two hours wi_-:c: : =-- :>This molning he had found a l i t t ]e gir : : : : - - : - - - , ->her teddy bear, He said sbe fooked so pe3:e: : - :s\she was ls leep. t le said her skin was

"- : : . .===*=

>they took a l i t t1e bi t of water and a:a-s, : : : r :> her of f .

> There was this nan fron Pennsylvania rbo -- ,- : ---?> Rottvei ler rescue dogs. I saw hin one rc: :- : : --- r :=l) he was l inpj .ng. He told ne that he had : :s-- :+:) lowered one hundred and f i f ty feet into a :a:r : :)wi th one of h is dogs strapped to his ches-- . .1*- - ->he saw were heads and torsos, on the rav aaai : :\knee got r ipped on a girder. t te said t i : i - - : - : : : :>been interviewed by a nevs agency, and o: : : i : - -=>vision they had asked hin i f there vas hc!€- := --\ne that he couldn' t bel ieve that they da: i : =;r :) that quest ion. and forced hin to I ie.

) I t has now been fou! weeks since I was a_- G::- :) Zero. I feel a vulnerabi l i ty that I did :-c-- : r ;E:>ence before. This al ternate real i ty tha! : . - : rd) I iv ing in is the one I f ind hard to accep: .s =j) I i fe. On the " inside", I found securi ty a:.c : :E: ') ment and no desire to look past the barr:e:a -- :a-->held me in. So many l ives ended that day, : : : i : - -) that so nany l ives changed. Things that se:s -- : .cei) for granted took on a whole new neaning, a:.c =i*) f luous thoughts that used to occupy my ni : i - .=: :> discarded. Maintaining a sense of sol idar i : i : : : l) t .hese t- ines of paranoia and thleat becohe : :-a: .a:-) ingly necessary, as both "worlds" have nof E:uE>helpless. Much larger issues are now al s- .a ie,) issues that none of us seem to have anv co.- : : : -) over.

)As I valk along downtown Broadway I not ice sac-, :) di f ferent, sonething I have not seen befole, -- :=)most beaut i ful sunset over downtown Manhat--a:. : --> as i f the sky i tsetf opened up and expandec :-- :) I ight in a new way. I d not f i l i l iar * i th -- :e=:)colors and intensi t ies at th is t ime of day. : :e => shines through this void created by destruc--: . : - ,\ i t 's i ronic yet i t f i l ls me and pushes i tse-:) through me. I t has been yeals s ince this se---- : : ;) existed. and I know i t wi l l be years before : : :a) be truty appreciated.

'a- .^

. . - . ' . ' : ) f suppl i es came by the t ruckl oads , they' : : : - : - : rom al l over the country and with every-: : . : : -e th ing. Those not al lowed to go deep into. : : : . s imply unloaded the suppl ies on to the: : : r : Nighway, leaving i t up to whomever decided

:: . : :narge at that moment to distr ibute them. No

- . : : . :motely prepared for the am0unt of work

. : : : ' : i rg, d jstr ibut ing dnd stor ing donated sup-' : : ^ : , - l involve.

l r .

. : . : : into a s i tuat ion where the vast major i ty of: : - : : .gonists were male, wi th a s l ight doubt of: : : ! :Juld expect. Firemen, Pol icemen, l '4 i l i tary: , : - : : r !ct i0n workers were hardly the type of: : : - wcul d choose to mi ngl e wi th. Coul d I put' : . " t i . gazes dnd d's"espectfJ l commenLs thdt- : : : : .esent i n ni nd, i n my memOri es of the-: : : : ' wor ld? There was no such thing as a normalr : : ' . . -cre, th is was an extraordinary s i tuat i0n:-- ' . . no choice but to be a part of i t .

: . . . r teer, I wdlked i r resolved Lo help out, to:- : : :st that I could in th is unusual s i tuat ion,' - - . , do pl 'ys 'ca- ldbo. and casr aside dny Lype: ' : : : .cept ions. A week before, I had been simply

:r : - : . . - three year old wi th her whole l i fe ahead of' . - ' .d emphasi zed to a f r i end how safe I fe l t i n' : r ' : , / of ta l l bui ld ings, that were l ike armsc' : : ' ' ; me and lookjng over me. Now, my sense of: - - : . . had been shattened, the f ragi l i ty of l j fe- : : : , . :cn me. I t d idn' t seem fair , I was too young

-: , : !o feel that , but those thoughts were sel f -- - - a ls st j l l here, so mdny were not; future:- : ' : longer seemed important as what I could do

: ' : : resent. I was grateful that I was al lowed to.-- 'a"ae. even i f in a remote way to the rescue ofF:- : : rd to hel p those cope wi th the shock and

:- r ' ' j r tat i ous sni I e and wi th genuj ne c0ncern i n' : ' , r ,he perfect t -shi r t or pai r of b0ots for an' : - : : :a sad looking f ' j reman, I t r ied to make them'. : :

- ;out death i f only for an instant. To remjnd

:- : ' : t thejr col leagues did not die jn vain, that. - , r ' :C saving people and that we are st j l l here: " : . :ed them more than ever. They are strong: ' . : ,31s, those to whom the ent i re c i ty is look; -a

-a. The respect wds mutual ; they were appre-

: : ' . : r f ny help and of my presence, which to me: - ,

^ :y of thanking them.

' . - : :op1e talk ing; I hear i t on TV, a longing' : - - : previous l i fe, for th ings to return to:-- : " ' . But I don' t want them to, I hdve real izedr - ; ' . e I used to be, how comfortabl e and sel f -: : - : : : I was, I want to make this understanding

From, olivierfinn@hotmai[.comTo',ar'@addicttabcom

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From: awalkerS@nyc.rr.comTo, heddergto@hotmait.com

Af{f{L t f r L I FhDate: Mon, 1 2 Nov 2001 08,09,1 9ATIACHMENTS, Part i.2.

From, your nameTo' jan@addicttab.com

T ruh l { r ! ,1 rDate, Fri. 2l Dec 2001 02,09,19ATTACHMENTS, none

)) I f you want to cont inue this project , we're not

)) ht tp : / /www. addi ct l ab. com/docs/NYproject . html

stopping you.0n the contrary.1, , /e welcome your ideas on our

From, heddergto@hotmai[.com

To, ideas@addictlab.com

lwd:::: : i t : : I i : :" ' r 'ri D"t" , Mon.26 Nov 2001 12,00,05/ aTIAcH[,tENTSfartlI

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