the number 1 problem people have with their boss _ bernard marr _ linkedin

4/24/2015 TheNumber1ProblemPeopleHaveWithTheirBoss|BernardMarr|LinkedIn

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TheNumber1ProblemPeopleHaveWithTheirBoss

Apr22,2015 463,772 1,870 367

AccordingtoastudybytheNationalBusinessResearchInstitute,thenumber1problempeoplereporthavingwiththeirbossormanagerisalackofcommunication.Fromthereport:

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Ithinkoneofthethingsemployeesdislikethemostisthelackofcontextthattheiremployersprovide,saidHeidiGorman,CMOofCapitalHGroup.BythatImeanmanyemployeesdonotgetenoughinformationfromtheiremployerstohaveanswerstobasicquestionslike,Whatsreallyexpectedofme?,Howwillmyperformancebejudged?andHowdoeswhatIdo,dayinanddayout,helptheoverallcompanyachieveitsgoals?Itisimportantforallemployees,regardlessofwhattheydo,tohavetheseessentialquestionsansweredbecauseitgivesasenseofmeaningtotheirwork.

Onereasonthatcommunicationproblemsaresorampantisbecausetheyareongoing,asopposedtosingleevents.Whencommunicationfails,employeestendtodrawbackandbecomeafraidtoaskquestionsorspeakupwhentheyforeseeaproblem.

Inshort,ifyouwantopencommunicationfromyouremployeeswhenitmatters,youneedtomodelthebehavioryourself.Hereareafewsuggestionstogetstarted:

1. Shareyourknowledge.Whetheritsaboutachangethecompanyismakingoraclientyouveworkedwithbefore,beproactiveaboutsharinginformationwithyourteam.Mostemployeesaremuchbetterabletorollwiththepuncheswhentheyunderstandthereasoningbehindwhatshappening.

2. Engageinsmalltalk.Youmaythinksmalltalkiscounterproductiveatwork,butemployeesaremorelikelytotrustyouiftheyfeelliketheyknowyou.Inquiringabouttheirfamilies,hobbies,orinterestsinagenuinewayisagoodwaytofostertrustandmoreopencommunication.

3. Listenmoretalkless.Therearetwomajorcomponentsofeffectivecommunicationandoneofthemislisteningyetitsoftenoverlookedasamanagementskill.Tryactivelisteningwhereyouparaphraseandrepeatbackwhattheotherpersonhasjustsaid.Itnotonlygivesthemtheopportunitytoclarifyifyouvemisunderstoodsomething,butitalsoforcesyoutolistentothem,insteadofthinkingabouthowyouplantorespond.

4. Thinkaboutcommunicationspreferences.Youprobablyalreadyknowthatsomeofusarevisuallearnersandsome



auditorylearners,butthatextendswelloutsidetheclassroom.Someemployeeswilldojustfinetalkingaboutcomplexissues,whileotherswillprefertohavetheconversationoutlinedinwriting.Ifyoucandiscovereachemployeespreference,youcanensureyourereachingoutinawaytheyllunderstand.

5. Keepfeedbackconstructive.Ifemployeesfeelconstantlyunderattackorcriticism,theymaybereluctanttoopenthelinesofcommunicationforanyreason.Practiceofferingconstructivefeedbackpairedwithpraise,andalwaysremembertoonlycriticisetheact,nevertheperson.

Onefinalbonustip:neverstoppracticing.Youmaythinkyoureastellarcommunicatoruntilfacedwithanemployeewhosecommunicationstyleiscompletelydifferentfromyourown,oryoufindyourselfinastressfulsituation.Keepseekingoutwaystolearn,practice,andimproveyourcommunicationsskillstobeoneoftheworkforcesbelovedbosses,ratherthanoneofthedreadedones.

Whatareyourbesttipsforimprovingcommunicationsskills?Idloveforyoutosharetheminthecommentsbelow.

Thankyouforreadingmypost.Iregularlywriteaboutmanagement,technologyaswellasthemegatrendthatisBigDataforLinkedInandForbes.Ifyouwouldliketoreadmyregularpoststhenpleaseclick'Follow'andfeelfreetoalsoconnectviaTwitter,FacebookandTheAdvancedPerformanceInstitute.

HerearesomeotherrecentpostsIhavewritten:

CareerChoicesYouWillRegretIn20Years

TheOneThingSuccessfulPeopleNeverDo

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The25KPIsEveryManagerNeedstoKnow

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toBeMoreConfident,andThisIsItApr23,2015 250,392 1,295 277

Confidenceisnotsomethingyoueitherhaveoryoudon't.

Takeme.StickmeonabicycleatalocalgrouprideandI'mconfident.I'mselfassured.IfeellikeIbelong(which,ifyouthinkaboutit,isanicedefinitionofconfidence.)

Butstickmeonabicycleatagranfondosurroundedbythefastguysandsuddenlyeverythingchanges.I'minstantlyshyandinsecure.Ifeellikeaverysmallfishwayoutofhiswater.

Unfortunatelyformeandmaybeforyouconfidenceismuchmoresituationalthanabsolute.Insomesettingwe'reselfassuredinothers,notsomuch.

That'sprobablynatural...andthat'sprobablywhymanytipsforhowtofeelconfidentoftenfallshort.Muchofthatadvicecanbeboileddownto,"Youcanbeconfidentallyouhavetodoisdecidetobeconfident."

Evidentlyit'seasy:suppressnegativethoughtsandrepeatsomereallycoolselfaffirmingstatementsandvoila!I'mlikeDonaldTrump.

Ornot.

ABetterWaytoThinkAboutConfidence

AccordingtoDr.TomasChamorroPremuzic,aprofessorofbusinesspsychologyatUniversityCollegeLondonandauthoroftheoutstandingbookConfidence:OvercomingLowSelfEsteem,Insecurity,andDoubt,thereisanotherwaytolookatsupposedlyconfidencebuildingselftalk:

Forexample,ifyouarefeelingworthlessandtrytosuppressthosefeelings,youwillneverbeabletodowhatittakestoimprove.If,ontheotherhand,youcometo



termswithyournegativeselfviewsandacceptthefactthatyouarenotasgoodasyouwouldliketobeand,especially,thatyouareunhappywithyourself,youwillbeabletofocusonwhatyouneedtodotoimprove.

Dissatisfactionisthemotherofchange,andonlychangecandriveimprovement.

Thechoicebetweenthetwooptionsisanobrainer.Deliberateattemptstoincreaseyourconfidenceareboundtoresultinfailureanddemoralizeyou,whereasattemptstoimproveyourperformancecanresultinnotjustcompetencegainsbutalsoagenuineboosttoyourconfidence.Theanswertothequestion,"WhatshouldIdoaboutmylowconfidence?"canhardlybesimpler:

Embraceit.

Thinkaboutit.Lackofconfidenceisn'ttheproblemlackofconfidenceisactuallythemeanstoasolution.Whenyouactuallyacceptyourweakpoints,yourflaws,andyourimperfections,thenyoucanmotivateyourselftomakechangesandimprove.

Inshort,hidefromyourweaknessesandyou'llalwaysbeweak.Acceptyourweaknessesandthenworktoimprovethemandyou'lleventuallybestrongerandmoreconfident.

Sowhatistheonlyrecipeforfeelingmoreconfident?

Success.

Improvementbreedsconfidence.Competencebreedsconfidence.Successinyourfield,orsometimesinanypursuitbreedsconfidence.

Takemeagain.YearsagoIwasinvitedtospeaktoanaudienceofaroundathousandpeople.Awesome,right?Well,maybenot.Ihadneverspokentoanaudiencelargerthanabout150peoplebefore.PlusIwasaskedtospeakonatopicIdidn'tknowthatmuchabout.



Evenso,theopportunitywastoogoodtopassup...

...andIbombed.

Badly.

Oh,everyonetoldmeIdidfine.(Toaspeaker,beingtoldyouwere"fine"islikeateenagerbeingtoldyouhaveagoodpersonality.)Iwantedtobelievethem.Iwantedtoignoremyfeelingsofincompetence,disappointment,andfailure.

AndthenIrealizedIwouldnevergetbetterifIdidn't1)acceptthefactIhadfailedand2)workhardtoimprove.SoIwentbacktothedrawingboard.Iwrangledinvitationstolocalcivicgroups.Ispoketostudentsatlocalcolleges.IforcedmyselftospeakontopicsoutsidemywheelhousesoIcouldlearnthemechanicsofcraftingagreathookandagreatstory.SometimesIdidwell,sometimesIdidbadlybutovertimeIgainedskillandcompetence.

Andconfidence.

AmIstillnervousbeforeIstepoutinfrontofbigcrowds?Ohhellyeah.I'mahotmessofinsecurity.ButIcanworkthroughthosefeelingsnotbecauseIengageinalotofhappyhorse(manure)selftalkbutbecauseIknowI'vebeenthere,donethat,andcandoitagain.

I'mconfident,becauseIhavesuccessinmypocket.

YetI'malsoinsecureenoughtoalwayswanttogetbetter.

EvenUnrelatedSuccessHelps

Oddlyenough,successinonepursuityieldsgreaterconfidenceinotherareasoflife.

Backtomybicycleexample:ThefirstmajorgranfondoIrodewas100mileslongandincludedover11,000feetofclimbingoverfourmountains(twoofthoseclimbs



ondirt/gravelroads.)Itwaslong.Itwasendless.Itwasphysically(andwillpowery)harderthananythingIhadeverdone.ButIfinishedit.

AndevenweeksafterwardIgenerallyfeltmoreconfident.Iworriedlessaboutwhatpeoplethoughtofme.Ihaddonesomethinghuge,atleastformeanditliftedmeforalongtime.

That'sbecausewhileconfidencemaybesituational,somedegreeofconfidencecanalsospillover.Whenyoufeelgoodaboutyourselfinonewaywhenyouachievesomedegreeofsuccessinoneaspectofyourlifeyoutendtofeelbetteraboutotherpartsofyourlifeaswell.Afterall,ifyoucandoonethingwell,youcandolotsofthingswell.

Allyouhavetodoisworkatit.

HowtoBeMoreCompetentandThereforeMoreConfident

Soforgettheselftalkandpsychoanalysis.It'sallaboutaction.Here'sTomasagain:

Mostpeopleliketheideaofbeingexceptional,butnotenoughtodowhatittakestogetthere...everybodysaystheywanttobeslim,healthy,attractive,andrich,butfewpeoplearewillingtodowhatittakestoattainthosethings,whichsuggeststheydon'treallywantthosethingsasmuchastheysayorthink.

PaulArden,formercreativedirectorofSaatchi&Saatchi,sumsthisupnicelybyexplainingthattypicallywhenwesaywe"want"something,weactuallyjustmeanwewanttohaveit,butwithnoimplicitassumptionthatwe'rewillingtodoanyworktogetthere.Inreality,wantingsomethingshouldequatewithbeingpreparedtotakethenecessarystepstoachieveit.Ifyouareseriousaboutyourgoals,thenyouwilldowhateverittakestoattainthemyourconfidenceissecondary.

Whatmattersisthedesireyouhavetoattempttoachieveyourgoals.

Sodon'tsayyoulackconfidence.Allofuslackconfidence.Allofushaveinsecurities,doubts,fears...allofus.



Justpickagoal,agoalyoutrulywanttoachieve,andtakeacleareyedlookatyourweaknessesnotsoyou'llfeellessconfident,butsoyoucandetermineexactlywhatyouneedtoworkon.

Thengettowork.Celebratesmallsuccesses.Analyzeyourweaknesses.Keepgoing.

Asyougainskillyou'llalsogainafeelingofgenuineconfidence,onethatcanneverbetakenawaybecauseyou'veearnedit.

IalsowriteforInc.com:

10OrdinaryBeliefsofExtraordinarilySuccessfulPeople

HowtoBeMoreCharismatic:10Tips

10BodyLanguageSecretsofHighlySuccessfulPeople

9EssentialHabitsofExtremelyEffectivePeople

7ThingsRemarkablyHappyPeopleDoMoreOften

Checkoutmybookofpersonalandprofessionaladvice,TransForm:DramaticallyImproveYourCareer,Business,Relationships,andLifeOneSimpleStepAtaTime.(PDFversionhere,Kindleversionhere,Nookversionhere.)

Ifafter10minutesyoudon'tfindatleast5thingsyoucandotomakeyourlifebetterI'llrefundyourmoney.

Thatwayyouhavenothingtolose...andeverythingtogain.



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