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SpeedyAlka-Seltzer by Jim Cox

Nov / Dec 2O16 www.otrr.org 2766 Subscribers No.88

TheOldRadioTimesThe Official Publication of the Old-TimeRadioResearchers

Alka-Seltzer resulted after Hub Beardsley,nephew of founding associate Albert Beardsley,rose through the ranks of his uncle's businessfrom clerk (1890) to chairman of the board (1925).He engaged one of the outfit's chemists, MikeyWiseman, in transforming Nervine into an inno-vative combination that could be housed in aneffervescent capsule. But before Wiseman'swork had gone very far, Beardsley learned that,by merely consuming a liquid blend of bicarbon-ate of soda and aspirin, some journalists at TheElkhart Truth staved off all signs of colds. Whatif, he thought to himself, we could derive an effervescent aspirin-bicar-bonate of soda dosagein something like a pill?

After combining acetylsalicylic acid (aspirin),sodium bicarbonate (baking soda) and cit- ric acid, Wiseman and his associates createdsome large effervescent tablets. Mixed withwater, they produced carbon dioxide gas

(seltzer) as the acid and bicarbonate reacted robustly while dissolving. The ingested solutionoffered users a quick remedy for headache,heartburn and hangovers by treating their painwhile it neutralized excess stomach acid.

After conducting many tests, Miles' Alka-Seltzer went on the market in 1931. The prod- uct's "immediate and increasing success hadmuch to do with the repeal of prohibition," noted one corporate authority. "As the incidence ofhangovers increased, so did consumption ofAlka-Seltzer. Even today Alka-Seltzer remainsthe world's number one cure for the hangover."

Miles turned its new discovery into a goldmine by plugging it in multiple advertising media,including printed tracts and all the added promo-tional tools that rolled from its presses. Within afew months, nevertheless, advertising guruCharles Beardsley — yet another descendant ofone of the company's early fathers, a man

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away from aspirin-based cures to acetamino-phen- and ibuprofen-based pain relievers; (c) adisturbingly noticeable lackluster, dry, dusty savor.

As sales of Alka-Seltzer in its original formdiminished, Bayer HealthCare (the former nameof Miles Laboratories, Inc.) applied the instantlyidentifiable sobriquet to newly-cre-ated prepara-tions, like the common cold line of medicationsdubbed Alka-Seltzer Plus. Some of the cre-ations no longer carry aspirin as part of their in-gredients, nor are they any longer effervescent."This is because the billions of dollars buildingthe brand through advertising are still yieldingbenefits," claimed one source.

By the late 1970s, Miles' ethical drug sector,Dome Laboratories, introduced new wares fortreating allergies, skin disorders and mental ill-ness. In the meantime, although the founders' heirs continued to populate the company'sboard, beginning in 1977, outsiders assumedmuch more profound participation in running thedrug-maker. According to one historian: "In the 1970s the leadership of Miles Laboratories, ledby chairman Walter Ames Compton and pres- ident Rowland G. Rose, concluded that the cor-

man whose destiny would also include the firm's presidency — led Miles into an early radio buy.The syndicated Alka-Seltzer Comedy Stars of Hollywood in spring 1932 and the National BarnDance emanating from Chicago in NBC Blue inautumn 1933 were the first of numerous spon-sorships for Alka-Seltzer, "first aid for acid indi-gestion," in what would become a pervasiveaural presence.

Miles began tinkering substantially with thefocus of its product line in the 1960s through new product development, acquisitions and di-vestitures. Pursuing a new strategy in health care, it purchased Worthington Foods Company,a pioneer in developing vegetable protein substitutes, especially soybeans. In the late1960s and early 1970s, the firm introduced awide range of supplementary vitamins, includingsome for juveniles (Bugs Bunny, Chocks and Flintstones brands), to One-A-Day brand withminerals and iron, on the market without the extras since 1943.

A fifth of Miles' sales and a still higher per-centage of earnings were derived by the firm'sprofessional product group. That included diag-nostic agents and ethical drugs for treating allergies and skin conditions plus lab suppliesand electronic instruments. In the five-year period beginning in 1972, Miles' fortunes fell asconsumer product sales faltered, accounting for less than half the company's sales (they hadbeen responsible for 75 percent of sales in 1961). It was a difficult reality with Miles' flagshipAlka-Seltzer trademark suddenly underperform-ing expectations. There were reasons for this:(a) increasing medical awareness of the generalpublic, who realized it wasn't in their interest toingest a multi-symptom remedy without havingall of the symptoms it treated (like a headacheand an upset stomach); (b) a growing trend

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poration lacked adequate assets for growth,and they explored opportunities for joint ven-tures and mergers."? Out of the blue, Miles was abruptly faced with the prospect of a takeoverby the much larger Bayer AG of West Germany,fourth largest chemical manufacturer on theplanet.

Bayer's original North American commerce,situated in the United States and Canada, wasseized as enemy assets near the end of theFirst World War. Bayer AG's original posses- sions here were long gone, having been confis-cated and dispatched as adversarial substance by the U.S. government decades before. But in1978, the Leverkusen, Germany-based multi- national was prepared to start over. It pur-chased Miles Laboratories, Inc., and its auxiliaryunit, Miles Canada, plus Cutter Biologicals, yetanother Miles accessory that produced insect repellent and Factor VIII, a synthetic humanclotting solution for hemophiliacs. In acquiringMiles, Bayer AG reestablished its presence inthis hemisphere. Bayer ultimately paid almost$254 million for Miles, the costliest purchase in-volving a U.S. firm by an international pharma-

ceutical outfit to that date. "Analysts now agree that the Bayer takeover

was simply the most dramatic occurrence in agrowing industry trend of established Europeancompanies entering the U.S. market by acquir-ing medium-sized American companies," de-clared one business observer. "Rather thanbuild their own distribution systems, foreigncompanies save a great deal of trouble andmoney by buying American firms in the samebusiness that have already developed success-ful operations. While maintaining its identity,Miles Laboratories in Elkhart effectively becameBayer's headquarters for its U.S. pharmaceuti-cal operations."

Beginning in 1985, Miles' health care com-modities rose to the forefront, dominating all the subsidiary's other wares. By then, Bayer AGhad acquired a half-dozen additional Americanfirms with competing product lines. Yet it wasMiles Labs that unambiguously "remains themost prized of Bayer's acquisitions" wrote onereporter. Noting that a third of Miles' profitswere derived from international markets, thescribe added: "Its sales have grown impres-

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Queen for a Day, with Jack Bailey -1946 to1950, MBS (Alka-Seltzer) News of the World, with Morgan Beatty-1946-ca. 1958, NBC (Alka-Seltzer) Ladies Be Seated, with Johnny Olsen -1947 to1949, ABC (Alka-Seltzer and Tabcin - mul- tiple participation) Alka-Seltzer Time, with Herb Shriner and theRaymond Scott Quintet-1948 to 1949, CBS (Alka-Selrzer) Hilltop House-1948 to 1954, CBS (Alka-Seltzer,Bactine, Miles Nervine, One-A-Day, Tabcin) The Curt Massey-Martha Tilton Show-1949 to1954, CBS, MBS (Alka-Seltzer) One Man's Family-1950 to 1954, NBC (Alka-Seltzer, Tabcin, Bactine, One-A-Day, Miles Nervine) Break the Bank, with Clayton "Bud" Collyer -1953 to 1955, NBC, MBS (Alka-Seltzer) Just Plain Bill-1954 to 1955, NBC (Alka-Seltzer)

sively since the takeover." Miles was also strate-gically placed to market an extensive line ofBayer derivatives. "For now, at least, neithermanagement nor investors can quarrel withMiles' impressive performance and Bayer's verysatisfying profit margins," another assessmentread.

The holding firm transferred its Americanheadquarters to Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, in 1992, when it merged Miles with a half-dozenother U.S. interests acquired by Bayer. The new name was Miles, Inc., but it, too, was livingon borrowed time. In 1995, the Miles nomencla-ture was totally abolished from all commodities,physical plants and other markings. Bayer AGhad acquired Sterling Winthrop in 1994, manu-facturing Bayer aspirin in North America. Itthereby reclaimed the rights to its own nameand trademarks as well as to Bayer aspirin. Radio Series Alka-Seltzer Comedy Stars of Hollywood,with Franklin Brown, Kay LaValle, The King'sMen-1932 to 1934, Syndication (Alka-Seltzer) National Barn Dance, with Joe Kelly-1933 to1946, NBC Blue, NBC (Alka-Seltzer) Uncle Ezra's Radio Station, aka Sunday Afternoon in Rosedale, with Pat Barrett -1934to 1939, NBC (Alka-Seltzer) Alec Templeton Time-1939 to 1941, NBC(Alka-Seltzer) The Quiz Kids, with Joe Kelly-1940 to 1951,NBC Blue, NBC, Blue, ABC (Alka-Seltzer) Lum and Abner, with Chester Lauck and NorrisGoff-1941 to 1948, NBC Blue, Blue, ABC, CBS (Alka-Seltzer, Miles Nervine, Bactine, One-A-Day, Tabcin) News of the World, with John W Vandercook-1941 to 1946, NBC (Alka-Seltzer) The Roy Rogers Show, with Pat Buttram andDale Evans -1946 to 1947, NBC (Alka-Seltzer)

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Fibber McGee & Molly, with Jim and MarianJordan -1955 to 1956, NBC (Alka-Seltzer, Tabcin) The Woman in My House-1955 to 1957, NBC(Alka-Seltzer, Tabcin, One-A-Day, Miles Nervine, Bactine) Exposition Miles Laboratories, Inc., applied a pervasive for-mula to its radio advertising, much as it did inthe patent medicines it manufactured. All of itsshows touted Alka-Seltzer in at least one com-mercial and often in multiple pitches. But beforemost of the firm's series left the air each day orweek, in a closing plug — commonly branded bybroadcasting as a hitchhike commercial — Milesrotated in one of its other "fine, dependableproducts": Bactine antiseptic, Miles Nervine anx-iety calmative, One-A-Day multiple vitamins orTabcin antihistamine cold tablets were the mostcommon in these concluding spots.

"The common denominator of both the com-pany's radio and subsequent television com- mercials has been humor — memorable andamusing jingles for radio, exaggerated and often hilarious depictions of the 'before and after' Alka-Seltzer patient for television," wrote one reviewer. As has been noted, Miles Laboratorieswasn't hesitant about spending money to increase its presence on the ether, having done

so from the early 1930s to the latter days of its enveloping impact as Miles' reputation as adrug manufacturer increased. Its innovations in broadcast advertising, particularly for Alka-Seltzer, created these unforgettable taglines to all who saw or heard them in repeated airings: I can't believe I ate the whole thing! Mama mia, that's some spicy meatball! Try it, you'II like it! Plop, plop ... fizz, fizz ... oh, what a relief it is!

Each expression was summarily adopted byAmerican radio listeners and TV viewers and added to the nation's omnipresent everydayvernacular. Subsequently, Alka-Seltzer cele-brated its 75th anniversary on March 28, 2006,with a record-setting buffet featuring more than500 dishes. The event was staged at the HiltonHotel in Las Vegas and infused the product with some needed promotion reminiscent of its ear-lier years.

One of the most imaginative creations ofMiles' numerous forays into ad campaigns resulted when commercial artist Bob Watkinsand advertising account executive Chuck Ten- nant, of the Miles business at Chicago's WadeAdvertising, combined their ideas. The pair hadbeen buddies during the Second World War.When they coalesced, the result (which report-

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sound and sight of dual tablets hitting the water.It worked on radio about as effectively as it didon TV for you could hear the twin substancesstriking the H20 before the fizz began.

In another dimension, the popular OneMan's Family (1932 to 1959) radio series —which originated as a weekly prime time dramaand finished its ethereal career as a daytimeserial-proffered numerous premium hooks overits lifetime. Offers were frequently mentioned onthe air for cookbooks, flower seed packets, pho-tographs, diaries, sheet music, record albums and scrapbook recollections of the infamousBarbour family's past. Listeners could receive "one of these cherished mementoes for yourvery own" by dispatching a label from one of

edly took only three hours to produce) was acaricature figure that was to sell billions of boxesand bottles of the bicarbonate preparation thathad already made Miles renowned and prosper-ous in previous decades. Speedy Alka-Seltzer,exhibiting a tablet-emblem body complete withhat and effervescent wand, initially turned up inthe slick women's magazines during the springof 1952. While he sang his little heart out onradio commercials-actually, it was pint-sizedactor Dick Beals speaking; Beals had launchedhis career on radio's The Lone Ranger a fewyears earlier — possibly not until the characterappeared on scads of TV commercials did main-stream Americans begin to seriously interactwith him. In a decade, 1954 to 1964, the littleanimated fellow adorned 212 commercials, mak-ing more than 20 debuts a year.

When Alka-Seltzer began to fall out of favorwith the younger drug buyers as the 1960s wore on, some imaginative thinking was elicitedto reverse the ebbing fortunes of a brand thathad "become the symbol of people who dranktoo much and ate too much." Employing (Jack)Tinker & Partners advertising think tank, Milesunderwrote a new campaign offering reasons forpeople to use Alka-Seltzer, To get that across, thefirm exhibited some amusing new commercials.

For one thing, at Tinkers' suggestion, sales ofthe product increased sharply when users wereinstructed to drop two tablets in a glass of water.While revenues didn't double, there was a dramatic shift of fortune attributable tothat hint. The emphasis was fortified with thecatchy, enduring jingle Plop, plop ... fizz, fizz ...oh, what a relief it is! If audiences hadn't gottenthe message before, the thought that anyonehad ever used anything less than two Alka- Seltzer tablets at one time was now anathema— erased from public consciousness by the

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One Man’s Family

the underwriter's advertised commodities ac-companied by a dime or a quarter (as inflationstruck). More than a half-million requests pouredin for copies of Teddy's Diary, reportedly in herown handwriting, in 1937, underscoring thevalue of such promotions in getting people totune in and, more importantly, buy the adver-tised product. Jack's Camera Scrapbook wasanother popular premium.

Such enthusiasm for a trinket representing afavorite audio series didn't abate with the passage of time, surprisingly. Miles Laborato-ries, Inc., which paid the bills for a quadrennium (1950 to 1954), experienced its endgame fullforce, too. When Father Barbour's printed legacyto each member of his family, This I Give, waspitched on the broadcast of March 23, 1953, andfor several installments thereafter — after theseries had been airing for more than twodecades — tens of thousands of Bactine box-tops accompanied by quarters arrived at theElkhart offices of Miles Labs. There was littledoubt that One Man's Family was still riding thecrest of enormous fan loyalty, no matter thatradio's lifeblood was draining away freely insome jurisdictions. Miles had a particular knackfor picking features that the listeners adored.

And the sponsor liberally exploited them untilthe wheels of network radio figuratively fell offthe track. Commercial

For more than 13 years (1947 to 1960),radio actor Sandy Becker was the authoritative voice of CBS Radio's Young Doctor Malone. Asthe calm, reassuring medical practitioner, he appeared to dispense psychological advicemore often than he did prescriptions on that en-during daytime serial. By the early 1950s,nonetheless, the versatile Becker also addedhawking Alka-Seltzer "and other fine, depend-able products made by Miles Laboratories" tohis resume. On that occasion, he returned tothe CBS microphones weekday afternoons asthe interlocutor for the longrunning HilltopHouse underwritten by Miles.

There, perhaps ironically, the same fellowwho had been playing doctor 90 minutes before was meting out advice about calming stomachindigestion and other maladies for the leviathan drug-maker. It must have seemed a tad bizarreto anyone realizing it was the same guy. Did the Miles marketers think Becker's superior cre-dentials as a respected "physician" added impe- tus to his ability for them? That may be too much

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a stretch although it could actually be true. Here's one of those Hilltop House openings,from the broadcast of July 16, 1953. NETWORK CUE: (bong) SANDY BECKER: Alka-Seltzer first aid for therelief of headaches, acid indigestion, and muscular aches and pains. INTERLUDE: (a few bright organ notes ascend-ing the scale) SANDY BECKER: (music under) Alka-Seltzer ...brings you ... Hilltop House. THEME: "Lullaby" by Brahms, on organ and xylophone SANDY BECKER: This is Sandy Becker, re-minding you that warm weather menus may change from heavy pot roasts to light tossed sal-ads ... from freshly baked pies to chilled melons. Yet ... hot weather can still tempt youinto eating unwisely ... and the result can be ...acid indigestion. So how's your Alka-Seltzer sup-ply, ladies? Remember, speedy Alka-Seltzer forrelief when acid indigestion comes along. LetAlka-Seltzer help you feel better ... fast. Alka-Seltzer has instant alkalizing action ... to reduceexcess acidity in the stomach in a hurry ... andto ease that uncomfortable feeling. And Alka-Seltzer is soothing and settling to an acid upsetstomach. It works with gentle action. So next time you're uncomfortable with after-meal acid indigestion, try a glass of sparkling,tangy Alka-Seltzer for fast relief. One or twotablets dissolve in a glass of water to make a re-freshing effervescent solution. It's pleasant totake, too really refreshing. So, get a package ofAlka-Seltzer from your druggist. And then when unwise eating causes acid indigestion ... be wise... alkalize ... with Alka-Seltzer, INTERLUDE: (a few bright organ notes ascend-ing the scale) SANDY BECKER: (music under) And now ...Hilltop House. Bridge Music

This has been an excerpt from Jim’s book“Sold on Radio”. About the Book

How was it that America would fund its nas-cent national radio services? Government con-trol and a subscription-like model were bothconsidered! Soon an advertising system emerg-ed, leading radio into its golden age from the1920s to the early 1960s.

This work, divided into two parts, studies thecommercialization of network radio during itsgolden age. The first part covers the generalhistory of radio advertising. The second exam-ines major radio advertisers of the period, withprofiles of 24 companies who maintained astrong presence on the airwaves.

Appendices provide information on 100 addi-tional advertisers, unusual advertisement for-mats, and a glossary. The book has notes anda bibliography and is fully indexed.About the Author

Jim Cox, a leading radio historian, is anaward-winning author of numerous books onthe subject. A retired college professor, he livesin Louisville, Kentucky.

The book can be purchased from McFarlandwww.mcfarlandpub.com

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The 5th RevisedUltimateHistory of Network Radio

Programming &Guide to all Circulation Shows

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Ever feel like pushing yourselfunder the rug when your tonguetripped, slipped or balked an turn-ed up with a neat little phrase younever should have uttered? Orhopelesly myfted an important in-troduction, or stuttered on the snap-py comeback that should havepanicked your dinner guests?

Then you can readily sympa-thize with the poor announcer oractor who suddenly finds himselfpulling what he is sure must beradio’s prize slip everyone on theair—and novice, star and bit play-er — makes his share of "fluffs."The phenomenon can't be explain-ed any more a logically than trip-ping on a sidewalk or spilling aglass of water on your vest. Slipsjust happen and no amount of re-hearsal and preparation can guar-antee they won't.

Sometimes, the result of ajumbled phrase causes the listen-er to howl with far greater gleethan could be induced by profes-sional gag-writers after a week ofburning the midnight oil. Whilemost of the quips are innocentlyhumorous, some of them havesent the perpetrators off into acorner blushing furiously, whilecensors gnawed their blue pencilsin futile indignation. Like the timethat perhaps we’d better not gointo that one!

High on the list of funniesttwisted tongue lines is which oc-curred during the broadcast of an

NBC soap opera. The harras-sued heroine was aboard a shipriding a dense fog. In a voicewith menial, she proclaimed toher coast-to-coast her coats au-dience that the fog was "thick assea poop."

Another momentarily unhappyperformer was the young manplaying the part of an aidede-camp to a German general onMutual’s Nick Carter. Said thegeneral: ' "We are surroundedon all sides by the enemy theycome from the left, from theright—from the east, west, northand south — and we withoutfood and water!" The aide wassupposed to exclaim: "Is it that

bad?" Instead, the luckless actorfound himself burbling:Is that had ?"

Then, of course, there was thedramatic actress, appearing on aCBS serial, whose simple line.We'll give the bell a pull, cameout unexpectedly "We'll give thebull a pill !" And young Bill Lipton,who has appeared in hundreds ofroles since his air debut at the ageof 11 admonished a fellow actor insoap opera to "Keep a stuff upperlup, old boy.'

It isn’t always the players whosupply unintentional humor in thedramatic shows tlhe boys in thesound effects department canclaim their share of the scallionsfor fluffs and pour timing. Many

Slips that pass through the mikeThe best performers made fluffs — but listeners loved it!

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an overworked producer and di-rector has spent sleepless nightsplaning all sorts of medieval tor-tures to inflict on the haplesssound effects man who ruined adramatic scene.

On one occastion the breath-less lovers in a popular soap operawere supposed to whisper theirwords of endearment against asoft, light background of summerbreeze. The director signalled forhis "light breeze' but the soundman―evidently in a slight state ofconfusion― obliged with a gale ofhurricane proportions. The younglovers were actually drowned outby the sound of nature run wild.

Then there was the time theplot called for the sound of surfbeating against the rocks. Whatthe listeners heard, instead, was arecording of a crowd cheering theplayers at a football game. Theocean waves are said to whispermany things. This was probablythe first time in history that theyroared out: "Hold That line"

While most of the blunders giveits listeners a chuckle, maybeeven a hearty guffaw, some pro-duce reactions of a far differentnature. Picture for example, whatthe charming ladies of the MaryMargaret McBride circle musthave thought, on the day their idolblandly proclaimed: "A lot of thingsyou are supposed to eat, you justdon't like especially children"

Nervous contestants on thequiz shows and amateur programsare responsible for as goodly shareof radio’s fluffs. A Mrs. O’Leary,

appearing an Phil Baker's "TakeIt or Leave It," proudly acknowl-edged her introduction by stating:"I'm a first cousin to the cow thatstarted the Chicago Fire."

An amateur musician, describ-ing the wonders of his homemadecontraption to Major Bowes, gavethe CBS audience a macabrethought when he said: ''The spoonsbelong to me the bones are myfather's!" Presumably, the ''bones''in question were those ivory orwooden clappers once wieldedso enthusiastically by the end-man in minstrel show-- but howwere enthralled dialers to guessthat listening in ?

Another night, the Major waschatting with one of his amateurswho was a decorator. Askedabout this work, the contestantnervously admitted that he hadjust finished over-doing an apart-ment." On yet another occasiona Russian girl told the Major thather father was a painter. "Housepainter?" he asked. "Just mine,"answer- ed the little Russian girl.

But even the seasoned perform-ers cannot void the pitfall of gar-bled phrases. Erudire veteranMilton Cross, for instance, onceintrigued music lovers all overthe nation by describing the op-eretta. "The Prince of Pilsen," as"The Pill of Princeton."

When this global war endssome sort of medal should bestruck off and presented to thenews reporters who have spentthe past five years rolling theirtonsils around the names of Pol-ish, Russian and Japanesetowns and generals. While theboys in the news room don't al-ways agree on pronuncation theyhave done a creditable job in giv-ing the listener a nodding acquain-tance with some of the more in-discriminately-voweled namesaround the world. And, if they dostumble over a few, who doesknow the difference?

But other accidents can hap-pen on the news circuits, whichno dialer could fail with either sur-prise or amusement. John Van-

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dercook was once involved in amix-up over locale, during hisnightly world news roundup. Inmaking a switch, he an- nouncedsaid: We take you now to JohnMcVane in London." After a shortpause came the blithe greeting:"This is John McVane, speakingfrom Paris.

Occasionally, the overseasreporter gets a personal shockhimself--or her self--as the dayBob Denton was announcing aHelen Hiett broadcast from Spain."Miss Hiett," said he, is NBC'sthough Bob won’t admit, it he mayhave been playing amateur criticon another occasion, when heproudly presented a "pewgram ofmosic.

Even the weather proves astumbling block once in a while.NBC's George Putnam (now inservice) capped one of his newsprograms with the daily weatherreports. Most of the items this par-ticular day had been of Chineseand Japanese origin, so maybe theaudience felt that George was justkeeping in character when he pre-dicted: " Tornorrow moderate tem-peratures incleasing cloudiness"

Reporting the war on the otherside of the globe, Frank Singiserdescribed a certain well-remem-bered German drive and gave hisMutual followers an added treatby calling the story of the "HulgianBelch." And listeners to the samenetwork found themselves beingintroduced one night to Paul Schu-bert, "the newted nose analyst."

Out on the West Coas where

almost anything can happenand usually does--a Hollywoodnews voice breathlessly inform-ed his cinema city listeners that"Johnny Weissmuler's wife,Beryl Scott, presented him withan eight-pound baby boy todayand now for other sportingevents.

Gabriel Heatter's several mil-lion listeners heard him wind up abroadcast one evening with theportentous sentence: Listen toThe Voice of the Dead followedimmediately with the introduction:"And now, ladies and gentlemen,announcer Len Sterling."

Life can be terrible when anannouncer Buffs at a particularlyserious moment. If you don't thinkso, just ask Harry Von Zell howhe felt when he introduced thethe President of the United Statesas "Hooben Heever "!Even the famed Von Zell aplombwas shaken that time. But, if theCrown Prince of Norway had

been within ear shot, he too mighthave been startled out of his dig-nity the day Mutual’s Arthur White-side announced into the micro-phone: "Here comes the brownquints of Norway.

Lip-tripping and twisted mean-ings are the bane of the commer-cial announcer, who could oftencheerfully strangle the boys in theagencies who seem content to letthe participles, prepositions andverbs fall where they may. Take, for instance, the plug that read: "Have you tried Wheaties for abedtime snack? They're light andeasy to sleep on. "Or the snappycome on for a favorite brand ofbread: "Is given you a rich, nutlikeflavor. " Or the nifty Tom Slateruttered on a Raymond GranSwing program: "More and moremen are turning to White Owls,"

Probably the most sympathycan he directed at the nervous,jittnery speaker who is facing amike for the very first --and proba-

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was shaken that time. But, if theCrown Prince of Norway had beenwithin ear shot, he too might havebeen startled out of his dignity theday Mutual’s Arthur White- side an-nounced into the microphone:"Here comes the brown quints ofNorway.

Lip-tripping and twisted mean-ings are the bane of the commer-cial announcer, who could oftencheerfully strangle the boys in theagencies who seem content to letthe participles, prepositions andverbs fall where they may. Take, for instance, the plug that read: "Have you tried Wheaties for abedtime snack? They're light andeasy to sleep on. "Or the snappycome on for a favorite brand ofbread: "Is given you a rich, nutlikeflavor. " Or the nifty Tom Slateruttered on a Raymond GranSwing program: "More and moremen are turning to White Owls,"

Probably the most sympathycan he directed at the nervous, jit-tnery speaker who is facing amike for the very first --and proba-

bly the last -- time. Representa-tive of that group is the presi-dent of a manufacturing concernwhose to address his fellow ex-ecutives at a convention dinner,which was also broadcast overa nationwide network. His greet-ing listed all the distinguishedguests on the rostrum andwound up with "and also thepeople of the audio radiance."After a moment of hushed silencethe speaker stumbled on "It isindeed a pleasure to addresssuch a gathering of ragged indi-vidualists." From that point on, itdidn't matter very much what hesaid. His fame was immortal!

It isn’t always the man at themike who makes the boner. H.VKaltenborn will probably neverforget the time he was present-ed to a dignified lecture audiencewith what was undoubtedly in-tended so be a staid and properintroduction: "We now presentH.V. Kaltenborn, who has beenon the lecher platform for twenty-five years."

The atmosphere was alsomomentarily electric over theairwaves, when (George Put-nam gravely introduced the starof an original drama with thebreathtaking words: "Miss HelenHayes presents a litter for Hitler!"What he should have said was"letter."

Andre Baruch once confusedhis CBS listeners no end by re-ferring to the Marine Roof ofBrooklyn's Hotel Bossen as she"Maroon Reef." The same Andre(now Major Baruch of the Army)

introduced a musical selection onMuteal's "Your Army Service Pro-gram" with: "And now the orches-tra, with Warrant Officer EdwardSadowsky selucting

While such slips of the lip arethe nightmare of a radio speaker'sexistence, they do lend spice toradio listening. Occasionally, afaux par is the fillip which turns anotherwise dull session into a veri-table funfest.

But it doesn't make life anypleasanter for the hapless "fluffer"--who more often than not wisheshe could just follow the lead ofthe little boy who appeared on theMajor Bowes hour. This 6 - yearold sang about three bars of hissong, then forgot the words. Notthe least bit flustered, he turned tothe Major, raised his hand in sig-nal -- and asked if he could leavethe room.TUNE IN Vol 3 No.3 July, 1945

H.V. Kaltenborn

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" I enjoy old radio drama because it appealsto the imagination. I enjoy old radio drama be-cause it forces me to use my imagination. Television gives you too much: you don't useyour imagination."

Broadcast from KP FA (April 15, 2009) That is the kind of thing one hears often from

people who have retained a fondness for oldradio drama. I'm one of them―I grew up duringthe "golden age"―yet I do not believe that such statements are accurate, especially if one con-ceives of the "imagination" as the imagination,the image-making faculty.

It's curious that people don't say such thingsabout movies―don't assert that movies, like television, stimulate their imaginations less thanradio. Most people consider "film" to be a pre- eminently "imaginative" art. Yet film "gives you"as much as television. Indeed, in these days of video cassettes and DVDs, many films are seenon television. It could be argued that becausefilm and video excite us with both visual and au-ditory symbols―rather than only auditory sym-bols they stimulate our imaginations more thanradio does. Do silent films stimulate our auditory imaginations―so that we supply them with ourown personal soundtracks―the way radio is supposed to stimulate our visual imaginations?

When we watch film or TV we are not being"given" something we might just as easily "cre-ate" for ourselves. Tell that to Francis Ford Cop-pola. We are being bombarded by a highlystylized set of visual/lauditory symbols whosepurpose is to stimulate us―just as the purposeof radio's highly stylized auditory symbols is to

stimulate us, to make us feel something. I don't wish to deny the obvious―the great

power of early radio drama. Yet it seems to methat the source of that power lies in somethingother than "forcing me to use my imagination."Father Walter J. Ong and others have pointedout that our culture tends to privilege the visualover other senses―so that a sentence like "Isee what you're saying " doesn't strike anyoneas paradoxical. Many people feel that for some-thing to have value it must in some sense in-volve the visual. Radio obviously does notinvolve the visual in any literal way―so it mustinvolve the visual in another way: it lets us "useour imaginations." But is there another explana-tion for the power of radio?

People who like old radio programs are notnecessarily fond of new radio programs―evenwhen those programs are attempts to recreate

Notes on an ancient form of "Spoken Word" (a script for radio) by Jack Foley"And again Ihear": Old Time Radio and the Imagination

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the conditions of the old. (The CBS Radio Mys-tery Theater, for instance.) The reason for that iseasy enough to―see. Old radio programs didnot exist in a vacuum but in a total context inwhich the rituals of radio listening were only onepart of a fabric which included many other thingsas well. That context is now gone. Yet the radioshows, which were a part of the context, remain.New radio programs, however skillfully they maybe done, do not provide us with a doorway tothat vanished world―with the deep pleasures ofself-awareness, self-consciousness.Wordsworth:

Five years have past: five summers, with the length

Of five long winters! and again I hear These waters, rolling from their mountain-

springs With a soft inland murmur.―Once again Do I behold these steep and lofty cliffs .... ("Tintern Abbey") It's interesting that Wordsworth's great poem

begins with hearing ("again I hear"), despite the fact that so much of it is concerned with seeing:"these beauteous forms," "the picture of themind revives again." (But a few lines later: "hear-

ing oftentimes I The still, sad music of humanity.")Wordsworth (who is one of the sources of themodem idea of "imagination")* may be asserting a deep connection between recollection andsound, and I will want to pursue that notion a little further on. For the moment it's enough to noticethat for someone who grew up with old radio― someone like me―the ancient programs are ineffect the equivalent to Wordsworth's landscape: listening to Suspense, Escape, Captain Midnight,or The Jack Benny Program, one is at onceaware of the child-selflistening and of the abysswhich exists between that child-self and one's presence; aware of the intense spiraling out ofthe bitter-sweet, nostalgia (by etymology, "home-sickness").

Yet of course such "homesickness" was not apart of one's original condition when the broad-casts were first heard. One was not homesick;one was―at home. But before dismissinghomesickness as entirely irrelevant, we mightconsider the matter a little more. For after allwhat is homesickness but the intense aware-ness of an absence? And what, finally, was "thegolden age of radio" but the continual assertionof an absence?

I happen to own a wonderful recorded adapta-tion of James Hilton's Lost Horizon―boughtwhen I was a child. It begins, "You are deep in

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the mountains of Tibet.. .. " Radio could placethe listener as easily as that, could shift scenesin a sentence. And yet such placement was infact a recognition that one was not "deep in themountains of Tibet," that one was in one's livingroom, hoping to escape for a few moments fromthe conditions of living in that living room. Not for nothing did the Lights Out broadcasts begin withthe command to "Turn out your lights." If the objects of the living room were seen less clearly,one could concentrate better on the deep pre-tense that the broadcast was asking you to initi-ate. The opening words of Escape almost admit the duplicity involved. They name the living room("the four walls of today") but also whisk youaway from it:

Tired of the everyday grind? Ever dream of alife of romantic adventure? Want to get awayfrom it all? We offer you ... Escape! Escape! ...designed to free you from the four walls of todayfor a half-hour of high adventure.

Radio drama was in a certain sense the con-tinual assertion of a lie, and like all lies (or fic-tions) it remained fundamentally ungrounded,constantly skating on the thin ice of its insub-stantiality. The voices we heard were "real," butthey didn't exist "deep in the mountains of Tibet":they were arising out ofthe nowhere of a broad-casting studio. Even the power of the radio an-

nouncer's voice―its appeal to intimacy-is a kind of lie.

If one thinks back to some of the great mo-ments of radio they are not moments of seeing("radio forces me to use my imagination") butmoments of absence, of blindness, of the inabil-ity to see anything : Captain Midnight, indeed,but also The Shadow (with the "power to cloudmen's minds so they cannot see him"); the greatSuspense drama, "Sorry, Wrong Number" (withan invalid protagonist whose activities centeraround two men she cannot see but whosevoices she hears on the telephone); the squeak-ing of the door on Inner Sanctum and the never-seen, never-described "inner sanctum" itself; thesilences of Orson Welles' War of the Worlds―a

SORRYWRONG NUMBER

program which terrified an extraordinary numberof Americans; the silence of Jack Benny consid-ering the offer of "Your money or your life." Andso on and so on. Radio was powerful partly be-cause it recognized that I could not "use myimagination," that whatever visual cues I mightreceive were at best flimsy and vague. What itasserted instead was a kind of blindness. Haveyou ever met people who dislike talking on thetelephone because they are uncomfortable with"disembodied voices"? Radio was nothing butdisembodied voices.

Indeed, "The Shadow" was explicitly a disem-bodied voice. But so in fact was his supposedly visible alter-ego "Lamont Cranston": the actorplaying The Shadow had to speak through a special filter which changed his voice so that theaudience would know when he was invisible! Every week Lamont Cranston would "transform"himself into the invisible Shadow and The Shadow would frighten everyone―particularlythe villains. The program offered us, in addition to the pleasure of drama, the pleasure of feelingsuperior to people who are frightened by disem-bodied voices―a pleasure which was made allthe more delightful by our semi-conscious real-ization that, under other circumstances, wemight be as frightened as they. The Shadow of

the pulp magazines was a creature ofthe dark-ness, but he was not invisible: it was only whenhe became a radio character that that featurewas added. He became more frightening whenhe was not able to be seen at all

I am not arguing that there were no visualcues involved with radio drama―and of coursesome people are psychologically more inclinedto generate visual images than others. I am onlyarguing that the visual cues generated by oldradio were not central and powerful. One re-members Blue Coal and The Green Hornet, butone remembers them partly because one hadno other details to distract from them. MarshallMcLuhan (among many others) speaks ofradio's forcing you to "fill in" the senses whichare not being appealed to. I don't think McLuhanis correct in this formulation. Does one "fill in"the sense of touch or taste when one is watch-ing a film or a play? Does one "feel" the kiss thata movie actor delivers to the lips of his co-star(however much that kiss may make us long tobe kissed ourselves)? McLuhan's idea seems tome quite wrong as a formulation about radio butadmirable as a defense against the sense ofblindness which radio does communicate. Wedo not "fill in" senses not being appealed to: we

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cling to the audio. It is interesting that the centralcharacter of Dylan Thomas's "play for voices,"Under Milk Wood, is a blind man: Captain Cat.We are, these days, used to seeing innumerableimages of our favorite stars. In the context of oldradio, that was far less true: there was consider-able curiosity about exactly what the radio starlooked like, and the fan magazines (and, attimes, films) did what they could to supply thelack. If we were busily creating mental picturesof the stars as we listened to the shows, whywould we have such curiosity? Wouldn't we "al-ready know"?

And yet, if all this is so, why is it that so manypeople say that radio made them use their imaginations, that they could in some sense"see" the characters they heard? Having saidexactly that, a friend of mine added, honestly,that he would be hard-pressed to be specificabout such seeing: he could not really tell methe color of Margot Lane's hair, for example. Yetthe sensation that he was seeing somethingwas strong.

It seems to me that despite the many at-tempts to mute the listener's condition, to reas-sure her /him by music and soft words and byavoiding "dead air" (radio silence)―despite allthis, the blindness which radio asserted was es-sentially painful. People are quite right to be dis-turbed by "disembodied voices." We cling tosound because our other senses are left in anabyss. The pain is assuaged, however, by a pe-culiar stratagem. Encouraged by the nature ofthe medium itself, with its tendency towards akind of "lying," the listener is able to assuage hispain by participating in the creation of a fiction.He is able to deny his blindness, to say, "I amnot blind, I am seeing more clearly than ever: Iam using my imagination." And in one sense, ofcourse, he is quite right. If the "imagination"

means, not the ability to "see" an image but theability to create the self-deception of a fiction,then that is precisely what he is doing. His self-deception is precisely his belief that he is "re-ally" seeing something.

But there is more to it than that. I mentioneda moment ago that I would pursue the relation-ship between recollection and sounds; these re-marks are limited to the particular sounds wecall "voices." Here, in a passage from "On Nar-cissism: An Introduction," is Freud on the gene-sis of conscience. Note that Freud insists thatvoices "speak" to the paranoic and that "the influence of parental criticism" is "conveyed ...by the medium of the voice":

Recognition of [the institution of conscience]enables us to understand the so-called "delu-sions of observation" or, more correctly, of

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being watched, which are such striking symp-toms in the paranoid diseases and may perhapsalso occur as an isolated form of illness ... Pa-tients of this sort complain that all their thoughtsare known and their actions watched and over-looked; they are informed of the function of thismental institution by voices which characteristi-cally speak to them in the third person ("Now she is thinking ofthat again" ... "now he is going out"). This comp-laint is justified―it describes the truth; a powerof this kind, watching, discovering and criticizingall our intentions, does really exist; indeed, it ex-ists with every one of us in normal life. The delu-sion of being watched presents it in a regressiveform, thereby revealing the genesis of this func-tion and the reason why the patient is in revoltagainst it.

For that which prompted the person to forman ego-ideal, over which his conscience keepsguard, was the influence of parental criticism(conveyed to him by the medium of the voice),reinforced, as time went on, by those whotrained and taught the child and by all the otherpersons of his environment―an indefinite host,too numerous to reckon (fellow-men, publicopinion)...

The institution of conscience was at bottoman embodiment, first of parental criticism, and subsequently of that of society ...

The lament of the paranoic shows ... that atbottom the self-criticism of conscience is identi-cal with, and based upon, self-observation. Thatactivity of the mind which took over the functionof conscience has also enlisted itself in the serv-ice of introspection, which furnishes philosophywith the material for its intellectual operations ...[We are describing a] critically watching faculty, which becomes heightened into conscience andphilosophic introspection.

It is into such half-forgotten areas of ancientpsychic events that radio drama―the hearing of voices―is able to penetrate. This, it seems tome, is the genuine source of its power. In Under-standing Media: The Extensions of Man, Mar-shall McLuhan remarks, accurately I think, that.

Radio is provided with its cloak of invisibility,like any other medium. It comes to us ostensi-bly with person-to-person directness that is pri-vate and intimate, while in more urgent fact, it isreally a subliminal echo chamber of magicalpower to touch remote and forgotten chords ...Radio [is] a reviver of archaism and ancientmemories ....

One wonders to what extent the Catholic in-stitution of Confession―which is definitely re-lated to the conscience―depends upon thehearing of "disembodied voices." We do not seethe priest any more than the priest sees us.

For Freud, the conscience is deeply involvedwith the hearing of voices―indeed, with thehearing of disembodied voices―and it shows it-self through a sickness which is almost a play:"Now she is thinking of that again" ... "now he isgoing out." One thinks of the famous openingwords of The Shadow, whose central characteris nothing but the fierce embodiment of a fierceconscience: "Who knows what evil lurks in the

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hearts of men? The Shadow knows." We tend toforget that, as figures of conscience, many earlysuperheroes were scarcely distinguishable fromthe bogeyman. The Lone Ranger was regularlyreferred to as "the masked man" and a mask isusually worn by a criminal. The mask, like TheShadow's invisibility, was still another indicationof the radio listener's inability to see something,of the absence at the heart of the form. Indeed,the Ranger's association with a Native Americanwas less an example of multiculturalism than itwas an indication of his connection to the wild,the savage, the dangerous. Modern survivalsseem to have lost this dark (and sometimes vio-lent) aspect. Over the past several years therehave been films dealing with Superman, TheLone Ranger, The Shadow, and Popeye. Thesefilms have tended to be origins―of films and-with the exception of The Shadow―the centralfigures in them have been nostalgic emblems ofindividualism rather than dark avengers. Suchemblems are of course offered at a time whenindividualism seems most in doubt.

Further: Many of the most effective radio pro-grams were frightening, mirrors of the anxiety ofconscience―what we sometimes refer to as

"paranoia"; these shows were often self-reflective, first-person singular, a character re-membering something, telling us the story of hislife. Sam Spade used to regularly report on a"caper" to his secretary, Effie. Such "voice-over"narration, which was also often a feature of filmsat the time, was a kind of introspection―in Freud'sphrase, a "critically watching faculty."

This idea of a connection between consci-ence and voices is further strengthened by apassage in Erwin W. Straus's article, "Phenom-enology of Hallucinations." "The schizophrenichears voices, not persons," writes Straus; "Voiceand speaker remain separate":

Sound detached from the sounding body issomething; yet it is not a thing one can manipu-late like the piano which produces the sound; itis not a thing, but neither is it no-thing. Sound is somewhere between thing and no-thing. It doesnot belong to the category of objects which we can handle. In hearing, we have already heard.We cannot escape from a sound in the mannerby which we escape from visible things at theirdistant place; we lend our ear to the wordswhich come toward us and claim us. A voicecalls and orders. No wonder, therefore, that, inmany languages―in Greek and Latin, Hebrew,French and German, and Russian―the words"hearing" and "obeying" are derived from thesame root. English makes no exception; for theverb "to obey" stems from the Latin obaudire(literally, to listen from below), a relation moreclearly preserved in the noun "obedience."

Struck by the irresistible power of voices, theschizophrenic feels no need to test the reality ofhis expenence.

Straus's last sentence might well pertain tothe radio listener who, like the schizophrenic,gets caught up in "the irresistible power ofvoices" and so feels "no need to test the reality

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of his experience." The radio performer's voicealso hovers "between thing and nothing," andthis ambiguous status―neither something nornothing―might well suggest why people shouldbe somewhat uneasy when confronted with dis-embodied voices. Finally, Straus's pointing to linguistic evidence of a connection betweenhearing and obeying is very powerful. We dospeak, after all, of the "voice" of conscience.

Straus's distinction between voice andspeaker was once made by my son when hewas a very young child. I play the guitar a little,and when I happened upon a song I thought afriend would enjoy, I recorded it on a cassette.My young son was very interested in what I wasdoing and asked to hear the song. I played thecassette for him, and he liked it very much. Afterplaying it a few times more, I put it in an enve-lope and mailed it. The next day my son askedto hear the song again. I got out the guitar andbegan to play. "No, no," he said, shaking hishead at me and pointing to the speakers: "Wadiodaddy! Wadio daddy!" My son didn't want me:he wanted what had come out of that speaker.

In his brilliant foreword to Pedro Lain Entral-go's Therapy of the Word in Classical Antiquity,Father Walter J. Ong writes of "the new orality ofour electronic era, where the telephone, louds-peaker, radio, and television give voice a newkind of currency." Father Ong's point is accurateand well-taken. But the power of old radio dramais one indication of an enormously important dif-ference between the "new" and the "old" orality.In the Renaissance one could at least see thepreacher who was preaching the sermon; it waspossible to touch him, even to answer back.When the human voice becomes in point of factdisembodied, when it issues forth out of a boxwe call (the word has an extraordinary numberof implications) a "speaker," it is then able to

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take on an intimacy and a power which is quitedifferent from the power it has when the speak-er" is standing directly in front of us. If a humanbeing is standing in front of us speaking, "voice"and "speaker" are not "separate"; but they are inthe experience of radio or, for that matter, in theexperience of reading.

Radio is a device for disseminating the hu-man voice, for making it available to vast num-bers of people who would be unable to hear itwere the device not operative. But, like all tech-nologies, radio changes the nature of the thing itprojects. If Freud is correct in his description ofthe birth of conscience, the power of the disem-bodied voice is related to ancient awarenessesgoing back to the depths of childhood. Suchawarenesses, moving as they are, tend to alien-ate and exile us from the immediacy of our situa-tions, to remove us from the boundless facts ofour physical existence. Old radio dramas were instruments (mirrors) of aliena-tion, but at the same time instruments of spiritual growth.

Of course both psychoanalysis and the con-fessional are testimony to the power of the wordnot only to deceive but to heal―what FatherOng calls "logotherapy." Such power is the shin-ing of a two-edged sword, though I admit that Ihardly thought so when, long years ago, I sat inthe darkness, listening. I was not blind; I wasseeing more clearly than ever; I was using myimagination. Jack Foley is a poet and critic living in the SanFrancisco Bay area. .Foley's radio show, Cover to Cover, is heard every Wednesday at 3:00 p.m.west coast time on Berkeley station KPFA and isavailable at the KPFA web site; his column,"Foley's Books," appears in the online magazine,The Alsop Review. This piece first appeared atwww.otrcat.com

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Sound effects man Bob Mott died Sept.28The Emmy winner worked on the kids show 'Captain Kangaroo' andwrote comedy bits for Red Skeltonand Dick Van Dyke.

Two great sound men Barney Beck and Bob Mottat one of the Cincinnati conventions

Mott won two Emmy Awards for his efforts on the NBCdaytime soap opera Days of Our Lives; he was with theshow on and off for three decades. He once said hetaped the crackling sound of cedar burning during a va-cation to his brother's cabin and used that slice of audiowhenever a scene on the show featured a fireplace.

CBS hired him as a sound effects specialist in 1951,and he worked on dozens of radio and TV programs, in-cluding Perry Mason, The Ed Sullivan Show, The GarryMoore Show, The Jackie Gleason Show, The AndyWilliams Show and Playhouse 90.

While doing sound effects for the CBS morning kidsshow Captain Kangaroo, starring Bob Keeshan, Mottwas asked to write pantomime sketches for Skelton'sprimetime comedy show for the network.

After CBS, Mott segued to NBC and worked on BobHope specials, The Tonight Show, Flip, Rowan & Mar-tin's Laugh-In and Chico and the Man.

Mott wrote several books about sound effects, includ-ing the cleverly titled Radio Live! Television Live! ThoseGolden Days When Horses Were Coconuts, publishedin 2000.

Edited by Bob Burchettbob_burchett@msn.comDistributed by Jim Beshiresbeshiresjim@yahoo.com

Editorial Policy of the Old RadioTimes

It is the policy of The Old Radio Timesnot to accept paid advertising in any form.We feel that it would be detrimental to thegoal of the Old Time Radio Researchersorganization to distribute its productsfreely to all wishing them. Accepting paidadvertising would compromise that goal,as dealers whose ideals are not in linewith ours could buy ad space.

That being said, The Old Radio Timeswill run free ads from individuals, groups,and dealers whose ideals are in line withthe group’s goals and who support thehobby.

Publishing houses who wish to advertisein this magazine will be considered if theysupply the publisher and editor with areview copy of their new publication.Anyone is free to submit a review or a newpublication about old time radio or nostalgia.

Dealers whose ads we carry or may carry have agreed to give those placingorders with them a discount if they mentionthat they saw their ad in ‘The Old RadioTimes’. This is in line with the group’sgoal of making otr available to the collecting community.

We will gladly carry free ads for anyother old time radio group or any groupdevoted to nostalgia. Submit your ads to:bob_burchett@msn.com

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SEE MY NOSTAGIA INSPIRED ART AND ORDER PRINTS OR REQUEST YOUR ORIGINALCARTOONS, CARICATURES & COMICS

www.all30acresgirl.wix.com/joeygrafix-cartoons

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Chuck Schaden Interviews09-04-88 Mel Blanc (by telephone) on WBBMRadio Classics 51 min.mp309-15-05 Midwest Pioneer Broadcaster Chicago IL 69 min.mp310-24-98 Mason Adams at FOTR Convention 11 Aldrich Family 1940-02-20 Rabbits and Pigeons.mp31940-11-07 Henry's Hot Idea Cools Off.mp31941-10-23 Henry forgets to mail a letter.mp3Aldrich Family 1941-11-06 Muscle buildingcourse.mp31942-01-22 Girlfriend.mp31942-06-18 Selling Christmas cards.mp31948-10-21 Baby-sitting or movies.mp31948-10-28 Detention or basketball game.mp31949-01-06 Cousin Lionel.mp31949-01-20 Dinner date with Kathleen.mp31949-02-10 Geometrymp31949-04-07 Blind date.mp31949-04-28 Date with a tall girl.mp3Chuck Schaden Interviews05-28-94 Marty Halperin (Former AFRS Techni-cian) 32 min(1).mp305-28-94 Marty Halperin (Former AFRS Techni-cian) 32 min.mp3

Chuck Schaden Interviews06-15-88 Mary Lee Robb PalmDesert CA 28min.mp308-25-77 Maury Amsterdam Hyatt RegencyOHare 30min.mp310-29-76 Mercedes McCambridge Drury LaneTheatre 30 min.mp310-29-88 Michael Dawson On Radio ClassicsChicago IL 14 min.04-10-79 Michael Rye Studio F Paramount Pictures Sears Radio.mp309-23-89 Mike Wallace at MBC in Chicago IL 27 min.mp3Life with Luigi 1948-09-21 Luigi discovers America.mp31948-11-09 Finds stolen diamond ring.mp31948-11-16 Luigi attends PTA meeting.mp31948-11-30 Luigi joins hospital plan.mp31948-12-07 Damage claim on brokenmirror.mp31948-12-21 Antique colonial silver cup.mp31949-01-09 First date with an American girl.mp31949-01-16 Surprise party.mp31949-01-30 Character references.mp31949-03-27 Luigi goes to dance school.mp31949-05-01 Plans a block party.mp31950-06-06 Party line troubles.mp31950-06-13 Luigi stands up to Pasquale.mp31952-02-26 Joins local civil defense group.mp31952-03-04 Pasquale threatens to evictLuigi.mp31952-03-11 Income tax problems.mp3Lights Out 1937-05-12 Organ.mp31937-12-22 Uninhabited.mp31938-04-06 Cat Wife.mp31938-05-11 It Happened.mp31939-04-26 The Devil's Due.mp31942-10-06 What the Devil.mp31942-10-13 Revolt of the Worms.mp3

OTRR ACQUIRES NEW EPISODES AND UPGRADED SOUND ENCODESFOR NOVEMBER AND DECEMBERThis is a list of newly acquired series/episodes. They may either be new to mp3 or better encodes. These were acquired by the Group during the months of Sept and Oct They were purchased by donations from members and friends ofthe Old Time Radio Researchers.If you have cassettes that you would like to donate, please e-mail beshiresjim@yahoo.comFor reel-to-reels, contact david0@centurytel.net& for transcription disks tony_senior@yahoo.com

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Lights Out 1942-10-20 Poltergeist (aka Gravestone).mp31942-10-27 Mungahra (aka The House isHaunted).mp31942-11-10 Bon Voyage.mp31942-12-01 Mr Maggs (aka The Chest).mp31942-12-08 Scoop (aka Cemetery).mp31942-12-15 Knock at the Door.mp31942-12-29 Valse Triste.mp31943-01-05 The Fast One (aka Speed).mp31943-01-26 Protective Mr Drogan (aka Big MrLittle).mp31943-02-02 Until Dead (aka The Luck of MarkStreet).mp31943-02-09 He Dug It Up.mp31943-02-23 They Met at Dorset.mp31943-03-09 The Ball (aka Paris Macabre).mp3Music for Moderns 02-07-53 Count Basie and his band.mp3

02-14-53 Count Basie and his band.mp302-28-53 Teddy Wilson and his trio.mp303-07-53 Woody Herman and the third herd.mp303-14-53 Woody Herman and the third herd.mp303-14-53 Woody Herman and the third herd.mp303-22-53 Dave Brubek Quartet and the ChubbyJackson Bill Harris Herd.mp304-04-53 Stan Kenton and his orchestra.mp304-11-53 Jack Teagarden and his orchestra.mp304-17-53 Jack Teagarden and his orchestra.mp304-25-53 Buddy Defranco Quartet and OscarPeterson.mp305-02-53 Buddy Defranco Quartet and Oscar Peterson .mp305-09-53 Charlie Ventura and his combo (fromthe Blue Note).mp305-23-53 Charlie Ventura and his combo (fromthe Blue Note).mp3 desktop.ini

Going Hollywood

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When New Quick Lux Flakes was intro-duced, it was the best Lux Flakes made to date.On paper, this new version didn’t look much dif-ferent from the previous Lux Flakes. The bluebox was the same on the outside, and the soapflakes inside also looked the same. Althoughthe soap flakes looked the same, there was adifference. Once it came in contact with water,New Quick Lux dissolved quickly and completelyinto rich white suds. There was no messy soapgunk on the bottom of the dishpan.

As impressive as quick dissolving sounded,there was another reason why New Quick Luxwas better than ever. The radio listeners wouldknow why it was better on a 1940 broadcast ofthe prestigious LUX RADIO THEATER. In be-tween acts of the program, announcer MelvilleRuick described how Lux and 5 other majorsoap brands took part in “The Hand Test.”

The testing was done at a famous laboratorywith hundreds of women participating. In frontof each seated lady, there were 2 dishpans fullof water. 1 dishpan had New Quick Lux mixedwith water, and the other dishpan had 1 of the 5major soap brands mixed with water. Each ladyplaced 1 of her hands into the water that con-tained the Lux suds, and the other hand wasplaced into the other dishpan with the suds fromthe other soap. This was done in 20 minute in-tervals, 3 times a day for 28 days--- in otherwords, the conditions of a typical day of washingdishes. In order to keep this test completely fairand impartial, the ladies were not allowed towash dishes on their own, and no creams or lo-tions could be used at any time during the 28day period. After each session, scientists moni-tored the results of each lady’s hands and kept

careful records of their analysis. When the 28 days of testing were completed,

there was a very noticeable difference in theladies’ hands. The hands that were in the Luxsuds were all soft and smooth, while the handsin the suds of the other soap were all red,chapped, cracked, and painful.

The ladies were then asked on their thoughtsof the testing. Most of them noticed a differencein their hands as far back as the third day.While the Lux hands were consistently soft andsmooth, the other soap’s hands began to showsigns of becoming red, chapped, and rough---and it would only get worse as time went on.To no great surprise, the ladies were convincedto use New Quick Lux for their dishes from thatpoint on.

For participating in the testing, some of theladies who took part were featured in magazineads for New Quick Lux. As the saying goes,

New QuickLuxFlakesWins HandTest

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“pictures don’t lie.”--- and they didn’t in theseads! The individual lady’s hands were picturedin color as they exactly appeared from the test-ing. There was absolutely no editing of the coloror the picture of the hands. It was obvious tothe naked eye of the reader which soap wasmilder and which soap WASN”T! Let’s not for-get, since this is an article on radio commercials,the Hand Test and its results got some consider-able publicity in the New Quick Lux radio com-mercials on the LUX RADIO THEATER.

Since New Quick Lux was a brand of soap,and the 5 major brands were also soap, whywas there such a noticeable difference? The 5brands had something extra that Lux didn’t,that’s why! Unfortunately, that something extrawasn’t anything to brag about. The 5 majorbrands--- and many other soap brands for thatmatter, all had alkali. This not-so-amazing stuffwas the guilty party for making hands’ miserablewhen it came to washing dishes. Since thischore was usually done 3 times a day, dish-washing with soaps containing alkali would takeits toll on the poor hands. On the other hand,New Quick Lux doesn’t have any alkali in its

soap formula. When it was used for dishwash-ing--- no matter how many times a day, thehands were always soft, smooth, and nice tolook at after each dishwashing session.

Now that New Quick Lux easily defeated 5of the most popular soap brands in the 28 dayHand Test, it must be the most expensive soapto buy and use. Not so! Announcer Ruick madeit known to the listeners that New Quick Lux did-n’t cost any more than the competition--- and theBIG box was actually extra thrifty to buy and use.

Ruick also mentioned how New Quick Luxcontinued the tradition of washing dishes cleanwithout its users suffering from the infamous“Dishpan Hands”--- an adversary Lux Flakesmade famous in its advertising during the 1930’s(and maybe even before that, but I’m not sure).

It’s doubtful that husbands spent entire even-ings giving their undivided attention to theirwives’ hands after using Lux as implied in theenclosed magazine ad, but it is safe to say thatwashing dishes with this amazing soap madelife easier and a lot less painful for the wiveswho used it.

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