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RAISE BOYS REDUCE AGGRESSION, INCREASE SELF EMPOWERMENT

THE OPHELIA PROJECT PRESENTS:

Shaping healthy peer relationships for today’s boys and young men.

Fourth & Fifth GradeLessons

©2010 The Ophelia Project. All Rights Reserved. RAISE Boys 4‐5 1

The Ophelia Project Presents: RAISE Boys:

Reduce Aggression, Increase Self Empowerment

Fourth ‐ Fifth Grade


Table of Contents

Introduction............................................................................4

What is Relational Aggression? ...............................................5

Features of this Curriculum .....................................................6

Objectives and Essential Questions .........................................9

Suggested Curriculum Levels ...................................................9

Scope and Sequence ............................................................. 10

Activities by Topic and Grade Level ....................................... 14

National Standards ............................................................... 15

Lesson One: The Language of Peer Aggression ...................... 17

Lesson Two: The Bystander ................................................... 20

Lesson Three: Normative Beliefs ........................................... 23

Lesson Four: Friendship ........................................................ 26

Lesson Five: Leadership ........................................................ 29

Lesson Six: Cyberbullying ...................................................... 32

Appendices ........................................................................... 35


Acknowledgements Author: Leigh Anne Kraemer‐Naser, M.Ed. The Ophelia Project would like to thank the following individuals who contributed to the research, development, and piloting of this program:

Marilyn Goldhammer (activity development)

Christine Linkie and Mary Baird (pilot development)

Grace Church, McKean PA

James W. Parker Middle School, Edinboro PA

Trinity Center of Bethesda Children’s Home, Erie PA

The School District of the City of Erie Other contributors to this program : Paul Baird, Tom Calabrese, Larry Dickson, Mark DiPlacido, Chivon Fitch, Howard Hiton, Jeffrey Natalie, Larry Shallenberger, Mike Simmons, Evan Tucker, Trey Zeluff


Introduction

Why use this curriculum? This curriculum seeks to empower boys in Kindergarten through High School to identify, assess, and reduce relational aggression. Through the use of anecdotes, group activities, and reflections, boys will develop strategies for creating safe social climates and maintaining healthy friendships. According to research by Cross and Peisner (2009) regarding relational aggression, “It appears that communication about true peer group behavior framed in a positive, healthy, and ‘cool’ normative message can reduce the perception that ‘everyone is doing it.’” Thus, this curriculum is designed to provide boys with an opportunity for communication, exploration, expression, and reflection in developing healthy friendships and leadership opportunities, as well as establishing norms for safe social climates.

Relational aggression only affects teenage girls, right? Why make a boys’ curriculum? No. Relational aggression is relevant at all ages and genders; however, it may look different at various developmental stages. For example, relational aggression is more explicit with younger children (“You can’t come to my birthday party!”) and more subtle with older adolescents (e.g. using instant messaging or gossip to hurt someone). Research has found that there are no gender effects when it comes to relational aggression. Today's boys need our help just as much as today's girls. The Ophelia Project’s mission has evolved over time to encompass both populations.

Artz, Nicholson, and Magnuson (2008) not only concluded that boys engage in indirect aggression almost as often as girls, but boys are twice as likely as girls to use indirect aggression towards boys. The researchers infer that, “Male‐on‐male aggression serves to uphold masculinity and dominant heterosexual male power.” In a response to this and other studies that uphold this assertion, this curriculum seeks not only to reduce relational aggression among boys, but also to encourage positive attributes associated with male gender roles and skills for negotiating expectations of “being a man” in today’s society.

This curriculum will stimulate your group and facilitators to think about the impact and cost of relational aggression on boys’ lives, friendships, and self concept. Thank you for joining us in building awareness and addressing the impact of relational aggression. The Ophelia Project Staff


What is Relational Aggression? Relational Aggression (RA) is behavior that is intended to hurt someone by harming their relationships with others. It is often covert and subtle and requires careful observation. It is not just “kids being kids.” It is hurtful, intentional behavior that damages self esteem and makes it difficult for creating and maintaining healthy relationships. It may include all or some of the following behaviors:

Eye rolling

Ignoring

Building alliances

Teasing and put downs

Spreading rumors and gossip

Forming exclusive cliques

Cyberbullying

Relational aggression is one form of peer aggression; other forms are physical and verbal aggression. Physical aggression is usually more overt and recognizable; verbal aggression typically includes put downs and spreading rumors and may be part of relational aggression. All forms of aggression occur on a continuum; while behaviors at the low end may seem harmless, like sighing or rolling one’s eyes, they quickly move to the high end to include hurtful gossip, exclusion, or threats via the Internet.

What is the impact of Relational Aggression? Establishing and maintaining healthy relationships is an important developmental task for children and teens. Relational aggression works against the development of these relationships. It is hurtful, damages self‐concept and interferes with academic and physical development. Community leaders and parents often see the impact that relational aggression has on children and teens, but do not always understand what is happening. They may observe a child who is less secure than before or one who claims that “no one is my friend.” They may notice that good friends no longer call or come by to “hang out.” They may observe children and teens who once earned good grades doing poorly in school, complaining more frequently of stomachaches and illness or saying that they do not want to go to school or participate in after‐school activities.

How can creating a safe social climate help you begin to address relational aggression? A safe social climate is one where all can express their opinions, share their ideas, and celebrate their diversity. Put downs are not acceptable and inclusion is encouraged. Becoming proactive is critical. Rather than reacting to incidents of aggression after they occur, anyone can work to create organizations, clubs, sports teams or classrooms where people respect each others’ abilities and differences, value cooperation, and celebrate tolerance and diversity. Boys can be challenged to examine their beliefs about how to treat others because research tells us that beliefs predict behavior. They can learn to be more inclusive in their friendship circles and more aware of the contributions each of their peers can offer to the group. Relationships occur in a context… a culture. All boys want to belong, have friends, and feel connected. In a safe social climate, everyone is encouraged to respect their peers and friends; aggressive behaviors are actively discouraged and positive, pro‐social behaviors are actively taught and practiced.


Features of this Curriculum

This curriculum introduces boys to six key concepts: 1. The Language of Peer Aggression 2. The Role of the Bystander 3. Normative Beliefs 4. Friendship 5. Leadership 6. Cyberbullying

Instructional strategies: This curriculum uses a number of strategies to ensure that all learners are given opportunities to develop, understand, and express the material presented in each lesson. Each activity title is preceded by an icon which identifies the strategies used in the activity. Classification and definition of key terms Anecdotal stories or poems Video clips Whole and small group discussion Processing Points to guide discussion and encourage concept integration Interpersonal group activities Intrapersonal reflection Role playing Artistic expression Online activities Gross motor movement

Implementing the curriculum: It is recommended that lessons are delivered in order because the concepts build upon each other. Within each lesson, there is room for flexibility and adaptation including: 1. Adapt activities to your group size. If the group is large and there are more facilitators available,

use smaller groups. If the group is very small or facilitators are limited, then complete activities in a whole group.

2. Implement the activities in one or more consecutive time frames. Each lesson is broken into separate activities. Complete a lesson in one session, or break each activity into individual, shorter sessions.

3. Allow boys to make up their own scenarios. This curriculum provides narratives, skits, and role plays but feel free to use ones relevant to your group if available. Feel free also to substitute the names within a scenario to make it more relevant to the diversity within your group. Caution: Do not use a student in the group or his name as the aggressive character in a scenario.

4. Add role plays, skits, or art activities to any of the lessons as needed to meet your groups’ needs. 5. Modify or delete part of an activity if it does not fit the development level or specific needs of

your group. Children and teens develop at different rates and may be more or less adept in recognizing examples of relational aggression, analyzing their friendships, or in using the computer.

6. Substitute and/or add new props or materials as needed. All materials included are simply suggestions.


Preparing for Lessons: Read each lesson prior to implementing it to become familiar with the terminology and material. Be sure to make copies of templates or worksheets as necessary and gather all materials. If materials cannot be obtained, adjustments to the lesson may be necessary. For each lesson a chalkboard, whiteboard, or chart paper with chalk or markers to write with is beneficial. Have paper (for writing and drawing), pencils, pens, crayons, markers, or colored pencils on hand for every lesson as well.

Vocabulary: Many opportunities exist for boys to examine their beliefs about creating healthy relationships and to learn to identify and address relational aggression. The curriculum will give boys the language they need to describe peer aggression and recognize how it can prevent them from forming and maintaining healthy relationships with peers. It is recommended that vocabulary is kept consistent across all levels to ensure that boys are using the proper terminology throughout the curriculum. Using a shared language regarding peer aggression is important in identifying and reducing relational aggression. Vocabulary lists are included as Appendix A for each age level. There is also a Peer Aggression Glossary at the end of each set of lessons. Both the Kindergarten – First Grade and Second – Third Grade lessons have the vocabulary lists available as flash cards. Photocopy cards (front and back) on cardstock, or cut out pages from the Appendix and glue them front to back. If your instructional area has a word wall, feel free to add these cards to it. If there is no word wall, start one! It helps to build familiarity with new terms if they are visible within the room. Simply choose a place within the room and hang your vocabulary cards there – if you cannot post directly onto the wall, use poster board or a presentation board.

Differentiation of Instruction: Each level of this curriculum spans two or more grade levels. Acknowledging that all children and teens develop differently, it may be necessary for the facilitator to adapt activities and concepts for the developmental level of the group. Kindergarten – First Grade encompasses a gamut of abilities and skill levels both academically and socially. For this reason, specific differentiation opportunities are provided for boys with differing levels of skills. Suggestions are made to either simplify activities or increase complexity. Some differentiation opportunities incorporate reading skills by adding a literacy component to the lesson as well.

Online Activities: The Fourth – Fifth Grades, Middle School, and High School levels have optional online activities built into the lessons. A single computer with a projector can be used or multiple computers for small group or individual use. Online activities are supplemental to the lessons and not necessary for concept mastery. Some online activities may be completed without a computer if the facilitator accesses the websites in advance and prints off copies of the pages that the lesson references. Always monitor boys when they are online!


Lesson Layout with Highlighted Features:

Objectives provide the facilitator with measurable goals for each student to achieve as a result of completing the lesson.

Assessments provide the facilitator with observable benchmarks of student learning during the course of a lesson.

Materials provides a list of all necessary items for each lesson to allow for better facilitator preparation.

Vocabulary provides definitions of key terms to be used.

Activities provides step‐by‐step directions for facilitating each individual part of the lesson.

Closure provides an opportunity to review key concepts from the lesson and allows the facilitator to assess the degree to which lesson objectives have been met.

Processing Points are preceded by the pointing finger (). These questions stimulate discussion and encourage boys to make connections between activities and important concepts.

Activity Icons show the types of learning strategies used in the activity.

Online Activities provide opportunities for exploring lesson concepts on the Internet


Objectives and Essential Questions

Upon completion of this curriculum, boys will be able to: Identify peer aggression and the roles in a bullying situation.

Assess the importance of bystanders in a bullying situation.

Identify emotions in the self and others. (Kindergarten – Third Grade)

Distinguish between norms and rules. (Fourth Grade – Fifth Grade)

List social norms regarding male gender roles. (Middle School – High School)

Determine positive qualities of friendship and leadership.

Demonstrate positive online communication strategies.

Evaluate the roles of privacy and anonymity in online interactions (Middle School and High School).

This curriculum encourages boys to explore the following essential questions: How does bullying affect boys’ lives?

What does it mean to be a man?

What is friendship?

What makes an effective leader?

How do digital citizenship practices affect boys’ lives?

Suggested Curriculum Levels

Grade Level Ages Scouting Level

Kindergarten – First Grade 5 – 7 Tiger Cub Scouts

Second – Third Grades 7 – 9 Wolf and Bear Cub Scouts

Fourth – Fifth Grades 9 – 11 Webelos

Middle School 11 – 14 Boy Scouts

High School 14 – 18 Boy Scouts


Scope and Sequence

Topic 1: The Language of Peer Aggression Kindergarten – First Grade boys will be able to:

Define roles in bullying situation: aggressor and target.

Provide examples of hurtful teasing.

Literature connection: Just Kidding by Trudy Ludwig. Second – Third Grade boys will be able to:

Define roles in bullying situation: aggressor and target.

Define and provide examples of relational aggression. Fourth – Fifth Grade boys will be able to:

Define, differentiate, and provide examples of the types of aggression: physical, verbal, and relational.

Define roles in a bullying situation: aggressor and target. Middle School boys will be able to:

Identify types of aggression: physical, verbal, and relational.

Identify roles in a bullying situation: aggressor and target.

Define revenge and provide alternatives to using revenge. High School boys will be able to:

Identify types of aggression: physical, verbal, and relational.

Identify roles in a bullying situation: aggressor and target.

Evaluate the intensity of a bullying situation on a continuum from low levels of aggression to high levels of aggression.

Topic 2: The Bystander Kindergarten – First Grade boys will be able to:

Assess the impact a third party intervention can have on an object reaching a target.

Define the role of a bystander in a bullying situation.

Demonstrate in a role play bystander strategies to change the outcome of a bullying situation.

Second – Third Grade boys will be able to:

Review the terms relational aggression, aggressor, and target.


Assess the degree to which a bystander can shift power in a bullying situation. Fourth – Fifth Grade boys will be able to:


List emotions elicited by bystanders in a bullying situation.

Predict possible outcomes of a bullying situation based on bystander intervention. Middle School boys will be able to:


Evaluate conflicting emotions regarding bystander interventions.

Generate a list of proactive solutions for a bystander in a bullying situation and role play using the solutions.

High School boys will be able to:


Identify the role of the bystander in a bullying situation.

Assess the degree to which bystanders can change the outcome of a bullying situation.

Provide positive solutions for bystanders to use in a bullying situation.

Identify situations in which bystanders should intervene, seek help, or avoid intervening.

Topic 3: Normative Beliefs Kindergarten – First Grade boys will be able to:

Define the terms social norms and emotion.

Identify and label emotions: sad, happy, angry, and confused.

Match appropriate emotions to proposed situations. Second – Third Grade boys will be able to:

Define the terms social norms and emotion.

Identify and label emotions: sad, happy, angry, confused, surprised, upset, worried, excited.

Model facial expressions to match emotions.

Match appropriate emotions to proposed situations. Fourth – Fifth Grade boys will be able to:

Differentiate norms and rules.

Assess the degree to which norms and rules can be changed.

Analyze anti‐bullying laws Middle School boys will be able to:

Identify and evaluate attributes of male gender role in society.

Determine positive attributes of role models to be emulated by boys. High School boys will be able to:

Identify normative beliefs regarding adolescent male life.

Determine whether specific normative beliefs are positive or negative.

Compare and contrast male and female gender roles.

Topic 4: Friendship Kindergarten – First Grade boys will be able to:

1. Identify positive qualities of others, even if they are not considered friends. 2. Identify ways to be helpful or establish friendship.

Second – Third Grade boys will be able to: 3. Identify positive qualities of friends. 4. Reflect and determine which qualities of friends the student would like to possess. 5. Create a definition for the term friendship.

Fourth – Fifth Grade boys will be able to: 6. Identify positive qualities of friends. 7. Identify shared interests within the group. 8. Assess the role of shared interests in establishing friendships.

Middle School boys will be able to:

Assess friendships as healthy or unhealthy.

Assign positive attributes to others within the group.

Reflect on attributes that have been assigned to boys by peers. High School boys will be able to:

Identify positive requisites for establishing friendships.


Create strategies for sustaining healthy friendships.

Distinguish between a healthy and an unhealthy relationship.

Topic 5: Leadership Kindergarten – First Grade boys will be able to:

9. Identify the role of leadership in a game of Spiders and Snakes 10. Follow directions from a leader in the pyramid activity.

Second – Third Grade boys will be able to:

Define leadership and identify qualities of a leader.

Identify what qualities of a superhero define him as a leader.

Design a superhero with qualities of a supportive leader. Fourth – Fifth Grade boys will be able to:

Differentiate between a supportive leader and an aggressive leader.

Define qualities of a supportive leader. Middle School boys will be able to:

Define qualities of a leader.

Distinguish when to follow a leader and when not to follow a leader. High School boys will be able to:

Identify leadership in a group setting.

Assume the role of either leader or follower when assigned.

Assess the necessity of leadership skills in today’s job market.

Topic 6: Cyberbullying Kindergarten – First Grade boys will be able to:

Define the term cyberbullying.

Compare and contrast bullying in person and bullying on the computer.

Draw or write an “e‐motion mail” to send to others in the class.

Provide examples of ways to use the computer for positive communication. Second – Third Grade boys will be able to:

Define the term cyberbullying.

Classify video games based on the following features: people being nice to others, people being mean to others, physical aggression and violence, teamwork.

Identify positive ways for using computer games. Fourth – Fifth Grade boys will be able to:

1. Compare and contrast verbal and nonverbal communication. 2. Identify common emoticons and Internet abbreviations. 3. Assess the writer’s intentions in ambiguously written statements.

Middle School boys will be able to:

Compare and contrast acts of aggression based on level of harm towards the target, degree of anonymity, and size of the bystander audience.

Define anonymity.

Define cyberbullying.

Create a list of Cyber Rules for safe Internet usage. High School boys will be able to:


Define and identify cyberbullying.

Make a list of “shareable” and “unshareable” information and media to be used on social networking sites.

List rules for respecting the privacy of others online.


Activities by Topic and Grade Level

Language of Peer

Aggression

The Role of the

Bystander

Normative Beliefs

Friendship Leadership Cyberbullyin

g

K‐1 1. Just Kidding

Story

Exploration

2. Puppets

3. Just Kidding

Story

Discussion

4. It Happened

to Me…

1. Bystander

Catch

2. Just Kidding

in the Middle

3. Puppet Role

Play

1. Emotion

Matching/

Memory

2. Emotions in

Motion

1. Welcome

Game

2. Friendship

People

1. Spiders and

Snakes

2. Pyramid

Activity

1. What is Cyber‐

bullying?

2. E‐Motion Mail

2‐3 1. Finding a

Target

2. “Can’t you

take a joke,

kid?”

1. An Invitation

2. Power Shift

1. Emotion

Museum

2. Social Norms

Collage

1. Building the

Best Friend

2. Friendship

Chain

1. Super Hero

Creation

1. What do you

see in computer

games?

2. Do computer

games

cyberbully?

3. Positive computer

gaming

4‐5 1. Getting to

Know Joe

2. Defining Peer

Aggression

3. Target

Practice

1. Bullying

Scenario

Review

2. Masks

3. Thinking

Bubbles

1. Norms vs.

Rules

2. Changing

Norms and

Rules

3. Anti‐Bullying

Laws

1. Interest Bingo

2. Interest Web

1. Supportive

Leader/

Aggressive

Leader

2. Desert Divide

Game

1. Net Speak

Charades

2. Emoticons

Quiz

3. Verbal vs.

Nonverbal

Communi‐

cation

MS 1. Throw Away

Aggression

2. Roles in a

Bullying

Situation

1. Role Review

2. Bystander

Toolbox

3. Bystander

Role Play

4. Good

Samaritan

Laws

1. Circle Game

2. “Man”‐

nequins

1. The Flow of

Friendship

2. The Friend in

Me

1. Follow the

Leader

2. Quotation

Inspiration

1. Comparing

Continuums

2. Internet and

Cell Phone

Contracts

3. Cyber Rules

HS 1. Anthony’s

Story

2. Peer

Aggression

Continuum

1. Matt’s Story

2. Upstander

Strategies

3. Bystander

Stoplight

1. Norm’s

College Fair

2. Boys vs. Girls

1. Friendship by

the Book

2. Unhealthy

Friendship

Prescriptions

1. Untangling

Leadership

2. A‐Mazing

Leadership

3. Leading the

Job Market

1. TMI – Too

Much

Information

2. Respecting

Others’

Privacy

3. Sexting and

Cyber‐bullying


National Standards

This curriculum is aligned with the following standards supported by national organizations: National Council of Teachers of English / International Reading Association Standards

1. Students read a wide range of print and non‐print texts to build an understanding of texts, of themselves, and of the cultures of the United States and the world; to acquire new information; to respond to the needs and demands of society and the workplace; and for personal fulfillment. Among these texts are fiction and nonfiction, classic and contemporary works. 3. Students apply a wide range of strategies to comprehend, interpret, evaluate, and appreciate texts. They draw on their prior experience, their interactions with other readers and writers, their knowledge of word meaning and of other texts, their word identification strategies, and their understanding of textual features (e.g., sound‐letter correspondence, sentence structure, context, graphics). 11. Students participate as knowledgeable, reflective, creative, and critical members of a variety of literacy communities. 12. Students use spoken, written, and visual language to accomplish their own purposes (e.g., for learning, enjoyment, persuasion, and the exchange of information).

Center for Disease Control: National Health Education Standards “Health is affected by a variety of positive and negative influences within society… [Health includes] identifying and understanding the diverse internal and external factors that influence health practices and behaviors among youth, including personal values, beliefs, and perceived norms.” (CDC, 2008, http://www.cdc.gov/healthyyouth/sher/standards/2.htm)

2. Students will analyze the influence of family, peers, culture, media, technology, and other factors on health behaviors. 4. Students will demonstrate the ability to use interpersonal communication skills to enhance health and avoid or reduce health risks. 5. Students will demonstrate the ability to use decision‐making skills to enhance health. 6. Students will demonstrate the ability to use goal setting skills to enhance health. 8. Students will demonstrate the ability to advocate for personal, family, and community health.


International Society for Technology in Education: National Educational Technology Standards for Students

5. Digital Citizenship: Students understand human, cultural, and societal issues related to technology and practice legal and ethical behavior.

National Council for the Social Studies: Curriculum Standards for Social Studies

4. Social studies programs should include experiences that provide for the study of individual development and identity. 8. Social studies programs should include experiences that provide for the study of relationships among science, technology, and society.


Lesson One: The Language of Peer Aggression This lesson sets the stage for the lessons that follow by creating a common language to describe peer aggression. Boys will be introduced to the types of aggression: physical, verbal, and relational. Boys will also identify two roles played in aggressive incidents: aggressor and target. By using consistent language to describe behaviors common to all bullying situations, children become able to understand what is happening, what their roles are, and how they can help change the dynamics.

Objectives: Upon completion of this lesson, boys will be able to… 1. Define, differentiate, and provide examples of the types of aggression: physical,

verbal, and relational. 2. Define roles in a bullying situation: aggressor and target.

Assessments: Boys will provide examples of the different types of aggression during a class

discussion in the Defining Peer Aggression activity. (Objective 1)

Boys will identify the type of aggression, aggressor, and target in a bullying situation in the Target Practice activity. (Objectives 1, 2)

Vocabulary: Aggressor: The person who chooses to hurt or damage a relationship. A bully.

Target: The person who is aggressed upon or bullied. The object of bullying.

Relational Aggression: Behavior that is intended to harm someone by damaging or manipulating his or her relationships with others

Physical Aggression: Harm through damage or threat of damage to another’s physical well‐being

Verbal Aggression: Obvious and/or hidden verbal acts of aggression toward another, such as threats, putdowns and name calling

Materials: Picture of a boy similar to those within the group

“Getting to Know Joe” page (Appendix B). Prior to the lesson, copy the page and cut out the rectangles with prompts about Joe’s life.

Poster board or chart paper

Glue sticks


Bullying situations scenarios (Appendix C)

Arrows and Targets template (Appendix D) – make 3 copies

Activities: Getting to Know Joe

1. Introduce boys to a picture of a boy similar to those within the group. His name will be Joe – and he truly is an “average Joe.” He is your typical ten year old boy and shares many interests with members of the group.

2. Divide boys into pairs or small groups and split the prompts evenly between the groups. Tell boys to complete the prompts about Joe similar to responses that they would give themselves. Remind boys that criticisms and put‐downs are not allowed during these lessons. This is a safe place where all members of the group, including Joe, are valued and supported by others. Give groups 3‐5 minutes to complete their prompts.

3. Glue the picture of Joe to the center of a piece of poster board or chart paper. Have each group come up and share their responses to the prompts about Joe and glue their papers around Joe’s picture. If there are conflicting responses, have the two groups come to a compromise that they feel will best represent the character that they are creating.

4. Remind boys that they are to treat Joe as if he were a living, breathing member of the group. Include Joe in all group activities for the remainder of the lessons. At first boys may feel silly and make jokes at Joe’s expenses. These instances can provide opportunities to role play positive solutions for dealing with peers and encouraging cooperation among group members.

Defining Peer Aggression

1. Ask boys: What are some of the hard things that Joe and other boys your age deal with? (family issues, school issues, etc.) Joe says that issues with other boys are sometimes hard. Is this true for you?

2. Explain to boys that one of the issues that many kids deal with is peer aggression. Peer aggression involves an imbalance of power. This means that someone uses his power to hurt another person. Power can be in strength, size, social status, age, popularity, money, athletic ability, etc.

3. Sometimes the motivation for aggression is revenge; someone has hurt or offended you and you retaliate with more aggression. This is not okay; you then become an aggressor, and keep the cycle of aggression going.

4. What are some of the ways that boys are mean to each other? 5. Introduce the vocabulary terms physical aggression, verbal aggression, and

relational aggression. Tell boys that all types of aggression can damage friendships. 6. Make three columns on a poster board or whiteboard, labeled: physical, verbal, and

relational. Ask boys to provide examples of each type of aggression and list the examples under each heading. Some examples can include:


Physical : hitting, kicking, punching

Verbal: name‐calling, put‐downs, sarcasm, racial, sexual or religious slurs

Relational: gossiping, rumor‐spreading, intentional exclusion, cyberbullying, verbal or physical aggression done in front of others with the intent of humiliating the target

Target Practice: 1. Introduce the vocabulary terms aggressor and target. Explain to boys that all acts of

peer aggression, whether physical, verbal, or relational involve both of these roles. Some acts may have multiple aggressors or targets as well.

2. Tell boys, “Joe has been noticing some acts of peer aggression in the cafeteria at lunchtime.” Split boys into three groups, and provide each with a scenario, and an arrows and target template. Have boys read each scenario and then fill in the template according to the labels on the arrow and target. Based on the boys’ interpretation of the events in the scenario, responses may vary and this is fine. Encourage discussion and have boys explain their reasoning for response.

3. When all groups are finished, have each group present its scenario to the group.

Closure: 1. Review the three types of aggression with boys. 2. Lead a discussion using the following processing points:

Do you witness bullying situations often in school similar to the scenarios from this lesson?

How do you think aggressors pick their targets? Can targets be friends? What feelings to targets often feel? Do these feelings vary based on the type of

bullying?

What type of aggression is the easiest to identify? Is it sometimes harder to identify aggression?

Note: Save Bullying Scenarios and Arrows and Targets templates for the next lesson.


Lesson Two: The Bystander

In the first lesson, boys were introduced to the roles of aggressor and target in a bullying situation. This lesson introduces the third role in a bullying situation: the bystander. Bystanders include the person or persons who are not aggressors or targets but are caught somewhere in between. They are often scared, stuck and silent. Although they are not aggressors or targets, kids in the middle are involved in the aggression and have the potential to take action to change the situation for the target. Research tells us that bystanders experience many of the same emotions and somatic responses as the target. Research also suggests that if bystanders choose to get involved in some way that supports the target, they have a good chance of being successful in shifting power away from the aggressor. The role of the bystander is critical when aggression occurs.

Objectives: Upon completion of this lesson, boys will be able to… 1. Define the role of a bystander in a bullying situation. 2. List emotions elicited by bystanders in a bullying situation. 3. Predict possible outcomes of a bullying situation based on bystander intervention.

Assessment: Boys will review Bullying Scenarios from Lesson One and identify bystanders in the

Bullying Scenario Review activity. (Objective 1)

Boys will create masks to show the emotions experienced both internally and externally by bystanders in the Masks activity. (Objectives 1, 2)

Boys will list thoughts of bystanders resulting from Upstander strategies in the Thinking Bubble Activity. (Objectives 2, 3)

Boys will role play possible outcomes of Bullying Scenario 1 in the lesson Closure. (Objective 3)

Vocabulary: Bystander: The person or persons who are not aggressors or targets but are caught

somewhere in between.

Upstander: A bystander who comes to the aid of a target.

Materials:


Bullying Scenarios (Appendix C) and Arrows and Targets Template (Appendix D) from first lesson

Mask materials: Paper plates, popsicle sticks, tape, markers, scissors

Thinking Bubbles template (Appendix E)

KIM actions cut from template

Paper bag or box

Activities: Bullying Scenario Review

1. Break boys into three groups (use same groups as the previous lesson). Distribute Bullying Scenarios and Arrows and Target templates form Lesson One. Give boys a moment to review their work.

2. Ask boys to read the Bullying Scenarios again. Instead of noticing the targets and aggressors, ask them to identify anyone else present in the scenario. List these other characters on the flags on the back of the arrow on the template.

3. Introduce the vocabulary terms bystander and upstander. Tell the boys that the characters listed on the flags of the arrows are bystanders. They are witnesses to the bullying scenarios and have the ability to change a bullying situation.

Masks 1. Tell boys that bystanders often experience a range of emotions. They may want to

change a bullying situation but do not know how. They do not want to become the next target of an aggressor. They often have many conflicting feelings about the acts they are witnessing.

2. Give each boy a paper plate. Cut out holes for eyes and tape a Popsicle stick to the bottom to hold the mask.

3. On outside of plate (convex), draw expression that a bystander might have while witnessing (or taking part in) an incident in which a kid is being made fun of or hurt in some way.

4. On the inside of the plate, draw expression that illustrates what a bystander might be thinking and feeling on the inside (scared, confused, angry, sad, etc.).

5. Say to boys: When someone is being targeted, he sees your outside face. If your face does not show sympathy or a willingness to help, the target feels even more isolated. If the bystander is feeling confused, or conflicted he may be affected just as much as the target.

Thinking Bubbles 1. Break boys into the same groups with the Bullying Scenarios. Provide each group

with a Thinking Bubble template. 2. Have boys write the name/names of any bystanders at the top of each bubble and

then list the thoughts or feelings that the bystander might be feeling at this time.


3. Have each group choose two Bystander Strategies (Appendix F) from a paper bag. Tell the boys that these are actions the bystander may choose to take. List any additional thoughts or feelings that may result from the bystander.

4. Have boys present their thought bubbles to the group.

Closure: 1. Read Bullying Scenario One. The facilitator will then role play the part of Brad. Ask

for volunteers or assign boys to the roles of Kyle, Mario, and others at the lunch table. The poster of Joe will play the role of Joe, who does not speak or react to the bullying.

2. Encourage the bystanders (Kyle, Mario, and others) to use upstander strategies to change the situation. Feel free to use some of the strategies from the Thinking Bubbles activity.

3. Lead a discussion using the following processing points:

How can bystanders change the outcome in the bullying situation?

Can bystanders join either an aggressor or a target? Do bystanders have to take action? What feelings of bystanders can cause them to take action or avoid action?

Do bystanders have a responsibility to do something about a bullying situation? 4. Create a list of upstander strategies to use when witnessing a bullying situation.


Lesson Three: Normative Beliefs Normative beliefs address the relationship between what we believe and how we act. Our beliefs, whether true or false, often predict how we act. Norms are social rules that govern behaviors. They may also be based on truths or falsehoods. They can make classrooms, schools, and neighborhoods feel comfortable, fun, and socially safe, or they can make them feel uncomfortable and unsafe.

Objectives: Upon completion of this lesson, boys will be able to… 1. Differentiate norms and rules. 2. Assess the degree to which norms and rules can be changed. 3. Analyze anti‐bullying laws

Assessments: Boys will determine whether statements are norms or rules and place them under

the proper heading on a chart in the Norms vs. Rules activity. (Objective 1)

Boys will identify unacceptable norms and identify how norms can be changed in the Changing Norms and Rules activity. (Objective 2)

Boys will read anti‐bullying legislation from their home state and discuss its impact as a norm enforced by a law in the Anti‐Bullying Laws activity. (Objective 3)

Boys will participate in a discussion regarding the relationship between norms and rules/laws in the lesson Closure. (Objectives 1, 2, 3)

Vocabulary: Normative Beliefs (Norms): Self‐regulating beliefs about the appropriateness of social

behavior

Materials: Norm/rules cut from template (Appendix G)

Norms/Rules Worksheet (Appendix H) – 3 copies

Computer and projector or multiple computers for small group/ individual use

Copy of school bullying code (obtain from school offices or handbook) *If computer access is unavailable, the facilitator can access the website in the online investigation and print out the appropriate information for the boys to read.

Activities:


Norms vs. Rules 1. Introduce the vocabulary term normative beliefs. This term can be shortened to

“norms.” Norms are social rules that tell us how we are supposed to act. They define expected “normal” behavior, even though what is the norm is not always right or good. Norms differ from rules in that while rules are established and formal, norms are often unspoken. They can make classrooms, schools, and neighborhoods feel comfortable, fun, and socially safe, or they can make them feel uncomfortable and unsafe. Make the following points:

Some rules are laws.

Norms are based on common beliefs, which may be false.

Some norms and rules can help us feel safe and comfortable.

Some norms and rules can make us feel unsafe or uncomfortable. 2. Create a chart with two columns on the board or on chart paper with a column for

Norms and the other column for Rules/Laws. Ask boys for examples of each and write them in the proper column.

3. Cut out the examples on the Norms and Rules template (Appendix G). Boys take turns—they randomly choose from the norm/rule papers, and tape papers in the appropriate column.


Which is easier to ignore, a norm or a rule? Why? Just because a group of people share a common belief, and it becomes a norm,

does that make the belief acceptable or appropriate? (Give examples such as racism, underage drinking, “little white lies”)

Changing Norms and Rules 1. Have boys put a star next to any norms or rules on the list they feel are unsafe,

unfair, or inappropriate and are in need of change. As a group, choose the top three from the list of norms/rules to change.

2. Break boys into three groups and assign each group one of the norms/rules that need changed. Have boys fill out the Changing Norms/Rules worksheet. When all groups are done, have each group share its worksheet with the other groups.

3. On chart paper, have boys write as a group a declaration statement for positive change regarding the norms they have deemed unacceptable. Use the following example, or write a declaration of your own. Example: We, (name of group), declare that (list one unacceptable norm) is unacceptable. We will change this norm by (list positive solutions for change). It is our responsibility to us and others to promote normative beliefs that support the safety and well being of all people.

4. Have each boy sign his name to the declaration. 5. Make a declaration for each of the three norms that were discussed in groups. Hang

declarations in a public place and encourage others in the school/community to sign the declaration as well.


Closure: 1. Review the difference between norms and rules. 2. Continue to help boys analyze the role and relationships between norms and rules.

Lead a discussion using the following processing points: Smoking used to be socially acceptable for everyone – even pregnant women

and teenagers. Now, many states make it illegal to smoke in public places and it is illegal to purchase cigarettes if you are under 18. Surgeon General’s Warnings on every box tell about the dangers of smoking. What were the reasons behind the changing this norm that smoking is cool? Why were laws enacted to abruptly change this norm?

In the 1930’s, the government tried to fight the norm that intoxication was acceptable by enacting Prohibition – the outlawing of all alcoholic beverages. Prohibition was repealed after 13 year. What do you think prevented this law from changing norms about drinking? What norms do we hold about alcohol use now? Are there rules/laws restricting alcohol use?

Are there any norms that you think are fine now that may be deemed unacceptable in the future? Why?

Are there any norms that you think should be further enforced by rules or laws?

Why do you think some norms become rules or laws and other do not?

Online Investigation: Anti‐Bullying Laws1. Tell boys: Many people believe that bullying is a norm – it is an acceptable part of

growing up. However, a growing number of people are challenging that norm and even outlawing it.

2. If there is computer access for the group, or if it is possible to hook up a computer to a projector, show boys the website http://www.bullypolice.org. Choose your state to see if it has bullying legislation. Read the law with the group.

3. If your state does not have specific bullying legislation, view a neighboring state that has a bullying law. Have boys propose a similar law for their own state.

4. Compare the state bullying law with school rules regarding bullying. 5. Lead a discussion using the following processing points:

Are attitudes about bullying norms or rules?

Are the state laws and school rules consistent with norms about bullying? Why or why not?

In the case of anti‐bullying laws, beliefs about bullying became enacted into laws. Does it seem right for laws to enforce beliefs?

What other norms can you think of that are enforced by laws or rules?


Lesson Four: Friendship

What are the qualities we look for and admire in our friends? What are the characteristics of healthy relationships? How do boys connect to each other and establish friendships? In this lesson boys explore the ways we define friendship and connect with others.

Objectives:

Upon completion of this lesson, boys will be able to… 11. Identify positive qualities of friends. 12. Identify shared interests within the group. 13. Assess the role of shared interests in establishing friendships.

Assessments: Boys will identify their own interests and interests of others in the group in the

Interest Bingo activity. (Objective 2) Boys will observe the interconnectedness of interests within the group through the

Interest Web activity. (Objective 2, 3) Boys will create posters with their own definition of friendship and illustrate positive

qualities of friendship in the lesson Closure. (Objective 1)

Vocabulary: Friendship: have boys create their own definition as a group

Materials: Interest Bingo Cards (Appendix I)

Joe (from Lesson One)

Ball of yarn or string

Activities: Interest Bingo

1. Distribute an Interest Bingo Card to each boy and explain the directions as written on the card. Boys should circulate through the group. Remind boys that each boy in the room can only sign a card once, and they cannot sign their own card. The facilitator should carry the poster of Joe and sign cards as if he were Joe.

2. After about five minutes, end the game and have all boys sit with their cards. Have boys count how many boxes they got signed. Whoever has the most signatures wins the game. (A small prize may be awarded or simply have the group applaud.)


3. Ask boys: Which boxes were the easiest to have someone sign? Which boxes were harder to find someone to sign? Discuss responses. Remind boys that sometimes norms may make it harder for someone to admit to liking things that may not be liked by many people.

4. Tell boys: Everyone enjoys something. Some people enjoy many things. Regardless of what a person may enjoy, everyone’s interests are an important part of who they are. We tend to like people who like the same things we do, but it is also fun to be around people who like something different else.

Interest Web 1. Have boys look at their Bingo card and sign every box that contains something they

like. Tell them to look at their cards and notice who in the group shares interests with them.

2. Seat boys in a circle with their Bingo cards on the floor in front of them. The facilitator will once again play the part of Joe. Joe will hold a ball of yarn or string. He will look at his card and find an interest he shares with someone else. He should tell the group, “Ben (name of boy who has signed Joe’s card) and I both like pizza.” Joe will then hold an end of the string and toss the ball to Ben. Ben will in turn find something on his card that he shares with another member of the group and, while holding on to the string, toss the ball to another group member.

3. Continue the activity until all boys are connected to at least three other people in the group. The string should cross the circle many times and even look a bit messy.

4. Tell the group: We can use our interests to connect with others and build friendships. We are all connected to each other by our common interests. It is possible to build friendships with people our current friends are connected too.


Why do you think we seek out people who have common interests as friends?

Can you be friend with someone who doesn’t share your interests? How can you create connections with these people?

Look at the web, it is tangled and messy. Can friendships also get tangled, messy, and seemingly out of control?

Can tangled friendships be straightened out? How? Other than common interests, what do you look for when making new friends?

Does every person have some potential to be your friend? 6. Remind boys that every person does have potential to be your friend, but some

people it takes more to establish a connection. Building friendships takes work and effort but everyone is capable of building healthy relationships with others.

Closure: 1. Have boys list words that come to mind when they hear the word friendship. Record

answers on the board or on chart paper. 2. Break boys into small groups and have them write their own definition for friendship


and create a poster displaying their definition along with symbols of friendship. 3. Share posters with the group and display them.


Lesson Five: Leadership

What is leadership? Supportive leaders are those who include others, recognize the importance of team work, give positive feedback, and maximize everyone’s abilities. Leaders who lead by intimidation, manipulation, exclusion, and negative use of power can be termed aggressive leaders. In this lesson, boys compare the qualities that mark supportive leaders and those that suggest aggressive leaders.

Objectives: Upon completion of this lesson, boys will be able to . . . 1. Differentiate between a supportive leader and an aggressive leader. 2. Define qualities of a supportive leader.

Assessments: Boys will list the qualities of specific leaders and then classify the qualities as

supportive or aggressive in the Supportive Leader/Aggressive Leader activity. (Objective 1)

Boys will identify instructions from a leader as supportive or aggressive in the Desert Divide Game. (Objective 1)

Boys will write a letter to a supportive leader identifying the qualities that make that leader supportive in the lesson Closure. (Objective 2)

Vocabulary: Leadership: the ability to lead

Materials: Paper

Crayons, markers, or colored pencils

Desert Divide board game (Appendix J) – make three copies of the game board and cards

Pennies – one for every boy in the group

Small glass of water for every boy in the group

Activities: Supportive Leader/Aggressive Leader

1. Introduce the vocabulary term leadership. Tell boys that leaders can take many forms. Leaders can be friends, coaches, politicians, religious figures, parents,


community members. Everyone has the potential to be a leader. Some leaders want to help their followers while others only use their followers to reach the leader’s own goals – whether good or bad.

2. Ask boys if they can name any leaders. Record each answer on a separate sheet of paper.

3. Once a satisfactory list has been established, break boys into several small groups and divide the papers with leaders’ names between the groups. Have no more than three papers per group. Tell boys to list qualities of the leader that help the leader to gain followers. Examples may include: intelligent, friendly, intimidating, good‐looking, etc.

4. Bring boys back together as a large group. Create a chart with the headings “Supportive Leader” and “Aggressive Leader.” Have boys share qualities of leaders that they wrote on their papers, and decide which column the qualities belong under. Some qualities may fall under both categories (ex: communicates well) and this is ok as long as boys can justify inclusion in a category.


Are there any descriptions that are more difficult to classify than others?

What qualities fall under both categories? What is it about these qualities that draw followers to a leader?

Which qualities under the Supportive Leader quality make a follower feel supported and secure?

Which qualities under the Aggressive Leader intimidate followers and can make them uncomfortable?

Why do some people choose to follow Aggressive Leaders?

Are there times where it may be good to follow and Aggressive Leader? Bring up the example of a military drill sergeant who may degrade soldiers during boot camp to create more determination to get through training. Under what circumstances (if any) is being an Aggressive Leader justified as a means to an end?

6. Tell boys to briefly return to their groups and determine whether the leaders they have papers for are supportive or aggressive. Each leader may possess qualities of each, but now they are to look at the overall demeanor and purpose of the leader.

7. Have boys share their decisions with the group. Ask the rest of the group if they agree with the small groups’ classification as supportive or aggressive. Encourage discussion to determine which category the leaders should fall under.

Desert Divide Game 1. Tell boys: “Imagine we are all stuck in the middle of the desert, and getting very

thirsty. We will break into three separate traveling groups, each with a map to the Oasis.” Show boys the Desert Divide Game board, and then explain that each boy’s journey to the oasis will be represented by a penny.

2. Continue with instructions: “The directions for getting to the oasis were written by two different desert leaders. One is a supportive leader, and one is an aggressive


leader. The supportive leader wants everyone to make it together and leads along the green path. The aggressive leader wants you to get to the oasis as quickly as possible, regardless of others’ progress. The aggressive leader leads along the sand colored path. To move towards the oasis, take a direction card and follow the directions that are there. If you feel the directions come from the aggressive leader, move up the sand colored path; if you feel the directions come from the supportive leader, move up the green path.” Tell boys when they reach the oasis, they may have a small glass of water.

3. Break boys into three groups. Provide each group with a game board, set of instruction cards, and a penny and glass of water for each player.

4. When all groups have finished the game, bring the group together for a discussion using the following processing points: Did each leader help you to move towards your goal of the oasis? Did any of the instructions bother you or make you uncomfortable when you had

to follow them? Why? If you had to push someone backwards to move ahead, how did that make you

feel? Do you ever have to do this in life? Do people use bribes or threats to get you to follow them? How do you react?

Can bribes be good in some situations? Think of the leaders in your life. Are they aggressive or supportive?

5. Remember that you always have a choice as to whom you are going to follow, and how you are going to lead. Aggressive leaders may help you in reaching a goal, but it often comes at a cost to yourself or others. The aggressive leader cares most about how he reaches the goal and is not concerned with the progress of others. Supportive leaders help everyone to reach a common goal, and take into account the thoughts and feelings of everyone in the group as your move towards your goal.

Closure: 1. Have boys write a letter to the supportive leader of their choice. It can be someone

they know personally such as a favorite teacher, or it can be a public figure such as the president. Feel free to use an example from the Supportive Leader / Aggressive Leader activity. Boys should tell the leader what qualities of the leader are admirable and why this person is a supportive leader.

2. Boys may volunteer to share their letter with the group. Encourage boys to find an address to send their letter to the leader they have chosen.


Lesson Six: Cyberbullying

Peer aggression on the Internet, referred to as “cyberbullying,” has been called the “new frontier of aggression.” The online environment allows aggression to be covert and indirect. Comments can be ambiguous, harmless jokes can be taken seriously, and someone who wants to take a swing at someone can mask their aggression with a “LOL” (laugh out loud) or “jk” (just kidding), leaving their target confused at best. Social networking and instant communication technologies are a breeding ground for spreading rumors, gossip and intentional relational aggression.

Objectives: Upon completion of this lesson, boys will be able to . . . . 4. Compare and contrast verbal and nonverbal communication. 5. Identify common emoticons and Internet abbreviations. 6. Assess the writer’s intentions in ambiguously written statements.

Assessments: Boys will identify emoticons and Internet abbreviations in the Net Speak Charades game.

(Objective 2)

Boys will discuss the differences between verbal and nonverbal communication in the Netspeak Charades and Verbal vs. Nonverbal Communication activities. (Objective 1)

Boys will take the Emoticons Quiz online (Objective 2)

Boys will write an ambiguous statement using Net Speak and demonstrate how it can be interpreted as friendly or sarcastic in the Verbal vs. Nonverbal Communication activity. (Objectives 2, 3)

Boys will write a set of guidelines for online communication. (Objectives 1, 2)

Vocabulary: Cyberbullying: the use of modern communication technologies (such as the Internet

and cell phone) to embarrass, humiliate, threaten, or intimidate individuals in an attempt to gain power and control over them; bullying over the computer or cell phone

Materials:

Net Speak Charades cards (Appendix K) – copy and cut out cards

Computer and projector or multiple computers for small group/ individual use


Activities: Net Speak Charades

1. Place Net Speak Charades cards (Appendix K) upside down on a table. Choose one boy to come up and select a card. Explain that this boy will pantomime a common symbol or abbreviation used in online or text message communications. He cannot speak, but must try to act out what is on his card. The rest of the boys will be guessing what he is acting out. Feel free to expect close enough answers – for example if the symbol is :) it would be ok to accept happy or smiley face.

2. Repeat the game until all the cards have been used. 3. Lead a discussion using the following processing points:

How do people communicate? (talking, body language, telephone, writing, texting, IMing, etc…)

Was it easy to figure out what someone was trying to say if you cannot hear them speak?

What is easier to understand, hearing someone speak, or reading what they wrote? Is there a difference? Why?

Verbal vs. Nonverbal Communication

1. Ask boys: How is verbal communication different from nonverbal communication? 2. Tell boys that communication involves two people. When you communicate to

someone else, you know what you mean when you say or type something, but the receiver of your message may not. Online communication can be even more difficult because non‐verbal cues and tone of voice are nonexistent, and their online counterparts can be misinterpreted.

3. Break boys into eight groups and give each group one of the cards from the charades game. Provide each group with paper and markers. Tell boys to write a statement using the symbol or abbreviation on their card that can be interpreted as a friendly statement or as a sarcastic statement. Give the example: “Nice job today at basketball practice ;‐)” could actually be telling someone they did great at practice today or it could be taken sarcastically to mean that the person really messed up at practice.

Online Activity: Emoticons Quiz1. Visit http://netforbeginners.about.com/od/netiquetteonlineculture/l/blqemoticons1.htm and

take the Emoticons Quiz either as a large group using a projector, in small groups, or individually if there are personal computers available for the boys.

2. See how well boys can identify the emoticons and go through the answers as a group. (The option to see correct answers is available after the quiz has been taken.) Ask boys if any of the emoticons can mean different things. How can boys clarify in online communication the meaning of their emoticons?


4. Come up with a list of other abbreviations or emoticons (symbols that show expressions or emotions) that are commonly used in online communications. Have boys explain what these symbols mean and how they are commonly interpreted.

5. Introduce the vocabulary term cyberbullying. Ask boys for examples of how cyberbullies can take advantage of ambiguous conversation online to confuse and attack a target. (End statements with j/k to make it seem like they are not being insulting, use vague emoticons, leave anonymous messages, etc)


Are written messages always read with the same intention they were written with?

Do cyber targets always know they are being cyberbullied? How can cyberbullies avoid detection or punishment?

Who are the kids in the middle in a cyberbullying situation?

Is it easier for a bully to attack a target online or in person? Why?

Closure

1. Have boys create a list of guidelines to use in online communication that can reduce confusion with written messages and cyberbullying. Examples:

Ask the writer to clarify if you do not understand what he is writing.

Do not use j/k at the end of a statement if you are not really kidding.

If you are not sure if you should or should not write something, DON’T write it. 2. Post the guidelines in the room, and also have boys copy guidelines to post by their

home computer, or in the school computer lab.


Appendices


Appendix A: Vocabulary

Aggressor: The person who chooses to hurt or damage a relationship. A bully.

Bystander: The person or persons who are not aggressors or targets but are caught somewhere in between.

Cyberbullying: the use of modern communication technologies (such as the Internet and cell phone) to embarrass, humiliate, threaten, or intimidate individuals in an attempt to gain power and control over them; bullying over the computer or cell phone

Friendship: have boys create their own definition as a group Leadership: the ability to lead Normative Beliefs (Norms): Self‐regulating beliefs about the appropriateness

of social behavior Physical Aggression: Harm through damage or threat of damage to

another’s physical well‐being Relational Aggression: Behavior that is intended to harm someone by

damaging or manipulating his or her relationships with others Target: The person who is aggressed upon or bullied. The object of bullying. Upstander: A bystander who comes to the aid of a target. Verbal Aggression: Obvious and/or hidden verbal acts of aggression toward

another, such as threats, putdowns and name calling


Appendix B: Getting to Know Joe Cut out the following descriptions of Joe. Joe’s favorite food is: Joe’s favorite school subject is: Joe’s least favorite school

subject is:

Joe’s least favorite food is: After school Joe likes to: Joe’s favorite sports team is:

Joe’s favorite television show is:

Joe likes to read: Something that really bothers Joe is:

Joe’s favorite video game is: Joe is afraid of: Joe wants to be: when he grows up.

Joe’s IPOD playlist includes: Describe Joe’s favorite clothes: Joe wishes he could:

Joe would never: Joe has siblings named: Joe’s bedroom looks like:

Joe gets worried about: Joe feels pressure about: If Joe had $1,000,000 he would:


Appendix C: Bullying Scenarios

Cut out the following scenarios.

Scenario One: Joe’s mother packs his lunch for him. She always writes a note on his napkin to brighten his day. Brad finds the napkin and reads it allowed to the entire table, “You are a valuable person to me. I am glad you are in my life. Mom” Brad then tells Joe mockingly, “I’m glad you’re in my life too Joe. You’re so valuable. How much are you worth?” Brad pulls out his wallet and pretends to count some money. He encourages Kyle and Mario to mock Joe as well and eventually the whole table is making fun of Joe.

Scenario Two: Kenny often brings his lunch from home and eats with Chopsticks. Joe steals Kenny’s chopsticks and starts stabbing at his own sandwich with them. He remarks, “These are so stupid. Haven’t you ever heard of a fork Ken?” He then makes some racial slurs about Kenny’s Chinese culture. Han, another Chinese student, hears the racial slurs and feels hurt by Joe’s words too.

Scenario Three: Connor is walking to the table with his lunch tray when Jackson sticks out his foot and trips Connor. Connor’s lunch goes everywhere as he falls to the ground. Jackson kicks Connor again while he is down, knocking Connors face into a pile of mashed potatoes. Connor is covered in food. Joe has seen everything that has happened and finds a cafeteria worker to tell about the mess on the floor.


Appendix D: Arrows and Targets Template


Appendix E: Thinking Bubbles


Appendix F: Upstander Strategies

Cut out the following Upstander Strategies Say, “He’s just trying to be funny. But maybe it’s not really.”

Change the subject. Ignore the nasty comment, and start talking about something else.

Don’t laugh.

Move to stand closer to the target.

Talk to target afterward, and tell him that you didn’t think that what happened was right.

Ask an adult for help, even if you do it afterward.

Tell the aggressor afterward that you weren’t comfortable with what happened.

Tell the aggressor that it’s just not worth it—let’s leave the kid alone.


Appendix G: Norms and Rules Template Cut out the following examples of norms and rules. Egg and bacon are breakfast foods. It is not okay to steal someone else’s

belongings.

Shake hands when you meet new people.

The speed limit on some highwaysis 55 mph.

It’s okay for girls to cry, but not boys.

Be in the classroom when the bell rings.

It‘s okay to give substitute teachers a hard time.

The drinking age is 21.

Children shouldn’t drink coffee.

Fighting is not allowed at school.

If someone challenges you to a fight, you can’t back down.

The driving age is 16.

Put‐downs are funny. Anything taken out of a store must be paid for.

Do what you need to do to win a game.

Ethnic jokes are ok if they are told by a stand up comedian.

Revenge is ok – everyone deserves a chance to get even.

Girls can’t play football.

When you hurt someone, you make it right.

Curfew is 10:00 PM


Appendix H: Norms/Rules Worksheet Norm/Rule that needs

changed: Who is affected by this norm/rule?

What can you do to promote positive change about this norm/rule?

Why does this norm/rule need changed?


Appendix I: Interest Bingo See if you can find someone in the group who likes the following items. Have someone sign their name in the box with an item they like. Each person can only sign their name once. The person with the most boxes signed wins.

Snow The Beach Hockey Reading

Chocolate Football Roller‐blading

Video Games

Computers Camping Swimming Music

Drawing Fruit Math Road Trips

Skate‐boarding

Puzzles Painting Pizza


Appendix J: Desert Divide Board Game


Desert Divide Game Cards Please take one step closer to the oasis with me.

We are better than other travelers. Let’s move ahead two blocks.

It is necessary that we all move together. I am moving one square forward – will you join me?

Toss your penny to the next square. If you don’t land in the square, you don’t get to advance forward.

Toss your penny so that it lands completely in the next square. Take as many tries as you need.

Only boys with brown eyes may move to the next square.

The water in the oasis looks refreshing. Move yourself and one other player forward so we can all share a drink.

The oasis has a height requirement. If you are over 5 feet tall, move forward.

Look at the beautiful oasis ahead! You can make it! Move one step ahead.

I need to move faster. Stay in this square for a turn and hold my stuff so that I can reach the oasis first.

It helps for everyone to reach the goal together. Move yourself and the person who is farthest from the oasis one square forward.

There’s not enough water at the oasis for everyone. Move one player back a space and move yourself forward!

Your gear looks heavy. I will hold it for you so that you can move one square forward.

You look awful! Shine your penny and you can move forward.

Move one square forward, and choose one friend to move forward to share the space with you so that you do not get lonely on your journey.

Choose one player to send back to the beginning. For as many spaces that you move them back, move yourself forward so we get to the oasis first.


Appendix K: Net Speak Charades Cards

Cut out the following cards for a game of charades.

:) LOL

j/k ROFL

;‐) :’(

BRB <3U

This curriculum guides boys to develop positive strategies for identifying and mediating peer aggression. Other topics include normative beliefs, male gender expectations, friendship, leadership, and the harsh effects of cyberbullying.

Part of a critical issues initiative, this curriculum raises awareness about the nature and impact of relational aggression on the lives of youth.

SIX LESSON TOPICS:

The Language of Peer Aggression

The ByStander

Normative Beliefs

Friendship

Leadership

Cyberbullying

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