the parenting book

8/11/2019 The Parenting Book

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OVIDILIO D. VSQUEZ

ii

THEPARENTING

BOOK

11 Solutions to remedy the perils of

Parenting as Usual

OVIDILIO D. VSQUEZ


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About the AuthorOvidilio D. Vsquez is a leading authority on

motivation. He enjoys delivering motivational speeches for

parents and youth. He is also the founder of Speak

Performance International. Ovidilio came to United

States in 2006 from the sugar cane fields of Aldea (village)

El Chontel of La Gomera Escuintla Guatemala. Hestarted to learn English in 2008 at a suburban high

school. Even though his mom left him all alone in 2009

due to an emergency, Ovidilio D. Vsquez worked swing

shifts in warehouses to support himself through high

school and was able to graduate in 2011.

Once he graduated, Ovidilio received Business

Management classes from Chabot College. In 2013

founded Speak Performance International and is now

traveling across United States motivating parents and

youth. Teaching parents How to Raise Positive Kids in a

Negative Worldand teaching youth How to OvercomeAdversity through an Entrepreneurship Mindset.

Share this on Facebook and Twitter:#OVinspires

@OVinspires

Thefreedom to dream is allowing me the

opportunity to achieve.~Ovidilio D. Vsquez


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DedicationThis book is especially dedicated to five of the most

important people in my life. The order of their names

does not matter. I love them with all my heart. They have

been supporting me in my upbringings since I can

remember. The person I am today is not self-made; I am

very happy to say that I have these incredible people inmy life that have helped me grow wiser and stronger.

To my Mom, Vernica Aviles Sarceo, an incredible

woman who has risked her life several time to be able to

provide me, my brother and my sister a better future. I

love you mom. Thank you for all your hard work and

dedication to my life.

To my girlfriend, Anali A. Muoz, one of the most

loving, patient, and supportive people I have ever met.

She has been helping me push forward for the last five

years of our relationship. Anali is one of the smarted

people also. I have learned so much from her. Thank you

for all you are doing for our relationship.

To my uncle, Juan Carlos Cruz, one of the wisest if

not the wisest men in my family. My Uncle Juan and AnaOrtiz have been there for me during tough times.

Without the help, love, and support from my uncle Juan

and Ana, I would not be where I am today.


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vi

He has been a crucial part of my journey. Thank you

for all your advice. I love you very much Uncle Juan.

Thank you for always believing in me.

To my aunt, Gabriela Cruz Sarceo, one of the

hardest working woman I have ever seen. Thank you for

being there in my high school times when I needed help

the most. You are definitely part of my education

foundation success. Thank you for believing in me andencouraging me to continue to grow as a person. Thank

you for showing me by example to have high standards

when it comes to having a work ethic. Thank you for

gifting me my graduation ring with my Uncle Juan. I love

you and you will always be close to my heart.

To Dr. Thomas, by far the best English teacher I

came across when I barely knew how to say, How are

you? I met Dr.Thomas in a summer class in my high

school. Dr. Thomas had this unique approach to make all

his students talk in class. But, not just talking.

We were speaking in English and I quote English

because we were in English Language Learner class. So,

we did what we could to learn and practice it. There was a

very shy student. She would never talk. She was an

introvert but when Dr. Thomas would get in the room

and start teaching, even she would speak. That is howgood Dr. Thomas is.


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Thank you for being very friendly and engaging

when teaching. I appreciate very much your assistance

with my first book. You will always be part of my success

story.


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OVIDILIO D. VSQUEZ

viii

Content

About the author Pg # iii

Dedication Pg # iv

Contents Pg # vii

Foreword Pg # viii

Acknowledgements Pg # x

Poems Pg # 1

1 Personal Development Pg # 5

2 Communication Pg # 15

3 Depression Pg # 21

4 Sex Pg # 29

5 The Power of Apologies Pg # 37

6 Verbal and/or Physical abuse Pg # 44

7 Drugs Pg # 50

8 Friendly Advice Pg # 56

9 Building Character Pg # 62

10 Self-Esteem Pg # 70

11 Kids Feelings Pg # 79

12 Motivation Pg # 85


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The Parenting Book

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ForewordI met Ovidilio Vasquez in a summer English as a

second language class at Tennyson High School inHayward, California. I was teaching ESL levels 3-5 inone class with three different textbooks representing thethree different levels. Ovidilio had been in the countryless than a year, yet he was in level three. This wasremarkable because it usually takes students five years toprogress through the different levels. On average, secondlanguage learners take five years to attain fluency in aforeign language. Why was Ovidilio moving so quickly?

Why was he a leader in the class even though he was inthe lowest level in that group? Why was he able to

progress out of level three into level four with only a two-month (instead of a year) class?

In short, Ovidilio is a remarkable person! It doesntsurprise me that he is writing his first book at such ayoung age(twenty three years young.) He owes his

success to three character traitshard work, charisma,and happiness. He always works hard and does his bestfor the right reasons. He is not motivated by grades orexternal rewards; he simply wants to improve. He is verycharismatic. As a junior in high school who spoke verylittle English, he rose to leadership roles without tryingpeople simply wanted to get to know him better. Finally,everyone likes to be around happy people. They areinspiring and fun. I am fortunate to have had theexperience of teaching him, yet even better, watching himgrow and develop into a strong young man.


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x

This book and Ovidilios motivational speeches aredesigned to help parents instill the best character traits in

their children by addressing some essential positiveparenting techniques. Ovidilios insights come from hisown personal path to enlightenment as well as hisobservations of his peers.

His youth could easily have been a detriment to hischosen career pathmotivational speaker. Instead it

provides a unique perspective on young people that needsto be heard by parents and young people alike. Enjoy hisbook and, if possible, get him to speak to your localgroup of parents and/or young adults. It will be a part ofyour own personal growth.

Paul M. Thomas, Ed.D.


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The Parenting Book

xi

AcknowledgementsThere are many people I love to thank for

being a part of my life and supported me through myjourney becoming the most successful story of myfamily. You were all an inspiration for this book to

come out to the world.

Mi familia Francisco Chinchilla, RubilaGabriela, (R.I.P. Edilson Chinchilla), Nery, GlenSagastume, Manuel Sagastume, Yoni MauricioSanchez, and Zoila Mariela Ramirez.

My friends, Justin Mendez, Tashina Combs,Randie Ellington, Sabir Lomidze, Luis Hernandez,

Vianey Hernandez, Jose Mendoza, Marina Mendoza,Giovanny Velasquez, Mike Alexander, Julio Palencia,Miguelina Palencia, Humberto Corado, special

gratitude to Quetzalcoatl Garces y Liss Aguilar.

My former teachers now good Friends, PaulM. Thomas, Ed.D., Miroslaba Velo Egonmwan,Donna De Leon, Diana Vazquez, Susan Reneberg,

Melissa Morriss, Amy Kohl, special gratitude to ElsaZamora, and Mama Diana Levy.


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xii

My virtual mentors, the ones responsible formy personal growth Tony Robbins, Jim Rohn, ZigZiglar, Les Brown, Victor Antonio, Brian Tracy, EarlShoaff, John C. Maxwell, Dale Carnegie, Dr. Norman

Vincent Peale, Kevin Trudeau, Joel Osteen,Napoleon Hill, Cesar Lozano, Alex Dey, Ruben

Mata, James Malinchak, Dr. Matt James, AlbertEinstein, Nikola Tesla, T. Harv Eker, RobertKiyosaki, Arnold Schwarzenegger, CharlesTremendous Jones, Og Mandino, W. Clement Stone,Dr. Wayne Dyer, Andrew Carnegie, Dr. Stephen R.Covey, George S. Clason, Lao Tzu, Warrent Buffett,

Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, and many more

In case I missed anyone, all of you have a

very special place in my heart!


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1

Lets begin with poetry that willhopefully inspire you

to go on and read this quick but powerful book. Enjoy!

BY: Diana LoomansIf I had my child to raise over again,

I'd finger paint more, and point the finger less.

I'd do less correcting, and more connecting.

I'd take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes.

I would care to know less, and know to care more.

I'd take more hikes and fly more kites.

I'd stop playing serious, and seriously play.

I'd run through more fields, and gaze at more stars.

I'd do more hugging, and less tugging.

I would be firm less often, and affirm much more.I'd build self-esteem first, and the house later.

I'd teach less about the love of power,

And more about the power of love.

It matters not whether my child is big or small,

from this day forth, I'll cherish it all.

BY: Diana LoomansFrom: 100 Ways to Build Self-Esteem and Teach

Values

Please visit her at:www.dianaloomans.com
http://www.dianaloomans.com/http://www.dianaloomans.com/


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2

Why Kids place parents in

homecare.By: Dr. Charles Larry Psychologist

You didnt feed me, you took me to McDonalds.

You didntplay with me, you bought me a bicycle.

You didnt study with me, you bought me a computer.

You didnt take care of me, you sent me to daycare.

You didnt entertain me, you bought me a DVD.

Why should I take care of you? I dont even know you.

By: Dr. Charles Larry Psychologist


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Besides sharing with you those two beautiful poems,

I want to also help you realize that kids do not see the

world the way we do. How? You might have asked. Allowme to illustrate it with a story.

Seven Wonders of the World

A group of students were asked to list what they thought

were the present "Seven Wonders of the World." Though there weresome disagreements, the following received the most votes:

1. Egypt's Great Pyramids

2. Taj Mahal

3. Grand Canyon

4. Panama Canal5. Empire State Building

6. St. Peter's Basilica

7. China's Great Wall

While gathering the votes, the teacher noted that one student

had not finished her paper yet. So she asked the girl if she washaving trouble with her list. The girl replied, "Yes, a little. I

couldn't quite make up my mind because there were so many."


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The teacher said, "Well, tell us what you have, and maybe we

can help." The girl hesitated, then read, "I think the 'Seven

Wonders of the World' are:

1.

to see

2. to hear

3. to touch

4. to taste

5.

to feel6. to laugh

7. to love

The room was so quiet you could have heard a pin drop. The

things we overlook as simple and ordinary and that we take for

granted are truly wondrous!!

If wealth is the secret to happiness, then the Rich should be

dancing on the streets.

But only Poor Kids do that.

If power ensures security, then top Officials should walkunguarded. But people who live on roadside feel more secure.

If beauty brings ideal relationships, then celebrities should have

the best marriages. But, they frequently have the worst relationships.

That is why... Live simply...Walk humbly Love genuinely!!!

Share this on Facebook and Twitter:#OVinspires @OVinspiresParenting, the toughest job in the world but the one you

should love the most.

~Ovidilio D. Vsquez


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The Parenting Book

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Persnal DevelpmentThe question for this chapter is:

How to become a successful person?

The key answer to this question is: You must educate

yourself first in order to educate others. By reading this

book you are enhancing your skills on how to deal withkids. You will improve the quality of your relationship

with you kids by applying what I will share with you in

this quick but powerful book. Enjoy!

First let me identify successin the words of the

great Earl Nightingale, Success is the progressiverealization of a worthy ideal. Nightingale was the

worldsrenowned self-development guru and author of

The Strangest Secret in the World, Lead the Field, and countless

invaluable productions that have changed millions of lives

including mine.

Once you know what it is you are looking for, you

can find it easier. When you want to travel to X city, most

people use Google Maps, but unless you identify where

you are traveling from it will not tell you how to get to

point B.


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To be more successful I also have been applying advice

from Mr. Warren Buffett

Warren BuffettOn Earnings

Never depend on a single income. Make investment to

create a second source.

On SpendingIf you buy things you do not need, soon you will have to

sell things you need.

On SavingsDo not save what is left after spending, but spend what is

left after saving.

On Taking RisksNever test the depth of a river with both feet.

On InvestmentDo not put all eggs in one basket


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On ExpectationHonesty is a very expensive gift. Do not expect it from

cheap people.

Whether you think you can, or you think you can't--

you're right.

~Henry Ford

When it comes to success, Zig Ziglar, the Worlds

Greatest Motivator, advised us to think of the most

successful person you know. It could be a man, could be

a woman, could be your parents, could be son, could bedaughter, could be cousin, could be neighbor, could be a

preacher, could be a sales person, could be a teacher,

could be a politician, could be a singer, or could be a

writer you get the idea.

Think of the most successful person you know, thisperson has to be someone who if you cannot be you, you

would say, I want to be her or I want to be him. Do

not include a rich person just because he or she is rich.

Many people are rich in many and wealth but very poor in

love. Now, think about what are the qualities that make

that person successful.


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Some qualities could be: somebody with a good

positive mental attitude, someone with great faith,

someone who has a desire to achieve more, someone withenthusiasm, somebody who is a good listener, somebody

with a good sense of humor, somebody who has integrity,

somebody who is consistent, somebody who has love in

their life, somebody who is sincere, somebody who is an

encourager, somebody who is a hard worker, and the list

can continue.

Now, think about this, are you a person who practices

these qualities on a daily basis. Are you working on

acquiring or improving these qualities? When you apply

some effort in you daily routine to become someone with

these qualities, a compound effect begins to take effect.

Think about this- if a person eats a burger with a big

soda on a daily basis, does that person become BIG in

the first two weeks for eating the same portion every day?

Probably not, but since he or she does it daily, the

compound effect eventually kicks in and the person starts

getting BIG. Once they are in that stage more problems

begin to occur. As my good friend Justin Mendez

Keynote Speaker would say in his Mental Breakfast

speech, As days add up to weeks, weeks add up to months, and

months add up to years We reap the bountiful harvest of ourhabits.

What habits are you implementing to get you towards

being a more successful person? The person whom you

choose as a role model, what habits do they have?


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Are you ready to learn from them? Are you ready to

say good bye to some of your habits and say hello to

better ones?

"You have made some mistakes and you may not be

where you want to be...but that has nothing to do

with your future." ~Zig Ziglar

Napoleon Hill in his book Think and Grow Rich

mentioned the importance of a mission statement. Every

successful person carries one with them. That serves as a

focus point. I have included my mission statement that Ideveloped when I made a firm decision to become what I

desired.

Feel free to copy my mission statement and edit it so it

fits your own situation.

Goal: To Get Paid To Speak by July 1st 2013

Im willing to read every day all the material thats needed to deliver a

speech according to the requested topic. Im willing give up Family Guy and

instead, grow and expand my mind in positive terms so I can be able to be,

do, and have more of that which I desire.

Im willing to discipline myself in various situations so that I can make

the choices I have to make instead of choices I want to make. Im open to all

possibilities and willing to go through all the procedures and obstacles that

might come along. Im willing to consciously think and act positive towards all

situations in life, for I know and trust that everything thats happening and

will happen is for my own good.


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Im willing to share 10% of my time and income so I can make an

impact in my greater community. Im committed to stay consistent and work

hard in a smart way to get all this goals through and finally achieve my

desired outcome. I trust and know that I have what it takes; therefore my goal

is closer that I can currently imagine.

My purpose is to express my Willingness to Accept change, willingness

to work hard and willingness to go the extra mile by being committed to do

things differently, by being consistent with labor and by going beyond my goals

to free up one extra day a week for family/personal time, Become aMotivational Speaker, Have more happiness and joy in life and obtain at

least $100,000.00 by 12/19/2013.

I did not reach my goal of getting the $100k but I

did reach my goal of being a paid speaker on 2013. When

you are working towards your personal goal it is not

going to be easy.

Easy is not always on the menu. It is hard and it is

worth it. Be patient, be smart, be persistent, be a good

apprentice, and above all keep the faith. Remember what

Winston Churchill said, Never, ever, ever, ever, ever,

give up.

Share this on Facebook and Twitter:#OVinspires @OVinspires

"Hang around with people who will hold you

accountable for your words! People who dream

bigger than you! People who earn more than you!

People who are smarter than you! Hang aroundthose people and be bold enough to ask for help.

But, make it a WIN-WIN situation. Be willing to

humble yourself and serve!"

~Ovidilio D. Vasquez


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I will also tell you this on the parenting side of

success. Do not aim for perfection. Nobody is perfect; do

not torture yourself with an impossibly high bar forparenting success. According to a study published in 2011

in the journal Personality and Individual Differences, new

parents who believe society expects perfection from them

are more stressed and less confident in their parenting

skills.

And no wonder! Make an effort to ignore the

pressure, and you may find yourself a more relaxed

parent. Remember; Slow and steady. Enjoy every moment

of it. Life is made up of memorable moments. Prepare

yourself every day.

It is better to be prepared for an opportunity and not have one

than to have an opportunity and not be prepared.

~Whitney M. Young, Jr.


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Record your important thoughts and ideas on how to

improve on your Persnal Develpment

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MtivatinThe question for this chapter is:

Will you motivate the kids in school?

Motivation is like bathing. It does not last forever.

That is the main reason why Zig Ziglar recommends it

every day.

Every time I deliver a motivational workshop to

parents on how to raise positive kids in a negative world.

Parents ask me this question, Do you go to schools to

inspire and motivate kids?The answer is, Yes Parents

recommend that I should go to every school possible.

My response is, Yes I do motivate kids butit is the

school that makes the final decision on whether or not I

can come and motivate their students.

If you feel that it would be a great idea for me to

come and motivate your kids in their school, go ahead

and recommend my workshop to the decision maker of

that school or private organization. Many times is the

Community Liaison, Parent Coordinator, the Principal, or

event coordinator who makes the decision.

I also speak in corporations, colleges, privateorganizations, churches, and every place where there are

parents and/or entrepreneurs. Feel free to acquire a book as

a gift for your loved one. They will be grateful to you for

thinking of them.


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What do I talk about when I motivate kids? I tell them

my personal story. Once I have connected with them I tellthem what they want to hear and blend with it what they

need to hear. Overcoming adversity is a huge element in my

talks. Because, when kids are in school there are so many

adversities for them to overcome that if they are not

inspired and/or motivated to go through the finish line, they

will quit.

You do not want your kid to be a drop out. Neither do

I. I want you to be able to be at peace knowing that your kid

is getting the necessary motivation and information for his

or her transformation.


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Record your important thoughts and ideas about what it

is that you learned overall from this great book. Share it

with your friends.www.Facebook.com/OVinspires

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