The Quest for Authentic ManhoodThe Quest for Authentic Manhood

A Man and His Wife, A Man and His Wife, Part 2Part 2

Session 20Session 20

FEMALEBRAIN

Sense ofDirection Nuclei

Sex Particle

1 2 3IrrationalThoughts

Jealousy

Need forCommitmentHemisphere Ice

CreamReceptor

Choc.Center

Argue &Debate Lobe

1 - Phone Skills2 - Shopping3 - Indecision

CommitmentMolecule

Short Attention Span Fragment “Ask for Directions”

Resistance Center

Personal Hygiene Atom

Listening Particle

SEXSports

TV

Interrupt Lobe

MathR.C.

AddictionCenter

LameExcusesGland

StickShift

C.F. Lobe

MALEBRAIN

You husbands likewise, live with your You husbands likewise, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with a wives in an understanding way, as with a weaker vessel, since she is a woman; and weaker vessel, since she is a woman; and

grant her honor as a fellow-heir of the grant her honor as a fellow-heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not grace of life, so that your prayers may not

be hindered.be hindered.

1 Peter 3:7 (NASV)1 Peter 3:7 (NASV)

OUR KEY VERSE …

You husbands must be careful of your You husbands must be careful of your wives, being thoughtful of their needs and wives, being thoughtful of their needs and honoring them … Remember that you and honoring them … Remember that you and your wife are partners in receiving God’s your wife are partners in receiving God’s blessings, and if you don’t treat her as blessings, and if you don’t treat her as you should, your prayers will not get you should, your prayers will not get

ready answers.ready answers.

1 Peter 3:7 (Living Bible)1 Peter 3:7 (Living Bible)

OUR KEY VERSE …

3 MODELS OF MARRIAGE

1.1. The Top-Down The Top-Down Traditional Traditional / LORD/ LORD

2.2. 50-50 50-50 IdenticalIdentical / PARTNER/ PARTNER

3.3. 3. Side-by-Side 3. Side-by-Side Biblical Biblical / HEAD/ HEAD

““CORE”CORE” A small but essential ingredient A small but essential ingredient that every marriage must not that every marriage must not

ignore, neglect, or compromise ignore, neglect, or compromise if it is to be successful overall. if it is to be successful overall.

CORE ISSUES …

CORE ISSUES …

A. Core Roles …That Core Roles …That God givesGod gives a husband and wife in marriage a husband and wife in marriage

CORE ROLES

HELPERHELPER

CORE ROLES

An excellent wife, who can find? Her worth is far An excellent wife, who can find? Her worth is far above jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in above jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in

her and he will have no lack of gain. her and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of She does him good and not evil all the days of

her life. She looks well to the ways of her her life. She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of household and does not eat the bread of

idleness. Her children rise up and bless her; her idleness. Her children rise up and bless her; her husband also, and he praises her, saying, “Many husband also, and he praises her, saying, “Many

daughters have done nobly, daughters have done nobly, but you excel them all.”but you excel them all.”

Proverbs 31:10-12, 27-29Proverbs 31:10-12, 27-29

HELPERHELPER HEADHEAD

CORE ROLES

For the husband is the head of the wife, For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church.as Christ also is the head of the church.

Ephesians 5:23Ephesians 5:23

CORE ISSUES …

A. Core Roles …That Core Roles …That God givesGod gives a husband and wife in marriage a husband and wife in marriage

B.B. Core Responses … That Core Responses … That empowerempower your mate’s role your mate’s role

CORE RESPONSES

You husbands likewise, live with your You husbands likewise, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with a wives in an understanding way, as with a weaker vessel, since she is a woman; and weaker vessel, since she is a woman; and

grant her honorgrant her honor as a fellow-heir of the as a fellow-heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not grace of life, so that your prayers may not

be hindered.be hindered.

1 Peter 3:71 Peter 3:7

Her husband Her husband praises her,praises her, saying, “Many saying, “Many daughters have done nobly, daughters have done nobly,

but you excel them all.”but you excel them all.”

Proverbs 31:28b-29Proverbs 31:28b-29

CORE RESPONSES

Wives, be subject to your husbands Wives, be subject to your husbands as is fitting in the Lord.as is fitting in the Lord.

Colossians 3:18Colossians 3:18

CORE ISSUES …

A. Core Roles …That Core Roles …That God givesGod gives a husband and wife in marriage a husband and wife in marriage

B.B. Core Responses … That Core Responses … That empowerempower your mate’s role your mate’s role

C.C. Core Concerns … That meet your Core Concerns … That meet your mate’s deepest mate’s deepest needsneeds

HELPERHELPER HEADHEAD

CompanionshipCompanionshipAdmirationAdmiration

SupportSupportPhysical ResponsivenessPhysical Responsiveness

CompanionshipCompanionshipSecuritySecurity

SignificanceSignificanceEmotional ResponsivenessEmotional Responsiveness

CORE CONCERNS

COMPANIONSHIPCOMPANIONSHIP

HOW A HUSBAND SPEAKS “WOMAN”

MUST DOMUST DO

Regularly “date” your wife Regularly “date” your wife (and talk about your world and (and talk about your world and

hers).hers).

COMPANIONSHIP

COMPANIONSHIP

CAN DOCAN DO

Develop a common “play Develop a common “play together.” together.”

The couple that plays together, The couple that plays together, stays together.stays together.

COMPANIONSHIP

COURAGE TO DOCOURAGE TO DO

Plan a special “just for you two” Plan a special “just for you two” getaway. It will build great getaway. It will build great

memories, strengthen memories, strengthen your relationship, and your relationship, and encourage romance.encourage romance.

SECURITYSECURITY

HOW A HUSBAND SPEAKS “WOMAN”

MUST DOMUST DO

From time to time, tell your wife, From time to time, tell your wife, “I am committed to you for life!” “I am committed to you for life!”

Your wedding anniversary is a good Your wedding anniversary is a good time to say this or put it in writing.time to say this or put it in writing.

SECURITYSECURITY

CAN DOCAN DO

Establish financial disciplines. Establish financial disciplines. Avoid debt as much as possible. Avoid debt as much as possible.

Develop a long-range security plan for Develop a long-range security plan for your wife that includes:your wife that includes:

• Life insurance• A savings plan

• A health plan• A well thought through will

SECURITYSECURITY

COURAGE TO DOCOURAGE TO DO

Seek to provide financially so that your Seek to provide financially so that your wife doesn’t have to work, especially wife doesn’t have to work, especially

while raising while raising young children.young children.

SECURITYSECURITY

SIGNIFICANCESIGNIFICANCE

HOW A HUSBAND SPEAKS “WOMAN”

MUST DOMUST DO

Regularly tell your wife how much you Regularly tell your wife how much you value what she does and value what she does and

how important she is to you.how important she is to you.

SIGNIFICANCESIGNIFICANCE

CAN DOCAN DO

Surprise your wife with a “note of Surprise your wife with a “note of praise” (praise” (with flowers is even better!with flowers is even better!) or ) or

a special night out just to say “thank a special night out just to say “thank you” for all she does for you.you” for all she does for you.

SIGNIFICANCESIGNIFICANCE

COURAGE TO DOCOURAGE TO DO

From time to time, lavish your wife From time to time, lavish your wife with special gifts: jewelry, a surprise with special gifts: jewelry, a surprise trip, money just to spend on her, etc. trip, money just to spend on her, etc.

The costlier, the better.The costlier, the better.

SIGNIFICANCESIGNIFICANCE

EMOTIONAL EMOTIONAL RESPONSIVENESSRESPONSIVENESS

HOW A HUSBAND SPEAKS “WOMAN”

MUST DOMUST DO

Regularly tell your wife Regularly tell your wife (with a hug), (with a hug), “I love you.”“I love you.”

EMOTIONAL EMOTIONAL RESPONSIVENESSRESPONSIVENESS

CAN DOCAN DO

Learn to say, Learn to say, “So, tell me how you’re doing” “So, tell me how you’re doing”

in a quiet place with in a quiet place with time to listen.time to listen.

EMOTIONAL EMOTIONAL RESPONSIVENESSRESPONSIVENESS

COURAGE TO DOCOURAGE TO DO

On special occasions, let your wife On special occasions, let your wife know know whywhy you love her, with spoken you love her, with spoken

words, a card, or in a poem, etc. Spell words, a card, or in a poem, etc. Spell out out in detailin detail all the things you admire all the things you admire and love about her. Be specific and and love about her. Be specific and

romantic.romantic.

EMOTIONAL EMOTIONAL RESPONSIVENESSRESPONSIVENESS

WHY…SIDE-BY-SIDE BIBLICAL?

A. It positions a man and a woman for what they naturally do best.

B. It organizes a man and a woman to complement each other rather than compete with each other.

C. It creates an environment that is best for the healthy development of children.

WHY…SIDE-BY-SIDE BIBLICAL?

D. It becomes the ideal we can train our children from an early age to embrace.

E. It honors God’s Word and is blessedby Him.

F. It prospers and advances society as a whole.

““The strength of a nationThe strength of a nationlies in the homes of its lies in the homes of its

people.”people.”

Abraham LincolnAbraham Lincoln