The Reitz StuffOur 2009 Family Christmas Newsletter

(Top) Hannah and Dylan ran into a familiar face in Lititz on Dec. 5. (Below) Mommy and Hannah at Ocean City, Md. in August.

Christmas refl ections of 2009As Told By THE GRINCHand EBENEZER SCROOGE

LITITZ - Oh joy, another miserably cheerful Christmas season is upon us, and God help them, the Reitz family decided to let us have a crack at their Christmas newsletter. Scrooge and I, The Grinch, will make sure you know every dastardly thing this family has been up to this year.

SCHOOL SCHMOOL - Hannah has brought her terrifyingly heart-shrinking academic skills to third grade at Lititz Elementary. (Oh, the humanity!) After an-nihilating something called “Rocket Math” (sounds delightfully destructive!) in her 2nd grade class, she set her sights on 3rd grade, where she scored straight A’s on her fi rst report card. How dreadfully brilliant!

Meanwhile, an unsuspecting preschool class has been invaded by the sicken-ing sweetness of that cheerful fi rst-time preschooler Dylan. Surely his teacher Mrs. White, as well as his new friends in the class, have not been fooled by his lack of misbehavior, his attentiveness, class participation or his galling kindness. AWFULLY CUTE - Well at least Hannah and Dylan no longer corner the market on cuteness in this family. New cousin Graycyn arrived over a month early (Early? That never happens with this family!) Boy, did she cause a ruckus and many sleepless nights for new parents Jamie and Kevin when she got here (and Scrooge and I are BIG fans of the ruckus). But now she’s all sweet and cute and calm and adorable. Yuck, how perfectly awful!

GOT A MATCH? - Hannah played two more seasons of soccer this year, with Dad once again doing his best impersonation of a coach. In spite of his long-winded mo-tivational speeches and cruel, soul-crush-ing two-a-day practices (or maybe it was

two-a-week), she had a lot of fun and did very well this year. In the spring she had her fi nal season at the Under-8 level, and then in the fall, she bumped up to the very challenging Under-10 league, where they played teams from outside the Lititz area for the fi rst time. The girls got along well together (teamwork? bah humbug!), and had some exciting matches. Coach Rick hopes they’ll stick together in the spring, so he can further subject them to endless passing drills and games of peril, like “Sharks & Minnows” or “Crab Soccer.” BEACH NUTS - Sand in every part of your body, jellyfi sh sightings, sunburn... yes, it was another year at Ocean City, Md., where the fun doesn’t stop until the kids fi nally drop! The weather during their late August sojurn was cooler than usual, See 2009 on Page 2

(Top) Hannah and Dylan ran into a familiar face in Lititz on Dec. 5. (Top) Hannah and Dylan ran into a familiar face in Lititz on Dec. 5. (Top) Hannah and Dylan ran into a famil

The Reitz StuffThe Reitz StuffOur 2009 Family Christmas NewsletterThe Reitz StuffOur 2009 Family Christmas NewsletterThe Reitz Stuff

ho said it, did it or likes it? Take this fun quiz to see if you know!

1. Has earned the nickname “Hum-ming (fi ll in name)” at school... a. Hannah b. Dylan

2. Loves to eat rice & green beans... a. Hannah b. Dylan

3. Saw Crystal Palace of London play a football match in Lancaster... a. Hannah b. Dylan

4. Digs the marble racing track... a. Hannah b. Dylan

5. Got eyeglasses in March... a. Hannah b. Dylan

6. A master of the slot machine at Jamie and Kevin’s house... a. Hannah b. Dylan

1st Day of Preschool

Who said that?

W

Above: Coach and Player at the Fall soccer tournament. Hannah and Dylan at Lititz Springs Park. Below: Celebrating Daddy’s 40th birthday.

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The Reitz StuffChristmas 2009 Edition

Rick Reitz..... Editor Who Stole X-mas Lisa Reitz..................Editor-in-the-Box Hannah Reitz...SpongeBob Editorpants Dylan Reitz.......A Really Useful Editor Dagwood Reitz........................Copycat

ANSWERS: 1. A; 2. B; 3. A; 4. B; 5. A; 6. B

2009: A YEAR IN REVIEWContinued from page 1

but there’s always plenty to do at O.C., so they were never bored: eating deliciously unhealthy foods, riding rides, walking the Boardwalk, golfi ng miniaturly, and other beach-related pursuits of whimsy. NIGHTMARES BEFORE X-MAS - The Reitz family once again pretended to be anyone but themselves for Hallow-een. Dylan was dreadfully adorable as Woody from the unpopular Pixar movie “Toy Story” (though we like that character “Sid”), while Hannah was so-cute-you’d-want-to-gag as a bumblebee. Rick went to the annual Lefever Halloween party as the character Steve Martin played in “The Jerk.” Yeah, that’s about right. (Some-times this material just writes itself!) MORE GOSSIP AND INNUENDO - We were surprised to learn that Rick turned 40 this year. Surely he’s much older than that and is living an age-adjusted lie. ... Lisa continues to volun-teer for Hannah’s class and her Brownie troop, even chaperoning a class trip to Landis Valley Museum and an overnight Brownie trip to Port Discovery in Balti-more (they camped out in the place). God bless her! ... Rick’s fantasy baseball teams were delightfully pathetic this year, but it seems his football team, Fearless Freep, is still in the playoffs at press time. ... The Reitzes enjoyed fun days at Cherry Crest Farms (where Daddy and Hannah man-aged to not get totally lost and completed the corn maze), Dutch Wonderland and Hershey-park. Hannah even took her fi rst

ride on the Sooper Dooper Looper. Kids these days; so desensitized to threats of peril and danger! ... Hannah got braces this summer. She was also the top Girl Scout cookie seller in her Brownie troop! ... Rick and Lisa celebrated 15 years of marriage in May. OK, their anniversary was actually in March, but with two kids, you celebrate whenever you can. We wish you all of the sickly sweet hap-piness that’s always in abundance during the Christmas season, and tremendous success (hopefully at the expense of your enemies) in 2010!

Above: Coach and Player at the Fall soccer tournament. Hannah and Above: Coach and Player at the Fall soccer tournament. Hannah and Above: Coach and Player at the Fall soccer tournament. Hannah and

ride on the Sooper Dooper Looper. Kids