the remedy by suzanne young (extended excerpt)
TRANSCRIPT
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WIQU N
A@I]U] BD APQE@L
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Mcipt`r Bl`
NU„] UNF@ UB ]I^ HBBE-A^@. N ]NU NL UC@ IQFMCINQ
mjbs`st tb tc` ebbr ile dbje fy ciles pbjnt`jy nl fy jip. Uc`
rbbf ns tbb wirf. Ubb qun`t. Fy fbtc`r `lt`rs drbf tc`
ontmc`l, c`r j`dt ̀ y` swbjj`l ile aruns`e, sfijj smritmc`s mirv`e
nltb c`r mc``os. ]c` jnfps tb tc` pjine sbdi, wivnlh bdd c`jp
wc`l N bdd`r, ile `is`s bltb tc` pitt`rl`e muscnbl l`xt tb fy
ditc`r. N scbbt cnf il ulmbfdbrtiaj` hjilm`, aut c` eb`sl„t jndtcns c`ie? t`irs ernp bltb cns hriy sjimos, ile N turl iwiy.
N a`hnl tb hliw bl tc` nlsne` bd fy jbw`r jnp, wintnlh nl
snj`lm` is tc`y mblsne`r tc`nr wbres. Ucns nlt`rv`ltnbl-styj`
dir`w`jj ns cirejy tc` dbrfit N nfihnl`e, aut tc` fbf`lt
a`jblhs tb tc`f, sb N ebl„t nlt`rd`r`. N mist i jblhnlh jbbo tb
wc`r` fy wbrl aimopimo wints l`ir tc` ebbr. Iirbl cie a`tt`r
lbt a` jit` pnmonlh f` up tcns tnf`.
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‚Ir` ybu sur` ybu mil„t stiy ilbtc`r lnhct2‖ fy ditc`r
isos, hrnppnlh cns wnd`„s cile cire `lbuhc tb turl cns olumoj`s
wcnt`. Uc`y abtc stir` it f` pj`ienlhjy, aut N ebl„t hnv` tc`f
dijs` cbp`. N wbl„t a` tcit mru`j.
‚]brry, aut lb,‖ N siy onlejy. ‚Ucns ns wc`r` w` siy hbbe-ay`.‖
Fy fbtc`r pujjs c`r cile drbf fy ditc`r„s, murjnlh nt nltb
i dnst it c`r fbutc. ]c` mcbo`s aimo i sba, ile N witmc is tc`
stntmc`e wbule bl c`r mc``o mrnloj`s c`r sonl.
N r`imc dbr fy bwl t`irs, trynlh tb ipp`ir syfpitc`tnm.^bu„jj l`v`r s`` ybur pir`lts ihinl, N tcnlo. Nsl„t tcit sie2 Aut ijj
N mil fust`r ns i ant bd ajurry vnsnbl. Nt s``fs i jnttj` c`irtj`ss,
`v`l tb f`, tcit N mil„t fburl tc`nr jbss. Aut N„v` bljy olbwl
tc`s` p`bpj` dbr twb eiys. A`sne`s, tc` mjnps bl fy cinr `xt`l-
snbls ir` ernvnlh fy smijp fie. N r`imc i dnlh`rlinj nl a`tw``l
fy r`e striles ile smritmc.
Fy fbtc`r tio`s i e``p ar`itc ile tc`l a`hnls c`r
r`c`irs`e hbbe-ay`. ‚@fnjy,‖ sc` siys nl i scioy vbnm`. ‚Xc`l
ybu en`e, fy jnd` `le`e tbb.‖ I t`ir rbjjs sjbwjy ebwl c`r
mc``o, sjnppnlh nltb c`r enfpj` a`dbr` dijjnlh iwiy. ‚N mbujel„t
s`` a`yble fy hrn`d,‖ sc` mbltnlu`s. ‚Uc` mbuls`jbrs tbje f`N cie tb, aut N mbuje bljy r`pjiy tcbs` jist fnlut`s nl tc` mir.
Ucns cbrrnaj` jbbp bd pinl―‖ ]c` mcbo`s up, ile fy ditc`r
r`imc`s tb rua c`r aimo sbbtcnlhjy. N ebl„t nlt`rrupt. ‚Ile tc`l
ybu w`r` hbl`,‖ fy fbtc`r wcnsp`rs, jbbonlh it f`. ‚N jbv`e
ybu fbr` tcil ilytcnlh, aut ybu w`r` tbrl iwiy. N trn`e . . . N
trn`e sb cire, aut N mbujel„t siv` ybu. N„f sbrry, @fnjy.‖
N„f i air`jy pissiaj` v`rsnbl bd @fnjy―endd`r`lt `y`s,
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Uc` Q@F@E^ 0
sfijj`r mcnl. Aut fy fbtc`r ns hrn`vnlh, ile tcrbuhc c`r
t`irs N„f sur` sc` tcnlos N jbbo ne`ltnmij tb c`r e`ie eiuhct`r.
Ile fiya` tcit r`s`fajilm` pinls c`r `v`l fbr` wc`l w`„r`
tcns mjbs`.
‚N jbv` ybu tbb, Fbf,‖ N siy iutbfitnmijjy, ile djnmo fy
hiz` tb fy ditc`r. ‚Ile tcilo ybu, Eie, dbr ijj ybu„v` ebl`
dbr f`. N wis v`ry cippy. Lb fitt`r wcit, N„jj ijwiys a` wntc
ybu‖―N put fy cile bl fy mc`st―‚nl ybur c`irts.‖
Uc` wbres ir` ery nl fy fbutc, aut N stnmo tb tc` smrnpt wc`lN mil„t p`rsblijnz` fy sp``mc nl sbf` btc`r wiy. Pjtnfit`jy, tcns
ns wcit tc`y wilt`e tb c`ir―br ritc`r, wcit tc`y l``e`e tb c`ir
tb civ` mjbsur`. Uc`y wilt`e f` tb olbw N wis jbv`e.
Fy pcbl` auzz`s nl fy pbmo`t, aut N ebl„t runl tc`
fbf`lt tb mc`mo nt. X`„r` pist e`iejnl` ile nt cis hrbwl eiro
butsne`, aut N wbl„t j`iv` ultnj N„f sur` fy pir`lts wnjj h`t
tcrbuhc tcns. N wint i a`it, ile fy fbtc`r slnddj`s ile wnp`s
c`r dim` wntc c`r pijfs.
‚N fnss ybu, @fnjy,‖ sc` siys, ile c`r vbnm` mrimos bv`r fy
lif`. ‚N fnss ybu `v`ry eiy.‖ Uc` dnrst t`irs prnmo fy `y`s,
tc` cbl`sty nl c`r `fbtnbls p`l`tritnlh tc` wijj N„v` mir`dujjyaunjt. N sfnj` it c`r, cbpnlh nt j`ss`ls c`r imc`.
‚N olbw ybu jbv`e f`,‖ N siy, hbnlh bdd smrnpt. ‚Aut,
Fbf . . . tcns wisl„t ybur diujt. Nt wis il immne`lt―i t`r-
rnaj`, trihnm immne`lt. Wj`is` ebl„t ajif` yburs`jd ilyfbr`. N
dbrhnv` ybu.‖
Fy fbtc`r mjips abtc ciles bv`r c`r fbutc, r`jn`d c`fbr-
rcihnlh is c`r scbuje`rs scio` wntc c`r sbas. Ucns ns nt―c`r
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mjbsur`. ]c` l``e`e r`jn`d drbf c`r hunjt. Fy ditc`r mjnfas tb
cns d``t ile fbtnbls tbwire tc` ebbr. N stile tb dbjjbw cnf,
aut pius` ile jbbo aimo it fy fbtc`r.
‚N„f sid` lbw,‖ N mbltnlu`. ‚Lbtcnlh mil `v`r curt f`
ihinl. Lbt bl` tcnlh.‖ N turl tb j`iv` tc` rbbf, fy vbnm` air`jy
iuenaj` bv`r c`r mrn`s. ‚Hbbe-ay`, Fbf.‖
Fy issnhlf`lt ns mbfpj`t`.
N dbjjbw fy ditc`r tb tc` drblt ebbr, ile wc`l w` r`imc
tc` `ltrywiy, N ruffih` tcrbuhc tc` scr`ee`e fneej` pbmo`tbd fy aimopimo ile pujj but i sw`itscnrt. N yilo tc` Qbjjnlh
]tbl`s U-scnrt bdd bv`r fy tilo tbp ile cile nt tb fy eie . . .
br, ritc`r, Ijil Wnllimj`.
Dbr tc` pist twb eiys, N„v` a``l w`irnlh cns eiuhct`r„s
divbrnt` mjbtc`s, `itnlh c`r divbrnt` dbbes, sj``pnlh nl c`r a`e.
N„f tc` Hbjenjbmos tc` a`irs tbbo nl tb r`pjim` tc` bl` tc`y
jbst, `v`l nd nt wis bljy tb siy hbbe-ay`.
Ijil jbbos ebwl it @fnjy„s ajimo scnrt ile pusc`s nt nl fy
enr`mtnbl. ‚O``p nt,‖ c` siys, stirnlh it tc` diarnm jno` nt„s pr`-
mnbus. N wne`l fy `y`s ile tio` i st`p aimo.
‚Aut nt„s lbt fnl`,‖ N siy qun`tjy. ‚Nt a`jblh`e tb ybureiuhct`r.‖ ]bf`tnf`s pir`lts a`mbf` mbldus`e, ile pirt bd
fy kba ns tb o``p tc`f hrbule`e nl r`ijnty. Firtci snts bl tc`
mbumc, stirnlh tbwire tc` wnlebw wntc i mijf`e `xpr`ssnbl,
aut N wbrry tcit Ijil ns civnlh il `fbtnblij ar`ioebwl.
‚^bu„r` rnhct,‖ c` siys siejy. ‚Aut @fnjy nsl„t mbfnlh cbf`.‖
C` cbjes up tc` scnrt. ‚Nd tcns ns stnjj a`nlh wbrl, nl i wiy, c`r
spnrnt wnjj a` but tc`r`. ]c „̀jj stnjj a` pirt bd tc` wbrje.‖
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Uc` Q@F@E^ 8
‚N r`ijjy scbujel„t,‖ N siy, ijtcbuhc nd N„f cbl`st, tcit
U-scnrt wis fy divbrnt` pirt bd tcns issnhlf`lt. Aut w`„r` lbt
suppbs`e tb o``p irtndimts bd tc` e`ie. Nt bp`ls up tc` pbssn-
anjnty bd jiwsunts ihinlst tc` `ltnr` hrn`d e`pirtf`lt, mjinfs bd
ulprbd`ssnblijnsf.
‚Wj`is`,‖ c` furfurs. ‚N tcnlo sc` wbuje civ` r`ijjy
jno`e ybu.‖
Nt„s kust i scnrt, N tcnlo. Lb bl`„s `v`r a``l dnr`e bv`r i scnrt. N
r`jumtiltjy tio` tc` diarnm drbf cns cile, ile Ijil„s dim` twnstsnl i djisc bd pinl. Nfpujsnv`jy, N j`il nl ile onss cns mc``o.
‚@fnjy wis i jumoy hnrj,‖ N wcnsp`r mjbs` tb cns `ir. Ile
tc`l, wntcbut wintnlh tb s`` cns ̀ xpr`ssnbl, N turl ile wijo but
bd @fnjy Wnllimj`„s cbus`.
Uc` lnhct inr ns c`ivy wntc fbnstur` is N st`p bltb tc` wbbe`l
sjits bd tc` drblt pbrmc? mbbj rinly wnle ajbws ihinlst fy dim`.
Uc` c`iejnhcts bd i mir piro`e ebwl tc` rbie djnmo bl, ile
fy fusmj`s r`jix. N„f hjie N wbl„t a` cilhnlh irbule dbr i
rne`? Iirbl usuijjy sumos it a`nlh bl tnf`. N r`imc nltb fy cinr
ile a`hnl tb r`fbv` tc` `xt`lsnbls, ulmjnppnlh tc`f ile tc`lscbvnlh tc`f nltb tc` aih bl fy scbuje`r, wc`r` N studd`e tc`
Qbjjnlh ]tbl`s U-scnrt.
Uc` mir pujjs up, ile N cbje fy aimopimo bv`r fy c`ie tb
prbt`mt fys`jd drbf tc` rinl. N tcrbw bl` fbr` hjilm` tbwire
tc` cbus`, hjie l`ntc`r pir`lt ns jbbonlh but tc` wnlebw. N cit`
tb ar`io tc` njjusnbl dbr tc`f? nt„s jno` s``nlh i t`imc`r it tc` hrb-
m`ry stbr` br i tc`f`-piro mcirimt`r wntcbut nts bv`rsnz` c`ie.
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N bp`l tc` mir ebbr ile erbp bltb tc` piss`lh`r s`it bd i
scnly ajimo Mienjjim. Nt r``os bd j`itc`r ile mbmblut inr dr`sc-
`l`r. N turl sne`wiys, jndtnlh fy `y`arbws tc` fnlut` N tio` nl
Iirbl„s ipp`irilm`. N pr`t`le tb mc`mo fy lbl`xnst`lt witmc.
‚Ile wcb ir` ybu suppbs`e tb a`2‖ N iso.
Iirbl sfnj`s. ‚N„f f` ihinl,‖ c` siys. ‚Nt wis i jblh ernv`.
N enel„t civ` tnf` tb mcilh` mjbtc`s.‖
Ucns wis bl` bd tcbs` rir` fbf`lts wc`r` Iirbl ile N w`r`
bl issnhlf`lt it tc` sif` tnf`―i fbstjy ivbne`e mbldjnmt. Nt wis prbaiajy i hbbe tcnlh tcit N wis rullnlh jit` tblnhct. N
smil fy drn`le„s butdnt, cbjenlh aimo tc` jiuhc wintnlh nl fy
hut. C`„s w`irnlh i eiro arbwl mbreurby kimo`t wntc i strnp`e
auttbl-ebwl scnrt ule`rl`itc. Ijtcbuhc Iirbl„s air`jy lnl`-
t``l, c`„s er`ss`e jno` il `nhcty-y`ir-bje prbd`ssbr. ]`lsnlh fy
nfp`lenlh r`imtnbl, c` st`ps bl tc` his p`eij ile sp``es us
ebwl tc` str``t.
‚Uw`lty-tcr``-y`ir-bje jiw stue`lt,‖ c` `xpjinls, turlnlh
up tc` vbjuf` bl tc` st`r`b. ‚Aut cns r`ij jbv` wis fitc.‖ C`
scbbts f` i pbnlt`e jbbo is nd nt sufs up cns issnhlf`lt mbf-
pj`t`jy. ‚Uc` mbuls`jbrs ir` r`ijjy puscnlh fy ih`, rnhct2‖ c`isos. ‚Fust a` tcns sw``t a`ire.‖ C` strbo`s cns dimnij cinr ile
N smrulmc up fy lbs`.
‚Hrbss,‖ N siy. ‚^bu„r` jumoy Br`hbl m`j`arit`s nts dimnij
cinr? btc`rwns` ybu„e a` but bd wbro.‖ Iirbl„s sfbbtc, eiro
sonl ensipp`irs `v`ry Lb ]civ` Lbv`fa`r, aut tcit `le`e dnv`
fbltcs ihb. N„f pirtl`rs wntc i ]isquitmc. ‚Xc`l ir` ybu h`t-
tnlh rne bd tcit tcnlh2‖ N iso.
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Uc` Q@F@E^ >
‚Pf, l`v`r,‖ c` siys, jno` nt„s tc` bavnbus ilsw`r. ‚N„f jbbo-
nlh dnl`, hnrj.‖
N jiuhc ile djnp ebwl tc` piss`lh`r-sne` fnrrbr. Uc` jnhct
mjnmos bl, cirsc bl fy c`ivy fio`up. N mbfa fy dnlh`rs
tcrbuhc fy stnjj-r`e scbuje`r-j`lhtc striles. @fnjy„s cinr wis
rnenmujbusjy jblh, sb N cie tb w`ir ntmcy `xt`lsnbls.
‚Ubb aie,‖ Iirbl siys, fbtnblnlh tb fy r`dj`mtnbl. ‚N jno`e
ybur cinr jblh.‖
‚Ile N jno` tcit sp`mnij ajiz`r. b̂u sur` ybu mil„t o``p nt2‖‚Wbnlt fie`,‖ c` mblm`e`s. X`„r` qun`t dbr i fbf`lt ultnj
Iirbl mj`irs cns tcrbit. ‚]b cbw wis nt2‖ c` isos nl i tc`ripnst„s
vbnm`, `v`l tcbuhc c` olbws N cit` tijonlh iabut fy issnhl-
f`lts. ‚^bu w`r` sup`r vihu` bl tc` pcbl`,‖ c` iees. ‚N wis
h`ttnlh wbrrn`e.‖
‚Nt wis tc` sif`,‖ N ilsw`r. ‚Kust jno` ijwiys.‖
‚Xis nt tc` fbf2‖
‚ `̂ic,‖ N t`jj cnf, ile jbbo but tc` piss`lh`r wnlebw. ‚]ur-
vnvbr„s hunjt. Uc`r` wis i mir immne`lt? tc` fbtc`r wis ernvnlh.
Idt`r irrnvnlh it tc` cbspntij, tc` fbf ril drbf rbbf tb rbbf,
s`irmcnlh dbr c`r eiuhct`r. Aut sc` wis EBI.‖ N swijjbw cire,aurynlh tc` `fbtnbls tcit tcr`it`l tb scio` fy vbnm`. ‚Ijj tc`
fbtc`r wilt`e wis tb ipbjbhnz` dbr jbsnlh mbltrbj bd tc` mir,‖ N
mbltnlu`. ‚A`h c`r eiuhct`r dbr dbrhnv`l`ss. Ù jj c`r cbw fumc
sc` jbv`e c`r. Aut sc` l`v`r hbt tc` mcilm`. ]c` enel„t `v`l h`t
tb siy hbbe-ay`. Firtci cie i cire tnf` imm`ptnlh tcit.‖
‚Firtci2‖ Iirbl r`p`its, ile N d``j cnf jbbo it f`. ‚^bu
twb bl i dnrst-lif` aisns2‖
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‚Lb,‖ N siy. ‚Aut N„f lbt mijjnlh c`r Fbf ilyfbr`, ile nt
s``fs mbje tb mijj c`r Frs. Wnllimj`.‖ Xc`l N turl tb Iirbl,
c` jbbos ebuatduj. ‚Xcit2‖ N iso. ‚Uc` wbfil wisc`e fy
ule`rw`ir. Nt„s lbt jno` w`„r` strilh`rs.‖
‚]``, tcit„s tc` tcnlh,‖ c` siys, cbjenlh up cns dnlh`r. ‚^bu
ir` strilh`rs. ^bu w`r` t`fpbrirnjy pjiynlh tc` rbj` bd c`r
e`m`is`e eiuhct`r, aut ay lb f`ils ir` ybu drn`les. Ebl„t ajur
tc` jnl`s, Yunll.‖
‚N olbw cbw tb eb fy kba,‖ N ilsw`r ensfnssnv`jy. Fy c`irta`its dist`r.
Ijtcbuhc ijj mjbs`rs tio` bl tc` p`rsblijnty bd tc` e`ie p`r-
sbl, N„f tc` bljy bl` wcb nlt`rlijnz`s nt, tcnlos jno` tc`f. Nt
fio`s f` fbr` iutc`ltnm, ile cbl`stjy, nt„s wcy N„f tc` a`st.
‚Ebl„t a` kuehy,‖ N t`jj Iirbl. ‚^bu civ` ybur prbm`ss? N civ`
fnl`. N„f mbfpj`t`jy e`timc`e wc`l nt„s bv`r.‖
Iirbl mcumoj`s. ‚ b̂u„r` e`timc`e2‖ c` isos. ‚Uc`l wcy eb
ybu o``p sbuv`lnrs2‖
‚N eb lbt,‖ N r`spble, c`it mriwjnlh bltb fy mc``os.
‚N a`t ybu civ` fbr` tcil cinr `xt`lsnbls nl tcit aih.‖
N jbbo ebwl tb s`` tc` ̀ eh` bd tc` U-scnrt p``onlh but. ‚Lbtdinr,‖ N siy. ‚Uc` eie hiv` tcit tb f`. Nt eb`sl„t mbult.‖
‚Ile tc` `irrnlhs drbf ]usil A`jj2 Uc` djiscy y`t mjiscy
a`jt drbf Iuer`y Xcitsc`rlif`2 Iefnt nt. b̂u„r` i jnd` oj`ptb.
b̂u o``p pn`m`s bd tc`f jno` sbf` wcimo`e-but s`rnij onjj`r.‖
N jiuhc. ‚Nt„s lbtcnlh jno` tcit.‖
Iirbl cufs but cns ensihr``f`lt ile tio`s i turl bltb
tc` dr``wiy. Nt„jj a` it j`ist dbrty-dnv` fnlut`s ultnj w`„r` aimo
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Uc` Q@F@E^ 99
nl Mbrvijjns. N cit` tc` iwiy issnhlf`lts, aut bur tbwl ns dinrjy
sfijj, ile w` ebl„t civ` l`irjy is fily e`itcs is @uh`l` br
Wbrtjile. Aut a`nlh iwiy mil f`ss wntc ybur c`ie. Lbtcnlh„s
difnjnir―lbt tc` pjim`s br tc` p`bpj`. I p`rsbl mbuje dbrh`t
wcb tc`y r`ijjy ir` nl i sntuitnbl jno` tcit. Nt„s cnhc rnso, ile tc`
r`turl ns ijwiys fbr` enddnmujt idt`r a`nlh mut bdd mbfpj`t`jy.
Aut nt„s bur kba.
Iirbl Qnbs ile N ir` mjbs`rs―i r`f`ey dbr hrn`d-strnmo`l
difnjn`s. X` c`jp mjn`lts wcb ir` `xp`rn`lmnlh syfptbfs bdmbfpjnmit`e hrn`d tcrbuhc il `xtr`f` f`tcbe bd rbj`-pjiynlh
tc`ripy. Xc`l i difnjy br p`rsbl `xp`rn`lm`s jbss―tc` onle
bd jbss tc`y kust mil„t h`t bv`r, tc` onle tcit `its iwiy it tc`nr
silnty―hrn`d mbuls`jbrs fio` i r`mbff`leitnbl. Dbr il
ulensmjbs`e suf bd fbl`y, mjn`lts ir` hnv`l i mjbs`r tb pjiy
tc` pirt bd i e`ie p`rsbl ile prbvne` tc`f tc` fumc-l``e`e
mjbsur` tc`y e`snr`.
It tcns pbnlt N mil a`mbf` ilybl` sb jblh is tc`y„r` i wcnt`
d`fij` a`tw``l tc` ih`s bd dndt``l ile tw`lty. N„f lbt il `ximt
mbpy, bd mburs`, aut N w`ir tc`nr mjbtc`s ile mcilh` fy cinr ile
`y` mbjbr. N stuey tc`f tcrbuhc pnmtur`s ile vne`bs, ile sbblN mil imt jno` tc`f, sf`jj jno` tc`f, a` tc`f dbr ijj nlt`lts ile
purpbs`s. Ile wc`l i difnjy ns cizy wntc hrn`d, tc`y t`le tb
imm`pt f` r`ienjy.
N stiy wntc tc`f dbr i d`w eiys, aut l`v`r fbr` tcil i
w``o. Nl tcit tnf`, fy jbv`e bl`s h`t tb siy `v`rytcnlh tc`y
l``e`e tb aut l`v`r hbt tc` mcilm` tb, h`t tb c`ir wcit`v`r
tc`y„v` tbje tc` mbuls`jbrs tc`y l``e`e tb c`ir. N mil a` tc`
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91 ]uzill` ^bulh
p`rd`mt eiuhct`r. N mil hnv` tc`f mjbsur` sb tc`y mil c`ij.
N„f sivnlh jnv`s―`v`l nd sbf`tnf`s nt„s cire tb r`f`fa`r
wcnmc bl` ns fnl`.
‚]b wcit civ` N fnss`e2‖ N iso Iirbl. Xc`l c` mijj`e f`
`irjn`r tb s`t up fy `xtrimtnbl, c` trn`e tb tijo, tb r`mbll`mt
f` tb tc` butsne` wbrje. Aut N wis wntc tc` difnjy wc`l fy
pcbl` auzz`e, sb N d`e Iirbl sbf` aujjscnt ̀ xmus` tb h`t bdd tc`
jnl`. Lbw N„f e`sp`rit` dbr i r`fnle`r bd fy r`ij jnd`. N r`st fy
t`fpj` bl tc` c`ier`st ile witmc cnf.‚Lbt fumc.‖ C` scruhs. ‚E`imbl„s a``l t`xtnlh f` lbl-
stbp. ]iys ybu„r` lbt ilsw`rnlh ybur pcbl`.‖
‚X`jj, c`„s lbt suppbs`e tb mbltimt f`, ns c`2‖ N pbnlt but.
Bur hune`jnl`s stit` tcit w` bljy mblsbrt wntc bur pirtl`rs br
bur ievnsbrs wcnj` bl issnhlf`lt―nt o``ps us drbf ar`ionlh
mcirimt`r. Aut tc` dimt ns, N mbuje civ` r`spble`e tb E`imbl„s
t`xts. N kust enel„t wilt tb.
Fy ̀ y`s stirt tb stnlh ile N mc`mo irbule tc` drblt s`it ile
dnle i aih bd bp`l trinj fnx studd`e nltb tc` mutbut a`jbw tc`
st`r`b? sijty-jbbonlh p`iluts civ` spnjj`e nltb tc` mup cbje`r.
Fy ditc`r wnjj onjj Iirbl dbr arnlhnlh tcbs` nl c`r`. Ile dbrenrtynlh up cns Mienjjim. X` ijwiys us` tc` sif` mir dbr `xtrim-
tnbls. Nt s`rv`s is i r`fnle`r bd bur r`ij jnd`, sbf`tcnlh difnjnir
tb arnlh us cbf`.
N cno` fy aimopimo bltb fy jip ile stirt ruffihnlh
tcrbuhc ultnj N dnle tc` mis` dbr fy mbjbr`e mbltimts. Ijtcbuhc
N„f lbt e`itcjy ijj`rhnm tb luts, tc`y nrrntit` fy `y`s ile fio`
fy tcrbit aurl. Iirbl„s usuijjy pr`tty hbbe iabut lbt `itnlh
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8/9/2019 The Remedy by Suzanne Young (Extended Excerpt)
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Uc` Q@F@E^ 9=
tc`f irbule f`. N hu`ss c` dbrhbt tcns tnf`―wcnmc ns ule`r-
stileiaj`. Issnhlf`lts t`le tb j`iv` us mbldus`e. It j`ist dbr
i wcnj`.
‚N tcnlo E`imbl„s wbrrn`e ybu„jj rul iwiy wntcbut t`jjnlh
cnf,‖ Iirbl mbltnlu`s. ‚Nt fio`s cnf mrizy.‖
‚E`imbl l`v`r wbrrn`s iabut ilytcnlh,‖ N mbrr`mt, r`stnlh
fy nle`x dnlh`r bl fy pupnj ultnj N d``j tc` mbltimt mjnlh tb
nt. ‚Ile N ebl„t olbw wcy c`„s isonlh ybu. Nd N pjill`e tb rul
iwiy, ybu wbujel„t olbw `ntc`r.‖ N r`fbv` tc` dnjf ile pjim` ntaimo nlsne` tc` mis` a`dbr` wbronlh bl tc` btc`r `y`.
‚^`ic, w`jj, c` wbrrn`s iabut ybu,‖ Iirbl futt`rs, mjnmonlh
tc` wnlescn`je wnp`rs bdd lbw tcit tc` rinl cis `is`e up. ‚Ile
wc`tc`r ybu iefnt nt br lbt,‖ c` iees, ‚ybu wbrry iabut cns iss
ijj tc` tnf` tbb.‖
‚X`„r` drn`les,‖ N r`fnle cnf, r`jnvnlh tc` mblv`rsitnbl
w`„v` cie i ebz`l tnf`s. ‚Kust v`ry hbbe drn`les.‖
‚Xcit`v`r, Yunll,‖ c` siys. ‚^bu„r` cire-mbr` ile c`„s
aieiss. N h`t nt. b̂u„r` abtc tbb tbuhc dbr jbv`.‖
‚]cut up.‖ N jiuhc. ‚^bu„r` kust fie w` h`t ijblh a`tt`r
tcil ybu ile ybur hnrjdrn`le.‖‚Eifl rnhct,‖ Iirbl siys wntc i e`dnilt sfnro. ‚Nt inl„t
mbbj. ^bu twb―‖
‚]tbbbbbp,‖ N wcnl`, muttnlh cnf bdd. ‚Mcilh` tc` sua-
k`mt. E`imbl ile N ir` arbo`l up. @le bd stbry.‖ N studd fy
mbltimts mis` aimo nltb fy aih ile erbp nt ebwl ay fy d``t.
Uc` triddnm cis die`e drbf tc` dr``wiy, j`ivnlh tc` eiro rbie
`fpty irbule us.
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95 ]uzill` ^bulh
‚N„f lbt siynlh ybu scbuje cit` `imc btc`r,‖ Iirbl mbltnl-
u`s. ‚Aut ybu scbujel„t wilt tb abl` `v`ry tnf` ybu s`` cnf
`ntc`r.‖
‚^bu civ` s`rnbus prbaj`fs, ybu olbw tcit, rnhct2‖
‚Ff-cff,‖ c` siys, lbeenlh ensfnssnv`jy. ‚^`ic, N„f tc`
bl` wntc prbaj`fs.‖ C` wcnstj`s but i jbw sbule bd syfpitcy,
jbbonlh sne`wiys it f`. ‚^bu„v` abtc hbt nt aie,‖ c` iees.
‚Lb,‖ N t`jj cnf. ‚X`„r` abtc a`tt`r bdd. Q`fnle E`imbl
bd tcit l`xt tnf` c`„s mc`monlh up bl f`.‖ Iirbl smbdds ilesw`irs c`„s stiynlh but bd nt. C` wbl„t, bd mburs`. C` tcnlos
w`„r` stnjj pnlnlh dbr `imc btc`r. Ile . . . c` fiy lbt a`
`ltnr`jy wrblh. Aut E`imbl ile N civ` i v`ry pjitblnm ule`r-
stilenlh.
E`imbl Citmc`r ns fy ̀ x-abydrn`le turl`e a`st drn`le, aut
fbr` nfpbrtilt, c` us`e tb a` i mjbs`r. C` h`ts nt. H`ts f`.
E`imbl wis fy pirtl`r a`dbr` Iirbl, ijfbst tcr`` y`irs sne`
ay sne` ultnj c` qunt wbronlh dbr fy eie `nhct fbltcs ihb.
C` qunt f` tc` sif` eiy. Uc` ar`ioup fiy civ` wr`mo`e f`
i jnttj`. Br i jbt. E`imbl ile N cie scir`e `v`rytcnlh, cie i
pbjnmy bd tbtij cbl`sty, wcnmc nsl„t `ximtjy `isy dbr p`bpj` nlbur jnl` bd wbro.
N ciel„t `v`l olbwl c`„e `le`e cns mbltrimt wntc tc` hrn`d
e`pirtf`lt wc`l c` tbje f` w` w`r` bv`r, sine c`„e fbv`e
bl. N issuf`e c` f`ilt wntc ilbtc`r hnrj, sb w` enel„t sp`io
dbr bv`r i fbltc. N„e a``l ajnlesne`e, a`triy`e. Bljy tcnlh
j`dt dbr f` wis mjbsur`, ile N wis eifl hbbe it nt. N iasbra`e
fbr` bd fy issnhlf`lts„ jnv`s, tc`nr difnjn`s„ jbv`. N r`aunjt fy
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Uc` Q@F@E^ 90
s`jd-`st``f wntc tc`nr c`jp, tc`nr f`fbrn`s. Uc`l fy ditc`r
issnhl`e Iirbl is fy l`w pirtl`r.
Uc` l`xt eiy, E`imbl scbw`e up it fy drblt ebbr, siy-
nlh cbw sbrry c` wis. ]iynlh cbw e`sp`rit`jy c` fnss`e f`.
N a`jn`v`e cnf. N ijwiys a`jn`v` cnf. Aut `v`ry tnf` w` h`t
mjbs`―tc` v`ry fnlut` N dijj dbr cnf ihinl―E`imbl muts f`
bdd, aimos iwiy, ile j`iv`s f` arbo`lc`irt`e ay tc` ias`lm` bd
cns idd`mtnbl. Xc`tc`r nt„s cns trinlnlh br cns liturij enspbsn-
tnbl, E`imbl ns mcirfnlh. Uc` onle bd mcirfnlh tcit fio`sybu d``j jno` ybu„r` tc` bljy p`rsbl nl tc` wbrje wcb fitt`rs.
Pltnj ybu ebl„t ilyfbr`.
N„f tnr`e bd tc` pusc ile pujj tcit mbltnlu`s tb mrimo ile
c`ij bv`r tc` sif` smir. N tbje E`imbl tcit N wis ebl` j`ttnlh
fys`jd a` vujl`riaj` tb cnf, tcit c` wis runlnlh f`. Uc`
tcbuhct s``f`e tb e`vistit` cnf. ]b E`imbl ile N ihr``e lbt
tb h`t aimo tbh`tc`r, aut imolbwj`eh`e tcit w` mbujel„t stiy
iwiy drbf `imc btc`r `ntc`r. A`st drn`les ns tc` mbfprbfns`. Nt
j`ts us hb tb tc` v`ry `eh` bd bur wilt wntcbut imtuijjy hbnlh
bv`r. Ile tcit wbros dbr us. X`„r` tbtijjy smr`w`e up tcit wiy.
Drbf tc` m`lt`r mblsbj` Iirbl„s pcbl` vnarit`s nl tc` mupcbje`r. C` qunmojy hrias nt a`dbr` N eb, ile r`sts nt ihinlst tc`
wc``j wcnj` c` r`ies tc` t`xt. Idt`r i fbf`lt c` mjnmos bdd tc`
smr``l ile erbps cns pcbl` aimo nltb tc` mup cbje`r. ‚Fyri
siys c`jjb,‖ c` siys, hjilmnlh bv`r. ‚]c`„s sup`r `xmnt`e dbr ybu
tb a` aimo.‖
‚N„f sur`,‖ N siy, djiscnlh cnf il ifus`e sfnj`. Iirbl„s hnrj-
drn`le ns air`jy dnv` d``t tijj, wntc wne` eb`jno` `y`s ile i r`e-cbt
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94 ]uzill` ^bulh
t`fp`r. ]c` us`e tb cit` f`―wcnmc, ule`r lbrfij mnrmufstilm`s,
mbuje a` ule`rstileiaj`. N sp`le i jbt bd tnf` wntc c`r abydrn`le.
X „̀r` bv`r nt lbw, ile tc` ̀ ltnr̀ sntuitnbl a`mif` i rullnlh kbo`
a`tw``l f` ile Iirbl. Ile ijtcbuhc Fyri fnhct stnjj cit` f`
i jnttj` , sc`„s bl` bd fy mjbs`st drn`les. Aut `v`rytcnlh wnjj mcilh`
sbbl. Ucns ns Iirbl„s jist fbltc is i mjbs`r―cns mbltrimt `les nl
dbur w``os. Idt`r tcit, c` ile Fyri ir` hbnlh tb rul bdd ile jnv`
sbf` e`rilh`e jnd` nl bl` bd tc` Eiobtis.
‚Ily mcilm` N mil tijo ybu nltb erbppnlh f` bdd it cbf`dnrst2‖ N iso Iirbl nl i snmojy sw``t vbnm`. ‚N„v` a``l er`ifnlh
iabut fy a`e dbr tc` `ltnr` w``o`le. @fnjy cie i dutbl.‖
Iirbl wcnstj`s nl syfpitcy. ‚]bules tbuhc, Yunll. Aut N
ijr`iey mijj`e Firn` tb j`t c`r olbw w`„r` bl bur wiy.‖ C` sfnj`s.
‚Ile ybu olbw cbw fumc sc` jbv`s jit`-lnhct e`arn`dnlhs.‖
Dijs`. Firn` iasbjut`jy cit`s wc`l w` mbf` ay idt`r eiro.
N `xcij`, er`ienlh bur l`xt stbp. N kust wilt tb hb cbf`,
t`jj fy eie hbbe lnhct, ile tc`l mrisc nl fy a`e. Pldbrtu-
lit`jy, lbl` bd tcit mil cipp`l ultnj w` r`hnst`r bur mjbsur`
ile mbld`ss bur snls. Bur ievnsbr, Firn`, cis tb nlt`rvn`w us
a`dbr` w`„r` ijjbw`e tb r`turl tb bur r`hujir jnv`s. Uc`r` ir`prbm`eur`s nl pjim` tb fio` sur` w` ebl„t tio` ily hrn`d cbf`
wntc us, tio` cbf` tc` siel`ss. Nt„s tc` bje siynlh; fns`ry jbv`s
mbfpily. ^`ic, w`jj, hrn`d mil a` mbltihnbus.
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8/9/2019 The Remedy by Suzanne Young (Extended Excerpt)
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Mcipt`r Uwb
UC@ EBBQ UB UC@ DNDUC-]UBQ^ XIJO-PW IWIQU-
f`lt ns ijwiys stumo, ile Iirbl cis tb rif cns scbuje`r ihinlst
nt tb h`t nt bp`l. C` stufaj`s nl, turlnlh aimo tb djisc f` i sfnj`.
]b strblh, N fbutc, fionlh cnf jiuhc. N dbjjbw cnf nlsne`,
ile tc`l mjbs` ile jbmo tc` ebbr. N pius` tb jbbo irbule. N
civ`l„t a``l tb Firn`„s cbus` nl it j`ist i fbltc, aut nt„s kust is
mrifp`e is N r`f`fa`r. @ximtjy tc` sif`. Xijj-tb-wijj iltnqu`durlntur`, brlit` mcinrs ile tcnl-j`hh`e tiaj`s. Jiy`rs bd nlm`ls`
cilh nl tc` inr? r`e tip`strn`s ir` timo`e bv`r tc` wnlebw, mist-
nlh tc` rbbf nl sbdt jnhct drbf tc` jifps. Uc` pjim` ns sciaay
mcnm―fumc jno` nts t`lilt.
‚^bu„r` jit`,‖ i rispy vbnm` mijjs drbf tc` ontmc`l. N mitmc
snhct bd Firn`„s air` scbuje`r ile tcnl jblh arines is sc` bp`ls
ile mjbs`s ontmc`l mianl`ts nl s`irmc bd sbf`tcnlh.
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93 ]uzill` ^bulh
‚Yunljil wis a`nlh lnm` ihinl ay hnvnlh tc`f `xtri tnf`,‖
Iirbl mijjs. C` erbps bltb tc` wbrl v`jv`t sbdi ile onmos bdd
cns scb`s. N smbwj it cnf dbr rittnlh f` but sb qunmojy, ile
r`fbv` fy sl`io`rs a`dbr` Firn` mil y`jj it f` dbr ensr`sp`mt-
nlh c`r ipirtf`lt. ‚]c`„s tbb onlec`irt`e,‖ Iirbl iees. ‚U`jj
Yunll sc`„s tbb onlec`irt`e.‖ C` rbjjs cns c`ie tbwire tc`
ontmc`l, ile Firn` pbo`s but drbf a`cnle tc` mianl`t ebbr.
‚]tbp a`nlh sb lnm`,‖ Firn` smbjes, ile tc`l hb`s aimo tb
wcit sc` wis ebnlh.‚]``.‖ Iirbl cbjes up cns dnlh`r tb f` nl wirlnlh a`dbr`
wbronlh cns irfs but bd tc` sj``v`s bd cns ajiz`r. C` mir`dujjy
dbjes tc` diarnm bv`r tc` aimo bd tc` mbumc.
N rbjj fy `y`s. ‚N wis ebnlh fy kba,‖ N mjirndy, snttnlh bl tc`
pinlt`e mcinr l`ir tc` ebbr. ‚Mc`mo wntc tc` Wnllimj`s―N„f
sur` N„jj h`t i hjbwnlh r`vn`w.‖
‚Ebl„t wbrry,‖ Firn` siys, mbfnlh but bd tc` ontmc`l, mir-
rynlh i triy. ‚X` ijwiys mc`mo.‖ ]c` sfnj`s it f` ile tc`l s`ts
tc` triy bl tc` mbdd`` tiaj`. Uc`r`„s i sfijj t`ipbt? tc` sf`jj
bd fnlt widts up drbf tc` mups. Fy stbfimc turls. Ucit„s lbt
r`hujir t`i―lbt c`r`. Nt„s i f`enmnlij mbmotinj tcit wnjj mbfp`jf` tb t`jj tc` trutc blm` N ernlo nt. Jumonjy, N civ` lbtcnlh tb
cne`.
Firn` ciles Iirbl i mup. ‚Hu`ss N„f dnrst,‖ c` furfurs,
ile hujps cns ernlo qunmojy. C` sumos nl i ar`itc tb mbbj ebwl
cns fbutc. ‚Listy,‖ c` siys wntc i scnv`r, ile s`ts tc` mup bl
tc` tiaj`.
‚N„jj h`t tc` pip`rwbro,‖ Firn` illbulm`s. ]c` wijos
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Uc` Q@F@E^ 9>
tbwire tc` cbf` bddnm`, c`r iloj`ts kilhjnlh iabv` c`r air`
d``t, c`r jblh arines mjnmonlh is tc`y swnsc imrbss c`r aimo.
Firn` E`vbrbux ns nl c`r jit` tcnrtn`s wntc eiro arbwl sonl,
pn`rmnlh ajimo `y`s, ile il `ddbrtj`ss a`iuty tcit ijjbws strilh-
`rs tb trust c`r. ]c`„s a``l fy ievnsbr snlm` tc` a`hnllnlh. N mil
stnjj r`f`fa`r a`nlh i jnttj` hnrj bl c`r jip, t`jjnlh c`r iabut
Airairi Qnmcires―i lnl`-y`ir-bje wcb mrimo`e c`r soujj wcnj`
rnenlh c`r ano`. N snpp`e p`pp`rfnlt t`i ile tbje Firn` cbw
sie nt fie` f` wc`l Airan`„s fbtc`r mrn`e. N cie i cire tnf`iekustnlh tb tc` hrn`d nl tc` a`hnllnlh.
Firn`„s i ant j`ss pitn`lt lbw, `sp`mnijjy wntc f`. ]c` ile
fy ditc`r civ` a``l it bees bv`r i mis` l`ntc`r wnjj tijo iabut.
N„f lbt sur` wc`l nt stirt`e, aut nt„s mj`ir Firn` ns bl tc` v`rh`
bd j`ivnlh tc` e`pirtf`lt ijtbh`tc`r. N ebl„t olbw wcit tc`
mbuls`jbrs wnjj eb nd sc` eb`s.
Firn` r``f`rh`s i fbf`lt jit`r wntc dbje`rs ile i vbnm`
r`mbre`r. ]c` tio`s i spbt l`xt tb Iirbl bl tc` mbumc, djnppnlh
c`r cinr bv`r c`r scbuje`r a`dbr` sc` sbrts tcrbuhc tc` dnj` wntc
E@SU@Q Q@@E prnlt`e bl tc` tia.
N pnmo up fy wirf t`imup, swnrjnlh irbule tc` jnqune. N„flbt sur` N mbuje cit` tc` tist` bd fnlt ily fbr` tcil N ijr`iey
eb. @j`v`l y`irs bd ernlonlh tcns studd wnjj eb tcit tb i p`rsbl.
N tio` i t`ltitnv` snp ile tc`l hih. Firn` hnv`s f` i enrty jbbo
jno` sc`„s bdd`le`e, ile N cbje up tc` t`i nl mc``rs a`dbr` ebwl-
nlh nt, hihhnlh ihinl.
Iirbl stirts r`mbultnlh cns scbrt tnf` is tc` enstnlhunsc`e
jiw stue`lt E`xt`r Q``e. Nt tbbo j`ss tcil tw`lty-dbur cburs
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17 ]uzill` ^bulh
tb arnlh i p`rsbl„s `ltnr` jnd` tb i mjbs`. Xcnmc ns hbbe, N hu`ss.
Btc`rwns` Iirbl wbuje civ` a``l jit` pnmonlh f` up. Ihinl.
N ebl„t jnst`l tb tc` stbry―ijtcbuhc nt„s lbt i cuh` e`ij nd N eb.
C`irnlh cns `xp`rn`lm` wbl„t fio` f` sie, lbt jno` r``limtnlh
nt mil. Ucit„s wcy w`„r` c`r` wntc Firn`. Mjbs`rs ir`l„t ijjbw`e
tb hb cbf` ultnj w` prbm`ss tc` hrn`d. X` tio` tcit aure`l drbf
tc` mjn`lts, c`jp tc`f c`ij. Aut w` mil a`mbf` idd`mt`e, tionlh
nt bl is bur bwl pinl ile sudd`rnlh. Bur `xtr`f` f`tcbe bd
tc`ripy nsl„t wntcbut nts rnsos. Uc` mbuls`jbrs ebl„t wilt tcittb cipp`l, sb w` tijo tb ievnsbrs. Hbe, sbf`tnf`s w` tijo sb
fumc N wilt tb mut but fy tblhu`.
N sfnj`, j`ilnlh aimo nl tc` mcinr. Uc` t`i fust ijr`iey a`
wbronlh. @v`l fy tcbuhcts ir` cbl`st.
Iirbl„s vbnm` erbl`s bl, ile N mblt`fpjit` tc` ̀ v`lnlh, tc`
tist` bd p`pp`rfnlt tcnmo nl fy fbutc. Ucnlhs mbuje a` wbrs`,
N hu`ss. N mbuje imtuijjy a` @fnjy Wnllimj`.
Bljy m`rtinl onles bd p`bpj` mil a`mbf` mjbs`rs. Uc`r`
ir` murr`ltjy dndt``l bd us nl Br`hbl. Endd`r`lt ih`s, rim`s, ile
h`le`rs. @lbuhc tb mbv`r tc` e`fbhripcnm fbr` br j`ss. X`
w`r` ijj s`j`mt`e ay tc` hrn`d mbuls`jbrs a`mius` w` civ` m`r-tinl trints; ieiptianjnty, fnfnmonlh sonjjs, ile i c`ijtcy ebs`
bd e`timcf`lt. X` ebl„t d``j tc` sif` wiy btc`r p`bpj` eb―
ijfbst jno` w`„r` lufa. Br it j`ist fbst bd us ir`. Xcnj` tc`
r`st bd tc` wbrje ns a`lt bl scirnlh tc`nr d``jnlhs, w` stuey
tc`f. X` j`irl tb mbpy a`civnbr pitt`rls, dimnij `xpr`ssnbls.
X` j`irl cbw tb a`mbf` btc`r p`bpj`.
Bv`r tc` jist mbupj` bd y`irs tc`r`„s a``l i sbmn`tij pusc tb
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11 ]uzill` ^bulh
trnij ile `rrbr, mbuls`jbrs ensmbv`r`e tc`y mbuje fio` dist`r
prbhr`ss wntc r``ltry nd w` enel„t jn` ijj tc` tnf`. Uc`y fie` i
pbjnmy mcilh`, ijt`rnlh tc` ̀ ltnr` syst`f bd ievns`f`lt nl bre`r
tb pr`v`lt fnstio`s, jno` us arnlhnlh cbf` tc` siel`ss w` w`r`
f`ilt tb ijj`vnit`.
N cit` tcit t`i. N ebl„t jno` a`nlh dbrm`e tb eb ilytcnlh,
`v`l tb t`jj tc` trutc. Aut nt„s lbt jno` N civ` i mcbnm`. Fy mbl-
trimt nsl„t up dbr snx fbr` fbltcs.
‚]nt,‖ Firn` siys, pujjnlh but tc` dnj` wntc @fnjy Wnllimj`„slif` bl tc` tia. N fbv` tb tc` mbumc ile dim` c`r. ‚Cbw ir`
ybu d``jnlh2‖ Firn` isos mblv`rsitnblijjy.
‚@xciust`e,‖ N r`spble. N put fy irf bv`r tc` aimo bd tc`
sbdi ile h`t mbfdbrtiaj`. Uc`r`„s lb t`jjnlh cbw jblh tcns wnjj
tio`. Firn` bp`ls tc` dnj` ile kbts sbf`tcnlh ebwl. ]c` r`s`ts
c`r r`mbre`r ile pjim`s nt bl tc` tiaj`.
‚Yunljil FmO``,‖ sc` illbulm`s dbr tc` r`mbre`r, ile
tc`l sfnj`s onlejy it f`. ‚Yunll,‖ sc` siys nl c`r tc`ripy
vbnm`. ‚U`jj f` iabut @fnjy Wnllimj`.‖
N durrbw fy arbw, mblt`fpjitnlh. ‚]c` wis qun`t, pbjnt`.
N r`ie tcrbuhc c`r eniry tcr`` tnf`s, djnpp`e tcrbuhc pcbtbijaufs, ile stuen`e c`r sbmnij f`eni prbdnj`s. ]c` enel„t civ` i
abydrn`le, aut sc` cie il nlt`ls` mrusc bl Kir`e Aitcfil. ]c`
l`v`r tbje cnf,‖ N siy. ‚]c` scbuje civ`, rnhct2‖ N iso. Firn`
cufs sbf`tcnlh lblmbffnttij, ile N mbltnlu`. ‚]c` wis wbr-
rn`e c` wbujel„t jno` c`r aimo,‖ N siy. ‚Aut tc` eiy sc` en`e, c`
dnlijjy tijo`e tb c`r it tc` aiso`taijj hif`. ]c` wis sb `xmnt`e.
Bl tc` wiy cbf` sc` t`xt`e c`r drn`le ile tbje c`r tc` `ltnr`
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Uc` Q@F@E^ 1=
mblv`rsitnbl. Aut sc` l`v`r fie` nt cbf`.‖ N jbbo ebwl nltb
fy jip, t`irs prnmonlh fy `y`s. ‚Nt wisl„t dinr. Nt wisl„t dinr tcit
@fnjy cie tb en` it snxt``l.‖
‚^bu„r` rnhct,‖ Firn` ihr``s. ‚Nt siys c`r` tcit c`r fbtc`r
a`mif` v`ry enstriuhct idt`r @fnjy„s e`itc. Uc` ditc`r cnr`e us
a`mius` sc` cie a`mbf` ulstiaj`, `rritnm. Uc` mbuls`jbrs w`r`
v`ry mblm`rl`e iabut c`r w`jj-a`nlh. Xcit ene ybu bas`rv`2‖
‚C`irtar`io,‖ N furfur. ‚N siw i jbt bd c`irtar`io.‖
‚Ile cbw ene nt d``j2‖‚Nt wis i e``p, eiro cbjjbw nl fy mc`st. Nt d`jt jno` cbp`j`ss-
l`ss.‖ N jbbo up tb f``t Firn`„s `y`s. ‚N stirt`e tb tcnlo tcit N
wis l`v`r hbnlh tb s`` fy pir`lts ihinl―c`r pir`lts,‖ N mbr-
r`mt. ‚N wis smir`e. N enel„t wilt tb a` ijbl`. N enel„t wilt tb
en`.‖ U`irs rbjj ebwl fy mc``os is hrn`d ile jbss suaf`rh` f`.
‚Lbw N„jj a` ijbl` dbr`v`r.‖ N trn`e tb o``p tc`s` d``jnlhs it aiy
wc`l N wis @fnjy, aut lbw N mil„t jn`. N mil„t cne` drbf fys`jd.
Firn` r`imc`s tb tio` fy cile, squ``znlh tb r`issur` f`.
‚ b̂u wnjj s`` ybur ditc`r tblnhct, Yunll. ̂ bu enel„t en`―@fnjy
Wnllimj` ene.‖
‚Nt mbuje civ` a``l f`,‖ N siy, scionlh fy c`ie. ‚Uc`y ijjmbuje a` f`.‖
‚Lb,‖ sc` siys. ‚^bu„r` Yunljil FmO``. ^bu jnv` it 1700
]`l`mi Wjim` nl Mbrvijjns, Br`hbl. ^bu„r` s`v`lt``l ile ybu
ernv` i a`it-up bje Cblei tcit ybur ditc`r wbl„t r`pjim`.‖ ]c`
r`imc`s ile tbumc`s fy mc``o tb eriw f` aimo nltb r`ijnty. ‚Ile
ybu„r` ijnv`, Yunll,‖ sc` wcnsp`rs. ‚ b̂u„r` c`r`, ile ybu„r` ijnv`.‖
N j`t c`r wbres sbio nl, tcnlonlh iabut fy mrippy mir―tc`
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15 ]uzill` ^bulh
mc`mo-`lhnl` jnhct tcit wbl„t scut bdd. Idt`r i fbf`lt N„f
rbbt`e aimo nl pjim`. Aimo nl fy jnd`. N mj`ir tc` t`irs ile hria
i tnssu` tb ajbw fy lbs`. Xc`l N„f mj`il`e up, Firn` r`s`ttj`s
bl tc` mbumc.
‚Eb ybu wilt tb t`jj f` iabut tc` U-scnrt2‖ sc` isos.
Fy stbfimc erbps ile N scbbt i a`triy`e jbbo tbwire tc`
aimo rbbf. ‚Iirbl tbje ybu2‖ N iso, ilhry tcit c`„s mijj`e f`
but twnm` snlm` w`„v` a``l c`r`.
‚C` cie tb.‖Nt„s tru`. @v`l nd fy drn`le wilt`e tb o``p i s`mr`t, c`
mbujel„t c`r`. ‚Xcy w`r` ybu isonlh iabut f` nl tc` dnrst
pjim`2‖ N e`file. ‚N ebl„t jno` a`nlh spn`e bl, Firn`.‖
‚N tcbuhct w` tijo`e iabut tcns,‖ sc` siys, nhlbrnlh fy
mbff`lt. ‚Uionlh tcnlhs―r`tinlnlh pbss`ssnbls bd tc` e`ie.
Nt nsl„t c`ijtcy ile nt„s ihinlst tc` ruj`s.‖
‚@fnjy„s eie hiv` f` tc` scnrt. N enel„t st`ij nt.‖ Fy `fb-
tnbls ir` stirtnlh tb auaaj` up, aut lbt tc` siel`ss N d`jt `irjn`r.
Ucns ns endd`r`lt―nt„s ilh`r, e`dnilm`.
‚N enel„t siy ybu ene,‖ Firn` mjirndn`s. ‚Aut wcy wbuje ybu
o``p @fnjy„s scnrt2 Eb`s nt cbje il `fbtnblij ittimcf`lt2‖Fy tcbuhcts swnrj is N dnhct tc` nfp`lenlh ̀ dd`mt bd tc` t`i.
Iefnttnlh il `fbtnblij ittimcf`lt tb tc` difnjy mbuje s`le
f` strinhct nltb tc`ripy. Ucns ns wcy N cit` tijonlh iabut fy
d``jnlhs.
‚N kust r`ijjy jno`e tc` scnrt,‖ N siy, r`jn`v`e it tc` wbres.
Q`jn`v`e . . . tcit N kust tbje i sfijj jn`. N ebl„t r`imt, `v`l
tcbuhc fy c`irt rim`s. Nt wisl„t i cuh` jn`―aut nt wis `visnv`.
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Uc` Q@F@E^ 10
Uc` trutc ns tcit `v`rytcnlh N o``p cis snhlndnmilm`, `v`l nd nt„s
bljy sjnhct. Ucit U-scnrt r`fnles f` bd fy eie, @fnjy„s eie,
ile cbw c` abuhct nt dbr f` bl fy anrtceiy twb y`irs ihb
a`mius` c` jbv`e tc` Qbjjnlh ]tbl`s. X` civ` pnmtur`s bd us
sfnjnlh, irfs bv`r ̀ imc btc`r„s scbuje`rs. Uc`y fiy lbt a` fy
f`fbrn`s, aut N jno` tc`f. Ile N wilt tb o``p tc`f.
Firn` stuen`s f`, ile dbr i fbf`lt N tcnlo sc` mil t`jj
tcit N„v` sonrt`e c`r qu`stnbl. N„f lbt sur` cbw N mbuje civ`,
tcbuhc. Xc`l sc`„s lbt jbbonlh, N hjilm` it tc` t`ipbt, wbl-e`rnlh nd tc` ebs` wis jnhct`r. Br fiya` kust wcit wis nl fy
mup. Firn` wrnt`s i lbt` nl fy dnj` ile mjbs`s nt.
‚^bu„r` mj`ir`e tb r`turl cbf`,‖ sc` siys, ile hnv`s f` i
mjbs`e-jnp sfnj`. ‚Aut ebl„t o``p ilytcnlh ̀ js`, Yunll. Nt fnhct
fio` tc` mbuls`jbrs tcnlo ybu„r` tbb `fbtnblij tb cilej` tc`
issnhlf`lts.‖
‚N„f i mbjec`irt`e antmc, Firn`,‖ N siy. ‚Wrbfns`.‖
]c` mcumoj`s, ile pits fy ol`` a`dbr` stilenlh. ‚Bc,‖ sc`
iees. ‚Ile ebl„t a` tbb cire bl Iirbl. C` enel„t wilt tb t`jj
f` iabut tc` scnrt. Nt„s i l`w jnl` bd qu`stnblnlh ybur ditc`r
iee`e nl. Iirbl cie tb t`jj f` tc` trutc.‖‚Uc`l wcy enel„t ybu iso f` iabut cnf2‖ N siy, mbldus`e.
‚A`mius` tc` qu`stnbls ir` bljy iabut ybu.‖ C`r `xpr`s-
snbl ns ulr`ieiaj`, ulipprbimciaj`, ile tc`l Firn` spnls―c`r
arines swnlhnlh―ile wijos aimo tb c`r bddnm`.
Iirbl ile N ir` qun`t is w` h`t nltb tc` Mienjjim ile stirt
tbwire fy cbus`, wc`r` Iirbl„s mir ns piro`e. Firn`„s wbres
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14 ]uzill` ^bulh
mjbh up fy fnle, ile N wble`r wcy fy ditc`r wbuje iee nl
qu`stnbls iabut f`. Xcy c`„s mc`monlh up bl f`. N„f ijsb
mblm`rl`e. Ijtcbuhc N enel„t jn`, N wisl„t mbfpj`t`jy cbl`st.
Ene Firn` . . . ene sc` eb sbf`tcnlh endd`r`lt tcns tnf`2 If N
endd`r`lt tcns tnf`2
‚N„f sbrry,‖ Iirbl siys nl i qun`t vbnm` drbf tc` ernv`r„s
s`it. C` eb`sl„t jbbo bv`r, aut c`„s riw―i jnttj` sc`jj-scbmo`e
drbf cns e`arn`dnlh. ‚N enel„t wilt tb t`jj c`r.‖
‚Xcit ene sc` iso2‖C` swijjbws cire, tnhct`lnlh cns hrnp bl tc` st``rnlh wc``j.
‚X` w`lt tcrbuhc tc` `v`lts jno` usuij, aut it tc` `le sc`
iso`e nd N lbtnm`e ilytcnlh bee wc`l N pnmo`e ybu up. N enel„t
olbw wcit sc` f`ilt it dnrst, aut sc` iso`e nd N tcbuhct ybu
w`r` hrbwnlh tbb ittimc`e tb tc` mjn`lts. N . . . N tbje c`r iabut
tc` scnrt.‖ C` jbbos bv`r, cns eiro ̀ y`s fns`riaj`. ‚N enel„t f`il
tb, Yunll.‖
‚Nt„s dnl`,‖ N t`jj cnf, fbstjy tb ijj`vnit` sbf` bd cns str`ss.
‚]c` wisl„t `v`l fie.‖
Iirbl„s ̀ y`s lirrbw sjnhctjy a`dbr` c` turls aimo tb tc` rbie.
‚Ucit„s hbbe, N hu`ss.‖ C` pius`s. ‚Ene sc` iso iabut f`2‖‚Lbp`,‖ N siy. Cns fbutc djnlmc`s wntc i sfnj`, aut c`
qunmojy strinhct`ls nt. Iirbl eb`sl„t wilt ilytcnlh tb f`ss up
cns mbltrimt. Nl kust i d`w w``os c`„jj civ` cns jufp-suf piy-
f`lt, `lbuhc tb stirt bv`r sbf`wc`r` `js`. C` cisl„t a``l i
mjbs`r dbr l`irjy is jblh is N civ`, aut tc`l ihinl, fy ditc`r ns
tc` c`ie bd tc` e`pirtf`lt, sb N„v` hbtt`l ebuaj` tc` pr`ssur`
tb mbltnlu`. N„f k`ijbus tcit Iirbl wnjj a` hbl` sbbl, jnvnlh
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Uc` Q@F@E^ 18
cns bwl jnd`. ]bf`tnf`s N wble`r nd N„jj `v`r civ` tcit, br nd fy
ditc`r wnjj dnle i wiy tb o``p `xt`lenlh fy mbltrimt.
Uc` typnmij mbltrimt ns dbr tcr`` y`irs„ tnf`, ijtcbuhc fily
mjbs`rs snhl bl dbr i s`mble t`rf. Qir`jy a`yble tcit, tcbuhc.
Nt„s lbt r`mbff`le`e, a`mius` tc` str`ss puts i mjbs`r it rnso
dbr i wcbj` cbst bd prbaj`fs―jno` jbsnlh bl`s`jd mbfpj`t`jy.
N„f bl fy dburtc mbltrimt. @v`l lbw, N mbujel„t siy wcnmc bd
fy divbrnt` mcnjecbbe f`fbrn`s imtuijjy cipp`l`e tb f` . Uc`
jnl`s ajur. Bmmisnblijjy, N jbbo tcrbuhc bje pcbtb ijaufs, auttc`r` ir` i d`w pnmtur`s tcit ebl„t dnt wntc fy f`fbrn`s, ile
vnm` v`rsi.
Bl` bd fy fbst mbldusnlh f`fbrn`s ns tcit bd fy
fbtc`r―c`r scnly eiro cinr ile wne` sfnj`, `v`l is sc` jiy
nl i cbspntij a`e, bavnbusjy snmo. N wbuje mriwj up tc` wcnt`
sc``ts tb a` l`xt tb c`r, ile sc`„e r`ie f` i stbry, t`jj f` sc`
jbv`e f`, ile onss fy cinr.
Aut fy fbtc`r cie ajble cinr ile aju` `y`s. ]c` wis e`jn-
mit` ile pr`tty, ile tc`l sc` wis hbl`. ]c` en`e nl i mir immn-
e`lt, ile N l`v`r siw c`r nl tc` cbspntij, l`v`r siw c`r idt`r
tcit eiy. N mil dnle lb pnmtur`s bd tc` btc`r wbfil drbf fyf`fbry, ile wc`l N iso fy ditc`r, c` nlsnsts N fust a` r`f`f-
a`rnlh il issnhlf`lt, `v`l tcbuhc c` mil„t pnlpbnlt `ximtjy
wcnmc bl`.
Ucit„s pirt bd fy prbaj`f―tc` jnv`s bd fy issnhlf`lts
aj`le tbh`tc`r idt`r i wcnj`, aj`le wntc fnl`. Ucit ulm`r-
tinlty ciults f` bl bmmisnbl, `sp`mnijjy wc`l N„f e``p nl fy
rbj` pjiynlh ile jblhnlh dbr i mbll`mtnbl. Uc`l ihinl, tc`y ijj
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13 ]uzill` ^bulh
ciult f`, ijj tc` hnrjs N„v` pbrtriy`e, sb N try lbt tb ew`jj bl
tc` r`ijnty tbb fumc.
Fy fbst r`m`lt mbltrimt `xpnr`e wc`l N wis dndt``l, aut
sbf`cbw fy ditc`r mblvnlm`e tc`f (ile f`) tb snhl ilbtc`r
bl`. C`„s ijwiys jbhnmij, ile nt„s cire tb irhu` wntc cnf. Nt„s
`v`l cire`r tb ensippbnlt cnf. Nl tc` `le N„jj h`t dbur tnf`s
tc` fbl`y, pjus i ablus. C` siys N„jj a` iaj` tb piy dbr mbjj`h`
butrnhct, a` iaj` tb auy i cbus`. C` t`jjs f` N„jj a` s`t dbr jnd`.
Ijtcbuhc tcbs` tcnlhs sbule lnm` tb cnf, N tcnlo N„e ritc`r hbtb prbf br sbf`tcnlh drnvbjbus jno` tcit.
Mbrvijjns stnjj cis twb bp`l cnhc smcbbjs, aut N ebl„t itt`le
ilyfbr`. Mjbsur` o`pt f` iwiy tbb fumc. Bljnl` cnhc smcbbj
kust eb`sl„t civ` tc` sif` erifi. Uc` anhh`st smileij N„v` s``l
wis wc`l tc` s`rv`rs mrisc`e ile tc` t`imc`rs cie tb r`s`t bur
pisswbres. E`imbl w`lt tb fy bje smcbbj ultnj c` erbpp`e
but. N l`v`r ule`rstbbe wcy c` wilt`e tb qunt? N wbuje onjj tb
hb aimo tb r`hujir cnhc smcbbj.
Iirbl tio`s tc` `xnt dbr fy cbus`, ile N hrbil. N„f ilhry
iabut fy ditc`r mc`monlh bl f`, ile N ebl„t wilt tb scbw up
sb pnss`e bdd. ‚Xilt tb swnlh ay E`imbl„s2‖ N iso. Iirbl scio`scns c`ie.
‚Fyri„s wintnlh up dbr f`. N mil erbp ybu tc`r`, tcbuhc.‖
‚Xcit iabut ybur mir2‖ N iso.
‚N„jj piro tc` Mieey ile cbp nl fy rne` a`dbr` ybur eie
mil `v`l jbbo but tc` wnlebw,‖ c` siys. ‚J`t cnf olbw tc`
o`ys wnjj a` nl tc` vnsbr.‖
N ihr``, ile s`ttj` aimo ihinlst tc` s`it wc`l Iirbl piss`s
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Uc` Q@F@E^ 1>
tc` turl dbr fy cbus`. Fy ditc`r ns prbaiajy it tc` ontmc`l
tiaj` wntc i mup bd mbdd`` sb c` wbl„t sj``p tcrbuhc fy irrnvij
cbf`, aut N ebl„t fnle fionlh cnf wint i jnttj` jblh`r. Ucit„s
wcit c` h`ts dbr spynlh bl f`. Lbw tcit tc` str`ss bd hbnlh
cbf` piss`s, N r`ijnz` cbw nlmr`enajy tnr`e N if. Cbw erinl`e.
Jno` fy sbuj ns w`irnlh tcnl.
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Mcipt`r Ucr``
E@IMBL BXL] I JNUUJ@ MQIDU]FIL-]U^J@ CBP]@
mjbs` tb tc` mbjj`h`. C` `xnt`e cns mbltrimt `nhct fbltcs ihb,
aut c` stnjj hbt pine dbr cns dnrst tcr`` y`irs. C` h`ts lbtc-
nlh dbr tc` `xtri y`ir c` put nl a`mius` c` arbo` tc` s`m-
ble mbltrimt. C` `le`e up puttnlh tc` fbl`y ebwl bl i
cbf`, wcnmc wis wiy fbr` r`spblsnaj` bd cnf tcil ily bd
us `xp`mt`e. C` ijsb erbpp`e but bd cnhc smcbbj ile hbt cnsH@E nlst`ie. E`imbl„s pir`lts en`e wc`l c` wis i aiay, ile
fy ditc`r dbule cnf nl dbst`r mir`. Il ilhry dburt``l-y`ir-
bje aby wcb c` tcbuhct wbuje fio` i p`rd`mt mjbs`r. E`imbl
wis hbbe, tbb―ijfbst is hbbe is f`. Cns mcirnsfi eriws
p`bpj` nl, `v`l nd nt„s bljy i dimie`.
Iirbl erbps f` bdd, stnjj qun`t`r tcil usuij. N olbw c`„s
d``jnlh hunjty iabut turlnlh f` nl dbr tc` U-scnrt, aut N„f tbb
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Uc` Q@F@E^ =9
tnr`e tb mblvnlm` cnf N„f lbt fie iabut nt. N h`t but, siynlh N„jj
mijj cnf tbfbrrbw, ile tc`l witmc is c` ernv`s iwiy.
I c`ieimc` cis stirt`e, ile N rua fy `y`s wntc tc` c``js bd
fy pijfs ile tc`l mjnfa tc` drblt pbrmc bd E`imbl„s cbus`.
N olbmo, fy aimopimo w`nhcnlh f` ebwl. N sjne` nt bltb bl`
scbuje`r. Ijtcbuhc N„v` bljy a``l hbl` i w``o`le, N d``j jno` N
civ`l„t s``l E`imbl nl fbltcs.
Nt„s i w`nre sne` `dd`mt bd r`turlnlh; Nt„s jno` N„f il imtbr nl
fy bwl jnd`. Jno` N„f lbt tc` r`ij bl`. Nt tio`s iabut tw`lty-dbur cburs tb a`mbf` f` ihinl.
Uc` ebbr pirtjy bp`ls, ile E`imbl r`sts cns cnp bl tc`
drif` ile jbbos f` up ile ebwl is nd c` cis lb ne`i wcb N if.
C`„s w`irnlh hriy sw`itpilts wntc MBQTIJJN] PLNBL CNHC ]MCBBJ
prnlt`e up tc` j`h, cns cinr ijj iso`w. C`„s scnrtj`ss, wc`tc`r dbr
`dd`mt br dbr mbfdbrt N„f lbt sur`.
‚N wble`r`e nd ybu w`r` mbfnlh ay,‖ c` siys dnlijjy, pusc-
nlh bp`l tc` ebbr wne`r tb nlvnt` f` nl. N tbumc cns dbr`irf
nl tcilos is N piss ile erbp fy aimopimo it tc` abttbf bd tc`
stinrmis`.
‚N ebl„t wilt tb hb cbf` y`t,‖ N siy, turlnlh tb cnf. ‚Fyditc`r„s a`nlh i enmo.‖
‚N„f sb surprns`e,‖ c` r`spbles `isnjy.
Dbr tc` dnrst tnf` snlm` j`ivnlh Firn`, N„f bv`rwc`jf`e ay
i fnxtur` bd ilh`r ile siel`ss. Uc` jbl`jnl`ss cnts, tc` jbss. N
fnss tc` wiy Fr. ile Frs. Wnllimj` wbuje ebt` bl f` ile mijj
f` tc`nr jnttj` hnrj. N fnss cbw aiejy tc`y wilt`e tb o``p f`.
Br fiya` N kust fnss a`nlh pirt bd i r`hujir difnjy.
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=1 ]uzill` ^bulh
E`spnt` `v`rytcnlh E`imbl ile N civ` a``l tcrbuhc, w`
stnjj civ` i tbtij cbl`sty pbjnmy, fbst bd nt ulspbo`l. Xntcbut
i wbre c` cbjes bp`l cns irfs, ile N st`p nl tb cnf, r`st fy
mc``o bl cns mc`st. Cns dnlh`rs sjne` bv`r fy irf, strbonlh fy
sonl ile scbwnlh f` idd`mtnbl tb c`jp `is` fy imc`. Idt`r i
jblh fbf`lt, tc` mbfdbrt s`ts, ile N pujj iwiy.
‚Ucilos,‖ N siy, st`ppnlh aimo. E`imbl scruhs jno` nt„s lb
anh e`ij, ile N arusc fy cinr but bd fy dim`. ‚Fnle nd N mrisc
dbr i ant2‖ N iso cnf.C` sfnj`s wryjy. ‚A`e br mbumc2‖
N jiuhc, ile nl ilsw`r N wijo nltb tc` jnvnlh rbbf ile pujj
tc` ajilo`t bdd tc` aimo bd tc` mbumc tb spr`ie nt bv`r tc` musc-
nbls. E`imbl mbf`s nl ile erbps nltb tc` mcinr l`xt tb f`,
witmcnlh is N jn` ebwl ile h`t s`ttj̀ e.
‚Ir` ybu culhry2‖ c` isos. ‚N mil fio` ybu sbf`tcnlh.‖
‚Lb,‖ N siy, tumonlh fy cile ule`r fy mc``o. Ucns d``jnlh
bd iaileblf`lt, N ebl„t tcnlo nt cipp`ls tb btc`r mjbs`rs―nt
enel„t cipp`l tb E`imbl. Aut dbr f` nt„s h`ttnlh cire`r `imc
tnf`. Ucit„s wcy N sbf`tnf`s mbf` c`r` a`dbr` hbnlh cbf`―
`v`l wc`l N ebl„t pjil tb. N„f idrine dbr fy ditc`r tb s`` f`jno` tcns. N„f idrine bd wcit c`„jj eb nd c` eb`s.
E`imbl fbv`s tb snt bl tc` djbbr l`xt tb tc` mbumc, ile
jiys cns c`ie bl tc` muscnbl l`xt tb fnl`. ‚^bu„v` stnjj hbt r`e
cinr,‖ c` wcnsp`rs. ‚N jno` nt.‖
‚N„f wiscnlh nt but tc` fnlut` N h`t cbf`,‖ N siy, stirnlh
aimo nltb cns wirf arbwl `y`s. C` sfnj`s.
‚^bu„r` rnhct. N cit` nt,‖ c` ihr``s. ‚^bu jbbo a`tt`r is i
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Uc` Q@F@E^ ==
ajble`.‖ N sfnj`, murjnlh up ile fbvnlh mjbs`r. ‚Iirbl t`xt`e
f` `irjn`r,‖ c` siys. ‚Ubje f` ybu jndt`e i U-scnrt drbf tc`
difnjy.‖
Eifl nt, Iirbl. ‚Nt wisl„t jno` tcit.‖
‚Xbujel„t mir` nd nt wis,‖ E`imbl siys. ‚N wis kust wble`r-
nlh iabut tc` U-scnrt. Aile2‖
N jiuhc. ‚^`ic. Qbjjnlh ]tbl`s. Bl` wntc tc` anh tblhu`.‖
‚Lnm`.‖
X`„r` qun`t dbr i jnttj` ant ile fy `y`s stirt tb h`t c`ivy,`v`l tcbuhc fy fnle wbl„t stbp rimnlh. E`imbl r`imc`s bv`r
tb sjne` i strile bd cinr a`cnle fy `ir. ‚Ijtcbuhc `dd`mtnv`,‖ c`
siys qun`tjy, ‚ybur f`tcbe bd mjbsnlh nsl„t hbbe dbr ybu, Yunll.
b̂u scbujel„t tio` nt ijj bl jno` tcit.‖
‚N olbw,‖ N t`jj cnf. ‚Aut wcit mil N siy2 ]bf`tnf`s fy
c`irt stnjj a`its.‖
C` sfnj`s. ‚Uc`l nt„s i hbbe tcnlh N rnpp`e fnl` but. Nt wis
i pinl nl tc` iss. Fumc jno` ybu. A` rnhct aimo.‖ C` stiles ile
j`iv`s tc` rbbf. N c`ir cnf fbvnlh irbule nl tc` ontmc`l, ile
tc`l c` r`turls wntc i hjiss bd wit`r. C` cbjes but tc` ernlo
ile i tnly wcnt` pnjj tcit c` siys wnjj c`jp f` sj``p. N snt up iletio` abtc ippr`mnitnv`jy.
‚^bu scbuje tcnlo iabut mcilhnlh ybur f`tcbes,‖ c` mbl-
tnlu`s wc`l N jn` aimo ebwl. ‚Nd lbt dbr ybu, tc`l fiya` dbr
fy p`im` bd fnle.‖ C` mbv`rs f` wntc tc` ajilo`t ile onss`s
fy dbr`c`ie. ‚^`jj nd ybu l``e f`, boiy2 Plj`ss ybu wilt f`
tb stiy.‖
‚Lb, ybu h`t sbf` sj``p,‖ N t`jj cnf. X` pius` dbr i jblh
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=5 ]uzill` ^bulh
fbf`lt is c` e`mne`s wc`tc`r br lbt N f`il nt. N sfnj` sbdtjy.
‚^bu„r` i hbbe drn`le,‖ N furfur.
Ucns fio`s cnf mcumoj` a`mius` nt„s bur l`w hb-tb pcris`
wc`l`v`r ̀ ntc`r bd us cis tc` nlmjnlitnbl tb ensmuss tc` pbssnanj-
nty bd cbbonlh up. O``ps us hrbule`e. ‚Nt„s tbb aie, rnhct2‖ c`
isos, strinhct`lnlh up. ‚A`t nt„s c`jj jbbonlh it tcns dim` ijj tc`
tnf`.‖ C` fbe`js cns kiwjnl`, lirrbwnlh cns `y`s.
‚N mil air`jy r`strinl fys`jd fbst eiys,‖ N siy. ‚Aut, jumonjy,
ybu tijo. Ile tc` sp`jj ns arbo`l.‖‚Isscbj`,‖ c` siys wntc i jiuhc. X` siy hbbe lnhct, ile tc`l
E`imbl hb`s upstinrs. N jnst`l tb tc` mr`ionlh djbbrabires iabv`
f` is c` wijos imrbss cns rbbf, snj`lm` wc`l c` h`ts nltb a`e.
]bf` eiys N r`ijjy eb wnsc nt wbuje civ` wbro`e but wntc
us―tnf`s jno` lbw, wc`l N„f ijj ijbl`. N mbuje jn` tb fys`jd―
sjnp nltb cns a`e tblnhct ile pr`t`le w`„r` endd`r`lt. Aut nl tc`
fbrlnlh E`imbl wbuje a` mbje, imt jno` nt wis i fnstio`. N„e
ritc`r lbt t`ir bp`l tcit bje wbule. X`„r` a`tt`r bdd tcns wiy,
kust jno` N tbje Iirbl.
N mjbs` fy `y`s, ile nl tc` qun`t N tcnlo iabut fy dutur`;
snx fbr` fbltcs bd pr`t`lenlh a`dbr` N mil jnv` fy jnd` dujj-tnf`. Aut `v`l tc`l, N civ` tb wble`r nd ilybl` wnjj `v`r wilt
f`, jbv` f`―tc` r`ij f`. Br nd tc`y„jj bljy `v`r wilt f` is
sbf`bl` `js`.
‚Yunljil,‖ E`imbl siys drbf sbf`wc`r` mjbs` ay. ‚Yunll―
ybur eie„s c`r`.‖
Fy `y`s djy bp`l, ile nt tio`s f` i fnlut` tb r`mbhlnz`
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Uc` Q@F@E^ =0
fy surrbulenlhs. Uc` rbbf ns enf, aut jnhcts drbf i mir nl tc`
ernv`wiy dnjt`r nl drbf a`cnle tc` ajnles. N snt up ile str`tmc.
Xc`l N enel„t mbf` cbf`, N„f sur` fy eie ol`w ̀ ximtjy wc`r`
tb dnle f`. E`imbl m`rtinljy wbujel„t civ` tbje cnf. Fy eie
onle bd cit`s cnf, ile tc` d``jnlh ns `ltnr`jy futuij.
Boiy, ‚cit`‖ ns tbb strblh i wbre dbr tc`nr r`jitnblscnp.
Xc`l E`imbl wis ybulh`r, fy eie c`je cnf up is tc` ̀ xifpj`
dbr ijj bd us. Aut tbwire tc` `le, E`imbl a`mif` e`dnilt, ile
`le`e up sp`lenlh ijfbst `v`ry r`turl nl tc`ripy. Fy ditc`rtcbuhct c` wis a`mbfnlh i jnianjnty, ile tc`l abbf―E`imbl
cie i f``tnlh ile wis but bd cns mbltrimt `irjy, i dimt N enel„t
j`irl ultnj idt`r w` arbo` up. Fy ditc`r iso`e f` tb stbp cilh-
nlh but wntc cnf, aut l`ntc`r E`imbl lbr N jno`e tcit ne`i.
‚Ene c` mbf` tb tc` ebbr2‖ N iso, stilenlh ile dbjenlh tc`
ajilo`t tb jiy nt bv`r tc` aimo bd tc` sbdi.
‚Lb,‖ E`imbl r`spbles. ‚Aut c` mijj`e fy pcbl` i d`w
tnf`s ile tc`l scbw`e up. C` a``p`e tc` cbrl, wcnmc N„f sur`
fy l`nhcabrs jbv`e.‖
‚^bu w`r` ijwiys cns divbrnt`.‖
E`imbl slbrts i jiuhc ile tc`l j`iv`s tb hria fy aimo-pimo drbf tc` abttbf bd tc` stinrs. N sjnp bl fy scb`s, r`iey-
nlh fys`jd dbr il `xpjilitnbl. Ijtcbuhc N„v` mbf` tb E`imbl„s
upbl r`turl a`dbr`, tblnhct wis jit`r tcil usuij. Nt„s prbaiajy
twb nl tc` fbrlnlh. Uc`r`„s i sjnhct twnlh` bd hunjt is N tcnlo
iabut fy ditc`r wbrrynlh. N fiy a` ilhry tcit c` wis mc`monlh
up bl f`, aut N enel„t f`il tb curt cnf. C`„s fy eie. N jbv`
cnf e`spnt` cns ditc`rjy nlstnlmts.
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=4 ]uzill` ^bulh
N wijo tb tc` drblt, fy c`ie stnjj dbhhy drbf tc` sj``pnlh
pnjj, ile E`imbl sjne`s fy aimopimo bv`r fy scbuje`rs, cuh-
hnlh f` blm` drbf a`cnle. ‚Mijj f` tbfbrrbw,‖ c` siys a`dbr`
bp`lnlh tc` ebbr. ‚U`jj Eie N sine cn.‖
‚Lnhct,‖ N siy, ile tcilo cnf a`dbr` wijonlh but tc` ebbr.
Xc`l N h`t bl tc` drblt pbrmc, N cbje up fy pijf tb e`dj`mt
tc` jnhct drbf tc` mir. Fy eie swntmc`s tb tc` brilh` hjbw bd tc`
pironlh jnhcts ile N stirt tbwire cnf. N mil kust fio` but cns snj-
cbu`tt` a`cnle tc` wc``j. N fnhct a` nfihnlnlh nt, aut cns pbstur`jbbos pnss`e.
N civ` tb r`fnle fys`jd tcit N„f tc` wrblh`e pirty c`r`―
c` wis spynlh bl f`. Aut ay tc` tnf` N h`t tb tc` mir, fy
r`sbjv` cis die`e ile N ipbjbhnz` tc` fnlut` N mjnfa nltb tc`
piss`lh`r s`it.
‚N d`jj isj``p,‖ N t`jj cnf. ‚N enel„t f`il tb stiy tcns jit`.‖
‚N ebl„t tcnlo N wilt tc` e`tinjs, Yunll,‖ c` siys scbrtjy,
ile djnmos bl cns jnhcts. ‚Lbt tb f`ltnbl ybur pirtl`r j`dt i
aulmc bd trinj fnx nl fy mir.‖
N slbrt i jiuhc, aut qunmojy mbv`r fy fbutc wc`l fy
ditc`r hjir`s it f`. C` puts cns irf irbule fy c`ier`st ileturls tb aimo us but bd tc` ernv`wiy. C` muts tc` wc``j cire
a`dbr` spnllnlh irbule ile k`ttnlh dbrwire, squ`ijnlh tc` tnr`s
bd tc` mir. ^̀ ic, N„e siy c`„s i jnttj` pnss`e. Ile nt cis lbtcnlh tb
eb wntc Iirbl„s jimo bd mblsne`ritnbl.
C` eb`sl„t sp`io ihinl rnhct iwiy, aut N witmc cnf, wint-
nlh dbr tc` j`mtur`. Cns pbwe`r-aju` sw`it`r ns wrnloj`e jno` c`
pujj`e nt bl is il idt`rtcbuhct wcnj` stbrfnlh but tc` ebbr. N
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Uc` Q@F@E^ =8
wble`r nd c „̀s stnjj w`irnlh i pikifi tbp ule`rl`itc. Cns tcnl-
lnlh cinr ns kust tc` sif`, ile cns wnr` hjiss`s mitmc tc` hjbw bd
tc` str``tjnhcts is w` piss ule`r tc`f. Cns tnhct ̀ xpr`ssnbl ile
dbrm`e snj`lm` hnv` iwiy cns fbbe.
‚N ipbjbhnz`e,‖ N siy idt`r ilbtc`r ihblnznlh fbf`lt bd
qun`t. ‚Ns tc`r` sbf`tcnlh ybu„e jno` tb siy tb f`, Ditc`r2‖
C` hjilm`s bv`r, jbbonlh illby`e tcit N„e `v`l kbo` irbule.
N jndt fy `y`arbw, j`ttnlh cnf olbw N„f a`nlh `ltnr`jy s`rnbus―
w`jj, `xm`pt dbr tc` Ditc`r ant.‚^`s,‖ c` siys, turlnlh iwiy. ‚]tbp cilhnlh but wntc E`imbl.‖
‚Lb e`ij,‖ N siy, sjippnlh fy pijf bl tc` eiscabire jno`
N„f i hif` scbw mblt`stilt. C` eb`sl„t jiuhc, aut tc` mbrl`r bd
cns fbutc eb`s cntmc up a`dbr` c` purpbs`dujjy strinhct`ls nt. N
pius`, tc` a`triyij stirtnlh tb tcnmo`l nl fy v`nls.
‚^bu eb bw` f` il ipbjbhy,‖ N siy fbr` qun`tjy, ile j`il
aimo nl tc` s`it, turlnlh tb jbbo but tc` wnlebw. ‚Dbr spynlh
bl f`.‖
C` eb`sl„t e`ly nt nff`enit`jy, ile il imc` e`v`jbps nl
fy mc`st, spnrijnlh ebwl tb bp`l i cbj` nl fy hut. N mj`lmc fy
t``tc ile wint dbr il `xpjilitnbl.‚N„f prbt`mtnlh ybu,‖ c` iefnts. ‚ b̂u„v` stbpp`e tijonlh tb
f` iabut tc` issnhlf`lts? N l``e`e ilbtc`r sid`huire.‖
‚^bu mbuje iso,‖ N siy. ‚ b̂u mbuje kust iso, Eie.‖
C` `xcij`s, ile jbbos bv`r. ‚^bu„r` rnhct. N„f sbrry. N„jj j`t
Firn` olbw sc` mil stbp tc` qu`stnbls. N wis kust . . . wbrrn`e.‖
‚X`jj, N„f cbf` lbw. ]b ybu mil put ybur mip` aimo nl tc`
eriw`r.‖ C` mcumoj`s, ile tc` fbbe nl tc` mir wirfs. ‚Ile
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=3 ]uzill` ^bulh
ybu ebl„t civ` tb a` sb f`il tb E`imbl,‖ N t`jj cnf. ‚C`„s lbt
i t`rrnaj` nldju`lm`. I aie bl`, sur`. Aut lbt t`rrnaj`.‖
C` hjilm`s it tc` tnf` jnt up bl tc` eisc. ‚Nt„s twb dbrty-
s`v`l nl tc` fbrlnlh, Yunll. Wj`is` ebl„t hnv` f` nlenh`stnbl
a`dbr` a`e.‖
‚Hrbss.‖ X` abtc jiuhc, bur dnhct `le`e. Ay tc` tnf` w`
h`t cbf`, idt`r il bajnhitbry rne` tcrbuhc tc` ernv`-tcrbuhc,
w`„r` kbonlh iabut Iirbl„s dimnij cinr ile cbw fy ditc`r scbuje
s`le cnf il bddnmnij j`tt`r tb m`is` ile e`snst nts hrbwtc a`dbr`tc` l`xt issnhlf`lt.
Uc` drblt pbrmc jnhct ns ajiznlh, tc` soy iabv` us i fnelnhct
aju` a`mius` bd tc` bv`rmist soy. N civ` i fbf`lt bd issnfnji-
tnbl is N pius` nl fy dby`r―tc` ̀ ltnr` jiybut p`rd`mtjy pjill`e
dbr r``ltry nltb fy jnd`. Uc`r` ir` pnmtur`s bd f` hrbwnlh up,
aiay ajble arines ile i hip-tbbtc`e sfnj`. Fy fbtc`r, wcb N
mil„t r`f`fa`r, ajbws but anrtceiy milej`s l`xt tb f`. Uc`r`„s
i mbit cilhnlh bl tc` rimo iabv` tc` scb` a`lmc. Nt„s eiro aju`
wntc djill`j trnf, culh tc`r` y`ir-rbule `v`l tcbuhc N civ`l„t
wbrl nt nl y`irs. Nt„s ijwiys tc`r` tb hrbule f`. Fnrrbrs bl
abtc sne`s bd tc` rbbf sb N mil mc`mo fy r`dj`mtnbl. N wijotbwire tc` ontmc`l tcrbuhc i tull`j bd Yunljil FmO``s.
N onmo bdd fy scb`s ile tc`l st`p bv`r tc`f, c`irnlh
fy ditc`r tso is c` j`ils ebwl tb pnmo tc`f up a`cnle f`.
Lbw tcit N„f cbf`, N mil„t wint tb h`t aimo tb bur abrnlh bje
rbutnl`s―tc` onle tcit r`fnle f` tcit N„f r`ij. Ucr`` lnhcts
nl i rbw bd e`jnv`ry pnzzi. Aie fie`-dbr-UT fbvn`s tbh`tc`r bl
i ]itureiy lnhct. Uc` ensmussnbls bd wc`r` tb hb bl tc` difnjy
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Uc` Q@F@E^ =>
vimitnbl w` l`v`r civ` tnf` tb tio`. Ucbs` ir` tc` tcnlhs N
fnss wc`l N„f hbl`―tc` fuleil`. Uc` bljy tnf` w` abtc
dbrh`t tcit N„f i mjbs`r. N tbss fy mrufpj`e wcnt` tio`but aih
bl tc` ontmc`l tiaj` ile snt ebwl, riv`lbusjy culhry. N„f bljy
bl` ant` nltb fy aurrntb wc`l N lbtnm` tc` mup bd mbdd``, cijd
erulo, imrbss drbf f` it fy ditc`r„s s`it. Uc` mjbs`e dnj` wntc
i p`l l`xt tb nt. Fy stbfimc snlos.
N spnl irbule kust is fy ditc`r ̀ lt`rs tc` rbbf. Cns ̀ xpr`s-
snbl ns sbj`fl ile c` sjnps cns ciles nltb cns pbmo`ts. N„f mbf-pj`t`jy stull`e. Ucns ns wcy c` wilt`e f` cbf` sb qunmojy.
‚Lb,‖ N siy, ensa`jn`vnlh. ‚N mil„t hb. Nt„s tbb sbbl.‖
C` lbes nl ihr``f`lt, aut tc`r`„s lb mcilh` nl cns r`sbjv`.
‚N„f sbrry, aut tc`y l``e ybu,‖ c` r`spbles. ‚^bu j`iv` tc` eiy
idt`r tbfbrrbw.‖
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Mcipt`r Dbur
IABPU DNDU@@L ^@IQ] IHB, Q@LBXL@E WC^]NMNIL
Irtcur Wrntmcire aunjt bl tc` ne`i bd rbj` pjiynlh nl triufi
mbuls`jnlh ay `fa`eenlh tc`ripnsts nl p`bpj`„s jnv`s. C` dnh-
ur`e but tcit hrn`d sbf`tnf`s j`e tb e`pr`ssnbl ile tcbuhct
tcit nd c` mbuje `rienmit` bl`, c` mbuje j`ss`l tc` btc`r. Xbro-
nlh ule`r Er. Wrntmcire, fy ditc`r us`e tc` nlntnij tc`brn`s ile
`xpile`e bl tc` r`s`irmc. Mjbs`rs w`r` `stiajnsc`e ile sbje isi r`f`ey dbr tc` arbo`lc`irt`e, tc` mur` dbr hrn`d. Bd mburs`,
hrn`d nsl„t muriaj` , aut nt mil a` tr`it`e. Mbltrbjj`e. @v`ltuijjy,
fy ditc`r ile Firn`, wcb wis cns issnstilt, tbbo bv`r tc` hrn`d
e`pirtf`lt `ltnr`jy, s`jjnlh tc`nr s`rvnm`s tb tcbs` wcb mbuje
iddbre tc` p`im` bd fnle. Fy eie s`t up sid`huires tb prbt`mt
tc` mjbs`rs, tb prbt`mt f`. Ile bl` bd tc` strnmt`st ruj`s bd ijj ns
tcit mjbs`rs l`v`r civ` aimo-tb-aimo issnhlf`lts.
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Uc` Q@F@E^ 59
Xc`l tc` e`pirtf`lt wis dnrst mr`it`e, mjbs`rs w`r` pine
p`r issnhlf`lt ritc`r tcil bl mbltrimt. Is i r`sujt, fily
tbbo bl fujtnpj` rbj`s tb fio` `xtri misc. Aut tc`l Ij`xile`r
O`jj cipp`l`e. C` j`ip`e bdd tc` dndtc-djbbr rbbd bd tc` cbs-
pntij wc`r` cns fbtc`r wbro`e. C`„e r`m`ltjy dnlnsc`e tcr``
jblh-t`rf kbas aimo-tb-aimo, ile cns ievnsbr cie stumo cnf nl
tc`ripy nle`dnlnt`jy tb mbltrbj cns `rritnm a`civnbr. Kust a`dbr`
c` kufp`e, Ij`xile`r tbje cns fbtc`r c`„e ritc`r a` e`ie tcil
stirt bv`r ihinl.Uc` l`xt fbltc, D`jnmni Qbss ensipp`ir`e drbf c`r ebrf
rbbf wcnj` bl issnhlf`lt it mbjj`h`. ]c` wis pjiynlh tc` pirt
bd il nlmbfnlh dr`scfil―tc` pir`lts wiltnlh c`r tb itt`le
tc` dnrst eiy bd smcbbj snlm` tc`nr r`ij eiuhct`r l`v`r hbt tc`
mcilm`. D`jnmni cie bljy a``l cbf` drbf c`r jist issnhlf`lt
dbr i w``o wc`l fy ditc`r bdd`r`e c`r tcns bl`. ]c` wis hbl`
dbur eiys jit`r, ile lb bl` cis c`ire drbf c`r snlm`.
Is fbr̀ ile fbr̀ mjbs`rs ril bdd, tc` `dd`mt wis e`vistit-
nlh tb abtc fy ditc`r ile tc` btc`rs nl tc` hrn`d e`pirtf`lt.
Mbltrimts wntc strnmt hune`jnl`s w`r` mr`it`e tb o``p mjbs`rs drbf
bv`r wbronlh. Ucbs` ruj`s w`r` ̀ stiajnsc`e dbr bur w`jj-a ǹlh, ileN mil„t nfihnl` wcy fy ditc`r wbuje wilt tb ar`io tc`f lbw.
N erbp fy aurrntb bl nts wripp`r, fy ipp`tnt` tcbrbuhcjy
stbfp`e but. C` wbujel„t iso tcns bd f` nd nt wisl„t nfpbr-
tilt, aut N„f stnjj kirr`e ay tc` r`qu`st. It tc` sif` tnf`, tc`
mjbs`r pirt bd f` ns murnbus. N„v` a``l bl tbb fily issnhlf`lts
tb mbult, aut N„v` rir`jy a``l s`lt but nl tc` sif` fbltc, j`t
ijbl` tc` sif` w``o. Xcy lbw2 Xcy c`r2
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51 ]uzill` ^bulh
Fy ditc`r snts imrbss drbf f` it tc` tiaj` ile sjne`s tc`
dnj` nl fy enr`mtnbl. C` tio`s i swnh bd cns mbje mbdd`` wntcbut
wnlmnlh. N erih tc` dbje`r nl drblt bd f` ile smil tc` lif`
bl tc` tia.
MIUIJNLI AIQL@]
N bp`l tc` mbv`r ile djnp tc` pcbtb rnhct sne` up tb stuey
fy l`w issnhlf`lt. N„f nff`enit`jy strumo ay c`r `y`s―i
e``p eiro arbwl wntc dijs` jisc`s ile wnlh`e `y`jnl`r. Uc`y
spiroj`, aut tc`y„r` ijsb tcbuhctduj ile nlt`r`stnlh. N„jj civ` tb w`ir mbjbr`e mbltimts ihinl tb cne` fy aju` `y`s.
‚]c` en`e i jnttj` bv`r i w``o ihb,‖ fy ditc`r siys, r`imcnlh
tb tio` i pih` drbf tc` dnj` ile s`ttnlh nt nl drblt bd f`. Nt„s
i e`itc m`rtndnmit`. N smil nt ile dnle tc` nff`enit` mius` bd
e`itc jnst`e is ‚ule`t`rfnl`e.‖ N„v` l`v`r s``l tc` e`itc m`rtn-
dnmit` a`dbr`? tc`y„r` lbt usuijjy nl tc` dnj`. Ijr`iey N mil t`jj
Mitijnli„s endd`r`lt―tc`r` ir` fbr` tc`ripy lbt`s drbf ebmtbrs
wcb civ` stuen`e c`r mis`. N hjilm` up it fy ditc`r, aut c`„s
s`irmcnlh tcrbuhc tc` dnj` dbr ilbtc`r pnmtur`.
‚Uc`s` ir` Mitijnli„s pir`lts,‖ c` mbltnlu`s, tippnlh tc`
pcbtb bd i typnmij suaurail mbupj`. ‚Uc`y„r` lbt mbpnlh w`jj,‖fy ditc`r siys. ‚N„v` a``l tr`itnlh tc`f fys`jd, aut tcns ns bl`
bd tc` tbuhc`st mis`s N„v` `v`r cie. Uc`y„v` fie` tc`fs`jv`s
snmo bv`r nt, ile tc`y l``e mjbsur`.‖ C` tio`s bdd cns hjiss`s
tb pnlmc cns dnlh`rs imrbss tc` arneh` bd cns lbs`. C` jbbos
`xciust`e. N hjilm` ebwl it tc` pnmtur`.
Uc` fbf ipp`irs tb a` nl c`r tcnrtn`s, scbrt cinr ile sbdt
d`itur`s. ]c` s``fs sw``t, jno` tc` onle bd fbtc`r wcb pimos
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Uc` Q@F@E^ 5=
julmc aihs wntc lbt`s tcit siy N JBT@ ^BP. Uc` ditc`r ns anh ile
stbmoy, i t`eey-a`ir typ` wntc i auscy fustimc` ile hriynlh
arbwl cinr. Uc`y„r` abtc jbv`jy, ile N„f nff`enit`jy sbrry tcit
tc`y„v` jbst tc`nr eiuhct`r. N„f sur` tc`y jbv`e c`r i jbt.
‚Cbw ene sc` en`2‖ N iso qun`tjy, djnppnlh aimo tb tc` pnm-
tur` bd Mitijnli. Fy ditc`r s``fs tio`l iaimo ay tc` qu`s-
tnbl. Ijtcbuhc N usuijjy olbw cbw tc` issnhlf`lts en`e (mir
immne`lt, dbr nlstilm`), nt„s fbrane ile ensr`sp`mtduj tb iso dbr
e`tinjs. Ile nt fio`s pjiynlh tc`f tcit fumc fbr` enddnmujt.Ub a` c`r, N civ` tb nfihnl` c`r ijnv`. Ijnv` ile ar`itcnlh wntc
tcbuhcts ile e`snr`s ile hbijs. Btc`rwns` N„f kust ilbtc`r
mbuls`jbr.
‚X`„r` stnjj wintnlh dbr tc` iutbpsy r`sujts,‖ fy ditc`r siys.
C` pujjs but ilbtc`r pnmtur`, ile N d``j tc` w`nhct bd cns stir`.
‚Ucns ns iabut fbr` tcil Mitijnli„s difnjy, tcbuhc,‖ c` siys,
slippnlh tc` mbrl`r bd i pcbtb is c` jiys nt nl drblt bd f`.
N nff`enit`jy turl tb cnf, mbldus`e ile ijirf`e. ‚Ucns ns
Mitijnli„s abydrn`le,‖ c` siys. ‚C`„s pirt bd tc` mjbsur`.‖
‚Xcit2‖ N iso, jbbonlh aimo it tc` pnmtur`. Mjbsur` ns typn-
mijjy dbr difnjy bljy. Ucns huy . . . N stuey cnf, lbtnmnlh tc` wiyc` snts l`xt tb Mitijnli bl i a`lmc, cbw c` stir`s it tc` sne` bd
c`r dim`, cns ̀ xpr`ssnbl i pbrtrint bd iefnritnbl. Mitijnli sfnj`s
dbr tc` mif`ri, aut c`r abydrn`le s``fs utt`rjy mblsuf`e ay
c`r. Uc`r`„s i sfijj twnlh` bd jblhnlh, ile N pusc tc` pcbtb
isne` ile turl tb fy eie.
‚N mil„t eb tcit,‖ N siy. ‚Wir`lts ile snajnlhs ir` cire
`lbuhc. C`jj, N ebl„t `v`l nlt`rimt wntc tc`nr drn`les. Ile tcns
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55 ]uzill` ^bulh
huy jbv`e c`r. Jbbo cbw c`„s witmcnlh c`r,‖ N t`jj cnf, pbnltnlh
tb tc` abydrn`le„s dim`. ‚Xcit nd c` trn`s tb onss f` br sbf`-
tcnlh2 Cbw if N suppbs`e tb cilej` tcit2‖
‚Uc` sif` wiy ybu e`dus` ily sntuitnbl,‖ fy ditc`r siys
s`rnbusjy. ‚^bu r`enr`mt, ybu r`iss`rt tc` r`jitnblscnp `lenlh
tc`y r`qunr`, ile nd tcit dinjs, ybu mbltimt Firn` dbr durtc`r
nlt`rv`ltnbl.‖
‚I abydrn`le,‖ N r`p`it nlmr`eujbusjy, hjilmnlh ebwl it
cnf. ‚Xcit„s cns lif`2‖‚Nsiim W`r`z.‖
Uc`r` ir` ijj sbrts bd mbfp`tnlh `fbtnbls nl fy c`irt, tc`
finl bl` a`nlh d`ir. Is i mjbs`r, N„v` bmmisnblijjy cie tb e`ij
wntc bv`rittimc`e pir`lts. Boiy, N„v` bdt`l cie tb e`ij wntc
bv`rittimc`e pir`lts. Aut tcns wbuje a` endd`r`lt. Ucns ns i
p``r, i abydrn`le, i huy wcb„s prbaiajy fie` but wntc Mitijnli
i culer`e tnf`s, scir`e s`mr`ts wntc c`r. Wir`lts ujtnfit`jy
olbw tc` endd`r`lm` a`tw``l f` ile tc`nr eiuhct`r, tc`nr dj`sc
ile ajbbe. Iee cbrfbl`s tb tc` fnx, ile N„f lbt `ltnr`jy mbl-
dne`lt nl tc` butmbf` bd tcns mjbsur`.
‚Eie, N ebl„t tcnlo―‖‚C`„s r`dusnlh tc`ripy,‖ fy ditc`r siys qun`tjy. I qunmo
mcnjj scbbts up fy irfs, cbjjbws but fy mc`st. Is sbf`bl`
wcb cit`s tijonlh, N mil ule`rstile tc` iv`rsnbl―aut r`dusnlh
tc`ripy ns nlsil`.
‚Q`dusnlh2‖ N iso, kust tb fio` sur` N„f mj`ir bl tc` stio`s.
Fy ditc`r lbes.
Nd Nsiim r`dus`s tc`ripy aut mbltnlu`s tb e`mjnl`, tc`y wnjj
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Uc` Q@F@E^ 50
iefnt cnf tb tc` psymcnitrnm wire bd tc` cbspntij. Nt„s wcit tc`y
eb dbr p`bpj` it rnso―p`bpj` r`dusnlh c`jp―ais`e bl tc` l`w
mbe`s `stiajnsc`e dbr f`ltij c`ijtc stianjnty. Ucns aby wnjj a`
mbffntt`e, ile lb bl` olbws cbw jblh nt wnjj a` a`dbr` c`„s
j`t but ihinl. N tcnlo bd cns iefnrnlh `xpr`ssnbl ile cit` tc`
ne`i bd cnf a`nlh jbmo`e iwiy.
‚Nsiim ns bljy pirt bd tc` issnhlf`lt,‖ fy ditc`r siys, dbje-
nlh cns ciles bl tc` tiaj` nl drblt bd cnf. ‚Uc` pir`lts ir`
bur finl mblm`rl dbr lbw. Uc`y civ` ilbtc`r mcnje, aut sc`„smbfpj`t`e tc`ripy ile imcn`v`e summ`ss. ]c` eb`sl„t wilt tb a`
i pirt bd tc` c`ijnlh prbm`ss, sb sc`„s jnvnlh wntc r`jitnv`s eurnlh
ybur stiy.‖
‚Ile cbw jblh wnjj tcit a`2‖ N iso. Fy jist issnhlf`lt wis
twb eiys, ile lbw tcit N„f cbf`, N„f r`iey tb h`t aimo tb fy
r`ij jnd`. Fy ditc`r„s qun`t dbr i jblh fbf`lt, ile N jndt fy `y`s
nl cns enr`mtnbl. ‚Eie2 Cbw jblh2‖
‚Uc` issnhlf`lt ns dbr twb w``os.‖
N hisp, dr``-dijj nltb mbldusnbl ile pilnm. ‚Ucit„s tbb jblh!‖
N siy. ‚^bu mil„t . . . wcit2 Eie, w`„r` lbt ijjbw`e―‖
‚X`„r` fionlh il `xm`ptnbl. Yunll, N mil„t t`jj ybu cbwnfpbrtilt tcns issnhlf`lt ns. Nd tc`r` wis ilybl` `js` . . .‖ C`
stbps, pnlo rnsnlh bl cns mc``os. Cns r`spbls` fio`s f` pius`.
C` eb`sl„t tcnlo tcns ns i hbbe ne`i `ntc`r.
‚^bu olbw tcns ns eilh`rbus,‖ N siy. ‚Xcy ns Mitijnli
Airl`s sb nfpbrtilt2 ]c`„s lbt tc` dnrst e`ie t``lih`r nl
Br`hbl, Eie.‖ Bumc. Uc` wbres ir` nls`lsntnv`, ile N wnlm` it
fy bwl mijjbusl`ss. Ijtcbuhc N try lbt tb h`t ittimc`e tb fy
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54 ]uzill` ^bulh
issnhlf`lts, N olbw fbr` tcil ilyabey tc` hrivnty bd tc`nr
sntuitnbl. Uc`y„r` lbt mbfnlh aimo. Uc`nr jnv`s ir` bv`r, ile nt„s
i trihnm tcnlh.
Fy ditc`r„s scbuje`rs stndd`l, ile c` pusc`s tc` pip`rs aimo
nltb tc` dbje`r ile mjbs`s tc` dnj`. ‚ b̂u„r` rnhct,‖ c` ihr``s. ‚Aut
tcns r`qu`st ns mbfnlh drbf a`yble tc` e`pirtf`lt, drbf fy
abss. Nd ybu ebl„t tcnlo ybu mil c`jp tc` Airl`s difnjy, w`„jj
mbltimt tc` btc`r ievnsbrs ihinl. ]`` nd ilbtc`r mjbs`r mil a`
arbuhct nl nl tnf`. Aut nt„s lbt jno`jy. Ucns bl` ns djihh`e dbrnff`enit` nlt`rv`ltnbl.‖
Uc` wbres `mcb tcrbuhc tc` rbbf. Nt„s rir` tcit fy ditc`r„s
abss isos i divbr. Bljy E`imbl cis `v`r f`t Irtcur Wrntmcire,
ile c` qunt sbbl idt`r. ‚Ucns ns eilh`rbus,‖ N r`p`it qun`tjy.
‚]b wcy f`2‖ N„f smir`e bd jbsnlh fys`jd, aut N„f ijsb smir`e bd
dinjnlh tc` difnjy. Dinjnlh fy ditc`r.
‚^bu„r` tc` a`st.‖
‚Aut N„f ybur eiuhct`r.‖
Fy ditc`r jbw`rs cns `y`s, cns `xpr`ssnbl tnhct`lnlh is c`
struhhj`s wntc tc` sif` tcbuhct. Xc`l c` jbbos it f` ihinl,
ijj N mil s`` ns cbw fumc c` mir`s iabut f`. Cbw N if cnsprne` ile kby―cns hr`it`st imcn`v`f`lt. Cns a`jn`d nl f` l`v`r
wiv`rs.
Dbr tc` jist `j`v`l y`irs, N„v` mbfpj`t`e `v`ry issnhlf`lt
c`„s hnv`l f` wntcbut diujt, `xm`pt dbr tc` bmmisnblij tio`l
nt`f. N ebl„t smr`w up. Fy ditc`r ns trujy e`vbt`e tb cns pitn`lts,
e`vbt`e tb tc`nr w`jj-a`nlh―ile c` mbults bl f` tb c`jp
tc`f. C`„s i hbbe fil, ile N„f iscif`e bd fy s`jdnscl`ss,
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Uc` Q@F@E^ 58
hunjty lbw tcit fy ditc`r cis fie` nt mj`ir wcit„s it stio`. N
swijjbw cire, lbeenlh tcit N ule`rstile.
‚Xcy twb w``os2‖ N iso. ‚Xcy sb jblh2‖
‚Nt„s ijj nl tc` dnj`.‖ C` tips tc` mjbs`e dbje`r. ‚Yunll,‖ c`
siys, j`ilnlh nltb tc` tiaj`. ‚N olbw N sprulh tcns bl ybu, aut
N prbfns` ybu„r` strblh `lbuhc. N wbujel„t civ` iso`e btc`r-
wns`.‖
‚Ns tcns wcy Firn` wis isonlh Iirbl iabut fy stit` bd
fnle2‖ N iso, r`ijnznlh lbw tc` purpbs` bd tc` l`w jnl` bd qu`s-tnblnlh. ‚Ene sc` t`jj ybu N wis dnt dbr tc` kba2‖
C` lbes. ‚]c` ene. N wilt`e tb fio` sur` a`dbr` N s`lt ybu
nl. Jbbo, N civ` lb ebuat ybu mil eb tcns, aut nt„s i anh mbf-
fntf`lt. Bl` N cbp` ybu„jj l`v`r civ` tb r`p`it.‖ Fy ditc`r
stiles up ile pusc`s nl cns mcinr.
‚Nt„s hbtt`l jit`,‖ c` siys. ‚Xcy ebl„t ybu tio` tc` lnhct
tb tcnlo iabut nt ile w`„jj tijo fbr` nl tc` fbrlnlh.‖ C`
j`ils ebwl tb onss tc` tbp bd fy c`ie, aut N stir` strinhct
ic`ie, bv`rwc`jf`e ay fy r`spblsnanjnty. N furfur i ‚hbbe
lnhct‖ rnhct idt`r c` wijos but, ile tc`l jbbo ebwl it tc`
dnj` wintnlh bl tc` ontmc`l tiaj`. Jbbo it tc` jnd` N„f iabuttb dnlnsc.
Idt`r tbssnlh fy ul`it`l aurrntb nl tc` trisc, N hria fy aimo-
pimo ile hb upstinrs. N tio` i qunmo scbw`r tb wisc tc` r`e
ey` but bd fy cinr, ile tc`l c`ie tb fy rbbf. Xc`l N wijo
nl, N„f t`fpbrirnjy enspjim`e ay nts difnjnirnty. Fy tijj qu``l
a`e―lbt fie`, l`v`r fie`―wntc eiro wbbe drif`. Fy pij`
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53 ]uzill` ^bulh
pnlo wijjs ebtt`e wntc i wcnt` ile snjv`r pitt`rl tcit E`imbl
e`snhl`e. N tbje cnf nt jbbo`e jno` i djbw`r―c` tbje f` nt wis
i mrnmo`t. @ntc`r wiy, nt„s pr`tty mbbj. N s`t tc` dnj` bl fy vilnty
tiaj` ile mrbss tb tc` wijo-nl mjbs`t, fy aimopimo c`ivy bl fy
scbuje`r. Fy kiw mjnmos wc`l N yiwl.
Uc` mjbs`t ns dnjj`e wntc `v`rytcnlh N mbuje l``e dbr il
issnhlf`lt. Xnhs ijblh tc` tbp sc`jd―endd`r`lt mbjbrs ile
j`lhtcs. Il brhilnz`r wntc eriw`rs dbr `xt`lsnbls ile mbltimts
mis`s. Drbf tc` dnj` pnmtur`, nt jbbo`e jno` Mitijnli cie scbrtajble cinr nl i scie` jnhct`r tcil fnl`. N smil tc` wnhs, tcnlo-
nlh N„jj civ` tb iekust tc` j`lhtc blm` N dnle tc` rnhct mbjbr. N
r`imc nltb fy aih ile pujj but tc` cinr `xt`lsnbls, mbfanlh
fy dnlh`rs tcrbuhc tc`f tb sfbbtc tc`f but. Idt`r N ultilhj`
tc`f, N bp`l tc` eriw`r ile jiy tc`f l`xt tb tc` btc`rs, ile
erbp fy aih bl tc` djbbr.
Ihinl N yiwl, fy `y`s tbb c`ivy tb o``p bp`l fumc jbl-
h`r. N„jj civ` tb r`ie tcrbuhc Mitijnli„s dnj` tb s`` wcit sbrt
bd mjbtc`s sc` wbr`―wcit onle bd fio`up. ]bf`tnf`s tc`
pcbtbs ir` buteit`e, sb `imc issnhlf`lt tio`s i mir`duj mis`
stuey. Aut tc`r`„s lbt fumc tnf` dbr tcit. N mjnmo bdd tc` mjbs`tjnhct ile rul fy dnlh`rs ijblh fy wijj, tbumcnlh tc` rins`e
pitt`rl is N wijo. N pujj tc` dnrst pinr bd pikifis N dnle but bd
fy er`ss`r eriw`r.
‚Mitijnli Airl`s,‖ N furfur but jbue. N wble`r wcit c`r
vbnm` sbule`e jno`, nd nt„jj a` `isy tb fnfnm. Nd sc` cie ily
qunros br nlt`r`sts tcit N mil„t fist`r. N swntmc bdd tc` bv`rc`ie
jnhct ile jn` nl a`e, stirnlh up it tc` hjbw-nl-tc` eiro stirs stnjj
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Uc` Q@F@E^ 5>
stumo tb fy m`njnlh drbf i tnf` N mil„t r`f`fa`r. @imc ajnlo
jists jblh`r, ile kust a`dbr` N mjbs` fy `y`s mbfpj`t`jy, N wcns-
p`r, ‚Xcit cipp`l`e tb ybu2‖
N„v` l`v`r l``e`e il ijirf mjbmo. N wio` `irjy `v`ry fbrlnlh
lb fitt`r wcit tnf` N hb tb a`e, jno` fy abey iutbfitnmijjy
ensp`ls`s i aumo`t bd midd`nl` nltb fy mnrmujitbry syst`f. Fy
nlt`rlij mjbmo ns p`rfil`ltjy s`t it s`v`l i.f., lb fitt`r cbw
fumc sj``p N h`t tc` lnhct a`dbr`. ]tnjj, ay idt`rlbbl N„jj prba-iajy mrisc ile `le up lippnlh.
Fy c`ie d``js tcnmo ile mjbuey, ile N mjnfa but bd a`e tb
fbv` irbule―j`t fy arinl mitmc up wntc fy abey. Uc` cbus`
ns qun`t? fy eie ns prbaiajy wnp`e but drbf stiynlh up jit`
wntc f`. N s`` fy r`dj`mtnbl nl tc` vilnty fnrrbr ile pius` dbr
i jblh fbf`lt. Dbr i s`mble, N ebl„t r`mbhlnz` fys`jd wntcbut
tc` r`e cinr. N ebl„t r`mbhlnz` fys`jd is Yunll.
Uc` dbje`r s`nz`s fy itt`ltnbl ile tc` mblv`rsitnbl wntc
fy ditc`r djbbes aimo. N„f hbnlh bl issnhlf`lt ihinl―tcns
tnf` dbr twb wcbj` w``os. Ucns ns fikbr. Ucns ns mrizy. N pujj but
tc` sfijj mcinr ile snt ebwl, r`stnlh fy `jabw bl tc` vilntytbp. N bp`l tc` dnj` ile dnle Mitijnli„s pnmtur`.
]c` cis sfijj d`itur`s ile arbwl ̀ y`s ile ajble cinr, ijtcbuhc
N mil„t t`jj nd tc` mbjbr ns liturij br ey`e. ]c` eb`sl„t civ` dr`moj`s,
wcnmc f`ils N„jj civ` tb mbv`r fnl`. ]c` w`irs fbr̀ fio`up
tcil N lbrfijjy wbuje, aut tcit imtuijjy c`jps wc`l N„f trynlh
tb jbbo jno` tc` suak`mt. C`r drif` ns snfnjir tb fnl`, aut lbt is
murvy. ]c`„s iv`rih` nl `v`ry wiy. Ile ihinl N wble`r; Xcy c`r2
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N hjilm` it tc` pcbtb bd c`r pir`lts ile tc`l pnmo tcrbuhc
c`r tc`ripy lbt`s. ]c`„s drbf Jio` Bsw`hb, i pnmtur`squ` jnttj`
tbwl l`ir Wbrtjile. N„v` cie il issnhlf`lt up tc`r` blm`
a`dbr`―Mistj` Enjjbl, tw`jv` y`irs bje, erbwlnlh―aut N ebl„t
r`f`fa`r fumc drbf tcbs` twb br tcr`` eiys. ]mritmc tcit.
N r`f`fa`r c`r arbtc`r. C` wis dbur ile culh bl tb fy j`h
wc`l N hbt tc`r`, tcnlonlh N wis imtuijjy cns snst`r. Uc` `ltnr`
sm`l` wis i cbrrndnm f`ss, ile nt wis e`mne`e tcit c` enel„t l``e
tb a` nlvbjv`e nl tc` mjbsur` prbm`ss. C` aisnmijjy cie tb jbs`cns snst`r twnm`.
N rua cire it fy dim`, trynlh tb rua iwiy tc` nmoy ulm`r-
tinlty tcit mbf`s ijblh wntc tc`s` f`fbrn`s. Nd N hbt ittimc`e
tb tc` difnjn`s, fy kba wbuje a`mbf` nfpbssnaj`. N r`sp`mt
tc`f, tc`nr d``jnlhs, tc`nr jnv`s―N ebl„t a`mbf` pirt bd tc`f. N
ebl„t jbv` tc`f. N„f lbt ijjbw`e tb.
Ub enstrimt fys`jd, N env` aimo nltb tc` dnj`. Uc` e`itc m`r-
tndnmit` ns vihu`, ile N wble`r wcy nt„s nl tc` dnj` nl tc` dnrst
pjim`. Psuijjy nd tc` mius` bd e`itc ns bd ily nfpbrtilm`, fy
ditc`r t`jjs f` wcit cipp`l`e. N sndt tcrbuhc, pissnlh tc` pnm-
tur` bd Nsiim, ile dnle i j`tt`r―i pcbtbmbpy drbf i kburlij.Lbrfijjy N„e h`t tc` `ltnr` abbo. N wble`r wc`r` tc` r`st bd
tc` pih`s ir`.
Uc` cilewrntnlh ns jbbpy ile sw``t, ile N f`ltijjy mbf-
pir` nt tb fy bwl―sfijj ile prnlt`e. Uc` mrivnlh stirts; i
wnsc tb fnfnm. Ucit„s tc` tcnlh fbst p`bpj` wbujel„t ule`r-
stile; N jno` tb mbpy p`bpj`. N dnle nt dismnlitnlh, bas`rvnlh
tc`f, stueynlh tc`f, ile r`pjnmitnlh tc`f. N„f hbbe it nt.
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L`xt tb f` bl fy er`ss`r ns i Ensl`y mup dnjj`e wntc p`ls (i
sbuv`lnr N fnhct civ` jndt`e drbf Iltblni F`ssl`r i d`w y`irs
ihb), ile N hria bl`.
N pnmo i pn`m` bd rnpp`e pip`r but bd fy trisc mil. Uc`r „̀s i
rilebf lufa`r smriwj`e imrbss nt, aut N ebl„t r`f`fa`r wcit
nt„s drbf. Wrbaiajy i t`j`pcbl` lufa`r tcit E`imbl hbt aut
tcr`w but c`r`. Cns suatj` r`fnle`r tcit N„f tc` fbst nfpbr-
tilt hnrj nl cns jnd`―`v`l nd c` eit`s btc`r p`bpj`. N djnp bv`r tc`
pih` ile tc`l `xifnl` Mitijnli„s cilewrntnlh ihinl.
Ucns tnf` w` j`dt a`dbr` tc`ytcr`it`l`e tb jbmo tc` ebbrs.
N s`t ebwl tc` p`l ile pujj tc` pih` nl drblt bd f`, fy
nlt`r`st pnqu`e. Fbst bd tc` issnhlf`lts o``p kburlijs―nt„s i
mjiss w` ijj civ` tb tio` nl cnhc smcbbj, il ̀ xt`lsnbl bd tc`ripy.
Blm` upbl i tnf` `eumitnbl wis ijj iabut eiti ile smn`lm`
ile fitc. Aut sbmn`ty r`iss`ss`e nts hbijs. Lbw tc` smcbbjs
c`r` hnv` us tc` aisnms, aut tc`y ijsb c`jp us ne`ltndy bur w`io-
l`ss`s, pbnlt but djiws nl bur f`ltij c`ijtc sb tcit w` mil wbro tbwire filihnlh nt. Kburlijnlh wis imtuijjy bl` bd fy
divbrnt` mjiss`s, `v`l tcbuhc turlnlh bv`r bur p`rsblij kburlijs
tb tc` t`imc`r s``f`e jno` i ant bd i fnss`e pbnlt. Uc`y„r` lbt
r`ijjy bur prnvit` tcbuhcts nd w` civ` tb j`t sbf`bl` `js` r`ie
tc`f. Uc`l ihinl, N„f i jnttj` fbr` prbt`mtnv` bd fy `fbtnbls
a`mius` N olbw wcit cipp`ls tb tc` nldbrfitnbl blm` w`„r`
e`ie. Nt `les up nl i dnj`.
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01 ]uzill` ^bulh
Ucns tnf` w` j`dt a`dbr` tc`ytcr`it`l`e tb jbmo tc` ebbrs.Nsiim pujj`e f` ijblh nl tc` piroile w` w`r` abtc jiuhcnlh. Ilhn` pr`tty fumc cit`s cnf lbw, autsc` sbrt bd cit`s f` tbb. Xcitir` jnttj` snst`rs dbr, rnhct2 F`ile Nsiim `le`e up bl tc` ais`aijj
aj`imc`rs, onssnlh ultnj sbf`bl`a``p`e tc`nr cbrl nl tc` pironlhjbt. Nsiim enel„t wilt tb j`iv`,aut cns fbtc`r„s dim` ns cire tbirhu` wntc. @sp`mnijjy wc`l nt„s ijjsmrulmc`e up jno` tcit. X` sine hbbe lnhct, sif` wiy w` eb `v`rytnf`. N wint`e i fnlut` jblh`r tbwitmc cnf j`iv`, cbpnlh c` wbujejbbo aimo. C` enel„t.
Fy `y`s wne`l ile N r`r`ie tc` kburlij `ltry, hjilmnlh ittc` eit`. Nt wis wrntt`l i d`w w``os a`dbr` sc` en`e. Cis fy
eie s``l tcns2 Uc` tc`ripnsts2 Xis tc` mbupj` civnlh prba-
j`fs2 Jno` nt„s i firitcbl bd i divbrnt` UT scbw, N a`mbf`
bas`ss`e. N sp`le tc` `ltnr` fbrlnlh hbnlh tcrbuhc tc` dnj`,
stueynlh tc` kburlij `ltrn`s tcit w`r` nlmjue`e ile c`r pir-
`lts„ nlt`rvn`ws. Uurls but nt„s bljy twb w``os ultnj c`r `nhc-
t``ltc anrtceiy ile tc`r` wis i pirty pjill`e. I anh aisc
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Uc` Q@F@E^ 0=
tcit tc` fbf mil„t s``f tb h`t pist; N ijr`iey bre`r`e tc` mio`.
Nt„s mcbmbjit` rispa`rry―c`r divbrnt`. Xcit if N suppbs`e tb eb
wntc c`r mio`2 Nt„jj stnjj a` c`r anrtceiy. Uc` tc`ripnsts tcbuhct
nt wbuje prbvne` tc` l``e`e mjbsur` nd N stiy`e ultnj tcns pirty,
j`t tc` pir`lts siy hbbe-ay` bl tc`nr t`rfs. Nt„s i jnttj` fbrane,
aut N hu`ss N h`t nt. N„jj a` but tc` ebbr rnhct idt`r civnlh i
cuh` sjnm` bd mcbmbjit` rispa`rry mio`.
Uc`r`„s lbtcnlh `js` but bd tc` brenliry nl Mitijnli„s dnj`,
sb N primtnm` c`r sfnj` ultnj N h`t nt rnhct. N dnle tc` jnlos tb c`rendd`r`lt sbmnij f`eni immbults, tc` pisswbres prbvne`e ay tc`
tc`ripnsts. A`dbr` N mil bp`l up fy jiptbp, tcbuhc, fy stbf-
imc hrbwjs, ile N hb ebwlstinrs tb hria i abwj bd m`r`ij.
Fy ditc`r nsl„t nl tc` ontmc`l, ile N„f iabut tb mijj dbr cnf
wc`l N r`ijnz` tcit nt„s Ucurseiy. C`„s prbaiajy it tc` cbspntij.
Fy eiys ir` fnx`e up, ile N„f bljy cijd iwir` bd wcit N„f
ebnlh is N pujj but tc` abx bd Drbst`e Djio`s ile tc` fnjo.
‚N„f Yunljil FmO``,‖ N furfur, r`p`itnlh Firn`„s wbres
drbf jist lnhct. ‚N jnv` it 1700 ]`l`mi Wjim` nl Mbrvijjns,
Br`hbl. N„f s`v`lt``l ile N ernv` i a`it-up bje Cblei tcit
fy ditc`r wbl„t r`pjim`.‖ N snt it tc` tiaj` ile stir` ebwl it fyabwj. ‚N„f Yunljil FmO``,‖ N wcnsp`r.
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Mcipt`r Dnv`
F^ DIUC@Q XBQO] PLUNJ LNL@ BL UCPQ]EI^], ]B
irbule snx―idt`r i w`jj-e`s`rv`e lip―N pujj bl tc` ajimo
Qbjjnlh ]tbl`s U-scnrt ile i pinr bd k`ils tb c`ie bv`r tb
Iirbl„s ipirtf`lt. N„f d``jnlh ijtbh`tc`r fns`riaj` it tc`
tcbuhct tcit tcns wnjj a` fy jist tnf` cilhnlh but dbr i wcnj`.
Nt„s cire dbr i lblmjbs`r tb ule`rstile cbw enddnmujt bur jnv`s
mil a`. Ubfbrrbw N hnv` up fy jnd` dbr sbf`bl` `js`„s. Uc`dnrst tnf` N„jj tijo tb i drn`le wnjj a` wc`l Iirbl mijjs tb mc`mo
bl f`, ile tc`l ihinl wc`l c` s`ts up fy `xtrimtnbl. Iirbl
ns suppbs`e tb a` fy dnrst mbltimt a`mius` w` try lbt tb mcilh`
tc` virniaj`s bd r`ij jnd`. Uc`s` sbrts bd tcnlhs ijwiys civ` tb
stiy tc` sif`. ]bbl Yunljil FmO`` wbl„t `xnst. Ucit„s fy
jnd`―cijd tc` tnf` N ebl„t `xnst.
N hria fy o`ys bdd tc` `ltry tiaj` ile hb butsne` tb stirt
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Uc` Q@F@E^ 00
fy mir. Xc`l tc` mc`mo-`lhnl` jnhct mbf`s bl, N snhc, ile
tc`l aimo but bd tc` ernv`wiy. Uc` eiy idt`r bl` bd us r`turls,
Iirbl, E`imbl, ile N usuijjy f``t up tb tijo iabut ilytcnlh
btc`r tcil bur issnhlf`lts. X` `it ile ernlo ile imt stupne
tb d``j lbrfij. Ublnhct N„f dir tbb jbhnmij, aut N„f wnjjnlh tb
hb tcrbuhc tc` fbtnbls. N eb fy a`st tb put bl fy cippy dim`
wc`l N piro nl drblt bd Iirbl„s ipirtf`lt mbfpj`x. N tbss fy
mir o`ys nltb fy aih ile c`ie up tb tc` s`mble djbbr.
Bl tc` bp`l jilenlh, N hjilm` irbule. Uc` soy ns stnjjarnhct, lbt `v`l euso. Qnhct lbw nt d``js jno` N„f nl il cbur-
hjiss dnjjnlh up wntc sile, wintnlh tb a` djnpp`e bv`r. N olbmo bl
tc` ebbr a`dbr` bp`lnlh nt ile wijonlh nl.
‚Uc`r` sc` ns,‖ E`imbl illbulm`s tc` fnlut` N ipp`ir nl
tc` `ltry. C`„s bl tc` mbumc nl tc` jnvnlh rbbf, ile c` cbjes
up il bv`rsnz` aju` pjistnm mup nl mc``rs. C` tio`s i snp, cns
`y`s trinl`e bl f` jno` c` mil ijr`iey t`jj sbf`tcnlh„s wrblh.
Uc` hnrj l`xt tb cnf mists i murnbus jbbo nl fy enr`mtnbl ile
tc`l jiuhcs ile tbumc`s cns tcnhc tb h`t cns itt`ltnbl. E`imbl
djnlmc`s, aut turls tb c`r ile sfnj`s―mcirfnlh is ̀ v`r. I jnttj`
dirtc`r ebwl tc` wijj N dnle Iirbl, cns pcbl` nl cns cile isFyri snts a`sne` cnf, prittjnlh bl iabut sbf`tcnlh mjbs` tb cns
`ir. Iirbl cnts i auttbl ile fusnm stirts tb pjiy. C` lbtnm`s fy
scnrt ile slbrts, ile N bdd`r cnf i sirmistnm wiv`. Iw`sbf`―
hu`ss N„f dndtc-wc``jnlh nt. Iirbl mbuje civ` tbje f` E`imbl
cie i hnrj tblnhct.
Xntcbut sp`ionlh but jbue, N turl ile strbjj ebwl tc`
cijjwiy tbwire tc` ontmc`l. Uc`r`„s i pnzzi abx, `fpty `xm`pt
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04 ]uzill` ^bulh
dbr twb pirtnijjy e`vbur`e mrusts. ]`v`rij twb-jnt`rs bd sbei ir`
bp`l, ijblh wntc i abttj` bd Kimo Eiln`j„s. N ebl„t wilt tb rnso i
cilhbv`r, sb N ebl„t abtc`r wntc tc` ijmbcbj. N pbur sbf` ]prnt`
nltb i mup ile tio` but fy pcbl`, mc`mo dbr ily f`ssih`s. N
ebl„t civ` ily, bd mburs`. Uc` bljy p`bpj` wcb wbuje mijj f`
ir` snttnlh nl tc` btc`r rbbf.
Ucns tnf` jist y`ir, E`imbl, Iirbl, ile N w`r` it E`imbl„s,
cilhnlh but bl cns aimo pbrmc. Nt wis uls`isbliajy wirf, ile
Iirbl aust`e but i sfijj mifpnlh hrnjj c`„e pnmo`e up it tc`mblv`ln`lm` stbr`. Nt mbuje bljy mbbo bl` cifaurh`r ile i d`w
cbt ebhs it i tnf`, aut w` enel„t fnle. Uc`r` w`r` mbje ernlos
nl tc` mbbj`r, tc` sfboy sf`jj bd dnr` snhlijnlh tc` upmbfnlh
suff`r. E`imbl ile N w`r` eitnlh tc`l, ile c` wis snttnlh
bl tc` stinr a`jbw fy d``t, tc` sne` bd cns c`ie r`stnlh bl fy
tcnhc is w` jnst`l`e tb Iirbl tijo iabut i l`w aile c`„e hbl`
tb s``. Ucit lnhct s``f`e tb jist dbr`v`r, tc` tcr`` bd us cilhnlh
but ile lbrfij―br is mjbs` tb lbrfij is w` mbuje a`. Xcit N
wbujel„t hnv` tb civ` tcit aimo dbr `v`l i s`mble.
N tio` ilbtc`r snp bd sbei ile tc`l r`st fy cnp ihinlst tc`
hrilnt` mbult`r. Lbrfijjy N„e a` nl tc`r` wntc tc`f, aut rnhctlbw N„f d``jnlh i ant iailebl`e. N civ`l„t a``l cbf` tw`lty-
dbur cburs ile N„v` ijr`iey hbt ilbtc`r issnhlf`lt. N„f lbt
`v`l dujjy f` ihinl.
‚C`y, sie dim`,‖ E`imbl siys drbf tc` ebbrwiy, stirtjnlh
f`. N pjil tb rbjj fy `y`s br eb sbf`tcnlh `quijjy ulnlt`r-
`st`e, aut wc`l N turl tb cnf, c` r`ies fy fns`ry tbb qunmojy.
E`imbl erinls wcit„s j`dt nl cns mup ile s`ts nt bl tc` mbult`r
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Uc` Q@F@E^ 08
a`dbr` stirtnlh tbwire f`. Ù irs stnlh fy ̀ y`s, ile N turl iwiy
sb c` wbl„t s``. N ebl„t wilt tb hb.
E`imbl wrips cns irfs irbule f` drbf a`cnle ile r`sts
cns mcnl bl tc` tbp bd fy c`ie. C` swiys f` tb tc` iwduj sblh
tcit Iirbl„s pjiynlh nl tc` btc`r rbbf, sbbtcnlh f` ay enstrim-
tnbl. E`imbl„s abey ns wirf, strblh―i t`tc`r tb fy r`ij jnd`.
‚Xcit„s ijj tc