the rhegedian chronicle issue 1

8/18/2019 The Rhegedian Chronicle Issue 1

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The Rhegedian Chronicle 1

THE RHEGEDIAN CHRONICLESIssue 1 The month of Sigmarstide, in the Year of the Leaping Bear

I NSI DE THIS ISSUE

1 The tidings of Chaos

2 The beginnings of War

3 An excerpt from the new book by infamous Night GoblinWarlord, Snazzgit Stunty Stompa.

3 A guide to the New Rhegedian Calendar

3 The New Rhegedian Calendar by Albrecht Schneider

Chaos comes to Rheged.

By Pierre Sur-coraislamy Scrivener to the Court of the Duc de Rheged .

Alas the dark gods have found us

How naïve we were to believe that this blessed land would

remain hidden from their gaze. It happened sometime over the

winter when the roads were closed by the heavy snows. The

noble town of Carlisle and its surrounding towns and villages

ruled over by that most beneficent of rulers Baron Gustavos

Altenfeltman Margrave of Eden is gone. It has been replaced

by a foul and decrepit mockery. The vile forces of chaos have

overrun the entire margrave and even now torture and tormentthe populace, at least what little remains of them. Nobody

knows for certain how many of the dark gods servants have

descended upon our fair land but you can rest assured it will be

more than we would wish. I call on all free peoples to oppose

these depraved barbarians, the forces of order must stand

together against this evil if we are to hope to avoid the fate

which currently befalls the old world

A foul Chaos ritual!


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The Imperial Army on the march

The beginnings of War.

By Pierre Sur-coraislamy Scrivener to the Court of the Duc de Rheged.

A treatise on the movements of the armies

of Rheged.

The Minions of Chaos

The month began with the newly arrived legions of hell

pouring out from the waste land that was Eden. They sent

out 3 warbands, one to the East, one to the South west and

one to the North. The Northern most warband discovered a

Large Fortress on the Edges of the Solway moss. Thiswas a foul and loathsome place inhabited by the vile ratmen.

Surprisingly these creatures of chaos did not welcome the

evil men but withdrew into their fastness. The Leader of

this warband immediately set to besieging the fortress. In

the East they found a verdant land filled with towns and

villages. This land was under the dominion of the Slaan

and their local ruler was a Skink Priest by the name Ai

Tich hoo. Reports are varied as to what happened, our

intrepid reporter Katerina Ai Dee garnered the following

quotes “They came out of the mists screaming and yelling

calling the names of their dark gods. We met them out sideof the village of Petchu. All it took was two or three volleys

of blow pipes and javelins and they soon fled” Ai Tich Hoo,

58 “I sent the Bjornling Marauder Horsemen to conquer

this land as it was beneath me. They failed me and now

their skulls are tributes to the Blood God.” The Blood

Lord, age unknown. Whatever the true story the outcome

isobvious for all to see as Ai Tich Hoo and his Lizardmen

still dwell within the fertile valley.

The final warband found nothing but moors and heathland

as it continued to advance to the South West.

The Noble Armies of Caer Curwen

In response to the Chaos invasion of Rheged. Lord

Caerluel, Duc de Rheged mobilised his forces and began to

expand his empire. To the beating of drums and the fanfare

of trumpets the armies did march forth, one to the East, one

to the North, one to the south and one to the South west.

As the advanced they peacefully conquered three new

counties. To the north lies the new county of Crosby

bordering the Lizardmens realm. To the East lies the new

county of Cockermouth along the river Deer Whent. To the

south lies the new coastal county of Harrington. The final

army continued south along the coast but found nothing but

barren shore lands with naught but small impoverished

hamlets.

The Throng of Karak Jhaz

The Dwarfs of Clan Skrat began by exploring their

mountain fastness. To the north East they found nothing

but barren mountins, again to the south east they found

nothing of import. But to the south west along the river

Urbaz they discovered a prosperous realm centred upon a

bustling City. At the sight of the stout hearted dwarfs the

city’s guildsmen pledged allegiance to Lord Rik Grimli

Lunsson the Dwarven king.

The Glorious Hosts of Tor Sarior

Having established a firm foundation in the coastal lands of

Dunnerdale His Highness Prince Golnwaen order his

armies out to begin the search for the soulblade. Their quest

has not started well however. The first of the Elven hosts

found nothing of import along the coast to the west of Tor

Muncaster. Whilst the second host searched the wilderness

of Ulpha fell and discovered a Wizards tower.

Unfortunately the Tower was inhabited by a vile Skaven

Grey Seer and his despicable servants. The High Elvesimmediately attacked to try to recover the valuable lore

contained within the tower. However the outcome of this

assault is as yet unclear!


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T H E N E W R H E G E D I A N

C A L E N D A R .

Albrecht Shneider of Barrowstown has devised a new

Calendar which is fast becoming the favoured method for

monitoring the year. Already the Empire of Barrowstown

has adopted the format as has the Kingdom of Caer

Curwen and, it is believed the Lizardmen of the north.

Below is laid out the simple rules for the Calendar First

the years, these take the form of a 10 year cycle which

repeats. In order to avoid confusion each cycle is prefaced

with a Cycle name. Each year is split into 12 months

starting at the Winter Solstice

C A L E N D A R

YEARS

Bear, Cat, Dog, Dragon, Eagle, Fox, Griffon, Hydra,

Lion, Tiger

CYCLE NAMES

Leaping, Red, Fiery, Dark, Screaming, Dancing, Dire,

Fighting, Grim, Gaunt.

MONTHS

Wintarung, Sollung ,Hornung , Sigmarsung,

Winninung, Brahung, Hewiung, Aranung, Witung,

Winterfylleth, Herbistung, AErra Geola.

Winter begins with the first full moon of Winterfylleth,

Spring begins in the month of Hornung with the Equinox

whilst Autumn commences in Witung with the Equinox.

The Solstices fall in Aerr Geola for the Winter Solstice

and Brahung with the summer solstice.

How to make Stunties taste good.

By Snazzgit Stunty Stompa Lord of Fell Scar

Da biggest problem wiv stuntie is that dey is so tough. Tough

as ole boots most of da time. So you’z gotta make sure dat you

tenderize dem well and proper.Now my ole Dad he used to

swear by a big ole club for tenderizin is stuntie and he always

said dey tasted better if dey were tenderized ta deff I mean he

wud get out a live stunty an beat the blighta wiv is club till it

was well an truly tenderized.

Now times ave moved on since dem days and we no longer use

anyfink as crude as a club! Now we’ve got this ded shiny

hammer thing which came off some ded stunty lord an it does a

fantastic job of tenderizing not only stunties, but oomies, and

poncy elfs too.

Now once you as tnederized your stuntie you need to gut it an

skin it. Now not every one skins their stunty o’course some

like em with nice crispy skin, but presonnaly I fink they is best

if youze can get the erbs an spices right into their flesh.

Once your stunty is skinned and gutted then youze need to rub

in some erbs. I find that nettles, thistles and wild garlic goes

really well with roast stunty. Once he is properly season’d then

it’s time ta skewer im and stick im on da fire.

Cook im onna spit that’s well tended by snots, make sure them

useless buggers keep turnin im so he don’t burn and after half

hour or so you’ll ave a juicy roast stunty that your Ma wud be

proud of.

From “how to survive as a single Gobbog ina cruel and lonely world” by

Snazzgit Sunty stompa, publish by the bl ack goblin press.


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the rhegedian chronicle issue 1

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