the smartest way to teach your kids to be patient - shazwan azman

8/7/2019 The Smartest Way to Teach Your Kids to Be Patient - Shazwan Azman

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The Smartest

Way To TeachYour Kids To BePatient

EDITOR JAMILAH SAMIAN

ARRANGE BY SHAZWAN AZMAN

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You might have read of many ways on

how to teach a child to be patient.However, there is one way that expertsagree is THE BEST, THE SMARTEST and

THE MOST EFFECTIVE WAY to teach kidsto be patient.

Its called ROLE MODELING.

Its good to remember that kids hear whatyou say but follow what you do. Simplysaid, kids like to copy. For kids who havemums and dads, theyll naturally copywhat their mums and dads do. Because ofthis, Id like to share with you what Ilearnt from my late father about patience.

Like you, I have read quite a bit aboutbeing patient, but I can vouch that tilltoday, the lessons that I learnt from mylate father are the most powerful.

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Let me tell you a little bit about my father.The interesting thing about him was thathe was rarely around. He was by all

accounts an absent father. Well, almost.He was never present during my cousinsweddings, family get-togethers, familydinners, even funerals of loved ones.About the only time he was at home waslate in the evening. But even then, he

would be so exhausted to talk or entertainhis family.

Oh yes, other than that, there was HariRaya; the only time he would make a briefappearance for the entire year. Even then,

it was only for a few hours to allow him togo to the mosque for the Eid Prayer. Thenhe would rush home, change into hisworking gear and get back to work. Thiswas expected of my father. You see, my

father was a bus-driver. He had what

people call a blue-collar job. He was paida minimum wage based on the hour. Myfather was earning so little that he couldnever afford to take breaks from his job.

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Let me share with you two personalstories how my father taught my siblingsand I about patience.

YOU NEED TO BE PATIENT TO GET

WHAT YOU WANT

When I was in secondary school, thegovernment introduced the book loan

scheme. The only requirement was that,you needed to return the books at the endof the year to the school so the youngerstudents may reuse them. If youre lucky,you get brand new books and if youarent, you get second-hand ones.

I can still recall the day I told my fatherabout this program. I showed him theform. He retorted, You wont participatein this program for two reasons: First, ifyou get second hand books, the pages

might be torn or have scribbles on them.Second, even if you get brand new books,you still have to return them. You cant

keep them for revision next year. Thatsuseless.

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I must tell you that the house my siblingsand I grew in -- my parents home wasnt a showcase. It was practically bare

of furniture. In fact, when I was growingup, my father couldnt afford to paint thewooden walls. They were stained all over.When it rained, the raindrops leftpermanent irregular marks on them. Ioften thought that the walls of our home

looked like a map straight from a page ofthe World Atlas! And we all knew thereason my father worked from dawn todusk saving all the money he could, notjust to put enough food on the table, but

to make sure theres sufficient money to

pay for our school fees AND new booksplus new, decent clothes for Hari Raya.Every year.

My father could have easily accepted thebook loan program to ease his financialstanding. He could have used the extra

money to spruce up our home perhapsto give a fresh coat of paint to ourrundown house or buy a modest sofa. But

that wasnt my father.

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My siblings and I observed what my fatherdid every day and learnt throughexperience that to get something you

really want, you must work hard for it andbe patient. This thought kept me goingduring hard times to make me the first girlfrom my village to study in a universityabroad. And it motivated my siblings somuch that all of them went to university;

another milestone for the village folk inmy kampung.

YOU NEED TO BE PATIENT IN TIMES

OF HARDSHIP AND ILLNESS

My father spent a good portion of his lastthree months in a hospital in Johor Bahru.I would take the express bus as often as I

could from Kuala Lumpur, taking turnswith my siblings to keep him company. Onhis last days, my father could hardlyswallow anything as he had a growth in

his trachea. The most he could ingest wasa few sips of water.

The doctor attached a shunt (a device toallow flow of nutrients into his ailing and

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frail body through an opening) to hisabdomen. The first time I saw the shuntprotruding from the left side of his

abdomen, it came as a shock. I rememberthinking: Whats this alien thing sitting onmy father?

What surprised me was that, despite theobvious discomfort he was in, each time Iasked Sakit ke abah? (Does it hurt,

father?), all he would utter was Taklah. (Not at all.) with a gentle shake ofhis head.

My father and I spent many a silent nighttogether at the hospital. Me on the sofa bythe window and him stretched on his bed

with the drip extending from one side. Wehardly talked for my father was a man offew words. I often wondered then, and Istill do now: How could a man with somuch pain be so calm and composed? But

deep inside me, I was determined to

become as patient as he was if I were tofind myself in a similar situation.

I hope youre convinced that the smartest,the best and most effective way to teach

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your kids to be patient is to be patientyourself. Show them how to be patient,dont just tell them. Be patient when you

run into financial hardship, be patient ifyou got fired from your job, be patient ifyou lost a loved one. Be patient whenyour kids do something wrong. In short,be patient when Allah Most Merciful istesting you with difficult times in your life.

Remember:

KIDS DONT FOLLOW

WHAT YOU SAY. THEYCOPY WHAT YOU DO!!!

TO BE CONTINUED.

2011@ALL RIGHT RESERVED FORTUNEZ PUBLICATION

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the smartest way to teach your kids to be patient - shazwan azman

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