the story of my biggest fear
TRANSCRIPT
my biggest fearwasn’t always my biggest fear
i used to be just like youyoung and fearless
ok, maybe not that fearless
(i’m not really a cat person to begin with)
but i was no scaredy cat
as a kid, i was never afraid of those silly things
like clowns
being away from my parentsmonsters under my bed
the dark
yet somehow as a freshman in high schooli managed to pick up a fear even sillier than all the rest
not spidersnot heightsnot dyingnot going stag to prom
i know my fear is irrational, i really do
katie and i have a fear of squirrels
yes, squirrels
i googled ‘cute squirrel’ and this image came up
(this image terrifies me)
in fact, i see little reason why the words ‘cute’ and ‘squirrel’ should ever be used in the same sentence .
i don’t care how big it smiles
or how tiny and pink it is
onebecause in my mind there is only one squirrel
we were introduced
one morning as i was getting ready for school
without warningor invitation
there he was
arms spread widecaught in my window screen
i made it to the bus stopa whoppingone hour early
when our eyes met, i screamed and ran faster than i’d ever run before
it was the scariest 10 seconds of my life
you may not believe me
but you didn’t see his stare
his beady little stare
if you didwe’d be starting a club this very minute:
the squirrely scarediesthe he-man squirrel afraiders clubnon-nutty squirrel haterade drinkers
(ok ok we’ll work out the name later)
and my biggest fear would be your biggest fear too