the story of stupid legend

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    Kaddu Special

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    PrefaceThe following entire book is pseudo-true fact experienced by 2 peopleThey were very unfortunate to experience this and lost not only their mental stability butalso their childhoodThey went through a phase called Radek in their lives on which the entire book is basedonThis short story- book is dedicated to these martyrs whose childhood was exploitedby Radek and nightmares of illogical thoughts, expression, and theoriesyou can contact these guys at- [email protected]

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    Chapter 1- Intro

    The following words are not cooked up but a true story of a stupid legend. It allstarted when a penguin & duck got married. They had a sonwho didnt seem so stupid, but he later he proved to be one of the greatest in world.

    At the mere age of 1 yr he started calling mama & papa, but penguin was upset.Wonder why? Because this Prodigy called his neighbor papa. The young lad was so skilledthat he never pooped in his pants, but always did that on someones hand. Thus in year1979 he bagged the title ofPOOPY CHILD OF THE YEAR. His name was Radek. After some timehe joined jr.kg school; when teacher saw this genius, she demoted him for three years. A

    historic record on its own.

    As the boy grew older he started picking things very fast. He got the concepts he neverread. He understood the meaning of the things which were senseless. Once sitting in aMathematics lecture he asked his mate Do you have the book the professor is teachingthe boy promptly gave the book. As his sharp mind would comprehend, heunderstood, calculated & solved the entire book in just 15 min. Proud Radek knew he hadit in him. Just after he completed the book a boy from back whispered Dude you weresolving a Dictionary! Gone nuts?It seems u r jealous of mehuh Radek replied.

    A famous incident occured as follows-Once a teacher called radek & said hey u fat pig! Tell me what is 12 times 5.Radek neverknew tables he answered If only I had 100 fingers I could tell u!! Foolish! impressed by hisstupidity, the teacher said Give this F****** dumb a book on tables, look from there & tellme!!!! . He looked-up, looked-down, thought and answered roughly 55.189.the nextthing we heard that professor had a nervous breakdown & went into coma. Such was thegreatness of Radek;

    As the time progressed, Radek became a brilliant blooper; at time of his graduation, he hadchosen Physics, Astronomy and Mathematics as his major subjects. Realizing his potentialin making supreme errors, university not only gave him a BSc but awarded him a masters

    in pure and Applied Mistakes, Soon enough he got a doctorate for his specialization inSuper Weird/Non sense theories and highly silly calculations,With his over (the head) qualification, he was easily chosen as chief of foolish people; Fewyears later he left the job and started his new money-making venture called Young School[aka Abhinav Vidyalaya] where young minds were (apparently) taught. Surprisingly hisparents Ducky & Penguin were a part of it too;

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    Unseen cartoons

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    Unseen cartoon

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    Chapter 2- The Meeting

    There is one genius in a million, but there is only one MORON in 10 billion (Not

    exaggerating); two kids were very (un)fortunate enough to meet Radek as his studentsOneof his student named WhoAmI narrated his first meeting-

    If I ever knew that things were to happen like this (by meeting Radek Sir), then I wouldhave cursed the Almighty and become Atheist!I vividly remember 1st meetingWe bunked our lectures (which we regretted later) to meet Radek to know aboutCrapolympics. At far distance we saw a fat guy talking with fake English accent,

    I was mighty impressed by tremendous and depth of knowledge which Radek sir had tooffer; excited to learn about Crapolympics and having this priceless (that is price = 0)chance to interact with Radek Sir I began the difficult journey of preparing forCrapolympics with stucksun and Marwadi, babumushai, smile-pinky an many more

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    Chapter 3-The Epiphany

    Three students WhoAmI, Stucksun and Marwadi were lucky enough to re-enter YoungSchool as college students; being supremely arrogant, they always used to under-estimateRadek sir and his ingenious stupidity.

    Not paying attention to what Radek used to (apparently) teach in Mathematics wastheir practice (which they regretted later)Once Stucksun Marwadi were solving some sums in their notebook; WhoAmI being bored ofstudies tried listening to Radeks lectureRadek was explaining the approximation series of cos x; WhoAmI found that so interestingthat he soon started listening it with rapt attention.

    Soon Radek spoke-Some people use calculators arbitrarily to calculate but some smartpeople (like me) can manually do that with snap

    So cos x = 1-x2

    /2!+x4

    /4!...Common! Common! Quick put the value of x and calculate cos 72These words stimulated fresh young minds and with full insincerity they started

    scribbling, nobody came up with answer in next 3 minutes; frustrated by sloppiness ofclass Radek decided to take charge. Quickly he turned to board, susbstituted x = 72 in hisequation and managed to get an answer which no sane man could get cos 72 = -0.023

    This shocked WhoAmI and he compelled others to see it; equally stumped Marwadi,Stucksun no longer doubted genius Radek.That moment they had sudden realization of great truth, they had epiphany

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    Chapter 4- Hard Work behind PhD

    Once when these boys (namely Stucksun, Babumushai, WhoamI, and Marwadi) were intenth standard, a strange yet provoking incident occurred that proved Radeks brilliance.

    The Pphysics Olympiad was nearing and these boys were solving past physics olympiadpapers with Radek sir; the discussion was so intense that Radek Sir had to recharge with 2jars of cutting (tea). WhoAmI had the solution sheet of that past paper, which was used tocheck answers after discussion of problem.

    One question which these boys encountered was tricky; but how could it match withinfinite stupidity of Radeks?? The question was-

    If velocity of an inertial body is given by v(t) = 6t+4 where t is time in seconds then (canyou please) find acceleration of body at t=0?Options-

    6m/s2

    0m/s4 m/s30m/s2Such a tricky problem made these boys to turn around and look at Radek with puzzledface.Radek ingeniously made a mistake and told an answer which no one could think-Is itoption A, WhoAmI? WhoAmI replied no Sir.Radek analyzed his silly mistake, shrugged off and said,Oh! The answer is B; Whoamireplied No sir its option D. This went on & ontill he gave all wrong answers in thatpaper..

    Every body was amazed to see sirs consistent error (like failing to see dimensions ofanswers) and his unthinkable logic behind his irrational answers; that day those studentstruly believed that Sirs PhD in applied mistakes and stupidity was not a fluke.

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    Unseen Cartoon

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    Chapter 5- Bell the cat or BAIL the catDaily lots & lots of coffee, chocolates, (also cutting-chai), veg kebabs, sugarless halwa,wada-less dahiwada, jamless bread-jam etc was eaten by Radek (one of the reason whyIndia starves).This forced him to think about generating some finance for eateries. An ideastruck him, & he termed this source of income as PHILOSOPHY OLYMPIAD

    (Woah woah, dont take it seriously) philosophy is a subject of ideal (& idle) losers,bigger the loser, better the philosopher you become.How he looted-In life even the smartest person has his foolish moments and even foolish person has hissmartest moments; this was his (only) smart moment.

    This guy conducted exams, tests, searched for talent, analysed (Mind you all this wasdone only in ABHINAV CENTRAL JAIL). Finally he got two bakras. The idea was to go toRomania where philosophy Olympiad was conducted, & compete with whole set of newlosers coming from different countries.The $$$ idea-Two students paid their expenses as well as Radeks expenses of lodging and boarding;reason to get company of Radek. Students, though, argued why Radek couldnt travel ingoods carrier but alas! No point in explaining a dumb.

    So, Radek went to an international Philosophy Olympiad with his two students (dontlaugh yet) After the competition, Radek used his nano-scopic brain, and decided to go outthe next day & roam nearby. His students were happy but unaware of future.

    They saw this big church in Romania & went in. Looking here & there, girls saw a big bell.They were shocked seeing its size, while our whiz kid was getting a highhis brain waspeaking heart was fully pumping& he ran towards the bell (may be to impress thegirls).and rang the BIG BELL..a loud silence followed it. People stared at him withshock as if he was naked.

    The Priest was unmoved, girls got stiff. Soon a higher authority arrived and said Who isthat IDIOT!!!!! (Soon the officer noticed the idiot who was scratching his ass) Do youknow THIS BELL is rung only ONCE a YEAR during i.e. in Christmas?

    Next is when we learnt a word called Bail.

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    Never seen before cartoons